Say More about Patience

This week we talk about the Sermon from 6/25/2026

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 1:05

Welcome to the Stay More podcast. This is a weekly podcast produced by Fullerton Free Church in Fullerton, California, United States, Western Hemisphere, Earth.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

North America.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Don't forget. Solar System. Thank you for that. Milky Way is incredible. What is Milky Way? It's a galaxy. Do we have something bigger than that universe?

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Universe. Just universe? There's like a cluster of galaxies that we're in, but I you don't know what that's called.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

It's called the multiverse. Whoa.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

We're in the multiverse. I'm so excited. We're with Ant Anne. Here we talk about the message from the week before in church. And that message was on June 28th of the year of our Lord 2026. We have with us today. Oh, my name's Kyle. I am one of the people who does this. And we also have with us today not just a regular on this show, not just one of the hosts, not just a staff member worth knowing, but also the giver of the message. We have Katie Smiley.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Everybody, that was really egregious.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

We also have with us today a very special guest. Um, you might know him because that's possible. And his name is Nathan Bridgeford. Nathan Bridgeford.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

He's our pastor to young adults and campus facilities. Yeah. Knows how to fix all the things. He's a pastor to the electronic. Yeah, and to the soul of our lights and plummet.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

He did tell me that his his real gifting on that staff is the lifts. He like he's good on the lifts and he's good at the electrical.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

I feel like I'm getting confident enough that I'm bound to make a major mistake. Like the I feel like the more confident you get on a lift, the more likely you are to mess something up. So I'm getting so confident now that I feel like there's a big crash coming soon.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

There's an accident on the horizon.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

But for right now, yes, I am I'm the master of the lifts. That's my claim to think.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

And I would pulled into the lobby and I was going a little fast. And uh when I braked on the rug that was there, the whole thing slid and uh and it ran into like the info like check-in counter, which was all like nice laminate and stuff. And uh I put a plant in front of the hole that I had made, and I still don't know if they know about it because this was in 2013. So there we go, everyone.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

We probably have figured that out by now.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

It's gonna be so relatable if anybody out there has done facilities work before. Be like, oh, what if this plant was right here?

SPEAKER_03 3:53

That's a great spot for it. Katie, you uh gave us this last Sunday, you shared. Can you tell us a little bit about what Sunday was about?

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Of course. Uh our passage was James chapter five, seven to eleven. And um the message was the last message in our Jesus freezes series. So I always say that really slowly so it doesn't sound like Jesus freezes.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

That was like the biggest disappointment for me is that we didn't have a Jesus freezes logo, like of a it was out there, and it just was out there, but nobody really publicly saw it.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Um and so, you know, that whole series, we've talked about just the ways that Jesus is freeing us from things in our regular lives, like obviously the big things that we think of when we think of Jesus and his life and ministry and um death and resurrection, but frees us from sin and death and um also frees us from just uh different parts of life that um can be a barrier for us, but that Jesus also gives us freedom to move towards the way of life that he's asking us to do. So he's freeing us to hope and toward blessing others and being gentle and living the ways that he calls us to. So this message was um how Jesus frees us from restlessness and frees us to um be patient. So I know it was a hard one, actually, hard only because I felt like, and this happens when you prepare um something to share with others, but I felt a sense of God working on me a lot as I thought, and I I had to be very careful because I wanted to say things, and I thought, yeah, but have you actually really dealt with that deep down inside? Are you really willing to say that thing out loud right now? So anyway, the restlessness I described as kind of a not so much just like fidgety, but more um the word that we see in that passage of James, which he uses the word grumble, but it's similar, it's like a groan inside where you just feel like you're crawling out of your skin and you want to do something to fix your situation or to deal with a messy relationship, or you want a terrible circumstance to end and you just feel like I hate this. Um, and that usually causes us to act impulsively, maybe hurt other people. Like you're just more likely to sin against God and others when you are feeling like that kind of angst and agitation. So um, I just tried to help us remember through that passage in James about the different kinds of endurance and patience that God gives us through Jesus and the Holy Spirit's power in our lives. Um, and one is the ways that we can be patient with our circumstances, and that that kind of endurance is like uh the word there is being able to withstand under heavy pressure and heavy weight and being able to stay strong under heavy weight. And that um James encourages the believers to have that with their circumstances, and then also he tells um the church to be patient and not grumble against each other because that restlessness tends to make it so that we're hyper irritable and frustrated easily and just lash out at others. So we talked a little bit about how um God in his character is patient and merciful and loving, and so we can actually have some transformation in ourselves if we reflect on his character. Um, it's just him doing the work. So we have to sort of let that happen and let that be. And then also the last point I made was about like communally, um, what it looks like. You know, we think of it as an individual thing, like you need to be more patient, Nathan. Although you're pretty patient, I'll say. Um, but instead it's like we what would it look like if we were patient as like a hallmark of our church, patient under our circumstances, patience with each other. And that was something that was really interesting for me to think through. Um, so there you go. I gave some practical applications about slowing down and trying to practice slower activities and not instant responses and those kinds of things. So I've heard people have had a lot of good conversation about it. So I'm hopeful that God could do something in that.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

Well, I feel like that I've heard a lot of good communication like conversation about it as well, and just that idea that everything does feel so fast all the time. It does. And we miss out so much in it because we're when you get only a glimpse of a thousand things, you can't see anything very clearly, you know, and uh and and just the intentionality to like see only a few, you know, like like where where you're immediately at. And so I've been thinking about that a lot since that Sunday. We got one emailed question, which thank you so much for that. Um, you can always email in questions if you're a listener and are like, hey, questions, just email them and then we'll know them. Um and then we can talk about them. There you go. It's just a simple podcast at fullertonfree.com. So this question says long time listener, not a first-time caller, um, because this person has emailed before. And we love their email. Shout out. I've been ruminating on the broader concept of what Katie talked about today. Uh the what's the little with hands like this? What's that called? Parentheses. Parentheses.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Talk to the hands.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

Fabulous job, as always, this person says. Um, end of parentheses. And I was wondering if you had any advice on how to slow down without feeling out of touch or like you're missing out. Thoughts? How do you do it? Like, uh, I know this person says some more, but just to stop there, like, I don't know, there's a lot going on. Um, how do you how do you slow down in a way that you don't just miss out? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

That's good.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

Like, how is slowing down not the same as burying your hand head in the sand and just ignoring everything going on around you?

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Yeah. Um I I can just say from my experience, and I mentioned this on Sunday, my life just isn't very slow. And some of that's by choice, and some of that's by um just circumstance. Uh, but I I have adopted a couple of things. Like if I'm feeling really agitated and anxious, I drive in my car quietly, just quietly, which is crazy. Yeah. But I do get to spend a little bit of time alone in my car, even though I always always drive around my kids, but I just try to like not have something going all the time. Sometimes I think the inputs for me are what make me feel like I'm going too fast, is like having the TV on or listening to music or always listening to a book or a podcaster or whatever. Um, if if it's quieter, I can feel quieter. I know that's not a speed thing, it's not slowing me down, but it just is slowing down the inputs that I'm not I'm not feeling like I'm missing something all the time if I just have quiet. So yeah, that's one thing. I don't know if you guys have others.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Nathan thoughts? This is so relatable to me because I feel like I I have been on a similar journey of like wanting to slow down and simplify. And I think like coming to terms with how unhealthy the pace I was living was, um has yeah, I I feel like in this season I've been a lot more motivated to like just subtract things from my life. And so I think honestly, one of the one of the hardest ones is social media. Um it's no secret that social media is d destructive, you know, like it's bad. In my experience, it was very bad for my health and my mental health and everything. So um, but when you actually decide to step away from it, that that fear of like missing out or being out of touch or like looking like a square or whatever is it's real, you know? Like it's I think the the huge appeal of social media is like, oh, there's all these people that I care about and I want to know what's going on in their lives, I want to know what's going on in the world, like I want I want to have touch points with other people and like areas of connection. So um choosing to give up a lot of those things is really hard because I there's a fear of like this person said, there's a fear of missing out, a feel a fear of feeling behind, like you're not up to date. Um, and that's that's a real thing that we have to contend with. But I I'll say for me, like one thing that I come back to a lot is just reminding myself that we are sort of the exception in human history, you know? Like at every other point in human history, we weren't expected to know everything that's going on in the world and everything that's going on with every person that we've ever met, you know, like totally the amount of information that we're being flooded with is very abnormal. So, like I found a lot of comfort in reminding myself, like I can just attend to my circle, like the people that I'm actually in relationship with, like though those are the most important people for me to know and to know what's going on. So, like I can still I can do that without a social media presence. And if there are people that I still know that I'm not in direct contact with and I want to know what's going on, I can always ask, you know. Like there are ways to stay informed on the things that actually matter. Um, it it requires a lot more intentionality than just going on Instagram and seeing like people's life updates or whatever, but like for the relationships that matter to us that we actually care about, like there are ways for us to continue to attend to those without like using social media as just sort of a catch-all. So that is work in progress for me, but work in progress, work in progress. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

I know that I've been really trying to this has been a big deal to me. Like, uh, I feel like that I forever in my life have been like kind of rushing. Um, and I've been really trying to not because I feel like I've missed so much. Like in the look for what is everything that I could be seeing, what am I missing? Um, because I'm looking at everything I could be seeing, if that makes sense. Like uh, and even when I talk about like jobs or relationships or any of those sort of things, I was always like entering everything with the like what's after this. Um and uh when I got married a few years ago, like it was it took me so long to get to the spot where I could get married because I I was so used to thinking of like, well, what happens afterwards and uh I in everything in my life that I had never really considered what happens now. Um and so I've just really been working to try to slow down in everything. I know that for me, when I'm in a rushed feeling, then I end up rushing everything and I end up rushing people and I end up rushing conversations and I end up so even dumb little things like I always leave my house early. Like I'm because if I leave early, then if I see an opportunity to do something along the way, I'm not I don't have to turn it down, and then when I show up there, I'm not in a an emotion of like, oh, I'm rushing to do like yeah, it it just really changed. I only listen to like hello-fi relaxation music like in my house all the time. Like I'm like, I do yoga every week, like I I'm trying to be intentional of like because I it for as cheesy as it sounds, like I'm just gonna die one day, and like and like why am I so looking forward to to the next thing instead of enjoying where I'm at? I don't know. I know that that's overly simplistic, but I don't know. I get to talk to people differently when I'm not late for something, it's just a different conversation. Like, I I don't eat in my car because I'm like, eating in your car is rushing. Um and I'm like, that means that I didn't properly schedule my day, and so I need to plan it out differently. I sorry, someone else go, but that that's kind of what I've been thinking about.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

No, I think that's really good, and and also the moment to reflect between you and God about what actually is fueling the rushing. Yeah, um, for me, it's generally speaking, an anxiety about someone else's expectations, or an anxiety about um like how I'll be perceived, um, or an anxiety about getting something right in a perfectionistic kind of way that is not what God is asking of me. It's just like what I've demanded of myself. And um, and that that was a pattern I got into very slowly over time. And I think a lot of us in the Christian world don't recognize. I mean, this is a little bit of counseling kind of talk, but we don't recognize just how much anxiety we're carrying around that someone else gave to us. Like, no, Katie, if you're late, then you're disrespectful. And it's like, okay, I have four children, I have a mom in full-time care, like I have a lot going on, and sometimes I just can't manage everything, you know. So I try to like lower my commitments so that like when I leave this place, I'm focused on my family and that's all I have to do, you know. And yes, I will let some people down by not being able to attend this or that or the other thing, but also like I'm just gonna wake up in the morning and say, God, where is it that you have me to be present today and try to do that in reality? I know I'm not great at it, summers are hard because there's too much happening. Um, but I'm I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Yeah, I know that. Um Katie, I feel it. Like, like I just feel it. And it it is such a big deal. I just I I keep going back to the thing that I believe is that God loves me because he made me to be a loved creature of his. You know, like uh, and like it's not because I've earned it and it's and I can't convince him to love me like five percent more than he does right now. Like I can't win over a little bit more favor. Like I am enough, and like God has made that clear to me, you know, like and I believe it until like my actions show that I don't believe it. Um until I put on myself this like weight of well, I know that God loves me, but now let me prove to him why he didn't need to forgive me. And like uh and and that sort of like stress just drives all of these, like like restlessness of the world.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I'm telling you, if you read scripture, I'm talking about like just read Genesis and think about the ways that human beings impulsively act out of their agitation. Just read that one book of the Bible through that lens. You will consider your life differently because you will see Cain and Abel and everyone after them has impulsively hurt other people because of their inner agitation. Yeah. And like we don't have to. Jesus frees us from that because he's given us like the ability to be patient through the Holy Spirit and the ability to recognize the agitation and breathe. So anyway, it's it's a big deal. I I'm with you.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

I remember like this last year on social media, there was that whole little trend of like the almost forgot this was the whole point, you know, like um, yeah, and uh, and I was like, oh my gosh, like that the whole point of our of us being alive is human interaction, you know what I mean? And when we're and when we're god at work in the world through others and our yeah, well, we're rushing through it to get to the tasks, like you almost almost forgot what the whole point was. You know what I mean? Like that person was the whole point. Yeah, sharing love in that way was the whole point. Um, the person kind of goes on to talk that they've been off of social media now for about a year, and they're like, yeah, they've seen some fruits of that, you know. Um, Nathan, you said you're off of it now. Yes. What has been what's what's that been like? Like, like uh, I don't know if I don't know how present you were on it before, but like kind of what's that process been for you?

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Um I don't personally I don't miss it at all. Um I think that's that's always been the fear, like, because I've sort of dipped my toe into the water several times over the years of like, I feel like I should get rid of this, so I'm gonna take a month off or whatever. And every time I do it, I find that I don't really miss it. But then I decide to add it back in and it just sticks, you know? Like you can't get rid of it. So um yeah, so I feel like personally, I don't miss it. I feel just like Oh my head is a lot clearer, I think. You know, like and it has still, even with that, I it's still taken a lot of um like discipline to not jump to it, especially in times of quiet, you know, like it's it was such a crutch for me for so long, where like if I was just sitting in the quiet, especially if it if I started to get uncomfortable for some reason, it was just like that was the way that I could just turn my brain off, you know. Um, so not having that has been difficult, but like I don't miss it. I feel like it has borne a lot of fruit for me. But I will say, like, I think the hardest part is like the effect that it has on relationships because like that's real, you know, like feeling there have been so many times where I've felt just completely out of the loop. Like I don't I'm not up on pop culture anymore, which I like was for a really long time. And like that's a silly thing, but it it does like meaningfully change the conversations that I have with people, and like having to be comfortable being the one that doesn't know what's going on sometimes, you know, like you're like that's causing its own sort of agitation.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

I know that that that happens because you're off social media, but also you're getting closer to 30, and then like that would happen anyway. At some point, you're like, what is that? What did that person just say? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

What about when you're close to 50?

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Oh couple days now, guys.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Couple days with the big 5-0 for me.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

Congratulations. Why thank you? You did it, but that's a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

I did it. I aged.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

I'm so proud of you. You know what? That's all you had to do.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Yeah, um, which is crazy. I almost forgot that was the whole point.

SPEAKER_03 23:51

The whole point was uh just getting a little bit older.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

But what does the person ask again when I forget? Yeah, she had something to say.

SPEAKER_03 23:58

Oh, you gave away who they are a little bit more than we heard. I just called them they the whole time without sounding oh yeah. Um but there's still something that I'm feeling like I miss uh some of those big things that people are sharing. So kind of what uh what Nathan was sharing, like, yeah, you do kind of miss out on those. I I think that what I was thinking about as you were saying that is I was like, is it fair to have expectations on your friends to share those things outside of social media? Or is that, you know, like how do you engage? Like if you have a good friend who announced their engagement on social media, but you're not there, like how should you have found out? Like, you know what I mean? Like uh, what what is the appropriate the channels to do? Yeah, how does that work then?

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Posting and having your friends that are on social media loop you in.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

Like this person talks about that they got a um a home phone at their house now because they wanted to, which I know I know them and they've shared about this. They're like, instead of walking around and seeing snippets, I want it to be a stationary conversation, and that's what a home phone does for you is uh you have to be intentional in that conversation. And but I don't know if all of my friends text and I'm like, I only do phone calls, like what? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Like uh I'm I don't I'm not I kind of my brain turned a little bit of a corner, so forgive me, but I I was off of social media for three years in the pandemic times, but I did it because like I was listening to and watching Christians kind of tear each other apart in the pandemic, and it was heartbreaking for me. And I was I was speaking of restlessness, it was making me feel really like a certain sense of almost rage, and like I was I was really agitated and and restless about it, and so I thought this is bad for me because it's like I hate to use this term, but it's all fake news anyway. Like we're all just reacting to what people are saying about what someone else said, and there's like a constant stream of arguing back and forth, and so I would say like this isn't a practical step, like this person is asking, but you have to think about the other sources of like input that are unnecessarily enraging you. I mean, a lot of people my age have like begged their parents to get off of like a constant news cycle, and I'm not talking only on the right or only on the left, like folks of a certain age are really invested in that cable news thing, and it's it's causing real problems in families. Um, and you're just dragging yourself and your soul into a place of contempt at at an alarming rate. And like, so uh when James is telling us to be patient, James from the Bible, not just like your friend James, although maybe he's telling you to be patient.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

James never tells me to be patient. He's like, Kyle, do more. James, calm down.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Take it um, but like he's saying to be patient with one another, part of that is not just focusing on your reactions, but reminding yourself to pay attention to what is causing the restlessness and the and the lack of endurance and the lack of patience in the first place. Um what's what's unnecessary? What can I remove? Like take, put off and put on, take off, put on, yeah. Anyway, like from Ephesians. So that's a thought too.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

Yeah, yeah. I think like I two things that I sort of think about related to this. Um number one is like I do think it requires a certain comfort level with being viewed differently, you know, like that is that is a consequence of like choosing to do things differently, is you know, it changes the way that people perceive you, and that's not always super fun, but like it's it does require, like we do have to be comforta comfortable with that on some level, because like that's the reality of being a Christian, honestly. You know, like we do we do do things differently, and so like we don't we don't want to plant our flag and like make that the point, you know, like we don't want to be different for the sake of being different, but like I'm different and super weird, by the way. Yes, but like we we should be comfortable with it on some level. Um, and then also for me, like I think it's it's important to maintain a posture of invitation in that, you know. Like I can recognize the benefits for myself of like having a layer of separation, specifically from like social media and the 24-7 news cycle, like I feel like I'm getting the information that I need and like have loosened my grip on the information that I don't need that doesn't directly affect me and the people that I care about, you know. So like I rather than like aggressively trying to defend my decision, you know, like just maintaining an open-handed posture of like for the people that I care about, especially like people in my life that I can see who are really uh being affected by just getting stuck in the spin cycle, you know, like continuing to leave the door open to like have you considered this? Like, what would it look like for you to just take a step in this direction? That's right. Um, not in a forceful way, but just like I think I think this could be good for you, you know. Like I would encourage you to try this, like do it with me, you know, like let's do this together. Um most people won't take you up on that, I've found, but but it's important to like keep an open keep open hands with that, you know, and just like continue to invite people because like when people do meet you there and like take a step in that direction with you, it's really rewarding, I've found.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

So well, and like you don't need most people to. True. You know, like uh which is kind of a cool thing. Like you it's uh it's I know that one of my responses has been, you know, because of the everything's uh the biggest deal ever, and this is like the you know, breaking news 24 hours a day and uh and that sort of stuff is I I've really started to ask always when anyone says something like, Oh, did you see about I'm like, oh, tell me more. And like, and I ask them to explain more about it because it might be the thing that they really care about, and it might be the thing that they're just repeating an article headline. Um, and if you ask them to like share more, either they're gonna be like, Oh, that's it, that's all I know.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

And it's like I don't really have more to share.

SPEAKER_03 30:53

Right. Or they're gonna be like, oh, here's here's the here's how you know the Central America drug cartels got started, you know, from the and you're like, okay, let me know. You know, like uh, and I get to learn, but it Say more. Yeah, say more. And it and it really does, I don't know, it it shuts down the nonsense parts because there's no more to say, and it invites the like important parts because there's more to say. And uh but it doesn't, but if you're being like, okay, cool, and like moving on, then it doesn't do either, right? So that that's been a that's been a good thing for me. That's it. I I don't have any more. Nothing. Can we rest? Um we I think we should rest. Find some patience in the rest of our lives.

SPEAKER_01 31:37

Well, we'll work on it.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Work in progress through through the Holy Spirit. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

He'll work on it.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

That's right. How loud can you make this? It's not that loud.