Cross My Heart with Hannah Beck

"Lesbians Will Survive the End Times" with Olyvia Dibsie | Cross My Heart Episode 7

• Season 1 • Episode 7

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0:00 | 43:54

My straightest friend is here and I have so many questions. Olyvia is a Chicago stand-up comedian, fantastic friend, and the only person I know who is not even a little bit gay. We talk about my recent social faux pas with a celebrity,  why evil boyfriends don't deserve to go to Europe, medication shame, writing a TV show, and why lesbians will survive the end times. 

Follow Olyvia @olyviadibsie on Instagram and @im.lyving on TikTok!

Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. 

New episodes every Monday. Comment, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Known for her viral "Tube top" video and "Dear Daddy God" diary series on TikTok, Hannah dives deep into the messy but beautiful reality of growing up queer in the Midwest.

Keywords: Hannah Beck, Cross My Heart podcast, Chicago comedy, gay podcast, lesbian podcast, TikTok comedian, Dear Daddy God, religious trauma, ex-evangelical, queer comedy, Midwest LGBTQ, Caleb Hearon fans, So true Podcast Brittany Broski, Broski Report with Brittany broski, comfort creator, coming out stories, Christian deconstruction, mental health, therapy podcast, chosen family, lesbian dating, stand-up comedy, viral TikTok, queer, podcast launch, hannah beck gay best friend, straight ally, queer best friend, female friendship, women in comedy, Chicago stand-up, Olyvia Dibsie

Chapters: 

0:00 Lesbians Will Survive the End Times

0:36 Intro + Evil Boyfriends Don't Deserve to Go to Europe

3:11 Roses & Thorns

5:30 Thorns: Doom Scrolling, Lesbians Will Survive & the Steak 'n Shake Incident

14:43 Bud: Comedy Goals & New York 

15:24 What Are You Starting a Cult For? (Flowers for Everyone)

19:13 What Are You Starting a Cult For? (I'm Writing a TV Show)

25:31 Forgive Me, But: Medication = Mario Kart

29:27 Forgive Me, But: Pink Whitney & Dating Athletes

32:52 Studying the Straight Experience

34:50 Confessional


Cross My Heart is hosted by Hannah Beck. Follow @hannahbeckcomedy on TikTok and Instagram. New episodes every Monday. Rate, review, and tell your gay friends 🖤

Lesbians Will Survive the End Times | Cross My Heart Episode 7

SPEAKER_04

I think the lesbians are gonna do so much better when the end times come because you have skills.

Intro + Evil Boyfriends Don't Deserve to Go to Europe

SPEAKER_03

Well, not only am I a lesbian, but I was raised in the Fundamentalist Christian Church. Which means that I have a really rigorous wife training. Yes. I can bake bread, I can sew close, I can make quilts, I can garden. I was literally trained for like apocalyptic war times with no technology. Like I feel extremely equipped for the war. So if you need help, you can join my commune and I can help you. Thank God. I'll feed you. I'm so happy to have you on my podcast today. I'm so happy to be here. You look so beautiful. Oh, thank you. Two girls in a room. They might kiss. They might kiss. Um, no, just kidding. You're in love. I wouldn't kiss you. I am in love, yeah. But she has a she has a boyfriend. When my friends that are straight get boyfriends, they have to really earn my trust and love and respect. And so far he's done a really good job. He has. I don't say nice things about people's boyfriends most of the time.

SPEAKER_04

Which is understandable.

SPEAKER_03

Which is typically correct. I was thinking about this the other day, like the fact that so many of my straight friends have horrendous boyfriends.

SPEAKER_04

And you've had historically, I have had horrendous boyfriends.

SPEAKER_03

So and I do you can you speak to the straight female mindset? Um, why are they doing that?

SPEAKER_04

Because women are conditioned to believe that they don't deserve nice things.

SPEAKER_03

Do you think that's why you were was it like kind of like self-harm or like you didn't think you could do better? Didn't think I could do better. Didn't think I could do better. Because you're really hot and cool and smart and funny.

unknown

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03

That's helpful context because I don't know how to speak to my friends who are in terrible relationships with men.

SPEAKER_04

No, it's because they don't believe that they deserve anything better than that. So it's like an internal work thing. It is an internal work thing. Um and then of course, like women feel that about themselves so often, and then evil men come around and like pile on to that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. That's so interesting. Because I right now it's just pissing me off because my friends want to take their evil boyfriends on vacation. And I don't I don't like want evil boyfriends to go on vacation with me. Don't ew. Don't invite your boyfriends on vacation. Hey, they don't deserve to go to Europe. Okay, but can I tell you a secret? Yeah. With lesbians, it's kind of tough because with women, everything is a girls' trip if everyone's a lesbian. Yep. So my friends can get in relationships with lesbians that I don't really like that much. And then they'll be like, let's all go on a bachelorette trip together, or like, let's go all go this place together. Um, girls' trip, but it's like you can't make a boundary to keep them off the trip. Like if it's straight people, you can say, Oh, no boys allowed. Like we're just doing a girls' weekend. Yeah. But you can't do that when it's lesbians.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, how do you deal with that?

Roses & Thorns

SPEAKER_03

Do you just have they just have to be there? There's no, I would never say anything. I like also I currently love all of my friends' partners, but I've had that situation in the past where it's like, I don't want to hang out with your girlfriend, but you can't say that because it's just girls, and women are nice to each other, so we just like would never make that distinguished that distinguishment. Is that a word? Distinct distinction. I would never make that distinction. My first segment is called Roses and Thorns. Okay. It's a classic youth group activity. Yep. Did you do this as a kid? Were you a youth group?

SPEAKER_04

No. But at my my job, we do high low buffalo. What's buffalo? I it's just it's like bud.

SPEAKER_03

Like what's coming up?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like what are you excited about in the future? Why is it called Buffalo? I don't know. Do you want to do we can call it that? And you can pretend like you're out of the corporate office. Stupid idea. Let's circle back and do high low buffalo. If if I was getting paid money to go to a corporate office today and they said everyone share their high low and buffalo of the day, I would think some very dark thoughts. That's insane. I don't think you could pay me enough to do that. So Rosebud Thorne.

SPEAKER_04

So what's your high for the week, Olivia? My high for the week was last night was I did a guest spot on a show. Huge. At Lincoln Lodge. And it was just the most fun, most amazing crowd that I've been around in a while.

SPEAKER_03

That makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_04

They were just so giggly. You could say or do anything, and at least one person would laugh.

SPEAKER_03

I love that feeling when you can just like riff and be stupid. You could be like, I just shaved my labia, and they would be like, Ah! Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You're so funny.

Thorns: Doom Scrolling, Lesbians Will Survive & the Steak 'n Shake Incident

SPEAKER_03

Really good show. An electric audience. Electric audience. It's always so fun to have a great crowd, so that makes me really happy. Yeah, it was awesome. Yay! My rose for the week. I had a pretty good week. I think that the last like six months or so I spent really locked into going to open mics and doing stand-up comedy and going to shows and doing like 20 shows in a month or something like that, which was insane mentally. And I got really burnt out. And I love the stand-up comedy community in Chicago. It's like one of the best things in the whole world. But I've been really intentional about investing time into friendships outside of that, also. Because I think if stand-up is your whole world, it can also get harder to write jokes because it's like all I'm doing is stand-up comedy. And that's like how we get airplane jokes, right? Stand-ups are writing jokes because they're on tour, so they're writing jokes about airplanes because that's all they do. And it's I'm trying to be like a real person right now, and so then when I get in that phase where I'm like writing my new hour, finishing it, I have material to pull from, if that makes sense. Yeah. So I've just been spending time with friends and I've had like birthday parties and some like fun events happening at like gay bars in Chicago. Yeah, I've just been going out with my friends and having a ton of fun, so that's probably my highlight. What would you say your thorn is for the week? I would choose just one. Um you can have multiple bad things. It's okay to have a bad week. I think that the people appreciate you being earnest about your current state in life.

SPEAKER_04

My thorn is time spent on social media recently and doom scrolling before bed. I mean, I think the state of the world is concerning to me. And the really fun dynamic that Mark Zuckerberg and I have is that he loves to show me doomsday prepping videos.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no. I've gotten those before. The ads that I get on TikTok are like, did you know that the power grid is gonna go down? You need this crank-powered flashlight that will also charge your phone and is a generator.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-huh. Yeah. And it's really not good. I'm starting to think like, oh my God, I don't own property.

SPEAKER_03

I don't have a bunker.

SPEAKER_04

I have no skills. I don't have a well. I can't knit. I can knit. I can change. Or so. Thank God. I'll make your clothes in the end times. And you know what my theory is? What? I think the lesbians are gonna do so much better when the end times come because you have skills.

SPEAKER_03

Well, not only am I a lesbian, but I was raised in the fundamentals Christian Church. Which means that I have a really rigorous wife training. Yes. I can make I can bake bread, I can sew close, I can make quilts, I can garden, I can cook dinner. I was literally trained for like apocalyptic war times with no technology. Like I feel extremely equipped for the war. So if you need help, you can join my commune and I can help you.

SPEAKER_04

And thank God. I'll feed you. Um, as previously mentioned, Zucky is being unkind to me. Don't call him that.

SPEAKER_03

You have a nickname. He's your poopy.

SPEAKER_04

Zucky Bear, I need to put my phone down, please. And that worked. And I'll never touch my phone again. And thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03

Matthew, my roommate, if you were not aware, will put a screen time password on my phone and not let me on it after 11 p.m. And I would highly recommend doing that with your living gay guy. That's such a good idea. I think so. Like put him to work. I put gay men to work. That's my platform for 2026. Make gay men do more stuff. They traditionally make the most money out of any group of any sexuality of people. Is that for real? Yeah, they have like a higher income earning potential than other couples because it's two men. They're the wealthiest of us all. They do paupers, they go to the club. They don't have to get married until they're 40 and everyone's fine with that.

SPEAKER_04

And their divorce rate is the lowest.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm. Women have to go through life thinking that they're always behind, but gay guys are just sort of like letting life happen to them and it's perfect. So I think we should make them do stuff. This podcast has become so homophobic all of a sudden. And I think that's fine.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I've always said that.

SPEAKER_03

I think that's part of what my intention was behind this podcast was sort of to like spread a message of homophobia, um, queer phobia. Yeah. Sort of my least my least favorite things are gay people. So I'm gonna get you canceled. That's my goal with you on this podcast. Olivia's Olivia's not gay, and she loves gay people.

SPEAKER_04

I do. I love them so much. Have you ever like wondered if you were gay?

SPEAKER_03

I assume that for everyone it's a passing thought sometimes to be like.

SPEAKER_04

I would say it was right around like when I was going through puberty. I'd never thought of anything sexually really ever up until that point, because you're not wired to think that way when you're young. Uh and so then when I hit puberty, I think it was kind of like I I knew about gay people. There's probably a week of time where I was like, oh my god, like, is that me? I was just like, oh my god, sexuality is a thing. Also, am I gay? And then just like all the thoughts at the same time. And I haven't I have not been with a woman, but I think probably just because I didn't seek it out.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you don't have to, you know. What if that was my platform? Is that everyone has to be gay? And it has to be me. And that's what I've always said to me and the people that were around me and with me. And got it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. So when are they having sex then?

SPEAKER_03

I hate this. I hate it so much. Okay, so you you started it. I know. And I couldn't hang.

SPEAKER_04

Are you friend zoning me right now? I'm I think I am. But that hurts my feelings.

SPEAKER_03

Typically, when I think about people in my life, I like to think that everyone's a little bit gay. Like I like to think that most people are a little bit heterosexual. I don't think that about you.

SPEAKER_04

Why is that offensive?

SPEAKER_03

Why is it offensive? I think that you're very straight. Would you agree? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think No, because in my mind, like so many of the people that I love the most are queer in some way. And I also like think of them also as just the coolest people in the world. Yeah. And that's and we'll never be cool.

SPEAKER_03

I think that being vouched for by gay people is a huge win for you, though. I think that's a badge of honor. Yeah. I'm happy to have you. I like to learn from you in an anthropological way. I think your experiment. I think I'm fascinated by the straight experience. As a kid, I never understood it. I was performing being straight, and I like never really understood the mind of a straight person. Yeah. So it's like nice to hear you talk about dating and relationships. Yeah. Like, huh, that's what they're doing over there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

What's my thorn? I honestly had like, oh my God. What? Okay. I met a famous person and I did a social faux pas with this famous person that I am humiliated by. I'm gonna say his name, but I might bleep it. Okay. Um, I met Tommy Brennan from SNL. Oh yes, you told me.

SPEAKER_04

So first of all, you lied because you told me that went really well.

SPEAKER_03

What'd you do? I said it was really fun. We really hit it off. He's very nice, he's a very talented stand-up comedian. You told me he was short. So hey, that I can't put on the podcast a little bit. Okay, then don't. Cut it. I think cut it. Okay. I think as I've met more people that work in a performing industry, I've realized that they are shorter than I thought. And I think people have no, and I mean that with love. Like if everyone's like 5'3 on a screen, I can't tell who's tall or short.

SPEAKER_04

Did you know that for a high school musical, Zach Efron, he's only like 5'8 or something like that? Are you serious? Yeah. And so for the basketball team, they purposefully cast only short people so that it looked like they were all tall. Isn't that hilarious? That makes sense though.

SPEAKER_03

Like that's what I'm saying is I'll see someone on my screen and I'll assume that they're very tall and then I'll meet them in person on it. It's like, oh, we're the same height. Like, or oh, you're shorter than me. And it's that's been like the most jarring thing about meeting people, I guess that I've seen on my TV before. Is like, oh, you're small. I think I grew up in the Midwest, and everyone is tall here. Like corners. Everyone in my like rural town. I was never the tallest one in my class. I'm 5'10. Wow. And I know multiple women that are taller, like multiple women that are like six foot or taller.

SPEAKER_04

I was literally the second tallest on the basketball team.

SPEAKER_03

Here Matthew is really tall. He's like six foot, six one. And in our hometown, he's probably like one of the shorter guys at my high school. Wow. We just grew up with really tall people. So when I met Tommy, he was a little bit shorter than I was expecting. But anyway, I met him and he was very nice, very funny. And he was telling me about the tour that he was going on. And he said, I'm staying in all these hotels that are a franchise, so they all look the same. Like the inside of the hotel, same decorations on the walls, same couch in the same spot, bed in the same spot. Like can walk into anyone in America and it all looks the same. So he's like, I could be in Raleigh and it would look like I was in Maine or Chicago and I'm like getting turned around. Because with the tour schedule, I always feel like I'm in a different city than I am. Because you could walk into any hotel in America and it would look exactly the same. And I say, Oh my god, that's just like stake and shake.

SPEAKER_04

First of all, they don't have those everywhere. That is just a here thing. And guess what? I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_03

I'm dying. Until I told him. Uh-huh. He sort of just he looks at me with pause. Yeah. I think he had empathy for me in that moment. I think he knew. And he just goes, Oh, I wouldn't know. And then and then turns around and looks away. Another comedian was with me at that time and said, Did Hannah, did you just tell Tommy Brennan that his tour schedule is kind of like steak and shake? And I said, Yes. Yep. Yep. I did say that. Yeah. Um, and I I have been thinking about it every day since. Yeah. Um, feeling a little bit sick about that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. How many steak and shakes were there in your hometown?

SPEAKER_03

Two. How many steak and shakes were in your hometown? Absolutely zero. You didn't. I didn't I thought steak and shake was everywhere. No. So that's really cool. Um, please comment on this if you know what steak and shake is. Thank you. But yeah, he had no idea what I was talking about. So that's probably my thorn of the week is sitting with public embarrassment, I think. I don't think that's that bad. Thank you. He's from the Midwest. I feel like he has to know.

SPEAKER_04

No, there's no steak and shake. He's from Minnesota. Yeah. No steak and shake in Minnesota. That's that's nuts. Culver's exists out there, which I know you also know about. I love culvers. Yeah. Get me to a culverse.

Bud: Comedy Goals & New York Dreams

SPEAKER_03

Should we get culvers after this? Matthew? Do you want culvers after this?

SPEAKER_04

What are you looking forward to? What's your bud? That's a good question. I have uh been making a larger effort to write jokes and to be present and invest in the comedy community. I love certainly.

What Are You Starting a Cult For? (Flowers for Everyone)

SPEAKER_03

Um so I'm I'm looking forward to that. That makes me so happy. Yeah. My bud is probably I don't know, I have a lot of fun stuff coming up. My birthday's at the end of the month, and I'm having a big birthday party, and I'm really excited. I'm going to New York the last weekend in April, and I'm filming a podcast with someone that I'm not gonna name here, but that I'm really excited about. Yeah. And then I get to do some shows, and New York City is my favorite place in the whole wide world. Yeah. And I'm gonna have fun and I'm gonna try really hard to resist the urge to move there. Okay, my next segment is called What Are You Starting a Cult for? Okay. And I want you to tell me something that you're obsessed with in a positive way. Okay. Olivia? What are you starting a cult for? Flowers for everyone. Flowers for everyone. That's so beautiful and wholesome. Oh my god. Okay. Last week mine was Hickeys, I think. So this is. Okay What? So this is really wholesome. No, love it.

SPEAKER_04

Anyway. Anyway, flowers for all. I think I've been conditioned to think that flowers are something you give romantically only, and only women receive flowers. Yeah. And I don't want them to be that for me or for everyone. Yeah. And part of the reason I started thinking this is my boyfriend loves to give flowers. Yeah. And then I started thinking, like, oh, it makes me feel so good when he gives me flowers. I could give him some flowers. Yeah. And so I did. For Valentine's Day, I made a bouquet. Aww. And then I started thinking, like, well, he doesn't have to be the only recipient of flowers. Like, what if I did it for my friends? Yes for fun.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think I've ever received flowers.

SPEAKER_04

What?

SPEAKER_03

I think not in like years. Like I Matthew brought me flowers once at the musical in high school when he came to see me in the musical. Yeah. Obviously, because he was a really good boyfriend. Obviously. And in I think I've never gotten flowers romantically, is what I'm trying to say. Okay. But getting flowers from a friend would also be very sweet as well. Take notes. Hey ladies. Hey.

SPEAKER_04

Hey. If you're gonna date my friend, buy her flowers. Thank you. Or I will.

SPEAKER_03

I'm clipping that for TikTok. Perfect. Just that's how I'm trying to find a wife. People on Hinge are swiping up and they're saying, Hey Daddy God Girl. Hate. Um, which I hate, but it does mean that the people that I'm reaching are people that I could be dating on a hinge. Oh. And so if you have messages for them.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not matching them. No, I'm not matching with people that know she said, Hey, I've been perceived too much.

SPEAKER_03

No, I think it's like like if people reach out and they know my stuff, I think that's totally fine and understandable. But I think there's with the most recent situation I was in romantically, it proved to be a little bit complicated where I think that she felt like she knew me a little bit more intimately because she had watched all my content online, which is so cool, and I'm really grateful for that. And she's a very cool person, but I never felt like I knew her as deeply as she knew me, because I'm I'm like sharing all my deepest, darkest secrets on the internet.

SPEAKER_04

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_03

And so it felt like I think she thought we were in a more intimate place than I did, and it was no one's fault. It was just like she knows all about my childhood and about my parents and about like all these secrets that normally you would kind of save for someone else, but I am freely sharing them on the internet.com, which is like my fault, I guess. But it was it was an interesting dynamic that I don't think I'd like to repeat again.

SPEAKER_04

That's really interesting.

SPEAKER_03

Like, I'm not saying she thought that she knew me better in a way that like she did anything wrong, but I think that she had a different assumption of our level of intimacy emotionally because she knew my content, so I'm not really looking to date someone that knows about me from online.

SPEAKER_04

Um or do a Lana Lana Del Rey thing where she just found a date a Republican.

SPEAKER_03

No, marry a Republican. It was my biggest dream as a child was to marry a Republican. Uh well I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, I'm not saying Republican, I'm just saying like chronically offline type of person.

SPEAKER_03

I'm kidding. I'm not I'm not gonna date a Republican. That doesn't align with my spirit. Yeah, looking for someone that doesn't have access to the internet, probably ideally. Yeah that does not have if I meet someone and they don't have social media, it's such a green flag to me. Yeah. That's like that's what I'm seeking.

SPEAKER_04

No, I th I agree though. That's you need the opposite.

What Are You Starting a Cult For? (I'm Writing a TV Show)

SPEAKER_03

If you have any friends that aren't on the internet, let me know. My my I'm starting on cult for is a little bit silly, but I'm starting a cult for watching television.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Wait, that's not lame, I love TV.

SPEAKER_03

Here's the thing. Okay. I have a screen time addiction, as do you. Yep. And I am trying to slowly train myself back up to having an attention span.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And so going from seven to thirty-second videos to a 30-minute television show with no phone is genuinely an improvement in my attention span. Wow. And is that a really low bar? Absolutely. Would you gotta start somewhere though? Would my ancestors be humiliated at my attention span? Certainly. But I do think it's a step in the right direction.

SPEAKER_04

And also, baby girl, we're products of our environment.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so it's actually not even my fault.

SPEAKER_04

Actually, actually, I did nothing wrong. And I think to build on that, it should be like older TV, if that makes sense. Because a lot of TV these days is written for like the two-screen rule.

SPEAKER_03

Can you tell the people what the two-screen rule is? Because not everyone knows.

SPEAKER_04

So a lot of shows are written today in mind that people will be on their phone while they're watching TV. So scripts are kind of dumbed down and the dialogue is very obvious.

SPEAKER_03

I noticed that with the way that people will say like first names of other characters really often, or they'll be like, Oh no, Olivia, I've just broken up with my boyfriend, and now I don't know what to do. They'll repeat the plot over and over again, so then if you weren't paying attention, you can pick back up at any point. And it's like not good TV.

SPEAKER_04

So I've noticed with some of my favorite shows that maybe started even before COVID, so before 2020, were really good when they started off, and I've watched them get worse.

SPEAKER_03

Do you have an example?

SPEAKER_04

Ted Lasso, a little bit. Really? Yeah. I loved that show a lot, and I felt like the third season was kind of less clever than the first two.

SPEAKER_03

You feel like they made edits to make it more palatable to people that weren't paying attention? Yeah. That's hard. I hate when TV shows go downhill at the end. I am watching a bunch of TV shows right now because I'm working on my pilot. Did I tell you about that? No. I'm writing a TV show. What? Okay. I'm writing a TV show based on like my diary entries. Yeah. And I'm working on it right now, and so I'm watching as many old pilots as I can and reading the transcripts just to kind of figure out how the hell to write a TV script because I've written sketches a lot, but I've never written TV TV before. Yeah. There's there's a few pilots that I've seen lately that I just I are so aspirational to me. Um I rewatched, I know this is a streaming show, but overcompensating is a fantastic show. And the pilot of that, Kimmy Schmidt.

SPEAKER_04

Do you want it to be a comedy?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I I there's like a a lot of heart to it in the way that like Shits Creek would have like there's a there's a center theme of like growth and change that I Think is inherently not comedic, but I think you can do both.

SPEAKER_04

I think that's one of the best modern examples that we have.

SPEAKER_03

Shits Creek is such a good show. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Of a show that so perfectly balances comedy and then but also very real things just because the the characters are written to be so incredibly quirky.

SPEAKER_03

When I think about Shits Creek, the thing that I'm obsessed with from a TV writing perspective that I look up to so much is the relationships between between the characters. It feels like there was so much thought put into the relationships between the characters. And I think the the whole thing about the show that I'm working on is it does center around like the relationships that I had that brought me to change my mind about a lot of stuff, including my college roommate Avery. And that's like the center relationship of the show. And so I really look up to the shows where that core relationship between two people is why you keep watching. I feel the same way about Gilmore Girls as well. Like just some shows where even if the setting was different or the plot was a little bit different, like the way that these people interact with each other, the dialogue is like so heartwarming that you just have to keep watching. It's so compelling.

SPEAKER_04

So here's a question for you. Yeah. I feel like of the examples you named, I know for a fact that Shits Creek has the basically the entire Levy family as part of it. And also Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara that have like such a rich history together as friends and co-actors. And then with overcompensating, you have Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone. So would you bring in someone that has been with you through it all to like help build that narrative?

SPEAKER_03

I have friends helping me co-write the show, and then ideally I would cast my friends. I think that's just what I think is so I guess studios want to buy shows by and for famous people, and they don't like taking risks. They need to have proof that people will like it, so that's why they like keep remaking shit. Is because well, we don't want to take a risk on a new thing, but we know that people like the show from the 90s, so we're gonna make it again. Yeah, and we're gonna cast the most famous people in the world. But it's like the reason that a show is good is because of the natural chemistry of the cast and because of really good writing. So that's why I think shows like Heated Rivalry popped off so much. Yeah, is because it's a unique story that had not been done before on television, and the actors had amazing chemistry, and they were both completely unknown actors.

SPEAKER_04

They were both working in restaurants.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly. It's so hard to get this made. So we'll see what happens. But I want to make something that is like really rooted in the relationships between people. Yeah, I want to r tell my story in the way that I want to, which includes like telling the story with and for and by me and my friends.

SPEAKER_04

I believe in this, first of all. Let me say that because I believe in you for everything. But I also overcompensating has showed us that this can happen, right? We've seen that two people with a platform can make that happen and cast themselves in it and then bring in and their friends and and just bring in and just do whatever they want. And every really successful show loved it, and they immediately got renewed for a second season. So I think it could happen.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I'm just trying to write something that's like really fun and really heartwarming and honest. And I think I think it'll be fun. I think it'll be good.

SPEAKER_04

It'd be so fun. Well, I can't wait to see it.

SPEAKER_03

I'm having a dream where in three or four years I clip this podcast scene, and then it's like this show's coming out, and then and then we clip this, and then we're like, guys, she made a show.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. I can't tell you how happy that would make me. Oh my god. I would be so excited. That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_03

So that's really fun. Yeah. That was my starting cult for. Yeah, I'm starting a cult for TV.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

Forgive Me, But: Medication = Mario Kart

SPEAKER_03

Writing it, watching it, yeah. Getting off your phone and spending more time interacting with media. And I needed to hear that. My next segment is called Forgive Me But. And you're gonna tell me a hot take in the format of forgive me but hot take.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Forgive me, but. I think that all psychological medications. Stop. Whatever you're about to say. What is your take on psychological medications, please? Can be accurately compared to a power-up in Mario Kart. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I have at least six questions, but I'd like you to say more.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. As you know, I'm it's it's about time for me to start some anxiety medication. And I've been carrying a lot of shame about that because I think it feels like I should be able to do it myself. Okay. And my friends don't really understand that. Yeah, because that's dumb and not true. Well, yes, and I agree. Okay. But I can't get over it. That's fair. And so they were they were giving me the whole like, well, you wouldn't tell a diabetic not to take insulin. Whatever. I'm I I this type of medicine should not be stigmatized. I know that in my heart. And I am like, I don't hold anything against people that do go on medication, and I'm proud of them and happy for them. But when it comes to myself, like I feel ashamed. And that's really sad. And I was like trying to explain why I feel that way. And I was just thinking about Mario Kart. I was like, you know, in Mario Kart, and you're in last place, yes, and you like hit a power-up box, and because you're in last place, you get the bullet bill. And the bullet bill takes you all the way to the front, like you cheat it.

SPEAKER_03

You feel like taking anxiety medication would be cheating at what? Mental wellness. Yes. You feel like you would be you would be unfairly advantaged mentally if you took prescription anxiety medication.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I think I got a text from you recently that said, Hey, just wanted you to know that I thought I had cancer, but I went to the doctor and she said I didn't, so I'm fine. I think I've gotten that text from you multiple times. How often you are anxiety spiraling into perhaps the worst possible diagnoses or situations. And you and you think that taking anxiety medication would put you ahead of the rest?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I kind of there's I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03

I love you so bad. And I but I do think you probably should get medicated. How do you think that medication is like a power-up?

SPEAKER_04

So anxiety meds are bullet bowl. The star, Adderall.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

And that makes sense. That makes sense. Because it does wear off.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. But you go really fast while you're on it.

SPEAKER_04

Yep. And everyone's jealous of you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, everyone's jealous of you. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Everyone wants it. Mushroom makes you grow temporarily. Uh-huh. Bluetooth. Stop.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Do you like that? Keep going. Okay. I'm sitting with it. The other mushroom that makes you smaller. Oh, okay. GLP ones. So we're net we've now evolved beyond just psychological medications. It's all medications. It's just medications. I like it. Do you like it?

SPEAKER_03

You think medication is cheating. You think medical intervention is cheating?

SPEAKER_04

No, no, no, no. Okay. Do you know why Mario Kart is the perfect analogy? Why? Though, is because I think a lot of us when we take medication, we feel like we're cheating and taking a shortcut. But that's also a part of the game. It's just part of it.

Forgive Me, But: Pink Whitney & Dating Athletes

SPEAKER_03

It's just an opportunity that's available to you, and if you need it, you can take it. Yeah. And sometimes if your doctor tells you you should take it, you should. Specifically, you specifically. Perhaps. When I went to the club last night, I had a picture of Pink Whitney.

SPEAKER_04

Forgive me, but what the fuck is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_03

You could not pay me to do that. My friend Caitlin bought it. It's me and two other friends. We're sharing the picture. Brings three straws. I take a sip of this pink drink and war flashbacks immediately. I'm vomiting in my mind. I'm sleeping on the bathroom floor in a college frat house.

SPEAKER_04

Uh yeah, same experience with pink.

SPEAKER_03

I'm sleeping on my bedroom floor. I'm having sex with men.

SPEAKER_04

Like lots of things are running through my mind, and it's it's very scary. Yeah, I was gonna say I never got to the having sex with men part um because I was throwing up too much every time I drank pink. Pink Winnie was my blackout drink, for sure. Yeah, I can't believe you drank the night after that. I'm actually impressed right now.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't really drink last night. We were at a sports bar watching a lesbian basketball game. Also, it was college women's sports game. Um I assume most of the people on the court were lesbians.

unknown

A lesbian sports bar.

SPEAKER_03

Lesbian sports bar. We were at a lesbian sports bar watching a women's basketball game. Which I assume is for lesbians.

SPEAKER_04

A good amount of them are. All college basketball players that are women are lesbian. Is that what you're forgetting about it?

SPEAKER_03

And I'm saying that if you're watching this and you could shoot me a DM on Instagram or something, I would really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god, wait, you should date an athlete. You start dating a a player on the Chicago Sky.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god. Does anyone know anyone on the Chicago Sky? And could we connect?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know them, know them. I know who's on the team.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, I'm gonna start going to Chicago Sky games and then vlogging it. If you guys see me vlogging me at women's sporting events, just know that it is with purpose and that I have a goal.

SPEAKER_04

No, I'm actually so obsessed with this idea.

SPEAKER_03

My type is typically women that look like they could like build a bench or play sports. Like that's yeah, typically who I find. I don't think I would talk about it.

SPEAKER_04

People would not know you were dating someone until two years into the relationship.

SPEAKER_03

I think I would do a tasteful hard launch at at least a year in. Yeah. A little bit of casual hand holding, like in an Instagram story, perhaps like the back of their head to soft launch. But I don't think it would be like me and my partner going on a date today vlog. And it's like fine that people do that. I just that that would not be a good idea. No, I'm just saying that's not spirit. Yeah. Watch me get a girlfriend and do exactly that. Watch me. Um that would be hilarious to me. So anyway, yeah. Athletes. Athletes and women that build furniture. I am here, I'm queer, and I'm ready to go on a date. I used to say that I don't have a type. Well and then Matthew sent me three photos in a row of the last three women that I had been with. And he said, You don't have a type. Wait, can I see them? Here's the last three women you were with that they all have the same face and body. Can I s can you send that to me so we can I'll show you. We'll look at it off camera. Yeah, they all look the same.

SPEAKER_04

Well, and I think your type has changed too, because it used to be like blonde women, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Used to be used to be, for sure.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so it used to be like just blonde women, now blonde jacked women.

SPEAKER_03

Not just blonde women. Um, my first gay awakening was The Ballet Teacher from The Game Plan. If you know that movie, I don't think I do. The Game Plan with Dwayne Johnson and so f uh okay, never mind. I am attracted to many women. I've been on dates with women that are all different. Like I don't have like a type with dating women, but the last three women that I've hooked up with have all looked strikingly similar to each other in a way that I did not know about myself. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna educate you on the straights right now. And thank you. I think that men think that most women are hot. Women do not think that most men are hot.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, how do you find one that you like? I got lucky. Like you thought he was hot? Immediately. Okay. So you you don't walk around looking at men thinking generally like super into that.

SPEAKER_04

No.

SPEAKER_03

That's also helpful knowledge because as a lesbian I also feel that way, but I thought it was just a gay thing.

SPEAKER_04

I and I especially don't know because I'm like one of the people that is like clouded by love, so I feel like my tunnel vision blinders are on, like it's it's the one person for me.

SPEAKER_03

It's him or nothing. Yeah. I also generally think that women have good personalities, and when I was dating men, uh-huh, I think that there's a higher chance that a man's personality would be bad. I think that's just true. But with women, first of all, I'm attracted to women, huge. Second of all, generally I assume that lots of women are good people and have good intentions, so it's like easier for me to allow myself to feel attracted to them because I don't have to wonder if they're deeply evil. Is that mean to men? A little.

SPEAKER_04

A little.

SPEAKER_03

That's not illegal.

SPEAKER_04

Well, no, that's not illegal. Also, it's it's the whole the man or the bear thing. There's a lot of men that are physically threatening to women. So we're we're just engineered to try and protect ourselves a little bit more now. I will say recently, like, I think being in love has opened my eyes to like, okay, men are not all the worst. I have friends that are men. There are some good ones out there. I'll I'll give men that.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna cut that.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. And hey, forget I ever said that.

SPEAKER_03

I like some of them, I like a lot of them, but I want to stay away from being sort of like supportive of the male form.

SPEAKER_04

This podcast is Miss Andres.

Confessional

SPEAKER_03

It's yeah, that's it would be pretty off-brand for me to keep that in. So I hope you understand. Um, obviously. Thank you. I have one last segment for you, and it's called Confessional. Yep. And it's sort of a rapid fire deep questions round. Okay. Juicy questions round. Yeah. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I'm so ready.

SPEAKER_03

What's something that you used to believe that you don't believe anymore?

SPEAKER_04

I I think I used to believe that we were like that we're headed for really dark times and it's outside of our control. But I've really been finding strength in like having hope and trying to change outcomes recently. That's beautiful. I don't think we have to just sit and let things happen to us.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I think you can see historical patterns and know the direction that someone that something's heading and still feel empowered to change it. Like just because you see signs that predict a certain future doesn't mean that that future is set in stone. Yeah. And I feel like sometimes we get a little bit, especially on the left, we get a little bit like doom and gloom. Doomsday, pessimistic. Um, and that just keeps us stagnant from like doing things that make a difference. So I completely agree with that. That's beautiful. What is your ideal last meal?

SPEAKER_04

I think it would be like a really loaded chicken shawarma wrap. Huge. Um, with a lot of garlic yogurt sauce and a really big plate of fries. Incredible. And more garlic yogurt sauce today.

SPEAKER_03

You love a garlic. You're a garlic girl. I love garlic. If you knew you had one day left on earth, what would your like perfect last day be?

SPEAKER_04

Well, if it's my last day, probably would get up kind of early. You know, because you want to enjoy it. Um, so get up, watch the sunrise. Huge. Drink coffee. The sunrise part would be like a hike, ideally. Okay. Uh, and then come back down, massive breakfast. Eat the most food you've ever had in your life. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a small nap. Okay. To digest. In this perfect day, it's like 60 degrees outside. And it's in the mountains. So morning hike, massive breakfast, nap, swim, hot tub. All my friends are there also. And then massive group dinner with grilling, preferably. Huge. And then we have drinks and play games. I love that night.

SPEAKER_03

Just hanging out with your people and being outside. That's a lovely last perfect day.

SPEAKER_04

Isn't it great? Wow.

SPEAKER_03

Do you believe in God?

SPEAKER_04

Oh.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Most people answer like that, by the way.

SPEAKER_04

I grew up around Catholicism and I don't believe in I don't practice that religion. Okay. And I don't know if that's the version of God that I believe in. I do believe in spirituality and things that we can't explain.

SPEAKER_03

So I think you have a connection to other people that is beyond physical worlds. Is that kind of how you feel?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. And I and there are like miracles that we also can't explain either. I I'm not one to say that that doesn't exist in any form, but I don't gravitate towards organized religion.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I think a lot of people resonate with that. That makes a lot of sense to me. I I feel pretty aligned with that. I I believe a lot in like energy, which is a little bit woo-woo. But like I believe I hear you on that though. I believe in the energy that connects us all, and that I think here's what I think is that we're all at our core, not bodies. Like we're all like energy, and I think that's how I would qualify how what I believe spiritually is like what makes me me is not the body that I'm in. And I don't know what that is. I don't know if it's like a soul or a spirit or an energy or whatever, but I really resonate with that. Yeah, actually. In the spirit of Daddy God Diaries, what's something embarrassing that happened to you as a teen?

SPEAKER_04

Can it be sexual?

SPEAKER_03

Sexual preferred.

SPEAKER_04

Thank God. Uh okay. So I've been anxious all my life. Like right around 15, I started I would like throw up when anxious. Yeah. I know about this. Yeah, you do. Mom, please don't listen. Olivia's mom, it's time to turn off the TV. Please. And thanks. So when I had my first boyfriend at 15, he like really obviously wanted a blowjob.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think anyone's ever said the word blowjob on this podcast before. I think you're my first straight person. Oh my god. You're my first straight person.

SPEAKER_04

Conceptually, that was very anxiety-inducing to me, but I I decided to try.

SPEAKER_03

You were you were wanting to get your skills up.

SPEAKER_04

I was. I was wanting to develop skills. I, you know, at the time I really thought I loved him, and so I was like, you know, I want to give things to the person I love. Um the things being head. Yep, head. Just mind-blowing, life-changing Felatio. Uh I hate the word fellatio. Well, you said not blowjob, so I'm gonna-Feel sweaty. Keep going. Okay, so we were never also allowed to hang out on supervised.

SPEAKER_03

Well, yeah, because you would have given him a blowjob. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

We were in his backyard and he requested head. Under the night sky.

SPEAKER_03

Under the night sky. Were you just outside in the backyard together? Yeah. Were windows open? Like his parents, like could they have seen out the backyard and just seen you?

SPEAKER_04

Totally.

SPEAKER_03

Uh were you like under a bush or a tree? Or like literally just like middle of backyard?

SPEAKER_04

Uh well, this was San Diego, so there was a pool. Was it in the pool? Uh, he was like sitting on the side of the pool. Oh no. Okay. And I was like in the water. God, this is disgusting. Uh yeah, I know. So also like chlorine on it.

SPEAKER_03

No!

SPEAKER_04

And I started trying. Yeah. You got to work. And I was very nervous. So I stopped and started throwing up in the bushes. No. We had just eaten dinner, like steak and potatoes, big dinner. Uh it might have been the chlorine girl. Could have been. I actually threw up a lot in that relationship. I was very anxious about I was like the emotional connection, the opening myself up to being hurt and being vulnerable. And I think the best part about the relationship was the fact that he was his number one biggest fear was throwing up.

SPEAKER_03

You sort of exposure therapied him. I did. Yeah. So I was doing him a service. That's so funny. Yeah. That was very vulnerable and brave of you. Thank you. And you're so you're still not on anxiety meds?

SPEAKER_04

Ten years later.

SPEAKER_03

Ten years later. That's fascinating. The throwing up has it gotten better. Much. Yeah. This is the first time I've asked that question on this podcast. Yeah. And I think I'm gonna keep it because I do have a bit of a vulnerability hangover sometimes from like telling everyone all my secrets. Yeah. When you say daddy got on the internet more than 20 times, I would say that's about the line where it starts to make you feel sick. Um it's nice to make other people make other people share their secrets.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and I can share many secrets and stories about me actually getting sick.

SPEAKER_03

So when we have another episode called Olivia Returns, uh-huh. They're gonna get all of them. Can't even wait. I'm so excited. I have one more question for you. Okay. What are you working on? Like what goals are you working towards right now for the people to know? Such a good question.

SPEAKER_04

I would love to be in a place comedically where I feel like I'm writing weekly at least. Yeah. Um, some people do it daily. I can't do that. Me either. That's just not me. Um, but where I am like consistently coming up with new things and they don't all have to stick, but I'd like to be trying new stuff at least once a week. Yeah. So that's a goal of mine. And I would really I have an idea for a show that I'm obviously I'm gonna not share because it's my top secret. But I I would like to run a Chicago comedy show. I would like to have the first one debut this year, and I'd like it to at least be monthly because I think it's a good idea and a great way to meet people. And like I want to entertain, I want to make people laugh, and I think like having creative control over a show would be huge.

SPEAKER_03

I think you're an incredible, like with your friends, with like even like parties that you've thrown, I think you're a really incredible host in that aspect and like making people feel comfortable and loved and connecting people to others that they would get along with. And I think that if you ran a show, that energy would be palpable in the show that you run as well. I think you'd be an incredible host and producer of a show. And I'm really excited to see it.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you. Wow. Yeah, so this year I would love to do that. I cannot wait. That's so exciting. Thank you. Where can the people find you? The people can find me on Instagram for sure. It's just my name, Olivia Dibsey, O L Y V I A. I know, there's a Y. Uh D-I-B-S-I-E. No underscores cap anything like that. It's just my name. TikTok, I'm living. I uh I M L Y V I N G. Love. Which, yeah. I'm living on TikTok. Performing around Chicago and maybe other cities. Huge!

SPEAKER_03

Wow. Thank you so much for being on the podcast today. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_04

I love you so bad. I love you better. Ugh.

SPEAKER_03

Bye. Bye.