S1 Ep1: She Died at 5 - And Came Back Different / Susan Grau

When Susan Grau died at the age of five, she was met by a band of angels who guided her on an astonishing tour of the afterlife — before ultimately returning her to her earthly body. Ever since then, Susan has had the extraordinary ability to see the spirits and other non-physical beings who are present in our world. 

 In the powerful premiere episode of our new podcast, Susan recounts her breathtaking journey to the other side, and the hard-won wisdom that emerged from a life marked by profound challenges, loss, and resilience. 

 Join us for this compelling, uplifting story. 

 https://susangrau.com/

Theme Music: “And It Goes Like This” – Shadow Kitten

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:05

Not mean. Just just not um you guys just had a huge orb go past you, you're gonna see on the tape. Literally came from David, came from David and just went across the screen. Alright, so if you're watching the video, you can actually see the orbs go by. Came from David and just went across the screen. She's moving through here. I just want to tell you that. She's moving through here. You're the orbit twice. Now I've seen her twice.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

The orb is is one of the grandmothers, you think?

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Oh, I know it is.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

I know it is. Because we're talking to them.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Our world is magnificent. Filled with life in every imaginable form. But what if at the root of all these diverse forms there was one energy, one conscious energy that created everything we know by becoming everything we know, including you. Come with us as we peek behind the curtain of what we call reality and explore the limitless wonders of consciousness. In the realization lab. In the flesh. Yep, there he is. And David, this is this is exciting. We're we're launching a new podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

This is super exciting. We should we should launch a new podcast every day.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yeah, I well, I'm not sure we can do that. But do you know the uh concept of the podcast?

SPEAKER_00 1:52

I know the concept of the podcast because you have told me the concept of the podcast. So what's the concept? All right, the concept is we are going to be exploring all things spiritual that are cool and fun and kind of interesting to dive into and exploring them.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Yeah, the idea is that the idea is that we're gonna create a virtual laboratory to not just explore, but also experiment with all the most profound and powerful and just plain fun stuff in the spiritual world. So exactly what I said. More or less, but I think I like the way I said it better.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

That's how it works around here.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

We're gonna have guests who have incredible stories, we're gonna have past life regressions and people channeling spirits from the other side and extra-dimensional beings and crazy people are gonna be joining us. Yeah. Well, see, that's the beauty of having you here. Because for the episodes where we're interviewing people, you'll be uh with us and um you and I have different perspectives. Your background is a little bit more in the the scientific world.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Yeah, I would say true or or real.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Well, demonstrable. And and I'm someone who has spent the past 30 years pursuing. Well, or pursuing spirituality, and and I'm someone who's basically all in on the spiritual world. You are definitely all in. Yeah. So you'll be there to keep it real and keep us grounded to a certain extent, but we'll mostly ignore you. Um all right. So our first guest for the first episode is a fantastic guest. I'm so excited that you I can see that you're very excited. Yeah. Her her name is Susan Gra. And and Susan, I'm I'm so happy to have you here on the show.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Well, I'm really happy to be here. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Tell us if you would just who are you? What do you do?

SPEAKER_03 3:40

Well, I'm Susan Gra.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

So for 100%.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Yeah. And I am a uh I'm an intuitive medium, I'm an author, I'm a speaker, I'm a counselor, uh, addiction and grief counselor. Um, and I do hospice work and just different different modal different things that I do to help others. That's that's my goal.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

And you have special skills to do that in a way that's very powerful and unique, which we'll get into. I also want to say though, you are also a wonderful author. Um I have read your book, and I was just telling David, it's as good a spiritual book as I've ever read.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Thank you. I didn't plan on being a writer, quite honestly, so this means a lot to me.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

You've had a very difficult life, a lot of challenges in your life, and you talk about particularly this episode in the beginning of your life, which I want to sort of walk through because I think it's full of so much wisdom. So tell me where as a child you were growing up in what part of the country?

SPEAKER_03 4:42

La Puente, California.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Right. And uh your mother had a unique skill, correct?

SPEAKER_03 4:51

My mother and my sister and my brother.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

And you, of course, had it as well. What is this skill?

SPEAKER_03 4:57

Well, I remember being itzyvitsy. I mean, it's the only thing I remember about being three years old. Um, and I remember seeing animals float when they would cross. And it was natural to me and normal.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

So when you say animals, you would see animals that would die, and then you would see the spirit of the animal cross over, like leave the body of the animal.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Yes. I still do.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

You still do. And you're three years old at the time, and you just think that's the most normal thing in the world.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

Yeah, I've never thought anything. I I I just was. I didn't think even. It just was. It was interesting because I didn't see to my memory, I didn't see human uh type spirit. Right. I just saw the animals, but then I had no one that crossed, so it wasn't something I would normally see anyway.

SPEAKER_04 5:47

Right.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

But at roughly almost five years old, I was a couple months away from five, I got locked in an unplugged freezer in a garage.

unknown 5:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:58

Well, because it's my story, it's my normal, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Yeah, so I got locked in a freezer.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

But to give a little context to it, you're you're a five-year-old kid, you're playing with a group of kids about your age or so, and to play a little trick on you, kind of, they locked you in the freezer, basically, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Well, I don't think it was a trick necessarily. They were kind of meme boys, and they had done other things to me. But um, they said if I wanted to keep playing, that I had to climb up and get popsicles. Now, people always say to me, Well, if you're, you know, why would you climb up in an unplugged freezer? Well, I didn't know it was unplugged. And I'm reaching up and they closed the freezer door, and I thought, oh, surely this is just, you know, I'm part of a game right now. We're playing a game. And then I heard the garage door thud. And I recognized instantly it was so organic and so absolute that I was in big trouble and I wasn't going to survive.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

So the freezer door behind you, they've closed it and it had locked, and you that you were sort of facing your back to the door, and you you couldn't, there was no way, I'm sure you tried to push your way out, right?

SPEAKER_03 7:08

Oh, I tried to wiggle and turn and everything, but I was between sh uh shelves and the door.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

And also, doors didn't open then. That's how a lot of children passed away, is the doors wouldn't open. Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

They had like latches from the inside.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

That's horrifying.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Yeah.

unknown 7:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

It was one of the first freezers upright. So I was standing upright. Uh, but I couldn't move. I couldn't wiggle, I couldn't move, I couldn't flip myself, I couldn't do anything.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Were you in a panic? I mean, I would have been in an absolute panic.

SPEAKER_03 7:43

Uh at first I wasn't panicked, you know, because I thought they were gonna open it, but when I heard the thud of the garage door, absolutely, 100%, it was automatic panic. And I remember this feeling of I'm going to die, but I didn't know what that meant. I just knew that I was no longer going to exist, something really bad was happening. And I went into panic mode and started screaming at the top of my lungs. And I'm talking about the kind of scream. My mother heard the scream. She thought it was cats.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

So your mother is in the house somewhere, like doing housework or something like that, and she thought it was just cats in the garage.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

Yeah, and because we had lots of cats, and they were when they're in heat, they make a very high-pitched sound. That's the sound of terror in a in a human. It's that very high-pitched scream. But she said that she heard it and um she ignored it because she thought it was the cats, and I kept screaming.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

And then what happened?

SPEAKER_03 8:41

I remember seeing three lights, and they they looked like orbs now, looking back. So I can only explain this to you as an adult. I can't give you the words of a child. Um, I once in a while you'll hear the child in me when I'm talking about it because I can, but most of this is coming from now and understanding as an adult woman.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

Right.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

But um I started screaming at the top of my lungs, and these three beautiful lights came in. I call them my angels.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Into the freezer, these lights came?

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Yeah, and so the freezer wasn't dark anymore. And they said, Stop screaming, Susie. And I didn't. I did first of all, I didn't know who they were and why they were saying it. And secondly, it's like you I mean, I'm in I'm in panic mode. I'm not gonna just stop. And then I heard one very strong voice say to me, Susie, almost like my mom would, stop screaming. We're going to get your mommy. And I felt the energy of what you would feel like, but first.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

So it was like, we're gonna get your mom, but first we want to show you some things. Is that what the the feeling was?

SPEAKER_03 9:52

Yeah, we're gonna get your mommy, and it felt like but first, but they didn't say it, but it felt that way, like we're not getting her right now, basically. That's how it felt.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, get her right now. Yeah, little less.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Yeah, yeah. But you know, this thing came over me, this sense of calm that I can't describe. It was like when you sit into a warm bath of water and you had a long day, and you've been frantic or have anxiety, and you slide into that, or a nice heated bed in the cold winter. That's what it felt like to me when the lights came. I see, yeah. And the next thing I knew, I was at the bottom of a stairway, and it was all cracked and old.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

Right.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

And there was a room above me, and it had these beautiful light pillars, and I don't know how to describe that any other way. They weren't solid, they were light pillars. And I knew I had to get up there, and I knew there was something in the middle of that room.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

The room at the top of the stairs.

SPEAKER_03 10:52

Yes. And so I thought it, and I was there. Just at the top, and I was on the edge of this beautiful, what I called the well.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

And you look into this well, and what do you see?

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Oh, well, I was standing on the edge, and first I want to say I wasn't afraid. It was infinite and dark, and I wasn't afraid. That to me is such a an amazing thought that you know uh I'm a little girl on the edge of a deep hole, and I'm not afraid.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

And was the was the well at at foot level, or was there sort of a wall and you had to look over the wall?

SPEAKER_03 11:26

It was at foot level.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

Foot level, okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

It w it went into the ground.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Extra scary.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Yeah, extra scary.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Yeah, and I call that a bottomless pit, but you've called it a well.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Yeah, I called it a well. I mean, I I didn't even think bottomless pit. I wasn't afraid. And I was looking into this beautiful space that was like space. It was pitch black. And I remember seeing words coming up, and and I felt like I knew what prayers were at that age because I was Catholic, and it felt like prayers. And I was hearing people say, you know, my mommy has cancer, God, please don't let her die. Or I'm turning 16 and I want a car, and my dad says no, or my mom says no, and I really want it, God, please make them get me a car, and just all these different thoughts.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

But it was one consciousness. It all moved like DNA into one consciousness. And I wanted to know, do you answer all those? Like, do you answer? Because I knew what prayers were.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

And so you turn to the angels and you say, Are you going to answer these or not? I did.

SPEAKER_03 12:32

I said, Do you answer all these? Um typical precocious five-year-old, you know, almost five. Um, they said, No, Susie. Sometimes what people desire the most is not good for them.

SPEAKER_06 12:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

And I didn't like that because my mom would say, just because you want it doesn't mean it's good for you.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

But there was something in me that understood something.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

The angels that were with you had a name for this room, correct?

SPEAKER_03 12:59

The room of hearts' desires.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Yeah. So all those prayers were the heart's desires of of of all these beings all over all over creation. And why do you think they wanted to show you this?

SPEAKER_03 13:11

Well, I I I don't know, but I I was born with the ability to speak to spirits or see spirits and hear spirits, and I think that I was meant to do this work, and I really believe that I saw all this, and it was the opportunity for them to expand me and my consciousness so that I could do this work well.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Okay, so uh you've been in this room of heart's desires, and that's not the end of this journey into this other realm that you've you've wandered into, or you've been guided into.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

Uh I looked I looked ahead of me and I saw what I called the yellow brick road.

SPEAKER_05 13:52

Right.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

And it was like it was just there.

SPEAKER_05 13:55

Right.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

There were pyramids in the front of the road, and I was watching humans, and they were paving, they were going to the bottom of this pyramid and pulling from the bottom, and I'd watch the pyramid move, like out of balance.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Right, because they're taking out the foundation.

SPEAKER_03 14:12

Yeah, and I thought, is that gonna fall? You know, that's what went through my head. Right. Um, but but and I watched them start paving their path, and then they I saw a couple of them drop to their knees and praying and saying, For the love of God, please help me. Nothing's going my way, nothing's working out, you know, and they were having this like breakdown, and I felt really sad for them. That was the one time I had like an intensive feeling, right? And then I watched the angels come in, or these entities, guides, angels, come in and they started removing the pavers and putting them back. And I watched them go to the top and pull from the top and start paving the path. And the pure the pavers were recreating themselves.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Every time they would take one off, another one would appear. And so there was an infinite supply of pavers.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

I asked them, What are you doing? And they said, We are the pavers, you are not. All you have to do is walk it. And I said, How do you know if you're walking it right? And they said, We bless and block everything, Susie. Make no mistake, you will get during your life journey, you can get through a block battered and bruised at best, or you can shift. And when you shift, if you still see a block or a wall, shift again. And if you see it again, shift again. Until you see us paving your path, what you run from chases you, and what you try to control controls you. So just walk the path and we'll be there helping you.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

You've you've memorized that moment.

SPEAKER_03 15:43

I mean, I didn't memorize it, it stayed. I I stayed my whole life.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Okay, so hold on. So these let's call them human souls were there and they were trying to build it the path for themselves of their own effort entirely. And they were pulling out pavers from this pyramid and putting everything out of balance and the path that they were creating wasn't working, and then and they were filled with despair. And that the lesson that these guides showed you was that it's not for us to build our paths, at least not alone, that they are the pavers, that they can lay the path, and it's really our responsibility to walk this path that has been created for us. And then you asked, as a little uh precocious kid, you asked, well, how do I know if I'm even on the path? You know, because we all doubt that, you know, that's pretty wise for a five-year-old, because you know I'm I think they put those questions on. Um I do. But the response was when you're going the wrong way, we give you blocks. And when you're going the right way, we send you love. What was the other blessing?

SPEAKER_03 17:00

They bless and block.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

We bless it.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

We know.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Yeah. We just have to listen to our own inner voice and the circumstances around it.

SPEAKER_03 17:07

Yeah. When they talk about trying to control something, think about the things that we try to control, how we can't let go of it. We want it so bad that we're trying to control everything about it and we're just focused on it. It controls us. Yeah, it controls our thinking, our actions, our our behaviors, our way we treat people. It controls us. And everything I've ever run from has come in front of me again because it's a lesson. So it's chasing me.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

So when they said that later on in life, I totally understood what they meant.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

They said, what you run from chases you, and what you try to control controls you.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Just walk the path.

unknown 17:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

And I have never done it. I want to say that I've tried to control everything in my life. Until I got older. When I got older, something changed in me, and I understood. You know, I had to go through so much trauma to understand what they meant. But I always thought you're supposed to push your way through, you're supposed to make it happen. That's how you manifest. No, manifesting is asking them, and they hear you the first time. And they forget that.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

And they said in that in that speech you just related to us, they said you can push your way through it. You can get to the other side, but you'll end up battered and bruised.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

At best.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yeah, at best. At best.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

And when they said that, I I I didn't even know what they meant.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Oh, I do.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

It's very hard to give up control and trust that things are going to work out when you let go.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Right. And the thing is, it's not about not doing the footwork. They talked about doing the footwork. You walk the path. You have to do the footwork, but the outcome is in their hands.

unknown 18:47

Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

And if you ever notice the outcome of anything when it doesn't go our way, or when it does go our way, you know, we like to take, you know, ownership or blame somebody else when it doesn't go our way, but in truth it wasn't meant for us.

SPEAKER_04 18:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

And I always find that later throughout my journey, even in my infertilities and adoptions and everything I've been through, I always knew somewhere that when it worked out, oh, now I understand why that didn't work out.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah. Always you look back and you go, thank God I didn't get that job, because I wouldn't have gotten this opportunity in my life, which is, you know, I think we've all had that experience. I certainly know I have too.

SPEAKER_04 19:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

I also think it's so I mean there's two lessons now in the in the in the room of hearts desires, you were told, no, we don't answer every prayer because sometimes things aren't in a person's best interest. And then you're seeing them build these paths and they're saying, Don't build the path on your own completely. Let us build it and let us help you down that path. They they relate the two messages.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Okay, from there, they then lead you into uh yet another area in the world beyond the veil. Um tell us now where you go from here.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

So my next um little venture was um it was like a flash, that's what it felt like. If I but I didn't see light flash, it was just a flash of a of a m nanosecond. And I was in this room and I saw this little girl with a family, and this little girl was saying, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that, and the whole family was going, Yeah, and we'll be there to help you do this, and we'll be there to help you do that, and we're all in it together, you know, and they were a soul family, and I could feel that they loved each other, so that's why I say they were a soul family. And the the guides were there, right? And I clearly knew they were guides, I don't know how, but I know. And they said, Oh no, no, no, that's way too much to take on.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

They say this to the little girl. She's saying, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. And there are these other souls around her in her soul group saying, Oh, we're gonna be here to help you, and we'll play all these roles and sort of be there to support. And the guide is saying to the little girl, You slow down. This is a little bit more than you can handle.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

And she was like, I can do it, I know I can. I can do it. I want my soul to grow and grow and grow and expand, and she's going on and on. And they said, Well, you do have free will. And boom, they were gone. And I said, Where did they go? And uh first of all, I did ask, Where am I?

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

And they said, You're in the room of knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

And what they were discussing was this soul, this young girl, represented as a young girl in this moment, um, was about to incarnate and was planning out her her life's journey, correct?

SPEAKER_03 21:46

I I asked them, where did they go? And they said they went to their next incarnation. Now, let me tell you, I had no idea what they meant, no clue. I was about ten years old when someone said, Do you believe in reincarnation? Like I guess their parents talked about it. I don't know. And I said, Oh my God, there's that word. And I knew exactly what it meant.

SPEAKER_04 22:07

That's fascinating.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Um, but they they said that and so they just said they were going to their next incarnation, and I just accepted that. It was I accepted everything. It wasn't like I was fighting anything or that it was foreign to me. I just didn't completely understand everything. I was still me.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Okay, so you're in the room of knowledge and you realize that we have these things called soul contract, where where we make decisions and arrangements with others and and a purpose in life. And in a way, this all ties in to that path you were seeing and and the the messages of the other two rooms.

SPEAKER_03 22:45

Because I don't thought about that, but it did.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Yeah, right, because it's saying that there is a path for you to walk on, and really that path is the decisions, the contracts, the the the life you arranged for yourself is the path, is it not?

SPEAKER_03 23:03

Yes. And later on when I recognized what they were saying, it made total sense to me.

SPEAKER_06 23:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

Like, you know, wow, we're we're actually planning it. And they explained free will to me because this is what I saw. Right. The little girl, they literally looked at her and said, Well, you do have free will. Right? And they were gone. So I understood at that moment, you know, I said, What does all this mean basically? I didn't say those words, but I'm asking them. And they said, free will looks like this. If your soul wants to resonate in the understanding of something, you will go through it. How you go through it is free will. So, for an instance, uh, and uh this is me giving you this, not them. Um, if you're if your soul wants to resonate the understanding of marriage, you will be married. That is the contract, right? Who you marry, how long you're married, the kind of marriage you have, etc. etc., is free will for your soul to grow and expand. Now, people ask me all the time, why does your soul need to grow if it's perfect? Because it is. It is your greatest healer. It is it is the vine to the divine, it's your connection, and it heals you and it helps you. The reason it needs to grow is because it's infinite, and anything that is infinite grows. It goes on and on and on. It continues, it's a continuum. So that's why our soul comes here to grow.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

And the example of free will that you were seeing in that moment with that little girl was the the guys were sort of saying this might be a little bit much to take on, and she had the free will as an independent soul to say, no, I can do it, I want to do it, and and they they kind of had to allow her because that's was her will, correct?

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Yes. That's exactly right. I mean, you think about how many doors we have in options. You think about it. You know, if there's three doors there and you walk in one and and you're gonna get married to a narcissist and you know he's a narcissist, but you're afraid to be alone, you marry the narcissist, that's one path, or you could walk out the door and you could go in the next door and go, I'm not marrying that guy, I'm gonna meet somebody better, or that girl. You know what so we have these choices and they're important choices, and they give us choice.

unknown 25:12

Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

And you weren't speaking necessarily about David's wife in that instance, right? It wasn't it wasn't it wasn't specifically about her.

SPEAKER_04 25:19

No.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Okay, so after you've been in this room of knowledge, there's one final stop in this journey that you take as a six-year-old, and they take you to where's next?

SPEAKER_03 25:32

Well, I flashed into um this beautiful place where animals were.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Right.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

And they were everywhere, every kind of animal you can think of.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

A big open field, sort of, I think, is how you describe it.

SPEAKER_03 25:46

Well, it started out kind of in a room, but yes, it opened into this field. And I'm sitting in this field and it's just beautiful, and I'm watching all these animals, and all these, you know, they're playing and they're young and they're having fun and they're just joyful. They're beautiful souls, beautiful souls, and they're sent to help us heal and to love us unconditionally, because we don't understand unconditional love, but animals do, so they teach us something, don't they? So they are teachers to us and of unconditional love. Yes, yes. So, anyway, I was watching them and I um I felt this energy on my left side, and it was a m it was a mountain, and it was the energy on a mountain, and it was I knew it was something really important. Now looking back, I know it was source. And I wanted so bad to get up there. I wanted so bad to be on the top of that mountain. Like I could feel it. Uh I needed to be there, but I couldn't. I couldn't climb it.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

You're you're in this field, and uh this field is you refer to it in the book as the waiting station. So this is sort of a place where where you go because you're about to you're transitioning back into your human life, and that's a big transition, and um, and there's this place that sort of prepares you, and the animals are part of that preparation. And while you're waiting, you sense this energy to the side and you look up and there's a mountain there, and then at the top of this mountain is this energy or light, or what was it?

SPEAKER_03 27:21

It was source.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

I don't know how to say it any other way. It was everything, it was everything. Um and I I could feel the love coming from it, and I wanted to be in the presence of its love, like the animals were.

SPEAKER_06 27:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

And I I couldn't get to it, so it came to me. And the source still stayed up on the mountain, but this beam. This is why I don't talk about this on podcasts. This beam of light came at me right into my soul.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

A beam of light came into your soul, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

And I was everything, and I was nothing. Nothing. I was perfect in every way. And I think I've spent my life looking for that love. That's the love. It's everything. You are everything to them, and you are nothing because you just are, and you're perfect to them no matter what you do to them, you're perfect. Um sorry. And I never talked about this for years, and then I decided that it was time, and it's been really um emotionally hard.

SPEAKER_05 28:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:37

Because you want to be back in that love.

SPEAKER_05 28:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:41

Um, and then I I looked to my right, and there was like this cobblestone effervescent cottage. And this beautiful being of Angel Bean, I call it my light angel, my light being, came out towards me and she was floating. And all I could think of, just I was coming back into my humanness, I think. I could all I could think of was I want to float, I hope I get to float. And I thought that was the coolest thing in the world that she was floating, and she came to me and she said, It's time to go, Susie. And I I just flashed and I was on the edge of this uh river, water. I don't, you know, it was water, right? And um, she was telling me that I'm gonna come back and I'm gonna have some difficulties and that I'm gonna I'm gonna persevere and that I'm gonna help people. And um with my my story that they've given me, and with my life journey, I was gonna be helping people. Yeah, and I didn't didn't feel resistant to go, but I also didn't really want to have a hardship. Like I didn't really like what what's that mean? Yeah, but I you know things are gonna be a little difficult. And then she said, but it's time for you to go see your mommy, and she explained to me that we go through the water, and I never connected those dots till someone said to me, Well, we're born in the womb of water, and I'm like, Oh my god, never connected.

SPEAKER_05 30:10

Right.

SPEAKER_03 30:11

And I was in the water, and my mom said she kept hearing the whole time, your baby's in the freezer, your baby's in the freezer. She heard it three times and finally she listened, and she ran out, she saw the garage door closed, and we didn't have garage door openers at the time. She's like, Susie can't open that.

SPEAKER_05 30:29

Right.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

So she was gonna turn around, and something told her not to. And she opened up the garage door and she went over to the freezer and she opened it, and she spun me around and she said I was ashen and I dropped basically. Right. Um, but she in her, into her.

SPEAKER_05 30:45

Right.

SPEAKER_03 30:45

And she said that I was completely ashen, my fingertips were blue, and um she said that I wasn't breathing, and she there were no cell phones, so she couldn't carry me to get a phone. She just needed to get to a phone. She was screaming for someone, and she was trying to get to a phone, and she dropped me and I fell, and I hit my chin on the pavement of the garage, and I I still have the scar actually. I cracked my chin open and I took a breath.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

It woke you up.

SPEAKER_03 31:16

Yeah, it made it made me take a breath. And then next thing I know, when I opened my eyes, I could see spirits everywhere. They were everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

So that so this is a change. So prior to this experience, you you saw some souls leave animals, and you're not sure you'd ever seen any human spirits, but now you've come back from this experience and you describe what it's like.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

Um, I could see, hear, feel, sense, know that there was people talking, there were people talking to me, and I didn't know who they were. I knew they were from the spirit world, but I didn't know who they were, so it scared me.

unknown 31:55

Right.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

I knew they weren't human, let me say that. And I thought they were the boogeyman or something, you know, because we always grow up learning about the boogeyman.

SPEAKER_04 32:02

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

And I was seeing and s hearing things, and um I saw them looking in the windows at me, and I covered my head and said, Go away, go away, go away. And I did that my whole life.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

Right. And do you walk around seeing spirits still?

SPEAKER_03 32:15

Like just I can if I want to.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Oh, but you can turn it off.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Yeah. So what happens is um well, James von Pra is the actually the person who taught me how to turn it up and down. I went to one of his classes and he walked up right up to me and he said, You've had a near-death experience, you have spirits all around you. You need to get real about this because you need to help people, and you know you need to learn how to turn this on and off because it's all over you. And I just sat there stunned, I didn't say a word. I was like, How does he know this?

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:42

Um, but I ended up admitting it to him, and he taught me how to turn it down like a radio dial, turning it up and down.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

Wow. Okay, so you had this experience as a child, and it changed your world, and suddenly your your psychic abilities, let's call them, have so just expanded. And that ultimately became the skills that you then went on to use to help so many people in the world and write this amazing book and connect with people.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Yeah, I think I was always a healer and I always wanted to help people. Um, but I think that experience advanced it.

SPEAKER_05 33:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

You know, where it wasn't just wanting to anymore, it was I was compelled.

SPEAKER_05 33:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

And I didn't want to write a book, by the way. I didn't think I was a writer. I did not want to write a book. I had no clue I was going to write a book.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

Well, you've written a brilliant book. It's an amazing book, so you are a writer. Um But there have been a couple other moments in your life where you've then revisited that experience that you had as a six-year-old, and you talked a little bit about um your brother when he passed.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

So when my brother died, I didn't know he died. Um, he uh died by suicide on my birthday.

SPEAKER_06 33:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

And I remember um I I was I I was downstairs walking around and I heard Suzanne, because my brother used to do that to me, and I just stopped doing that. And I knew something, but I didn't know what I knew, and I ran upstairs and I covered my head. And my brother came to me at the side of my bed, and um my brother was schizophrenic, and so I got in fear and I thought he was gonna hurt me, which he would never, but I I don't know what happened, but it was so weird to see him there, and I said, Go away, go away, go away. And he went away. And then the next night he was at the end, you know, like he kept coming, and so just to fast forward a little bit. By the third night, I was like, What's happening here? And he was standing at the end of my bed, and he said, Um, I want to show you something. And I literally came out of my I was wide awake, and I literally came out of my body, and I could feel my soul being pulled, and I landed on the yellow brick road with my brother. And he told he showed me, like, we went to a garage and he showed me my parents arguing over him, and then he showed me some of his life journey, and he said, I never have to feel that way again. And I thought, that's odd, you know, like what's going on? I didn't know he died. Like, I didn't know. I should have, but I didn't. It's my brother, you know.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

Right.

SPEAKER_03 35:19

And then um then I was on the yellow brick road, and and he he was telling me, you know, you're gonna wake up tomorrow morning. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 35:31

Yeah, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

And you're gonna hear I died. And it's not your fault. And I said, What are you talking about? What are you talking about? And he said, I just want you to remember this. I know it's on your birthday that I left, and you're gonna find that out. It was three days after my birthday, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

Right, now at this point was, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:53

Yeah. And he said, But um, I want you to know that it's not your fault. Because I had gone through something where I had to leave him behind for a little while till I could find a home for him, and because he lived with me, so I would have taken responsibility. Of course I did anyway, but um and then he said, I gotta go. And I said, Wait, did you have you met God? And he goes, I have to leave now. And he said, But I'll never be gone, I'll always be there, and I will help you always on your journey. And he said, And I will help you with your gift. You'll help people with your gift, and I will help you help them. And I said, Terry, don't go. And he turned around and I just saw this bright, bright, bright light like I cannot describe. And he started walking away. And I thought it was because I was being punished for asking him if he saw God. But that wasn't what it was. And the next thing I know, I'm like, pop, back in my body, and I'm still awake. And I look over at my husband and I shake him awake and I go, I can go to sleep now. And I've done that so many times he was like, Okay, go to sleep. Because I'm always awake, I'm always awake when I get visitors. So he's like, go to sleep. And um, and I went to sleep, and the next morning I got a call that my brother had died, and he was uh they found him, it had been at least three days, they said. Yeah, and that was my verification. But to see that again, to see that beauty again, um the angels were standing on the path, and the words and the music were coming out of their mouths at the same time. I don't even know if they were mouths. Yeah, I just know out of them the words and the music were coming out at the same time, and I understood that they created music for us to have peace and calm, that music elicits feelings and emotions, and it helps you move through your emotions and your love.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Right. And there was also a time when you were put into a very deep trance, uh, a very deep hypnotic state where you again journeyed to the other side?

SPEAKER_03 38:00

So, yeah, the weird part about that is I've had my brain tested and they say I don't trance. Right. So to trance was really odd for me. And I was working for hospice and a psychiatrist came in, phenomenal psychiatrist, came in to put everyone into a trance uh to um hypnosis to teach them what it's like to find out you're going to cross. Right. Like what happens to the each individual. So they start out very basic. Um, you know, you're you you go to the doctor, you find out you're sick, but you don't know how sick, and then you go to the doctor and you find out you're sick and you're dying, and then you, you know, end the pro the whole process. And at the very end, he takes you through letting go. So I'm in this deep trance. I'm there, I'm like letting go, right? And it's like let go of the car. Let go of what's the next three things you want to let go of? You know, my car is easy, my house is easy, etc. But then it got to my family. And he and he said three more things, and then one thing, and then one thing. And I got to my children, and I broke down because I knew I was letting go. I that this was it. I I was gone. I was in another place at another time, and I felt these, I was crying and sobbing, and I was saying, please, please don't make me say goodbye to my babies, please. And it was so intense and so real.

SPEAKER_06 39:28

Right.

SPEAKER_03 39:29

And I feel these arms come around me like the most peaceful, loving, that same spirit that I saw on the mountain.

unknown 39:39

Right.

SPEAKER_03 39:39

A wrap around me, and and they said to me, You will never leave them any more than I ever left you. Oh. And I was like, boom, back in my body. And they had called an ambulance because they said my pulse had risen and they couldn't get me out, and my blood pressure was dropping really low. I was dying.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Wait, so in the in the real physical world, they're calling ambulances and they're worried that you're dying because they can't revive you from this trance that this very talented psychiatrist has put you in. So in the real world, there's crisis going on, and you're having a conversation with Source Energy, who is wrapping his or her arms around you.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

It was so powerful. It was so it was more real than my NDE. It was so powerful. Wow. And I woke up and I and I was fine. And I I looked around the room and I am drenched in tears, drenched, like the whole front of me. And I look around and everyone's sitting there like this. Like, what the hell's wrong with this woman? Is she crazy? What happened to me is I was taken back out and put back there. Like I I was able to go there on a on a in a in a hypnotic state.

SPEAKER_06 41:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

And it was so unbelievable. And so at that moment I knew, you know, like beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they never leave us.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

That all happened sort of in the process of letting go of these beloved beings, your children, and having, you know, you're having to let go of them. But what was the lesson that sort of came with that with regard to all the people in our world that we love?

SPEAKER_03 41:24

That we never leave them. We're always with them, and and we don't have to be afraid to die because we stay. And that they are they will always be with us. They will never be without us. That was the lesson. And I was going to be working with death, so they wanted me to re-experience. That's what I believe.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

And this is the essence of your work. People who are grieving, who've lost someone, you you're able to give them this direct experience that, well, yes, the person isn't physically here, but you haven't lost them.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

My goal is for people to understand that their loved ones are still there, they're still breathing and alive, we're just birthed into a different segment of our journey, of our soul's journey. We are not gone. And if I can get that across, they it's like having therapy for a year. One session can be like that if they just allow it, if they just allow.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

And also when you when you are in that with the room, let me see, the the room of knowledge. When you're in the room of knowledge, you were seeing the soul group who are all coordinating this life together and they're all going to play different roles in this life. Is it your understanding then that you know when we lose a loved one, that person is is very likely part of our soul group that was playing a part in our relationship. So even though they've crossed over to the other side and we're physically separated, we eventually will cross over to the other side and be reunited with our soul group with our loved one again.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

And make a new decision, yes. How's it gonna look? How's it gonna look? Um and I they just said this to me, so I'm gonna say it. Why not? Okay, I've never said it before, so I don't think it's gonna make sense.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:03

The reason we don't believe in them leaving is because our brain wants to hold on and survive, so it says no, no, no, no, no. There is nothing to leave for. Right. And our soul believes. So when we're in our human body, our brain is going, there's nothing to believe. You don't want to be there. You you this is the only real thing.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

Because the human part of it is is designed to survive, just to survive no matter what. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 43:31

I just heard the brain says, hold on, survive, no way, it's not real, because if I believe it to be real, I'm leaving. Right. And the soul, I wrote, says, I believe. So the soul knows. The soul knows. But that's why we fight and the fear comes in. Because the brain's going, no, be afraid of that.

SPEAKER_05 43:51

Right.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

Because then we're then we're not gonna exist here. And we need that, don't we? We need that to stay. Because this is not easy.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

So that that gets us to a question which you sort of touched on, but I want to reintroduce the question. You've had s a life of of you know dying when you're a a s five-year-old child. You've had three suicides in your life, you've had abuse as a child, you've had so many difficulties, this terrible pain about not ha being able to have children on your own. You ultimately adopted a beautiful family. So much struggle, and we all suffer so much. What did you what is your understanding, having been to the other side? What is your understanding about why we go through so much here?

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Well, um th we're in this space to learn and grow, and it's like being in a classroom, and all of our experiences are is our teacher. And everything we experience helps us help ourselves and others, but we also expand. And again, our soul wants infinite expansion because it is infinite. And it wants to learn and and grow to the point of total understanding of everything we can possibly. So if I talk to you about the ocean, this is an example, and you've never put your feet in it, you've never smelled it, but you read a book all about it, and I told you all about it, you wouldn't really know the ocean until you put your feet in it and smelt it and rolled in the waves. And that's kind of what it's like. Like we hear and learn about things there, but we don't experience them there. This is our experiential place. And we and the reason we go through pain, if you think about, you cannot see the stars without the backdrop of the black. You have to have the dark to see the light, because otherwise there is nothing to see.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

It's the contrast of being in the darkness that allows you to understand what the light is. You have that in your book, that that metaphor, and it's it's so powerful and so clear. And so we as human beings have to delve, we choose to delve into that darkness, like that little girl that you saw in the room of knowledge, you know, saying, I want more, I want more. Really darkness, it sounded like because the angel's going, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 46:09

There's both. I mean, there's both, right? We have beautiful things here. I mean, look around.

SPEAKER_01 46:14

Yeah, there's so much beauty in this, but but but that all that pain, it gives us the backdrop, the black sky against which to see these beautiful points of light.

SPEAKER_03 46:25

Yeah, yeah. That's the point of it. And with that, we help other souls because we are healers, all of us. We actually want to help and support others. We do. We just don't know how sometimes, and our brain gets in the way. And unfortunately, the brain can be narcissistic, it can be sociopathic, it can be psychopathic.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

And again, you're not talking about David's wife necessarily coming up.

unknown 46:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:49

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 46:50

So, one of the dynamics of the podcast, or one of the core dynamics of the podcast, is um I'm someone who has done spiritual journeying and and investigations for for decades and decades. David, not so much. I've sort of dragged him along. Um, David, what do you make of this conversation? Because this has been such a powerful and insightful and beautiful and profound conversation. Where does it leave you?

SPEAKER_00 47:21

Um I'm struck by how similar the messaging is to other people that we've talked to, other things I've read. The messaging seems to be consistent. So is everyone drinking the same Kool-Aid or um or have they all learned from the same books, or is this really what's going on? I want the experiences, not not near death or anything like that, but uh, you know, I would love to go into a hypnotic trance and touch source and things like that because of there's so much doubt in me. Uh it's hard for me to fully, fully accept everything that I hear.

SPEAKER_03 48:01

Well, you know, the thing is, David, if you're not doubting, you're not human. And with the doubt comes the questions. Without doubt, there are no questions. So they're good with you doubting. You don't have to worry about it. It's your brain that wants the solid information. You know, you none of us will ever feel absolute. We have a brain that tells us different because it wants to do that. Do you ever doubt it?

SPEAKER_00 48:23

I mean, but you you absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 48:25

Oh my gosh, you guys, I'll go into work and I'll go, what if I'm fooling people? What if I'm harming people? Oh my God, what if this isn't real and I'm making this stuff up and I just happen to guess it the right way. And they tell me, just let's see how you feel when you get done working today, Susan. So, yes, I have doubt. I think a medium that says they have absolutely no doubt and they know 24-7 absolute that it's there is not a human being.

SPEAKER_04 48:46

Right.

SPEAKER_03 48:47

This is a process, it is not a plunge. You know, we're not diving into the cold water. This is a process, and you're getting warmed to it, and that's exactly how you get there. You get warmed to it. Just the fact that you've opened enough to go, I'm willing, I want it, is enough for them to give it to you as time goes on, but it just takes time.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

On a final note, Susan, let your let your walls come down for a second and just take a look around and let us know if you see see anyone here with uh with David and me.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

Well, I I I I definitely see a grandmother, um, and I think she's around David, and she feels very strong in his energy, like she's trying to help him.

SPEAKER_01 49:30

And I think at this point in the conversation, Susan does a quick reading for David, focusing on his two deceased grandmothers, who Susan sees in the room with us.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

It's an I or E sound, and it's strong for me.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

I have a grandmother named um Ida.

SPEAKER_03 49:45

Ida, thank you. That would be probably it.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Minutes into the reading, Susan sees these spirits show themselves as orbs of light.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

But not mean. Not mean. Just just not um you guys just had a huge orb go past you, you're gonna see on the tape. Literally came from David, came from David and just went across the screen.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

All right, so if you're watching the video, you can actually see the orbs go by.

SPEAKER_03 50:09

Came from David and just went across the screen. She's moving through here. I just want to tell you that. She's moving through here. You're gonna see her twice. Now I've seen her twice.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

The orb is is one of the grandmothers, you think?

SPEAKER_03 50:22

Oh, I know it is.

SPEAKER_01 50:23

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 50:24

I know it is, because we're talking to them.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

And they keep going by for that experience.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

That orb is popping around. Just saw it again. I saw I don't know if she had a John in her life or if she's singing this because she liked to sing. And as I'm saying it, you guys are going to see two orbs go across the back of him.

SPEAKER_01 50:43

Okay, so I want to interrupt the episode for one second and just ask David, who's here with me. I'm here. Okay. So you you saw the orbs go by in the room, the so-called orbs. And what did you make of the orbs?

SPEAKER_00 50:59

I can't fully explain the orbs. I want to explain the orbs. You know, I want to explain away the orbs with a trick of the light. We got lots of windows here, and the piece of dust floats in front of the camera.

SPEAKER_01 51:10

But I've never seen them before in all the 20 episodes I've ever done.

SPEAKER_00 51:13

You've never seen those before. It's murky. Very like I want to think that those are spirits. And it's in and it is it's difficult to explain given the timing in the in the video.

SPEAKER_01 51:30

Okay, I just wanted to do this little check-in. Now let's let's go finish the episode. I think that's a great idea.

unknown 51:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

Susan, this has been incredible. Yeah. I I was so excited about it, and rightfully so. You've you've just shared with us so much incredible information, and honestly, we could go on for hours and hours, I think, and and not exhausted.

SPEAKER_03 51:48

No, thank you. It was wonderful being here. You guys are easy to talk to, so it's I, you know, I'm grateful you and honored that you asked me.

SPEAKER_01 52:00

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