Why You Should Take that "Pro's" Advice with a Grain of Salt

Getting advice from a professional is pretty much expected-- well, at least it was before A.I., but in general, if you had a financial question, you'd ask a finance person, a legal question would go to that one cousin in the family who is a lawyer, and medical questions would go to late night google searches. While expert opinion seems wise, it's not always going to be the super solution that you are hoping for. This week, we'll take a look at when to give pause when talking to an expert.

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Music: One Fine Day by Keep Calm Podcast

Transcript

[00:00-00:28]

I hate to say that one should be cautious, but yeah, actually, now that I think about it, yeah, be cautious. You know that family member might have an ulterior motive. I want you to get married so that you can have grandbabies, because I've always wanted to be a grandparent. Craving real advice, Tired of feeling like every other small business owner or solopreneur is raking in the dough while you just seem to be raking Secretly looking for a reminder that starting your own business is not as glamorous as others make it look.

[00:28-00:51]

Whether you're looking to change the game in your relationships at home or at the workplace, you've come to the right place. My name is Rae. I went from corporate America to running my own small business to becoming a solopreneur. I'm a professional actor and, dare we say, a professional busybody, Because this body is about to be busy all up in your biz. So let's get real.

[00:51-01:22]

Hello, this is Ray, with Get Real Ray, a place and space for life and business, tips from this creative soul to hopefully inspire you on your journey or, at the very least, provide you with some laughs. And so let's get real. Let's get real about the fact that taking advice from a business that you're planning to do business with can be a little tricky and sticky. So let's get into it Now.

[01:22-02:04]

I am the type of person who welcomes feedback from. Well, is it really feedback Input? I welcome input from others who have a mastery or experience in a specific area. So if you are a financial advisor- um, you've studied financial advising, that is your profession- then i am interested in hearing what you have to say when it comes to finances- my finances- because in theory you have more experience and knowledge than i do.

[02:05-02:38]

however, one must be careful. The fact that you are trying to get my business puts me a bit on guard. And I actually did have some conversations with a couple of financial advisors who They are supposed to be neutral. They're not supposed to sell to me based on the type of agreement they have.

[02:38-03:03]

And yet I just felt like I was being sold to them. it wasn't just one person, it was multiple people. they all work for the same company, so I actually already had a business deal with that company. but they make money off of me, having more contracts, more arrangements, basically.

[03:04-03:33]

so they don't make money, let's see here. so they are not the type of advisors who take a percentage of my investments in specific stocks, but they do take a percentage from the stock companies if i invest in those stocks. i i was. i was asking this guy like: so wait a minute, are you taking like: how are you get paid?

[03:34-03:55]

because you're over here trying to act like you, my best friend, how are you really getting paid? um, so not necessarily that he would be making money off of the money that i'm making, but that he would be making money from the company in which she got me to invest in. so that's already like. don't sound like you got my best interest in mind.

[03:55-04:21]

it sounds like you would be working the best interest of those companies. now, with that being said, they also offer different types of insurance, and so Every phone call would include. well, so how is the rest of your business life doing? Do you have disability insurance? You're a solopreneur. What if you get injured? How are you going to pay your bills?

[04:21-04:57]

Which is a very valid question. However, do I need disability insurance in order to pay those bills? Because an emergency fund might be just as useful, and an emergency fund, in which I'm investing in, like my own Schwab account or something to that effect, might be more powerful than my putting money into disability insurance, with the hopes that I truly don't need it within a few months.

[04:57-05:17]

um, but that would really only be like the benefit of having that kind of insurance. so uh, lo and behold, there is that when you're dealing with someone where you're just like I know you have your sole function. right now in this conversation, it's not just to serve me.

[05:17-05:46]

With that being said, I recently had a meeting with a individual from a business, and this business was offering some free consultations in order to help people who use their platform improve their profiles and get more results, which should be a win-win. If they help me get more clients, then that means that's more traffic to their site.

[05:46-06:01]

That means that they are able to take their kind of finders fee percentage from those sales, And that means that I might also be willing to invest in advertising on their site, And so it becomes a true win-win for both parties.

[06:01-06:35]

However, I had some very specific questions and I was a little like when it came to the answers to those specific questions. So one of my questions was whether or not that site had a client base presently that was actively looking for online material. I mean you could tell me that your company has been really busy.

[06:35-07:08]

You guys are growing into the point where you need to hire more people. You just hired some people. Now you need to hire more people. This is all amazing and great. if your customers are primarily people looking for in-person services, that's not me. and so this really, the rest of this phone call would not make any sense, like we might as well just hang up the phone now and be done with it.

[07:08-07:40]

um, And there was some hesitation in answering my question And then they showed me: oh well, there's still people offering online. So the kind of response was: what's the harm? I'm thinking that wasn't very convincing And we went through things and I was told, hey, you know, go ahead and make your services available, make yourself available And that'll fix things.

[07:40-08:24]

And I'm thinking, no, won't really fix things. On one hand, I would be putting time and energy into listing all of my offers on your site. I've done that before and it's very frustrating when, say, I list 40 different offerings, all with different times, and if I don't get a sale on your site, I've got to make sure that once I listen on an elsewhere, once I fill that time slot, that I go back to your site and make sure that that time slot is no longer available, because I can't risk being double booked, double sold for that.

[08:24-09:23]

And if you're someone who deals with products, think of it as you're putting. you have ten red sweaters on Shopify and Etsy and Amazon and eBay, And you truly have ten red sweaters And you've got to go through and manage your quantity stock on all these sites right. And so, once you have a good flow, you can say to yourself: okay, I am going to list that I have 7 red sweaters, knowing that I'm always going to cave 3 in backups, just in case there's a point where i get a sale on both sites for a couple of sweaters and before i get a chance to adjust the stock.

[09:23-09:41]

um, you know, i sold 4 on amazon and, uh, 2 on Etsy and then 2 on Shopify. so that's already 8 sweaters. oh my gosh, I don't have to freak out because I have some in backup.

[09:41-10:12]

now, when you are dealing with your time as part of the service right that you're selling, then it's not as easy to kind of have that backup. Yes, I can adjust different times being offered, but for my service there is a certain time of day when there's more interest in purchases. That's just a fact. That's when people are available, That's when people want to do things, So that's when I kind of have to be available.

[10:12-10:50]

So this really also limits the amount of offerings I can put out there. so I have to do this kind of juggle of oh my gosh I can't wind up being double booked for that week that time and if I do get someone signed up for say a group class it has been frustrating in the past when it's just one student because people on this platform are not As used to having one student in the class.

[10:50-11:10]

And so it becomes kind of like, I don't know. It's just one. It's just the student and the teacher. Some people love that. They're like, oh, great, private lesson. And a lot of times, for kids especially, they're like, oh, I wanted to meet other kids and make friends. And that's not an option.

[11:10-11:42]

So, boo, I don't want to go back. So This is also something that I have to take into consideration. And in terms of just the time to put those listings on there, it's quite a lot. So because I have to also put the marketing material on the other platform, it's not just a simple like copy and paste content. I also have to make sure that the pictures are uploaded and if there is a promotional video, I have to put the promotional video on there.

[11:42-12:04]

I have to adjust all the pricing. And so it is a time investment. Now, 2 years ago, I did have some interns go ahead and get things started. So there's a good amount that's already on that website. But I do have to kind of QA and double check. Okay, did they copy and paste the right information?

[12:05-12:27]

How's this going? Now, you might be saying, well, why did you have interns do this a few years ago? Well, a few years ago, I opened up tons of time slots. I listed all this information. I QA'd stuff and 0 sales. So here we are having this conversation with this woman.

[12:27-13:25]

And yes, it was a free conversation, but it is in her interest to get more activity on their website so that they can get more information. revenue from the individual sales and possibly get revenue from my investing or from businesses like mine invested in advertising that's that's the name of the game it's not purely to solve the kindness of your heart like there's an incentive right and so even though it's easy for her to say oh yeah you know just you know it's just it's just you know copy and paste just move that over and then you know great we'll go ahead and get traction to this my thinking is What's different today than it was 2 years ago when I listed everything?

[13:25-14:07]

As far as I can see, nothing's different. Nothing's different. One thing she did say to me was, oh, you know, reviews. You don't have reviews on these classes and so that's why you're not getting registrations because when I go on Amazon the first thing I do is look at the reviews yes and no and I've also done videos on this channel about reviews and the impact of reviews here's the truth there are people who are willing to purchase something if there's no review.

[14:07-14:44]

Because if you really think about it, everything starts with 0 reviews. ......... Everything starts with 0 reviews. Now, a business owner may incentivize people to get reviews upfront, and so that way, Once the soft launch is done, they've got reviews that can then make this an attractive item. But reviews are crucial for products.

[14:44-15:18]

But when it comes to services, if it's something that is unique, There are people who are willing to purchase that service because it just matches exactly what they're looking for. And then, of course, we want for that person to get a review, right? Now, also on Amazon, most of us know, I almost said we all, but most of us know that on Amazon, there are a lot of false reviews.

[15:18-15:53]

This is a given. That's why sites like Trustpilot exist. and i saw a youtube commercial the other day for a face mask i thought oh this looks nice i'm telling myself don't get sucked into it because this is actually a really bad commercial it's just people putting stuff on their face and then wiping the stuff off their face but it wasn't even clear to me what this stuff was doing because there wasn't any um footage of what the skin looks like before they applied this.

[15:53-16:17]

It was just the kind of like, this is me with this gook on my face, or this is me wiping the gook off my face. And I'm like, what would your skin look like before? Your skin may have always been amazing. I don't know what's happening right now, but I'm curious about this. And so I just left that ad and went and did a quick little Google search. And I found that there were a lot of complaints on the Better Business Bureau website about that company.

[16:17-16:48]

found that the reviews for the product itself were extremely low and then I found other products that had kind of a similar idea similar ingredients but had way better reviews so just because something has reviews. If it's poor reviews, then that's not really helping.

[16:48-17:05]

I also found recently that one of my top selling courses had a really bad review. Not too long ago. Back in November. And I never saw the review. And I read it.

[17:05-17:22]

And I thought this person is crazy. Because I remember that student. I remember that class. I remember her. And the things that they are saying. Not the whole story. Not really true. And I took it upon myself to message her.

[17:22-17:45]

And you may remember I did another video where I messaged someone who gave me a bad review. I don't think I messaged them. I replied on the business site in response to that review saying, you be lying. So in this case, because the window had closed for me to respond, I just messaged the person saying, hey, I just saw your review and I remember things rather differently.

[17:46-18:20]

Um x y and z she responded pretty much right away which i was surprised and she responded with well i remember and my husband remembers as well and i have proof that i messaged you to make sure my child got breaks and i'm like oh so i just responded back like i have your messages before the class started stating that your child had special needs, but I don't have a single message saying that you wanted more breaks for your child or that your child needed breaks.

[18:20-18:49]

I don't have that. She didn't respond, right? And I also commented like, I remember you and I remember your response to your child getting up during class because she would be off camera and she would tell him like, you need to sit down. So which is it? Which is it? And I did say like, I don't know if you were responding to what you perceived as would be my response.

[18:49-19:11]

Like, I don't know. But part of my job is to, you know, if your child is like, 7, 8 years old and it's constantly like, oh, I need to go do this. I need to go do that. And it's only the class is less than an hour. You should go to the bathroom before the class. OK, they can't be getting up constantly during a lesson.

[19:11-19:44]

If that child was in. a public school right and some of you might be like well you know kids they have to they have to move their bodies they have to do things okay think back when you were in school were you dying and suffering and being tortured because you had to sit and finish your math lesson and then maybe you got to get it get up and drink get a drink of water then you sat back down And in school, you're often in your seat for far longer than this class.

[19:45-20:03]

Now in high school or middle school, you know, the classes are like, 50 minutes, 45 minutes, and you gotta walk to your next class. unless you happen to reside in a country where the teacher comes to you, which I think is fascinating and makes so much sense. I'm like, why don't we do that in the US?

[20:03-20:24]

But maybe we don't do that in the US because we want for the kids to get a physical break. And yeah, there's that. But it's not like this child was doing the exact same thing for the entire time of the class. So I did not appreciate her remarks. And I let her I let her know that.

[20:24-20:50]

And I'm like, I remember your child as being really sweet and Smart. I also felt like is this kid really the age that he says he is because oftentimes I do have parents who sign their kids up for classes and the child is not the age that is listed. And often when a child looks over towards off camera, when they're saying they age, that's when I know you're not that age.

[20:50-21:23]

You're lying. Like you're checking for confirmation. I'm not saying that happens, but I'm not saying it didn't happen. So lo and behold, when it comes to reviews, yes, it is beneficial for your service or business, but reviews are also taken with a grain of salt and they are not the holy grail of making a sale. And so this also left me a little like, huh?

[21:24-21:49]

When this woman was giving me advice of, oh, you have to have reviews because I felt like, If you don't have the client base, if you don't have customers that are looking for on demand or online courses, then my having reviews for an online course doesn't freaking matter. It does not matter because no one's coming to you looking for this.

[21:49-22:14]

So I really try to express, um, what my needs were and that I was in that meeting to confirm whether or not they were going to be able to meet those needs, whether or not this really was going to be a good match. And then she found like, she's like, oh, you actually do have a ton of reviews.

[22:15-22:34]

And then she's looking, she's like, oh, well, they're from a few years ago. Well, yeah, because no one's been looking for online via your platform. So I haven't had any sales. So that's why there's no recent reviews. Like, is that not obvious? So I don't know. I don't know if it was a beneficial conversation.

[22:34-23:28]

I know it was a good practice and reminder for me. It was a good practice in terms of, being able to really stick to what I know I need and to clearly express that and that in and of itself could be said as being beneficial when you are doing a presentation working with a new client and a new business deal communicating with your supervisor Are you communicating in a way that lets know that even though maybe their advice is appreciated, you have specific needs and goals And maybe that advice is, you just want to make sure that advice is in line with your needs and goals.

[23:28-23:57]

I think that's pretty important and crucial. Now, you might be like, Ray, I don't have a business. And my boss is super cool and never gives me advice unless I ask for it. I don't know. Is that a good boss to never give advice unless you ask for it? In some ways, I'm like, that sounds like the perfect boss. And in other ways, I'm like, maybe that boss is like, doesn't care about my work.

[23:57-24:26]

Hmm. Interesting. Interesting. Okay. So how could we apply the lesson of be cautious of the advice you receive? How can we apply this to family, friends, life in general, right? Because that's what these videos do. They're not just all about Be a solopreneur. Here's what you do at work if you're not a solopreneur. Like, we do the whole 360. We apply to all areas, friends.

[24:27-24:45]

And so, when it comes to applying to all areas, I'm going to say that if you have a family member who's straight up like, oh, well, you're not married yet. You need to. You need to get on this app. You need to meet, you know, my friend's son.

[24:46-25:05]

Um Or that family or friend who's like, oh, you know, you are frustrated with your exercise routine. You need to, that's always a caution, right? When someone says you need to.

[25:05-25:23]

It's better to say, well, have you tried? I try to use that myself. And that is softer because that's not assuming the other person hasn't done whatever came up in your brain. They may have done that in 20 other things.

[25:23-25:56]

And when you are giving advice, it's a good idea to be inquisitive as opposed to be preachy. Have you tried? Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Do you know why? Do you know why that is? Do you know what's frustrating you about that? Have you looked into? I heard that XYZ, is that something that might apply to your case? Right? So you're just kind of putting out the fillers and trying to get some more information.

[25:56-26:35]

And then, you know, maybe even saying something to the effect of, wow, it sounds like you've tried a lot of things. That's frustrating. Well, if I can help you in any way if you want my advice let me know right okay so that's in terms of giving advice but in terms of receiving advice from that family member or friend one could I hate to say that one should be cautious.

[26:36-27:16]

But yeah, actually, now that I think about it, yeah, be cautious. You know, that family member might have an ulterior motive. I want you to get married so that you can have grandbabies because I've always wanted to be a grandparent. Or I want you to get married because I am concerned that once I die, you won't have someone to care for you and love you. Or I want you to get married because I think it's just going to bring you true happiness. And that's what I really want for you is true happiness. I want for you to get out of that relationship or I want for you to do good in school because I think that it's going to help you get the dream job that you've always wanted.

[27:16-27:48]

Or I want you to get you to do good in school because I think it's going to allow you to be financially secure and then that way I don't have to worry about Those could all be things. And so as that family member or friend gives you advice, just take it with a grain of salt. Maybe that app did work for their friend. But maybe it's not going to work for you. But when it comes to our family and friends, often we want to believe that they have our best interest in mind.

[27:48-28:15]

And so maybe they only know how to communicate by sharing their advice. Or Maybe they honestly believe that whatever it is that they're pitching to you is what you want to hear or is of use to you. And then you just have to use your own intelligence after that conversation, take a pause, take a break and to really think like, hmm, okay, is that really helpful?

[28:15-28:31]

I had a newer friend who has found herself in a really rewarding relationship. And I said, girl, how did you find this man? Because I need a partner like that.

[28:31-29:24]

And she's like, oh, you know, go on this site and you really have to just come down to like 4 core things they're non-negotiables and then everything else just let it go and as much as I appreciated those words of wisdom I really had to think about it afterwards I'm like that's not gonna work not gonna work because you know so my chorus will be like you cannot be a pedophile and you cannot abuse me or animals so that's already 2 um you should not be like a mass murderer that's 3 okay and then have some sort of financial goals or stability.

[29:24-29:41]

That's 4. All right. I can't just say forget the rest because you also have to have respect for me and for, um, I kind of want to say my family, but be respectful of my family. All right.

[29:42-30:02]

So now we've already crossed the 4 mark. And, you know, you can't not be a mass murderer. Oh, it's okay that he's an asshole to me because he's not a mass murderer. Like that's not going to work. So, you know, I took her advice with great assault. I might try that act though. All right, my friends. So this has been my tips on advice.

[30:03-30:35]

I had to share this beautiful view with you. The sun feels really good right now. So until next time, I hope you found this helpful because, you know, I be liking to help the people. Until next time, Thanks for listening.

[30:35-32:15]

If you think this podcast would help a friend, then please feel free to share it with them. If you want to check out some more Real Ray or just see me hang out with cute dogs, then feel free to visit me over on YouTube. Get Real Rae. 4, 2, 7,.