How to Heal Through Forgiveness (Even When It Feels Impossible)

I explore what healing from within actually requires when the pain is still alive under the surface. I walk through forgiveness as a practical path to emotional freedom so we can stop carrying the past in our bodies and start leading with self-trust. 

• defining healing from within as awareness and responsibility 
• reframing forgiveness as release rather than approval 
• self-forgiveness for guilt shame and regret 
• why avoidance keeps you tied to what hurt 
• recognizing hurt people hurt people without taking it on 
• choosing boundaries and the Let Them mindset 
• a simple grounding practice to come back inward 
• healing as nonlinear layered work you carry for life 

Feel free to share this episode, tag me and share anything if this if anything has spoken to you today. 
If you're not already following me, you can find me on Instagram at immarisa.xo. And if you are feeling extra loving, leaving a review helps light up another beautiful soul and supports the growth of this space. 

My personal weblink:
https://links.theinnerpurity.com

Where I hangout the most to connect:
https://www.instagram.com/iammarisa.xo/

&

https://www.instagram.com/theinnerbeaconpodcast/

Don't forget to spread love like you would nutella. 

xoxo, M

Transcript

Welcome To Inner Beacon

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Inner Beacon. I am your host, Marisa. I'm a Canadian girl mama of two business owner, flight attendant, and a certified self-love coach. You are in the right place if you are ready to lead your life from within. To reconnect with your intuition, trust yourself deeply, and reclaim your power. My goal and intention here is to inspire and empower you. And for fun, I might even add some flight attendant content and travel tips. And I'm so glad you're here. So let's dive into today's episode. Healing from within. What does that statement truly mean? Because it is easy to say we are healing, but it's much harder to actually sit with parts of ourselves that still hurt. And a big part of that, one with that we often avoid, is forgiveness. That's what today's conversation is going to be about. If you're here, then it's probably for a reason, and I hope that something I say today truly moves you in some form, way, or shape. I just truly believe and have experienced it myself to note that we do have the power to heal ourselves, but oftentimes that means being really honest with ourselves, forgiving ourselves, as well as anyone involved in taking accountability for the roles that we play. And that takes courage sometimes, as well as plenty of grace. Healing within is not external validation. It doesn't mean a fixing of everything, and it's definitely not bypassing. What it is is awareness, feeling but not truly feeling, taking responsibility, releasing, and reconnecting with yourself. It means to finally stop looking outside of ourselves for something only we can give ourselves, taking on the awareness that we can only control our own actions. And part of that is taking your power back. It's also taking control of how much power you're giving the situation or others that where for that's where forgiveness takes place. Forgiveness is so misunderstood because it doesn't mean that you're giving what happened the okay that it happened or excuse the behavior of anyone involved. Not one bit does it mean that, but it is releasing the emotional weight and freeing yourself and choosing peace over holding on. Forgiveness isn't for them, it's for you. It means releasing resentment, letting go of emotional attachment and not carrying their actions in your in your body anymore. That's what can cause dis-ease in your body, just from holding on to that energetically. But also forgiving yourself of any guilt, regret, shame, or any I should have known betters. Because the truth is we were meant to go through it even if it you don't understand why yet. However, sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself. That's the truth. Avoiding forgiveness doesn't protect you, it actually keeps you tied to what hurt you. In other words, it's taking power over you. And that's why, as hard as it may be to sit with it, that resistance or pain avoidance needs to be heard and phased squarely. In my container, we focus on awareness of patterns and what's holding us back. It's about asking the right questions and doing the self-discovery necessary to then release the weight that you're carrying. We tend to get comfortable with pain and hurt and normalize it. It is what it is, that you know, the saying, and I'm here to remind you that the moment you realize what's actually causing the heaviness doesn't need to live in your body and learn to forgive and release, it is where you become free of it. Because guess what happens when you do this work? Emotional freedom comes from it, peace, clarity, self-trust, and overall a feeling of just being lighter. When you shift the perspective that you can finally receive and see things more clearly, when you release what you've been holding on to, you create space for who you're becoming. Unfortunately, there are a lot of wounded people out there, and what happens is hurt people hurt people, and the more aware of our own wounds and healing, you start to recognize this too. And note that their healing is not yours to take on and it isn't about you. That's something I truly had to learn too. The actions of others say more about where they are at. So before taking on or blaming yourself, take a deep breath and try to look outside of the situation. Ask what role you played and where it came from. Was it yours to begin with? What can you learn from the situation? Aim for growth always. Something I want to acknowledge here because I know someone listening might be thinking, okay, I hear you and maybe understand, but why is it still so hard? And the truth is, this work is emotional. You could understand forgiveness, accountability, and agree with everything that I'm saying, but until you actually feel it and allow yourself to move through it, it stays stored in your body. This is why many people feel like they are doing the work, quote unquote, but still feel stuck. Because awareness is just the first step. The real shift happens when you allow yourself to finally feel what you've been avoiding. Sit with what's uncomfortable and choose to release and release it instead of carrying it. And I won't lie to you, it takes courage, it takes being honest with yourself, it takes softness. Like I said before, it takes grace. But it also takes a decision, a decision that you won't, that you don't want to keep carrying this anymore. A decision to get out of burnout with the weight of the world and live from a place of clarity. And I've had to do this on my own, in my own life, more than once, sitting with things I didn't want to look at, taking accountability in the roles that I played, forgiving, even when I didn't feel ready. There were people who wanted to tear my light because of where they were in their life, and I had to create boundaries there, wish them the best from afar. Not everyone is good for us, even family or in-laws. We have to accept not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay. Let them and go where you are admired and appreciated. If you are listening and feeling connected to these words, the book Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins is a great book to help you navigate and shift your perspective even more deeper. I'm not an affiliate, by the way. I'm just speaking for my own recommendation, my own experience. The book is pretty great. But every time that I've shifted my perspective and moved through this perspective in my own life, it felt so much lighter on the other side. In my experience, the moment I let go and the hurt and done what I needed to for my own mental health, I've truly learned to trust myself. And the moment we do this, we also stop reacting from our past and start responding from healing in our becoming. Practical steps towards this, and for most is well, awareness, as I say always, but just asking, what am I holding on to? A simple thing to get you there faster is truly pausing and bringing your focus back inwards. You can do this by literally just closing your eyes and bringing your awareness away from the situation back into your body. If you are, if it is safe to do so right now, you can feel free to pause this and do this and just literally sit, like I said, close your eyes, focus on your breath, really, really try to take away any thoughts and and just really go within, recognizing each body part, telling it to relax again. Your breath anytime you think of something, just come back to your breath, stillness. And once you feel like rooted and grounded in that, then you can ask the right questions from a place of reflection. Allow the feelings to come up and ask what it wants you to know and learn from it. Speak it out loud, then you can see it from a different lens, which helps go into the release phase. It's a process, not a one-time decision. Healing is never linear and often is like an onion. We peel layers that bring on awareness of why we react in such and such way. It's a messy, sometimes but also so, so beautiful when we make it to the other side of forgiveness. This is actually a big part of the work I guide women through because awareness is powerful. But if we don't allow ourselves to release what we've been holding on to, then we just stay stuck. And that's why in my inner purity collective, I take women through this process awareness, release, and receive in a really supportive and intentional way. Because it's not about one moment of healing, these are tools and practices that you carry with you for life. Sometimes when nothing good is happening to you, it's because you are the good that's happening to others, and there's absolutely a reason for everything. So trust this process. If you've ever felt like you're out here doing your all, showing up for everybody, holding it together, being the strong one, and know your blessings are coming. The way you love, the way you protect, the way you pour into people. I see you and I know how much weight you are carrying. Stay solid in your character, but I give you full permission to release, forgive, and start taking your power back. Not only for you, but so you could be the best you and rebuild yourself from a version of you that's stronger, lighter, clearer, and places boundaries on who you give your power to. I know it gets heavy and at times unfair, but don't let that allow you to forget who you are. Because people like you don't just show up, you hold an in hold entire worlds together without anyone noticing. Your presence alone may be the calm in the storm, especially if you're able to own your power in the face of it all. For me, that's important because my daughters are watching, and kids learn 80% from what they see and only 20% from what they're being told. And that alone was reason enough for me to take it upon myself to take my power and continuously checking in with myself and keep always working on my relationship with myself to teach them to. So continue to be a light. There can't be one without the other. Darkness can't exist without, or sorry, light, a light can't the stars can't exist without darkness, right? But that starts with you. So if there's something you've been holding on to, whether it's towards someone else or yourself, you don't have to carry it forever. You are allowed to forgive, release, and move forward without the weight of your past with you. Because healing from within isn't about becoming someone new. It's about returning to who you are or were before the pain, the guilt, and stories that hold you started to hold you down. And if something in this episode spoke to you, just know that you don't have to do this alone. You can't live in alignment or truly receive when you are still carrying that weight, that hurt, and that version of you that no longer feels like you. So I'm giving you permission to go deeper and would love to invite you into my world. If there is any way I could help on your journey, I have a self-paced inner love century on school platform. And at the moment, I'm taking applications with five spots open. If you are interested in learning more about my inner purity collective, find me on Instagram at iamerisa.com. Link in the description and link in bio for more information as well. But I am on a mission to help more women awaken and take their power back and live from that empowerment. So feel free to share this episode, tag me and share anything if this if anything has spoken to you today. From my heart to yours, thank you for being here and hanging out. Thank you for spending this time with me here on the Inner Beacon. If you're not already following me, you can find me on Instagram at immarisa.xo. And if this episode resonates, spread the love like you would Nutella by sharing this podcast and tagging me so that I can personally thank you. And if you are feeling extra loving, leaving a review helps light up another beautiful soul and supports the growth of this space. I am so glad you're here. I'll meet you on the next episode.