How Practicing Stillness Can Prevent a Stagnant Life

There's a really good song by Noah Cyrus, where she talks about being still. You should check it out. At first listen I was confused by the video,  but when I listened to just the words, I thought, this is a great poem or story or monologue. Even if you don't like the song, there's a lot to be learned from the lyrics.

Have a listen to Noah Cyrus' song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDd0Ps17LA4

To watch the video visit Get Real Rae

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Music: One Fine Day by Keep Calm Podcast

Transcript

[00:01-00:34]

When I turned 20, I was overcome With the thought that I might not turn 21 Death upon my doorstep, if I took one more step There'd be nothing left of me except these songs And my father told me, Noah, you don't know where you're going. Just stand still.

[00:34-00:55]

Soon you Pretty words, pretty words. But this episode is not about pretty words. It is about standing still.

[00:55-01:13]

Oh yeah. What's up? My name is Rae with Get Real Rae, a place and space for life and business tips from this creative soul to hopefully inspire you on your journey or at the very least provide you with some laughs. And so let's get real. Let's get real about stillness.

[01:13-02:07]

So.

[02:07-02:33]

It might seem a little strange coming from me, given that for those of you who are not new to this channel, you might feel like, hmm, she seems to have a lot going on. And, you know, I want to live a life where I have lived.

[02:34-02:55]

I have lived. I don't want for My years on earth to be the majority of that time spent watching TV or scrolling or wishing, wanting, oh, if only I could have, right? And that's a personal choice.

[02:55-04:01]

So there are some people who take great joy and watching TV or scrolling like that brings them great joy. And so to know that they spent the majority of their life watching TV or scrolling. just seems like but i spent my my existence the majority of my existence in great joy so that sounds like a life well lived to me and i i don't knock it right if that is great joy for you and you're able to live a life feeling fulfilled doing that and you know hopefully contribute somewhat to human existence society as a whole um maybe through acts of kindness or i don't know i don't know what you do uh i mean i guess don't be like some evil pirate sitting on a treasure that you didn't even get yourself.

[04:01-04:27]

Like you stole the treasure from someone else. Okay. And you are not nice to anybody and you try not to even talk to anybody. You're like, I'm going to be completely alone because I don't want anybody trying to take my treasure. And so you're the pirate and you're alone in your cave or ship or something with your treasure.

[04:27-05:00]

And then you're watching your TV and you're scrolling and that brings you great joy. Well, you stole that treasure. So you haven't contributed anything good to society other than the fact that you breathe and you're helping oxygen, carbon emissions. I don't know. I guess my point is live your life in a way that makes you feel like you're a good steward of your time.

[05:00-05:30]

Yeah, I'm not here to define that. But for me, being a good steward of my time means doing a lot of things. Now, to be fair, there are some things that I do that I'm like, that. But I feel like I got to do it because it's going to get me closer to doing something else that I want to do or it allows me to be able to do other things.

[05:30-06:13]

you know so like i don't really want to teach this class or something but gonna have to do it or i don't want to have to give this refund gonna have to do it because it's going to allow for me not to deal with that bad review that might come down the pipeline or um Or, you know, because I changed something and now maybe I changed the time because the class hasn't met the minimum number of students.

[06:14-06:36]

And so I'm offering them, would you like a different time when I have other students? Like, no, just refund. I kind of would be like, jerk, you don't deserve a refund. But honestly, okay. My rule is I'm not going to teach for peanuts. I'm not going to be making a dollar an hour.

[06:37-07:07]

So here's your refund. And I guess I should even start to really reframe that in my brain or do a better job of reframing that in my brain in terms of, well, I am more than happy to give you your refund because that is going to allow me to continue to honor my rules, which is I don't work for a dollar an hour. So that's what I mean by doing things that I don't really want to do.

[07:08-07:35]

For you, that might be like I've seen my kid play soccer two hundred times. And I don't really want to go to another soccer party where the kids are all eating pizza. I don't like any of those parents. I love my kid, but their team keeps losing. But I know my kid wants to go to the soccer party, so I'm going to do It's going to make my kid happy.

[07:35-07:50]

That parent can reframe it in the brain of I am so thrilled that even though my kids team keeps losing, my kid is really stoked to go to this party. So I just love that I get to take my kids to this party.

[07:50-08:58]

Aces, high 5 score, best memories ever. Yeah, I do a lot and you might do a lot too. So what's up with stillness? Well, I have been doing a lot of house sits in California and California has really nice weather and so it's unless you're dealing with like the holidays a lot of people don't go away for months it's just not they're like no the weather's fine here all right i'm good i'm good um and getting long houses in nice places can can seem like a huge task so there's been a lot of moving from place to place to place and that in and of itself does take a toll it does on me um It's on my car.

[08:58-09:38]

I'm trying to really keep a lot of the sits close together. My first year with house sitting, I didn't mind going from state to state. But traveling from state to state also impacts my work, all my work. I have to be able to keep track of time zones and the amount of travel time as well. If I'm trying to factor in flights into my schedule, that means that's time that I am not working.

[09:38-10:28]

and generating money through that work. If I have to do a long drive, I really get a little frustrated when I see house sits where someone wants you to come, like on a Tuesday or Wednesday, in the middle of the day and i'm thinking you may be retired and so you're going away um and you get that cheaper flight during the week but a lot of sitters are not retired and so it's difficult to be available during the week to start that sit um or to finish a sit midday on a work day, because that's disruptive to their work.

[10:28-11:01]

so with all of that, i have really been feeling like, oh great, another change, another place, and there have been a number of sits where it's only 4 days, or maybe it is a week, but the parking is insane, and so it's really a hassle to get All of my bathroom basket and my suitcase all into the apartment, along with the material that I need for work.

[11:01-11:30]

So maybe I just bring 2 things with me into the apartment. And so all of this bouncing around, juggling work, juggling where I'm staying- It's definitely left me feeling like, ah, I'm Russian, I'm Russian And I've enjoyed these house sits. But it wasn't until recently where I was.

[11:30-12:10]

I actually had a house sit where the I could tell that the couple really It took a. I could tell that It took a lot for them to just feel good. That was just the impression that I got, like they were really sweet people, but I got the impression that maybe they were one or more partners, was possibly recovering from something or had a past history of something, and just really worked hard to create a space where they felt encouragement around them at all times.

[12:10-12:49]

that's great. um, so I could not knock them for the things that made the sit less ideal for me, like, oh, I'm stepping on kitty litter. well, um, they probably can't afford one of those rumba, you know, vacuum things and they've got mats to catch kitty litter. but they probably also didn't think to sweep right before they left as well, and not everyone was raised that way.

[12:49-13:19]

um, some people were raised that way, but it takes more energy that they have to do that action of sweeping and for some people they just oblivious, they just don't notice. so, with all of that being said, um, i didn't shower for a couple of days, like i was looking at the towels, like, are these clean towels or not?

[13:19-13:46]

and then to get over to where to do the laundry. i just i can't. i can't, i just i just can't be bothered. i would rather just not shower. um, and i'm just gonna be Having to figure things out. And after I left that house, sick because the parking was all over the place Enjoyed, you know, pets whatnot.

[13:47-14:13]

But I was so thrilled to go to the gym and take a shower Like. That gym shower just felt like the most amazing thing ever. I was like, yes, I haven't been to the gym in about a month because I've been in these different locations where my gym isn't even near some of these house sits Or the parking's.

[14:13-14:37]

so crazy that leaving my parking spot would just be a disaster. So I'm better off using whatever kettlebells they have in the house and making it work. so that gym shower was like: oh man, this is the best like. i did not want to leave the gym shower and then i felt weird because i didn't even have time to do any of the exercise equipment.

[14:37-14:56]

i just had time to shower and then i had to get back in my car. um was supposed to go record some stuff in a studio and that completely fell apart and It felt like just a series of unfortunate events. So I told myself: have the information in your Google Calendar before you go.

[14:56-15:12]

Take another look at the PDF they sent you and download the PDF. Well, I wound up switching computers shortly before I had it out, But I'm talking about a problem. I've got the most relevant stuff in my Google Calendar.

[15:12-15:35]

I have the address, but, lo and behold, when I got to the address I couldn't see the garage. I couldn't see a way to get in. I'm trying to get on my phone onto this website and the website is not opening on my phone. It's telling me I'm not a human. It's loading so slowly.

[15:35-15:58]

So then I turn my phone into a hotspot and get it onto the computer And I'm like: do I have this PDF on the computer? Okay, I think I uploaded to my Google Drive. Well, let me go ahead and just Get into my Google Drive. I don't remember the name of the document. Great, Okay, let me get into the website from the computer, which did work, but it was loading really slowly. So it took me over 20 minutes.

[15:58-16:17]

I even called my mom. I was like I need you to get on your computer. Like, I'm thinking I might have to tell her how to get into my account to then give me this information. But, lo and behold, I got the information. There's this dog barking at me and I'm looking at this document. It's got all these arrows and pictures.

[16:17-16:45]

There's nothing looking like the place I'm supposed to find. Someone comes out to quiet the dog and he's like: oh yeah, you have to go in the back alley. and I'm like what The back alley Make this story a little bit faster. I do make it around the corner. My class starts in 2 minutes. I could not get into the space even though I went to the back alley. I wound up like in the driveway on the ground teaching this class and i was lucky.

[16:46-17:15]

it was a very warm day. i was lucky that the internet in the back alley was much better than the internet that was on the other side, like the front side of the house. um, of course i could not connect to their internet. there was no internet information given to me. i later find out that there was a code that was around the corner of some drain pipe on the side of the building that had no number in this back alley.

[17:15-17:39]

And I'm like: gracious, what on earth. And so I'm like I can't do this anymore And I canceled my booking. And so all of that is just. i wound up finding a park to teach in that had blazing fast internet and i was like, yes, this park, oh i is, i could teach over here any day of the week, as long as there's light outside. i mean i was, i was loving that park.

[17:39-18:02]

i'm like too bad. i have to get into my car and go to this house. that's supposed to be nice. i'm loving this park. and so that shower at the gym felt great And then the shower at the house felt even better. I found myself taking all my bags out of the car And I'm like: ooh, do I really want to take these bags out?

[18:03-18:22]

I mean I'm only here a week And I'm like: take the bags out, Reorganize your stuff. You have shampoo. You didn't even get to shampoo your hair at the gym. You can shampoo your hair here. And I took my time shampooing. I took my time in the shower And everything felt good.

[18:22-18:47]

And then I said: okay, you got to get online, You got to work, You got to make some money, because I missed out on some money the past few days. Got to make some money. I said, you know what I'm going to be still just for a minute longer, just for a minute longer. And recently I discovered a podcast, Think Like an Economist, which I'm really enjoying, These bite-sized nuggets.

[18:47-19:14]

I'm so glad these episodes are short, because if they weren't short I might not succeed. But everything is designed to be really simple, really short and just enjoyable. So, From the economist's view, what's the cost of me not going online to teach those classes?

[19:14-19:34]

And what's the cost of me wanting to stay still for another minute? Like, can I, How much would it cost for me to stay still for a minute longer? And when I say stay still, I mean how much would my peace cost? And probably must be like priceless. My piece is priceless.

[19:35-20:10]

But in taking the time to pause, to stop running, even though you got a million and one things to do or even though you feel like a million and one things are happening right, Like that whole fiasco of trying to do the studio, Sometimes it's good to just stay still and just know you know what something's going to work out.

[20:10-20:50]

Now some people might be like: oh, trust in God. i say trust that if you keep trying for the right thing if you keep trying to reach your goal then sometimes you will do more harm than continuing to rush or push um think about if you were wanting to build a house.

[20:50-21:19]

You wanted to build a house and you had your wood and your hammer and your nails and you knew you had to finish this house before the next storm. But you haven't slept in over 24 hours. You're starting to drop nails. ......... Some of the wood looks a little warped. Some of it looks like it might even have termites. Are you actually making things better by continuing to build this house?

[21:19-21:37]

......... Or do you need to take a pause, drink a cup of tea, coffee, juice, soda? Don't drink a Red Bull and keep working on that house. You're going to have all kinds of problems with your house. The beam is going to be all crooked and stuff.

[21:37-22:01]

But maybe if you just take a pause and Consider what are my other options? Or just do something else for just a minute. Just do something else. Like I really need to finish this house. But you know what, I'm gonna take a minute to just feel the wind against my face or look up at the stars.

[22:02-22:33]

And then with that little mental shift, now I can rethink, okay, Do I have the energy? Am I getting a second wind to keep working on this house right now and trusting that I'm not going to use the beams that are warped or the wood that is termites, but I'm going to go work on installation right now or something? Or do I feel like doing any more work right now would be a bad idea.

[22:33-23:02]

I need to wait until morning and I need to get some more wood when the store is open. So right now I'm gonna sleep. That's okay too. And so there are times in my business where I get frustrated and I'm like, oh my gosh, I just need to finish this website. I just need to fix this. I just need to finish this course. And then there are times when I just have to trust, you know what?

[23:02-23:21]

This course is not even looking good. Or the sound quality on that episode is so bad. And you've, on like take 10. It's not working right now. Take a pause. Take a pause.

[23:21-24:03]

Is that that you're giving up? Is that your failure? ......... Just take a pause. Come back to it a little later. and then boom knock it out of the park oh yeah or oh my gosh i have a much better idea for this course now i know what it needs so that's that's the thing my friends that's the thing how do you know when to take a pause i can't fully tell you that I would say that a good signal to take a pause is when you feel like a lot of bad things are happening or things are not happening the way they should.

[24:04-24:24]

That's a good signal to be like, let's slow down. If you're feeling like you don't have time to think, you don't have, you're drinking your coffee, but you don't even know what it tastes like. That might be a time to take a pause.

[24:24-25:03]

Yeah. Or you haven't seen your friends in a while. You're just feeling cranky. That might be a good time to take a pause. maybe maybe maybe okay but maybe your friends have just been not available or maybe maybe you just like being cranky all right my friends well i hope you found this somewhat useful i am going to go finish my pedicure and then i'm going to go online and do some work because this pause has helped me feel like yeah I'm going to love working today.

[25:03-25:22]

Oh, yeah, it's going to be fun. Until next time. Peace. Thanks for listening. If you think this podcast would help a friend, then please feel free to share it with them. If you want to check out some more Real Ray or just see me hang out with cute dogs, then feel free to visit me over on YouTube. Get Real Rae 4, 2, 7,.