Episode 17 - The Power of Initiative

In this episode, we explore how initiative helps children become more confident, independent, and motivated in everyday life. Parents and carers will discover practical ways to encourage children to take responsibility, try new things, and step forward without always waiting to be asked.

Initiative is more than simply getting started — it’s about helping children develop confidence, problem-solving skills, and a willingness to take positive action. When children learn to show initiative, they become more resilient, responsible, and better prepared to manage challenges, build independence, and contribute positively at school and beyond.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

The best way to get something done is to begin. So let's begin. Welcome to Connecting with Your Kids, a podcast dedicated to helping you cultivate connected relationships with your children while learning life skills.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Hi, I'm Andy McNeely, a parent, educator, relationship coach, and author. And I'm Ash Morfitt, a proud parent, school teacher, and sports coach. Join us as we explore valuable concepts and share practical strategies that will positively impact both children and the adults in their lives. This is Connecting with Your Kids.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Welcome to Connecting with Your Kids, another podcast talking about initiative today. Andy, how are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:56

I'm excellent. I'm really good. It's been uh been a good week, and uh I'm really buzzed and keen to be back here again recording another podcast. Nice, recording it in the car. Yep. On on a day. Yeah, it's always good to be sitting over looking the waves and uh having a chat and um just being together. It's it's it's enjoyable. And um today we're talking about initiative. And can I t tell you a still story about initiative for me? This was about quite a while ago. Uh I I don't know why, but I decided I wanted to build a pizza oven. Yeah. And I did a lot of research. Now I'd never laid a brick before in my life. Okay. So this was a bit of a stupid thing to do. But my mate Jeff was and I had a conversation and we decided we were going to build one at the same time, and we just got going, started laying bricks, and they weren't very straight. I had some help from my father-in-law, who I think he was a bit embarrassed about how bad I'd done, but he helped straighten it up the base, and then I sort of got going with the dome, and uh it just was about like how can I do this, what can I do? Yeah, bit of YouTube and a bit of having a go, and it's still, to my surprise, still standing about 17 or 18 years later. I don't know how yeah, I know. I just got it going and and um it it is really when you cook food in it and pizza, it just tastes so much better from flame.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

So you did it at the same time as your friend Jeff. Is he is Jeff's still standing?

SPEAKER_00 2:35

He's still standing too. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, it's good. I know, yeah, it's amazing, it's a great thing, you know. And I do it differently next if next time, I say next time, if I do it again, if I do it again, I'll make it smaller. Yeah, but um, it's still just done. It's something special about cooking by flame outside. Yeah, oh yeah, really cool.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Well, uh there's a quote that says the best way to get something done is to begin. And that was it for me. You did it. Yeah, beginning.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, I made it happen. I don't know how. Yeah, I've done a few crazy things in my lives, I think my life, and think, why would I think about doing that? And I've got no skill or practice, but I've just sort of done it.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

So if you were to define initiative, yeah. We'll talk about what initiative is. How would you describe it?

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Um, well, I suppose you'd think about it, it's probably noticing what needs to be done and then actually doing it without being told. Yep. Uh it could be thinking of yourself and taking action, sort of not waiting for some instruction from someone else. And it could be like seeing a problem or an opportunity and actually acting on it yourself. Yep. Sort of that's what I'd say it is in the sort of general terms.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Cool. That's um so I teach junior years at a primary school, and we uh it's I find it really tough to talk about well not to talk about initiative, but I suppose to see those skills in kids, um, to see them learn those skills. And I don't know, we often a good time to do it is when there's a problem that happens. So for example, like sometimes the kids will walk outside with their hands full of stuff while they're going out for eat their lunch, and their lunchbox unclips and spills all over the ground. And so often when that happens at the start, near the start of the year, the kid will just be there looking at their food, and all the kids around them looking at them, looking at their food, yeah. Thinking, all right, now what? And so for me to be able to use that as a moment to teach about this initiative, it's right, all right, well, how about we help this person pick up the food and put it in their lunchbox? Oh yeah, yeah. And so then that happens like kids dropping their lunchbox happens all the time. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

And so what I've noticed and what I've seen as the years gone by is that now if someone did it, and someone did it just at school yesterday, other kids will now help them put their stuff in their lunchbox straight away. So use that initiative, so be able to, you know, take action without having to think about it. Yep. And so for me, I think, oh, that's really nice to see that they're using their initiative. And I've always think it kind of links in with empathy as well, and being, you know, think of how others feel and being able to help them and feel better. And we certainly notice in the classroom or as a coach, we notice that kids with initiative they've got more confidence and show a bit of responsibility. Um, they're able to solve problems faster, they can build trust, and it links in a bit with creativity as well, that sort of enhanced creativity, being able to see what's going on and be able to try and find a fix for it.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Yes, and you know, I'm reminded of the story you told about that the kids dropping their lunchbox. Quite often as adults, we want to jump in and help our kids. Yeah, yes, and solve those problems for them. But when we sort of stand back and say, Well, how are you gonna fix it? By standing back and saying that, it is the underlying message is also, hey, you've got this, you can do it. Absolutely. And by when we it's natural, we want to help our kids. Yep. But when we let them sort it out, they learn and then they go, Oh, I can do it. And like you were saying, it's we're it's building that um confidence. Yeah, and I notice that when I work with uh parents, when I do um coaching, by helping parents not to solve problems, but let the kids solve the problems, it it builds confidence and it builds skills and it's a practice thing so that our kids can grow and become more independent. Yep. They can sort it out themselves, which they can, but it's very natural just to want to fix it for them.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you don't want to see your whether it's your own kids or someone that you're working with, you don't want to see them struggling. But yeah, if you can help them to solve the problem, then it builds that skill.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Yes. And Victor Hugo, who is a French novelist, uh, he said initiative is doing the right thing without being told. Yeah, yeah, okay. And that's exactly what we're talking about. Yeah, it is, it is.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Yeah. Um so we talk about all of these all the ideas we we get in these podcasts. We try and give you some practical ideas and that you can try at home with your own kids, whether it's your own kids, the kids you work with. Yep. Um some will work, some won't work.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

No, but just have a go. And it is about building that relationship. It is connecting with your kids. Yep. So so your kids feel, yeah, I'm valued. My the adult person in my life really cares for me. I'm connected, you know, and I want to go to them, you know, for a bit of fun, or even go to them for uh help if they need a bit of help.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Yep, you know. And the adults that care for you aren't necessarily those that do everything for you. No. It's those that help you feel safe and build those life skills. They are. Yep. Yep. All right. Do you want to kick us off today with the first idea that we could use to practice that skill of initiative?

SPEAKER_00 8:13

I will. Okay, organise a picnic or day trip somewhere with some friends or family. Where will you go or will you take? Who will you invite?

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Okay, nice, nice. Here's our second idea. When you are asked to do something, do more than you were asked to do. What did you notice? Good one.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Good one. Yeah, make that the default. Yeah, do a bit more. Yeah. Okay, think of a card game or board game that you'd like to play and get a group together and play it. Great. Some of the best ways to form connections. Just simple, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Yeah. Next idea. Make a list of different times when you use your initiative to get something started or to achieve a goal. Cool. Like that.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Make a list and then compare them and have a chat about it. Yeah. Good one. Because you might do it more than you realise. Yes. Yeah. You'd be surprised how often you actually use your initiative. Okay, last idea to finish off. Look for an area in your life that could do with some organizing or changing and get started. What did you notice when you started? Cool. I like it. Use that initiative. Get it started. Yes. So we invite you to use your initiative, take one of those ideas, and have a bit of fun connecting with your kids. Yep. They're the key things, aren't they? They are the key things.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Yep. All right. Love doing these podcasts with you, Andy. It's been great.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

It's always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

All right, look forward to the next one.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Thanks very much, everyone. Talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Thanks for listening to Connecting with Your Kids with Anthony McNeely and Ash Morfitt.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

The ideas in this podcast are inspired by three books I've written Connecting with Your Kids, Connecting with Your Teens, and Connecting with Your Students. For more information, see the podcast.