Who Comes First???

In Episode 4 of You+Me=US, hosts Sharon and Evan Curry dive into some real and relatable relationship conversations that many couples and singles wrestle with. The couple discusses the ongoing debate of who should come first in a household — the kids or your partner — and how prioritizing your relationship can impact the strength of the entire family.
They also tackle the topic of unmarried men expecting “husband treatment” without the commitment that comes with marriage. Sharon and Evan share their honest thoughts about expectations in dating, boundaries, and the importance of understanding roles before making long-term commitments.
Another part of the conversation focuses on being spoiled by your spouse — what that really means, how it shows up in different relationships, and why appreciation and effort from both partners matters.
As always, Sharon and Evan keep it real by sharing their own experiences from over 15 years of marriage, offering perspective, laughs, and practical thoughts for couples and people thinking about marriage.
This episode is full of candid conversation about love, expectations, partnership, and maintaining balance in relationships.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Hey y'all. Y'all already know what time it is. It's Thursday at 7 30. We was on time this week. Show us. Now we're waiting on y'all to be on time in this stream right here. We need y'all to get up in this stream, get up in them comments, and do what you gotta do. Help us to help you. That's why we're here. Well, Sharon, welcome to episode number four of you plus me equals us. That's just so weird.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

It's so corny, but it works.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

I wanted to say another word, but I can't say that word. No. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, no, we can't do that. But anyway, we want to welcome y'all to episode four. First three episodes have been absolutely dynamite, and I know y'all been loving it because of why I hear y'all tell me. Walking up to me and texting me and just commenting on the videos on the actual stream. You can watch this on my Facebook Live page, and you can also watch us live on YouTube. So go to YouTube, type in that search bar, Coachy Game for All Seasons, and that uh YouTube page will come up and you will see us live on that page right there. So go ahead, do that, help us out, help us to help you.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Yeah, and honestly, I think in what? This is week number four.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

By week number six, we do have our own Facebook page, you plus me equals us. Um we would love to go live there.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Yes, we got to build up the clientele, as the people say, just to get everything going so we can go live, just like she said, on that page. So if you haven't already, type that into your Facebook thing, search for it, you plus me equals us, and go ahead, follow that page. Sooner or later, we will be going live from that page, but until then, we will keep it here just to keep everybody going and keep everybody watching. But we will make that transition and we will let you know when that transition will be made. So go ahead over there, you plus me equals ups on Facebook, follow that page, like that page, and tell a friend, share it with somebody. And also, while you're on that YouTube stream watching us live, go ahead, like, subscribe, and share that as well. So you can watch the other best podcast in the whole wide world. Coachy game for all seasons. I got two compadres, well, sorry, three compadres that do this with me. So, you know, watch that. Watch everything we got up there. We have a whole lot of content up there for y'all to watch, and I hope you enjoy it. I know you'll enjoy it because we work our ass off and we're damn good at it.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

Yes, they are. Yes, they are. I'm not just saying that because you're my husband.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

I think you are.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

But you know, I still receive it. It's fine. I take all compliments. I'm open 24-7 for only compliments from his wife. Clearly.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Clearly.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

Okay. Bruh.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Sorry, I had to throw that in there. But let us know what y'all thinking for today, man. We got a couple topics we want to kick off with, but we still gonna wait a little bit to get let people get in the chat and get in and watch us, so we'll just keep asking everybody how was your day? Let me start with my wife. How was your day?

SPEAKER_03 3:18

Well, thank you for asking, honey. It was good. I first to start it because God woke me up this morning. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Amen. Um, it was good. I for those that know me, I love to work out, and that's that's credit to him. But I've started this journey for the last, what, since December with Pilates. Working out with him and and him being my trainer for so many years, if it wasn't intense, it wasn't for me. So when I heard about Pilates, I'm like, oh God, whatever. Okay, it's nothing but stretching and whatever. I did a intro class um at Club Pilates and Pinecrest. Those that live in Ohio, that is over in um, what is that, Orange?

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Yeah, Orange Village Pinecrest, right off of Harvard, if you're going that way. Okay, also you can get to it from Chagrin.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

Okay, thank you. Human map quest.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Breaking it down.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Thank you. Um, but I joined this intro class and it was the only black instructor, so of course I had to get with with Miss Taylor. And the first intro class is probably about 20 minutes, and she just introduced you to all the moves and all that good stuff. I fell in love with it. I came home, told you, I was like, I think I want to sign up for this. Did it, and I've never turned back. When I say that I'm addicted to it, it is it's mentally um, I don't even know how to put it into words. It's like you meditate, but you're isolating your muscles, and it's just great. It's great. So that's why I started my day off today with a with a good class at Pilates with Miss Taylor G.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Well, thank you, Taylor, for doing whatever you're doing to my wife. Make her feel like this. I appreciate that, and help her look like this too.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

You know what I'm saying? Every time I see her come home from Pilates, I'll be like, Okay. Girl, that is working, working.

SPEAKER_03 5:00

So extra. Extra. Well, how was your day, honey?

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Well, my day was absolutely awesome. I started off the regular, of course, like you said, God woke me up this morning. So that's always a plus. Woke up, did my regular, my Bible, my prayer, went straight to work, did a lot of driving that day, as usual. Got off, went straight to lifting. Now it's off-season football time. Now the basketball is over. So I got plenty of time for off-season lifting at Twinsburg High School. Then I have plenty of time for more clients. Also, if you're looking for a trainer, you're looking at them. So go ahead and hit me in the comments so we can get everything going. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

Shameless plug.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

No, there's no shame in that plug. It will never be a shame in that plug. But then I went, trained another client at the gym, and then now I am here sitting right in front of y'all. So that's pretty much like my day every day. Yeah. It's just different times. Luckily, I'm home right now, but usually it could be 8 o'clock, it could be 8:30, it could be 6 30, it could be 7 o'clock. It just varies on the day and how many people I have in the gym to train. So this regular day for me. Thursday. Thursday is a hard-working day.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

So But you know what I love though? You come home and you still make time for me. No matter how much you do, you you come home, you listen to how my day was, you listen to how our nephew's day was, and you you put on that husband hat. And I respect that. I thank you because you deal with so many people in one day. You go from driving to weightlifting or or basketball practice at, you know, when it was basketball season to training regular people. That's and you gotta come home and you gotta give what's left. And you give 100%. So I thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Well, Jesus made me a machine, you know. He put that battery in my back. Yeah, thank you, Jesus, for the machine capabilities. He put the battery in my back, and I just try and do the best I can because I know I'm here for a long time and for a good time, but it's not gonna be all the time, meaning eternity, not gonna be alive forever. So you gotta make the best of what you got in the time that you have and try to help as many people as you can while you're doing it. So, you know, just trying to help everybody out and still love my little midget of a wife here, too.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Okay, you you can't use that word. Small person.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

That's frowned upon. Yes, it is. Hey uh Ari. Hey, Nessa Pooh.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Happy belated birthday to my cousin Vanessa. She's 21 again.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Girl, it was Vanessa's birthday yesterday, so I'm gonna go ahead and put you on the screen. I hope you got a good Facebook page.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

If you don't, it's a matter of fact, you should drop your cash app so that somebody can go ahead and drop some cash uh for the for the birthday girl.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Yeah, go ahead, Ness. Do that, please.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

Yeah, drop the drop that uh Cash App, Vanny or Zill or whatever you whatever it is.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Then on top of her doing that, she's gonna put this, y'all. Mm-hmm. Thank you. But before the thank you, she did that, y'all. That's typical Ness right there.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

I leave my baby alone. That is typical. Oh, and she dropped that. She dropped that Cash App. I know that's right. Let me put that Cash App for you, though, Ness. Yeah, y'all go ahead and show my cousin some love. Uh my sister cousin. I won't even say my cousin, literally, like a sister to me. We grew up in a small town. Uh, literally, our parents, our fathers. Um, my dad is the youngest of 18. Her dad is number 17, built their homes directly next door to each other. So we literally grew up as siblings. So y'all gonna show my sister cousin some love on her birthday. Yes, birthday love.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

And you know what? Let's just be honest, America. She put her cash app up there because she's four foot ten and she needs the growth surgery, she needs these plates to get put in her legs so she can grow a little bit more. Because growing was never her hobbies or anything like that. Running her mouth and saying smart comments is one of her hobbies. So, you know, just help her grow a little bit, y'all.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

We gotta get the funds to you can feel the love, and you know it he comes from a good place. He comes from a good place.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

I'm just coming from a truthful place, okay?

SPEAKER_03 9:01

But speaking of birthdays and her birthday being in March, I know something is coming up that you get so excited about, and we do in this house, March Madness basketball, right? College basketball. Oh, absolutely. And you always have we do the bracket, which yo, and I'm gonna tell you, I know nothing about college basketball whatsoever. My brackets are absolutely hilarious. I just go with the teams that have big names or teams that I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Or she just goes by the logos, which means absolutely nothing.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

If they've got nice colors, I do that. Like if their colors look good, I do that. So you excited for that?

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Uh yeah, I actually am because I always win the bracket competition. You know, yeah, in this house because you're the only person that watches it, but or if anybody feeling froggy and want to challenge me to a bracket challenge, I'm always down. I will win. I don't want any hard feelings when we're done, but just know I am one of the best sports people that you've ever known in your whole life.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

Walking ESPN.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

Yes. Okay. That's why my name begins with the E. Does that make any sense?

SPEAKER_03 10:06

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. It's better because it's the truth. Makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

And speaking of a lot of people that we conversate with, we are very avid sauna people. So we sit in the sauna and we have very deep conversations. And a lot of people always come to us for advice just because apparently we walk around with a thing on our forehead.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Our daughter. Your bracket doesn't always win R.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Yeah, no, your bracket never wins, and your bracket always looks the best.

SPEAKER_03 10:38

Okay. We'll give you that, honey.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

If you're talking about handwriting styles, you have great handwriting.

SPEAKER_03 10:44

We'll give you that, honey.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

You also are pretty bad at picking schools, so being honest.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Since she's married, my son-in-law, she's gotten better. Leave my baby alone.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

You know, shout out to Tom. Thank you, Tom, for getting her together because she just refused and stopped listening to me. So now's your turn, brother, and you're doing a pretty good job at it. Just let's just get her over that hump, man. The bracket thing is not hers. She has never she always used to fight me on sports stuff. We was talking about that the other day when she was here. She asked me a random question about track, and then she just went on in to showing me and telling me how much she hated track. And I thought, like, yeah, this is about to be my track hurdler. She's long, she could be athletic, she can get over them hurdles. She wasn't interested. Nope.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

She was our dancer, which was perfectly fine.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

She she gave up.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

She didn't give up, it just wasn't for her.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

No, that means she gave up.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Anywho, so go back to you said um the sauna talk.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Yeah, the sauna talk. Sonna talk is real because it's hot in there, and I guess real life hit people at certain times in the sauna, and it just they come up with these questions for us, relationship questions, or just real life questions, or workout questions, or with her being the food person that she is, uh, what do I eat after I get out of here? Like, what do you eat? You've been losing a lot of weight. Shout out once again to Taylor with the Pilates. And we just always have these conversations. So we want to start off this episode with a question that was posed to us in the situation. So you want to go ahead and get to it?

SPEAKER_03 12:17

Yeah, so I was um actually leaving, no, I think I was coming into the the sauna, and I was asked a question by a young man um who's dating um a young lady who has children.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

And hold on before you go any further. Very important, they're dating. All right, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 12:35

Okay, yeah, this is this is dating. So he said to me, um, well, I'll just pose this question. Is I I, you know, in a relationship, if dating, if a woman or a man has a child from a previous relationship, should that child come before the significant other? Oh my God. So what he what he said to me was, he said, you know, I feel that in our relationship, her children, she's got multiple children, come before me in every situation. And I kind of pause for a second and gather my thoughts because I I went straight to like, but what are you doing where you should be above her children? What work are you putting in? Because if you're dating, I'm sorry, it she's doing her job. It's her is her children come before you. When you I don't want to say man up, but I'm gonna say man up and take that stuff to say, okay, you know what? I'm gonna make you my fiance, even as a fiance, the kid's still becoming to your husband. And so I told him that. And I said, you know, in my household, even right now, my husband is the head of house. It is God, my husband, me, and the children. And his face just turned up like, I can't believe you just said that.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

So what what is your take on that?

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Just like you said, man up. It may sound harsh at this time, but that's a pretty harsh question. So you expecting somebody to put their kids that they literally gave birth to, and they're raised in the best way that they know how, and you are expecting to come in the person's life and just change every routine that they had and put you first, but once again, God, husband, household. It has to fall in that order when you're married. So you have to man up and be a husband in order for that to go the way you want it to go, and for that order to take place. So it's pretty much easy. It's an easy answer for me. You gotta man up and make that step and propose, go with it, and then figure out the order after that because it'll fall the way you want it to, then.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

And I think we got some people in the chat. Ariel said, um, that's not her husband. And I right, you people and this is the this is the part that I that when he asked me that, like I said, I held back so much because I was like, he's really expecting her to do wifely things, and he's not willing to do husband things.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

So that's that that to me, like it it didn't sit well. And I'm gonna tell this to single women stop giving them husband treatment if they can't, if they're not even willing to put a ring on it. Not even just a ring, but I don't even know. Like, I see nowadays where men don't want to be seen with certain women, and girl, please. Uh-uh. Yes, my kids gonna come before you.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

We got what up, Britt Brittany. How you doing, ma'am?

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Hi, Brittany.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Her children came first, sorry, my guy, until they're married and the kids are grown. Both things have to be true for you to come first.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Totally agree, cuz.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

Yes, yes, and I don't and I want to hear some from some single women. I'm hearing a lot from some married women. I want to hear from some single women. What would you do if that if you were in that situation?

SPEAKER_00 15:54

You gonna read it out loud?

SPEAKER_03 15:55

You know my eyes can't see that because I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Oh, okay. Uh Nessa Pooh says, Child need more support than the spouse. You have to be reasonable as a parent. I'm sorry, responsible as a parent.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

Oh, you could you asking, could I read?

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Oh, everybody knows what Bedford City Schools is. Don't act like y'all don't know. But yeah, totally agree with B and uh Ness. It's you gotta do what you gotta do in order for your kids to be straight before that man pops the question because who knows? Y'all could break up next month, and then you did all that changing and you did all that stuff to fit him and his ego, and then now you stuck with people that's just in this in a bad position because you gave up that structure of power for that man that just chose to leave, or you chose to leave him for a reason.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

So it's crazy. I said there was a uh message in the chat, looks like this Latasha. Um, he actually does have children, so that's the crazy part. He's got kids and he's got girls.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Yeah, two girls.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

He's got two girls. So that that to me was just kind of like, well, you should understand your daughters at this point should come before her.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

But it's it to me, it boils down, and I don't know this young this young man's situation, but to me, it kind of boiled down to like you want her to be your woman. Do you want her to be your woman or your mother?

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Well, actually, some men. Or both. That was just about to say, some men are actually looking for both because they didn't have what they thought they should have had or what they wanted in a mother, or being raised by their mother the way that they saw somebody, like a friend or something, or even your uncles and aunties, you would think, like, oh man, I wish they was my mom or dad because they do so much for their kids. Oh man, they have so much fun. Oh man, and that could bleed over into your relationships and how you see what you think the woman should be doing for you.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

So, yeah, they could be like So you think there could be a jealousy issue that him seeing her do certain things for her children, yeah, absolutely. And he wanted to do okay, okay, that makes sense. But it just it threw me when he's when he asked that, and I was just like, What?

SPEAKER_00 17:54

But then at the same time, it could be they could be raised in a single-parent home with their mother being the only one, and they had to cater to everything that they son was doing, or being real spoiled and babied, and they looking for that in their woman because you know I always say uh a woman looks for their dad in a man, right? And clearly the man looks for their mom in a woman, so they could be looking for that as well.

SPEAKER_03 18:20

I don't want to be that. I want to, I just want to be your woman.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

I don't want to be your mama. Yeah, absolutely. Let me see what you're talking about, Teasy. What are you talking about, Teasy? Her expectations don't align with their relationship. Oh, I'm sorry, his expectations don't align with their relationship. Yeah, you 100% with that, Tasy. Good to hear from you too. Hope you're alright and doing what you're supposed to do. Don't let me go deeper into that. You know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

Okay, you're turning this into something else.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

You are not the trainer right now, you are the hus.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Oh, yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

Okay, snap out of it.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

But yeah, a lot of a lot of men look for that comfort zone, and hell, sometimes I had to snap out of it because you used to spoil the crap out of me. Not used to, but you still do.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

It's deserving because uh it's 50-50.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Yeah, that goes back to episode one of 50-50. In that situation that we were in, absolutely, it had to be 50-50. But I never really had that. So once I got it, I was like, oh man, this is crazy. I really like this. I think I need to stay here. And I'm not just saying that because of what she was doing, but uh it made me feel a certain way, and it made me feel like I don't think anybody else is gonna do this for me. So this means she has to be the one. So I have to go ahead and make that stepping man up and be the husband. So that pretty much was what swayed me to you. Oh, okay. Gurry did a good job courting me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

I did a good job courting you.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Yeah, you're a quarter.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

And this is what's so crazy. If y'all know us, this is really just how we are. Like it's it's and Ness can say that she's around us quite a bit, but this is just really how we are.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Uh I just met her Tuesday. You. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Uh, anywho. There was something else that you wanted to talk about. You you lost for words this week, huh?

SPEAKER_00 20:15

No, not at all. I was letting you get your little smart comments in. That's fine. But so once again, going back to that place we were just talking about, the sauna talks when it gets real deep. Guy I've been talking to for a while in there, known him for a while, probably about a year and a half or so. Explained the situation and was talking about yeah, man, it didn't work the way I wanted it to work. And, you know, me and the wife just calling it quits. We we're about to split up. And that hurt me, man, like because I know how hard he was trying, and I know what he's been doing to try to make it right. Now, I don't know what goes on when they're together in their individual time, but from the stories he tells me, and I've seen him a couple times in action, like in public, trying to do the right thing, trying to, you know, cater to his wife and things like that. But unfortunately, it just didn't work out. And I hate that for him, and not just him, but for every other man that's been trying so hard to, and and they were like kind of freshly married, they were together three years before they got married, and they were only married for like a year and a half. So he put a lot into that, and I'm pretty sure she did too. I'm just saying he because I know him and I talked to him, so I never really talked to her about this situation, so I don't know what her side of the story is, but I just see him working so hard, just had a baby, the baby's a year old now, and that's just so tough for a guy that's just been working his butt off, trying to prepare his first child, a son at that, trying to provide for him and his wife, and it just doesn't work out. I just hate that for people, man. Divorce should be the absolute last resort. And maybe they reach that point, but it still sucks for anybody to go through that. I hate that.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Yeah, but I feel divorced in a sense, I'm against it because I feel like all things can work out unless somebody is in a situation where, you know, you're being abused or it's just, you know, you whatever. But you for one, I'm gonna give him credit because he was very vulnerable.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Extremely.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

For a man to be vulnerable and want to talk to another man.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

We were just told earlier today, minutes before we got on here, that we have an aura about ourselves that people are drawn to talking to. And and and I I agree with that. Um, but for for this situation, I just feel there are two sides to the story.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Yeah, that's why I said I was just speaking on his behalf because I don't know her as well as I know him. But this is just what our conversations were from his side of the story.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

But I believe, you know, people maybe are brought together, maybe they were brought together to make this beautiful baby. It just sucks that he's hurting from you know going through this this um divorce. But what advice did you give him?

SPEAKER_00 23:04

I just told him to make sure that 100% this is something that you're comfortable with that he wants to fight for it. Yeah, but and he explained he doesn't want it. He fought 100%, but it was to no avail no avail coming from her end. So that was the tough part to even give him any more advice on it because I can't speak to that side because like I keep saying, I don't know her side and where she's coming from and what happened on her side. But I just told him to keep his head up, just keep fighting, make sure you're there in your kid's life because that leads us to another episode where we were talking about the blended families. Now he has to settle for a blended family. I don't know if each one is gonna get with anybody else in the future or not, but whatever. They're not together anymore. And now he has to fight his butt off to see his kid every day or talk to his kid every day, even though the kid is one, one and a half, that's still a very important time in that kid's life, especially for the dad to set the tone as being the dad. Yeah, now it's gonna be hard to do that. Now he's gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_03 24:07

I mean, you can't say it's gonna be hard to do it. Depends on, you know, maybe she'll grow from that. They will grow from this. We don't know the actual situation. Yeah, but I want to, you know, like I say, a kudos to him for even being vulnerable, which I think that is that's a a big thing, especially for a black man to talk to another. He don't know, he really doesn't know you that well.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

No, it doesn't. He's very uh he's a well, very reserved guy, yeah. Like he's to himself, so that did take a big set of kahunas to say that and be vulnerable. Yeah, he was extra vulnerable. And I appreciate him for doing that because maybe he needed to get it out right there so he doesn't do anything crazy. You know, you don't know what people are thinking, you don't know what people are feeling, you don't know what they're going through outside of that, on top of that, too. That could have been the cherry on the top to send them over, but he was comfortable enough to let that out. So I do appreciate him for doing that, and hopefully I helped him enough that he has enough patience now to make it through whatever he's gotta do in this battle that's about to start. So we'll see, man.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

Yeah, we'll pray for them. Definitely we'll pray for them. You guys got any questions in the in the chat? Oh, is the seven year now I can read that. Is the seven-year itch real?

SPEAKER_00 25:18

I'm I'm not familiar with that.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

So the seven I I I've heard of the seven-year itch, and the seven-year itch is every seven years within a relationship, you get the um we'll I won't call it the itch, but we'll call it the wigglies of you Moving on. Not moving on, but you you kind of get tired of your situation. Not I don't want to say tired. Yeah, you get tired of your situation.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Really? That's a thing.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

It's a thing.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

I never heard of it.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

I mean, of course, because you ain't never had it. You ain't never had it and never will. You know what I mean? Um, but yes, there there is there is a such thing as a seven-year itch. Um, and I've I've from some of my married friends, I have heard of them going through the seven-year itch. So, yes, it is a thing. But I also think that's important to if if you're the one feeling the seven-year itch, um to have a conversation. So have a conversation with the other.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

With each other or look for outside help.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

No, well, definitely outside help, but also with one another, because I feel like once again, going back to episode one, when we sat and talked about um different seasons. We are different people in different seasons within this marriage. I'm not the same person that I was when we first got married, not the same person I was five years ago. So I do believe, and and and that's something I feel like for me as a woman, I'm still learning who I am as a wife. Um, and at my age, you know, a lot of changes are going on. Um, but no, the seven-year ish is definitely a thing, and I just hope that that's something that you know people can find someone to talk to, but also talking to your significant other is is is important for that. That was a that by the great question.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

And of course, this guy says great movie too. Never even heard of the movie or that saying. Never even heard of the movie. Leave it up to Byron to find out.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

Oh, he joined the chat today. Oh, way to go, Papa Papa Beasle. Yes, he joined the chat.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yeah, never even heard of it, so I'll give him the credit for watching it.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

Well, I'm glad you haven't because you ain't never had a seven-year itch.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Yeah, no, never. Good. It's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Let's keep it that way. Let's keep it that way.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Well, here you go. He on his trash, y'all. Once this man gets started, it's hard to cut him off. How in the world do you present that without getting killed?

SPEAKER_03 27:40

It's your it's your presentation. I mean, you don't want to go into it like, hey, you know what? This season I don't like you. That's just not, I mean, that's the I I don't even know how to.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Well, honey, it's been seven years.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

It's good knowing you.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

Yeah, thank you for them seven years. I'm out.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

No, I think a good conversation. Um, what do you think? Because I'm I'm I'm doing all the talking because I you know how I'm I'm passionate about marriage.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Well, nobody talks about this because nobody's heard about the seven-year rule. But I'm just gonna say I don't agree with it, and that should never be brought up. If you do bring it up, you should already have your stuff packed because you're gone. If you're in a situation like I'm in the situation, I'm only speaking on my behalf. I don't know what everybody else is thinking. I'm just saying, I can't even think about fixing my mouth to say that. I can't even think about my heart feeling like that in the situation, especially seven years deep. So if you went seven years.

SPEAKER_03 28:37

No, but it's every seven. So people say it's every seven years that this occurs. Yes. So every seven years, from what I've heard that it occurs, that you know, you you're I don't want to say evolving, you're changing within your I don't know. But I think, Byron, it is your presentation, um, how you present it. Um, not saying because Byron is happily married, let's say that in case wife is watching, he's happily married. I know that for a fact, because I'd kill him if he wasn't. Um kill him dead. But it's just how you present it. Just, you know, I feel like a conversation is needed. Not, I think something should lead up to that conversation. Like, I do you drop hints?

SPEAKER_00 29:16

So most people don't realize how you approach a conversation is setting the tone for how the answer is gonna be set with the question or how you start the conversation. So it's very important to present it the right way. With something like that, you better present it the right way. Because if you don't, like I said, you're gone. Ain't no talking yourself out of that. Yeah, you don't approach that woman or that man, it can go both ways clearly. You don't approach that other half about an itch saying, I don't think you're doing this anymore. I don't feel like I feel like that towards you anymore.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

But by saying that, be open for the comeback. Yeah, you have to be. Yeah, you you got you gotta be ready for the comeback. So you telling me you already set the tone. Exactly. So you telling me what what you're not pleased with anymore. Well, maybe I'm this person because of what you're either not doing or who you've become.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

So be open. You want to have that conversation, be be open. Byron, I'm not doing this with you. I'm not, I'm not doing it. Now that I could see.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Hey, put your mama on the phone. Okay. I ain't coming back. Okay. Talk to you later. That's a classic line from Harlem Knights for people that are not movie heads, okay? Anything with Eddie Murphy is quotable. Anything.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Yeah, but that that seven-year itch, like I said, it's just it's it's uh that's a tricky thing.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Yeah, tricky thing. That sounds like a tricky thing. It's situational that I don't even want to be a part of.

SPEAKER_03 30:55

Yeah. And you and you shall not?

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Yeah, no, but in Jesus' name. That's that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

In Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

So where did you hear that from? Was that a thing in Constantine? No.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

I just said I'm not gonna disclose the people's names, but it's been brought to me.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

As a grown-up, or did you know about this as a kid?

SPEAKER_03 31:13

They they were married, and I I didn't know nothing about nothing when I was a kid, especially about no marriage.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Oh, I mean, maybe you heard somebody say something like that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

I don't know. It was it's been brought to me. And it was the first time I heard of it, and like I said, people come to me and there is it's a thing. It is a thing.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

That's totally insane, people.

SPEAKER_03 31:35

It's not in you can't say it's insane. You just like I said, is seasonal. People change. And I don't know. I don't know. You ain't got nothing to worry about. I ain't never had the itch.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Yeah, I'm not even talking about for us. I'm just thinking about other people that's involved that feel like that.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

That's right, but you don't understand not every marriage. No marriage is perfect, okay? No, no, no, no. No marriage is perfect. I know that part. So how don't you understand how someone can go through that?

SPEAKER_00 32:04

I'm just talking about I don't understand the feeling of that. Right. Yeah, no, I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. I'm just saying in my world, I don't understand how that feels because I've never felt like that. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

Byron quit saying stuff to make me cut my eye.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

Hey, somebody stop this man in the chat. He's about to go crazy in here. For all of you know that BC, he goes on these tires.

SPEAKER_03 32:35

No, he's very argumentative. So, guys, get ready in a chat. If he starts, just put him in his place, please.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Y'all remember back in the day, Kings of Comedy, when uh they was talking about black people's nicknames, and Cedric the Entertainer was talking about a little pistol starter. He little pistol started because he be ready to start all these fights, and then he next thing you know, he done dipped out the chat and started everything and not got everybody going. It's unbelievable what this guy does. And he approached me last night. B, you gotta put that in the chat. The question which you was talking about with the money and everything, you please put that in the chat because I need to hear people's opinion about this.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

What was he talking about in the chat?

SPEAKER_00 33:13

So he was no, he was talking about yesterday, last night we were recording. He asked something about if you were married and you have a best friend that you've known for over 40 years, another woman, I'm talking about a man, or it could be the other way too, another man that the woman has known. Is this person single? Yeah, the person is single now.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

Well, I'm gonna stop it right there because you ain't you ain't you ain't got no single friends.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Yeah, no, yeah, no, I don't. But is it okay when they're on their deathbed and they have a certain amount of money that they need to get rid of that they don't want to not give away before they die, and you have to be married to that person. Is it okay to get a divorce and be married to that person for the money and bring it back home to your wife? I think I'm misquoting them a little bit. That's why I need them to put it in.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

Amani got it, best friends of the opposite sex equal rare flag. Period. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

First of all, Monty, that's a lot of flags right there. Period.

SPEAKER_03 34:19

So basically, what I got from that is if you have a best friend of the opposite sex, they're dying. You're so are you married in the situation? Or you're uh I'm confused. Byron, help us out here. Um, are you married in the situation?

SPEAKER_00 34:33

I I don't know. Uh that's why I said I need help. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

Or just in a relationship period.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Uh I'm guessing in a relationship period. Like I said, I think I'm misquoting. That's why I wanted to put something in the chat, but so he can help me.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

Mamani said R-I-P. I know that's right.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Girl, you're a stone cold killer. You're a stone cold killer.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

I know that's right. So I'm gonna take it as this person. Um, what did Byron say? Show it, please. And they want to marry you to pass you with inheritance. But are you? That's what it was. Okay, so are you single or are you? I'm confused. Are you single? Are you married?

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Uh yeah, be are you single when they're doing this or are you already married and then they're coming to you with that plan so y'all can have a quick marriage and get the inheritance?

SPEAKER_03 35:24

You can't have a quick marriage and you're already married.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Hey, I don't know. That's all Max and the main.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

You too married. That's Bobby, you're not asking the answering the question.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Yeah, answer the question, brother. You putting all this here. He said 100,000 plus house, cars, and pension.

SPEAKER_03 35:41

But are you already married or are you already in a situation? Or you have to be single. Okay, but let's say dating.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Now we got the subject, y'all.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

But even still, like I can't even answer this because you know how I feel about taking vows to marry somebody. I'm not marrying you for no cash.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

Yeah, no, uh, that's what I told him last night.

SPEAKER_03 36:09

And why would I marry you about to die?

SPEAKER_00 36:11

But for the money and the inheritance, it's not that important to me because I'm not uh cash don't rule everything around me.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Well, Belinda said, why would you not just put that in the wheel? Exactly. Period. Put it in the wheel. Make it make sense. No, I'm not about to marry you. You finna die, and no. And if we friends, I should if we real friends, I should have been in your wheel already.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

Let me see. He he gone, y'all. He gone.

SPEAKER_03 36:45

It's an arrangement and they will ask.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Yeah, it's an arrangement and they action. Because maybe maybe they don't have time to put in the wheel, I guess he's saying. I don't know. But this is all to be crazy. Let's see here. For some reason, they have to be married. Yeah, in order to get the inheritance, you do.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

Yeah, well, find somebody else. Move on. Nope. I sp for me personally, and I would like to hear some of y'all in the chat, like Linda said, why not just put it in the wheel? I'm not going to, and I don't want to say sell my soul, but basically that's what I'm doing. So now we both.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

You know, basically y'all.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

Yeah, I'm not doing that. Ain't enough money in the world. $100,000 ain't nothing in today's world.

SPEAKER_00 37:32

That'll be gone in four months. The way that orange brother keeps running up these tariffs. So that $100,000 is gonna be gone. Cars, it's probably a uh a 2,009 and it got a 402,000 miles on it. So I done sold my soul for you go in a hundred thousand that's about to be gone. What are we doing here? In a pension? I don't know where you worked. You might have been a janitor in Cleveland Public School district.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

And there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with it at all. We um uh Brittany says something here.

SPEAKER_00 38:06

What are you talking about, Basie? Exactly. That sounds ill-prepared. Where are the documents?

SPEAKER_03 38:15

Period.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

Yes. And you would say something about that.

SPEAKER_03 38:19

I mean, but it makes sense. Just like her emblem to like it make it make sense.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Well, I'm trying. That's why I brought it up. A few documents, a couple signatures would have cleared that right up.

SPEAKER_03 38:32

Right on up. Right on up, right on up, and I'd be front center at your uh funeral.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

Lord, a man lays here with no signatures and no documents. I present him to you, Lord. Yeah, no, that's wild. I just had to bring that up because when he brought up yesterday, I think, see, this is where I'm saying I'm real different from a lot of men because it has to be, it has to make sense to me in order for me to even think about it or to actually do it, especially with a situation like this. I'm the guy that gets invited tons of places and other guys, and I'll be like, hey, y'all know my wife.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Right. I am one of the guys.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

I'm gonna put it out there. You can call me whatever you want to call me. You can't, oh man, you don't never had no time. No, I don't want any time away from her because I'm so busy, I barely see her the way that I want to see her. And if I'm there, she's gonna be there. And vice versa. All my friends now, and then at the end of the day, that's how we got the name of this podcast. You plus me equals us. So if you invite me, us is gonna be there. Us is gonna be all up in the place with our hands up, celebrating. Uh-oh. Yeah, that was the wrong button. Sorry. Okay. No, but seriously, uh yeah, y'all gotta understand that's the life that I live. So scenarios like that is real hard for me to even think about and ponder. That's why when he asked me that, I was like, what movie are you watching? Because that has to be a movie subject. That can't be anybody's real life because that just doesn't fit in my mental as a real life situation.

SPEAKER_03 40:14

So And speaking of that, so like when you you just I'm gonna go back to what you just said about how you're with the party with us? Yeah. Well, yeah, I it was something you brought up like a while back, like about being invited places and they like, oh, you're gonna bring your wife. Do you feel as men like that? That's viewed as like, oh, she's making um him invite her, or do you know?

SPEAKER_00 40:38

No, you're asking the wrong guy. Because I I don't think that because I have no problem with doing that. But a lot of men think that because you know, everybody, when you get behind closed doors and it's just men talking, right? Oh man, you whooped. Oh man, your wife controls you. Oh man, you can't do nothing without your wife.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

No, I don't want to, and anybody that knows my husband knows Evan don't mind speaking his mind. Yeah, period. Don't mind speaking his mind.

SPEAKER_00 41:04

Hey, uh, a couple of guys going up here to get some wings and some drinks. You want to come? Yeah, let me uh go home and get my wife real quick, and we'll be up there. So if you don't want her to come, don't ask me because she's coming, and I can be all the punks, I can be all the whips and everything, but guess what? I'm happily married. Yeah, same. Oh, you were filling it in the blank for me. Yes. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

See, I love that. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

But I'm just saying it if you can't accept that, you're not about to accept me because that's what's gonna be me at the end of the day. Like, hey, yeah, uh, we about to go here. It could be the longest day of all time. Um but mind you, nobody, I'm not gonna say nobody, but a lot of people that I'm around don't have the same schedule and the lifestyle that I do. So they probably can't understand it or won't understand it. Totally fine. Have your moment, try to understand it. I'll give you all the time you need. But just know if I'm leaving my house at 5:30 in the morning and I'm gonna be gone until eight o'clock at night, and I ain't seeing my wife in between those times, and you asking me to go somewhere after I done did what I had to do all day, 100% she's coming because I haven't seen her. So we we'll sit at another table. Y'all can go over there and have your fun, do whatever y'all got to do.

SPEAKER_03 42:25

It's crazy though. So your your friend group is a great friend group because literally they be asking, your wife coming? They get it, they get it. Brittany says, please read what she said.

SPEAKER_00 42:35

Hey, not only is Byron on a roll, Britannia is on a roll right now. That's the wrong one. I ain't mean to show B. If a man wants to always be around a bunch of hard legs, then I got questions. And those men are secure in their own spaces. Both of the B's is insane tonight.

SPEAKER_03 42:55

I love it. I love it. Keep the chat going, guys. Keep it going. Share this live, keep it going. And we just once again, we want to just make this a disclaimer. We are not pretending to be experts. We are just two people, as we say, keeping it real.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

And then to come back to Britney's uh conversation, Byron's gonna say, minus the lifestyle captain, aka Captain America, as he calls me, regular people give her a chance to miss you. Yeah, she just did from five in the morning to eight at night every single day of the week. And it's Friday now, and I got free time. So yeah, she missed me. Now I'm about to cash in on all that missing. So yeah. Hello. Hey, uh, I'm on my way. I'm about to come get you. We about to go up here with everybody else. See you in a minute. Hope you're ready. Because I don't like to wait. She'll tell you, I don't like to wait at all. Byron, I'm not doing this with you tonight. I'm not. This this is and that's that's a zip A right there. Captain America. Yeah, I'll say it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing This is the kind of guy we got to deal with, America. I work from home and she does deuces. Yeah. Chunk the deuce all you want, dude, bro.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

So here's my thing. So let I want to twist that. So, Byron, what if what if she was like that? So, like, put yourself in our shoes. And I'm not saying that you, I know you love your wife. I know that. But if she had that same energy, like, how would that make y'all feel? And I'm not being funny, like, y'all are sometimes can be just as sensitive as we can. Emotional creatures. Yeah. Yes, y'all can be. So to say that.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

He says I'm a realist. Okay. But I want to go ahead because uh a friend of the show, Jamika, dropped in this show.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

Hi, Jamaica. What up, mate? Jamika's here every week. Thank you so much for your support.

SPEAKER_00 44:56

And thanks a lot, Byron, because you got her going. She said, I think it depends on the friend group because sometimes I want to chill with my friends that are married with a few girls. And that's cool. And there's nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_03 45:11

And it does depend on the friend group.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_03 45:13

It does. It definitely depends on the friend group.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

But guess what? I'm going with my wife.

SPEAKER_03 45:20

Yeah, Byron, y'all do listen, we get on each other's nerves. And that's okay. But I'm not about to be like, you know what? I'm about to go out with my girls. You just walk in through the door and I'm out. No. I love my friends, and my friends know I love them, but I love my man. I'm in love with my man.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

That that said, don't care. I'll be called every name in a book, and I'll wear a shirt with it that's on there. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 45:51

That is Jamika from Britannia. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

Brittannia, it is. That's that's your friend.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

You got people thinking her name is Britannia, don't they?

SPEAKER_00 45:58

Everybody can read and say Brittany.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

Be professional on this. Good girl.

SPEAKER_00 46:01

Oh, okay. Yes, Brittany. That is Jamika from Berkshire High School. Thank you. Okay. Yes. You want me to put my pinky up too while I say that? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 46:11

Guys, I love that this chat is going. Byron, the villain per usual.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 46:19

What did Jamika say?

SPEAKER_00 46:21

Hold on, B. I'm gonna get to you. Jamika says, sorry I'm late. You have to have a balance because some husbands you can't open up around them. And that's true.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

And that's true.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

That's why I said I think I'm a different kind of guy. It's a whole lot of men that's not like me whatsoever. And I'm totally fine with that. And I respect a guy that's not like me. Yeah. I'm not saying that is wrong, or I'm not saying my way is the right way. That's just me. I'm speaking for myself. And I'm speaking for our situation. But yeah, it's nothing wrong with that, Amika. You cool. You ain't saying nothing wrong. But yeah, y'all just had a high school reunion on here, Jamika and uh Brittany.

SPEAKER_03 47:00

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 47:01

Go on here and love each other.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

Finally, a real person. Nice to meet you. Okay, Byron.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

It's so crazy.

SPEAKER_03 47:11

So, Byron, answer me this. Oh, goodness. Lord, give me the words. Hold on. Let me tell you something.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

Let me tell you something. All right. Let me tell you something.

SPEAKER_03 47:24

I just want to know your take or your view on marriage. And I know you're a newlywed, but I really want to know your take and your view on marriage. Please, I mean, put it in the chat because.

SPEAKER_00 47:36

Get them Twitter fingers going, Drake.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

Just because I and maybe he's coming from a place where most men come from. Maybe he's speaking on behalf of other men.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

Um I don't know. Here's the answer. This is what Drake Twitter fingers did. I love hanging with my mom with my wife. She's my best friend.

SPEAKER_03 47:58

What do they do in Family Feud? Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. I didn't know where that was, where that was going. I really didn't.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

Mika got a question. She said, I want to ask you guys, do you think it's okay to have hobbies separately? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Definitely. Yeah, one of the things. Definitely.

SPEAKER_03 48:19

You want to for me, like I was talking about earlier, Jamika, um, when we first got on, that one of my hobbies has become um Pilates. Like I absolutely am obsessed with Pilates. And he actually pays for it monthly. So I'm obsessed with it.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

You're welcome, Tay Tay.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

So I think it's very important to have hobbies outside of one another. Um just to be who you are, outside of being a wife or a husband. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

And we have plenty of hobbies that are away from each other. Because hell, she don't want to do everything I do on my daily basis. Not at all. And don't get me wrong, I used to take Pilates, and that's because it was mandatory when I used to play back in the day. But I'm not about to go to Pilates every day. I'm not about to go to uh uh because she goes out with her friends sometimes and everything like that. And I'm not about to go unless she asks me to go. I'm not just about to bust up in the thing saying, hey y'all, I'm here. What my wife is doing? I'm not about to do that. Yeah, and we all know our personalities are two totally different things, and our upbringings are kind of similar, but the areas are two totally different things. So we are gonna be into two totally different things, and what I'm into, she's not.

SPEAKER_03 49:36

I love it. Y'all got this chat going. I love it. Once again, I we thank y'all so much for the support.

SPEAKER_00 49:40

Yeah, I appreciate all y'all's all you're trying to read everybody's comments. My boyfriend hates lots of hiking. He will be outdoors for a little bit, but I don't want him to feel bad. I love being outdoors and long hikes and kayaking. And that's cool.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

And that's cool. So I what I would do is I'll find some of your girlfriends that like to do the same thing. You know what I mean? And and let him know, like always invite him. So Evan knows I always leave the invitation open, whether it's Pilates, which I know he's not gonna do, or whether it's me going out with the girls, like, hey, I'm going out with the girls tonight after dinner or whatever. If you want to come meet us for drinks after, I leave that invitation open so he doesn't feel I don't want to say left out, but that I'm leaving you out.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

I'll never feel left out. I'm all good by myself. I have a personal party in here, a pee-pee.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

All right.

SPEAKER_00 50:29

Yeah, I don't never feel left out. I just come home and watch sports all day without her saying, You watching another game? Yes. Yes, I am. So go ahead and continue to do what you were doing. Go upstairs and watch more wives killing husbands on Snapped and everything else that y'all watch.

SPEAKER_03 50:46

Anyway, we're not even going to that because it's it's it's not even that it's not even that issues.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

Snapped mean women snapped.

SPEAKER_03 50:52

I don't even watch snapped anymore. I watch Dateline. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

Yeah, the Dateline episodes of this wife had lost it on her husband.

SPEAKER_03 50:59

It don't even be that. Anyway, you're getting sidetracked.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

No, I'm actually not. We're talking about hobbies and what we do separately.

SPEAKER_03 51:05

That's not okay.

SPEAKER_00 51:06

I do watch my crime, and it's not just a hobby, I watch crime shows. Yeah. If we was to go in the database that we have and it goes with sports, crime shows, crime shows is definitely gonna 100% outweighs.

SPEAKER_03 51:20

And most women watch, yes.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

Yeah, so that's what we're talking about. Different hobbies are separate.

SPEAKER_03 51:23

As Byron says, stuff we hate to watch. Yeah. And the thing is, I don't hate watching sports all the time. I love watching sports. It's just you, I mean, like I said, walking ESPN. I cannot sit and watch eight hours of football film. I'm not coming off the line.

SPEAKER_00 51:39

But it's my life, so I need to.

SPEAKER_03 51:40

Right, and I and I even watch Huddle with you. I I know plays, so but but back to Jamika's question. Yes, it's great to have separate hobbies.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

Yeah, and you're right, B, she does watch games with me, a whole lot of games with you.

SPEAKER_03 51:54

I do watch the games. Thank you, Byron. Okay, you're making some sense now. You're making some sense now.

SPEAKER_00 51:59

But she hates when I go, like March Madness. Sometimes, don't care if my employer's listening. I'll take a personal day just to watch from sunup to sundown. I'll watch from noon all the way to midnight every single game. I will. And not even have a problem with doing that. But she hates when I do it because it's over uh what do you say? Overindulgent or just too much.

SPEAKER_03 52:23

No, it's overstimulating.

SPEAKER_00 52:25

Yeah, for somebody that can't understand the hunger. These kids is trying to win, baby.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

You know? Once again, I'm not coming off the line of scrimmage, so I don't need to be watching it like that. Yeah, whatever. What Byron said?

SPEAKER_00 52:41

Uh oh. Oh, of course, he's taking a shot at college athletes.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

All right, we're not doing this. This is not game for all seasons. This is you plus me equals us. We're not gonna stay on sports, Byron. We're not gonna stay there.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

What you talking about, Megan? Hold on, let me see. I stopped inviting him because he kept saying that that's far. Whoa. That's whoa. Can I say this? Yeah, I can. That's for white people. Now he's saying he still wants an invite. Men are so confusing sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 53:12

Not sometimes, all the time.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Uh hey, Mickey, I was with you until you said that now about a man being confusing. Come on now, Mickey. No, no. I told you last episode we are basic bees, okay? That's not confusing at all.

SPEAKER_03 53:27

Yeah, it is. Like I said, it goes back to once again. I think that was episode two.

SPEAKER_00 53:30

Yeah. We speak two totally different languages. Yeah, we speak in English, and y'all speak Mandarin, German, Swahili, and uh Nigasaki. Okay, you don't need to be saying that word. No.

SPEAKER_03 53:44

Um, but for him to say that it's for white people, it is not. Um, he can definitely say that he's uninterested in going, but I feel like like if there's a lot of things that I do that you don't want to do, but you still support it. So I think it's that support that we look for from our significant other. Yeah, I supported all day. Yeah, and then and keep the the comments like that to a minimal. Like, you know, I if Evan, well, Evan has said things in the past where um I would say, you know, that would hurt my feelings or whatever, and he stopped saying it, but like keep your comments sometimes to a minimal.

SPEAKER_00 54:17

So see what you did, Jamika? Now you done open up a whole nother can of worms with 54 minutes into the episode. So we're gonna open them can of worms and we're gonna eat them like sardines. So when you say keep your comments to a minimum, but then at the end of the day, turn around and say, communicate. Oh, what a tangle web we weave. What do we do? Do we communicate or do we keep our comments to a minimum? Because keeping your comments to a minimum is not communicating. And communicating is not keeping your comments to a minimum. What do we do?

SPEAKER_03 55:01

Whoa, boy. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:02

I'm talking to Jamaica. And you said communicate, and you said keep your comments to a minimum. And she was talking about the uh WP comment that her boyfriend made. That was totally insane. She put that on here. Uh oh.

SPEAKER_03 55:19

No, I don't think your activities are different, Jamika. I just think, you know, he if he loves you for who you are, he will accept that. And that, like I said, that that Evan had to accept the life. You know, we we kind of from the same area a little bit. So there was things.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

And no, kind of y'all are from the same area and the same upbringing and same hobbies and habits. And you had to adjust. Absolutely had to adjust. Because I never ran into any person that done that has done that kind of stuff before. So yeah, I used to have all the smart comments and used to have so many jokes for hours, and then it turned out it hurt her feelings. Yeah. But I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings, I was just having fun with the situation. So that's what I thought communication was. I was getting it all out, but just making it in a funny form that I thought. It was only funny to me to me and everybody else that was raised and born my way, but clearly it wasn't to her.

SPEAKER_03 56:10

So and you didn't make me forget my train of thought because you just went after your train of thought. No, I didn't. It's to come that comes across a certain way. Yes. And that once again, that goes back on how y'all say stuff. That was, I think, that was episode two as well. On how y'all can say stuff. Y'all don't realize how when it comes in your head, it's one way, but when it comes out, I mean like you said, it hurt my feelings. It can it what he said, I hurt her feelings.

SPEAKER_00 56:42

Yeah, that's what I said. And what I said earlier about setting the tone for the conversation, how you approach it. And if I approach it with a horrible joke, in your opinion, which I thought was a funny joke, it hurt your feelings. So that's setting the tone for the conversation to be horrible. Yeah, no, that I totally agree. But I I ain't about to say that I didn't do that. I've done that plenty of times. And then sometimes I still do that.

SPEAKER_03 57:06

You've gotten better.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

I still have my slip-ups though.

SPEAKER_03 57:09

Yeah, but I think me, us being um our and going back to communication, you you I can't I'm not gonna let me stop. Because I'm gonna I'm about to go in deep to our stuff because you've gotten so much better with communicating.

SPEAKER_00 57:23

I still need work.

SPEAKER_03 57:25

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_00 57:26

Be transparent. I love it. No, I am being transparent.

SPEAKER_03 57:29

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Because hell, I still need work. Because there's times where I still, just like we was talking about in another episode, when you're fighting to get the last word, I still struggle with that. Not just with conversations with us, just conversations, period.

SPEAKER_03 57:43

I think it's just your character.

SPEAKER_00 57:45

Yeah, but it's I guess sometimes because a lot of people don't know how to take it when I say stuff a certain way, and I don't be meaning to be demeaning when I say it, but I don't think you're demeaning it.

SPEAKER_03 57:56

I always tell you that, and excuse my French, that you're you can be a dick, not to me, but just to other people. But I think that's something within you that you just have to work on.

SPEAKER_00 58:05

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I need to work on. But and I don't think it's a problem, but everybody talks about my monotone, and it's hard to understand what feeling I'm feeling when I'm expressing my feelings. Because you know, sometimes when people are hurt, they sound a certain way. And if people are trying to convey something, they sound a certain way, and everybody says I'm just the same way, no matter what conversation, and it's hard to do, but I don't know. I don't think it's a problem just because it's me. So yeah, I need help, y'all.

SPEAKER_03 58:38

Okay, I don't know where that just went. Uh, what did Byron say? Y'all can have a spiced tongue as well. And we can. Spiked. Spiked, I'm sorry. Okay, it says spice. Um, oh, him and Jamika going at him. This is a weekly thing with these two. This is what Byron does.

SPEAKER_00 58:54

Yeah, I told you. A little pistol start.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

And to be transparent, when we were actually going through um marriage counseling uh with Mr. and Mrs. Tongues and Sword. Yeah, I I was told because as most women do, I don't say most women, I'll speak for myself. When I would get into an argument with him, knowing this is a person that I love more than anything, I would say things that um would hurt him deep. And we were very open and obviously in marriage counseling. And she told me, she said, your tongue is like a double-edged sword. And that stuck with me. We've been married for seven going on 17 years. That stuck with me.

SPEAKER_01 59:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:33

And so I would tell any, you know, any woman or man, um, check yourself. Check yourself when you're having that conversation with um your significant other or disagreement. Choose your words wisely because words stick. They stick.

SPEAKER_00 59:49

They stick like glue. And what they say will bounce off of me, stick to you. Did I say that right?

SPEAKER_03 59:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:55

But I never said that as well.

SPEAKER_03 59:56

And and speaking of that, speaking of you and me.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:00

Um equals what?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:02

Us.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:02

Uses.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:03

So that is gonna wrap it up tonight, guys. Um, this chat was absolutely amazing. Thank y'all again for the support. Um we we this is something that we've been wanting to serve for such a long time. Um, and those that really know us know this is just really how we really are. We we speak this to our friends or people we we don't know in the sauna um daily. This is we love marriage. Um, so every week we'll be live on Facebook, live on YouTube.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:33

Go to YouTube, type in the search bar, Coach E Game for All Seasons. Every single episode of this podcast and every single episode of my other podcast will be there, and every other piece of content that I post on there as well. So you need to be watching that for these episodes and other things that you need to be kept up to uh so you can follow us.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:55

Okay, I was about to say, I don't, someone's got his tongue tonight, it ain't me. Um but but like I said, um just catch us every week, 7:30. No, 7, yeah, 7 30. Thursdays, 70s. Thursdays. We we've we we're getting through the kinks, but once again, just thank you again for your support. This is something that um we started and we didn't think that it would take off like this, but to God be the be the glory.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

Amen. Shout out to the man behind the curtain. You know who you are, brother. Appreciate your mind.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:23

Yes, thank you so much. Seriously, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:26

But with that being said, we'll see you next week, Thursday, 7 30, no CP time. Peace.