Why Just Getting It Done Will Leave You With Less Stress

If seeing red hats or a rainbow flag have you instantly jumping to conclusions, then this episode is for you. You are also welcome to just look down on me from your pedestal and laugh at my naivety. You have my full permission, but before you cast me aside like yesterdays dirty socks, can you at least hear me out, because I swear I am not alone in mistakenly believing that showing me allegiance to something via my fashion choices actually created the type of impact that I was going for. 

Heads Up! This episode was originally released on YouTube May 24th, 2024

To watch the video visit Get Real Rae

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Music: One Fine Day by Keep Calm Podcast

Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

Is this how I'm showing up? I can do better, right? Really? Hello, what's up? This is Rae! With you, Rae, I'll play some things for life. And this is tips from this creative soul to hopefully inspire you on your journey or at the very least remind you with some laughs. And so today we are going to talk about how we show up. Oh yeah, let's get real. Craving real advice. Tired of feeling like every other small business owner or solopreneur is raking in the dough while you just seem to be raking, secretly looking for a reminder that starting your own business is not as glamorous as others make it look. Whether you're looking to change the game in your relationships at home or at the workplace, you've come to the right place. My name is Rae. I went from corporate America to running my own small business to becoming a solopreneur. I'm a professional actor and dare we say a professional busybody because this body is about to be busy all up in your biz. So let's get real. All right, so I was looking through my videos because I needed to, I was like, you know what? I don't have any video footage on my acting profiles and this is ridiculous. I've been an actor for a ridiculous number of years. I have done things on screen. I have done things on stage. I am proud of my work. I don't suck and yet I've got nothing out there to at least make me look like I've done something. I haven't done any like major things but I have skills and no one's seen this and I know, I've known for years that having video on your actor profile is a must. Why don't I have video? And it used to be in the world of acting, if you're like, Rae, I'm not an actor. Okay, hold up, hold up. I didn't say you have to be an actor. You know, you know I get there. It just takes a little while but that's why I like these videos. I mean, I kind of like these videos. Okay, so I love editing things and creating these beautifully edited masterpieces and I love watching well edited videos. You know, where there's like the closeup shot and just the music and the lighting and the soft tone. And so as I make my practice, I try to remind myself that it's okay to be tired in the morning and that it's okay to have a cup of tea. Like I like watching those videos. They make me feel relaxed and I also kind of like learning about different camera angles and stuff too. I think that's so cool but I'm a busy girl and so when I have this pressure on myself to make another really well done edited video, just keep trying those out and try to make one at least once a week. It just wasn't happening. It was not happening and then the hard drive was over full and over full. The hard drive was full and then that computer crashed and then I was trying to like recover files and then there's the whole thing, right? Then the hard drive wasn't readable anymore. Oh my God, that's gracious. And so I already have so much on the to-do list. I finally had to say, you know what? This needs the get it done rule and so tip number one today, party people. Get it done. Have a get it done rule in your life. Maybe apply like a three second rule to the get it done rule or three step rule. I don't know why three came in there. The holy trinity. I don't know, three just seems like a good number but you don't want like 10 seconds or 10 steps before the get it done rule applies. So I'm working out my get it done rule as we're talking or as I'm yammering but hopefully you're talking too. You're like, yeah, how can I do a get it done rule, son? Okay, so I'm thinking if I need some kind of outline like if it has been more than one day or if I've thought about it, let's see, if I've tried to, if I've touched it three times and it has been at least touched it three times, been, touched it three times, been more than two days, touched it three times in more than one day and I need something with two. I need something with two. I'll figure it out, right? But whatever it is, if I've touched it at least three times so I've made some sort of attempt on it, if it's appeared in my journal twice so I've made an attempt, it's appeared in my journal twice and it's been at least a day then I just need to be like, you know what, I just gotta get it done. Okay, so with this kind of new frame that I just came up with, let's see if I can apply this, all right? So one of the things that I know I need to do today is to finish this website project, okay? So if it's appeared in my evening journal because I try to journal out some of the things that happen in my day so that the feeling of, oh yeah, I gotta finish that. If the feeling has appeared at least three times and I've, no, I've touched, I've tried. I've worked on this project at least three times. I've, it's appeared in my journal two times and it's due in a day or it's been at least a day then I just gotta say, you know what, it's not gonna be perfect. I'm just gonna get it done in whatever version it's gonna happen and that's what's gonna happen, okay? Lately, I've been kind of waiting until the day certain things are due to do them. It's partly been this kind of like, I want to have a day off. I want my weekend back. So that's definitely been a thing for me. But in order to stop that bratty kid inside of me, I need to also take a moment to re-look at my schedule and to re-look at how, why am I being a brat? Because I feel like I've lost control, right? Did I wanna own my own business so I could have control, could be in control? And so I'm looking at my schedule and I'm seeing slowly this creep of, oh, how did I go to work in seven days a week again? No, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that. And for a while, like Sunday was supposed to be my day off, but it really just became a day of getting stuff done for the rest of the week or feeling guilty about not getting stuff done for the rest of the week or being part of the day that I spent traveling because I was traveling all weekend for work. Okay, so I'm working to reclaim my weekends. This year, I actually looked at my schedule and I wanna give myself Saturday and Sunday off. And part of me says, well, how are you gonna do that? Because you make good money on the weekends. And when I looked at the last couple of months, I'm like, actually, the money I make on the weekends is really nothing better than during the week. So maybe I need to figure out how to make the week more happening so that I don't miss this weekend money. Because I would like some time to not think about my work all the time and to feel balanced and to feel in control. I've got control issues, apparently. So I'm applying some kind of role, applying some kind of role in order to allow oneself to say, it's okay that this is not perfect and it's time to get this done. I think that is key. A lot of times, the get it done version is good enough. Now, I'm also a fan of the do it right the first time so you don't have to go back and do it again. But if nothing's getting done because you're looking for perfection constantly on that first round, then you're not exactly improving your situation either. So with these YouTube videos, this kind of like talking to camera version is part of my get it done. And so that's a large part of why I want to do these videos is, yes, I love something that is more visually interesting and edited and can just really show like me outdoors and indoors and just all the wackiness that is my life. But at the end of the day, if I don't have the time to edit those videos, I gotta change my plan because I'm not doing myself any favors, right? I'm not building the viewership or videos in the way that I want. Why did I want to make videos in the first place? Well, one reason was because I felt like I've lived a life, I've done a lot of things, and I have business knowledge and some life knowledge too that might help others, right? Part of the reason why my business, one of my businesses has a mentoring program is because we wanna help young people who are interested in learning. That's it. And hey, if you're interested in learning, sure, we'll help you. We wanna work with you. Absolutely. If you're not interested in learning, I don't wanna force on you. So what can I say, right? And I think YouTube is a really interesting space for that is people who are interested in learning, go to YouTube to learn things. And I'm like, well, this is a nice way to just, it's not taking more time out of my day per se in the sense that I don't have to get on in my car or on a bus and travel a long distance in order to help some people, right? And people don't have to pay for it. So that's nice for them. And I can reach a larger group of people if I remember just to show up. I gotta do my part. I gotta show up and share what I know. If I don't do my part, if I don't show up that I'm not helping anybody and my failures, my mistakes, these things that I know that someone else can learn from, they're not gonna know it because I didn't do my part, didn't show up. And it just, the idea of it has to be a video, a good video has to be, it has to look like this. A good website has to look like this. A good career path in your job has to look like this. That was holding me back because every time I didn't reach the goal of what it has to look like or achieve what it has to look like, every time I didn't make that a priority, things just weren't getting done. And this kind of goes across many areas of my life and maybe it does for your life too, right? What are some areas of your life where you have been working on something, it's not quite where you want it to be and you haven't finished it. You're not really getting it done. You're not putting yourself out there. Can you make the change? One of my Cambly friends, so I've talked about Cambly before. It's this online platform where one can say, I will help tutor people in English and you can use their Cambly lessons or you can have conversations with people. I love the Cambly. I think it's so fun. I actually met a woman in a job. I was doing a job interview and one of the interviewees was someone who worked for Cambly and that was like her full-time income but she was also not living in the US at the time. She would think she was in India. She was a US citizen living in India. I don't even know how long she was living there for. I wound up having to kind of withdraw the work offer because she wasn't honest about some things up front. Like the fact that my job posting said, you need to be living in the US and be able to do these times and she said, yes, I can. And then after all the paperwork and whatnot, it comes out that she's actually living in India and she's not available for any of the times that we need. She's like, oh yeah, I can work from midnight your time zone to like 5 a .m. So that's not what we said we were looking for. Like you want students who are available in Asia time zone which is great, but that's not what we're offering. That's not what we're offering, lady. Like I just, yeah. When people say, this is my thing. When someone says, I appreciate you, that for me, it is the red flag. I know it's the thing to say. I know it's a thing to say, but every time someone has said that to me, I appreciate you. That person has turned around and done something evil or destructive every single time. The lady who tried to be a squatter when I was renting a room out to her, I was renting a bed out to her and she called the cops because I told her she had to leave because she was insisting on like staying in other people's beds and just doing all kinds of crazy stuff. She called the cops and I had to, it was this whole crazy thing. I just don't even wanna get into it. And being threatened of being arrested because I had said, I'm gonna have to change the locks. And they're like, if you change the locks, we're gonna arrest you. And I was like, what? I'm the lease holder here. What is going on? But she, thank you, NYPD. Thankfully, she took her money and left and I never saw her again. But that was probably, that was one of the worst moments of my life. And that's a moment where I said, I've lost faith in the police system of this city. Cause I really thought, I was like, what? I thought I was gonna be arrested. And I actually called the precinct to check if I could change the locks. And I was told that I could. So when this police officer shows up and says, you can't change the locks. If you do, I'm gonna arrest you right now. That was not fun. That was not fun. And I'm thinking, I'm not looking for trouble. What is going on here? And so craziness. But that is in the past. That is in the past. And so she was the first person who ever said to me, I appreciate you. And then, you know, like four days later or something like that, the cops are called to my home to threaten me basically. So yeah, she was evil and crazy. And I'm just saying, watch out for people who say that phrase. Don't say that phrase. I don't know. I don't know. Or maybe it's just like people I meet who say that phrase are just pure evil. Now, perfection. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You don't wanna have to go back and redo something. But at the end of the day, you gotta get it done. Because if we're still delayed, we will never get that out there. Whatever it is, right? My businesses are designed to help people. I want to help people. If, oh gosh, McDonald's like waited until they had the idea of the Big Mac before actually ever selling a burger, they would never have gotten off the ground, right? Or just would have taken them longer. So sometimes you gotta make the leap. There's this really interesting podcast where the creators pick a moment in time and then they kind of go back and do like a deep dive into that moment in time. And so they picked this year. I forget what year it was. But one episode was about the first Pizza Hut in, I wanna say in Russia. Was it Pizza Hut in Russia? Yes, it was Pizza Hut in, wait, or was it Germany? Hmm, now I'm thinking about like walls coming down. All right, so it was a European Pizza Hut. But I thought he mentioned Gorbachev. Okay, so we're going to say Russian Pizza Hut. And the hurdles that had to be overcome in order to make this happen. And it finally did happen. And it was great and everything was working. And then things beyond the franchise owner and the corporate's control. Basically things beyond corporate's control led to having to close the restaurant. So it worked really well for a number of years. And then they had to shut it down. And that's kind of like, I guess, right? Sometimes we do the thing to get it done. And we put it out there and it's rocking and rolling. And then things beyond our control, we have to shut it down or change it. And that's life. Life has changed. Life is not stand still. It's gonna be the same way every day. Sometimes it may feel like the McDonald's burger never changes. Or it may feel like the job you go to every day never changes, but life has changed. You are always changing. The things around you are always changing. The businesses you're involved in are always changing. Friendships are always changing. Change is a part of life. It is normal. The leaves outside are changing or the sand is changing. So yeah, my videos are what they are because I just need to get them done. And I am gonna go back to the editing. I've made some time in my schedule to find a way to go back to that old finish. And to edit some stuff. And videos are not the only thing in my life where I'm like, I need to apply the get it done philosophy. My website, I need to just focus on getting it done. My career as an artist, I need to just focus on getting it done, getting it out there. So I started going through these videos. I found some video clips where I looked at myself going, oh my God, I always tell my students, try, rehearse, do your best. Come on, you can do this. I'm always pushing my students to do their best. And the video that I can find is not me at my best. It's doable. It's presentable. But this isn't me at my best. And the thing that really bugs me is that there are projects that I participated in where I wasn't stressed out and I did excellent work. And those people never gave me back my footage. I got into it with one producer and I'm actually considering talking to a lawyer because I don't think that what they did was right. And then to say to me, you'll get it when you get it if we have anything to give you, I don't think it's okay. And then part of me says, eh, just put it on your IMDb and just move on. Like who the F cares, right? But there's also the principle of the matter. There's certain things that one shouldn't do. And when you look at different areas of the arts industry and how artists talk now about, yeah, you know, back in the day, as musicians, we used to just accept that this is the way things were done. But now we say, they really shouldn't have been like that. It's not okay to talk about, you know, 15 year olds virginity or it's not okay to give people contracts where they're making only one penny for every album that they sell or to offer a young person a million dollars upfront. But then say, you're gonna keep everything else, right? We gotta make sure we get our money back. By the way, you have to have, go tour all these things and take all these people with you. If we're taking the money for those people out of the money you make for being an athlete or being a musician, we're going to take the money as things go along. Even though now you're making millions and billions of dollars, the artist never sees it because the company says, oh no, we gotta pay for all these things, right? We insisted you had the best before now we have to make sure those are paid for. So there's just a number of areas where I feel like as an artist, as a business owner, as a woman, this should not be okay. And I need to speak up, but in speaking up, am I delaying myself from focusing on getting things done, just moving on? Is this the fight you fight? Is this the fight that you die on your sword for? Or do you just say, yeah, whatever, it is what it is, right? Cause I couldn't help someone else by fighting that fight or get me done, I don't know. But as you know, I need to get things done. I need to get more done and you probably should too. You're watching YouTube right now. No, I'm kind of kidding because I use YouTube for research all the time, all the time. And a lot of times I also find it inspirational. Like, ah, that is so cool. That person just overcame this obstacle. That is so cool. Or that person has a good organizational technique. I think I'll go try that, right? And so it prompts me to make a change. But I know that I also need to remind myself not to totally rely on external resources to get things done and not to use the research as an excuse to delay getting things done. So yeah, I gotta go edit some videos. I gotta go work on my taxes. I gotta go take a walk. I gotta go do things, drink a cup of water. Oh my goodness, the list is long. But it's gonna be fun. It's gonna, getting things done is gonna be fun. So figure out how are you gonna make it fun for yourself? How are you gonna make it fun for yourself to risk failing? It's something you gotta be comfortable with. It's not, oh, I might not, you might not love it. You're probably not gonna love it. Whatever it is that needs to get done, you're not gonna love it. That's okay. It's okay. So, all right. We don't love it, except that you don't love it. And then except that it's just gotta get done and it's gonna be what it's gonna be. And maybe, maybe we add to this process whether or not we're allowed to tweak it, touch it, or change it. But, oh, maybe that's the two. Okay, so you've touched it three times. It, I don't know, some kind of, now I was saying like within a day. Okay, you touch it three times, get it done within a day, and you have to wait two months before you're even allowed to think about it, touch it, change it again. I love it. I love it. Three, two, one. Three, one, two. I love it. Anyway, I love it, okay? Because this way it's gonna keep me from, oh, I just worked on that, but you know what? I just wanna change this one little thing because I'm like that, right? I just wanna fix this little thing. So, three, one, two. Three, two, one. One, two, three. One, two, three, let's get it done. Okay, my friend, I hope some of this was helpful. What did we learn today? What did we learn today, kids? We've learned don't trust somebody who says, I appreciate you, evil. We've learned that just because you call the police precinct when the cops show up at your house, they may have a different story. Just saying. We've learned that sometimes you just need to get it done. And you might be someone like me who has to put a policy in place and be like, okay, I cannot keep wasting energy, avoiding this or ignoring this or changing this just or waiting for perfection, doing the research. I just need to get it done and have a rule in place so that once it's done, it's done. You don't keep fiddling. All right, friends, this has been Rae with Get Real Rae and I hope you found a little of this helpful, inspirational. And until next time, peace. Thanks for listening. If you think this podcast would help a friend, then please feel free to share it with them. If you wanna check out some more Real Rae or just see me hang out with cute dogs, then feel free to visit me over on YouTube, Get Real Rae, 4273.