Jennifer Sylva: She Let Go of First Place to Finally Earn It

 Eight years ago, Jennifer Sylva (@jensylva) stood at the start of a sprint triathlon in downtown Jacksonville with no swim training and a genuine belief that anyone who runs more than three miles during their lunch break is a little bit silly. In May 2026, she crossed the finish line of Ironman Jacksonville as the overall women's champion. 

But her story is not a straight line from there to here.

It runs through years of bulimia she kept secret from everyone around her, through a divorce, through panic attacks in the middle of a masters swim practice, through a DNF at Challenge Roth, and through finishing second. Again and again and again.

What finally broke the pattern was not perfect training. She kept "break the tape" on her vision board all year. On race day, she trusted the goal enough to stop thinking about it. 

Jennifer and I talk about what it actually takes to stay present when you have the win in sight, what it looked like to coach herself through an Ironman build after her husband and coach was no longer in that role, and when she thinks DNF is the right call and why she refuses to call it failure. 

We also talk about what it looks like to train for Ironman as a working mom of three boys, and why Jennifer believes that every time she walks out the door to train, she is teaching them how to become men. 

If you are carrying something behind your perfect profile picture, this episode is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hi everyone and welcome to Strong Core. Today's guest is Jennifer Silva. I am following Jennifer for a while, but recently, which was actually a week ago, Jennifer won Iron Man Jacksonville, which is unbelievable. And in one of the comments, Becky, thank you, shout out to Becky. She said, You need to interview her. And I said, It would be an honor. So I sent Jennifer a DM and she immediately replied and said, Yes, I will. So thank you so much for being with us today.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

Thank you. It's great to be here. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Jennifer is a mom of three boys. She is a manager in talent development in her role, working full-time. And maybe we'll talk a little bit about what it what does it mean to be working in the space of leadership and talent development. But her story is not just going to be all about the winning and the podium and the success. If you follow closely her post, you will see that there's a lot of reflection about the failures or the things that didn't go as she wanted on Kona, on Challenge Roth, or in other courses. So we're going to hear a little bit about this today and what she learned from it because I think the key from what I see in Jennifer is what she's taking away from failures as a learning opportunity and not just as something that defines her. I would say that it's a long opening, but I'm super excited because Jennifer is exactly the type of woman I'm looking for this podcast. You would think that someone who won multiple times or was at the top five at the Iron Man competitions will be an athlete from a childhood, a D1 collegiate athlete, and continuing to train throughout their life and through motherhood. And that's not the story we're going to hear today. This is from someone who was completely gone and was taken, you know, by other roles as a mother, employee, wife, etc., and then found themselves again and integrated this kind of identity, motherhood and athleticism into who she is today. The very impressive woman. So with that, welcome, Jen. And um my first question to you is uh when someone asks you what you do, what do you actually say?

SPEAKER_03 2:20

I mean, I think the the main part of who I am is a mother. So I that is my focus of my life is taking care of those three boys and and trying to grow them into strong men. And then from there, I do work full-time. I have been in the leadership and development space for I think about 16 years or so. And that has really been a gift, career, that I didn't even realize was a career you could go into when I graduated college. And so that's been a huge blessing to me. And then through my life's journey, I found triathlon, and that's just been something that's been very fulfilling for me to become a triathlete, realizing that I could be competitive at something as an adult. I didn't know that was a possibility either. And so being able to express myself that way has been a true joy.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

What is a belief about yourself that makes it all possible? And where did it come from that you're able to do all those things so well?

SPEAKER_03 3:32

I mean, honestly, I I've I've gone back and forth and kind of trying to define who I am and where this drive is coming from. And it's I've made a shift here recently is that if I can use my abilities, my strength to go out there and showcase, you know, podiums and and you know, to other women, I want God to use that as a way to shine his light onto others. And so that's really been a shift for me. That that's my focus is how do I showcase God in what I do in whether that's sports, through motherhood, through my career. And so really that's where I lie now.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

I uh I'm finding some parallels with my belief system. When I started this podcast, and I, if you follow me, those listeners who are following me, I was terrified. I finished my PhD a little over a year ago, a year and a half now, and I wanted the first thing there were multiple things I wanted to do. I wanted to write a book, I wanted to do a TED talk because there were so many things that I learned about Iron Moms. Underneath all of it, the value is inspire other people. I wanted to do a podcast, right? I was terrified. What will people say? Will I know how to do it? And at some point, it's just like Iron Man, by the way, I had no idea what transition is, what's gonna happen in the mass entrance to the water, and at some point you just decide whatever it will be, I'm doing this, I'm I'm diving ahead in. The parallel that I'm trying to say in the belief system is really about inspiration. I chose to begin this journey of unraveling my dissertation with podcasts, because I said sometimes people find it hard to grab a book and read it, or even listen to a TED Talk because maybe there are more podcasts that they're loving. But I think that just having that platform to inspire women, and maybe one woman will listen here and get a courage to do something. It could be related to triathlon, but it could be something related to a career or the way she mothers, or um starting something new, then that's where I draw kind of my joy. I wanna peel back a little bit to I guess we'll call it T0 before everything begins. The the origin story. I I I did apologize to you at the beginning of the interview. I said I'm not a stalker, but I'm a researcher, right? So I need to look at all the posts to understand the story, the narrative of her life. And early, if you look at Jennifer's Instagram, it is filled at the beginning with baby and later babies photos from 2012 until late 2018. It's all about babies. A little bit of rock climbing, I thought there, like once or twice. And then 2018 is the first time I'm seeing you at the Y doing, I think, Olympic distance. And from there, the January of uh 2019, slowly, steadily, and definitely exponentially, the races, their intensity, the distances, the podiums are growing. So tell them tell us a little bit about the early days of motherhood and how triathlon gets in in 2018 into the picture and what happened after.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

Yeah. Uh yeah, so you're correct. I mean, my focus there for quite some time was having babies and and raising those and trying to get through life and working, and every two years a new child coming. And so that was a challenge all ofin itself. And I don't know how these mothers do it with being athletes at the same time, too. So high, high kudos to them for doing that. I didn't get into triathlon, it was 2018. Um, unfortunately, that's the time that I was going through a divorce with the boy's father, and that was when I was introduced to the sport of triathlon. I didn't even know that the sport existed. And I was doing the casual three miles during lunch break a couple times a week. I mean, it was probably a 9:30 pace, and I was like, why would anybody go more than three miles? That's just silly. Why would they do that to themselves? And then the idea of doing something different biking, never done it before, besides the beach cruiser to get from point A to point B. Swimming was grew up around water, but I didn't know how to swim laps and breathing and all of that. So I was like, okay, why not? Give it a try. I also went to watch a race and saw the people doing it, and I was like, that's if they can do it, I know I need to at least try. And so that's when it started. I did my first sprint triathlon in downtown Jacksonville exactly eight years ago.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

Go from that to then eight years later, winning the Iron Man at downtown Jacksonville. It just is full circle. So once I got in, I I got hooked. I wanted to see if I could go a little faster. I was like, I know I can do better than that. Like, I just need to put in a little bit more training, and that's how it grew. Just that constant challenging myself to see how better I could get each race.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

I want to drill a little bit that I somehow got into trathlone. I'm very curious because it sounds anecdotal, but there's actually usually a theme that I'm learning about. Who exactly introduced you to Tarathlon?

SPEAKER_03 9:19

Yeah. So at that time I did uh start dating Steven and and he was preparing for his first, and I was like, you're crazy. I even saw even the half. I was like, I will never in my life do that. That's insane. And then a year later I was doing it.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

Okay. I I was asking because I I think this is the importance of visibility and community. Always, always. It's not someone that that just out of the blue dreamed on triathlon, woke up in the morning and did that. It's either they saw it on TV, so that's visibility, or for the most part, it's someone else giving their hand and say, join me, let's go do that, I'll do this with you. It could be a coworker, it could be a neighbor, it could be someone at the gym. But this is the moment where you guys listening could inspire just one more person, one more mom to get into the sport just by encouraging, say, I'll do it with you, I'll be slow this time, I'll help you train. And that booster of confidence, because it's so overwhelming to think about the three sports and the transitions, that I think that's what keeps women and maybe moms even entering. So you had someone pulling you in, and that's where you started. We touched on the fact that this was not a return for you. This is where you actually began your journey as an athlete.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

That's correct. Yeah, I did sports in high school. So I was a soccer player and a gymnast through high school. And then I did competitive water skiing in college, but that's not very cardio. It was more hanging out with friends than anything. And and from 18 to when I I'd say pretty much around the time that I had my first child in 2011, it was just a really big struggle for me gaining a lot of weight, getting being very inactive and uh not taking care of myself. And so this through that transition of becoming a mother made me re-prioritize my health and knowing that how I treat my body is gonna be a huge reflection to my boys. And so that's when I started to make that shift. And as I got into triathlon, that too was an opportunity for me to show my boys, hey, I I'm trying something new. I'm getting out there and I being active with them, and they would see me on the bike or they would ride their bike while I was running, you know, when they were just little, even on little teeny tiny bikes, they would get out there and we would be doing stuff together. And so that was a lot of fun to to bring them in with it.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

What happened? What happened between finishing college as a competitive, somewhat competitive water water uh polo and s becoming a mother that you said was unhealthy? What was the lowest point at that time?

SPEAKER_03 12:31

So when I so it was water skiing that at Purdue University really, not water polo, excuse me. Um yeah, so during that time I was drinking a lot and I I bec became a blemic. I was you know, just had a really unhealthy relationship with food and because of that my c I continued that journey uh for years and kept it so secret that nobody around me knew. And having that guilt it just it tore me up because I knew that it was so wrong, but at the same time I had such a unhealthy that I was not self-confident at all with who I was and the way I looked, and it just was a trickle effect. And um and so it was really until I got pregnant that that was the final straw for me to say no more.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Because you had you had a goal with the kids to be healthy for them, it sounds like.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

And what I was doing with my body was affecting the child inside of me. That was that was the final straw that really changed my my lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

So if I connect the thread, you started with uh having babies, caring more for how you look and feel, um, and and then at some point at 2018-ish 19 you started to doing taraton. At what point do you call yourself an athlete? You consider yourself an athlete.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

I think that's a that's a tough one because I'll call somebody else an athlete a lot sooner than I would call myself an athlete. Just like you have this persona of what an athlete looks like and and what they do. But I think a lot of that also is, oh, they're a runner, but I'm not a runner, even though I run all the time, it's too slow to be considered a runner. So I I think we're harder on ourselves in that aspect of calling us ourselves an athlete, because I probably would have said I was an athlete until a few years ago.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Really? So when you if I bring you on a stage right now to talk to women in sport, women who wants to get into sport, how what would you define an athlete?

SPEAKER_03 15:05

If you're outside, if you're not even outside, if you're moving your body and in a way that makes you healthy, I feel like that's an athlete. Like somebody that is getting out there and you know, no matter what the sport is, if you are doing something that is um active with your body, I think that's truly considered an athlete.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

So I'll push back. Maybe there's someone on listener saying if I walk with my dog every day, twice a day, am I an athlete?

SPEAKER_03 15:37

I think I think there's a bit of it like you need to be pushing yourself. So if that's you pushing yourself, then I think so. I mean, or you can do.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

I agree with that qualifier. Yeah, I agree. So in my mind, I agree with you. It's not about you have to sign up for a sport, of course, if you're trying to be an athlete. If this is about me versus me trying to better yourself and then then you're an athlete. At some point uh in during your journey, your husband uh becomes your coach and he wins overall Iron Man Florida and coaches you at the same time. And I'm I'm I'm curious to know how is it uh being coached by by your spouse? Is it easier because it can help uh adjust things for you, or does it conflict between being wife of and the being the the athlete of the same person?

SPEAKER_03 16:35

Yeah. So when he did coach me, it actually did work pretty well. That was a space that we shared such strong passion towards the sport that we both were very driven. And he also could see the conflict I had with, you know, maybe maybe I'd miss a training or a workout and or have to move things around, or I feel like I'm pushing myself too hard and I need to pull back, or or vice versa. And so I do feel like we were able to work really well together in that space. And then we did shift here for personal reasons. We decided to separate uh last year, end of last year, and so I I started to uh coach myself, which was in and of itself a challenge too. I wasn't sure how it was gonna go, but I I felt like it went well. I had learned a lot from him because he did coach other athletes besides myself. And so we did work together a lot in in talking about trainings and talking about what we've learned through, you know, he was constantly researching the best ways to to maximize workouts and and so we we learned a lot together. And so I was able to take that information and my, you know, what's worked well for me in the past to adapt that to where I was and adjust as needed depending on what was happening that week or traveling for work or or body not feeling well, I was able to adapt it to my my needs. And the part was that was a little missing was that accountability piece or somebody pushing me a little bit further than I maybe I thought that I could go.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

That's exactly where I wanted to go. I think it's next level commitment. Um, but before I I say something about that, I want to say obviously it's working. You won. Uh the overall uh Jacksonville, a week ago, like we said. So looking ahead, do you think you will continue to coach yourself or are you going to change things up?

SPEAKER_03 18:53

I have been in conversations with a few folks to see if that's you know, going back to a coach. And so it I'm considering that. And yeah, so it's in the works. I I haven't just fully decided yet on where I want to go, but I do want to get the best out of me for uh the October when we go back to Kona for world.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

And so obviously the benefits you talked about them, you know yourself, you know what your load outside of training looks like, and you can adjust. Um, what are some of the and then you you mentioned the accountability, which is potentially could be the disadvantage. I'm thinking to myself, this takes a next level commitment and uh dedication to be both. Um, what was a hard moment um where you had to be both a coach and a and a mom and an employee that you said, maybe wow, I I I'm not sure I can do this anymore.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

For sure. Fortunately, I had some people that I talked through this moment with because I wasn't sure. I was feeling a lot of pressure on myself. I was putting the pressure on myself. My I felt like my body wasn't doing very well. It wasn't taking on the load very well, and I had to decrease my training. And when I was doing that for multiple weeks, because it just didn't, it was just hard and it was a different hard. Like I know Iron Man training is hard, but it just I felt really depleted and it was tough in those moments because I thought I'm not doing enough and this is not gonna be enough to get me to that goal that I have set for myself. And through that time, I fortunately had some great people in my life to encourage me and reassure me that my build is not gonna be exactly the same as it was going into say Kona last year. Life is different. Um, and I have built up year after year after year after year of this foundation of endurance that is going to get me through these challenging weeks that I was going through. And so it wasn't like all was gone. It was my body's just not adapting as well as it needs to, and maybe I need I do need a pullback. The other piece is I did start working with a functional doctor or nurse at Lindsay, she was amazing. We did a genetics test and we did some blood work. Through that, we were able to start adjusting my nutrition and my daily intake of calories and protein and supplements to align with what my body actually needed.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Yeah. So, what I love about what you're saying is you recognize that you need support and there's no shame in asking for it, and you reached out to the community, whichever it is, it's Lindsay, it's other friends who knows you and your past and the consistency that you've Been and kind of helping you manage instead of doing what you shouldn't be doing, loading more, they were able to help you.

SPEAKER_03 22:09

It's it has been uh a challenging season in my life, and that has put a lot of additional stress on me, you know, having panic attacks when I've never had them before. Uh one I was in the pool with my team, or I swim with a group, a master's group, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on, but I can't breathe right now, and I can't catch my breath. And I was like, this has never happened. What is going on? And I eventually had to leave because I literally could not catch my breath. And I thought I was like, I'm not pushing myself too hard in the swim, something's wrong. And later it's just like it, I realized I was having a panic attack. So it it's there was there was a lot more stressors in my life, and I do think that that had definitely had an effect. My body's ability to manage not only the physical stress that I was putting it through, but also the emotional stress of life.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

There was also in one of your posts, I think uh happening all the same time, you lost a job and you're in the process of looking for another job, which is very stressful. What does all of this do to a mom and an athlete? Does it help losing those pieces of being a spouse and being an employee, which are four big parts of your role? Those four pieces are big athlete, mom, employee, and a spouse. And now two big pieces of your identity are peeling off. What does it do to you? Does you start asking more questions, who am I, or is it helping you just integrate even more? This is who I am. That's what's important to me. Those two things, mom and athleticism.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

I've been challenged and trying to um, you know, when those things happen, you struggle with, is I'm not enough. Like I can't, I'm not able to provide for my family right now. Or like again, going through my second divorce, does that define who I am? And I'm learning more and more through diving into the Bible. And my disciple group who's supporting me and friends and family is like, no, that's that's just part of your your journey. And and it doesn't define who I am. And so I'm trying to be open because I want to share that part of me, knowing that there could be somebody else, one other woman out there that is having or going through the same thing or something similar. Whatever comes my way, I'm I'm trying to lay it in God's hand that that is part of my life's journey. And so how I can adapt during those times, I will. And I think part of that was, you know, when I lost my job, I felt like I needed to provide in some way. And so I went out in my community and I started cleaning how people's houses. And I was pulling weeds out of my neighbors' yards just for a little bit of money because I just I needed to fulfill that piece of me, that I was doing something to be there and to to, you know, put even though we were okay, I just I needed that that piece to to fulfill me. And, you know, uh, like I said, I I've been reminded over and over again that, and I know all of us go through things and most of it we don't see. And I'm realizing that too, is that we are all going through so many challenges, and even though they're not visible to everybody, and so being patient with each other and leaning on each other, I've I've brought down my walls. I'm very an introvert, actually, it's really hard for me to open up, but I have been extremely blessed that once I started to open up to other people, that they have been so receptive and and have helped me through these challenging times.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

I think, I think, first of all, thank you so much for the vulnerability. I think the antitode of vulnerability is courage, and I hear the courage speaking here. I so agree with you that everyone is going through something, and I'm gonna say here for the first time, something I've never said to anyone other than my husband. We also went through something very difficult, not us as a couple, but something that happened in the family. And I joined one of the forums on Facebook that dealt with that, and uh I hope I'm not gonna cry. We're okay, all of us are in an amazing place right now. But I realized that any of the parents that were writing in this forum taking support, when I clicked on their profile photo, they all were working on the beach with a light shirt and a khaki pants and the sun, you know. And each one of those, if you just looked at the profile photo, you think it's a perfect family. And then I knew that was my reality check. Every one of us, including us who had the same profile picture, is carrying something, right? And it's not about what you're carrying, it's how you're handling this. And I love that you added to your life action, just even by pulling the weed, it's a we were fine, and I needed to do something. And also by reaching out, because for the outside, I think if I may put myself with a bucket like women, women like you, we look it strong, we got it together where we can handle everything. And not always that's the case, but we need to say it out loud so people can feel actually comfortable reaching their hand.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

Yeah, yeah. I I know I'm guilty of it, like seeing other profiles and people that I follow and just having this vision of their life being so great, and then having the opportunity to actually get to know them and them sharing more about themselves and realizing that wow, they they're they they have their they're they're going through some challenges too. And so it really, I don't know, if I can help somebody else like find a passion to to put that put themselves out there, try something new to fulfill themselves a little bit more and to do something healthy and active and you know, and do it together. Like this is an individual sport, triathlon, but man, the community around it is absolutely amazing. I have met the most incredible people through triathlon that I just feel completely blessed to be in this sport.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

We're talking about all the benefits of what the sport brings to us, but I want to stay in that and ask you something that I try to ask each mom. Not everyone feels guilty, and that's okay. It's not a bar for moral, you know, how good you are as a mom if you're feeling guilty or not, or to what degree. Is there any guilt around the fact that you need to travel for races? Although I see that all of them are local that you're doing, but that you need to travel for races, that you need to go away, you know, for the rest for a full day sometimes when you go, you know, for a 100-mile bike or for a long run, and the kids are not with mom uh as a single mom. Is there any guilt? Or if not, which is amazing, and that's what I want other moms to learn. What is it that you're telling yourself that helps you stay focused, present, and feeling good about being a mom and an athlete?

SPEAKER_03 29:49

I think for me, a lot of it is very intentional. So when I'm out working out, that is an opportunity for me to reset, do something for me. But when I'm home with my boys, it is I try to be very intentional with them, whether it's you know, working on homework or or cooking together or you know, it's not always that way. They're boys and getting into teenage years and stuff, but I try to be more intentional with my time with them. And so even though it might not be as much time together, the time we share is quality. And it's been a work in progress. It's been a work in progress, and something I'm really, really proud of and that I have truly enjoyed is recently every Friday morning, I take one of the boys out for breakfast. And they have really loved it. I have loved that. And and so it's little things like that that yes, I I do spend a lot of time working out, but it's usually during times when we wouldn't have good quality time, anyways. If it's like the hustle and bustle of the mornings, or I work out a lot at lunchtime. Like that's a huge opportunity for me to get outside the door, and so I wouldn't be with them, anyways. And then if it's early Saturday mornings, they're gonna play on electronics for a while while I'm out riding my bike or something. And then people would spend the afternoons together. So I don't have a lot of guilt with it. I did for a while until I I realized that it's there's a lot of good with it. There's more good than I felt like the opposite of it being harmful towards our relationship.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Yeah. Um we talked a little bit about the reality, right? Uh and I wanna in one of the posts I saw uh what your pre-race ritual is.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

So tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

I mean, it's not just pre-race, it's I my first Iron Man that I did, I had a coaching session, and I've never had this before, but I was like, I just felt like again, I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. It was the first Iron Man in Tulsa, and and she coached me, she was like, Enjoy this and don't look at the numbers. Just just go out there, and that's exactly what I did. And I had the best time, and the whole time I was doing it, it was like one long conversation with God. I was like, All right, let's we're in the swim. Just okay, we keep going, like keep me focused here now, and okay, now we're on the bike, now we can finally start the race. And and so it's it was just like this long conversation, and it worked out so well, and I had so much fun that I've tried that's what I try to do every single race is it's just this constant like prayer asking him to help keep me present if things are going bad, like how do I work through this? And that has helped my mindset during races better than anything else that I could imagine. Yeah. This week they were like, Oh, you know, what were you thinking before you crossed that line? Like, how long would you know that you were gonna win? And and I told them, I was like, every single time the idea of crossing that line crept into my mind, I immediately asked God to stop that thought because anything can happen. I had to, my body was shutting down, and I was just focused on getting to that next aid station. Getting to that next aid station.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

It's like you're able to read my next question. I'm literally going to read it. And it says it it's this is what I'm about to ask you. At Jacksonville, you shifted from break the tape mindset to stay present, and then you won. What does that shift actually feel like? So that's exactly the question I was after. What does it feel like when you catch yourself in the moment starting to think about I'm gonna win this? I can win this, to no, stay present. How do you do it?

SPEAKER_03 34:11

I don't know if I can explain it. I I had envisioned that moment. I mean, I had it written on my board. My my 2026 goals break the tape at Iron Man Jack's. So I signed up for that race, that has been the goal. And I I told very few people that that was that that was up there and that was what I was striving for because then that pressure was coming. And and so when it came down to it, I had to put that aside and only focused on what I was doing at that moment. It was such a long day that if you're only thinking about that finish line, it'll feel like it's never coming and it's never gonna happen. And so when you're in these long races, it is just as much a mental game as it is a physical game.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

And and so the more you can train yourself to do those small tricks to shift your mindset, it will change your whole game, even if things don't go right. And I've had, like you said, I've had plenty of those races where things have not gone right. Um, but even in those moments, that is how my mind had to shift to get through those hard times.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

So so you added a piece I didn't know about, obviously, because you kept it to yourself and to a selected few, which makes sense. Break the tape. So for a woman listening to us right now, an endurance athlete mom who has a big goal, finish under 12, uh, make it to Kona, whatever the goal is, and it's on her vision board. How do you shift? What suggestion do you have to do the mental shift on race day instead of focusing on the outcome? Get to Kona, get under 15, instead of go focusing on the break the tape to focusing on the here and now. How I and I understand if it's hard to put it into words, but I'm trying to from other to learn from you. How do you make that shift from the big goal into the here and now?

SPEAKER_03 36:20

As much as I wanted that big goal, I really, really wanted it. I had to put that aside, come race day. And that's where I had to truly trust that whatever happened that day, I was gonna give it everything I got and embrace like just whatever happened that I knew it was I was gonna be at peace with. I I had to let go of control of that situation, which is really hard for me to do. I like to be in control of a lot of things. And and so that was that's where I shifted was like I had to let go of thinking I had control because I don't. I have the ability to, you know, do whatever my body's able to give that day. And on that day, I wasn't hitting the numbers that anywhere close to the numbers I was targeting. And so when I was noticing that, I had to let it go. I had and be okay with it. And so that shift in those moments helped me just there with I didn't have a spectacular swim. I didn't have a spectacular bike or spectacular run. It was that consistency, I feel like that consistency throughout, and together that helped me get to that finish line.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

It's amazing because it's sports psychology. One of the things sports psychologists worked with athletes is to ingrain this idea of execution over expectations. And I hear that that's what you did. What made it spectacular is was the execution, putting it all together, right? And not overdoing it on the bike and then unable to deliver on the run, for example. I'm curious to know. You said, I really, really, really wanted to break the tape. Why? Why it meant so much to you.

SPEAKER_03 38:15

I think um when so uh in Roth, um, challenge Roth, I that was almost two years ago now in Germany. It was a spectacular race until it wasn't. That was my first, my one and only DNF. I got to the point I in mile 13 on the run where I was getting very dizzy and I had messed up my nutrition again. And I I had messed up my nutrition at other races, but I was able to finish. Uh this was a full, and so I I couldn't make it anymore. From there, I was able to then race later that year at Iron Man, Florida. Um, and at that race, I finished second overall. I was just ecstatic. I didn't even realize that, you know, that's something I was so close, like knowing that I was I was so close. And so then next spring I raced a 70.3 and I got second overall again. And then I raced an Olympic and I got second overall again. And then I raced another 70.3, I got second again. And then I raced at Kona and just you know, with a a bike wreck that that uh really you know affected the rest of the the race, I wasn't able to race to my potential. And that's the last time I had raced until Jacksonville, Florida.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

Oh wow second place, second place, second place. So I was like, I'm right there. I I know I can do it eventually. Will it happen? I don't know. You know, I don't know if it's it will, but I'm gonna put it out there that that's that's what I hope to achieve. However, you never know who's gonna show up on the day. Like you can have a spectacular race, like a big PR, and then you have somebody else that just is great. And so it's hard to put that type of goal out there because it's it's less about my abilities. And I I do need to show up and I do need to put together a strong race, but it's you don't know who else is gonna be out there. And I never look and see who who I'm racing against because I can't control that, you know, and so it so many things can happen on a race day, and and so I put it out there, that's something I wanted to achieve, and I was really, really, really happy that that that day came.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Touch for a second on the DNF.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

There's this mindset I feel in the Iron Man community. I was puking, I was like with the stitches in my hair, but I didn't give up. And you finish, and everyone is like amazing, great. When I read the comments, almost admiring the getting through it no matter what, I also think it's a type of an extreme that is I don't know if it's needed in the sport. So I'm curious just to see what is your framework around DNF, when to call it grit and when to call it quit.

SPEAKER_03 41:26

Yeah. I think when you are hurting yourself, hurting your body, like putting it through too much stress that it is physically hurting you, that's when I feel like it would be in your best interest to DNF. I don't feel like we should go that far. A race is not that important to affect your health. And so I was at that point in that race where I did not feel like it was safe for me to continue. I was dizzy and it was hard for me to walk. And I yes, did I want to finish that race? 100%, absolutely, I did. And I I didn't think it was the right choice for me.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

It happened not long ago in the kids at an age that they understand. How did you I know that many of us do it also, not only, but also to role model for the kids. I saw in some of your posts how proud you are that they're there to watch you. How did you explain it to the kids?

SPEAKER_03 42:29

I think it's very similar. It was that I had made some mistakes in the race, and and because of those mistakes, it led me to this place where I felt like it was best for me to stop. And and I don't see it as a failure. Like I don't. I learned so much. I had like there was really great pieces of that race, and actually one of my most memorable experiences in that race. And so I still had fun, I still enjoyed that race and talk highly of it because there were those so much good in that race. And so, yeah, what it did end up in a DNF, but it was such an amazing experience overall.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

I personally think that the kids are learning and watching on the highs and lows. They also learn from mom how she's dealing with disappointment and not meeting her goals, right? And then you can use that in stories later when they don't meet their goals, and how did mom after bounce back and won? So that's amazing too. So before we are rounding up the interview, I wanna get into the heart of you know, Strong Core, which is kind of the motherhood part of it. Um the question is around do you think that motherhood made you a better athlete?

SPEAKER_02 43:53

I do. I do. I think it's hard to explain though.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

Um I I do want to be, it just gives me it change it shifted my why, why I was doing it. And is it my only why? No, but is it my most important why? Yes. And I truly just want to be a positive example, not just through sport. That's just, you know, a snippet of who I am, but how I mother them and how like I just feel like it's it's just a a part of who I am and being able to, in that part of my life, be able to show them that I'm able to get out there and do something really hard and I'm really transparent with them. And so when I'm struggling with workouts or something didn't go right, like I talk it out with them. They see it day in and day out, the efforts that I'm I'm going through, and we work together. Like, hey, I'm going to the pool to go swim. And like, and so they're taking on responsibilities as well. And so we're working together as a team through this. And I think that piece is also part of my ability to grow them as men, taking responsibility of of taking care of themselves and being responsible with their homework, with chores around the house to help out, to get themselves to school or make their lunches. And like this is all we're doing this together. Yeah. It's not me. And and so I feel like them being a part of this, even though they're not physically working out, we're working together to help me fulfill this part of my life. But then I can also say, okay, well, I'm gonna go do this race, and and then after that, we're gonna go and do this together, or you get to go do this. And so we're we're adjusting for each other. We're working together to make it happen.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

I love that. And I want to ask on the other side of it. I don't want to call it the dark side, but definitely the cost. There must be some costs to this type of dedication and drive. So, what have you not gained through being an a mother athlete? What has been the cost?

SPEAKER_02 46:25

There's been, you know, um things missed.

SPEAKER_03 46:29

I guess, you know, there times when I've had to go or not had to, but I went and raced and they had games that I had to miss. Yeah, it on the weekends, that's when I try to get my big long trainings done. And when I I have them with me, I leave them alone for quite some time. And so I I think there I know there's a cost, and you know, evenings sometimes I have to get a third, second or third workout in because that in order to be at that level, that's that's what it takes. And you know, they're every once in a while they're like, Oh, you need to work out again, like, oh, I thought you just did, or so it does take away potential time with them. And um, I think because it's become such a part of our life that I don't see it as much and we've made it work. Um however, I will say that I have throughout the year, I have very kind of distinct time frames. There's some seasons where I'm I'm in, I'm training and like I have to be really dedicated and focused. But then now for the next few weeks and stuff, we're going on a family vacation, we're doing things, and so there is a ebb and flow of training and dedication and pulling back and spending some quality time together. That's in the fall until Christmas time. We're going camping, we just go out and we we spend time with family, we go, you know, we travel multiple times to to to go do stuff and do things that we don't maybe do throughout the rest of the year.

SPEAKER_01 48:26

I love this grounded positive outlook that that you have. For a single mom listening to us, or maybe in the process of of a divorce and there's a lot going on. What advice do you have for her to be able to keep going as a mother, as an athlete, as an employee, and as someone who's also pulling through someone think very difficult on the personal level?

SPEAKER_03 48:52

One is if you set your mind to something, you figure out a way to make it happen. And and if this is something that you have you have passion towards and want to really work towards it it's setting its priorities. Um I I and I'm very very uh schedule oriented, and and so you can just like anything else, like you you can make it happen. People say this all the I don't have time to do it. And if you really want something, you will make the time, you know. If it's you you have to be flexible. I was gonna say, as a as a mom, as an athlete, you have to be flexible and also give yourself grace. So are you gonna miss workouts? Yes. Maybe you go from an hour workout that you're supposed to have to 30 minutes or 20 minutes, yes. And that's great that you're able to get something in. Something is better than nothing multiple times. And so you just you have to give yourself grace that things are not gonna be perfect and you adapt with it. Utilizing times that you know, if they're at practice, get creative. Like I would do loops in a parking lot just I would take my shoes everywhere because you are you just I don't know, you gotta get creative. Find ways, and you do, you can find ways, but we can also find lots of excuses if we want to. And so I wasn't gonna let myself use those excuses. And and so I was on like the sidewalk doing burpees and push-ups. I don't I I got rid of that persona, like I that I cared about looking weird in front of people, and said, I don't know these people and probably will never see them again in my life. Or like I had, you know, one time this guy that I had never seen before, he's like, You're making me feel really bad that I need to be walking right now or doing something instead of sitting in my chair. And I was like, Well, next practice, why don't you do that? And he's like, I think I will. You know, be that change, be that, be that different person that that is out there and um again.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

I see that parallel in the leadership development world, right? In talent, we always look for the those change makers, the flame bearer, if you will. But if you give them the new behaviors or the new, I don't know, assignment that we want to have. We know that they're gonna be the change makers, and and you're one of them. You're you don't care how you look when you do that, you will make it happen. Yeah.

unknown 51:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:46

Ready for the rapid fire?

SPEAKER_02 51:48

I guess. Let's go for it. Your boys had to describe you in one word. What would it be?

SPEAKER_03 51:57

Okay, can I elaborate on this one just because it sounds so bad? Okay. My boys, this is not rapid at all, but they show me love through their sarcasm. And so we give each other a hard time, and that's like I've just learned through the years, that's how they show me that they care, that they love me. And so they do give me a hard time, they they call me slow, or they'll like they'll call me fat, or or you know, like real like things that if you didn't understand, the people would be like, that's so mean. I was like, no, but they're it's a day to them.

SPEAKER_01 52:40

I hope you walk all around the house with the tape you broke when they say that. I loved it. That's a great answer. What did motherhood teach you that crossing the finish line didn't?

SPEAKER_03 52:52

Man, you've never felt so in love with something like you do your kids. Like old, uh, you can't. That's undescribable. Is the finish line amazing? Yes, it is a dream come true, but nothing can compare to being a mother.

SPEAKER_02 53:12

Finish this. On my worst training day, I tell myself it's just one day. I love that. Finish this.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

I want the woman standing at the start line of something scary to know.

SPEAKER_02 53:30

We've all been there feeling the same exact way, and you're not alone. We're we're in this together.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Most people who find you on Instagram see podiums. But you're working mom of three, a leadership development and talent manager. When someone asks you, what do you do? What is the one line?

SPEAKER_02 53:56

What do you say you are?

SPEAKER_03 54:01

I'm uh mother of three boys, that's and uh and a daughter of Christ. I that's who I am first and foremost.

SPEAKER_01 54:11

And when, last question, when someone says to you, Why are you still doing this? You've done many races, you won. Are you gonna keep going? What's the what's your answer?

SPEAKER_03 54:23

I still have more goals that I need to achieve. So the next race is Kona. Next race is uh I'm gonna do a fun little like Olympic race in Louisville when I go see my family. And uh a group of us, a bunch of my teammates, we're all going out to Boise 70.3. So that is gonna be a fun one. And then it's Kona.

SPEAKER_01 54:47

So I'm going to put your Instagram handler in the show notes and highly recommend for everyone to follow the journey and uh see the next big dream that you're gonna go after. It's been such a pleasure uh to to get to know you today. I really appreciate and I am I guess the word is attracted to people like you who are vulnerable and honest and raw. And and and I appreciate that you let me in today and let others uh get to know you a little bit better.

SPEAKER_03 55:20

Thank you. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Thank you.