In a land far far away...

Pastor Ashley's road to ministry didn't run in a straight line. It ran through a music conservatory, a vocal performance program, a switch to musical theater, two-plus years auditioning in New York City, and a season of getting genuinely lost — before the call she had been hearing since childhood finally caught up with her.

In Episode 6, Dave and Pastor Ashley sit down for one of the most layered conversations the show has had. They cover what it was like to grow up as the child of divorce in a strict church tradition, what happened when a teenage Ashley decided to test whether she'd actually catch on fire for breaking the rules, and the people who refused to give up on her in her lostness.

They also talk about the trip to Memphis that quietly reshaped how she understands neighbor love — including the woman who saved her paychecks for years and bought a house in an underserved neighborhood just to open her doors once a week, and the doctor who moved his family of eight into the same neighborhood to run a free clinic out of his living room.

Plus: the Northern Virginia restaurant that nailed birthday hospitality with a 30-second card, why "shut up and love your neighbor" is really just "stop and pay attention," and a hopeful read on what unifies people on the other side of all our division.

This is Pastor Ashley's story — and it's a good one.

— — —

CHAPTERS

(00:00) Intro and Pastor Ashley's gift
(02:00) The Oak & Ember birthday card story
(06:30) Why being seen and known matters
(07:30) Pastor Ashley — 13 years in ministry
(09:30) Growing up in the church and getting lost
(13:00) "I thought we'd catch on fire"
(17:00) From musical theater dreams to seminary
(21:00) The pivot back to a calling
(23:30) What Memphis taught her about loving your neighbor
(26:00) Hope on the other side of division
(30:00) Comedians worth listening to
(33:00) Why "Shut Up and Love Your Neighbor" works
(35:00) Be kind — everyone is fighting a hard battle
(37:00) Closing thoughts

— — —

LINKS
🌐  https://shutupandloveyourneighbor.com
📷  Instagram: @its_the_dave
✉️  the.dave@shutupandloveyourneighbor.com

If something here lands, do the simplest possible thing: text someone, wave at a neighbor, or just stop and notice the person in front of you.

#shutupandloveyourneighbor

Shut Up & Love Your Neighbor is a weekly conversation about listening better, slowing down, and loving the people right in front of us. In a world that rewards volume and certainty, this podcast explores presence over performance, curiosity over commentary, and connection over division.

Each episode features honest reflections on real-life moments — the things seen, heard, and experienced in everyday life — followed by unscripted conversations with rotating guest hosts who come ready with real questions. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we sit in tension. Occasionally there’s a little brown water involved. But always, the goal is the same: to practice being more human with one another.

This isn’t a show about having all the answers. It’s about asking better questions. It’s about listening longer than feels comfortable. It’s about choosing kindness in small moments that often go unnoticed.

If you’re looking for perfection, this isn’t it. If you’re looking for thoughtful conversation about relationships, empathy, faith, leadership, and community — welcome.

Shut up a little more than usual.

Love your neighbor — the one right in front of you.

Transcript

SULYN - 26-06

[00:00:00] Hey everybody. I'm Dave and I'm Ashley. And welcome to Shut Up and Love Your Neighbor podcast. Uh, hopefully you're following us onto Instagram. It's the Dave. And if you've got any comments, feedback, or complaints on the podcast, you can email us at the Dave at shut up and love your neighbor. Dot com. Do you want 'em to send complaints to me instead of two?

I mean, they could. I would like that actually. Uh, so far we haven't had any complaints, and I certainly hope this episode doesn't. Provoke. That makes two of us. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Mm-hmm. So, um, welcome Ashley. Thank you. I'm so glad to be here. I want to do a little introduction. Um, we, uh, this is gonna be another, uh, get to know you in real time.

We know each other. We do. But we don't know, know each other. How do we know each other? I mean, well, uh, I mean, I know how we know each other, but how did we know each other? Through family. Yeah. Um, and, uh, no. Yeah. Really Through your, [00:01:00] largely through the passing of both my parents passing your parents, correct.

Right. Yep. Just process. That's when we spent the most time together. It's true. When both my parents passed away. Mm-hmm. Separately, correct. Yeah. Yeah. Not together over the span of years. But, uh, and we'll get into more of that and what you do and what your story is. Um, yeah. But before we do, uh, we do like to give everybody a gift, and so I do have a gift for you.

And what's interesting about this gift is it's the first time I've given a gift in a white box. Oh. And because there's styrofoam in there, and I don't want you to make a mess. I don't have to open it right now. You don't, but I will. I'm gonna show you what it is. So it is, I love it. It is a nice coffee mug.

Mm-hmm. Because you are a coffee drinker. I am. Right. And I love a mug. People can follow you on the socials. They can, but different than these white ones that we have. Mm. If you, if you like It is, it's like scratch. It's not scratch and sniff. What's the word? That would be weird. That would be weird. Um. I don't know what you call it.

Engraved. I don't know. [00:02:00] Inboxed, carved out. Yeah. You know, it's cool. That's what I call it. It's very cool. So I hope you Thank you. I'm very excited about that. Absolutely. It's gonna be my new favorite. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you. And drink out of it often shall like, keep it here and No, you can, you can move it off to the side.

Just throw it over there. Anywhere I shall not throw. Totally fine. Mm-hmm. Um, and so I want to, um. I'm gonna do a quick update. Yeah. Because getting to know you is gonna make up the bulk of the podcast. Mm. So, um, so I'll do a little update and while I share a little update, I'm gonna ask you to pour us a little brown water.

Mm-hmm. Um, not a lot, just a splash. Which is what I've asked in the past. And I got, I got a pretty big splash before, right? That's correct. Right? Mm-hmm. So I can make no promises. I will let you, this, my special stuff. Do that and then let focus on him. Let me, uh, so lemme give the update. So something really cool that happened yesterday.

Yeah. Uh, so this is a fresh update. What's today's date? It's not old news. Uh, today is Thursday, uh, sometime early April. [00:03:00] Cool. Uh, because Producer Candy's birthday is in early April. It is. It is on the 7th of April to be precise. Thank you. Was say the ninth. It might be. I think it is. Okay. Yeah. And so, uh oh, another healthy splash.

You're doing great. Sorry. Um, so we can split it on her birthday. Yeah. I, we decided to stay home. I cooked, um, made her a cake. You know, we had a nice time. Did all the things. And we did all the things and then we went out. You're doing great. Thanks. And then we went out to dinner last night to a restaurant here in the Northern Virginia area, uh, called Oak and Ember.

Um, it's kind of new still, uh, but it is. Fantastic. And they get it. They get the whole shut up and love your neighbor thing. And here's what I mean. Um, we had a reservation. We must have indicated that it was K's birthday or something. Neither of us remember doing that. Yeah. On the reservation. But we got to the table and there was, uh, there was this little card.

Right. This little [00:04:00] envelope, it said Happy Birthday. Mm-hmm. And we thought one of our friends that was coming had got that on the table for us. That was not the case. It was the staff from the restaurant. And when Candy opened this up, the first thing I said was. Wow. That's a lot of words, Don. That is a lot of words, right?

I mean, I'm just gonna hold it up. It's a lot of words. Mm-hmm. It's a birthday message. I don't write that many words on most birthday cards. I don't think I've written that many words in 2026. So far that's possible. Okay. Yeah. Um, and certainly not with this penmanship. Correct. I don't even know if people know that that's a word.

Penmanship penmanship. Yeah, it is. It is. That's old school. It's a good word. Happy birthday. We hope your birthday celebration is filled with delicious moments, lasting memories, and great company. Thanks for celebrating with us, wishing you a year filled with happiness, success, and unforgettable memories.

Look forward to celebrating with you again soon. The OK and number team and the entire staff, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 people signed it. That's amazing. Yeah, so made us feel pretty special [00:05:00] and uh, it only probably took them about 30 seconds. For sure. So, no, it's just, isn't that amazing? It's like anytime you, you go someplace, like, especially customer service, right?

When you experience that level of customer service, you're going back, right? You don't a hundred percent. You almost don't even care how much it cost. Yeah, a hundred percent. Like if, but when you're graded with that level of care and Yeah. Makes a difference. Yep. It's good. It does make a difference. I always tell people, you could have, and, and there are places that this has happened to us where we've, we've gone.

The food might not have been off the charts. Yep. But the service was stellar. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll go back. I'll go back. Yeah. Yeah. I will go back. Absolutely. Um, the inverse and I will never go again. Yeah, right. Food could be amazing, but if you treat me like I don't even matter, then I'm there. I'm not going back.

I don't care how good your food is. Do you know what my pet pee is? I don't know. You wanna know? I do. Well, I've got a few actually. All. All right. But one of them is when you go into [00:06:00] an establishment, that might be one in which you, you will be served. Okay. Something, right. Um, that sounds weird. Like a restaurant or a bar, right.

Or a coffee shop or something like that. Right. Okay. Got it. And and they just stare at you. Right. Like, makes me crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh, 'cause all like, it's amazing how just saying. How are you? Right. Hello? Right. That can get Hello it. I see you. Yeah. It makes a huge difference. And, and those words at the end, that is kind of the key set by, uh, my buddy John Ackerman, uh, a few episodes ago here.

And that is, um, you know, when it comes to the whole shut up and alumni neighbor thing, him saying people want to be seen and known. Yeah. That is what. So true. That is, that is the language that we should be communicating in, right? Mm-hmm. Making people feel seen and known. Well, let's kick it off with a toast.

We've got some planting here, right? Yeah. In our fancy little notice. I gave you more than me. I, [00:07:00] yeah. This is gonna be a long day.

Oh boy. That's, that's tasty. That's good. Yeah. That is tasty. Um, so. Let's dive in. Yeah, let's dive in. Um, let's talk about, uh, so we've known each other for, um, 20 18, 6, 7, 8, like eight years ago. Yeah. Maybe was our first encounter. Yeah. Um, but you have been in ministry actually, yeah. For longer than that.

Mm-hmm. 13 years. 13 years. Mm-hmm. Okay. Almost 14, so 13 years. And I happen to know you're not 25, so I mean, as much as I would like to pretend that that's true. Yeah. 30. Yeah. Okay. The sure. But, but not 25. Yeah. Thanks. Um, meaning, yeah. You had another life I did have before that. Mm-hmm. A couple actually. Um, your story, I'm guessing, and these are parts of your story, I don't know.

Mm-hmm. Um, but your [00:08:00] story I'm gathering, um, is not the typical Hmm. I got outta school. Mm-hmm. I went to seminary. I became a youth pastor, uh, through my twenties and I've been doing this my whole life. And, you know, not that there's, I shouldn't have said it like that. There's nothing wrong with that. No, I'm just saying that's not your story.

That's not my story. Right. That's not your story. So also what happens if I joke while we're doing this? 'cause that almost that feels bad if you choke. I did. I thought you meant if you joke. Oh, choke joke is a possibility. Okay. Both are possibilities. I don't want you to choke. Yeah. Um. You know, just take a little sip at a time.

Yeah, don't, don't rush it. Oh, right. It's not water. Oh. And if it becomes a struggle, uh, you can, uh, you can, there is water, there is a waterfall behind. I can that, but if it becomes a struggle, you can refrain until we're finished taping. And then I don't, maybe it'll be different that make it happen. I dunno.

You know? I don't know. I [00:09:00] don't know. Alright. I appreciate the backup time. No pressure. Yeah, you can do whatever you need to do here. Thank you so. Before you came into ministry? Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. So 13 years ago. Mm-hmm. Uh, or beyond. Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. I started in 2008, started the process in 2000. So what's the story?

How, uh, how did you even Mm. Decide to go into ministry? Mm. Um, what was the path leading up to that? How far back do we need to go? Once upon a time, I want people to get the context and, yeah. I don't, because it's a different story. It is, it is a different story. And it's so funny when it's your own, it's not that interesting.

Um, but I, but I, I'm pretty interested in my story actually. I don't know if that's always the case. I'm actually am interested in your story too. I just feel like mine's not interesting. It's, but then of course, you know, people that we both know are like, yeah, it's, um, I. So how far back, I don't know how far back we need to go, but I would say that [00:10:00] ministry is, is the last thing I thought I would do.

And, um, I'm, I, I really believe that it, it, it just is the thing that I was supposed to land into eventually. Eventually. Okay. Yeah, so, so, um, in, in the world of ministry, we talk about calls and call stories and, and ultimately I knew I was. Called early, um, Samuel in the Bible's, my guy. Okay. And so, uh, I knew I was called early, but I didn't know what that meant.

And so I just knew that there were two things that I loved and that was God, and that was, um, music. And those were the two things that I knew. Yeah. But, uh, but, um, I didn't, I didn't know what that meant or what to do with that. And I grew up in the church, but my parents were divorced. Okay. So, um. I, when I was thinking, when I was thinking about today and, uh, and my story and, and why, what, [00:11:00] what this movement is all about is important to me.

It has a lot to do with that experience of, of being a child, of divorce and mm-hmm. And navigating all of that. But regardless, they were divorced. I didn't, I was raised in the church by both parents, you know, whatever. I. Kind of had that going for me. Um, but I didn't understand what any of the things I was feeling or experiencing were as far as call is concerned.

And so I just was like doing my thing, like, you know, I kind of had a plan. Um, it involved being a teacher, which Okay, turns out is the last thing I should do. Okay. Yeah, for sure. All right. Why is that? I just be, I don't be. I don't know. I mean, I love, I love kids. Um, but I just don't think I speak their, I don't speak the educator language.

Yeah. Right. I do love the kids. I do love children. I think they're great. I just don't, that just, it was very clear as I got older that those were not my gifts. Okay. I, my mom is an educator. I [00:12:00] know. Really exceptional educators. I don't happen to be one. Okay. So, um, that's, that was my plan. And, you know, I, I'm so grateful that God's.

Uh, direction is always better than ours. Yeah. So, uh, that was kind of, that's, that's where we're headed anyway. There's a lot, there are a lot of twists and turns in my story. There is definitely no like, straight trajectory and we don't, nobody needs to know all of the parts and pieces in the stopping points.

But the bottom line is we moved to South Florida when I was in high school. My mom, my new stepdad, my brother and I, I have a younger brother, 23 months younger. And, um. And that became a time of reframing because in, by leaving everything I knew for the first 14 years of my life, it caused me to kind of figure out who I was.

Okay. Yeah. And so music can was my anchor all along. And um, and church was too, my stepdad was a pastor. Okay. And so there was a lot of influence there. And, um. [00:13:00] However, I had friends now who were more diverse because I'd grown up in the same place with the same people. I now had new people, right, who were more diverse and different belief systems, different ways of living, and it just caused me to ask some questions and I really wanted to understand not just what it meant to believe, but what it meant to live that.

Okay. And, and these and these other folks. Yeah. Different of different faiths. You mean different face? Some of them know faith at all. Okay, so just all over some of them, them believing Yeah, but not practicing all of that. Yeah. So across the board. Got it. And growing up in a more conservative, uh, church tradition.

Okay. There were things that I thought that if you did them because, because you believed in God, like you would catch on fire. I see. Yeah. Right. And so I'm watched it appears that did not happen to you. It did not happen, right? No, but it wasn't happening to my friends either. Right. And so I thought, well, if they're not catching on fire, then something's afoot.

Yeah. [00:14:00] Here's the thing. They didn't catch on fire, so, well, that's good news. It was right. That is good. It was good news for everybody. Right? So then I was like, wait, this doesn't line up, so I'm gonna go figure out for myself. Why? Why are we told not to do certain things? Where are we told to live a certain way?

Yeah. When there is no active penalty or, you know, like, I just wanted to understand. Okay. So that's, that's where I went and I like lost sight of who I was and what I wanted. What I cared about, like I just got really lost in the process. Mm-hmm. Which I think kind of answered the question for me. Okay. But it took me a couple years to figure that out.

So, um, and there was a defining moment where I did, and I, I realized that, uh, all of the things that I was doing that I had been told I shouldn't do. I, I, I was doing them in pursuit of information, but as a result, they didn't damage anyone or anything other than me. Like they took, they took life from me.

They, um, in what way? Oh. What kinds of things are we talking about? Listen, this is, my mother might watch this. Is this a G-rated podcast? Okay. Well that's, [00:15:00] you know, you name it right. When you talk about rebellious teenagers. Okay. You know, I you all the things. All of the things. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. That's fair.

As much as possible. Yeah. And. And the only person who suffered was me. Yeah. Because I did get lost. And I, and I, period. Right. So anyway, um, and as a child of divorce, there were a lot of times where I felt like we lived on an island. Mm-hmm. You know, my mom, my brother and I, we lived on an island. Mm-hmm. The thing I craved the most was like family, um, as I grew up.

And then there was a season of my life where I was the most lost and. There were people who came into my life, they had no motivation. Okay. Other than like seeing a young person who was clearly lost, right? And wanting to help them find their way back to themself. And so those people spoke life into me and they came alongside me and they did all sorts of things to really just encourage me, um, big, small, overt, covert, all of it.

And as a result, I ended up, [00:16:00] um, picking a school that was in close proximity to where I had, was gonna high school, a college, and. Applied audition to the whole nine. Ended up starting off my freshman year at that school as a vocal performance major with an intent to pursue this dream of education that I had had once upon a time.

Right, right. So you were gonna be what, A music teacher? Yes, a a vocal teacher. Okay. Yeah. A music teacher of some sort. All. Mm-hmm. All right. But after my, we need those. We do desperately. Yeah. Okay. Um, but not, but not me. Right. I mean, that's right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So I, uh, did that and I hated it. Alright. Yeah. Um, I, I, the reason that I loved music was I loved that you can tell stories through music.

Yeah. And I didn't feel like I was able to do that in the technicality and, and the classical. Aspect. That was not it for me. Yeah. Yeah. So my, and it, it's interesting that you point that out because it's often observed, uh, predominantly by producer candy, [00:17:00] that I have an uncanny ability to. Know the words or memorize the words to every song that comes up.

Like just mm-hmm. Yeah, we can be in the car and it's like, it doesn't matter what genre, it doesn't matter. Like I seem to know the words to the song, and I think that is because story. Resonates with me. I'm wired for story. Absolutely. Yes, you are. And so music probably, you know, is just, I was ask why do you think that is?

Great input. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And it, yeah, and it, it's, it resonates. It's how we connect it. It connects with some part of us, right? Yeah. So that's what drew you in. Mm-hmm. But then, but then I was like, teaching, this is not it. It's different. Yeah. Well, or even the. The foundational pieces that you need in order to teach it?

Well, music theory, like music theory, composition. Yeah, I didn't even say that right. Theory. Theory, okay. Yeah, yeah. My music comp teacher said, I am Where you just don't need this class. It's not, maybe you should try biology. Correct. And teach sciences something, not this or math. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, uh, I [00:18:00] switched to musical theater.

My sophomore year's to musical theater. Mm. Okay. Where I felt like I could tell story. Okay. And were, what were you thinking when you were going through that? Like, I'm gonna go to New York Absolutely. And be on Broadway. Okay. Yeah. Alright. For sure. It's like I do know your story. It's like you do know Well because that's the story, right?

Like, I mean, it's Okay, so that resonates. So yeah, so, so that's what I did. I graduated with a degree in musical theater. I moved to New York. First. I moved to London, then I moved to New York. Okay. Pursuing. The dream. The dream, yeah. How old were you when you got to New York? 23. 23 years old. Mm. New York City.

Yeah. Um, how long were you there? Two and a half years. Two and a half years. Mm-hmm. And what was kind of the pinnacle or the highlight of that experience? Or is that a hard question? Really? No, it is a hard question. Okay. I love, I love it though. Uh, really finding myself [00:19:00] like, okay. Yeah. So it was a, it was a quick and full two and a half years.

Um, I auditioned for a year of that. Okay. Then I had this big defining moment where I realized. That what I was pursuing had nothing to do with that, to which I had been called so many years before. Okay. I had everything. So that started to come into focus Yep. During that season. Mm-hmm. Not everything to do with me.

It was about, and that has to create like an internal struggle. Mm mm-hmm. Because you're like, there's this thing I'm doing. Mm-hmm. That's fun. Mm. And but also exhausting. Okay. Because it's fun because you. You know what it is when you get to do it, right? But the process of getting there, the auditioning and the pounding, the pavement, and the being told no, and that right, that, well, that takes a lot of stam or whatever the word is.

I'm not sure how much of that I have. Maybe not stamina, but you gotta able to withstand tenacity for sure. Yeah. [00:20:00] Yep. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. And so the, the call started creeping back in, creeping back in, and I was like, oh, got it. And, um, so it's such a long story. So the short is I've really felt like I needed to walk away from theater.

I needed to walk away from my pursuit of that, okay. To be open to what was actually next. So your question was what was the pinnacle? And that, and that was really it. It was having this, this revelation and then making a shift and where I put my time, my energy, um. And, and my openness to being defined and refined.

Okay. And that, um, ultimately led me to the church. Um, and I thought it was for music in the church, and then we're gonna speed. Wow. The layers just, I'm telling you it's much. Yeah. So, you know, when you, like, you watch a, a video on like. Not slowmo, but what's the opposite time lapse. Okay. Yeah. This is what we're gonna do.

So, [00:21:00] yeah. Okay. Um, so find and find, oh, music in the church. Okay, let's pursue that. Started pursuing that in the church that I was a part of. Uh, step mom is really sick. They live in Northern Virginia now. Okay. Um, again, anyway, Northern Virginia, mom gets really sick. Stepdad dies unexpectedly. Mm-hmm. I leave New York to move to Northern Virginia to be with mom who's really sick.

Lots of other voices come into the story who I believe are a mouthpiece. They speak into me. I. Simultaneously have this revelation that I'm supposed to go to seminary. I go to seminary for a music ministry. A year later I'm like, oh, it's not, it's it's ordained ministry. And that was 2009 when that happened.

Ta-da. Wow. Yeah. And here we are. Here we are. I feel like you left a [00:22:00] lot out of this story. Oh, so much. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. So we don't have enough time. So, um, and maybe people aren't that interested, all the, all the way. All right. Just one more question. Yeah. Yeah. All the way to. The point of, you know, pursuing ministry, et cetera.

Yep. It was just you, single Ashley? Single person. Ashley Single. Ashley. Single Ashley. Single Ashley. Okay. Okay. Ashley was single for a lot of life until Ashley was 36, because I'm not 25. Okay. Or 30. So, so, uh, how long have you been married then? That's really funny. Well, we start, I've been married for, it'll be six years in May.

Okay. We started dating when I was 36, so. I'm 44. There you go. Just a young buck. Are you right? Absolutely. Um, don't tell. Cool. And so you're kind of what I refer to as a cool [00:23:00] pastor. Mm. Right. Thanks. I mean, we're sitting here sipping bourbon, right? Yeah. Um, I've heard you speak Yeah. You've, you've stepped down on a limb and asked me to come speak.

I have at your, at your church. Um, coming to a sanctuary near you in May. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I gotta give you details about that. So I'm gonna talk about who is your neighbor. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna talk about. I'm really excited about that. That's all I know at this point. I haven't time. That's all you need to know at this point.

I haven't really prepared beyond that. Yeah. Um, so tell, tell me, like, can I tell you why I love that question? Yes. Who is your neighbor? Which question? Who is your neighbor? Oh, who is your neighbor? Yeah. A, a defining another layer, a defining moment for me in seminary was when I went to do an intercultural immersion.

Okay. That's a part of your degree. And I went to Memphis, which may not sound like an intercultural experience. I wasn't, I wasn't gonna say that. Yeah. Most people are like, what? But we went to, we went to go live in an underserved [00:24:00] area mm-hmm. For two weeks, and then study the intersection of faith and health.

Okay. And got to hear stories of people who. Stepped out of their neighborhood into this neighborhood, emphasis on hood, um, okay. Into this neighborhood that was just hurting, that was broken, that had such an absence of love, and they just came in and poured love. This woman had worked for a doctor, um, her whole life as a single woman, had all of this money saved that she didn't spend on herself.

Bought a home in this area and just came in and opened her house once a week to like serve a meal. Period. That's all she did. Wow. And then she ended up establishing an organization in the neighborhood that was like afterschool programs like art gallery, places for kids to take classes. There was a cafe in the bottom floor where if you could not afford food, you could come and get a free meal.

But if you could, you could come and purchase a meal, which helped support like the serving of another. Yeah. There was a, there was a [00:25:00] doctor in his family not related to this woman doctor in his family. Chose to move into doctor, six kids move into the neighborhood. He just, and he opened his home once, once a month for like a free clinic.

Like, I mean that and, and so there was a t-shirt from the ladies organization and it was like, love your white neighbor, love your black neighbor. Love your, I mean, it was just like all of it. Yeah. And so I love that question. Who is your neighbor? Because I think, I think we can forget, and I think we can forget how easy it is to love your neighbor.

I think we can also forget that sometimes. We are invited. There is an opportunity for us to go way outside of Yeah. Um, our comfort zone. I mean, the short answer not to, not to spoil it everyone Right? It's whoever's in front of you. That's right. Yeah. Right. Whoever's in front of you now. Mm-hmm. That is your neighbor.

Mm-hmm. Right? Everyone is your neighbor. Um, so that leads me to an interesting thought. Uh, that I had recently. I'm curious where you land on this. So let me just ask the [00:26:00] question before I give you my thought. Okay. And the question is, when you think about the world today, mm, literally today, literally today, um, more specifically the United States, I thought you say more specifically yesterday.

What, what, what do you, what is one thing. That stands out to you as hopeful. Mm. Yeah. You weren't expecting that, huh? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was not. Because we focus heavily on the division we do, it's because it's pretty glaring and it's easy to spot, and it's, you know, seems like it's never going away. Yep. But something hit me recently.

Yep. I'm curious if you have anything that like, oh, that is hopeful. Wouldn't it be wild if it was the same, right. Yeah. I would be shocked if it was, I, I will, I will fall outta my chair. Um, I actually was having a conversation like this today that made me hopeful, um, or, or helped me think about what is hopeful and that is, that is this, that there are, that, [00:27:00] because there is such a focus on division because there is so much that is so hard that people are returning, returning back to, returning back to values, returning back to what matters.

Returning to a re, to remembering. That there is a neighbor to love and that we can be for one another. What I think, um, through progress or personal pursuit or whatever else we mm-hmm. We can forget, right? Yeah. So I'm hopeful that we're gonna actually see. Ourselves become stronger and more unified. Right?

Because mainly because we're not gonna have a choice, right? I mean, we do have a choice, but I think we're gonna, we're gonna crave the thing that we've lost. I like that. I like that. You wanna hear my thought? Of course I do. So, um, it basically dawned on me as I was scrolling or checking the news. This was several weeks ago.

Um, and. [00:28:00] You know, I'm so used to seeing the diverging messages, right. Depending on where people fall, um, on the political spectrum. Yeah. The cultural spectrum, you know? Mm-hmm. Everywhere. Mm-hmm. And what I noticed all of a sudden was that. The current events of the day, whatever it was, three weeks ago. I mean, it's sort of all blending together, but That's right.

Right. Um, but I was seeing people on the left and on the right. Expressing the same sentiment Mm. About those events. And I, that's said to Producer Candy, I said, producer Candy is my favorite. Oh, the owe the irony. Yeah. That mm-hmm. The same sort of, um, uh, for lack of a better word, let's say [00:29:00] genre of things mm-hmm.

That has, has divided us. Mm-hmm. Is actually now coming full circle. Mm-hmm. And bringing people together Yep. That have different views. Mm-hmm. Uh, you know, conservative views, liberal views, what have you. Right. Yep. But I think people are starting to come together around the idea that we'd really like more normal, again, um, peace.

Peace. Yeah. Not, not peace. This big peace just like. I just don't wanna feel this chaos. Right. Yeah. And I think, I think that wherever people fall, that is something everybody agrees on. Yeah. Is like, absolutely, man, I just want to hang out or drink bourbon with my boys on the weekend. I don't really care.

Yeah. Where they fall on climate. Right. Right. You know, climate change or immigration, we're just hanging out, we're talking football, we're talking, you know, or whatever. That's a simple [00:30:00] example. But, um, and so I just found it interesting 'cause I feel like it's, it's literally coming full circle. Mm-hmm. And I said, I think there's, that, that's something to feel hopeful about.

Yeah. So I agree. Um, let's, uh, let's shift gears for just a few minutes. Okay. Um, what kind of comedians do you like to listen to? Comedians. Do you listen to comedy or No? It's okay if the answer is no. The answer is not. No, but it's also not, yes. I just want your opinion. You are, you are my favorite comedian.

No, that's what I, no, I, um, Taylor Tomlinson I like a lot. Okay. I'm not familiar. Okay. But keep going. Um. I'm really, I'm really bad. I don't watch a lot of anything. Okay. To be really honest. Yeah. Alright. Um, the, the margins for that are narrow. Okay. And, uh, but Ken watches a lot of comedians, so. Okay. Ken is your husband?

Ken is my husband, yeah. So as I am adjacent to him, I get to [00:31:00] hear some comedy. Nice. There's a. Guy, and I have no idea what his name is. He was here, he was in DC not too long ago, or Tyson's not too long ago. What's his first name? Oh, he was in Tyson's maybe? I think so. Is his name Dusty? Oh, I really have no idea.

But then there's this, there's also this guy, Josh Johnson. I. Oh, do you know him? Producer Candy listens to him. Okay. She's a fan. I was just introduced to him. Okay. He's funny. Yeah. So I just am a fan of laughing. Okay. So really, however. All right. Well that's good. Yeah, that's good. Uhhuh, who do you, who, who, what comedians do you listen to?

So our, uh, the two main comedians that we recommend to people are neighbor Gaze. Oh, Uhhuh. Yeah, he was just in DC recently. That maybe that's who I'm thinking of. But then you said Tysons and I was like, oh, that wasn't him. He was in DC Maybe it was dc not Tysons. He's really good. And then Dusty Slay. Okay.

I don't know him. Okay. We did see him in Tysons. Okay. Um, and then we recently also saw in Tysons, um, and I talked about this on a different episode, but a guy named [00:32:00] Justin Willman. Okay. Uh, look him up on Netflix. He's got a special called Magic Lover. Hilarious. And also mind blowing. Wow. Okay. Because it's magic.

Yeah. So, oh yeah. That's good. So I was just curious if you, if you's had question, any of that's a good Yeah, it was. Uh, don't ask me what book I read most recently. 'cause that will also be, I don't, uh, I'm not a reader uninteresting. So yeah. Reading is one of the things that, um, I would like to do. Mm-hmm. Me too.

And just. Can't bring myself to, you know, I'd much rather doom scroll. Yeah. And I truth, I hate it, but I do it. Yeah, me too. You know what I mean? I think that is probably the story of America. I gave up doom scrolling for lt and now you're back at it. Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. You're still off of it. Mm-hmm. Um, so what do you think of the whole shut up and love your neighbor thing?

No, I'm obsessed with it. Okay. You did text me pretty early on immediately. Yeah, yeah. Well, I started with your niece and I was like, [00:33:00] what's happening here? Yeah. And then, and then you responded, right? She, she did a good job of being the liaison. Yeah. And you responded and you were like, you know, there, this is gaining traction.

Right. And it made so much sense to me. Why does it make sense to you? Because to go back to our conversation about. What we, what we are hopeful for, what we find hope in. I think this is a unifier. I think people want the same thing. I think they, they want to be loved. I think they want ultimately to share love.

I think, I think there's, we put so many barriers between us and what that actually looks like. Um, and I think. I think this, well, I'll call it a movement. You may not call it a movement, but I, but I think it is, I think it's, I think sometimes we just need, we need a, we need a thing, we need a tangible, we need a visual.

We need a thing to, okay. To focus on, to help us do the thing right. That we wanna do. And so I think [00:34:00] it, I think that helps people think less, do more. We, we think less about the barriers and we have this kind of. A persistent reminder, shut up and love your neighbor. Like, right. Just do it. Like, don't think twice about it.

Don't put the barriers, don't overanalyze it. Just shut up and do it. Yeah. No, I like that. And I, uh, when I hear the shut up part mm-hmm. Uh, in inevitably in my head, I hear someone saying, just stop. Yeah. Is what I hear. Absolutely. Yeah. Literally every time I say it. Yeah. That's what I actually hear. Yeah. Um, is just stop.

Mm-hmm. And love your neighbor. Mm-hmm. Stop the nonsense. Stop the cruelty. Stop the, yeah. You know, selfishness. Just stop. Just stop it all. Yeah. And love other people because it all comes down to the golden rule, right? Treat others right the way you would like to be treated. Right? Right. So just stop. But I mean, it's, it's, and that is, that's a great simplification of it, right?

That, that just brings it down [00:35:00] to, reduces it to the ridiculous, right? Mm-hmm. It's that basic. But since we started this, I've been exposed to so many stories, um, through our own experiences and through what others have shared. Yep. That highlight in glaring fashion that virtually everyone. Is going through something that you have no clue about.

We have a sign in. We did, and so I have two step kids and then my niece, who I have participated in raising since she was five. So in the kids' bathroom in our old house, there was a sign that said, be kind for everyone you meet. Is fighting a hard battle. Yeah, I've seen similar, similar stuff and uh, but I have found.

Again, through, through stories I've heard and things that people have shared, like you just have no idea. [00:36:00] And in fact, on our next episode, um, a friend is going to share, uh, and she's gonna share, because I'm gonna ask her about it. Yeah. Uh, a story that she experienced recently. I don't wanna give it away, but it, it, it, I encourage everybody to listen to it.

Um. It paints the picture in vivid color that the, um, what's the word? Innocuous encounter you have? Mm-hmm. Or the, the random encounter that you have. Mm-hmm. Um, is anything but, and the person on the other end of that encounter almost always has, has something. Has something. And her experience, they did, let's go back to K's birthday card, right?

Yeah. That that was something that's a practice of that restaurant, right? They don't know anything about the person that it's going to. Right. They just know that they're coming to have a meal. Right. And how many times [00:37:00] does that, does that gesture, does that thing make. Such a difference. Right? It might not be every time, but I would say more times than not, it is blowing people away.

Absolutely. You know? Yeah. So awesome. I love it. So I hope you do some, uh, some fun. Shut up and love your neighbor stuff, and you share, and you drink from your coffee mug. I'm so excited. Excited. A fancy one. Yeah. Right. That's, it's because Scratch and Sniff. This is not for sale. Oh. Oh. This is the v This is the first time anyone has seen it.

Actually, I've not, I've not shown it anywhere. This is a big day. It is a big day. I feel really honored. Thank you. So I hope you use it. I'll It will be exclusive every Sunday morning, especially to guests. Yeah. Do your videos show people? I will. And, uh, we like to tell people before we go to do what? Shut up.

Shut up. I love your neighbor. Neighbor. [00:38:00] Cheers.