Episode 10: School's Out for Summer

Phil and Shannon discuss Public School vs ABA and the changes that are coming. Also go over issues at the Waterpark and pool with Carson. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Has it been over a week or has it been two weeks since we last did one? Has it been a while?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

It's been quite a while.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Quite a while?

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Yeah, I feel like it's been like three weeks. No?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I don't know. The last one was that interview we did, and I think that was around Mother's Day. What is it now? Yeah, almost three weeks now. I thought it was like a week, it feels like.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

I feel like a lot has happened since our last one.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Yeah. Um, a lot of different stuff. Um, some wins, some losses. I mean, it's been uh crazy because obviously Carson's almost eight years old now and we gotta start looking at some other alternatives for him. So I wanted to kind of get on here and discuss that, discuss the the differences of everything. Um kind of what uh what's been going on. Anything anything you want to start with before we do all that? Is there anything exciting going on? New and exciting?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

New and exciting, no. I think it's uh I don't know, pretty much the same. A little couple things happen, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah, it's been it's been crazy with the with the birthday thing, and then um it's been it was cool to have Carson sit in and watch the show that I got to put on for him, and that was pretty cool. Uh he's was doing a lot of vocal stuff as of late. Um he's uh he's having a good week. I think he had a few bad weeks in between. Um seemed really stressed out. I don't know if he was sick or what was going on with him, but the meltdowns were just um they were big. Um going to the pool has been kind of up and down. It's been good, but then stressful. He likes to go splash in front of people, and uh people like to take pictures of him and stuff like that, which is kind of weird. Um one guy actually told me we were at the pool one time, I think it was the day before we went to the water park, he goes, he goes, I don't care if he slashes me, he can splash me as much as he wants to. So uh you're in a pool. Um Carson's like a like he likes to dog paddle in front of people, so he's not intentionally splashing people. Um move the wire a little bit, tighten it up. Okay. Um he likes to dog paddle in front of people, and uh I think it's his way of kind of social interacting with people. Um he likes to do it right near right near somebody.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Yeah, like he likes to go up, especially if there's like a group of kids, likes to go next to them and then just start like splashing with his hands and a lot of like I don't try to like discourage him, I just kind of try to like maneuver him and like to splash away from them so he's still kind of like by the kids but not splashing in their face. Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

I I feel like I go to the pool and I get splashed all the time. I'm just gonna start letting it go, I think, and just kind of dealing with it and just apologizing. Like when we went on Sunday last week and that girl got kind of offended. I mean, I apologized instantly when he did it, but she had like her phone in the pool and her earbuds in, and I think she got upset because like she thought it was like an adult area or something.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Um that's why I just didn't let him go over there at all because all those little alcos were taken and I just knew he was gonna start splashing, and someone was bound to get upset.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Let him get upset. I don't care. Um, I I think he's gotta start uh it's kind of his way of social interacting with people, um, in a sense. And I mean he's not intentionally splashing their face, he's just splashing around them. So I don't know. It's like you're in a pool. I don't know what you're expecting to happen in a pool of not getting wet. So um I it's a busy pool. A lot of kids jump in in front of me, they splash me, they do crazy stuff. I don't know. So that's been going on. It's been um still the weekend adventure stuff to get out of the house and do stuff. Um we missed one for the birthday weekend, that was about it. Um, but outside of that, he got to do a lot of fun stuff. Um, it's been up and down. But right now we're dealing with the challenge of um when he turns, was it eight years old is the last year, or is it is it before he's eight?

SPEAKER_01 4:36

What's the I don't ever um he ages out of his ABA clinic at eight years old, so he'll be eight next April. Um I don't know if it's like I don't think it's like as soon as he turns eight, they're gonna kick him out.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

I think it's just I think that's when they start making the move, though.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Yeah, you need to like have another plan and they want to like transition him away from their clinic, but it's not gonna be like an abrupt, like, okay, get out.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Well, this is yeah, this is the beginning of the kind of fearful stages of what we were we were worried about of having him be comfortable somewhere and then have to move him. Um, and that's the worry because he he does he still has his good days and more good days than bad, but he does have some of his bad days, which everyone has, so it's kind of hard just to fault him for that. But now we gotta take his whole thing and kind of do something differently now. Um so now we're facing do we put him in public school, do we do we do private school? Do we homeschool? I mean, in a perfect world, if I if I can make a wish of it, what I would do or what what I could do is I would like to homeschool him, but I have no basis of doing that. Um and I think there's a part where he needs to be around other kids and other people, and he needs to have life expect uh experiences as well. He can't just be reliant on you and I um for certain things, but it's really scary the fact that like he's gonna be put somewhere else because obviously my my algorithm is going nuts with all the negative stuff I'm seeing in public school, uh especially with autistic kids. Um not not that that has any basis of me doing it, but I mean it's I have to we have to I kind of comb out really what we we want to do with these schools and then really vet out if it's a good fit for him because we're not gonna know for months if we made a right decision or not. It's not gonna be instantaneous. I mean, we don't know how his days are and what's what's good, what's bad. Um and we don't know what if we run into the same thing we went to the last school where they where they basically take them and then we don't get updates and we don't know what goes on in that school at all. Um, you know, they're just teachers. Um, some are more qualified than others, and I don't, you know, fault anybody for that, but it takes a lot. It takes a lot to teach Carson to keep him focused and to any autistic kid for that matter, um, or any kid with disabilities, it's a lot. I don't want him to go there and just do nothing. Um, I don't think there's no point in that for me.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Um Yeah, I also don't want him to go there and have like an increase in behaviors and elopements and all of that because he's not um with you know an eight all day long.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Um I think that's one of my biggest worries is him not having a one-to-one in the school setting.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Yeah, and it I mean that's that's part of his life that that's kind of the scary part because it's we gotta start doing stop getting him used to that in a sense, that's what I think of, but then there's times where he needs it. He needs the one-on-one because he can't communicate very well, especially if he doesn't know you. Um he's getting better with his AAC device. Um I would like to start like letterboarding, but that's a lot to put on him, um, especially this. And so, like to me, it's like we should start doing it now before going to school. Um, so at least there's communication on some aspect or something that he can communicate with um better than when he's just pushing buttons because those buttons can mean something completely different when he goes somewhere else. Um so it's the fun part now. Um what would be a good system for you? Like what in an ideal world, what would be your perfect scenario for what what we need to do for this?

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Um I would like a school setting where he's like you know learning. Um But like I said, I'm I'm I feel like I'd be more comfortable with him having like an aide with him all day at the beginning and then maybe like fading that out. Um I know you can request that, I just don't know how much how much is like honored, especially in the public school where you know staffing's already kind of low.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

I don't think that's our problem though. I mean it's it's I mean all we can do is request what we need to go there. I mean because now there's there's a truancy law that we learned about this year that if he's not actively yeah, since he turned seven in April. Yeah, he's gotta be enrolled in something, otherwise, I guess there's like a truancy court and stuff like that. But the school, everyone told us that that would never be the case if he's going to ABA full time. Um I just don't know if ABA is the answer either. I feel like there's times where he needs to be doing more.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Um, but it's yeah, so maybe it's like a blessing in disguise that he's gonna age out of his center soon. So we have to push out of it.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Yeah, move on to something else and I I always think about that school that we first saw when we came out here. I think that'd be kind of a cool scenario because it gets everything that he needs. It's like everything on one. It's just he's there for twelve hours a day, which is just was it twelve hours? I thought it was like it feels like twelve hours, like you drop him off at nine and you pick him up at six.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

I know that's not twelve hours, but I mean that's kind of what he was doing at his center for a long time doing the whole 8:30 to 5 thing. So long, it's like a 40 hour. It is a it's a school, and it also has like the ABA speech OT all under the same roof. Yeah. During the day.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

And he has an aid one-to-one, but that's it.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Um, I don't know. I think just the location of it just seemed like so dark and dreary in there.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

I drove by it not too long ago on accident because uh me and all were going somewhere, and I remember I saw I I passed through it a few times actually, so it's not terribly far, but it is it's like 25 minutes away, I think. Something like that.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Yeah, it's further than where he's going now, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

But I feel like since you know, we are able to travel since you know I'm a stay-at-home.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Yeah, it's not about that. I mean, we can get him there and be on time and stuff. It's just the worry of getting him there and then what's the next step, and then it turns into um, is it the right fit for him? Because the goal is obviously when he goes to school is to learn. And if he's not learning, if he's going there just to basically be told to sit down and and pseudo-pay attention and hand over hand everything. I don't know what the point of that is. I don't, I mean, that's kind of my problem with this whole system is it's it's so broken because the only options you have is this and you or ABA, and ABA can only go so far with them. Um so it's like what's the what what do you do? What what do you do in the public school? And then there's some people that just let him go to public school all day, and then they just when he comes home, that's it. That's all he does. Um I think the best case scenario is gonna be him doing like a half day at school, um, just to try it out to get used to it, and then it's gonna be something where we do like an at-home ABA or something, so he could have some kind of relief, and then I don't know, gets get some kind of time to himself um that he needs to do. So it's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Yeah. There the good thing is though there are a few options, like the school we toured before, and then there was another one that um one of our babysitters we have when we first moved out here told us about. Um I just don't know if that one's autistic only, or I think it's all disabilities, but um I don't remember what school that is or which one you're talking about. I do. I'll we can look into that too.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

What does it do? What's the point of it?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Um just for autistic kids? I don't know. I think it's all abilities, but I think it's the same thing where it has like the ABA speech and OT all in the school.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

So is he there for like dust to dawn, basically?

unknown 12:34

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

I haven't looked that far into it.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

It's too much. I don't know. It it is a lot, it's a lot. I mean out here they go to school, kids go to school a long time out here.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Yeah, they're serious out here.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Yeah, it's it's I'm glad they don't give homework because the homework, well, at least at the age that we're at now, I'm sure there'll be homework down the road.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

But Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

I just want to find something suitable that he can kind of grow into and then stay the course for a while so he can get used to it and then understand it because it's that's that's when he has good weeks like this, when he's doing when he gets swim, when he gets all the stuff that he likes to do, and then he um they have a good organized schedule for him, like they do in ABA, it seems to work, but when then there's someone brand new or the schedule changes, or he can't go outside because it's raining or something like that, then it turns into just World War III. Um, not as bad, but it turns pretty bad. So the options really are um limited. I just wish there was a way for us to see how the school like worked, and then I can see day to day. Like if they're I know you can't put cameras in school, but I mean that would make me feel better if I knew that he what it was going on every single day. So he I know how he can react and what it is. It's just obviously we can't do that. We can't always be there for him like that.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

I know. But as a you know, special needs parent, I feel like having cameras in the classroom would just be such a you know, peace of mind and so you could see.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

It's also a serious invasion of privacy for the kids.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah.

unknown 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

But I mean, you're gonna build law and every all that.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

Well, you're I mean it's not like we want it in the bathrooms. I just want it to be in a situation for the classroom so I can see what goes on and then see the schedule and then duplicate it or help the teacher understand my kid more. Um these teachers have to go above and beyond. And it's it's it's it's a tall, it's a tall ask, but I mean, that's why I'm not a special needs teacher. I don't I I think that requires a whole special skill of um big bigger salary, um, more patience. Patience for sure. More love. I mean, it's there's not but the problem is that it's just people just do it because they think there's a little bit more income into it when they're teachers, but they don't care about the kids. I mean, I see it all the time from from like I feel like not all teachers. I mean, it's I'm not saying it's all of them. It's just I feel like with this thing, it's like we gotta be more on the same page of what we're all doing. Um and that's the part that I I don't know how to do because it's a public school. I can't tell them what curriculum they're gonna teach my son and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Yeah, and it's scary, like like you said, the algorithm on social media, it's like you see all these children getting abused at school.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Yeah. Happens all the time, and the problem is we don't like it, like, yeah, school buses, and you see it on in classrooms where like somehow, but like somehow someone I just saw the one where the lady put the the camera in the in the kid's hair. Yeah, too. And then now she's like doing this the the stuff, and everyone has an opinion on that, and uh I mean she's just looking for answers of why what happened to her kid, and now all of a sudden it's like you know, there's always different negative things, or why didn't she hurt the teacher and all this crazy stuff? I don't know. I that's not for me to say. I mean, if that situation ever arises, I hope and pray it never does. Um, but that's the scary thing is that we don't, you know, I I we see it from afar when we go to the pool. We see Carson get kind of bullied around and and stuff like that with other kids and everything like that. Yeah. Um, and where he can't always be there to protect them. So it's it's comes to this where uh we just want what's best for our son. Because realistically, Carson he doesn't really mind it very much because obviously if it bothered him so much, he'd walk away from it. Um But at school and stuff like that, he's not gonna have the ability to. Um, and that's that's the real that's the real life thing with public school. Um because it's not even the kids in the classroom, it's kids outside the classroom. When he goes to recess. I mean, the the one in California was they just put a special shirt on him, like a different colored shirt, and he got to get and he got to be in the playground with all the kids, and they didn't even they I feel like they didn't even watch him because he'd just be on the far side of the school or like playing in the dirt with other kids.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

But yeah, I think they just put like a bright yellow or bright orange shirt on them so that they would, you know, be able to see their kids with all the other kids.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

With all the eloping, yeah, so Carson elopes and they just put a bright yellow shirt on him and lock the gates and hope he doesn't get out. I don't I and again, I'm not faulting them. It's like they didn't build this they didn't build the system. It's just there's gotta be a better way. There's gotta be something that's out there that we're not seeing that would be a better solution for us. Um and I don't think I don't want to do just homeschooling because I think he's gotta get out in the world and he's gotta experience it. Um Heaven forbid we're not here for him. I mean, I don't want him to fail and then like not have any life expectant, like an experience for anything that he's doing. So it's really comes down to what's the best option that I can get education for my son um and get all the stuff set up. I mean, it's there's there's not gonna be a perfect situation in anything we select.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

You go to private school, I mean, you're only you're gonna pay for what you what you get, but even with private school, there's gonna be faults with that as well. Um I still think I mean I called around to private schools before we got here and I was told that he couldn't go because he was quote unquote aggressive. So not everyone's gonna accept him.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Um and a lot of places don't won't take him either because he's non-speaking or potty trained fully, yep. Yep. We ran into that with a lot of like APA clinics too before we came out here.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

I don't know if there's a further AB, I'm sure there is a further ABA clinic that goes past his age.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

There definitely is. It's just a particular one that we liked. It only goes up to eight, but and I don't know if I want to keep doing that either. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

I think that he's gotta have some education. He can't just keep going through and just learning how to deal with his emotions and everything like that. He's gotta be learning something. I mean, if it even if it was just communication and and you know stuff like that, I mean, he knows everyone just sticks a puzzle in front of him and then he does the puzzle really quick, and all of a sudden it's like, oh well, he's he did that today. Well, that's we need more than that. And so I think um yeah, it's it I think that we just need to find we're gonna have to go through all these schools um one by one. Um you know I was hoping that the school we sent stuff to would would have got back to us sooner. Um I know we delayed it by like a week to get back to them, but they were supposed to get back to us before summer break, and it looks like they didn't. So um I just guess we have all the paperwork and we just we start touring and start finding the right spot for them and then hopefully get a plan together before the end of the year, because um I think the goal is somewhere around December or January would be nice um to do something completely different, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

I think we have PTSD from our school experience, our prior school experience with him.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

Yeah, I mean the schools out here could be great, it could be way different.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

But like you said earlier, it's like no matter what route we go, we're not really gonna know if it's a good fit for a couple months because it's gonna be new to him and he's gonna have, you know, probably like increase in behaviors and all of that before he like finally gets comfortable.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

I mean maybe it won't be like I mean that would be the hope, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

That's I just think we gotta find a good we gotta find a good setup because I mean there was times it's in his public school, I mean, I I mean they did tell us that he was the worst student, but in his public school, uh there was times where like he did thrive and he did do stuff that I didn't think he'd be able to do. Um so yeah. And that's the thing, it's like we always think just because he's not speaking that he doesn't know or able to do stuff, and that's not even the case at all. But I always stop myself and think about that when I'm like saying stuff around him or anything like that. It's like you can't talk of talk about him like he's not there, and I know that I'm guilty of that sometimes, but I always try and make sure that and a lot, but the problem is a lot of teachers and other people that don't know him will do that because he's non-verbal. So um it's uh it's a scary thing, and then that this IEP gets set up, and the IEP is just as you know, so it could be completely worthless. I mean, the one we had was worthless before. I can't imagine the one we're gonna have next. Um, you know I we looked at it the wrong way, like it was just what they were gonna teach our son when realistically the the contract should have been what they should have how they should have protected our son. Um and we we learn we learned that the hard way as well.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Um Well, I think his IEP that we would set up now, I think would be more attainable because they have all of the goals that he's working on now and that he has um you know that he has met and that they're working on now. So I think like it would be more achievable. But yeah, I think we need to we definitely need to have uh what's the word I'm looking for? Someone come with us. Like one of his from from from his uh ABA center. Yeah. They're gonna like the BCBAs, they said that they love doing those meetings with parents just to, you know, let us know like what our rights are and you know help Carson to set goals that are realistic for him.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

I think they can set up where we have to have an aid with them at all times, at least in the beginning. Um he's gonna know and trust, and it's I really think that he just like thrives better with that.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

And I mean, yes, he can't always have that, but at first, like in a new setting, I would like him to have that and then kind of just like fade that out.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Yeah, I mean, Carson's made a friend at ABA too, and they they they hang out, they do stuff together. Yeah, he's gonna lose that as well, and he's gonna lose um knowing the kids around him and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Well, his little buddy is gonna age out before he does, so.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's a lot of scary things going on right now of us to have to think the think about all that, but I think that I think we should obviously give public school a try before we just abandon it. Um I know, like you said, we have PTSD about it, but we can't always rely on just having it be private and extra stuff, like extra steps and extra coddling, in a sense. Um I think we need to work harder at the communication, work harder at the potty training, um, work harder um with his schedule and stay on top of it, and then just try and thrive add into that that school schedule and then come home and have a little small schedule where then he can come home and be done at the same time like that when no one would be out of school. Um I think that's fair. I think that he needs that, but obviously he can have after-school activities. I mean, no one has sports. Um, so Carson should have something to do after the fact. Whatever that might be. You know? Yeah. We got we got the water park season passes. I mean, we should be using those as much as possible. Even though he did climb out of the water slide last time we were there.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Yeah, he started climbing up it.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Yeah, there was an outdoor water park part of the part of the water park that we go to that's usually indoors. We go outside and they have this really cool lazy river that has like a wave pool and everything that Carson loves, so we went around that like four or five times and it was great. And then we found this little outdoor kid park that had like kind of some bigger slides, but usually he doesn't go on the bigger slides because there's a lot of water pouring on your head to get there, and so he's scared of it.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Yeah, on the inside part.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

So the outside didn't have it, so he went down the first time and loved it. And then Shan and I were just kind of trading off, like taking him up and then dropping him down, and then the last time he kept getting more and more comfortable by like how he was going down. He kept like going down his knees, then he'd go down his back, and then he'd go down like just goofing off and laughing, and then the last time he went down, he stopped himself because there wasn't a lot of water pressure, and then he started climbing up the top of the slide, um, like on the side of it, not like going back up with a line of people. So I'm shouting at him. And Shannon had to go down the slide with no water pressure and push herself down.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Yeah, and as soon as he saw me coming down, he looked at me, laughed, and then went down the slide himself.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

So and then we uh had to get him out of there because it was it was kind of closing anyway to go back inside, and he kind of had a little bit of a meltdown. And um Yeah. Yeah, it's a fun, fun day that day.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

But there were another there was another area outside that had a whole bunch of other slides that were kids' slides, they weren't as tall as that one. So maybe we'll venture out again, but I think he needs to go back.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

We just gotta send no one behind him. I don't care how tall he is, either have I'd rather just tell him like, look, he's gotta go behind him because just in case that happens, um it's safer that way than having one of us go down it. So I'm sure if we explain the situation, it just I know it gets exhausted explaining situations to everybody, but it's like when we got to the when we got inside and then I just because Carson likes to lean over the water slide and kind of put his when there's no one behind him, he likes to lean on the water slide and kind of just put his hands out and then like gather the water pressure.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Like feel the water pressure.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

So to the lifeguard, they think he's going trying to go down head first, which Carson will never go down head first. He hasn't done it yet. The year and a half we've been going to this place. So the new lifeguard, I was kind of just fed up, and I just said, Hey, he's not gonna go down head first, he's just not gonna do it. Just stop, he's not gonna do it. And he's like, Well, I'm just gonna do it. I said, I know you have to do it, I but I'm right here, my wife's down there, we're right here watching him. There's no one here. He will go when I tell him to go. And the guy just walked away, and I felt kind of bowed, but I was like, I'm just I get tired of explaining it to people what goes on.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Yeah, it's frustrating, especially if they're being there for like hours on an end and you've already explained it to like six landlords.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

Well, they get like they and again, they're just doing their jobs too.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

No, yeah, that's why we're like we usually just like let it go. But and like we're very respectful. I think we've already talked about this on the pod before, but like we're very respectful. When some kid comes up, we always make Carson go down the slide or move out of the way, and you know, yeah, he waits his turn.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

Uh that's why we go up there so he so he knows he has to go, and then he doesn't cut people off, and he does a really good job of it. But there's some times where he like wants to sit there and play with the water for a minute or two, and I usually I let him do it as long as there's no one in line or no one coming up. And then after that, I just got was getting death stares from other parents, and um I'll tell you what, I'm never going there sober again, that's for sure. I that was like one of the worst experiences of my life of going there sober. So I gotta start uh heavy drinking in the parking lot before I got out there. You don't need to, they have bars throughout the place. Well, I just save money, one, and number two, I just get the pregame because I don't at that point I just don't care. I I can laugh it off a lot easier. When I was sober, I was just everything was irritating me more and more. I know I'm coming off like an alcoholic a little bit, but I don't I don't care. I'm just gonna be honest with you. I sometimes drinking does help my anxiety of the stress of it sometimes. Um and not just in situations like this where hey, if I had a few drinks in me, I would have just laughed the whole thing off and not have cared, and then oh Carson Klein on the slide, ha ha ha ha, let's go up again and do it again. I would have probably done that or something rather than just freaking out and getting out of there. So there are times that alcohol can make it better. That would have been one of them.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Okay. See meanwhile, I'm just still sober, stressing out, and you're just like you can get a few drinks in you too, you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

I don't know. A few white claws, you'll be ready to go. Then everything's then everything's funny to you too. Then everything's fine. We're there all day, and we the problem is if we're just there for so long that he gets to the point where like he tries to do crazy stuff because he can.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

I think sometimes we're just there too long and he gets like too into it and too manic, and then it's like to the point where he's like, Yeah, trying to like he'll go down the slide, or there's like a point in where like at the end of the day, we're like you go somewhere with Nolan or whatever, and I'm by myself, and I'll be at the top of the slide trying to get him to go down, and then by the time I try to go climb back down and get into the water, he's already climbing up the slide. So it's like now I'm getting whistleblown from like you know, not being at the bottom and then not being at the top, and it's just it's just better when we have a it's a you know a tag team where one of us can be at the top, one of us can be at the bottom.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Usually someone brings me a whiskey, and I'm usually pretty happy up there.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Nobody's bringing you whiskey. You're going to get your own whiskey.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

I was brought whiskey two or three times last year. One of the kids knocked into me and I actually spilled the whiskey on the ground, and I felt pretty bad.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Oh, and um was the last time we were there when Carson was in the wave pool, and he would run to the top of the wave pool and then like run back and run jump over the waves. And then one time he went to the top and he saw this man, this older man, sitting there with his right in the water, by the way. Not like well, they have like tables and chairs that are like literally like an inch away from like the little shallow water in the wave pool. And he had two cups of what I'm assuming was whiskey. I think it was beer, or whatever, and it was alcohol. And and Carson just saw the cup, and I I didn't get there fast enough. I did get there in time. He picked up the cup and went to dump it, and so I grabbed his hand and he dumped probably about like a little bit, like half of it before I got there. And then um, I apologized to the man, he just laughed it off, and then and I did go there and offer to buy him another drink. We should. I felt bad.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

But he I think him and him and his son both declined that they didn't need another drink. And I said, Well, you sure? Because now this is forcing me to go get a drink, and I should get a drink. And then um he said they both laughed and said, No, it's fine. And I said, I feel guilty. Let me please buy you a drink. And after the third time they said no, I just said, Okay, thank you very much, and sorry that happened, and that was it.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

So was that before or after the slide climbing?

SPEAKER_00 30:50

That was after.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

After, yeah, this all happened in one trip.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Telling you, if I would have drank, I wouldn't have cared. But realistically, again, and he he only went for the cups because he likes to play with the bucket and the cups in the water.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Yeah, he wanted to fill the cup and dump it out.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

It's not like dad's always drinking and he has to pour dad's drink out because he gets too mean or something.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

He just wanted the clear pasta cup. To be fair, like we usually get a bungalow when we're there, and sometimes we get the bungalow with the hot tub, and we give him the clear cups to play with in the hot tub, so he saw the clear cup and just wanted to play in the water with it.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

Yeah. So realistically, it's on us. That's usually the problem. It's always us that does it. It's all the blame, all the blame comes to me.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Yeah, and Phil's alcoholic ways.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

Yeah. Well, Julia toned down as of late. It's been not fun. I gotta start getting back on the horse.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

You have to start drinking more because you haven't been fun.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Well, no, I mean, stuff like that just irritates me. Like, we went to the pool on Sunday, and the same thing happened. When that girl was like taking pictures, which I thought of Carson, I almost went over there and started to like to yell at her, and I was like, you know what? No, I'm not gonna it is what it is. We're gonna put it on.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

But like for what reason? Is she gonna track us down?

SPEAKER_00 31:54

And like No, it's it's the same bullshit you see on social media. Like, this kid walked over here and started splashing me, and I was just sitting here having my drink. That's what happened. That's why she then did she post it to Let me just explain the situation.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

So, cars, there's these little alcoves in on the side of our pool. There's three of them.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

I don't know what word you're using. What what is alcoves? Alcoves? What are alcoves? Like you know, hot tubs. Well, yeah, but they're like in Okay, continue.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Whatever. Now you're just making me like think I'm stupid. Anyway, I'm not thinking you're stupid. I'm never done jets for those. They're not a hot tub because it's not hot, but there's jets in there, and he likes to go and he likes to feel the jets, and he likes to, you know, splash around with his bucket. So he went over. Phil took him over so he can, you know, feel the jets, and then he started walking like towards the lady. Phil tried to stop him, he splashed the lady, whatever. So we immediately, Phil immediately apologized. We immediately took Carson back to the middle of the pool where I was, and you could see that Carson was visibly upset. He was having like a meltdown in the pool. So, what did we do? We took him to his wagon to get him, you know, to calm down, sat him in his wagon. He was not happy about it at first, got him a snack, got him a drink, he calmed down, and then we ended up leaving. So we did everything that we could have done. So I don't understand why, you know, if she took pictures and was like upset about it, then let her be upset. But we're not gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

I don't care that she did. I just but that's just what happens. Like they they do it and they post their friends. I'm just trying to sit here and have my drink. And uh like I've been to the pool plenty of times and kids splash me and I'm holding a drink. I don't fucking get mad at the kids. It's not the kids' fault. The kids are just being kids.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

And maybe you don't have like electronics by the pool then.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

Yeah, that's not waterproof. Get your phone out of the phone, get your earbuds out and get your get your phone somewhere else, and then if you don't want to get splashed your hair wet, go sit somewhere else. I don't know. That's but anyway, that's not really what I was gonna talk to you about tonight.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

But no, it's just stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

It's just stuff like this vision. Well, no, I just it's it's the awkward situations of what happens all the time when we go out, and it's like it it just you know I notice it a lot more when I just uh when I'm you know caught in the moment of doing something else, and then I'd like I was just playing catch with Nolan, nothing new, and then I just see Carson kind of upset because he wanted to go over there and splash. So I try to help out the situation, and it just of course it sometimes when he when when Carson is in that mood, he can get what he wants and he's still gonna be upset because it's still not to his what he's asking us to do, and or he's telling you what he wants, but he's not we don't understand it fully.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

So or we do understand it, it's just not the appropriate time for it.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

And he doesn't understand that.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Or he's hangry. Which in that case he was, because once he had some snack, he was actually pretty much d back to normal.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

Yeah, then we just ended up leaving anyway, I think uh. Yeah, it was late.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

It was Sunday, it was Sunday afternoon, and I, you know, or late afternoon, it was like almost evening. Um Yeah. I think it was like seven o'clock, it was late. Come to think of it. So um yeah, I mean, there's just gonna be more of that. I just I don't know. I care a lot less when I'm drinking. That's all my that's that was the whole point of my what I was bringing up. So actually, and again, maybe maybe maybe that wasn't the best situation because I would I would have probably said something because I was she was clear to me, like it looks like she had like her phone pointed up and looking at Carson. So anyway, I'm over that. That's done. Uh yeah, we gotta figure out the school situation stuff. That's that's the next goal, and then this ABA end of the day stuff, and I mean we still have time for that. Well, you not as much time as you think. I mean, it's by the time you know it, summer's gonna be over, and then it's back to knowing the school, and then it's just stress of thinking about it, so it's like you better just get ahead of it and start doing it now.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

So that way we can play the long game. We've started.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

Yeah, and the AC broke upstairs, so that's fun.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Oh yeah, it's hot up there. It's like 76 degrees up there.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

That's too hot.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Yeah. It was just pumping heat earlier today while I was sitting in the media room with Mackie. And Nolan's room is like a sauna, because his room is hot anyway, and then no AC, it's even worse.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Yeah. Well anything ex anything new and exciting we don't talk about? I'm gonna ask you again. Anything else you want to bring up? Anything fun?

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Um, nothing. Hard hitting. I like it. I know. I I bring the you know the excitement over here.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Okay. Well, we're gonna get some more guests on here. If not, we're just gonna keep keep talking about um our experiences. Yeah, because I uh I don't know, it's hard to chase down people. And I know people like they always say they want to do it or this and that, and that's fine. And I'd welcome anybody who wants to come on, but schedule doesn't work, or they get cold feet or something like that. So that kind of was part of the delay too. Um I was kind of pacing myself waiting for more people who want to do it, um, and it didn't really work out. So um yeah, we'll just continue to talk about this as many times as we want and keep it going. And I'll just keep on the Instagram sharing all the goods, bads, and ugly stories that I see. Um just to just to just to advocate and educate and share. Everyone needs to have their stories. So uh thank you guys all for listening. Thank you for all your time. Thank you. Yeah, and uh cheers, everybody. Thank you.