She Looked Confident. She Was Secretly Second-Guessing Everything. | Angelique Bui

What if the people who seem the most confident are also questioning themselves behind the scenes?

In this episode of Court-side Conversations, Courtney sits down with Angelique Bui, a leader with more than 30 years of experience in corporate America, to talk about the self-doubt that followed her throughout her career, even when others saw her as confident, capable, and strong.

Angie shares what it was like leaving a company after 17 years, stepping into a completely new role, navigating intense imposter syndrome, and learning how to move forward anyway.

Together, Courtney and Angie explore:

• What imposter syndrome feels like
• The power of self-affirmation during moments of uncertainty
• Why learning to lead without authority matters
• How to quiet the noise when your inner critic gets loud
• Why giving yourself permission to make mistakes is so important

If you've ever looked successful on the outside while quietly questioning yourself on the inside, this conversation is for you.

Pull up a chair, grab a drink, and join us Court-side.

Connect with Courtney
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About the Podcast

Court-side Conversations is a podcast about leadership, self-trust, and the moments that shape us.

Each episode features a candid conversation with remarkable women about the experiences that helped them trust themselves, navigate challenges, and move forward with confidence and integrity.

Hosted by Courtney Headley, founder of Center Court Collective.

New episodes released every other week. 

Transcript

The confidence people saw vs. the self-doubt they didn't

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I think what people would see was kind of more of a confident, strong, you know, person. But I think what they didn't see was more of just there was always this second guessing and questioning myself and am I making the right decisions? Am I doing the right thing? Am I am I able to lead? Should I, you know, especially doing something completely different than what I had been doing before and having that imposter syndrome, like badly at times. In the beginning, I mean, I was, it was scary, very scary.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Hi, and welcome to Courtside Conversations. This episode is for the woman who looks confident on the outside, but is second guessing herself more than she lets on. I hope you enjoy.

Meet Angelique Bui

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Today I am joined by Angelique, who we I call her Angie or Ange. Um, and I had the pleasure of working with Angie, and I describe her as sort of a giant throbbing, beating heart in human form. She is just a woman who cares deeply and is a fantastic human. And so I am so grateful that you're here today, Angie. Thank you so much for joining. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

And thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Yay. Okay, so to kick us off, um, can you introduce yourself quickly to our listeners? Maybe just tell us a little bit about yourself personally.

unknown 1:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

So as Courtney said, my name is Angelique, but again, my friends call me Angie. I am a single mom uh to two really great kids. I have an older child who just turned 23 uh and is in college, and then I have a 14-year-old who thinks he's 30, but it's a lot of fun. He's a lot of fun. He's a lot, he keeps me on my toes. Um yeah, just love to read, love to sing, love to do all kinds of things. So that's kind of like me in a nutshell.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

I love it. I love it. And so, Ang, tell our listeners, how did you and I meet?

SPEAKER_01 2:14

So I had been working at a company for 17 years and had just decided that I'm not going anywhere, which is so crazy, right? And so I had decided this one last role that I was gonna go ahead and take. If I don't get this, then I'm out of here. And uh a good friend of mine worked for the company that Courtney was working for and happened to know her, and decided, hey, you'd be great for this role. Let me go ahead and try to get you in. And she did. So three years later, here I am. And that's how Courtney and I met.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

How long do we work together, Angie? Like how was that a couple years?

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Like yeah, like two years at least. And in those two years, I think it was kind of like an instant connection.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Bonded every time. From the jump was great.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Yeah, basically. Yeah. Awesome. And what are you drinking today? I'm having water.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

I'm drinking lots of water.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Yeah. So I'm joining you. I have sparkling water, but joining you on the water train. So cheers to kicking off. Cheers.

A 30-year corporate career journey

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Can you give the short version of your career journey?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

So I'd say I started in corporate America probably in my early 20s, maybe. I worked for a company called Hicolab. And that was I always see that's like my big girl job because it was the first job where I felt like I had, you know, I had my own laptop. I had all these things, right? So learned a lot, had a lot of really good managers that taught me a lot in terms of like accountability, taking responsibility, taking being a leader, even though I didn't have a title. Yeah. And then ended up coming to Equinex. And it's kind of been a really great ride the last three years. I feel like I finally found my niche, so to speak. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Describe your niche. What is it that you do?

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Uh so I am a part of the community and belonging team. Uh and w specifically with employee engagement. I lead and support our flagship program. We are Equinex. And uh it's a it's a bunch of wonderful, amazing, like beautiful, kind-hearted volunteer employees that just kind of dedicate themselves to bringing about engagement in all of these local communities that we have across the globe and in our local offices. Um I I always tell people I don't technically technically use this term, so I hope it's okay, but I'm like a connection core. Like I love connecting with people. Like I love connecting with people. But as I got into this role, it was just kind of like this is my thing.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Yeah. You are a connector for sure. I absolutely see that um in you. Um, so how long have you been in working in a corporation then? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Uh probably 30 plus years.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

30 years experience in corporate America.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

That's no joke. Nothing to sneeze at. And um okay. So let me ask you this. When someone looks at your, you know, 30-year career journey, what do they not see?

SPEAKER_01 5:43

I think what people would see was kind of more of a confident, strong, you know, person. But I think what they didn't see was more of just there was always this second guessing and questioning myself and am I making the right decisions? Am I doing the right thing? Am I am I able to lead? Should I, you know, so I think that's probably the parts that they didn't see that I was able to kind of mask pretty well.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

On the outside, people would see a confident, capable, strong woman, but on the inside, you're

Starting over and battling imposter syndrome

SPEAKER_00 6:16

second-guessing.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Yeah. Especially coming into Equinex and doing something completely different than what I had been doing before, where I was very much in the background and had all of a sudden being kind of thrust into like, you have to, you have to get on these calls and you have to facilitate them and you've got to talk to all these people. And some of those people being, you know, uh upper leadership and and all of that, and just being like, what? Uh and having that imposter syndrome like badly at times. I I feel like I've been able to come into come into my own just because of the knowledge base. I've got more knowledge now and I knew more people, but in the beginning, I mean, it was scary, very scary.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

I get it, especially after coming from an organization where you were there for 17 years and surely had like this wealth of experience as far as like how to do your job, how the company and business work, how you know, all of that. And so you're learning like net new everything. Yeah, 100%.

Belonging, great managers, and knowing when it's time to leave

SPEAKER_00 7:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Uh can you tell me about a time at work where you felt like you truly belonged, or a time when you realized that you did not?

SPEAKER_01 7:33

So maybe going back to the beginning, just felt like, oh my gosh, this is almost like a family, and feeling like, you know, uh people are just so friendly and helpful. And uh again, my manager who hired me was amazing. I was a single mom at that time, dealing with a lot of personal things on that front. So he just got it. He understood it. Yeah. Um, same company towards the end of my my career there, I would say it felt very much like things had evolved and changed so much, but not necessarily for the better. There was not a lot of development. Uh, the the manager that I ended with, I might have met with her twice in like a two-year span of time. Um, and I was in the same role for 17 years. So being in the same yeah, being in the same role, trying to find other roles to move into, but constantly being told, hey, you don't really have the skills for that. But yet no one ever saying, Hey, let me help you with that. So it was kind of like I got stuck. So I said, This is not where I need to be. So totally did not feel like I belonged anymore.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

And it was time for me to go. So it sounds like like you really enjoyed it at the beginning because you had a great manager who understood what you were navigating both inside and outside of work. And then towards the end, you had a manager that was essentially non-existent and felt zero support in the career development. Yeah. Very much so. Yeah. So tell me about the best or worst career advice you've ever received and how it's shaped

The best career advice she's ever received

SPEAKER_00 9:12

you.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Best advice I would say was yeah, kind of I may not have the title of being a leader, but when you have to get people that don't work for you to do what you need them to do, you very much have to kind of lead and and again build relationships with people so they learn how to trust you. Uh, they listen and they get what you need them to do done quickly, you know. Um I I may not have really like a worst piece of advice, but maybe I have a second piece of good advice. And that was kind of like, you gotta ask for what you want. Yes. People won't know unless you say, Hey, I'd like that role. Can you consider me or I'd like to go out for it? What do I need to know? That was something that I I never really thought of until someone said it. And it was like, oh, well, you know what, you're right. You need to speak up and open your mouth and say, Hey, I want that.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Learn how to to to lead without authority by building trust. And then I heard two, ask for what you want. Yep. Okay, well, and you mentioned uh this a little bit earlier. You talked about what, you know, when people look at your career, they may not see the self-doubt, the inner critic at play in your head. Can you can you tell me about a time throughout your career when you noticed your inner critic get loud?

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Honestly, it was super loud when I started working at iPhone X. Oh my gosh. It was so loud. It was like, girl, I don't know what you what you think you're doing. You have no idea what you're doing. And I literally had to every single day, and I'm you and I mean this literally, write down you got this, you can do this. You are enough, you are capable. I mean, just literally, so I could get those negative thoughts out of my head because it was a struggle. I think some of it was things that I really had not had to do before. So, for example, creating PowerPoints on my own. I don't know why. It just caused me to like panic. Like, am I doing this the right way? And I really wanted to do a good job. And I think maybe that's a little bit of it too, kind of that perfectionism, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

I just got in my head. Yeah. I mean, stepping into something new, right? What you don't know, that you've don't have the experience in, is uh like I find often when my inner critic is like chirping at me, and it shows up when you care. Like this is important to me, you know? When your inner critic

How Angie talks herself through self-doubt

SPEAKER_00 12:02

is loud, like how do you move forward?

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Honestly, it's like having conversations with myself. I literally will have like a conversation with myself out loud. Like what okay, stop, slow down, calm down when there's too much noise going on, and I don't necessarily need noise, like physical noise, but just noise inside your head, your emotions. You have to just kind of stop yourself and like literally talk yourself through it. And it literally is like and again, sorry listeners, but I will tell myself, bitch, you need to calm down. Okay. Yes. You literally need to take it easy and slow down because you are like all over the place. Um and and it and it honestly it really does kind of help me to like kind of ground myself and and refocus. Sometimes uh there's so much going on that I end up having to make lists, check them off, post-its all over the place and have things all over,

Permission to make mistakes

SPEAKER_01 13:04

even with affirmations, post-its everywhere. And one other thing that I will say is that I have to tell myself that it's okay to mess up. Yes. It's okay to be real and to be human and to to mess up every once in a while. Everyone does. Yeah. We're not, I mean, there's no such thing as perfection.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

I love yeah, clear the noise, talk to myself, calm myself down, the affirmations, and I love the piece of giving yourself permission to make a mistake. I think that's brilliant. Yeah. Okay. And and if you were starting your career today, what, if anything, would you do differently?

SPEAKER_01 13:53

Well, I would have gone to college a lot sooner. Because I think maybe in hindsight, right, you think maybe I would have been able to do some of this work a lot sooner. Um, because I feel like it's what I'm most passionate about, being able to connect with people and and and when we talk about belonging and and inclusivity and all those things. Or I would have tried to learn a lot sooner how to be a little more assertive, uh, and kind of be a little more focused on a career rather than other personal things that were going on in the background. I think it would have saved me a lot of headache and a lot of heartache. But, you know, we live and we learn, right? A lot of that, I think it's just made me who I am today.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

So you would go to school earlier because maybe you'd would have discovered your passion sooner and focus more on your career earlier.

One final takeaway

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Well, and thank you so so much for joining me on court side conversations. One thing I'm taking away from this conversation is the importance of self-affirmation. And I love what you said about give yourself permission to make a mistake. I think that is brilliant. So I'm gonna take that with me. Well, and so listeners, thank you so much for joining Angie and I, courtside. If any of what Angie said resonated with you, please do share this podcast with a woman that you love. And if we are not connected on LinkedIn, please come find me. I'd love to say hi. I am always listening. And until next time, I'll see you courtside. Thank you. Cheers and