Ep 15: Speaking Life Into Each Other

We challenge ourselves with one question: if someone heard the way we talk at home, what would they believe about our marriage. We share how our words shifted over 22 years from survival and sharp tones to intentional encouragement that builds a fuller life together. 
• the difference between public politeness and private tone at home 
• what “speaking life” means in real marriage communication 
• why praise is about calling out potential, not controlling change 
• how self-awareness and personal growth make healthier conflict possible 
• daily encouragement habits like texts, prayer, and sharing resources 
• being careful with how we speak about our spouse to others 
• the identity effect of repeated words, both negative and positive 
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Transcript

Welcome And What We Aim For

SPEAKER_04 0:04

Hey everyone, welcome to Marriage Hot Takes, the podcast where we have honest conversations about marriage while it's still hot.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

We're Erin and Kim, and we're so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_04 0:13

This isn't about being perfect, having it all together, or pretending marriage is easy.

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It's about real life, real love, real struggles, real growth, and learning how to choose each other every single day.

SPEAKER_04 0:25

We'll talk about communication, conflict, faith, intimacy, expectations, and everything in between.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

So whether your marriage is in a great season or a hard one, you're not alone. Let's get into today's hot take.

SPEAKER_04 0:41

Welcome back to Marriage Hot Takes. Thank you for taking time to join us. I'm your host, Erin Degler, along with my wife Kim Degler. Each week we just come to to share a little bit about our last 22 years of marriage, some of the ups, the downs, and all arounds, some of the good things, bad things, some successes, some lessons we learned. And we always like to leave you at the end with a hot take, something that you can take away, take away from our conversation each uh each week and take into your relationship, into your marriage to open up that communication, open up that discussion uh about the different things we we talk about. Um

What Would Others Hear At Home

SPEAKER_04 1:23

so be as we're kind of getting ready for today's episode, this week's episode, um kind of question, one of the things um we're as we're discussing the topic, Kim mentioned um a bullet point of um what would it what would our marriage look like if other people heard the way we spoke to each other?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

What would their opinion of our marriage before be if they heard the way we spoke to each other?

SPEAKER_04 1:53

Yes. And so we're not talking about out in public.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

No, we're talking about your the way you speak to each other in your home. In your home, because not in front of everyone.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Because unfortunately, we know there is a difference in the words and the tones used at home versus out in public, yes. Um, around people.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

So if there was a little uh because I need you to mind your P's and Q's when we're out in public.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

Yes. And I need you to know words. Yes, and letters, yes, but then we know that doesn't always happen. It doesn't. Um so what would that sound like? If if and and I challenge you, we challenge you to think about right now. If someone's in your home, yeah, um, in the in the last week, yeah, what would their opinion of your marriage be? Be. Um and I'll I'll tell you, if probably the first two years for sure.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Or more.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

Or more. If if there was, if any of you heard the um the way we spoke to each other in our first couple years of marriage, um versus out in the public.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

They would say, y'all are not gonna make it.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

No, they would have said, You're there's no way.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Like no, why would y'all just need to call it call it good now, write it off.

SPEAKER_04 3:21

How could you talk to each other like that?

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

Um, and and probably the first 10 years, they might even still think that.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yes, probably so.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

Um, and 15 years, maybe not so much, but better. Um were you gonna say something?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

I was gonna say, yeah, because Kim had a mouth on her. Yes, yeah, she did. She did.

SPEAKER_04 3:46

Yeah. Um and then um within the last couple years, I mean, we've been we're about to celebrate 22 years.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Um I would say with the last year, five years.

SPEAKER_04 4:00

Five years?

SPEAKER_01 4:01

If you said year.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

Yeah, whoops. I misread that one.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Huh.

SPEAKER_04 4:08

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

I meant our marriage had gotten really good, and you probably meant the way I speak to you. Yes. Not that I spoke ugly to you.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

Right. So so you were saying within the last five years our marriage has gotten much more. Much better. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Much, much better. So I and you were gonna say the last year I spoke more life into you.

SPEAKER_04 4:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

So not that I was speaking ugly to you. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 4:33

So one people kind of understand that she's saying within the last five years our marriage has gotten much better. So that means 17 years.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Yeah, for 17 years into our marriage, it's it could it have lots of room for improvement.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

Lots of room. Um and now we still have lots of room. We're not saying that we don't.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

We are not per yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Um, but lots of room, 17 years. So we want to kind of share that, you know, just because you make it, you know, five years, oh, it's gonna be so much easier. 10 years.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

I think once we hit five years, it'll be so much better. It'll be easier after five. It's gonna be easier when we hit 10. It'll be an easier ride.

SPEAKER_04 5:16

Yeah. And it's not, and uh it's not been easy yet. No, so it's gotten better, um, much better in the last five years. Yeah. And then so is what I was referring to um in the last year, um, is kind of what our topic is today.

What Speaking Life Really Means

SPEAKER_04 5:32

Um, kind of what we want to discuss was about speaking life into the other person. Yes. Um and and so, so when we say that, somebody goes, Well, what do you mean they're alive? They're kicking. I mean, what does speaking life into them mean?

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Uh for me, it means seeing the good in you before you even know it's there. Giving you all the praises for all the things, even though maybe you have it's not all there yet, but I can see it. And so I'm gonna continue to lift you up in those words that I share with you multiple times a day.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

So I was what I was saying, I'm not necessarily exhibiting those things now.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Right. Um You know, and I I think a lot of times that you can nitpick your spouse to death. You know, I wish that she would lose five pounds. I wish that that she would gain ten pounds. I mean, whatever it be. I wish that they would work out, I wish that he would do um but to me, I think that like to speak life into them, even if you think that they need to lose or gain ten or fifteen pounds, you're gonna always just be like, You look so phenomenal. I mean, every every day, you know, you look so phenomenal. I think you're just, you know all of the things that they need to hear, that's what I think you should speak to them.

SPEAKER_04 7:23

We had a um one of our topics um this past month or so was for in our marriage group was um to magnify your marriage. In other words, we kind of talked about what you magnify, you glorify. But now when you what you magnify doesn't mean it's always a positive thing. If if it's a negative thing, you're glorifying that negative thing. You're um making it bigger because you're magnifying it. It can be something small, but you're magnifying it. Um and when you magnify, when you're speaking life into someone, it is really exactly like you said, you're magnifying, you see what they're capable of, what they can do.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

I see your greatness.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

You see the greatness, and then you're speaking into that as if it had already happened, um, even though it has not.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

And that's not for what is the word I'm looking for? That's not to be like um, you know, when you want to change somebody, but see manipulative. That's not being manipulative, that's speaking life into them so that they can feel what you already see.

SPEAKER_04 8:39

And and and and that doesn't mean I think sometimes we think, okay, you know, they're already kind of doing good, and we kind of speak life into them. It can be that, you know, maybe you're having trouble in your relationship, in your marriage, and the other person is not um maybe doing the right things or acting the right way, but you you see what kind of person, what kind of husband, what kind of wife they are capable of being. And by speaking life into them, you're speaking life as if that's the person you you have. And I think that's challenging sometimes. It it's not always, um, and again, it's not being manipulative, but you're because you love that other person so much, it's you get to see what it the possible. And you're speaking life into that possibility because by speaking life, that means you're giving life to something. You're giving life to that future person that you can see that, like you said, they might not be able to see that yet.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

But you can see what they're gonna walk into. You see the possibility.

SPEAKER_04 9:52

And and so, so then then how do you speak that life into that when that's not the case? When when that person is not acting in that manner or doing those things.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Well, I think that um I don't know. Because for me, I can speak those things into you because I see that that's what you're becoming. So it's not that I I I think you need to go do all of these things or that you need to change.

SPEAKER_04 10:23

So um so so how do we do that? You know, that that's you know you're speaking life into them, but again, I think it I think that goes back to what you said about not being manipulative. You're speaking life into them to achieve their greatness, yeah, their goal. The things that they are wanting, not the things that you want them to change to. Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Yeah. The things I speak over you and the things that I speak to you are for things that you are wanting. And that I know, I mean, which goes back to uh open communication, because you have to communicate to know what your spouse wants or needs, or so those are things that you already need to know to be able to speak life into them.

SPEAKER_04 11:16

Awkward silence. Awkward silence. Um I was just kind of thought because really when you're speaking life, um, when you think of new life and and a baby comes to this world, you're that is a new beginning. It is when you take care of them, you're um raising your um uh influencing that person's life by the way um you act, the way you speak, the mannerisms you use, you're influencing that baby, that um speaking into the life. You're and the same thing is true for our spouse. It goes from um our actions, what are we doing, um, into what are we speaking? What are our mannerisms? Um and and maybe that mannerisms are you you're just there, you're just listening. Maybe it is you're it's just a hug. Um, but I I think that's a big challenge is if if somebody was in your house right now and they just had that one day snapshot, what would they think of your marriage? Of of the way you're speaking to each other.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Right. How do you think that that would look in our house? What's your opinion of that?

SPEAKER_04 12:36

In our current household?

SPEAKER_01 12:37

Yes. Yes, not in the the previous ones that we discussed.

Private Growth Before Marriage Growth

SPEAKER_04 12:43

Um so I think currently for us, um and again, before I kind of share this, it's so both to be able to speak life into somebody else, um, I think it initially requires us to be working on ourselves. Uh because again, relationships are very important, and the other person is very important, and how we communicate, how we react to each other. But it is so important that we are self-aware that we take inventory of our own selves and what are some of our strengths, what are some of our weaknesses, what do I need to work on, how do I need to develop? Um, what kind and and these are all things that we didn't fully understand until I didn't understand probably till about um seven or eight years ago. Us together as a couple, um, maybe you didn't fully understand until the last couple years. Um so um I think now um many would be surprised because ours is reversed. I think what we speak in private um we is much more pouring into each other. It's much more praying over each other. Um it's it's speaking even more life into each other um than we do out in public. Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

It's out in public, people would think a lot. Do they speak to each other?

SPEAKER_04 14:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Are they married?

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Are they married? Um but it's not because we're ignoring each other, but it's um we we just um in private, we do try to be much more encouraged when we be much more about open communication. Um the things we like, don't like, we the things we need to work on, the things we're we are working on. Um, you know, we have more uh shared visions, um, shared dreams, um, shared understandings. Um so I mean that I mean, what do you think?

SPEAKER_01 14:51

Yeah, I agree. I think that if someone were to be recording us throughout the day and hear um just a well it wouldn't be throughout the day, it would be in the evening when you're at home, but just or in the weekend or in the weekend when you're here, to hear a um, you know, daily conversation, that is what they would, that is what they would hear, hear, hear, hear, here, here, here is just the open communication of lifting each other up when the other one is, you know, I need this or that, and in in in in the true light of just speaking life into you. I know that you could do that, and I I think that that's you know, a great idea. And um the constant encouragement of you know just reinforcing that I I know that you could you've got that. I know that that's who you're becoming. Um and I do think that that would be a very much of a surprise for many people because that are around us in the daily because you know they're gonna see us uh most people are only people are gonna see us at the gym, basically. Yeah, and I'm lumped in with the rest of the peeps.

SPEAKER_04 16:05

So it's no special treatment.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

No, there's no special treatment at the gym for the wife. Um, so I do think that that they would be very surprised in what they hear. Also,

Daily Habits That Encourage Each Other

SPEAKER_01 16:18

I you know, I s to me, I speak life to you every morning. That's the first thing I want you to see. And this is not verbally because I'm not getting up at that time that you do. But I do send you a text every that that's the first thing you have in the morning, and it's always some sort of encouragement of what I feel like you might need that day. You know, if I if it's towards the end of the week, it's you know, I know that you can go and say all these words today and and you're almost got the, you know, or if it's something that you're working on, um just encouragement for that.

SPEAKER_04 16:58

And and again, um or a prayer.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Or a prayer many times right before uh uh class.

SPEAKER_04 17:06

Yes. Um I speak or something like that. It's a it's a prayer. And so I don't want people to get the wrong idea or think, oh, that's you know, great that it's how nice that must be. It wasn't like that up until just within a couple years, really, probably more a year. Yeah. Um, and that's come from personal growth individually.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:30

Um, and and we've put a lot of work into our individual growth. Um, and and because of our individual growth, we're then better able to speak life into the other person. Um you know, maybe a year ago, occasionally we'd send each other, you know, hey, I listen to this great podcast, hey, you should listen to that. Now it's very regular that we're doing it. And and so then again, we send that, we both listen, we have a discussion about it, we talk about what do we like, what didn't we agree. Um, a lot of times from our conversations here, um, we're either get into bigger conversations beforehand as we discuss some topics, or sometimes after we get done, we have some bigger conversations about some things we touched on that maybe we didn't realize, maybe we um didn't understand or didn't think about. And so uh again, it it's it's just different. Um, but but again, I I think sometimes we're quick to say, well, it's the other person.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:35

But I think we have to be responsible. Um, because in our early years of our marriage, we worked on trying to stay alive. Literally just trying to stay alive. House, sports, I mean just everything. It was just it was really tough.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

We were just surviving.

SPEAKER_04 18:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

And um, and it's just gotten better as you know, as we've aged and we've matured and we've grown, that it everything has just gotten better.

SPEAKER_04 19:05

And that's been intentional. Intentional. It didn't, it didn't happen by accident.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

So I think one of our our challenges is that it it if you're in one of those seasons like we were early in our marriage, midway through our marriage. Later in our marriage. Later in our marriage, um there's hope. There is hope.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

I do think so much of that though goes back to communication. Um, because if the communication isn't there, again, you don't know what what to be speaking to them anyway. I mean, in in all honesty, you're probably not speaking anything to them.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

That's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

I mean, I feel like like you said, in the last year, um, you know, we have been very open about our communication, about everything, and are able to say more about, you know, I don't really like it when you do that. Or I do like it when you do that, you know, because in the past, if I had said, I didn't really like the way you would do that, how would that have gone with you?

SPEAKER_04 20:16

Oh, I'd it'd gone all over me, it would would turn into a big uh more than a discussion, a heated argument, or not talking for a day or two.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah. Whereas now I can say, I didn't really like the way you did that. And you would say what?

SPEAKER_04 20:31

I say, uh I'm sorry. I mean, I didn't realize that.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 20:34

Um because I understand that we're both trying to grow.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

And kind of and so I so we both I think encourage that. Like, oh, well, I want to know if you don't like something.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 20:43

Because I want to, I'm really working on making you happier, making it better. So if you don't like something, please tell me. Because I think now we're at the point where we invite that other you, each other, to say, hey.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

I don't like that.

SPEAKER_04 20:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Yeah. Um I that might have been the way we've always done it, but you know, I just did it because I thought I had to, but I don't really like doing it that way. Um, and I do think that a lot of times, um, I don't know what made me think of this, but when I said, I don't I don't know that I like it that way. I always think of uh I think it was a movie or something, and where the girl in the the movie should she was a mom and kids had grown, whatever, and they asked her how she liked her eggs and she had to give the I don't I don't know how I like my eggs. And it really was uh a nod to moms of they put everybody else first and they could probably list off how everybody in the family likes the eggs but them. Um because uh they end up kind of being like um what is that animal chameleon that just blends in and does whatever they want. So maybe. Maybe everybody likes scrambled eggs, so I guess I like scrambled eggs. And then come to find out, maybe you like fried runny eggs, but you just didn't know. And so I think so many times in your marriage, maybe you really don't know what you like. And so maybe like with you, you know, there were times when I

How You Talk About Your Spouse

SPEAKER_01 22:20

might say, I don't I don't like that. And I maybe I we really didn't know. Maybe you didn't know that's something that you didn't care for, or we didn't, you know, I don't really like it when we talk to each other that way, or I didn't really like it when you said this in front of other people. And I think that um too, with that, you and I are always aware of how you're speaking about your spouse in in front of others as well. Um I did catch my I tell you all the time that I um I don't normally say anything negative about you, but I did today and I caught myself doing it. And then I was like, oh talking negative about my husband.

SPEAKER_04 23:05

So I caught I caught I did catch that this time. Did you hear that? Yeah, I didn't catch that. And because I think I did say that's not true.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Oh wait, when was it?

SPEAKER_04 23:15

It was during booty class, I think.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Oh no, it wasn't that time. I did it twice then.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Oh, was I around?

SPEAKER_01 23:23

No, no, it was during yoga, and I was talking, we were talking about decluttering, and I said I love to keep everything decluttered. I love to keep everything and I said, now my husband, on the other hand, uh he'll be walking in his office right now, and you you know, and as I was saying it, I was like, Oh, well, now that's not really my story to share.

SPEAKER_04 23:42

But but now in your defense, I have I did just tell that yesterday that my desk is a mess and I'd be embarrassed. So I did say yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

I do think I did even say what I think he said that on one of the things.

SPEAKER_04 23:55

Yes. So I wouldn't take that as well. I don't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

I don't either, but I do remember you say, now that's not really Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:02

But now that's kind of different because it was kind of a joke, and I was there.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

But I do think that that's important because that then becomes their opinion of who you are. You know, and if you if you say that enough times in front of people, then that's what that's too what they would think that you are.

SPEAKER_04 24:22

But by speaking life into somebody, even when they're not around and you're sharing with others about your spouse, you're still speaking life into them of the way you're talking about them.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:32

Um, because you're exactly right. So um what if we what if you have a friend and you've never met their spouse?

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

You've never met them.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

So you only know what they're telling you.

SPEAKER_04 24:42

Yes. And then you meet them and you go, ooh, that she's a or he's a ooh.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Because you already had a preconceived notion. Is that the word?

SPEAKER_04 24:50

Yeah. Okay. That's very good.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:53

Yeah. So and so you can still, it's not just speaking to them that you speak life into them. It's also when you speak of them.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Speak of them.

SPEAKER_04 25:04

To others, are you speaking life into them? Um and that's the way you build them up. You you I mean, um share with others. It's it's not you go to a girlfriend and go, you won't believe what my husband did. I swear. You know, and that that's not speaking life into him because because that could be hurting um him when he meets those. Maybe he doesn't, or they like you said, they do have a different opinion of him. So that whatnot happens sometimes when we have a different opinion of people, we start treating them differently. Um, and and so you're you're not speaking life in him be or her because of that.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

So I think you just have to be very mindful of your words. Um, but I think even more so to each other and be mindful about speaking those words. I feel like if I tell you enough times what I see in you, then you will rise to that. Again, not to be manipulative of that's how I want you to be. It's that I can see where you want to be. And if I continue to praise those words or continue to speak them over you, or I continue to pray those over you, then I have no doubt that that is where you will be. And that's who you will become.

SPEAKER_04 26:28

And I mean, and it's the same thing as if we're if we're um being degrading to a spouse or saying, you know, you know, you're you're so lazy around here, or can you not get a job, or um, you can't fix anything, or can you not put on some clean clothes? And you say that over and over again, they begin to have that identity of those things you're speaking of them. And the same thing is true as you're saying. If it if it's a higher level of what you can speak to them, they will rise to that because that is what you're constantly hearing. I I am successful, I am um um a godly man, I do want to serve, you know, I I do care about my family. I am, you know, all those things, you start to walk into that identity. Either way, um, you start to walk into that identity. Um and I think that's um, you know, and again, I want to to stress and emphasize that you have to put a lot of work into yourself. Right. What makes a good marriage is two people that have put a lot of work into themselves. They take time for themselves because if you improve, your relationship will improve. And I think so many times we just think the other person needs to.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

It's always the other person.

SPEAKER_04 27:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Yeah. And in those 15 years, uh it was always the other person that needed to improve.

SPEAKER_04 27:56

Always.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Until you finally led.

SPEAKER_04 28:01

But again, there was a number of years that I was growing that you necessarily weren't growing. No. And I and it wasn't like um I said, hey, you need to start, you need to get on board with this. It was I tried to be as a husband, I tried to be an example. Um a leader. Again, it it doesn't mean that we're getting it right, we're still having disagreements and all that, um, still having challenges.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

And it doesn't mean that you're always that you were always right.

SPEAKER_04 28:28

No, not at all. Yeah. No. Wasn't I was always right at all.

SPEAKER_01 28:31

Right.

SPEAKER_04 28:33

Because we know who the perfect one is in the relationship.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

We do.

SPEAKER_04 28:38

That would be you. Because our joke is every time we have a a question about maybe conflicts on that at our one our marriage group, it's always can everybody looks at one. I look at her and she goes, I do that. I mean, I'm perfect.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

I well, I mean, like as we do so many of these things. I always think like, yeah, I do that.

unknown 28:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Well, I do that. Yeah, that's me. That can you contest that? Any of that?

SPEAKER_04 29:07

Well, sometimes at our marriage groups, I can go, I don't well, well, really. Your truth and my truth are two different things.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_04 29:18

That might be a conversation from where we get done. Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Because I'm like, I cannot think of a single time that I wasn't just being like, yeah, I do that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:29

Well, I mean, just like what when I was growing and you weren't.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Uh-huh. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 29:37

I mean, you can't say I was doing that, that you were doing that.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Oh, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

You know.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Right. Um I'm saying since we've started marriage group, when we discuss certain things, um uh, I'm normally like, yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_04 29:51

But but would you agree you're a completely different person than you were five years ago when we started marriage group? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:56

So and you would have said five years ago. They're not.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Nowhere close.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

Kim's words now will pray over you. Uh Kim's words then would beat you with her words. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Hang on just a minute. I got some words for you.

SPEAKER_04 30:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Let me pull them all out.

SPEAKER_04 30:18

So the words she uses are much better now and nicer.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Um didn't want to be on the other end of that.

SPEAKER_04 30:25

More speaking life into you instead of beating the life out of you.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

Um, so that's correct.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

That is correct.

SPEAKER_04 30:34

So there's a big difference. Um, and we uh I contribute that a lot to that this being your fourth year of reading the Bible um all the way through. Um I think that is very powerful. Very, very powerful. I do too. Um, so I'm looking forward. Um I'm not even close to your four years. I'm just on my second year skipped a year, but anyhow. Um so looking forward to that. But what is today's hot take?

Hot Take On Words And Identity

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Uh let's see. I gotta find where that is in my phone. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 31:07

Oh, I caught you off guard.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

You did. And today's hot take is the words we speak can either create a diminished laugh or a full laugh.

SPEAKER_04 31:21

So the words we speak will create some sort of life.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 31:26

Um, without a doubt. But do we want it to be a diminished small life or a life that is full of um prosperity, of greatness, of vision, of confidence, all of those things. What kind of life do we want to uh speak into? Um and so we have to be intentional on our daily choices of words because again, we can't take those words back, and once they're said, um, they will either go straight to the diminished life or the full life.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Good job.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Anyway, you're so amazing.

SPEAKER_04 32:01

We're still on the camera. Sorry.

unknown 32:04

Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 32:05

So that we were done. So so that would be an example of of uh uh and that was that was not her um trying to be funny. Um that was just sometimes her truth comes out. Um that's the way she speaks to me. So if if you were to be a fly on the wall, you would have just witnessed what we what happens sometimes when nothing is rolling and we're home alone. Um, but that is just the simplicity of speaking life into your spouse. It doesn't take rocket science, it's just simply sometimes you're amazing. I'm proud of you. Um, you can do this. Um you're a great dad, you're a great husband, you're a great father, your great son, daughter, uh, mom, all those things. It's it's simply speaking life, it doesn't take much. So our challenge is is to you is um to speak life into others, into your spouse, um for them and you as a couple to have a full life. So thank you for joining us on today's marriage hot takes. I'm Aaron.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

And I'm Kim.

SPEAKER_04 32:59

I'll see you here, right? We'll see you here next time on Marriage Hot

Challenge And Final Encouragement

SPEAKER_04 33:03

Takes.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Thanks so much for spending this time with us on Marriage Hot Takes.

SPEAKER_04 33:07

We hope today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, and gave you something practical to take back into your marriage.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

Remember, strong marriages aren't built in one big moment.

SPEAKER_04 33:16

They're built in small, intentional choices made every day.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

If this episode helped you, please share it with someone you care about.

SPEAKER_04 33:23

And don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. It really helps us reach more couples. Until next time, keep choosing each other, and we'll see you for the next hot take.