The Moms Juggling the Most Are Often Hitting Their Best Performances. Coach Carly on Why.

Carly (@coach.carly on Instagram) has been coaching Ironman athletes for 12 years. She had the data, the experience, and the athletes who proved it was possible. Then she had her own babies, got cleared at six weeks, and thought: That is absolutely not happening. Everything she knew got tested in a way no coaching certification prepares you for.

What she discovered confirmed what she'd been seeing for years. The moms juggling the most, the least sleep, the tightest windows, the heaviest mental load, were often the ones hitting their best performances. Not despite everything on their plate. Because of it.

In this episode, Carly and Iris get into the specifics of how that actually works. The postpartum PR reframe that stops you from measuring yourself against who you were before. The ten-minute rule for when 'life is life-ing', as Carly calls it. The 2-Day Rule is just a gentle boundary that keeps momentum alive without punishment. Why doubling up missed workouts digs a fatigue hole you can't climb out of. And what athletic maturity really looks like, not in theory, but at 5 am after two solo weeks with a one and two-year-old.

 Carly doesn't just coach athletes. She coaches mothers back to themselves. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hi, um, and uh welcome everyone to um Strong Core Podcast. I am glad that you signed up again and to listen to the podcast this week. This week I have Coach Carly. Um, and as always, I will tag her in the show notes so you get to follow her and see all of her adventures and philosophy and her coaching business.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

So welcome, Carly. Thank you. I'm excited to be here, excited to chat with you.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Yes, I'm again I love that I follow people on Instagram and I kind of get to know them a little bit, and then they come live on the screen, and there's no difference. Like you can tell that they're not selling you something fake, and this is the same person, no filters, and and I just love uh that fact that there's consistency between what I see on Instagram and what comes up on the screen.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Um and also I'm I'm excited to get to know you in in person. So let's start like where we always start. Um tell me and the listeners a little bit about yourself. Uh, where are you from? Where do you reside? What is the family status? What is your coaching business about? And then we'll take it from there.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Okay, awesome. Um, so my name is Carly, and um my husband and I, we live in Michigan. So we live in northern Michigan, and we have two little kids. So we have a one and two year old, so life is crazy, to say the absolute least. Um, and then we're both coaches, so we both coach full-time, it's our full-time gig. Um, and we have been doing it for 12 years now, which is absolutely insane. I was just thinking about that the other day, and I was like, we've been coaching for 12 years, and um, a lot has changed from when we started to now, to say the least, and also just like how we coach in um in different things as well. Yeah, and through that, obviously have had kids and life has changed, and it just becomes more beautiful along the way as well. Um, so yeah, that's like the super quick.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Yes, I guess of you or you you belong to different practices.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Nope. So we own our own business. So we own organic coaching, and then um, yeah, so we coach together and then we have our own athletes essentially.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

So gotcha. And are you consulting with each other about athletes?

SPEAKER_00 2:20

So I think that's the beautiful thing of working close in that aspect. Uh it's not just us. So, like if there is something that stumps us, or you like you're like, I have this idea, or are you thinking about this the same way I'm thinking about this? It's really nice to have someone else to bounce ideas off of, to say the least, and just to get like a second set of eyes. It's funny, I remember after COVID and my first athlete racing an Iron Man again, I was like, it's been like two years, and I'm like, am I building this right? Like, it feels so foreign now. I haven't built an athlete up for a full Iron Man in a year and a half, two years. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

So I was I was one of those athletes. I wanted for my fifth big 50 birthday to do an Iron Man, and then Iron Man Maryland got canceled because of COVID. So we had to continue another year. So so curious to know. I usually don't ask about the partner, but since he's in the business of um triathlon, uh, did you meet in a race? Did you how did you meet?

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Nope. So we meant um, I was actually still in high school, right out of high school. Um, and we actually used to race dirt bikes. Um we meant racing dirt bikes, and I got really injured the year we got married. Um, and then we actually both also have degrees in exercise science. So he has his bachelor's in exercise science. I have my master's. Um, and as we were starting school, so right like those first couple years, you're just getting your basics. We weren't totally sure what we wanted to do yet. Um, but we started doing five Ks essentially. And so we did motorcycle racing into like five Ks, and then we learned about triathlon and we learned about Iron Man, and so then we've really we've been on the journey together since the beginning. So we did our first Iron Man together um and all of that. So it's been really fun.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

How did you hear about triathlon and Iron Man?

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Um, it's one of those things I'm gonna say, it's really I'll say clu cliche. Um, really is just like Iron Man from like watching the Iron Man World Championships on TV. Yeah, so you're like, hmm. Um, and then actually my husband worked in a bike shop and I went in to take him dinner one day, and there was a beautiful tri-bike, and it was like the high-end women's tri-bike at the time. And we were doing like sprints, maybe we've done an Olympic, and I was like, I need that in my life. So he surprised me, he got it for me, and then I got it, and I was like, I have to do an Iron Man because I have now this super expensive tri bike. And literally, it was the pressure of like, I have this bike, I have to do it justice. Um, so then that was our journey into I think then the following year, um, I did my first Olymp. No, I don't think I'd even done Olympic link because I did my first Olympic link, my first 70.3, and my first Iron Man on the same year.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

So So how many years are you a tr a triathlet?

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Um so about 15, 15, 16 about? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

So you started when you were four, it sounds like it's something like was in my early 20s for sure. So okay, so it's clear, so I I it's almost always that the audience that I'm interviewing, the per the participants, is either were athletes before and then came back to it, or um non-athlete and then needed something for themselves, usually because motherhood uh took so much out of them and they found some and I'm always interested to find to find out how they found out to athlete on an Ironman, and they became athlete after. For you, it sounds like you were athlete before.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Then came motherhood. Um was there any is someone so active and having a business of coaching? Um athletes, was there any uh questions or or doubts about should we become parents, would it interfere with the business and with racing, or you knew that this would come?

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Yeah, that's a really good question. So my husband and I were also married a very long time before we had kids. I we got married as children. I was 19 when we got married, so we waited 12 years to have kids. And I think the funniest story is the year that there was Iron Man Alaska, yeah, we'd been married 10, 11 years at that point, and I literally looked at him one day and was like, I'm either signing up for Iron Man Alaska or I think we should have a baby. And so he was like slightly blindsided by that and was like, okay. So that was kind of like where the journey started of like, okay, it's like it just felt time to have kids. Um, but then it's really interesting, like working with moms over the years, and then going through that journey myself. Um, two different things. One being like, wow, these women are absolutely amazing. The amount of training I was giving them or g give them, gave them. Um, well being a mom, well training for this races, uh was a whole other level of um um what is the word I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Um I was really sending an insights into what really takes.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah, yeah, like mind blown. Um and then when I actually became a mom myself, like the journey returning back to sport was much harder than I thought it was going to be. Much harder. And like being a rel like a I'll say a high-level athlete, like I've qualified for Kona twice, lots of podiums, all of those things. So like being pretty in tune with my body. And then I'm like, what is happening? Like you're cleared at six weeks, and I was like, all right, I'm ready to get back to it. And I'm like, that is not happening. So like those are the two things.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

So what changed? Are you giving uh different workouts to moms? Are you building differently once they return from um maternity leave? Um, what shifty shifting the philosophy?

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Yeah, so definitely shifted my philosophy on um moms and how they train. And before I think I was definitely giving um a lot of women way too much, way too much essentially stress on their body. Um, we already have stress. I tell athletes all the time, like your body doesn't know the difference between stress from work, kids, um, all of these outside factors and stress from exercise, whether you just did a hard run, a hard bike, it whatever. The body doesn't know the difference. And so um now I take all of that outside stress much more into account um when building workouts for um for moms and that just that season of life essentially. Um I I fully understand that now, to say the least.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Um I said it in another interview on on the podcast um that I came to realize that stress is stress, the body doesn't differentiate if it's physical or cognitive. Um, and you and I chatted a little bit before about which Iron Man's I did, and I told you um about my story about Lake Placid. I think one of the things I learned, and I didn't know that, is even the journey of becoming a PhD, it was so stressful. There was so much work and cognitive load that I did not know how much it took away. I just thought I'm training physically, that's why I'm tired. And you know, when it's year over year over year, it accumulates and it takes, and when you have a baby after a baby, it takes a lot. So I agree with you.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Yeah, and the body can only can only handle so much stress at it. And so um, yeah, now that I I fully grasp that, uh, it definitely I'm just much more cautious. And like when an athlete, um, if right, if it's a one-off and they're like, I'm really tired today, I didn't sleep well last night, perfect. But when you start to see those and you're like, okay, we're getting we're starting to stack these a little bit more, then it's like, okay, tell me more of what's going on, let's back off, let's adjust, let's actually recover um before we build again.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

So yeah, and and uh in my last episode, um speaking actually from an athlete um also from Michigan, she was saying when she was not taking enough time for recovery and eating, she was always injured. And so that's another sign, I guess, for the listeners. If you're always injured, I'm not saying that's the only, you know, root cause uh that you're not recovering and eating, something else might be going on. We're not doctors, obviously, but pay attention.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

The body gives you the sign, and sometimes Yeah, but sometimes it's hindsight where you're like, oh, I see that now. We have to zoom out, and then you're like, okay, I'm I'm seeing the big picture.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

So yeah, and then you're an athlete. If I'm one of your athletes and trained before I had kids, and I'm used to a certain load and working hard and number of hours, and I'm coming back, maybe even a year or two after having babies, and I'm start gently questioning you as a coach, why are you not giving me as much um, you know, mileage or as intense workouts? Do uh do do you see that maybe coming for moms? And if you do, how do you help them understand that intensity is not necessarily what they what they need?

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Yeah, absolutely. So that's a great great question. And it's one of those things um where you have to, it's really hard not to compare yourself to um, I'll say like your your past self, and you're in a completely different stage of life now. Um, and so actually one athlete that we have, um, it is kind of like reframing it a little bit into like this is like a whole new like postpartum PR essentially of like, okay, we're not gonna worry about like past PRs, but kind of that first season back, especially if it's relevant within that like first year, maybe two, um, of being like, okay, we're just like reestablishing like kind of our baseline essentially. And like, yes, I have no doubt women and moms are so strong, and you will most likely be right back to the PRs that you were, but like let's just focus on some postpartum PRs and um and just consistency. Like, if we're not able to hit consistency, then we can't stack in volume and intensity unless we're being consistent and hitting those baseline essentially. Um I'm like, okay, once we're doing that, yeah, we can add in the I call it the fun stuff. We can add in the intensity, we can add in those hard days. Yeah. But we have to be consistent and get that down first before we can stack onto it.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Absolutely. And for the listeners, if you have a moment to check Cali's um Instagram page, which again I'll put in the show notes, uh, I one of the posts that I love, I think it's the first one actually that is pinned, is you explain your philosophy about um about training and and some of what you just covered is there, plus a couple of other things about having plan B and paying attention to recovery. But I I really love that you help them reset and mentally not go back to two years ago and just know that they're in a different state, and that they can that actually will lead us to the next question. Another post that I love um is that you're saying I actually see in moms, including myself, uh you are writing this, not not me saying it, that you see mothers actually achieving their peak performance as mothers. So tell us a little bit about what you noticed about yourself um post-babies, and what you've seen. I mean, maybe we'll start with you and then we'll talk maybe on athletes, what you're seeing them and what gets them to the peak performance as mothers.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Yeah. Um like I'm just gonna say, like, you go through childbirth. Like you grow a child, you birth a child, however that, right, doesn't matter, um, C-section, whatever. You go through all of that. And I think uh for a lot of women, like you just realize you're capable of so much more. And like that was for me where I'm like, okay, this is like a whole other level. And then also like your time becomes very sacred. So it's like, how can I train super smart with the time I have available? Um, and it's more so of like, here's the plan, we get in, we get out, we get the work done, and we can go on with our day. And like between those two things of like this whole new level of like, I can do really hard things and I know I can, and just being like in, out, get the work done, don't question like you know what, you don't have time to let your brain question what's going on. Yeah. Um, and so um I think honestly, between like those two factors, like for me personally, is like, okay, um, it just kind of sits to that next level of of being an athlete, essentially.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

So you're saying moms are achieving their peak performance as mother athletes because of realizing what their body can do, and because the time is so limited that there's no negotiation with themselves, they just do it and continue with uh, and that's why they're achieving the the consistency, if you will.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Um, yeah, I think like honestly, those are like the two biggest things that that I have seen in myself and the yeah, with athletes.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

So and I saw that you are an early morning trainer.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

You are the alarm is set for 5 a.m. almost every day. And so my kids are, I will say I'm thankful they are great sleepers. They sleep till seven. So I'm like, I have two hours, and I'm pretty I'm a person that like I can get up and be exercising within like 10-15 minutes. I don't need a lot of time. So like that alarm goes off, and I'm starting my workout really quick. Um, it gives me a little time. Basically, I'm like, yeah, I have two hours in the morning to do whatever I need to do. Sometimes it's can be pretty much all dedicated to training, right? Sometimes life, I'm like, wow, I need to clean up the kitchen and do laundry also during this time. Um, so yeah, I'm like those two hours in the morning are so sacred. And like as training gets longer, um, I'm such an early morning person. Like if it's a 4 a.m. alarm, sometimes I will take it. That is my time. Um and I So how do you protect the sleep? Because when do you go to sleep? Sometimes I like if I know my alarm has to be uh, first off, I'll say like 9 a.m. or 9 p.m. Like very rarely am I going to bed past 9 p.m. Okay. I'd rather get up early and have to do stuff than do stuff late at night. Um so yeah, I'm just an early riser. So going to bed at a decent time pans down. Like I don't know the last time I was up past 10. We'll put it that way. So yeah, and like if it's like, hey, and I'm getting up for an early or long ride um or a long run, so you know it's like more of a 4 a.m. Then I'm like, okay, I'm starting to wind down when my kids go to bed. Um and I'm I'm winding down shortly after them as well.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Uh so that's so how does it work in the build phase where you have to go out for six hours or maybe maybe go to the basement? So uh how how how do you split it with your husband that you can't train together because someone has to watch the kids, I assume.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Yep, so that's a good question. So for my husband and I, we typically will like each one of us will have um basically like a season. Like this season is about you. Like you are the priority this season. So I've been pregnant or having babies or little kids the last two, three years. So they have been more seasons about my husband. So this year I was like, this season is about me. And he was like, Yes, the season is about you. Um, so that's one way where the other person will still train and do races and that sort of thing. But the priority is like, hey, you know, one or the other, because um, yeah, otherwise it's a lot. Um and we don't live like close by to grandparents or anything like that, where you can be like, hey, can you watch the kids a little bit here and there? Um so for us, one of us kind of gets a season more or less. Um, and so yeah, when the rides get even longer, there's only so you can only wake up so early. Yeah. And so yeah, like I still get up early, still get on my bike. Um most of it is gonna be trainer rides for the long stuff, um, or at least starting on the trainer, maybe taking it outside a little bit. Um, but then my husband will get the kids up, get them breakfast, get them ready to go for the day. Um, and then when I'm done, then we'll do whatever it is as a family for the day.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

It it sounds like from very early age as an athlete, you're very consistent and you're hitting your workouts, you talk about this even before, but m even more so as a mother after. What happens on days where you just can't, one of the kids is sick? Um, I'm really interested to understand the what, what goes on in in the head. So, what goes on in your head in days that that are difficult? That you're is it guilt? Are you feeling like I I'm a coach, I should be the model, uh, and you know, to my um to the people that I that I coach, and here I am missing a few free workouts, or what what what goes in your head?

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Maybe there's no that's a that's a great question. So um when life be lifing, because it happens, I have um I have a personal rule where I try not to skip two days in a row. Okay so if there's like all the lemons are being thrown your way and your kids are sick, X, Y, and Z, you're just like, wow, that is like not happening today. Um try not to skip two days in a row. So um if on that third day it's like, hey, I just need to do 10 minutes, it's just gonna be 10 minutes. I'm gonna literally hop on my trainer for 10 minutes before the kids get up, during their nap, whatever it is, like that is something. Um and I think it's something that a lot of people will be like, well, it's only 10 minutes, what's the point? But that builds consistency in your schedule. So no more than two days, obviously, unless you're like sick or injured, one of those, like this is just about when life be lifing. Um, so those little bits of and pockets of time, or it's like, hey, I had a 60-minute run on my schedule, and um we're still in northern Michigan, it's still super snowy, it's still super icy. We just got 30 inches of snow last week. And so um it's like, hey, I like it's just not feasible. So um then it's like, okay, I'm gonna do 30 minutes because I can handle 30 minutes and it's like time frame in this day. So shortening is like always plan B of like, what what are we shortening? How can we still get in like the meat and potatoes, the bulk of the work? Um, and maybe let's say you have like three, um, like three by whatever set or like intervals, you're like, okay, I'm gonna do one of those instead of all three, and that sort of thing. So like for me, it's all about consistency and like shortening things way up. Like, I'm not afraid of 10, 15, 20 minutes, even if it was supposed to be 60 minutes, 75 minutes, 90 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

Um that is like the mindset of plan B, which I also saw in kind of your guiding principle post. Yeah, is uh one of the things that shocked me most in in my study, uh, as part of my my doctorate degree on on iron moms. It's so simple that you will say, What for that you do a PhD? No, not for that, but that's one of the things that came up. I was studying mothers who self-scored high on guilt and trying to understand if those mothers who feel guilty about training are still able to persist. It's not just, you know, did one five years ago and continue to do Iron Man.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

What is going on in their head? And that simple I they didn't call it plan B, I might start using this, but this mindset of some. Is better than nothing, even 10 minutes, it blew my mind. Because and maybe you can tell us if you have athletes like this that you need to explain it to them. Because for me, it was like if I don't get the satisfaction of the green dot on the app, I don't want to see I don't want to see the orange. What's the point? I don't want to see the orange. I don't want to overdo it, right? And I don't want to underdo it. So I'd rather not do it at all and I'll say I'll do it tomorrow. Well, life is life thing and tomorrow doesn't happen. And now I'm upset with myself. I feel guilty because I missed two workouts, right? And so I I'm gonna tell tell the listeners and you something that I'm experimenting with myself right now about something is better than nothing. But this mindset is so simple and such a shift for I think for moms that when it if you're like me, that you'd only do it if it's green, you're doing it wrong. And and I and I change, by the way. Uh, but do you have athletes who you'll tell them that and they'll push back and say, no, no, no, I either I'll put the hour on or it's not worth running 10 minutes?

SPEAKER_00 23:04

Yeah, absolutely. And endurance sports, Iron Man 70.3, triathlon in general, tends to pull very type A personalities. Um, not everyone, obviously, but that's just like it just tends to naturally pull that type of person. And so it's really, really hard, me included. I like to see green. And if it is not green, it's really hard sometimes. Um, so like for certain, like for some athletes, I'll be like, hey, it's like I will go in and like change on the back end of things to be like, make sure it's green. You still got in like a decent amount of work today. We're gonna update that so it's still green, you still feel like you accomplished that. Um, and and then we can move on. And what you said is like very common where we miss a day, um, work ran late, kids are sick, whatever it is. And then we're like, okay, I'm just gonna do that tomorrow. I'll do that run and that swim tomorrow. And that's when we start to get into trouble. Yes, once in a while we can double up and that sort of thing. But then when we're constantly shifting and doubling up, is when I say we do we dig a really deep fatigue hole and we can't crawl out of it, and that's when trouble starts to happen. Um, so that's where I'm like, I'd rather you shorten and do what you have time for, and then we just pick up tomorrow where we left off, um, is what I what I try to do myself and what I um recommend to my athletes as well.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

Okay. And for the listeners, uh, I'm I'm sure there is amazing experienced moms that it will be obvious for them. But those maybe who are starting with triathlon or maybe thinking about getting into the longer distance, one of the things that I learned um is that you can actually a way to deal with this is actually to cut the fluff, if you will, of the warm-up and the cool down and just kind of definitely still warm up and cool down, but uh focus on the main set, right? And maybe you don't need 15 minutes or 20 minutes to cool down, maybe you can do five. Many of the listeners know that I talk about grit and what is grit and what's the difference between mental toughness and grit and resilience. They're not the same. I want to uh double-click on grit for a second. Grit, according to Angela Duckworth, is passion and perseverance for long-term goal. I think we talked quite a bit about the consistency. I'll call it the perseverance. It's almost like an autopilot, you wake up, or you're at the end of the day, or in the middle of the day, it doesn't matter, but you just do. I want to talk a little bit about the passion before I talk about your athletes. What about you? What is your passion about doing Iron Man? And and I'm gonna add on to that. I keep asking in each of the interviews because I'm really curious about this. Some people might say, you've done a bunch, you've you've competed for like 15 years. Why keep doing it? Why are you getting out of it?

SPEAKER_00 25:49

That's a another great question. And I'm like, where to go with that question? Um, and it's almost one of those things that goes back to just perseverance of like, it's just I very much enjoy the training aspect of things. And like the race is just the cherry on the cake. Um, and I I truly love like the process of training. Like that is my favorite thing. Um, and so that's what keeps me coming back. And then the fact of like you learn so much every time you race, every season that you're building, you're like, okay. And sometimes you're I I tell athletes all the time, sometimes you're relearning things that you already learned a few years ago. Um, but you're relearning them. And so that alone of just um I love the process. I love the journey of like continuing to try to better yourself. And it doesn't necessarily have to be time. Like that's one thing I think a lot of us, we're always thinking about this time. Um, I want to be this fast, or I want to place in you know the podium or whatever that is. Um, and it doesn't have to be those things, it can be something completely different of like, um, I'm crossing the my goal is gonna be to cross the finish line with a smile on my face and enjoy the race day. Um, so those are kind of the things that keep me coming back. And then I'll say like a fun thing too is I I do love to travel. My husband and I love to travel. And so, like very rarely do we repeat races. And so it's fun. We kind of look at the calendar and we're like, oh, I I want to go here. So like it's a great excuse to go travel. Um, in pre-kids, like that's we traveled all over the world for races. Um, and so that was another reason of like just a little bit fun of like, hey, yeah to go over all over the world and get to experience races in those areas. So that's just kind of like the fun, um, again, cherry on top.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Out of joy in the process, which is a paradox. I talked about it in other interviews um with other participants. For someone from the outside, it's it's a paradox. How can joy in the could coexist with the suffering of the training, of the early mornings, of that paradox is very hard for people to understand, I guess not for Iron Man themselves, but for the people from the outside. But the joy is consistently coming up. And and the other thing is um that I heard that you said, and that's why I called this podcast Strong Core. I was literally have list, I documented it because I said, What well maybe one day someone will ask me one what other names you consider, but I got to Strong Core that wasn't taken to my surprise, because I had many other names, which is this is about exactly about that taking off, if you if you will, all your layers and it's kind of knowing to the core who you are, and that's why I called it Strong Core. I felt I was mom before I was an Iron Man, and I learned how much more I can do after having four boys and an Iron Man. And I remember there were moments where I was like, I'm not doing this PhD anymore, I can't do this. It's it's very hard. And I I'm giving up and and immediately the second thought was like, girl, you did an Iron Man, sit your ass. You can do this. I'm sure I did. Like, and and that's why um I call this podcast core a strong core, because I feel like through this journey and the joy and also the suffering, we learn what we're made of, what what's the our core identity? Um now your athletes, I'm curious to know, you probably ask them what's your why? Why are you doing this? What are some of the things that you're hearing why moms are interested in doing Iron Man?

SPEAKER_00 29:38

I think for a lot of the athletes that I work with, and like especially moms, it's the like most common one would be like to be healthy for my kids, to show my kids commitment, um, and like going through a process and like I can't quit because they know I'm training for this. Like, um, so that's like most common of like, you know, just overall like health, wellness, well-being. Um, and we have to fill into our cups. And so just having that like consistent this for training, it's a lot of um the only time that we get to go do this, like my little bubble of me time. Um, so that fills our cup, so then you can fill everyone else's cups and everything else that needs to happen. Um, and so I think that's like a common um, a common thread. And then like I know even for myself now, my oldest is almost three, and especially like in the summer, I cannot put on running shoes. Like, she knows what my running clothes look like. So excited. Like, she's been running in the stroller with me. So in the summer, typically I'll do my runs um with the stroller with them, and she like knows and she gets so, so excited, and she's like ready to go for a run. Um, and so like those are like the things where you're like, okay, I'm like setting those examples also of just like general health, well-being, taking care of yourself, being active, um, and and still enjoying it and making it fun. And um, so yeah, those are kind of that would be part of my why as well. But yeah, it's typically just very much around that's what you're hearing from last week.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

And it aligns with what I found. I I asked 350 women um to answer why. Why are you doing this? And it doesn't mean what the percentage I'm gonna give now, it's excluding. You can have two reasons. You can do it for uh personal challenge and for health, right? So you have to double count, if you will, the reasons. But the number one reason I found was that about 66% was personal challenge. So I guess it's already drawing the Iron Man training, drawing women who want a personal challenge. But uh underneath it was about 46% were role modeling for the kids that consistently came up, and then below it was me time. I wanted time for myself, I wanted to differentiate from being the wife of or the mother of to just being an Iron Man, like this identity. And so so identity, but also me time, sep separate, like quiet time, clean my head, come back to fill the cup, and and then uh longevity, health. Now I'm curious to and I'm not comparing who has it harder dads or moms, those who don't have kids or not, but do you find different reasons for why dads or athletes without kids, what's their why? Obviously, there's no the reason of being a role model. So what is the why of athletes who don't have kids? Why are they doing Iron Man?

SPEAKER_00 32:38

Yeah, I think that it basically what you said is like that personal challenge um is like probab well it you said, right? It's like the number one. So I think um yeah, that personal challenge, going for something hard, like it's a it's a big commitment and it's a um typically athletes will change for right about a year, especially if it's your first Iron Man, around a year to get ready for that. And it's all involving for that year, and so it's a a great personal challenge. So yeah, I would say like that, and just like trying something new. And I I typically say there's like two types of athletes, um, and there's your bucket listers, and it's also like it's a huge thing to check off that bucket list. Um, so you have bucket list athletes and like lifestyle athletes. Yes, and we have a lot of our bucket list athletes that transition to lifestyle athletes. Um, so that personal challenge, um, and then going into like okay, the health, the longevity. I just enjoy the part of my life.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

So absolutely. Um, which of the three disciplines um you feel you're happy?

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Man, so I grew up swimming. So I was a swimmer, so I know we are chatting a little bit beforehand. You're like, swim is my best, and like need to grow up a swimmer. Um, but it's interesting. I love being on my bike, and I do mostly now all trainer hiding, but I love it. You can just kind of zone out, you can do the work, totally okay with that. I it goes through seasons and ups and downs, but then I also enjoy running when we're can finally like comfortably run outside and it's great, and you get to, you know, all the beautiful things about running outside. Um, so it kind of depends a little bit. I enjoy all three for different different reasons, but um, probably I would say like if I could only pick one, it would be the bike.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

Um so do you listen to music or watch TV when you run a bike?

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yeah, so I listen to a lot of podcasts. Usually I also call that my me time of like what do I want to learn about? And so lots of podcasts. And then of course, sometimes you just need a good, light-hearted show or movie or whatever. But yeah, a lot of podcasts would be most common right now.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

Very cool. Very cool. I I don't want to portray to the listeners that everything is under control, consistent, executed well. I want to hear a little bit about the times that things don't go well when you need to negotiate with yourself. So the question I have for you is can you take me to a time where things was hard. You just didn't want to do it. You didn't want to do the training, you didn't feel like it, and you had to negotiate a little bit with yourself. And what did you say to yourself to finally?

SPEAKER_00 35:19

Yeah, no, I it happens to everyone. Everyone, to say the least. So I mean, we'll just go as simple as last week. I was um I was solo with the kids for us almost two weeks, and that's for any parent, you're like, wow, that's a lot, without like bedtimes and wakeups and all of that. And so it was, I told you I don't last time I went to bed at like 10 o'clock. Well, it was actually last week, now that I think about it, because everything else had to happen. So um it was later nights, still early mornings. Um, and there were many mornings last week um that I'm like, okay, that alarm goes off. And you're like, literally the last thing I want to do is wake up right now. Like I am so tired. So tired. Um, and so there are times where like you need to sleep. And so um, I did sleep in, uh, my alarm went off, and I was like, it is literally not happening happening today. You slept. I slept. And so I'm like, okay, we are sleeping in today. We are literally waking up when the kids wake up today. And then that's where I'm like, I I just suggested, right? So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna take today as my rest day. We're just going to shift things around. It was early in the week. Um, so we're essentially just gonna shift everything a little bit, totally fine. Um, and and those are the things where it's like you we all lay in bed and we're like, okay, we do that like mental math of like, if I do this here and that there and all of this stuff. Um so yeah, the that was like we're we're adjusting, we're sleeping, and we sleep is equally as important as training some days. Um, and there was an extra rest day last week because that what we had talked about right now. There was a lot going on, so we get the outside stress and everything adds up, and it was just a hectic week. Um, and that's totally okay. Like life happens and um something is better than nothing, just like we talked about, and some things got shortened last week, moved rest days, and um, we're still here to talk about it, and everything's fine.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

Yeah, and I also think that we've talked about role modeling and how important it is for many parents um who are engaging with endurance sport to role model. Maybe not when the kids are almost three and one, but as they grow up and you can verbalize, today I slept in, I felt like I needed that. The kids are watching, they're learning. That's also role modeling, you know, learning to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself is not just massage and manicure, you know, it's sometimes sleeping in and saying, Today I needed to to listen to my body. The kids also learn that.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

Um I love this example. Yeah, and as a as a coach, I call that athletic maturity. And it's something that it's really hard, right? For a lot of us to know when to push, when to pull back, that all or nothing mindset that we've talked about. Um, and it's athletic maturity to grow into that and and really know, like, okay, I I really need to rest today, and it's totally okay. Like, yeah, we're gonna be all right. Um, and so the more reps you have at that, and the more you you practice that essentially, I feel like the better you get at it. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:36

So so just to continue and finish maybe the thread of role modeling, because it's so important for so many parents. Um what are you hoping that your kids are taking away um from watching queue? I know they're young right now, but what what are you hoping that they're taking away?

SPEAKER_00 38:51

I uh it's the that's really interesting. I hope that they enjoy fitness and whatever that looks like to them. Um, and like obviously most kids enjoy sports, but as they see my husband and I just training and enjoying it, and um that they they see that what am I trying to say that they see that you can enjoy fitness.

SPEAKER_02 39:17

It's not a chore.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Yes, yes, basically, yes. Um, and and take that along with them, um, past, you know, school sports and all of that stuff as well. Um, just for longevity and overall health and well-being. And um in that I would say like that is one of the number one things that I hope that they kind of see and can look back on and be like, my parents are crazy. But they did teach me um these things. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

Um for moms who are considering entering the sport of Tarathlon or maybe already doing sprint and uh Olympic and would like to go into the more longer distances, but maybe are scared, uh, they don't think they have the time. What would be an advice you would give them?

SPEAKER_00 40:09

I would say you can do it. And if there's a will, there's a way. Um, I truly believe that. If there's a will, there's a way, and your training might not look cookie-cutter or quote unquote like a normal training week, block gear, whatever we're talking about. Um, and it might be different where maybe a long run and a long bike in the same week just isn't feasible. There's ways around that, and it might look training might look different, but if there's a will, there's a way. And I truly believe that.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

There's something before we started recording that you and I chatted, and I just remembered um the difference between doing a half and a fool. You said, you know what? Sometimes doing the half and committing that this is what I'm going to do this season is the visible, uh, sensible approach. Do you see athletes who have done Iron Man um being attracted more to continue and do the Iron Man and not kind of feeling that half is is good enough, or people are able to smoothly transition between the distances?

SPEAKER_00 41:12

Yeah, I think it goes kind of both ways. Um, some people write like you um, it's like only the Iron Man, like it is the holy grail of the distances. And I've worked with many athletes, a few moms in particular, that come to mind that they literally only do full Iron Man's. One, sometimes twice a year, two Iron Man's a year is a lot on the body. So like one Iron Man a year, and like that's pretty much it. Um, and then the 70.3 distance is just it's so manageable, it's a really manageable, fun distance. Um so we have some athletes that will do the Iron Man, they're like, got it, kind of like I said, like check that off the list. And I really like 70.3s. It again, it's fun, it's manageable. You still get the vibe, the experience, all of the things. Um, but yeah, I think it goes both ways. And some athletes obviously can very easily jump back and forth between the two. Um, so I think it it really comes down to in my when I'm chatting with an athlete on like what their season is gonna look like, and then even for me too, personally, like um, how much time can I dedicate to this? And so um looking at that and being like, okay, maybe this is the season for 70.3s, that's like the the time and dedication I can put towards that right now, um, versus uh Iron Man as a whole than a beast.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

Yeah. So so you're helping your athletes kind of plan the season based on their season of of life and not necessarily Yeah, absolutely. Um I think that being a coach is putting you in such a unique uh perspective to see kind of the the meta of what's happening um um across. Do you think that moms are able to transfer the skills of self-compassion, you know, comforting their kids, helping them get through hurdles and difficult situations and bounce back? Are they able to take the same skills? I can call it self-compassion, you can call it resilience, and bring it into their own uh athlete um identity or more than it's hard.

SPEAKER_00 43:19

We are very hard on ourselves. And so what you would say to someone else or your children, right, if something didn't go as planned, or they didn't, you know, if your kids are in sports and you know, they didn't whatever, they didn't get the basket and they're super upset about it, you would sue them, be like, it's okay, literally, everything's fine. And then we take that to ourselves, and you're like, Okay, I had a run and I wasn't able to hit any of the paces, and I'm just like devastated. We're so hard on ourselves, and um to simply answer your question, I'm gonna say no, we're just so hard on ourselves, it's really hard to take that. That same um encouragement or whatever to themselves. It's it's really hard.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

So yeah, so that's where I think I think it's one of the things I found in Iron Moms that's able to persist is the self-compassion. But by the way, it could look like today I'm gonna sleep in. You can sleep in and you're still showing up. And so I that's one of the things. Um that after talking to my coach, and she brought it up, uh, how critical it is to use self-compassion. But it sounds like, and I I would agree with you, this is not a skill that is easy to translate and bring into your athlete, yeah. Um, but could be helpful if you do. If you borrow those skills and bring them, it could be very helpful for you.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

As I think I'm gonna take with that one step further now that I'm thinking about it a little bit more. And I also think it depends on the experience you have as an athlete. Um, so thinking about our athletes that have been in the sport for five, six, ten years, they're much easier. They're more able to be like, that was a just thinking about like workouts in particular. Like, that was a bad workout. It sucked from beginning to end, nothing went right. No big deal. I'll be back at it tomorrow. Where if this is like your first season, your first race, that is much more devastating and harder to get over, if that makes sense. And to like see like zooming out, like one bad workout does not make or break anything. Um, so the more reps that you have at that, and the more just experience you have in the sport, I think it is easier to have that self-compassion and be like, it's it's I'm okay, it's okay. Um, talk positively to yourself um versus if you're newer to the sport, everything feels a little bit more make or break when um, and actually I worked with one athlete, gosh, many, many years ago. Um, and she trained for her first triathlon ever was an Iron Man. Um, and then she did wonderful, she did amazing. And then I always say it gets more fun the more seasons you work with an athlete. And then going into the second season, she's like, I understand now that not everything has to be perfect. And she's like, I'm excited to have more balance in my life in this next season. She's like, I know if I miss a day here or there, it's not gonna make or break anything. And same thing with those workouts that just don't go to plan. So I think experience in the sport also plays into that.

SPEAKER_02 46:22

Yeah, absolutely. And you did talk about even how you the joy you're getting out of competing for so many years is what you're learning from each season in each race. Yeah, yeah. All right, so now let's do the rapid fire. Rapid fire is quick questions, whatever comes to your mind, you know, one word or or a sentence. And if you don't have the answer, that's fine. We can just pass. So let's start easy. Wetsuit on or off? Off, no wetsuit. Oh no. The swimmers will always say that. I am agree with you. Almost always, uh, Eagle Man and is uh there's jellyfish, but it's also wetsuit optional, and you're like, but I I prefer not to overheat and get jellyfish uh stinks than get overheat because I think that will actually end my race.

SPEAKER_00 47:09

Yeah, yeah, I'm with you.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

Okay. Um last time you cried on Iran.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Oh gosh, that's happened so many times, but not in a while. Probably like pre-babies, but it used to happen very frequently.

SPEAKER_02 47:25

One word that describe you as a coach. Um, I'm gonna say like compassionate comes to mind first. Okay. One word that describes you as a mom. Fun. And one word that describes you as an athlete. Determined. What kind of workout you never skip no matter what?

SPEAKER_00 47:52

Um I think strength work, it's really gets pushed aside, but it's something that's super important. So I'm gonna say strength.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

Yes. Um, what would your pre-mom self think about who you are right now?

SPEAKER_00 48:09

I would say she thinks it's pretty cool. Um, and I would say proud of how just how life has unfolded. Um, and that just keeps getting more beautiful. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 48:24

Coach Carly, it's been a pleasure getting to spend with you the last uh almost hour and uh getting to know you and getting to know how you think about your um the people that you coach and also how you think about your family and yourself. And I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to speak with me today.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

Yeah, thank you so much. It's been a blast chatting with you. Um, and really, really glad we did this.

SPEAKER_02 48:46

Yes. And again, like I mentioned, the beginning of the conversation, I will put in the show notes um Coach Carly's page so you can follow her mantra and coaching philosophy and a couple of other fun um adventures that she and her husband are doing. Thank you for listening in, and we'll be back uh next week with another episode.