Heidi Blackie on Healing Doesn't Look Like the Wellness Industry Tells You

Meet Heidi Blackie, the creator behind Unshakable Me, a speaker, coach, and former occupational therapist helping people reconnect with themselves, build resilience, and move through healing, burnout, grief, procrastination, and personal transformation.

In this episode, we talk about Heidi’s journey from working as an occupational therapist and living a full but overwhelming life to facing chronic illness, major personal losses, burnout, and a long healing process that led her to create Unshakable Me.

We dive deep into resilience, self-belief, neuroplasticity, wellness culture, content creation, vulnerability, social media, procrastination, YouTube growth, storytelling, and what it really means to build a personal brand around an honest and meaningful message.

Heidi shares how she went from being afraid of putting herself out there to speaking on stages, creating videos, building programs, and using her voice to help others feel less alone. She also opens up about how she handles criticism, why raw and unpolished content can be more powerful than perfectly produced videos, and how creators can stay authentic without losing themselves to the algorithm.

We also discuss the psychology behind hate comments, why people are craving more honest content online, how social media can create both connection and isolation, what the wellness industry often gets wrong, and how small daily choices, beliefs, and stories can shape the way we heal and move forward.

Whether you're a creator, coach, entrepreneur, wellness professional, business owner, or someone navigating burnout, grief, self-doubt, procrastination, or personal growth, this episode is packed with thoughtful insights on resilience, content creation, healing, storytelling, and finding your own unshakable voice.

Learn more about Heidi:
Website:
https://www.unshakableme.com/

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@UnshakableMe

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today we're joined by Heidi, a wellness creator and occupational therapist who creates content around mental health, burnout, chronic illness, and self-development. We talked about social media pressure, authenticity online, creator burnout, and why so many people feel disconnected today. Let's get into it. So if you could start just like telling me a little bit more about you and what you're doing now, that would be really nice.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Yeah, well, thanks so much for having me. Uh my name's Heidi Blackie, and I am an occupational therapist who's not practicing anymore, and I'm doing a lot more of really getting out a message and trying to help guide people through a path that I had to go on the hard way. I was living a really vibrant but very full life and living this narrative of doing, doing, doing, which is the culture in America, that we have to prove ourselves and we have to do more and strive more. And that ended up taking a toll of chronic illness. And I also experienced a lot of losses, significant losses in a short period of time. And after 10 years of being in my career and working several jobs and doing a competitive athlete and a lot of extra things, my body started to break down. And I started to have frequent episodes of getting sick where it would be a normal person would just shake it off within a few days. It would level me for weeks. And it got progressively worse. And I went to a lot of doctors, and nobody could give me a diagnosis. They did treatments that actually made me worse. So I had this trajectory for 10 years that I was declining and trying to get help. And it was worsened by losses in my life. I lost my dog and my sister within two months. A year later, my mom and my job of 15 years and lots of other things. And I didn't have any reserves. I had no resilience. And it really took me down to a low point in 2021 where I couldn't drive, I couldn't work, I was in bed most of the time. It was in the pandemic. I wasn't seeing people anyway. But I ended up kind of turning the lens inward on myself, which I had never done in all these 10 years, and asked, what am I believing about my ability to heal? And I actually was believing that I wouldn't heal, which was pretty awakening. And I thought, if I don't believe it, it's not gonna happen. I could have the most amazing doctor, but if I don't believe it, it's not gonna happen. So I committed in that moment to believing in myself with no idea what it meant. And I dove into the research on the biology of belief, which is insane. We we have so much influence over our lives all the time, and we don't realize it. We think it's the big decisions that we make, but it's the small daily decisions of what am I thinking, what am I believing, that are the most impactful, that determine how we feel and the actions that we take and the stories that we want to live by or just automatically live by. So through this process, I started to wake up to what I was believing first about my illnesses and my situation and my future, and then I went back through all the stories of my life that made me small. And one of those stories was doubt and to keep quiet because I'm afraid of what people think. I don't want people to think I'm stupid or I'm wrong or I'm not credible. And through this process of still unfolding, of learning who I am and learning what is most important, it's being, it's not doing. We have to do because we live in a world that has a money currency, and we have to take care of things and responsibilities. But this being part is the piece that was missing all along in all the things that I tried, and I tried a lot of things, and I knew I was the missing piece. And in an unexpected benefit from this journey has been this connection to myself, which I call my unshakable me. And it's this part of all of us that is deep inside that is this source of love, of connection, of courage, of resilience, of cheering you on in whatever you're doing, of picking yourself up when you make mistakes and saying, Yeah, you made a mistake, but that's okay. What can you learn? And it's shifting this lens and it's reconnecting with ourselves because we look outside of ourselves for everything I did for my healing. And some of it's there, but there's a lot inside of us that we don't realize is inside because we've been indoctrinated to look outside of ourselves for acceptance, for belonging, for healing, for credibility, for approval. And my voice, I found my voice. I would never do this before, Victor. I would never be on social media, I would never be speaking in front of on stages, in front of people and getting this out. But I feel so, I feel like this is why I'm here. And I had to go through all the things that I went through to get here. And I just want people to realize what is already here that they can experience to make their lives so rich, and it makes all the extra stuff that much better. So that's kind of a super long who I am, and I have programs, but but I I never set out to do a program, but I feel this it's like like you turned on the technicolor and everything in my life before was black and white, and now it's in color, and I'm awake and I'm not sleepwalking. And I thought I was pretty aware before, but nowhere near now. And I want this for everyone because I feel like this is what we what we need in the world because when we accept ourselves, it's so much easier to see the pain and the suffering that other people are experiencing and give them compassion versus judgment. And the less we judge ourselves, the more the less we judge others. And I just I'm excited to be a part of this waking up moment in in our world and and and sharing that with others, and that's that's that's what I'm about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

One thing that I find interesting about you is that your message is not only motivational, but it's also in a way practical. So you kind of like guide people on what they should actually be doing. So, what was that process like for you when you were figuring out and trying to achieve this unshakable me? Did you have it in your mind that you wanted to help other people, or was it more like I just need to survive right now?

SPEAKER_02 7:32

For me, it was survival, for sure. And it was it was experimentation. There are a lot of things that I I've been on neuroplasticity for over 10 years and doing a lot of that with patients and clients with a lot of success, and I had done it with myself. So a lot of the techniques I was using were things that I already knew about, but I was also adding things in. I was doing a lot of research, reading papers, reading books to see what other angles I could use to, you know, visualize and create a vision. I had never done that. I always thought it was my life is more of the same, which we all kind of wake up and get on the bus of yesterday, and that's today. So it initially it wasn't anything other than it's a it's me, it's up to me. I don't have a doctor, I don't have a path forward. What what is mine to do? And how far can I take this? What can I what can I do for myself? So that was journaling, it was meditation, and I'd never been able to meditate. I mean, I never sat down before I got leveled. And most people that I've worked with, relaxation, what is that? I don't have time to relax. So so it's it it really was this unfolding and then movement and nature and mindfulness, just being really aware of what I'm feeling, and and when I have symptoms that are so loud, it's hard to hear anything else. So it was really opening up to okay, that's here, acceptance. That was a huge piece, and uh, and and looking at what else is here, because that's not the loudest thing, it is not the only thing, you know. We we can so easily identify as just like one grain of sand on a whole beach. But we're the whole beach, we're not just that grain of sand. So there's a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yeah, do you think you had like sp specific experiences as like an occupational therapist that actually helped you in, you know, redefining this wellness and personal transformation that you've been doing and preaching?

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Yeah, I mean occupational therapies help because I've worked with thousands of people and helped them on their journey. I've worked on inpatient locked psych units in my career. And one of the biggest things that it teaches you is how to break down big things into tiny things. And when you're looking at any kind of change, whether it's healing, whether it's it's looking for a new job or trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, it's daunting, it's huge. And so so when you really scale it way down, then it becomes what's this tiny little step in front of me? And what am I doing today to move toward that step? And that's all I'm looking at. I'm not gonna look at the whole thing because I get a little overwhelmed. So, so, so definitely a lot of different aspects and I and and listening and hearing and and kind of it's hard when you're inside it to see everything. You know, it's like you're you're a fish in a water, but you don't know you're wet, kind of a thing. So it's it's helping people see through a different lens than just that lens we've been accustomed to.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yeah, and I would say that one thing that is interesting about you is that most people are very self-conscious, they're scared of being on social media, putting themselves out there. And uh like you said, you probably were, right, in the past. So, what was that process for you? Like, how did you change that? Because I'm very curious about because a lot of people they just want to create content. They sometimes nowadays you just have to put yourself out there on social media for you know business, whatever you're doing, in a way we're all content creators now. So, what was that process like for you, and when did you realize that like this would be helpful to spread your message?

SPEAKER_02 11:44

My coach, I have a coach who who said you need to get on YouTube, and and I I'm on Instagram and Facebook to a lesser degree because what I love about YouTube is that I can I it's someone will land on there and I can I can do more than just a tiny little snippet, and I'm not a tiny snippet person. I'm kind of a okay, I got a lot to say, but let me organize it in a way that's that's understandable. And it's hard. It's I struggle with okay, you gotta make, you gotta create something. What are you gonna create? Put it on the calendar and do it because I also am a procrastinator, and it's not my natural inclination. And so it's so it's not like oh, I love it, it's easy. I do I do improv classes, I'm in Toastmasters, I do a lot. I have a storytelling coach, I do a lot to build my speaking skills, and I think the one thing that really helps me the most is service first. It's not about me. I want to share my stories because we all have stories, and I think that's what the common threads that connect us, and and it's also what makes me different from everybody else out there is is it's attaching your story. There's there's a thing I want to tell you about neuroplasticity or our habits, but I also want you to know I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, I have a hard time with changing some of my habits, and I want to tell you about that because that makes it easier for you to be kind to yourself when you're trying to change a habit. And darn it, I didn't do it today. I put it on the list and I was going to do it. And so maybe I can say one thing that you can try that may make a difference in your life. And if it makes a difference for one person, to me that's that's a win, and that's why I do it. And it's it's hard reading comments that are critical, but but in my opinion, the critical comments say everything about the writer and nothing about me. I'm bringing up something in them, I'm triggering something in them, and it isn't about me, and that's okay. So I think it's it's easy for people to attack you when you're putting yourself out there, and then you go and look, and they don't even have a channel that they make anything, they're just kind of trolling.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

So don't have a profile picture. They don't even have a profile picture, it's just like exactly a random, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

So it's it's who who am I who am I talking to? And is there is there something I can do to help them? And and so that's kind of the the spirit that I make my content from is just how can I how can I help, how can I serve, and put my discomfort and and all of that aside. And I think too, I don't have anybody who's seen my content, it's not I'm not spending hours editing and and making the the videos perfect because that's also a part of my my brand is that I'm I'm I'm kind of real. I'm I'm pausing, I have some breaks in there, I'm I'm not perfectly curated. And and that's you know, that's also different from other creators who are out there who have people who are editing or who are doing more, and maybe I'll do something in the future, but I also have like a full-time consulting job business, so I don't have a lot of time, and to me, it's more important to get it out there than have it be this fine polished, and and my coach is is like done is better than perfect, and there is no perfect, so just get it out. Come back to what it's like.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

One thing that I want to know is that you just mentioned like the hate comments, and that's one thing that I really want to get into because have ever put some thought on why that happens, like were you able to do some sort of research and understand more about this topic? Because that's a very interesting topic to talk about. And one thing that I I I understand where they come from and the pain that they might be feeling, but I don't understand the psychology behind it because I look at it and I'm like, that's not something that I would do even if I'm in pain. Why would I do that to someone else? So what's your take on this as a professional?

SPEAKER_02 16:36

I really think it's it's a I think that the way that people are, especially the ones that throw daggers, is a projection of what they're feeling inside. And they're probably turning that inside of them, and it doesn't feel good, so they're gonna give that out. And being a target, it's so there's two things. One, I think there are a lot of bots out there that are just trying to get, you know, generate some conflict, you know, a little banter. And and and the other part of it is that that person that you know, I and I've I've done a little bit of research and and I've thought, you know, do I do I say something nice back? Do I respond? And really I don't respond because I don't want to give anything. To me, thinking about something, initiating something, that's energy that I am giving out to something that's really negative. And I'm very aware of my energy. And I I hide the user from my channel. I don't I want to create a space where it's safe for people to say, wow, I have I have a wife that just died and I'm having a really hard time and I'm and I and I I always respond I respond to all the positive people on my platform because they're taking time out of their day to write something and it and and I want to respond with that. And so if I have a lot of negativity on my channel from comments, that muddies the water, and it's not what I want. And so I just hide those people, I don't respond to them, and and that is that's fine with me. Um there are a lot of religious comments, and you didn't mention God and and Jesus saves, and how could you you you're not gonna be saved, and and those ones I have a hard time with because I I grew up going to church, but it felt it felt very oppressive to me, and I I think if people have faith in something that makes them a better person, I love it. I love it. But there are a lot of religions that are very judgmental, they're very intolerant, and and create a lot of separation and and negativity. And I believe in the universe, in God, in one intelligence, and I believe it's in everything and everyone, but I don't want to get into a conversation on religion, and that that's really interesting. There's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I think when you go into that realm, in a way, you're just targeting a specific group, and I don't think that's the idea with your message, right? You just really want to one thing that I want to know is that do you when you started doing this, like did you have in mind like what type of people, um, what type of audience you were looking for?

SPEAKER_02 20:08

I did. I I mean my audience for my programs are kind of middle-aged women who have been kind of living this narrative and they wake up in midlife and where am I in this narrative? And that's that's my group. But it's interesting because on my you know, my audience metrics, it's actually more male than female and a younger population than I expected. And and that's just it's interesting and it's it's surprising. And and yet I think I and and I love that that I I can be my I mean some people call me Granny, it's so funny. Um but but I but that's great. Anybody who who says, oh wow, this this made me pause. This made me think about something. Yeah. I don't care who you are, where you are, how old you are, what you're doing. Um that's I want it to to reach the people who it's intended, and and they'll know who they are, and the ones who aren't, they'll turn it off.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

Yeah, and I think it's no secret that we know how the algorithm works. So if they were recommended, if your channel was recommended to those people, it's because they actually needed to hear that message. So it says a lot about when you say you're demographic, there's like a lot of younger men, for example. It says a lot about what this man might be going might be going through in life right now. Or even those haters, if they found your channel, it's because they needed to hear your message somehow. So that's also very interesting because I I don't think the algorithm would the algorithm would just recommend you if they didn't need to hear what you have to say. But the algorithm is pretty smart. And I I I'm pretty sure you know about that since you're actually on social media.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Yeah, that's an interesting perspective. I hadn't thought about that. Like with the haters, and that's so funny. Yeah, that's really interesting. Yeah, I hadn't thought about that.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

What one thing that I want to talk about is about um, you know, people getting stuck in life. How because you said that you procrastinate yourself. What how what is your strategy behind it to not feeling stuck? Because I'm a procrastinator too, and it's hard not being, you know, it's just who we are. But how do we stay productive? How do you do it?

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Yeah, uh I have a I have a lot of different things that I do to stay productive. And I think one of the challenges that that happens, two things with procrastination. The first thing is everything is a top priority. I don't know what to do first, I don't know how to organize it in what way. And especially as being a business owner who wears all the hats and has two kind of separate things going on, it can be really overwhelming with what am I doing today? How what order everything's important, everything needed to be done yesterday. And that can cause a little bit of freezing. So it's picking one or two things, those are the priority. Those have to be done today, and those need to be done first if I can. If I if I have a client first thing in the day, or I have a client the whole day, that's the priority. But then what what else needs to be done, top of mind, those are the things. Then I kind of have okay, if I have extra time, these are in order the other priorities. And I look kind of I look ahead and I look at back it out to you know this week and then to today and and tomorrow. So that's the first thing. The second thing with procrastination is that you need to number one, make it your first thing that you do or the most important thing that you do, and you need to make it really hard to fail. So kind of, in other words, like setting yourself up for success. So procrastinate. I would say one of my biggest procrastinators is making content. So, how can I not procrastinate on that? Well, I have two days a week assigned to content creation days, and I do research on what am I talking about? And sometimes I it just comes to me and I think, oh my gosh, I'm having this trouble. I need to make a video about this because I've really been thinking about it. And and and so I don't always go and do the research before the video, I just shoot it. But for the most part, it's it's this process of doing the re research before the video to kind of really hone in on what exactly am I talking about so I'm not rambling on what's the story I want to attach to that, so that when I set my my alarm or my reminder, okay, at 10 o'clock, I am recording a video, and I need to have X, Y, and Z in place, ready to go. Everything's charged up. I've picked my location and know what I'm talking about. I have a little cue card for myself to remind me and do it. And then you know what I do after? Oh, and sometimes if I'm not in the energy, I have a private dance party. I turn on some music and I start dancing to just raise my vibration, and I have to say that makes a huge difference. And after I do it, it is a massive celebration. Good job. You did it, you did it, you did it, you did it, you did it. Awesome! And maybe I get a matcha latte or I do some celebration in some way because that's my dopamine hit, and that makes it easier for me next time I do it to have this little win. Because if it's just okay, done, check off, go to the next thing, that doesn't that doesn't reinforce that I did something that I didn't really want to do. So that's kind of a few things that I do to to help me move past that procrastination. And I just say, you know what? There are parts of everybody's job, I don't care who you are, that you don't love every single step, every single part of your job. But it's part of it. That's why I'm here. I'm here to get the message out, I'm here to do this. This is part of the things that I do. And I I think too, saying I'm a content creator. What am I gonna create today? Being in that identity also makes it easier for me to do that. Versus I'm a person who's doing this for marketing. You know, it's it I I just look at it through a different lens, and it's an identity that I have.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

What was your experience like when you created your first video? Like, were you scared? When did you have the idea?

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Awful, awful. Um I can't even remember my first video, but I think I I don't know that I did any of the I may have done a little bit of research before. I mean, I had a coach who who has helped me with, you know, try this format. But it was a lot of evolution and it and and the other piece of it is for the first video, well, a couple things. Number one, nobody cares. Really, nobody cares. We think everybody cares so much. They don't, yeah, they care about themselves, and true that right there is like a permission slip to be whatever it is. And the other thing is like knowing that everybody started with their first video, and it's not great. I think you could probably go across YouTube and you could look at the first video of every creator, and they're rough and they're unpolished, and they're winging it, and it's multiple takes, probably, and which one are you okay with because you have to move on and do something else that day. So that gave me permission to just do it, just do it, just get it over with, you know, and then do the next one. And what can you learn? And um, and so I think it it was terrible, it was probably horrible. I haven't gone back and looked at them because I don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

But you know what's so funny? Uh sometimes I think the first few videos are actually much better than when people actually make it on YouTube because it ends up becoming more commercial and more polished. And I do think that because I grew up with YouTube, I I remember when it was like blowing up, and the idea of YouTube was just like homemade videos, people just being themselves in front of the cameras because you wouldn't even be making money on YouTube back then. So now I I I feel like I crave for content that is more unpolished, more natural, that people are not doing like crazy jump cuts, they're just being themselves. So, do you think there is also a psychology behind this? Why? Because I've noticed this, like that that now people are looking for this. They're looking for content that is more vulnerable, that is more, that is raw, that is honest. And what do you think about this? Like, do you do you think there's a psychology behind this?

SPEAKER_02 30:11

I do. Like I just said, I think people are thinking about themselves and they want to relate. And I can't relate to somebody who's standing in a studio with the perfect energy, and here's this and this. It to me, it feels like you're selling me something, or I can't relate to you. I'm nothing like you. I'm not making millions of dollars every year on whatever you know, content thing. And I think people that's not I that's part of why I tell a lot of stories within my videos, is because I want people to see themselves in me, in my story. And because that translates it, you know, we have information everywhere. And and I think stories really are what connect us and what make us feel like wait, I'm not the only one going through this, really, because it really feels like I'm the only one. Like I look fine on the outside, but on the inside, I'm not really so fine. And so so we look around at everybody, and it's so easy to feel isolated in and amongst everyone. And when you see somebody on YouTube who's got the same thing going on with them, oh, okay, I'm not so weird, I'm not so alone, I'm not in it by myself. And maybe what worked for them might be worth a try. So I think that having it be, I mean, that's part of why I am so vulnerable. I mean, it was my first Toastmaster speech. I it's like I bared it all. I told the whole thing of losing everything and the the transformation that I had in my life because of what I lost, and I talk openly about my sister's suicide, and I talk about the things that are real and are hard, and that's life, and I want to help you through it. So I think it's it's more relatable to be not this perfect polished person. I mean, I don't relate very much to those people. I like seeing the what's hard, what's hard today? How are we gonna get through it? What are we gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 32:41

Is there anyone on social media that kind of inspired you that you studied their work before putting yourself out there?

SPEAKER_02 32:49

There's a guy I discovered shortly before I um I started doing my channel, and his name is uh Dr. Gooby, Gooby and Doobie. Do you know him?

SPEAKER_01 33:04

I don't.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

So he's uh well he's in Seattle and and was a doctor, I I think even at the hospital or I was, and he his first video, he is in the mountains with a a cap on and the sides, and he's getting eaten by mosquitoes, and he is just it's a 45-minute video of him talking about the conflict ethically that he's had being a neurosurgeon and ethically feeling like he has to do surgeries on people when he really feels like they can get better without surgery, and being in this machine that is healthcare and profit-driven, and and he walked away from it, and he and and it was just his kind of processing of that, and he got over 12 million views, and people watched the whole thing, and it's probably up to 20 million by now, and and his channel is super viral, and what I like about him is he's real, he has a better camera now, and he has a microphone and all of that, but all of his videos are are just musings about life, and he uses his platform to really promote goodness and kindness in the world, and and also you know, calls attention to some of the things that are what I would say are kind of possibly risky or divisive, but he he talks in such a way that is almost disarming, and and his videos get just I mean, he'll post it and a few hours later there's like 25,000 views, and he's and I just I love his channel because I mean I don't even watch it very much, but I but but I always comment like I just love what you're doing because you're you're not doing it for algorithm, you're not doing it for money, it's very clear, and he doesn't have ads in the middle of all of his his long-form videos, but he's doing something that's really altruistic, and and the way that he's touching people is really compelling and powerful. So he was probably the the the biggest influence that I thought, you know, I just I kind of want to just be outside in nature, which is most of mine, and and honest and um, and also kind of like inspiring. So he he doesn't have a lot of here's how you can be less overwhelmed, or you know, I think he he to he does talk about what he does and some things you can do, but I think um and he's done some nutrition things and things like that with you know his medical background, he he does comment, uh do some videos on that, but um, but he has his dog and he goes hiking, and so so that was probably the most influential, although it's a very different channel than than mine, but I really like it what he's doing, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

One thing that I I'm curious is um, you know, yeah, like we both mentioned, we do like this type of content of being honest and raw, but how can you be honest and raw and yet build authority at the same time? Because I do see a lot of people struggling with that because when you're on social media, you have to, you know, prove yourself, you have to show authority. So, do you have any sort of technique that you go through in order to do both things?

SPEAKER_02 36:50

Yeah, I think, you know, uh it's funny because I was just thinking about this the other day where do you where I I shot a video that was also about comparison? And of course, I the sound didn't come through because my phone was connected to a speaker in my house that I had been listening to music earlier, so I had this video just that I did that looked awesome, but I didn't get it, and I thought, oh, you know, I don't do a lot of comparison because it's the thief of joy and you have no idea what people really are like, and we have this idea of what they're like that is, I'm sure, off by a lot. But I think to me, if you talk about something that you have no experience directly with, I don't think that helps you build authority. You could have the best experience textbook. Here I am, I I've learned this, I've learned this, I've learned this. But I think you also need the lived experience to be inside of it. It's easy to say in a in a test tube, this happens. But when you live it and you and you have that professional experience in some way, that authority that you've gotten through your credentials or training or whatever, I think both of those, in my opinion, are what really build authority. I think you can you can have all the textbook, but if you haven't lived it, you don't understand the person what they're going through. It's very hard to relate to that. So I think that's that's again why I include stories because the human condition, you know, I Brene Brown probably still still struggles with shame now and then. We all do. And she her whole life is around it. She's given, you know, how many talks? But I think that's just life is dynamic, it's always changing. We're always changing. And so we're gonna experience these things, and I think it's just what do we what do we choose to do with it? And then helping others through the same thing. What what's been your experience in terms of that vulnerability versus authority versus kind of the expertise?

SPEAKER_01 39:26

Yeah, to me in the past, I used to make uh videos on my personal channel in the past, like let's say five years ago. And I'm a very honest person and I'm very like, I I don't have a filter, some people say. But I I try to be honest, but to me, when I used to turn my camera on, it was very much like I was not able to be honest in front of a camera because I was very much self-conscious, and I was too scared of what people are gonna think. Am I being funny enough? Am I is my video structured enough? And that's why you were talking about this, and I was thinking at the same time, like there's all this techniques that people talk about on social media of retention and how do you hold your audience and dopamine release in the first 15 seconds of the video. There's all this theories, and I feel like when you get yourself too much into all of this, it's just hard to be honest and hard to be yourself. So to me, it was a very long process, and something that if I'm being honest, I still deal with to this day. To me, it's really hard being in front of a camera and actually reading comments. So actually talking to you, I'm learning a lot. But I I don't know, yeah, I it's it's very interesting to me how I crave being honest and I crave watching honest content, but it's hard being honest because I know there will be people that they will use that vulnerability against you on social media for sure, and I think that it's the choice that you make to put yourself out there that's just going to happen.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

It's going to happen. And and and and at that point, it's like either I'm out there or I'm not out there, and what matters more? And I look at there are thousands of positive comments, and there's a few negative ones, and it's just our negativity bias that we focus on those negative ones. But looking at the positive ones, it's like I am making a difference, and back to your point about the whole dopamine hit and what you've got to do and how you've got to organize it. I I struggle with that part of it because I want it to be mine, I don't want it to be made for an algorithm. And and it's tough because well, I don't know if I took a long time off of actually off of making videos because I burned myself out. I was doing two long form a week for a year plus two shorts, plus Facebook, Instagram, and some LinkedIn and blog posts and working. It was crazy. And I think YouTube was kind of like, well, you haven't produced, so we're not gonna put your videos out there in front of people. And that's fine. I think for me, the intention is I do need a hook to to notify, like, here's what I'm talking about. And if you want to keep watching, this is what you'll get. And beyond that, it's all me. So I try to think what what would what would I in this situation want to hear at the beginning of a video to let me know, is this for me, is this not for me? And then I let go of the rest of the stuff. Um, and I've looked at a lot of you know of YouTube how-to's and what to do and all of that, and I find that when I get in the weeds with that, it isn't me anymore. I'm performative, and I'm not being authentic, and I can tell because when I'm shooting, I keep messing up because I'm now looking at a script of what I've got to say next versus just having it come from my heart. And my videos may not do as well, but at the end of the day, I feel like they'll get in front of the people they're meant to get in front of. But once I start doing it off of a page according to what some YouTube, you know, expert says to do, then I've lost myself. I I uh and I and it's and it's really hard to film it. I keep forgetting, I keep and I don't want to okay, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and then I edit all the spaces out. It's disjointed, I've lost this the thread in my head, and it's so I it's it's really hard because I want to get my videos out there, I wanna build that audience to to really help people. It's not about monetization for me, but but it it it's also a game, and it's it's not and at the end of the day I say, you know what, it isn't up to me. It's up to Google who you know makes the last we have the decision.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

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SPEAKER_02 46:04

Well, I want to talk to you after I answer this question about the the youth, but I struggle with it. Personally, I don't really use it. I have, well, I have a few channels that I love, and I use YouTube way more than I use Instagram and Facebook. But I I think it's really damaging in a lot of ways because it is this presentation of for a lot of people what isn't really them. And it gives that impression of oh, I gotta be like this person, or I'm not like this person, and I'm not measuring up. I think there's so much influence that it has on people in their subconscious too, and especially for people growing up with it. I think it has, I think it has this duality where we're so much connect more connected than ever, which is great. I love being able to connect to people who I haven't seen in years, and it's isolating, incredibly isolating and potentially lethal for some people. So I think it's it's something that needs to be consumed with some level of discrimination of what you're looking at, and how does it make you feel? And for those channels that do not make you feel good about yourself, I don't think it's healthy to follow them. Um, I follow a lot of animal uh rescues and you know, a lot of feel-good things because that, and I uh and I love horses, so I follow some trainers and dog trainers and things like that and organizations that I support. Uh, and and I like that because I also learn about bills and different things that I can call my, you know, government officials and champion these projects. So there's a lot of good to it, but there's also, you know, a lot that can be pretty damaging. You grew up with it, and what do you think about it for you know your generation? And also what do you see your gener your you know, your people like younger people being more on my channel too?

SPEAKER_01 48:34

What is it about that I should ask you because you're because you're yeah, so for me, I I would say that I don't actually go on social media that much, which is strange because I work with social media and that's how I make a living. But I I on my whenever I'm free, like let's say I'm I'm working in front of my computer all day during the week. If it's the weekend, I don't want to be in front of a screen. I don't I don't want to look at my phone or my computer. So let's say my Instagram account, I only follow my friends and like only the people that actually talk to me. So I try to be very self-conscious about this, and I've noticed that a lot of people that you know surround me, they they they feel the same way because I I noticed that people my age are posting less pictures and sharing less about themselves online, and I don't know where that comes from, if it comes from like the fear of being judged, or just like, hey, I feel like we've gone too far with this and we need to hold back a little bit. So it's a very interesting situation for me because I feel like I could not live without social media at all because I grew up with it, and that's how I connect with people I know, with I have friends all over the world. So you know that's that's how I keep in touch with everyone. But at the same time, I wish there was an alternative. I don't I feel like my answer might not be the general answer, the consensus, but I I don't I'm not the biggest fan, if I have to be completely honest, I'm not the biggest fan. Yeah. And in the past, I used uh I feel like I watched more social media, let's say maybe in 2017, and maybe it comes from the fact that it was a bit more vulnerable back then. It was less about money, and I I feel like that's when I connected with it, and as I got older, it felt like it felt too crowded in a way, if that even makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

It does, it does, and I also think that to me, I I'm I'm both very vulnerable because I think it can help other people, but I also I want to be private with like my private life and my husband and and my friends and all of that. Like I don't post pictures on I mean my personal Instagram, I haven't posted on that in years, and it's usually my dog, but I just that doesn't need to be out there, and I feel like we live in such a time of mining data and lack of privacy that I want to hold on to some of that myself, and and social media just feels like, and I see young people, and I'm like, don't post that, it's gonna come back to haunt you someday, you know? Yeah, I don't know. I'm glad I don't grow off of it. I'm really glad.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

That's the problem. Things are gonna stay on social media forever, so you really have to think about it. Like, am I gonna do something just for money? And this is gonna be there for the rest of my life. So because we know that even though it doesn't define us, whatever we do or say, it might define us to other people.

SPEAKER_02 51:54

Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

That that can be a problem, and also one thing that I notice is that if you're too much on social media, I feel like you're prone to burnout. It's much easier, right? I see that happening with creators all the time. If you're on social media, you're too worried about what people think about you, what type of content you're gonna create, and I have to create new content, we can't lose momentum on this topic. That's not gonna lead to a you know a good result by the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 52:28

You're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_01 52:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:32

And if you've built this bar so high for yourself, you gotta keep build keep topping it, and and it's just not realistic. And exactly, I think you will burn out, you know. I think it's interesting just you know, so back to the younger people who even watch a channel like mine. Uh what is it that that they're feeling? Kind of what are you noticing in a younger population? What what things they're consuming and and why and any surprises that you see in that population?

SPEAKER_01 53:13

Yeah, like I said, and I I feel like I've mentioned I've been mentioning this in a lot of the episodes. I think it's about the rawnness. I think it's about the honesty and the vulnerability, and people struggle with that, but at the same time they crave that. So when it comes to content like yours, they can see someone like you who has lived through things that they have lived or they might go through someday. And it's it's nice to have someone that you can look up, that they've been to that through the same experience that as you, but they're and they're being very open about this. It's a safe space. And I feel like, especially for this generation, we we always look for this sense of community. Everything is so polarized. So we want to belong to a group. And I feel like when we find a safe space, a safe group online, that's where we feel like, hey, I can I can stay here for a while, I can rest here, instead of just going out there in this battle again, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 54:14

Yeah. And that makes sense, especially given the background you said about growing up with it and seeing so much, you know, kind of curated, best of out there that really doesn't make you feel so great.

SPEAKER_01 54:28

Yeah.

unknown 54:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Yeah. Do you think there's anything that the wellness culture gets wrong like for from all the messages that you see out there?

SPEAKER_02 54:39

I do. I think a big a couple things in the wellness culture that I think are are not great is uh number one this is gonna do it. This is it. This is this is what will what your problem is and what will take it away. I think there's a lot of of of selling this this one thing. And and the reality is we're all different, and it may work for 30% of the people, but it probably won't work for 70. So I think there's the and and there's all these trends and people hop on. Like the the one that I uh I'm gonna call out is the whole tai chi thing. Seven minutes of tai chi a day is gonna make you completely ripped and and lose weight in uh two weeks. It's not, it's just not, and that's pushed so much, and I think that a lot of people go on who are in pain with I'm overweight, nothing's worked. Oh, yes, I'm gonna try this. This is gonna do it, this is gonna do it. It's not so that's one thing is this golden silver bullet that's gonna take everything away. And the second is that there are so many things to do that you could you could fill your whole day with practices for your nervous system. And I think we get in this, like it becomes a to-do list item that I've gotta do this, I've gotta do this, I've got to do this, and then it's gonna happen for me. And I think um one of the things that is so important is just finding one thing, whoever's channel it's on, one or two things. Try some things, but you don't have to do the whole list. And and if it works for you, great, do it, and let go of all the other stuff. If you want to search for other things, that's great. But I think in the wellness culture, we've really gone overboard in a million things: somatics, nervous system, vagus nerve, um like the neuroplastic, all those are great, but you would lose your mind if you were trying to do all of those at the same time for feeling better or something. So I think we've we've we've given so many things that it's confusing to people and they don't really understand what to do when, and it it just becomes too much. You know, I think there's so much information out there, it's confusing. Is that for me? Is that gonna help me? And and and then the it can cause a lot of overwhelm, even more overwhelm, and it's supposed to help you with overwhelm and and confusing. Yeah, and then not getting anywhere and being like, well, that doesn't work. Um there are a few reputable channels that I I like who who I respect and who have good information, but there's also a lot of people who are just kind of going with the trends and AI is writing their videos and and they're just throwing a lot of stuff out there, and and I think that it's yeah, it's really turning wellness into something so much bigger than it needs to be for people. I mean, that's I I'm a lot about connect with yourself. You got you've got almost everything you need for wellness inside of you. Um so I think I think those are a couple things in the wellness induce industry that can be kind of negative. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:42

Is there any lesson from your own journey that you wish more people understood earlier in life? Or that, you know, if you could because I know we always talk about like, oh, if I could go back in life, I wouldn't change anything because it wouldn't, you know, it I wouldn't be who I am today. But if there's anything that you could go back and change, would you?

SPEAKER_02 59:03

I would, I would, I would change what I believe about myself and that I am enough and that I don't have to prove myself and I can give myself care and kindness.

SPEAKER_01 59:17

That would have that would have and what about your content? Is there anything that you would change about like how you've done content in the past and presented yourself on social media?

SPEAKER_02 59:31

I I mean I could be more organized with what I am putting out there. I it's funny because my coach says, you know, YouTube has to know what is your niche. And I feel like I have a niche, but it's kind of I I have a 91-year-old friend that I have conversations with him. Well, where does that fit in on my, you know, that's wisdom. But um, but I th I think maybe organization, but I just think, you know, I I'm doing the best I can, I'm evolving, I'm the most important thing is getting out the content that's meaningful for people and not burning me out. So I think there isn't really a whole lot I would probably change about my journey and and just kind of staying true to myself and not leaning heavily into AI or algorithm or the external metrics. Um yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm just happy I'm I I'm proud of myself for getting out there, even though it's not my natural inclination. I'm not, I mean, I was a person standing in the back when they'd be like group photos, you know. I've never wanted to be in front of a camera. So just doing that is a is a win for me, really. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:02

Yeah, and I feel like that ties really well with my the last question that I usually ask my guests, which is if anyone comes up to you and they're like, I want to do what you're doing now, and I want to be where you are, and I want to have a channel like yours, what would you tell them? How would you guide them through it, even though you've had your insecurities in the past?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

I think I would guide them to you know figure out what it is that you want to talk about. I think that's really important because it can be really scattered, and then people aren't sure. Then then then YouTube is gonna be like, I don't even know who you are and who to put you in front of. So I think you do have to have some organization around who you serve, what you talk about. So I would say get that organized and get kind of a schedule and ideas of what you want to talk about and how that can be helpful, and then add a story in and set yourself up for success by just doing one. Maybe you start with two a month or you know, or find and then also look at other channels and see who's doing what and how um how they're doing it, what they're talking about, and then do it, do it, get out there and do it. It's just you you could, I mean, for me, analysis paralysis is a real thing, and and you can do all the research and dive in, and a month later you're still in the research, you know, and you haven't made a thing. So I think just making that decision, I'm giving myself a week to do the research and get organized, and then I start filming on whatever date, and that's it. I start, you know, and get a good microphone because I think people uh really need to hear what you have to say with a good microphone.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:55

Yeah, honestly, thank you so much for doing this, Heidi. And if there's anything you'd like to promote, please do so right now. This is your moment.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:04

Okay, thanks. Thanks so much for having me. This has been really fun. I have a I have programs and one-on-one coaching at unshakableme.com, and that's also a link to all of my social media channels. So thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:19

Awesome. I'll keep it all in the description so people can watch it. And again, thank you for doing this.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:25

Thanks for having me. It's been fun.