Get Out of Your Head and Trust What You Feel | Ashley Watkins

If you’ve been living in your head… second-guessing, overthinking, trying to “figure it out”… this episode is for you.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Ashley Watkins, a former teacher turned coach, who built her career not by following a plan… but by following what felt right.

We talk about what it actually looks like to trust yourself in real life. Not in theory.

Ashley shares how she makes decisions based on her gut, how her inner critic shows up as she builds her business, and why community has been one of the biggest shifts in quieting self-doubt.

We also get into:

•  The moment you know you’ve disconnected from your intuition 
•  Why overthinking is often a sign you’re in your head, not your body 
•  The pressure to “have a plan” and what happens when you don’t 
•  The best and worst career advice she’s ever received 
•  Why “have more fun” might be more important than you think 

This one is honest, grounded, and a reminder that you don’t need more strategy… you need to trust yourself enough to take the next step.

Pull up a chair, grab a drink, and join us Court-side.

About the Podcast

Court-side Conversations is a podcast about leadership, self-trust, and the moments that shape us.

Each episode features a candid conversation with remarkable women about the experiences that helped them trust themselves, navigate challenges, and move forward with confidence and integrity.

Hosted by Courtney Headley, founder of Center Court Collective.

New episodes released every other week. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

When I find myself too caught up in the mind and the ruminating and the rationalizing, like I know I've disconnected from my gut. And like as women, I think sometimes we that's not, you know, if somebody says it's my intuition, like, ha ha ha. No, that that shit is real. That's where the best stuff comes from.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Hi, and welcome to courtside conversations. This episode is for the woman that's been living inside her head and is ready to start trusting what she's feeling. I hope you enjoy. Today I am joined by Ashley Watkins. She is a woman I actually have only recently just met, but felt an instant connection to. And I am and have been inspired by her insightfulness and just her realness, which I think is what drew me to Ashley. So, Ashley, thank you so much for joining me today. Yes, I'm so excited to be here and have this conversation with you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Can you share with our listeners just a little bit about yourself? And then I'd also love to hear how we know each other and then what you're drinking today.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Perfect. Okay. Well, my name is Ashley Watkins. I live in the Midwest in the Wichita, Kansas area. So smack dab in the middle of the country. And I personally am married. I have two wonderful stepkids in their 20s. Professionally, I was a classroom teacher, high school English and journalism, for about 20 years. And in the last few years of my teaching, I was starting to kind of think about a couple things. One was what does life outside the classroom look like? And the other was seeing my students' social and emotional needs becoming more apparent, which is what drew me to coaching. And so went through coach training, started in April 2020, came back in September and just felt myself transformed as a teacher, but also personally through coaching. I think especially just the idea of you learn really how to listen. You learn that even if someone asks you asks you for advice, it's probably more empowering to ask them questions and believing that they have their own answers. So that was very impactful in my relationships with my students. And then I was like, oh, I love this. You know, I loved teaching too, but coaching kind of took the number one spot. So when I was still teaching, I started my coaching business, Ashley Watkins Coaching, left the classroom in 22 and have been building that business ever since. And then in the last about year and a half, um, I have become certified as a human design coach. And so really working with adults through that human design lens, been doing that now officially for about a year. And then I also work part-time, still in the education realm, as an instructional coach and presenter for an ed tech company. So, you know, I just have found myself saying a lot lately, like, wow, I really love my life as we sit here. I am drinking a Diet Coke. Diet Coke is really having a moment. Uh, but I've been a Diet Coke drinker. I like to say I'm an OG. Um, and then, oh, how do we know each other? Yes. So I've been working with a wonderful mentor coach. Her name is Robin Ferguson. And she said, you might really enjoy this coach training program or this organization called the Academy for Coaching Excellence. And so that is where you and I met. And I just knew when I saw, I will never forget like the first day, your background was so vibrant. And then, of course, when you spoke, like I was like, oh, I need to know this girl. So here we are.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Well, trust that the feeling was mutual. Like, I am sincere when I say I through Zoom felt like a tug towards you. I just felt connected. So I am so grateful that you're here. And I'm curious to hear human design is not something that I was, you know, aware of really before you mentioned it candidly. And so I'm curious like, is this something that is like sort of new-ish? Is it becoming more popular?

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Yeah. So um it's been around for a while, like probably 40 plus years. It's become more in the general lexicon. So it's a self-awareness tool, different than like things like the Enneagram, Disc, Myers-Briggs, in that it is not like a quiz you take where you like kind of self-select. But human design is based on your birth information. It is very rooted in like practical tools and saying this is who you're, this is kind of your unique blueprint of how you're wired to show up in the world. And how can you do the work on yourself, understand your gifts to really just bring that forth even more?

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Cool. I'm so interested. I would love to, I'd love to learn more. What would someone not see, or what would not be obvious to someone if they if they look at your career journey as you just described it? Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Um probably that I did not have a plan of where I would end up. Um I got out of college and I had decided that I was gonna go to a school because I liked the vibes. I just like wasn't bothered of like what is the job I'm gonna do? You know, I oh I did not plan to be a teacher. So from my alma mater, they said, Well, you have a theology degree, you can teach religion, you don't need to have your teacher certificate. I said, Sounds good. I really fell in love with teaching and realized this is probably not the subject, but like what can I do? And it just so happened that the journalism teacher was moving and I had told my principal I might want to do something else. And he's like, Oh, there's this thing. If you have a your bachelor's in whatever the subject is, you can do this transition to teaching and you can teach while you're getting your certificate. I said, sign me up. And in the midst of that, met my husband, and then his alma mater said, We want to grow our journalism program, and we think you could do it. So again, went in, interviewed. I was like, vibes are good. Let's do it. And, you know, this is part of my human design, is I have a gut response. So I kind of am empowered to make decisions in the moment and like if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. And I just had a lot of hell yeses to say yes to. And then it came to coaching, and then it was like, well, I think I'll start a business. That way of being feels pretty good to me.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Yeah. Your path was not linear, it was not mapped out, and you just sort of followed the vibes, maybe, or the energy, or what felt right at the time. It seems to seem like the theme. Awesome. Can you tell me about a time at work um when you realized like you truly belonged, or a time when you realized that you didn't?

SPEAKER_00 7:50

A few years into my time at my second school, I just was feeling so lit up by what I was getting to do. I just really had endless energy for it. And I was tapped to lead an initiative that was gonna be a pretty big one of involving like basically some redesign of our school system, like our personal school. And I was like, Do I want to lead this? Yes, I do. So I was you the leader, it was me and another guy. So when we started to put forth things that we were like, of course everyone's gonna want this. And then people didn't. And you're talking 20 teachers. So you've got 10 that are like, let's go, I'm into it. The other 10 were like, What are you doing? Like looking back, I was not listening, I was like bulldozing a little bit. So in that moment, I felt with those 10 that were like, let's go, I'm like, oh, these are my people. They see what I'm trying to do. And then the other half I think were more like, you know, why? And I think at the time it felt like um it was pretty discouraging and it felt personal, like so. On the one hand, I felt very like much like I belonged, but on the other hand, I think that was like the turning point of like my start to exit education. Because I was like, I'm only going in this system, I'm only gonna be able to do so much. I don't feel like in by the time I left the classroom that I was like, I'm 100% the best teacher I'll ever be. But I feel like I had done everything in my control to make it what I wanted it to be for my students. So anyway, um, if that answers your question, but it was just like, be aware that I do have a lot of energy and I do have a voice that can carry some weight. And let me make sure the listening comes first. And if we need to change or we need to do things differently, we're not gonna shy away from that, but we're not going to bulldoze others in the process.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

So what I'm hearing is it felt like a time when you truly belonged because you were lit up. And then on the on the other side, you sort of realize that there are limitations to the system and you couldn't necessarily drive the impact you were hoping to drive. Uh yes, that's it. It sounds like you're someone that really reflects on experiences and you're drawing the learnings out of them. So I'm curious to hear, like, from you, what may be the best or worst career advice that you've ever received, and and how has it shaped you still today?

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Both came in my first month of teaching and both apply to anything I've done since then. The worst was don't smile till Christmas, which is like you can't show the students that you're like a real person and that you'll give them any leeway because they'll walk all over you. And I know this person was saying it to me because I literally looked like a high school student, but it goes against my like authenticity. But the best, um, this wonderful, wonderful teacher, she has since passed away. Her name was Renee LaFever. I remember first week of professional development. So all this jargon, a lot of acronyms in education. So I've got all these binders and things, and I just she must have seen it in my face because I was walking out the back door and she like stopped me and she was like, it's all gonna be okay. You're gonna internalize and know what you need to know. You're gonna show up and do what you need to do, and you're gonna make mistakes. And next year it's gonna feel so much easier. And she said, Go home, have a margarita, and don't look at those binders all weekend. And I remember it comforting me. And that is the heart of, you know, when things have flowed for me in my career, it's like you're having fun, you're you're you're you're trying to be the best that you can. You're learning, you're you're growing, but you can't do it all right all the time. And the more I do that and find the joy and the fun and let it be what it will be, the the better things are. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

So one, be authentic. And then two, don't overthink. Just trust yourself that you can do it and you'll find your way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah. It's like when I find myself too caught up in the mind and the ruminating and the rationalizing, like I know I've disconnected from my gut. And like as women, I think sometimes we that's not, you know, if somebody says it's my intuition, like, ha ha ha. Right. No, that that shit is real. Real. Yeah. That's where the best stuff comes from. For sure. Oh, I love that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Love that. So speaking of overthinking, um can you tell me about a time or when throughout your career your inner critic has shown up and and how has that you know shaped either what you decide to do or not do?

SPEAKER_00 13:06

I think um she's been pretty loud um as I have continued to build my business. Um, and I think the inner critic says, You're a teacher. Like you, what do you know? Like, you know, it's so easy to compare. I think it's why I've drawn like my word for this jurist community, seeking out this real connection. And I think that helps with the inner critic. Um, being around other women, the more conversations I have with other women, the more I feel seen and heard. And the critic goes, because it's not, I'm not alone.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

That resonates deeply. Um, and then what I heard you say, which I love, is how you've been able to move forward as through the power of community and knowing that you're not alone in this. So, Ashley, like let's say you were starting again today, starting your career over. What would what, if anything, would you do differently?

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Don't think I would change the timing of anything. Um I feel like everything I've gone through in the length of time has been necessary for growth. But I think I would just tell her, you know, I just have more fun with it all. And I just felt alone sometimes, especially in like my first half of my teaching. Um but like just finding your people, finding your support, and it's okay to ask. Like I just remember very clearly as a new teacher being like, I don't want to ask anyone for anything. Um, I it's weakness, you know? And um that that would be the thing I would change, I think.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Yeah, ask for help and have fun. Try to have fun with whatever it is you're doing. Yes. Okay, um, are you up for a little lightning round? Yeah, fun. Okay. Yay, fun. Okay, so as with all lightning rounds, this is meant to be quick. So first thing that comes to your mind, try not to overthink, listen to your gut, and it's all work related. So have that lens. Who do you think is tougher to dip to to deal with, parents or students? Parents. Classroom or meeting room? Classroom. What is your least favorite office or workplace jargon? Circle back. What is your biggest workplace pet peeve? Apathy. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? Oh, she's wound up tight. Oh, she's gonna go. What would your younger self say if she saw you now?

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Well, she'd probably first say, like, oh my gosh, you have so many tattoos. Um and then she would say, like, wow, this is a cool life.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

I love that. Okay, so my last question for you. What is bringing you joy these days?

SPEAKER_00 16:33

I think like 90s nostalgia in general is just bringing me joy. I'm about to go see the band Rylo Kylie. They just reunited and they started doing these tours, and I wanted to go with a friend of mine who loves them too. And so we're gonna go in May and we're gonna take a road trip. And this brings me to the other thing that is bringing me joy, which is also nostalgia-based. But I came on my Sirius XM. There's this channel called Mom Jeans. Oh, I love it all. And it's all like soft pop hits from like the 80s and 90s. Nine short answer is 90s nostalgia.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

I too grew up in the 90s, and so I anything 90s, 90s music in particular, and early 2000s. I'm I'm here for amazing. Ashley, I'm so grateful that you joined me today. Thank you. One thing um so fun that I'm I'm gonna take with me from this conversation is how powerful it can be to get out of your head and get into your body and trust trust what you are feeling. Um, and and follow the good vibes. Like, I feel like that's so powerful. Um, and it served you well, and just have fun with where you are. So I think um there's a lot of wisdom in what feels pretty light. Okay, and so before we go, I always like to ask my guest if they have uh a favorite toast that you like to do when you're toasting with someone.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

I would say mostly it's just like um I like just just being in the moment. And then I like the thing that people do where after you toast, then you touch the glass to the table and then you drink it. That just feels like a good like little juju thing. So I would say any toast, you're gonna touch the glass and then drink.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

How about that? Yes, I love that. Well, let's do that then. We'll do a virtual cheers.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yay, cheers.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Oh, and then I forgot with my cameras. Yeah. Yay. And drink. Love it. Thank you. All right, listeners. Well, thank you so much for pulling up a chair with Ashley and I today. If any of what you heard resonated with you, please do share this podcast with a woman that you love. And if you and I are not yet connected on LinkedIn, please come find me. I would love to say hi. I'm always listening. And I look forward to seeing you next time. Cheers.