Why it's Time to Declutter Your Home, Your Business, and Your Life

Every spring your declutter your closet and faithfully give to charity, but have you thought about really decluttering your life? What about your work? Do you have a drafts folder filled with unfinished thoughts? Does "unsubscribe" seem like something that is on your to-do list, but you never actually do it? Well, then this episode is for you.

Heads Up! This episode was originally released on YouTube March 23rd, 2024

To watch the video visit Get Real Rae

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Music: One Fine Day by Keep Calm Podcast

Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

Hello, this is Rae with Get Real Rae, a place and space for life and business tips to happily inspire you on your journey or at the very least provide you with some laughs. So yeah, let's get real. Craving real advice? Tired of feeling like every other small business owner or solopreneur is raking in the dough while you just seem to be raking, secretly looking for a reminder that starting your own business is not as glamorous as others make it look? Whether you're looking to change the game in your relationships at home or at the workplace, you've come to the right place. My name is Rae. I went from corporate America to running my own small business to becoming a solopreneur. I'm a professional actor and dare we say a professional busybody because this body is about to be busy all up in your biz. So let's get real. Okay, so yes, I've spent a lot of time working with children and I used to work in preschools, going in, doing some yoga with them or dance lessons with them. I think I was just actually like an assistant in a daycare center with some sort of assistant role in some sort of daycare center. And yeah, the cleanup song, it's a fun song. It's a fun song. Just sing it when you are cleaning your home. Do you clean your home? Okay, let's roll this back. Do you clean your home? Like when you get out of bed, let's roll it back even further. Do y'all bed sheets smell like you? Just saying. When was the last time you washed your sheets for your comfort? When was the last time you washed for bedding? I saw this YouTube video where this woman who's in Sweden was talking about how there's some sort of duvet that you have touch your body, but it's not the same duvet as the top of bed. Like you would never touch that. That would just be gross. And I thought that's weird. So I mean, in the U.S. we have the sheet and then you might have another blanket and then you've got your duvet or comforter right on top of that. My body touches the top thing. It does. I know I'm supposed to stay under the sheet. Maybe I just sleep like a wild woman. Okay, I just sleep like a wild woman. And things do kind of get all messy. But I don't know. It just seemed like an extra layer that I'd never known of and thought about. And it just seemed crazy wackadoodle to me. Well, not necessarily crazy, but I thought, oh, maybe I should try that. But as I'm thinking about it, I should probably just stop sleeping like a wild woman. And then I don't have to worry about the top bedding getting not so fresh anymore. And then having to wash it. I really hate having to wash comforters, you guys, and duvets. Like I hate it because they're big and you've got to fight to get in the washer. And I know what you're saying. You're like, well, Rae, I actually do not do my laundry. I have someone pick it up for me. Or Rae, I don't have to worry about that. My maid does it for me. Or Rae, I got a bucket in the back and I just take the hose and, you know, I just go at it and it's good. And so I should try all those methods and more. But since I don't have a maid or someone to come and pick up my laundry for me, actually, I don't mind doing the laundry. I have no problem with it. My ex would always be like, I just want to drop it off. I'm like, that's just kind of, for me, I just feel like a waste of money. Like, are you really doing something else with your time? Because honestly, if you just take the clothes and stick it in the wash and hit start, that took you, what, five minutes? So I, this morning, I found myself, I found a sock. I was going to say I found myself sniffing the sheets. And then I realized, well, actually it all started with a sock. I, there's a piece of paper on the floor. So I picked up the piece of paper that was on the floor. So I was like, oh, why is this piece of paper on the floor? It must have slipped out of my book. That's my bookmark. I will just pick this up. Oh, there's a sock under the bed. How did that get there? Oh, okay. I guess, I guess I took my socks off in here. I'm going to take that sock and I'm going to go ahead and put that in the laundry basket. And okay, I'll make up my bed today. I've been a little slacking on that. Let's make up the bed. Oh, is there another sock in the bed? How many socks are missing? And so I pulled apart all the bedclothes and I find another sock. Okay. Clearly I'm somebody who likes to sleep with socks on. I like my feet to be warm at night. I do. It's just a me thing. Do you sleep with socks on? I'm going to know in the comments below. And so then I was like, maybe since I've ripped apart all these bedclothes, I should just go ahead and wash the sheet. And is it time to wash the comforters? How long ago did I wash them? It wasn't that long ago, but do they smell like me? Have I been sweating recently? Let's give it the old sniff test. And so then I was just like, oh man, I gotta do laundry today. After all that, I took a look around the house. Wait a minute. I thought I was a minimalist. Okay. I claimed minimalism before it was like a trendy thing. Now, I also, I got a lot of things I claimed in life before they were trendy, but for me, it's kind of like, don't have a lot of stuff because if you're not using it, someone else could probably use it. And it's just more things to worry about. It's more things you can't find. And for years I would, I moved a lot. So I would take my belongings, pack them up. And then towards the end, when we're getting closer to that move date or the day of the move, I'm just like, there's just this stuff that I just don't even know. I don't have time to sort it, just stick it in a box. And so I would always have a box of stuff or a drawer full of stuff. There was always this kind of stuff section. And finally, I reached a point where I was like, I can't stand it anymore. You know, that tired of always coming up with a box of stuff. And I managed to kind of get rid of everything. I learned the concept that everything should have a home, everything should have a place. It hadn't occurred to me before. And especially when you're someone who, if you've grown up like sharing a room with a sibling or living in a household where maybe there's limited space, there's more stuff and people than there is space, then this idea that everything should have a home is going to be really foreign, right? It's like, how can everything have a home? That sounds expensive. But when one chooses to have less stuff, then it becomes easier to make sure that everything has a home. And so by just taking the emotion out of being like, you know what? I haven't even thought about this item in a year. I've lived here a year. I haven't thought about it. I was keeping it just in case. But honestly, just in case it hasn't arrived a year, it's probably never going to arrive. Just get rid of it. Let someone else enjoy it. Let someone else bring life to it or get rid of it. Just make it garbage, right? And so I have really prided myself on not having a lot of stuff and on being a clean person. Now, love my mom dearly. She is a stuffed person. She's also moved a lot, but she has a lot of stuff. And if it's a holiday and wants to feel festive, she's got the stuff for that holiday. I just think that's so great. A part of me is always like, oh, I wish I was that person. And when I worked in schools, I would like to bring things to decorate the classroom. It's going to be Valentine's Day this week. Let's decorate the classroom with hearts and Halloween. I've got a creepy spider. And so I started to accumulate stuff again for my work. Oh, you know what? We're going to have to shoot this. And so it would really be helpful if I had a portable light and a cage and a mic so that when we're shooting outdoors, I can go ahead and do these things. And I'm not like fighting with the phone falling over or fighting with trying to figure out lighting or fighting with microphones because I've got this thing. And so the stuff just starts to build. So I got rid of a whole bunch of stuff. And then over time, things just start to build. And so I'm looking around my home. I'm going, why does this look like a tornado just came here? Like, if someone stopped by right now, would I be proud of my space? Or would I be like, oh, my goodness, this looks disastrous. Please excuse the stuff. Please ignore the stuff. I didn't expect anybody to come over. And so I was like, okay, girl, put away the laundry. You have put it away, put it away. It normally doesn't take you this long to put away the laundry. And go ahead, finish washing the dishes, put away the dishes. Go ahead. What's with these receipts over here? You were going to take a phone, get this done. Let's start decluttering. And there wasn't a whole lot to declutter. Because like I said, I got rid of a bunch of stuff. So it was just this other trip getting rid of stuff. But that was the surface level. Then I start to go, what's in this drawer? I'm looking for X. But what else is in this drawer? And I look in the drawer and I go, I remember really, really feeling like I needed a karaoke microphone. It will be fun for my business. It will be fun for doing karaoke with my spouse. I want this. And I was so excited when I got it. And I just refound this karaoke microphone that I delicately put into a little box. I have not touched this thing in a year. And I found myself going, do I need this? Or is this just stuff? Is it something that I've held on to thinking that I would use it now? Do I really need it? The other day, I was listening to this podcast episode, where the question came up, do you reach a point where you're too old to use a skateboard as like a reasonable form of transportation? And in my mind, I'm going, yeah. If you're freaking 50, like, yeah, I'm just going to go ahead and skateboard to work. Why? If anything, at the most, ride a bike. You and your briefcase on a skateboard. You don't look cool. You just look ridiculous. Or maybe you don't have a briefcase. Just you and your flannel shirt heading to the bar to go work. You look ridiculous. I don't know what your job is, but you on a skateboard, holding a surfboard, trying to get to the beach because you're a professional surfer. You look ridiculous. I don't know. You should not be a grown adult on a skateboard unless you are a professional skateboarder. And even pro skateboarders retire at some point. So, don't be a 60-year-old man like, I'm going to skateboard. Do you need a helmet? Should I get you a helmet? I'm just saying, there are some things. There are some things. And so, I think I'm going to have to separate with this karaoke microphone. It's super cute. It's white and gold. And I have to think about it because, honestly, I haven't touched it in a year. My life hasn't changed. Now, I love karaoke, but I've only done karaoke maybe twice over the past year. Part of it is just my emotional baggage. I used to do karaoke with my former spouse, and it was one of the few things we could do that we both enjoyed that we could do together. Not necessarily that we enjoyed doing it together, but it was something we both enjoyed that we could do together. And I always loved the songs he picked. I'm sure he didn't love the songs I picked, but I did want to support him in that area because I knew that singing was something he enjoyed, and I knew he didn't feel the most confident about it. And I knew that singing was something that I enjoyed, and I didn't always feel confident about it. And so, this karaoke was an opportunity to feel confident. And in my new home, on my own, I started to feel very self-conscious about the karaoke. I don't know why. I mean, okay, yes, people can hear me sing. Mind you, there is distance between the walls of these homes, but sometimes I do hear the neighbors, but I think it's because that kid's window's open. I don't know. Anyway, I had a big voice. I had a loud voice, and I liked singing loud. I like loud songs. I love it. I love it a lot. And so, I do get a little self -conscious, and I start to feel very alone in this karaoke process, which is silly. And I could go out to like a bar, do karaoke, and I'm trying to get myself to go do that. I used to like to do that on my own. There was a lot of nerves. I'd go to like piano bars. A lot of nerves, right? When I went with friends, I liked that, but there was also this kind of, hmm, no. I like for karaoke to be fun and to not be too serious. And so, I do kind of have mixed feelings when people take it very seriously, I guess. I know. I really shouldn't. I mean, I want to celebrate everybody who's there to perform. There are some songs where I'm just like, oh, I don't really want to hear your song. Oh, that song, that's a little, oh, that's a little boring, right? I don't want to hear this. I guess I don't love karaoke where it's like, let's just sing ballads. Like, no. Let's go sing rock songs. That old song that you used to jam to when you were riding the bus. That old hip-hop song. Yeah, let's do that. And then realize that it's actually really hard to sing that hip-hop song. And when you were rocking on the bus, you weren't any good at it, so why would you think you would be suddenly good at it in karaoke? And it's so cool to just be like, oh my gosh, I didn't even know that's what the singer actually said in this song. Oops, I guess I got the lyrics wrong all these years. I love karaoke. And yet, I am so in my head about doing it on my own in my home. It's the one place I should be able to soar. And having this microphone was supposed to give me an opportunity to feel confident and to have fun and to do more. That's why I got the stupid microphone. So that me and my partner could feel great like rock stars doing the karaoke thing. And I'm looking at this device going, that was a kid's mic. Shouldn't I just give it away to some kid who could use a little moment of joy? Shouldn't I focus on singing without a prop in my hand, without using this external device as motivation and to allow myself to build the confidence in singing? And at some point, get a professional mic and start recording things like a professional, like a professional. So as I say all this, I'm like, yeah, you need to get rid of that mic, girl. I usually just, I just talked about this stuff off at the Goodwill the other day. I usually just take stuff to a donation center. Sometimes I'll message neighbors, be like, hey, do you have a need for this? Can you use this? This mic is in excellent working condition. And I do feel like I want to find it a home with someone who, with a child who will really appreciate the opportunity to to sing and soar and to have that prop and to build that self-confidence. I don't know. I don't know where to find this child. I was in the process of becoming a Big Sister and I just put the application on hold because I did not like how I felt it was really disorganized in terms of the onboarding process. This is not a reflection on the Big Brother Big Sister organization. They were clearly very organized. Just the chapter I was dealing with wasn't quite doing things the way that I felt they could be done. And I was just you know what? I'm turned off. I'm turned off by this interaction. I'm turned off, right? And so I didn't follow through with finishing up that process. And there's a lot of things that I start, I don't finish. And that's a problem. And I need to finish things. I, that is, that's definitely another video. And I may have made a video of that. I'll probably have to check to see. I made a video of that. But with that being said, oh my goodness, this microphone was not the only thing. There were other things that I found. I'm like, what? Do I use this? Can we get rid of this? Let's just get rid of this. And so I've been in this kind of decluttering thing with my home. And part of me feels like maybe decluttering my home is my way of avoiding decluttering my business. I know. I know. Okay. So yes, the home was like super gross. And I have some papers that I do need to sort. But there are also a lot of things with my business that need to be decluttered and I do need to sort. And you know, sometimes when you can't deal with it, my feeling is if you're not sure in the moment and you're just back and forth and it's just causing you a lot of stress, anxiety or whatever, back away. I tell this to my writing students all the time. Like if you reach a point where you're just like, oh, I don't know what you're staring at for a while. Like, back away. Just, just come back to that part of the essay. Right. And the students who get it, who can just accept that perfection ain't going to come at that moment. Their essays get so much better so fast. And then their whole writing process improves so fast. And they're just, they're rocking it. They're rocking it. And I love to see that. Um, you can tell I like to like help people out, right? I hope you can tell that from these videos and from my mention of the kind of big brother, big sister program. Um, and it is on my plan to someday adopt. Uh, I thought of being a foster mom, but you know, financially right now, I don't feel like that would be smart. I don't want to add more stress to someone else's life. Um, and you know, parenting does take time. And if you're a parent, then you know, um, apparently it does take time. And so I want to make sure that I can give somebody that time and energy without, without feeling like I'm not giving them enough without feeling like, um, I'm not being fair. And cause I would be a single mom, right? You know, when you can at least split it with someone else, that's definitely helpful. But, um, with that being said, um, now is not the right time for me to, to take that journey. Why do I bring this up? Because I like the idea of some of these things that I'm just like, you gotta let go. Just get rid of it. I like the idea of giving some of these things to, um, that is it adoptee? The person being adopted. Um, I like the idea of being like, Hey, I think you'd like this. This brought me joy. I think, I think it might bring you joy too. I have a number of books that I just pulled out and I'm going to part with. And part of it's like, Oh, this is, Oh, this is a classic. I really want to make sure that a kid gets this. Who's going to understand the importance of this book, but that's control. And when we have clutter, we lose control. You use the, lose the ability to find things when you need them. You always kind of have this to do on the to-do list. So I gotta let them go. I did this event the other day and I was flipping out because I designed these postcards for the event. And part of the agreement was I would do this event for free and then I would be able to market my business at this event. And I couldn't pick up the postcards. They weren't going to be in time. And the other set of postcards I had those, I left in the car when I was going inside and I didn't have time to go back outside to go get them. And so here I am at this event and I have people who are interested in connecting and staying in touch and finding out more, and I've got nothing to give them. And on the postcards, there's a QR code that takes them to this landing page so they can sign up to be part of the next activity. But I didn't have that. So I could say was, Oh, you can look for me online. Just Google me and you'll find my website. And when I got home, I went to the website. I said, I gotta quickly put up a link so that people can sign up because the website is not the same as the landing page. They might be confused. And I look at the website and my heart's breaking because I'm like, Oh my gosh, this website is so nice. I love it so much. And this is probably the third version of this website within the past year. And zero, zero registrations from new students. Calls for people who are interested in a service that I don't really offer much anymore. And so I decided, let me restructure that service since that's what I'm getting calls for. But no bookings, nothing. The money that I make for that business comes through a third party. And I don't want to delete my brand. I worked hard for that brand. And honestly, if that third party kicked me, got rid of me tomorrow, today and said, we don't want to work with you anymore, I would be SOL. I'd have to rebuild the website and everything. So it doesn't make sense to keep the website just as the backup plan for that. But I do want to turn this website around and get bookings again and all those things. So anyway, this video is not about that. This video is not about that. It's going to be about cleaning. But as I'm trying to quickly edit this webpage and then I'm going, okay, well this is done, but now I need to create this link and actually don't really want to just link to that landing page because really the information should be coming directly to this other section. And so I'm starting to redo more pages and reconnect things. And then I said, well, this, I thought this was decluttered, but I did declutter with the intention of doing one thing. And now things have changed. I got to declutter again. And I got to sit down again and look at my plan again and figure out what is this business selling? What is the way that I could present what this business is offering and not confuse people, not overwhelm people, not make it a turnoff, not make it a turnoff and make it seem like I know what I'm doing because I do know what I'm doing. And it's kind of this weird thing where it's like vegetables, this business has become vegetables. So, you know, vegetables are good for you, but if you have too many vegetables to choose from, then you're like, oh man, I don't know. I can't be bothered. I can't pick which vegetable right now. I don't even bother. Just going to eat that frozen pizza. Right. And so by just limiting the choice, even though all the vegetables are good. And if you try any of the vegetables, you're like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. Why did I know about this before? I got to tell my friends, right? These are great vegetables, but clearly it's not being presented in a way that is allowing one to make choice. So got to declutter. And, you know, I've had a business, a web design and a business design really, where I said, well, look, if the third party marketplace can have all of these different offerings and people can search and it works for the third party marketplace, why can't it work for me individually? And I had different, you know, mentors who would say, just so much there. It's kind of like overwhelming. You really should just have like one or two things for people to choose from. This is too much. I'm like, I don't understand because it works for the marketplace. Why can't it work for me? Why can't I use that same business model? Only it's just my brand that is offering all of these things. I'm just kind of creating my own competition. And finally I just said, well, I'm not getting the bookings that I want. I'm not getting enough demand in any one area. So I'm going to try it their way. I'm going to slim things down and see if I get more. Actually, I haven't, I really haven't. But that's also partly, that's largely because I haven't been focused on driving traffic just to my site because I've been lost in this whole process of, well, once the traffic gets there, what do I want them to do? What's the best course of action? If I want them to know that they do have options, do I want them to sign up for the newsletter? Do I want them to take a quiz? Do I want them just to make a direct purchase? Do I want them to call me? I've tried all of these things. Mind you, I've tried to call me. I tried the, uh, the problem with the call me is that people don't want to talk on the phone or they do call you, but they're calling you at a time when you're busy, right? Or schedule a call. People schedule calls and then they don't show up for the scheduled call. Schedule a meeting on Zoom. People schedule, they don't show up. Or people schedule, but it's not even for something you are. It's like, what, wait, you're interviewing for a job and you just went to the website and click schedule a call? That's not how this works. I've seen your resume. I don't want to interview you. I did not call you for a reason. So I just it wasn't quite happening the way I wanted, right? Um, in terms of the, just make a purchase, which we went on that model for a very long time. The problem with that is that people would make a purchase and often the purchase would be for a group class, but there weren't enough students for the group class. And so then you have this awkward period of, well, I really want my kids to be with other kids. I'm like, well, I can't control that. You know, we're trying. We're not sitting over here going, yes, we got one student. We only want one. Like that's not paying our bills. Oh my goodness. And that just became a horrible feeling. So then we say, okay, well, we're just going to focus on private lessons and let people just pay for their private lessons. Um, and just not driving enough traffic for private lessons. And I don't really love the idea of only being available for people who want private lessons, but I've also had to reframe that thought because I think that the things my business offers should be accessible to anybody who's interested. But by reframing the thought, I said to myself, okay, maybe we focus on private lessons through the website, but maybe I can give for free on like YouTube or in-person workshops and just find that balance that way. And there's all this other third party thing where they have a bigger marketing budget and we have a larger opportunity to have more group classes.