Episode 038: Breaking Limiting Beliefs and Rebuilding Identity Part 2 with Rick Torrison

Purpose Driven Success with Mo Salami

Episode 038: Breaking Limiting Beliefs and Rebuilding Identity Part 2 with Rick Torrison

In this episode of Purpose Driven Success with Mo Salami, transformational coach and USA Today best-selling author Rick Torrison explores what it truly means to live a 'limitless life.' From identity and self-worth to breaking free from limiting beliefs, Rick breaks down why most people stay stuck in the stories they tell themselves and how to rewrite them.

We dive deep into purpose, personal transformation, and the mindset shifts required to move from success to significance. Rick also shares practical tools, daily practices, and frameworks like declarations and identity alignment that help people create change they seek.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, doubted your potential, or questioned your purpose, this episode will challenge how you see yourself and what’s possible moving forward.

Ready to perform at your highest level predictably and sustainably?

If this episode resonated with you, this is the work I do privately with a select group of clients; helping them turn intention into measurable, exponential results in their business and life.

I work 1:1 with ambitious leaders and growth-driven professionals committed to operating at an elite standard.

Request your complimentary private strategy session today. Spots are intentionally limited to ensure high-touch, high-caliber support.

Apply now at mosalami.com/freecall.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

The process of transformation is a process and a journey. Revelation's in an instant. Transformation is the work. And you didn't get to the dysfunction overnight. You won't get necessarily to the freedom of new behaviors that are in your DNA that are wrote overnight either. So give yourself grace. Take a breath. Understand it's a process and you're not going to be perfect. But don't quit because you failed. Don't let guilt, shame, criticism, or condemnation overwhelm you when you set your mind to do something different, and then you wake up and you go right back to an old behavior and do something that you didn't want to do. You're learning. Hit reset, get up, and go back at it. Give yourself some grace.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Welcome to purpose-driven success with Mo Salami, where real journeys, mindset shifts, and strategic insights meet purpose-driven success. I'm your host, Mo Salami. Every week we dive into real conversations with high-achieving founders and leaders, uncovering the mindset, strategies, and takeaways that help you define and achieve success on your own terms. Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is part two of the episode Breaking Limiting Beliefs and Rebuilding Identity with Rick Torreson. Let's jump straight back in. We're hoping to shift from a limited life to a limitless identity. What should change first? Our belief systems, our habits, or the environment, would you say?

SPEAKER_03 1:47

Sometimes it's hard to change the environment. If you can change your environment, because environment's powerful, but it is what it is. That's out of our control. We can adjust things in the environment, but we don't necessarily have the ability to change certain things about our life. We can't change our family. We can't change our experiences, right? So I would think really what we need to do in that process is it's the stories that we tell ourselves. What we need to change first is the narratives. We need to be willing and choose to challenge our normal. It all begins with the fact of looking in there and going, I wonder if that belief I have, I wonder if that thing I've been doing over and over for the last five years, 20 years, 30 years. I wonder if that's true. You know, I've been carrying this situation in my life where my parents got divorced, or my mom did this, or a sibling did this, or whatever a boss did this, right? I've been carrying that for a long time and I've kind of superimposed. I'm wondering if that's shaped what I believe and what I think about bosses, or what I think about relationship, right? So it all begins with the stories that we tell ourselves and being willing to challenge them. And here's the thing the thing about it that's not risky that I would tell everyone, don't worry about it. Because if you end up right back where you already were and it was a true story and everything was real, then you haven't lost anything. You're just anchored into, no, that's real. That that is true. But what if that narrative and that story that you're telling yourself isn't based in truth? What if it's actually a lie? What if it's actually holding you back? You won't know that unless you challenge it. And then once you find out that it's actually a limitation, wouldn't you want to do something about it? Now that you know it, like, oh my gosh, this really doesn't have to be that way. And then that's where people like you come in, where I would say, hey, reach out to Mo, sit down with him, because he's going to help you take that realization and expose it for what it is and help you rebuild something that's transformational and leads a significant life. Find someone who knows how to then help you reframe the story, create a new narrative and new declarations, and help you walk out the reality you were always meant to live.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

So, Rick, for yourself, when you moved across from limited to limitless, what did that look like in real terms, in practical terms, in terms of your day-to-day decisions?

SPEAKER_03 4:27

It took a lot of pressure off. Because sometimes when when we first hear that idea of limited to limitless, we start thinking stuff and things. We start thinking goals and objectives and bigger this and larger businesses and all that. And that's fine. But that's all still limited because it's passing away. All of that limitless idea that we typically go to about stuff and things, that's not what I'm talking about. Because those things are all fading. They're good, but they don't go with you. They don't leave an impact. They're not significant in the long term, eternal term. They're just significant in the moment, which is good. Nothing wrong with those things. When I realized the pursuit of limitless was not a pursuit of position, title, or things. It was actually a posture of a belief of the impact and influence I could have. It took pressure off to achieve, to accomplish. Not that I didn't want that. I'm still, I still go after that. It's still important to me, but I realized that's not the end. That's not the goal. The goal is the greatest joy I have when I'm coaching or working with people is when they get an aha. When you're talking to them and they go, Oh, I get it. I see that now. It's the place when information becomes revelation. Because when revelation happens, we get that aha moment, the potential of everything to change in a sustainable way, a real way, becomes powerful. We all have information. Information doesn't lead to change. We have to have the knowledge, but it's not powerful in itself. But that information that becomes revelation gives us the potential to change everything because now I own it. It makes sense to me. I mean, you ever heard someone say something over and over and over? And parent, a teacher, a preacher, they say all these things, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then another person, Tony Robbins, says it, and you go, Oh my God. Or a Mo says it, Mo Salami says it. I went, I've heard this a thousand times. But when he said it, it clicked. That's revelation. And when you get revelation, everything changes. So my revelation of this idea of limitless, when that clicked, and it wasn't about stuff and things and positions and titles, it was actually about a posture and influence and impact in a life. Pressure, it was like, whoo, wait a minute. It's not about me. It's about me living into the fullness of who I am. It's about being confident about what I do. It's about declaring truth, not lies or trying to build something that isn't true, but just declaring truth and now giving that away. Without pressure, without I don't need to build something. I don't need to. My joy is having this conversation with you. There's no pressure in it. And so the pressure of life to be something, to be someone, to do something, to achieve something, it's shifted. It didn't go away. I want to do something, be something, build something. I do want that. There's nothing wrong with that. But that's not the tip of my spear. That's not what drives me. That's the outcome. I will do something, be someone, build something as an outcome of what I do internally, of this idea of no, I am limitless, which means I can believe and think what I choose. I can act in a way that I desire, and there's no limit to that. Because everyone says limitless. I'm not born limitless. I can't do anything. And I said, No, you're you're missing, you're thinking it in terms of tactical stuff, right? Or physical ability. I'll never be a professional basketball player. I am limited in that. I don't have the skills, the ability, the height, the stature. I'm limited there. That's nothing wrong with that. It's not what I'm talking about. It's not this manifestation conversation, right? Okay, well, I'm just gonna manifest. I do believe that we can manifest things, but not like the world defines it, right? Where you're like, I'm just gonna be this thing. I'm gonna talk myself into being an NBA basketball player. I used to think that. No, I'm not. I I just it's not can't do that. I'm I don't have that skill set. I can think it all day long, but when I go out, I just I just don't have that ability. That's okay. It's different. That's where the difference is in this whole mindset thing, right? Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 8:44

It does. And we're going from information to revelation to transformation. So I love that. I definitely have a tiny bit of a bugbear about this whole manifestation as well, because for sure, let's manifest the weight. We we mentioned at the top of this call about really feeding your subconscious mind so your conscious mind shows up in a different way. And sometimes we can go a little bit left with this manifestation because then it becomes let's manifest harder, let's manifest with Rick. Rick, let's let's have a bunch of other people come on this call with manifest even more, manifest higher, wider, longer, stronger. Help us, forgive us. This is such a mess. At some point, and and you can also reiterate this to me right now. I had a conversation with someone about this probably a year ago or similar, and there's that point where sure, let's do the manifestation, but you also have to get out there, get the coaches, get the expertise, put it in the graph, get just get something done. There must be a part of the Bible that speaks to this. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Yeah, it's and the whole thing, Mo, the reality is we need that's when I say that word sometimes. I catch myself because I know that the impact that word has in so many different ways. And so when I talk about manifesting, what I mean is it's all about the power of our words, our sub everything you said. We do have the ability based on what we believe, we manifest an outcome based on our beliefs. And so if we want to manifest a new outcome, we have to adjust our beliefs. We can't sit there and go, I want a million dollars, I want a million dollars, and it's gonna show up somewhere. Like we're gonna magic. This isn't magic, this isn't hocus pocus, this isn't that the really the dark side of that where people use it to their own gain. What I'm talking about, what you're talking about, what we've given our lives to, is how do we manifest in our lives the potential and greatness that we were called to do and be by adjusting the belief system, the subconscious, and aligning the subconscious and the conscious with the truth of our identity, value, and worth. Then the outcome is the changed life, behaviors, building a business, whatever it might be. There's a lot of scripture that talks about our core identity, but it talks about, especially in Proverbs, the power of our words. I go back to that scripture. You want to manifest something, think about the words you're speaking. You said it. Be good to yourself by the words, speak life over yourself, because your words are powerful, and your words will manifest energy, belief, relationships by the things I speak. So let's make it real tactical. Let's take that word and bring it to reality and truth, not to some mystical thing that if we all get together and just believe strong enough that somehow it's going to change the weather and we won't have a hurricane.

unknown 11:44

I mean.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

And this is really important. If you're listening to this and you're someone that believes in manifestation, we're not saying manifestation is not for the best. For sure it is. But what we are saying, and I'm saying this from a non-faith way, but what we are saying is in addition to manifestation, it's really important to sow in order to reap. You know, it's really important to do what needs to be done for however long it needs to be done for the potential of human beings are limited. You can achieve anything more or less in a five-year span. You've got to get out there in addition to just manifestation.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

It's so important that you said that because we make this assumption. You and I make the assumption that we understand there's work involved. None of this happens because I sit back and do. But then we got to remember there's a world out there that hears some of this and and how they interpret it in their own experiences. And I'm like, you're right, Mo, we need to make sure we're clear. There is a role that we play in everything we've said today, in everything I've said. Nothing in what we have said says sit back, believe something, declare something, and watch it happen. I have got a role to play and an expectation to engage and step into life, be present and work and do the stuff, but do it from a right heart, right posture, right identity, right belief. And you know, then the outcomes, whatever they are, take care of themselves. So man, I just yeah, it's so good. So you just kind of make an assumption. Oh, yeah, we all understand that. No, I don't know if we all do. I don't, I always didn't.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

And again, please understand that we're saying this from a place of love. You know, manifestation's great. And if you don't believe us, there's a lady called Rihanna, she has a whole song called Work, Work, Work, Work, Work. So go listen to that. It's so awful. I want to share something, Rick, that just came to my mind, which is this. For anyone that knows my backstory, if you listen to this podcast, you most probably do. I wound up discovering personal development via Jack Canfield, the success principles. If anyone has a connect to Jack, by the way, having reached out, we need to do that interview. But found out about personal development via the success principles, literally in a moment, just like that. Like I was from a world of sciences, did great things there, discovered the success principles. After that, my outcome was who's the best at the things I want to get better at. I'm trying to make this really short. Wound up with Team Cloney Robbins for a period of time. And I got curious, Rick. I I wondered one day. So let me preface it. So when I was at Team Cony, all the courses that you see, I've done them like 50 times. Five-zero, every single one, if it's an audio, if it's an in-person, if it's firewalk-in, if it's the business course, all of them, and then top-level high-ticket selling, done all that stuff. And my standard was that if Rick Corrison's in front of me as a client, for example, I want to be sure that I'm the very best I can be. So hence reading all that stuff. I read a thousand business personal development texts as well. And I got curious one day, how did Tony Robbins become Tony Robbins? So, of course, read all of his books as well, including all the courses. Then I went to Tony's mentor, Jim Roan, and I studied Jim Rohn in detail, in incredible detail. Then I said, Well, how did Jim Rohn become Jim Rohn? So I studied his mentor, Eric Scho, in detail. Then I said, wait a minute, how did Eric Schoaf become Eric Schoaf? So I studied his mentor, James Breckridge Jones, in detail, you know, you can count to four. And I said, How did James Breckridge Jones? How did Jim Jones become Jim Jones? And I studied his mentor, then his mentor, then his mentor. And I wound up at the Bible. I wound up at the Bible. I was like, I need to understand something because a lot of my foundation comes from El Nightingale as well. The strangest secret, and his whole thing about you're 25 years old, you have all this energy and talent and skill. And I use that word again, energy, because there's so much of it. But then 4%, and that number is generous. When we dig in, achieve at 65 what they set out to do at 25, and that 4% is generous because the actual number is less than 1% who achieve their limitless potential. And again, studying all of these different people, I wound up at the Bible. And again, this isn't or wasn't intended to be a faith episode. And my listeners, you'll understand that listening to this, I always say, take from it what you want, you know, this this episode. And but it's so interesting. And Rick, I just want to get your take on this as well, on what you think about that. And it's so interesting that when we go to all these giants, you know, in his time, Jim Rohn is a giant. Eric Schoff, Tony, Robbins. I mentioned Earl Nightingale. More or less. He's more or less the the father, father, father, father, you know, greats that built this whole council development industry that we're in now. You mentioned John Maxwell. You mentioned John Maxwell, all of these. And it's so interesting in and amongst the thousand like when I say books, I speak five languages. So if I read the one thing in English, then I read it in Spanish, and I read it in French, that's one reading. That's just once. So again, I just want to get your take. That was such a big setup piece, but I just wanted to get your take on the fact that all of this led back to the Bible.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Wow. Um that's weird.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

You hit this hit me very emotionally. Because I halfway through your going down the list of mentors, I knew exactly where you were gonna end up. At the Bible, and it's not the Bible, the book, it's the Bible, the person, it's the Bible, the relationship, it's the Bible that takes us to an encounter at its very core, its very essence is identity, value, worth that every human already is a person of value. They just don't know it, and then life happens, and things happen, and stories are told, and we go down a road that's unfortunate, that just takes us away from that core thing, that god hole that we're trying to get back to. Am I worthy? Do I have value? Am I okay? Does anyone see me? Do you hear me? Am I love worthy to be loved? You don't know all I've been through and all I've done, and I just can't, and I'll never, and I won't, and I'm not. And all along in that, Mo is a voice that is not demanding, a voice that is not manipulative, a voice that is not forcing anything, but a voice that's constantly saying, You're my son, you're my daughter, you already are. The fullness of who I am is yours. And so when you look at personal development and growth, you look at the whole thing we all talk about, we all trace it back to belief and identity and value and worth. But where does that initially come from? Where does it begin? Where is that first source that we are trying to get back to? Where does our identity come from? It's got to come from somewhere. And from me, and and it sounds like from you as well. And I discovered not my life. I wasn't bought in it, brain, born in it, raised in it, taught it, no denomination, it was my discovery. And that was that verse that said, Listen, I knit you together in your mother's womb. I knew your name before you were ever thought about. And then I was born out of wedlock in the 60s in a situation that was not good. Both of my children, Mo, were conceived in rape. My adopted kids, both of the birth moms were raped. And you know, that could do a lot about someone's identity, value, and worth. In fact, that's why my son got so angry and violent, was suicidal, is because he discovered and found out he was conceived in rape. And so he just determined my identity, mom and dad, my identity will be found in my mom and dad. And my father, my birth father, was a violent man, an angry man, and he raped my mother. So therefore, I'll identify with my mom and this birth father. So I must be his identity. I must be a violent man. I was not meant to be. I was created in anger and rage. So his identity began to align with that. And we he's healthy now, he's 30, he's an amazing young man. I love him. But it was a battle because he had to realign his identity. He said, son, you're right. They were vessels. It wasn't right what happened. Your mom, but God had a promise that said, when a man and God, we're going deep here, when a man and a woman come together, that I give life into that space and life is born, but that life is not theirs. That life was my identity before it was ever placed in the womb. So your identity wasn't found in the circumstances of your conception or birth. Your identity was set well before that. And I'm calling you to align with the identity I called and created you to be, not the identity you've aligned with of a violent man and a victim mom. That's not your identity. Your identity was set long before that. So I man, we went deep, but it's so powerful that whatever people believe, it's okay. But this is what drives me. This is like there is something greater in you, and I know you may not see it, and your life may not tell that story. But before your life ever was, the story was already told about you. So who are we going to align with? The world that wants to kill, steal, and destroy, or a creator that said, I've made you in my image and it's good and valuable and worthy. Now I just need you to agree with me. And if you'll agree with me, everything else will doesn't mean the world's going to be easy and life won't happen and loss won't happen, and evil and darkness and danger and brokenness don't exist because it does. But how you go through it, how you see it changes. Man, you just went to a deep place, man. I mean, I just you just summed it all up at the core of everything. It starts in that place, and like it's not about a book, it's not about a Bible book, it's about the story in the book, where it all began with future and hope and destiny in mind.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Well, pass the play. Thanks for sharing that, Rick.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

That was outstanding. That was so such an amazing share. And we all have tools and frameworks, and you have some really great ones, you know, your limitless life blueprint and the coaching work that you do. And what patterns do you see that hold people back from this limitless life? Is it the identity piece? What's the common pattern that holds people back when you first encounter them?

SPEAKER_03 24:37

I think it's pretty universal. We've talked about it a lot, but it's easy to overlook. The common pattern in all of us that holds us back is the stories that we tell ourselves. It's a narrative, it's a stories. Stories are powerful. We know that we're attracted to it. People that tell good stories, we're in tune. We are storytellers internally. And the pattern that we all share is we are telling ourselves a story and creating a narrative that isn't based in reality. I mean, think about when stuff happens and we start thinking about something that looks like it may not go well, where does our mind go? To the worst case possibility. It doesn't go to the, oh, this is bad, but it's going to get great. Our mind typically goes, oh, this doesn't look good, it's going to be terrible. And then we live in that space, right? It's the story that we tell ourselves. I mean, that's that's my story. That's my journey. It's if I want to get to the heart of it, it's the story I'm telling myself. Now, it may be based on experience and all these things that I can validate and justify, but it's still a story, it's a narrative.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

So outside of outside of breakthroughs, how do you keep your minds aligned?

SPEAKER_03 26:44

I love retreats and weekends and the firewall. I mean, everything Tony does, those moments, because they're we call them in the coaching road pattern interrupts, right? They're disruptors. And we need disruptors, those moments to cause us to think differently, believe differently, do differently. But sustainability is the issue, right? And so really it's creating frameworks and patterns and tools that we use to help us. We've got amazing things in our lives and challenging things in our lives. So let's think about challenging stuff in our life and belief systems. We did not wake up one day in that mindset and belief. Over decades, 20 years, I was living in a way till it man it manifested, it showed up in a way that I saw it with the woman I wanted to marry. Well, I got the revelation. We talked about information, revelation, transformation, but the space between revelation and transformation is the work. Because just because I have the revelation doesn't mean I wake up the next day and life is different and I never do the thing again. I don't think about it, I don't act that way. I have got behaviors that are ingrained, that are natural, I don't think about, that I just do, that aren't healthy. So I have to create mechanisms, tools, relationships, change my environment, coaching, whatever it is that help build consistency over time with these new beliefs. I keep this bracelet on. I usually wear a bunch of them, I'll give them to people. But anytime I have a negative thought or I go somewhere, I grab my bracelet and I'd snap my wrist. I'm like, time out, hang on. I will, I can, I am. That's not who I am. It doesn't ever change. I don't ever get past that. There's always these things that are warring inside of me for something that isn't for me. And so I have to continually have tools, resources, trigger things that I do. My environment of my office. This environment of my office that we just redid, when I look around, I find life in it. So when my mind wants to go to a negative place, I can look at certain things and stories and remind myself, wait a minute, that's not who I am. It may be who I was, but it's not who I am. And so we've got to build new behavior patterns, which is why coaching is so important. And when I coach with people, most of the clients I have, I've been with for years, not because they're so broken, but because they know the consistency that there's always something else that they're working through and they need that someone to pull back the blinders. Like, remember those horses, you know, they had the the blinders on so they could stay focused.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Well, in our lives, we live our lives with blinders. Right. And so part of what coaching does and building teams and people around is they pull back the blinders so that you can actually see everything and understand where the change needs to happen, what you need to do, how you need to engage. And so the process of transformation is a process and a journey. Revelations in an instant. Transformation is the work. And you didn't get to the dysfunction overnight. You won't get necessarily to the freedom of new behaviors that are in your DNA that are wrote overnight either. So give yourself grace. Take a breath, understand it's a process and you're not going to be perfect. But don't quit because you failed. Don't let guilt, shame, criticism, or condemnation overwhelm you when you set your mind to do something different, and then you wake up and you go right back to an old behavior and do something that you didn't want to do. You're learning. Hit reset, get up, and go back at it. Give yourself some grace.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Love it, love it. So just to reiterate what you said there information is everywhere, revelation hits in an instant. Voila. And then transformation is continuous. I guess the reason I wanted to reiterate this is of course, we live in a snack culture. Learn and do whatever you want in an instant, learn a language in a week, achieve everything you want by the end of the you know, the day or the next day. So again, I just want to reiterate that's so important that that transformation piece is a continual journey where you learn to love and appreciate and reframe your victories in the moment, in addition with the victory at the end of the at the end of the line, as it were, uh, end of your success journey, as it were. So I just really want to reiterate that for the listener. How does someone they have in their mind that they have a calling that's more than themselves, and they've discovered that, which is huge because not many people do. How do they stay aligned with their purpose when the motivation fades away?

SPEAKER_03 31:32

Yeah, it's good. So I think the big the the I would kind of back up a step with that. The key is defining and understanding your purpose. Right? And Simon Sinek talks about the why, and we have all this vision and all that, but I don't work with an organization or an individual where we don't do three things on the front end. We write their life's purpose, get it very clear, their core values, the non-negotiables of their lives, and how they define leadership. Those are the three kind of things that I want on the front end because that I want to coach them through those things. If this is your purpose, then when you're talking to me, I want to I want to hear you and listen to you and see how you're living your life that is leading you towards your purpose. And a purpose isn't what we do, a purpose is the result of what we do, the impact and influence of what we do, that legacy that we desire to have. And I don't think you're ever too young to start thinking about the impact you want your life to have, that purpose. Right. And so I think to do what you just said, to go through that, the first thing we have to do is make sure do we have a clear and emotional of feeling, a purpose that that we can go, man, if the end of my life, that's what I'm looking down on and going, this is what it was accomplished, would that be a good life? Would I feel like I've lived a good life? Not the things I did, but the impact I had. And you go, yeah. Now there's I don't need to create motivation for that and find some motivation. The motivation is achieving that purpose in itself. So now what I do is I come back and I go, okay, so the motivation is what will a life look like if I live that purpose every day? Not what I do, but the impact of what I do. And then what will be the loss if I don't? So there's my motivation, the motivation that drives me. So negative motivation is powerful, but we can't live there. You can't sustain transformation from a negative motivation. But it's the one that usually gets us up out of our seat to change is like, oh, I'm gonna lose this or that's gonna happen if I don't change. So knowing if I don't fulfill my purpose, if I don't live into my purpose, what would be the cost to me, my family, my loved ones, my relationships, my business, the world, right? That's important to be able to tangibly understand that. And then what is the benefit? What happens to me, my family, my loved ones, my business if I'm living into my purpose? What how does that impact? So that's motivation, right? And that I keep coming back to to remind me when life gets hard. Because it isn't hard when we sit, you and I are talking, and people are going to leave here motivated to go, man, I'm gonna go get this. And then life happens, the gut punch comes, someone does something, something unexpected, and now we go, oh, wait a minute. Oh, I don't. And we have to fight going down this road. And if we don't have a clear purpose and the motivation and our values, we will get stuck chasing that road till we get to some pit. And it's really hard to get out of unless, and it's still we might go there, and but we just don't want to live there. How do we not live there? How do we get out? We have a clear purpose, so that's gotta be defined. And again, people are thinking purpose and what they're I gotta, what do I do? What is my calling? What am I meant to do? And I'm like, there's something greater than what you do. What you do can be figured out, but what is your purpose in what you do? Because it's how you'll do what you do, and that's where the values come in. What are your values that guide your decisions in your life and how you say yes and no to things that are non-negotiable? That saves you from a lot of pits and a lot of mistakes if you clearly have aligned your values. So those things are critical to then live out and experience that life.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Thanks for that, Cher Rick.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

And I can't believe I'm gonna use this word, but purpose. There you go. What do you say to the person that just believes in this is how it's supposed to be, that's how it's supposed to be? They just have this like practical mindset. Is it okay so they go away and come back to you with the thought that there's a that there are possibilities outside of that? Or would you initially work with them on that? Or is that for them to go work with someone else on that piece, and then let's find come back and then let's now work on the fact that anything is possible. Just interested in getting your take on that, because some people go, Oh, all this purpose stuff, or this, you know, life goes life goes like this and like that, and then you go to college, then you retire at a certain age, and then you do this, and that's it. There is no outside of that.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

Yeah. So, I mean, it's for me, it's pretty simple with the with that. With if someone's coming to me with that conversation, the first thing I'm gonna ask them, and the first thing I'm gonna go is, are you willing to challenge that? I know that's what you believe, I know that's what your experience has been, I know that's what you've anchored into, and you're bringing that to me. Are you willing to go on a journey of challenging that belief system and that reality? Would you allow yourself to think that maybe that mindset and that view that you have, that isn't how life is supposed to be, that isn't all there is, that isn't the extent of it. Would you be willing to challenge that? If they're not willing to challenge it, honestly, with integrity, willing to go, let me place it on the table and it's up for grabs. If they're not willing to do that, I'll say, hey, when you're willing to do that, let me know. Part of the question is, how's that going for you? How is being lord of your own life in this process? Are you happy with that? Is that good? They don't typically say, Yeah, I'm happy with it. It's good. They say, Well, it's just it is what it is. That's just life. I said, That's not what I asked you. Are you happy with that? Are you satisfied with that? It's like, are you okay with that? If that's all that it is, it is, it is, it'll never, is that is that okay? Well, of course I am because that's all there could be. No, no, you're not hearing my question. I'm not asking you to justify accepting it because that's what you've experienced. I'm asking you, are you okay with that? What if there was something greater? What if the impact was lower? What if that would that interest you? Would you go, that would be cool if, but my experiences say it's not. Okay. But would you be interested if this line of thought that you have actually wasn't an end in itself? They have to be willing to have that conversation. Once they come back, once they do that and they say, okay, I'm willing to challenge the normal, I'm willing to have this conversation. Then we can start the coaching work of going, okay, let's find out where this understanding came from. What is the system and the process that has happened in your life over and over? And I'm not talking about deep psychology and therapy and counseling. I think that's important. I think there's places for that. But I think we can do a lot of work before we have to go to some of that. And so then that we have to be willing to identify how did you get to the belief that you have? Let's back into this. So it's it's a longer conversation, but that's why I start working on let's okay, let's look at that. And is that belief true? Or is it a perception in the story you've told yourself? Well, the evidence says it's true, right? Because then they go down that well, but look, every time I've done this, it's proven to be true. I said, I understand that, but that's because it's that self-fulfilling property. Like you actually believe that you can never do this. So no matter how much you intellectually say you can, because you don't believe you can, you're gonna work against yourself. You're fighting yourself the whole way through. And it takes a while for someone to be willing to go, is that really true? Is it really on me? Am I really my obstacle? Is it all am I the problem? Right? Because I was for the longest time, is no, the person that abused me was the problem. And yeah, that was a problem, but my problem now today wasn't the person that abused me, they're long gone. They're not my problem today isn't the abuse. My problem is how I've bel what I believed about the abuse. That's all on me. And that's hard to face sometimes because it's easy for me to say it's Mo's fault. If Mo would only do something different, if Mo wasn't that way, if my parents didn't do this, or my sister, or you know, then I'd be different, it'd be okay. I'd be happy. And I'm like, yeah, doesn't really work like that.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

It's so um interesting, Rick, and it speaks so much to chapter number one of the success principles, Jack Canfield. I remember at the time I discovered the book, chapter one stuck with me and stays with me, which was take responsibility. You know this already, Rick. In the coaching relationship, the person being coached is the most important person in that coaching relationship, and given that we're all adults, it is so important to take responsibility because if you're in front of a world-class coach such as Rick, you can only be coached to the level that you're willing to be coachable. You have to be a really amazing coachy and to take responsibility for your success, that will determine how much your coach can serve you. Your coach is there to serve you for the results that you want, the significance you want, the purpose-driven success that you want. And I just want to mention one thing here, Rick. Which is that, and again, this is speaking to you if you're someone that believes in that's just how it is, you know. I always say that life's written with a pen, like the the expectation for our lives tend to be your story's pre-written for you, and it's written with a black pen or it's written with a blue pen. And what we're talking about on this call today is that regardless of what's happened in the past, and I get it, there are all kinds of bad stories, terrible stories, horrendous stories, and these are real things. Things that have happened in the past, a lot of them can be redirected to the story that you get to write with your red pen, your green pen, your sharpie, your glitter pen, your paintbrush for the next chapters moving forward. And the outcome isn't do it by yourself. We don't live to be 7,000 years old, right? The outcome is to take responsibility and have that belief that there is something better out there and get resources like an amazing coach, or I mentioned books and resources and other resources that can get you to that significance that you're seeking outside of yourself. So I just wanted to mention that it's so important. If you listen to this, you're thinking there's this amazing story, amazing story for why you can't move forward. I wonder if some aspects of that amazing story are the very reason that you should move forward and can move forward at a at a stronger level that some people cannot. Why they haven't experienced that amazing story that you did.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

You just said something that is a big part of my mantra and what I what I say in my coaching that drives me. And I tell people this all the time, and I would love your listeners. It's what you said, and it's just how I say it a little bit different. Your past was never meant to define your future. Your past was meant to inform you and refine you, but not define you. So your past becomes a lens that you view your future through, and then that future becomes limited because the past was not meant to define your future. So your future is a blank page, it hasn't happened yet. It's I tell people it's your book. It's a blank page. The next hour is a blank page, it hasn't been written yet. You may not change the circumstances or the people in it or the things that are coming, but you can deal with the person that shows up in that space. And so I tell people you're the author and the star of your story. Stop letting someone else pick up the pen and write your story and become the author. Pick up the pen and start writing your story. Because the future hasn't been written yet. Don't let the past define it for you. Right. And so it's it if they're they're willing to do that, if they see that, like, yeah, you're letting your past define your future, which then creates a ceiling over your life, which causes you to settle for something less than you were born and created for. And when you're tired of that, let me know. And I'll help you pick up a pen and start writing your future.

SPEAKER_00 45:46

So outstanding, and this is a conversation we've not had before, and it's so interesting we have the same thought pattern about this, and it's absolutely correct. Let's leave the listener. I remember my my manager, if she ever listens to this episode, she'd always talk about a warm bath, a warm bath or warm shower, where it's sounds all great, you're so inspired in the moment, you're listening to this episode, it's like amazing. But if you now don't take action or do something with this, it was just a warm shower. So for the listener who feels stuck in that old version of themselves, what's the first identity shift that they could focus on this week? Or I'll make it broader, what's the first action they could take for their bright new future, the limitless future, if you will, this week or today?

SPEAKER_03 46:40

Yeah. You know, it's the stupid cliche you don't eat an elephant, how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time, right? Or the idea of you don't jump the Grand Canyon here in the United States in a single bound. So how do I begin to move? And I would say the first thing to that I would say I would encourage you to do is begin to pay attention to the words that you speak over yourself. Words are powerful. Just start paying attention. Don't worry about the world around you and everything else. But if you're willing to self-reflect and pay attention to the words that you say, they're going to reveal certain things about what you believe, what you think about yourself. And then I would find one area that you have felt in your gut for a long time that you wanted to do, wanted to be, wanted to engage. You know, just one thing you said, man, I've put it on the shelf. It's not my life. I can never do it. I won't do it. And grab it back and put it on the table in front of you in your mind and just set it there and go, Well, I wonder if this is actually something that I need to rethink. Then just give yourself space to imagine something from a fresh perspective. You don't have to fix it all, you don't have to do it all, and then set your intention or your words to speak over it and speak life into it, because you're not speaking life just into that thing. You're actually beginning to shift the energy in you by speaking a different thing. So some of you said, Well, I'm never, I can't, I'm not. I would encourage you to grab something and just say, you know, when I say I can't, what's the truth? I can. I will and I am. I will, I can, I am. Just that mantra, begin to speak that over your health, your marriage, your family, your children, your work, your job. No, I I can be a great boss, or I will build this company, or I am a good leader, or whatever it is. Just begin to speak those words over yourself and see what happens with your energy, your emotion, your relationships when you start doing that and put them around you. I have little stickies that I would do, and I'd write, it'd come to me like, I am so the best-selling author. Again, I'm sorry to chase this, but I I there's a whole nother story about limiting belief about writing. But I took my book and my got my my reader's copy. And before I did it, I wrote on my reader's copy best-selling author. Okay, there you go. Thank you. I wrote on my book the reader's copy I got at the top in bold letters, and I haven't put it back up here yet. It said, best-selling author. Hadn't happened, wasn't gonna happen. But I said, I have to believe I am a best-selling author. I didn't, if I got it or not, that wasn't really, but that motivation that drove me to say, no, I'm gonna put excellence in this, I'm gonna work hard at this. I'm gonna, so I put it up there, and I every day I saw that reader's copy and it said, best-selling author. Okay, come to find out six months later, I hit a best-selling list and I become a best-selling author. I had to work for that. It didn't just happen, but you know what I'm saying? I didn't, it's not, it's that goes back to that manifestation thing. But so I would find something that you settled for and change your thought over it. Make a new declaration about it. What do you got to lose? If you end up right back where you were, okay. But what if that shift in your mindset, your belief, and your declaration begins to change the way you approach and deal with that thing that you, you know, that you've been afraid of or that you've been struggling with? That's where I would start is pay attention to your words, create some new declarations over something you've been wrestling with and see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Amazing. And just to wrap up, yes, sir. And this is a question directly for you, Rick. If everything you built externally was stripped away, what would still remain true about who you are?

SPEAKER_03 50:25

It's easy, and I'm a child of God, I'm loved, I'm valued, and I'm worthy. That's everything got stripped away from me. The reality is, is is this life is not my home. There's an eternity in front of me, and I am a valued, loved child of God. And if that's all it is, that's more than enough.

SPEAKER_00 50:51

During this episode, Rick, you said uh a three-part phrase, and you said, I will, I can, and I am. And I'm sure our listener today realizes that you did, you could, and you have. This has been an outstanding episode, and just thank you so much for your share today. And I always say that the best gift one person can gift to another is a gift of their time. So thank you for your time, your wisdom, your shares, your insight today, Rick. You've been an amazing guest for purpose-driven success podcast today.

SPEAKER_03 51:30

It's my pleasure, my friend. It's a joy to be with you, and I pray great value to your listeners that they all find something to walk away with. They can help them become the best version of themselves because uh they were created for more.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

Awesome. Thank you so much for that, Rick. All the best. Ciao. Ciao. Thank you for listening to Purpose Driven Success with Mo Salami. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. It's one of the best ways to help others discover the show. You can find links and resources and show notes at our website. And if today's episode inspired you, check out one of our other insight-filled, value-packed episodes. Next week we'll have another amazing guest, so stay tuned for even more real stories and actionable insights. Work on your mindset, work on your skill set, and always move in the direction of the result you want before you see the result you want. And until next time, do the best you can consistently. Ciao.