Tips for Gospel Conversations

Sharing the gospel with your kids should not be scary! Join Courtney Hays and Heather Perkins as they talk about ways to make the gospel a part of everyday conversations in your home.

Transcript

Speaker 0:00

Hey friends and neighbors, I'm your host, Courtney Hays, and this is the Silverdale Kids Podcast. Each month we'll chat about what's coming up in Silverdale Kids and the ways you can help your child know God, love God, and treasure his word. This month I'm joined by Heather Perkins, our Elementary Associate on our Bonny Oaks campus. Heather, hi. Hey Courtney, how are you? Good. Heather, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Speaker 1 0:24

So outside of Silverdale Kids, I am married to Brad and I have one daughter, Sofia, who is six and she's in kindergarten.

Speaker 0:31

Oh, and we're big fans of Sofia in Silverdale Kids. So Heather's here. We're going to be talking about having gospel conversations with your kids. Heather, we asked you to come specifically today because I know that this is something you are passionate about. Talk to me a little bit about why this is so important to you.

Speaker 1 0:52

Well, I think as parents, we all understand um how important the gospel is and for our kids to understand the gospel. We desperately want them to know Jesus, and that's a good feeling to have. I think a lot of times that there is a lot of fear or anxiety around sharing the gospel with our kids because we don't want to mess it up. And I think there's just a lot of encouragement in it that the gospel, it is profound, it is the power of God for salvation, but it's so accessible to kids when we have the right tools, and so I really just hope that this is an encouraging conversation for everybody.

Speaker 1:24

This is a thing we hear over and over again from parents because they do really care about this and and they don't want to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. And so we just want to reassure you today, first of all, that God honors your obedience and having these conversations. And there is so much grace that He offers us and that your kids will offer you as you have gospel conversations. But also, Heather and I, just our whole kids team really, wants you to understand that we're we're not here to give you a script today to say, hey, memorize this thing and then try to force this conversation. Um, but we want you to feel equipped uh for every situation and make the most of your time with your kids uh around the gospel. So, Heather, talk to us about some of the things that we should be thinking about as parents and maybe how we can be looking for opportunities to bring the gospel into our conversations.

Speaker 1 2:25

Well, when I think about gospel conversations, I think about planned spontaneity. That's something that I heard once from somebody. I don't know where it came from, but I think it's a great way to think about gospel conversations with our kids. Planned in the sense that we are ready with answers, but spontaneous because we don't know when our kids are going to have questions about the gospel. So I think it's important for parents to recognize that it's a fluid thing. It's a conversation that is ongoing, there's a lot of movement to it. There are going to be times when we sit down as a family and we study God's word. Those might last for about 10 minutes or less sometimes. But sometimes the best conversations happen on the go and they may be two or three minute conversations. Those are just as fruitful. So I think that's something important for parents to have in mind as they're thinking through , what does this look like? How do we approach this? Sometimes it's planned, a lot of times it's not.

Speaker 3:17

Yeah. And and it, I mean, just in general, God calls us to be ready to share the gospel at any moment. And so when you're talking about planning, uh what does that look like for you?

Speaker 1 3:35

I think that being planned for me personally means that I am growing in my own faith and in my own understanding of the gospel and how it's working in my life. Because, you know, the gospel, one thing that I've learned and took away from our pastor's series last year was that the gospel is just as relevant to us after we're saved as it is um leading up to salvation. So in that sense, constantly reminding myself of the work of the gospel in my own life as a believer, and when I'm growing in my faith, um when I'm following Jesus, when I'm abiding in the vine, that's how I plan. That's how I'm ready to have these conversations with my daughter. Uh at the same time, I think it's really helpful just to have kid-friendly language as we approach this. And um I can share that if that's something that you think would be useful.

Speaker 4:24

Yeah, I think that's really where I think a lot of parents are, you know, they're studying God's word. They , whether that's through a small group or a men's or women's Bible study, and they're they're trying to um see how the gospel is working in their own lives, but that can feel really complicated, right? And all the ways that God is dealing with us and the ways that He's convicting us, and not all of that feels appropriate to share with our kids, but some of it it does. And so can you kind of talk to us about what that kid-friendly language is so that way our parents can have a sense of, you know, feeling equipped for taking what God's doing in and with them and talking to their kids about it.

Speaker 1 5:10

Yes, I would love to do that. So if your kids attend Silverdale Kids with us on weekends, um, we talk about this a lot. We talk about the gospel, God's plan for me. And it's a five-point framework that we talk in part or in whole almost every single weekend in Kids Quest. So I'll share those five parts and then maybe go back and delve a little bit deeper into what each one of them means. So the five parts are God rules, we send, God provided, Jesus gives, and we respond. So that's how we present it. Let me go through each of those points and just kind of give you little talking points for each of those. So when we say um God rules, I love that we start there. That's important for kids to understand why God has the authority to give us rules to live by, right? And we know that kids, my daughter in particular, you know, she doesn't love people telling her what to do if they don't have a right to do that. And that's all kids, right? They need to know why somebody has this authority. And so we teach kids that God is the creator and the king of everything. Because he's the creator, we live in his world. We are his creation, we belong to him. So he has the right and the authority to give us rules to live by. And this is a great time to share that his rules are good rules for us to live by. He's not authoritarian, he's not bossy, he's a good God. And um, you know, I love that Forrest Frank song, you know, your way is better, because his way is better. And that's a great way to talk about, you know, God rules. He's the king, he's given us rules to live by. Then we come to the second part. We sinned, you know, this is the hard part, the part that none of us honestly like to talk about, but we have to. Um, a great definition for sin is anything that we think, say, or do that disobeys God and his word. It's really important for kids to understand that. And it's also really important for them to recognize what scripture teaches us about sin. It's very serious, right? It separates us from God. We all do it, and the fair punishment for it is death. And I think we can't um set up the good news of Jesus Christ if we don't first dwell there sometimes on the heaviness of our sin. So um that's the we sinned part. Thankfully, we get to the good news, right? The good news is that God provided um from the very beginning of time. God had a plan to rescue us. And really that's the whole story of scripture, isn't it? Because we see sin right away, right in Genesis, but we also see God's plan and his announcement of his plan immediately. That he wants to be in relationship with us. And the way that he chose to do that was by sending his own son to be the answer for us, the way of salvation for us. And so then we talk about Jesus, Jesus gives. He chose to give his life for us. Um, I think it's important for kids to recognize, and we took actually recently just talked about this in Kids' Quest, um, Jesus was fully God, but also fully human. So he lived a life just like we do, had feelings and emotions, and the cross was painful for him in a human body, but also fully God, never sinned. And that alone is what qualifies him to be our savior. And so, in a nutshell, that's the gospel, and we end on, we respond, right? And this is the great part. I love Romans 10 :9, you know, which tells us that if we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. That is the easiest thing in the world. Confess and believe, because Jesus did all the work. Um, so that's the you know, 50,000-foot overview of the gospel. But in kid-friendly language, I think most kids are able to understand. Yeah.

Speaker 8:48

And what I love about that is we can take things that happen in our every day and focus on different parts of that. So um I remember being on walks with my kids and saying, Man, look at this world that God made. Wasn't God so good to make this world for us? Reinforcing in the things that you see every day, God rules. God rules. And when you're dealing with discipline issues, or when you're seeing, I mean, it can be really difficult to explain um things like sickness and death, um, and those difficult situations that families sometimes find themselves in, but using that connection to Genesis 3, like, man, the world is broken. And um, we we deal with brokenness in our everyday people get sick, people die. Um, I taught with a lady one time who was part of a blended family, and I was so impressed by the way they would be trying to figure out when her stepdaughter could come visit, and her sons were frustrated because they couldn't plan this family thing until they could work all of that out. And she said, Hey, I just want you to know, like God's been so gracious to give us this family, but it came out of brokenness, and it's God's grace to us that he gives us each other, but sin caused the brokenness here, and so we're gonna deal with some things that are hard because of the brokenness that start that started in in the divorce. Um, but man, what a kind God to give us this new family. And I was just always so impressed by the way that she tied the gospel into those hard things that can become a source of bitterness or resentment. But she brought it back to the work that God was doing in restoring what was broken. And so we can look at those things when we have to address hard situations. Yeah, God rules. He had this perfect design for us, but we sinned and introduced brokenness into the world. And so my father-in-law always said, life's a little short of heaven. Yes. And and reminding kids of that. Oh, we life is short of heaven because of sin. And then just looking at there's so much in our lives that we can see that God provided for us. What are some what are some practical ways that you could bring that God provided into conversations with your kids?

Speaker 1 11:29

Yeah, so I think that we live in a time and place where our kids are well provided for. And I think that it's important to always bring that back to um, you know, mommy and daddy have given this to you, but ultimately this all belongs to God, you know, our jobs that we're able to pay for these good things that you have in your life. You know, it can always stem back to God, um, being our provider in everything, especially through his son.

Speaker 11:57

And when you were talking about how Jesus gives, how Jesus was fully God, but also feel fully human and made the choice to give his life for our sins. Uh, what a great picture that paints for our kids. First of all, that he loved them that much. But also when we have to ask our kids to do hard things, sometimes uh that Jesus was willing to do the hardest thing for us. And sometimes the things he asks us to do in obedience to him are also very hard. But we have his example. Uh, that he did not shy away from the cross, he didn't run when he could have run, uh, he he didn't hide when he could have hidden, uh, he didn't complain when he could have complained. And uh the fact that that is our example, that Jesus gives his life so generously for us, we can give to others, we can do hard things because Jesus did hard things, and all of this stuff comes up in everyday conversation. And so I think one of the things that I'm taking away from what you're saying is that this is not an appointment-driven conversation. It is not that we are not putting on our calendar gospel conversation with my children at 3:30 p.m. today, because it really is that abiding that you talked about.

Speaker 1 13:34

That's right.

Speaker 13:35

If we're doing that and we're seeking the Lord and we're saying, God, show me gospel truth in everything that we're doing so I can point it out to my kids. Uh God's gonna give us these opportunities and they may not come when we expect them. I remember when one of my daughters decided to follow Jesus, she was cleaning up toys, and it was like the Holy Spirit just convicted her all of a sudden, and she was like, I want to follow Jesus. I was like, Oh, oh, I thought we were doing chores. I have no idea, but God is always moving. Yes. And also a thing we want to talk about is in that we can't really orchestrate this. We want to be faithful and keep the gospel consistently in front of our kids through reading scripture together as a family. Um, but talk to me about how long these conversations could or should last.

Speaker 1 14:27

Well, you know, it was funny. As you were talking about your daughter accepting Christ while cleaning up the floor, I just I have a very vivid memory of my daughter when she was, I think, three. We were in the car, I don't know where we were going, but we were listening to a song that we sing in Kids Quest. And it was a song about God um being the creator and making us. And she asked, and I don't even remember the question, but she asked something about, you know, why did God create? And I was like, oh my goodness, what a golden opportunity. And so I'm having this conversation with her. I got to the point where I told her, like, and he made you with a, you know, a great purpose and a plan, and it was going great. And then she just goes, hmm, I wonder where my Barbie went, you know? And it's like, and I was like, oh, okay, so we're done now. You know, it was three minutes. And I was a little bit discouraged and in my mind, like, Lord, why didn't that last longer? It was such a great conversation. But then I remembered, like, he uses that, you know, and even little tiny truth deposits, they add up over time. So those conversations that are really short and on the fly are just as significant sometimes as the longer ones that we're able to have. And, you know, I think sometimes we put unrealist expectations on ourselves. If I had it my way, you know, it would be 20 to 30 minutes every day of the week that we sit down and open up. It just doesn't work that way. It just doesn't. And that's okay. You know, we have these expectations, and it's okay to say goodbye to them. Because that's just not how life works in general.

Speaker 15:56

Right. And the the thing that I keep imagining as you're talking about this is that we're dripping this information instead of putting our children in front of a fire hydrant and opening it up. Uh, that that that dripping is much more effective because it is it's doing what Deuteronomy 6 talks about, right? It is taking the truth of God and reinforcing it as we go on our way, as we sit down, as we stand up, as we wake up, as we go to bed. And that is really what allows our kids to dwell in the gospel, is when it just is has become a part of their everyday. And that's why a lot of times if parents say, Hey, you know, what should I study with my kids in the Bible? Like what is there a book we should read? Is there, and there are some great resources out there, and we have those on silverdale bc.com/slash kids. There's a a page of resources that we recommend. But really, what I tell parents over and over again is study God's word and then talk to your kids about what you're learning. If there was a verse that you read today that really convicted you or encouraged you, or challenged you, or whatever, share that with your kid so that they will then feel comfortable sharing with you when God does the same thing with them through his word. We want you to know this is not scary. It should not be scary. It may feel scary the first time you do it, but this is a good thing. And uh and it is a simple thing. It's not always an easy thing, but it is a simple thing to practice. And your kids are so gracious with you. You could flub all of your words and they will not remember. They're gonna give you a fresh chance tomorrow. Yes. Or if they do remember, you can just giggle about it and move on because there's so much safety there. But we just want you to feel equipped and please know at all of our campuses, our kids' ministry team, we love encouraging parents in this. We love having these conversations with you. So if you listen to this and you're like, I still have questions, I'm still not sure how to approach this. Come talk to us. We would love to dialogue with you about what this can look like in your family and pray for you and encourage you because this is valuable work. It is a life-changing practice to talk to your kids about the gospel as you go along your way. Heather, is there anything else you want to share with our families before we wrap up?

Speaker 1 18:43

I think that we all need reminded that we are not responsible for saving our kids. Yes. We wish we were, but we're not. We can't be. And that's relieving to know. We're just called to be faithful in this. And I think when we pray for opportunities, we pray for those little moments of open doors to have these conversations, the Lord will provide. Um, so thank the Lord that Jesus did what he did and that it's not up to us.

Speaker 19:09

Oh, there's there's never a better reminder than that we are not the Holy Spirit. We are not. We don't have that responsibility, and we shouldn't try to. No, no. Uh that there's so much comfort in that. Yes. Oh, well, Heather, thank you so much for uh talking with us today and sharing your wisdom on this topic. In Silverdough Kids, we believe that great things happen when children know God, love God, and treasure his word. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm glad I was here.