The Conversation Men Need To Hear Right Now | Ep. 6

This episode starts with laughs, random dad chaos, and stories that spiral completely off the rails—but quickly turns into one of the deepest conversations the podcast has had so far.

The guys sit down with Conrad Craft for an honest discussion about mental health, identity, pressure, purpose, and the hidden weight so many men carry in silence. From funny childhood stories to vulnerable conversations about burnout, depression, anxiety, and feeling lost, this episode dives into what happens when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would.

More importantly, it’s about hope. About showing up anyway. About learning that asking for help doesn’t make you weak—and that being a dad, husband, or man isn’t about pretending you’re okay all the time.

This one is real.

⏱️ Timestamps

0:00 – DadCo chaos begins 😂
2:00 – Embarrassing childhood stories
6:00 – Why men joke instead of opening up
10:00 – Feeling pressure to “have it all together”
14:00 – Mental health struggles nobody talks about
18:00 – Anxiety, burnout & emotional exhaustion
23:00 – What social media is doing to men
28:00 – The danger of isolation
32:00 – When life doesn’t go the way you planned
37:00 – Learning how to ask for help
42:00 – Fatherhood changing your perspective
46:00 – The fear of failing your family
50:00 – Finding purpose again
54:00 – Encouragement for men struggling silently
58:00 – Final thoughts + encouragement for dads

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:00

Vine. What's our um what's our sum? That's red. Red red. Everything's red. Yeah. Yeah. Astros are really good.

SPEAKER_06 0:27

Welcome to the Dakota podcast. Dude.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Right from the game, dude.

SPEAKER_06 0:39

That's so rude. Bro, I'm from I'm from the Missouri. Yeah. You already know. They've been sucking for like 25 years, bro. Well, hey.

SPEAKER_07 0:47

Which one?

SPEAKER_02 0:48

What what do you mean?

SPEAKER_07 0:51

There's two?

SPEAKER_02 0:52

That's how obvious it is they suck.

SPEAKER_07 0:54

What do you mean there's two? There's the Royals and there's the Cardinals.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

And both. First of all, the Royals shouldn't be a team anymore. They're like a little league team.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Somebody picked on.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

You can just let us sit. Let us sit. Hey, buddy. Listen. Good to see ya. Good to see ya.

SPEAKER_07 1:15

Y'all might notice another empty chair here.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

We got a treat today, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:20

And a glass that's full. It's both of mine, actually. Both of these are mine. Nah, just joking. Uh Thomas, what do we got tonight? What do we got today?

SPEAKER_01 1:29

We got one of my dearest friends. Let me tell you, a man of many talents. Uh, a man who knows his way around a lathe, you know what I'm saying? Um, he also is a magnificent fisherman, outdoorsman. Um, he can literally build anything. His last name is Kraft. So do that.

SPEAKER_07 1:45

Um you gotta be a creative to have Kraft as the last name.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

I think that's a great marketing scheme.

SPEAKER_07 1:52

It's a law, actually. Yeah, yeah. So state of Texas, that's a law.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

The last name is Kraft, you're a creative. You better craft something. Uh but one of my best friends. Straight the job. One of my best friends, uh, one of the closest uh friends I have, I want to introduce them, the lovely, the brilliant Conrad Kraft. Come on here. Noise. I wonder if I can find the coming through.

SPEAKER_06 2:18

What's up, Bubba? I found it first time. I just gave you a big applause. But you never heard that before, did you? Alright, where did my play? Here we go. There you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

But as he's getting set up, how are you doing, D? How is your day?

SPEAKER_07 2:32

Oh man. Day's been crazy. Yeah. Day has been insane. It would be uh work's crazy. Uh well, actually, work is not crazy. Uh we just had uh um uh somebody start uh at work that takes a whole lot of pressure off the entire staff. So pretty awesome. Pretty pretty freaking awesome. Next thing you know, they take their job.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

It's awesome.

SPEAKER_07 3:01

My week's good.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

My week's good.

SPEAKER_07 3:03

Actually, bro, it's it's kind of crazy. So uh they uh uh man, uh I mean I've been in and out of out of a lot of ministries, right? And uh I've never really had I've never really been somewhere. I was really afraid. So just just for perspective, y'all, I I am on staff at a at a church here in Magnolia, Texas, and um um before I took that job was terrified to go back into ministry because of a big story there. But man, they they just see a lot of uh pastoral ability and shepherdship in me and stuff, so pretty cool. They must be blind.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Okay, Conrad!

SPEAKER_08 3:45

Is it really that bad?

SPEAKER_02 3:46

It's really that bad.

SPEAKER_08 3:48

Okay. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Can you can you hear yourself if you're good?

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Yeah, I'm gonna do it. We did bike technology. Why?

SPEAKER_08 3:54

I can't hear you though.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

That's what I'm saying. I can't hear myself either. Can you hear?

SPEAKER_02 3:57

It's all good. We don't need it.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Yeah. Wow! Oh dude. Why does that happen? I don't know. I just hope I'm coming through. Otherwise, I'm just listening. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_07 4:06

Because I got all of you and me.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Is it showing up on the roadie?

SPEAKER_07 4:10

Uh it's showing up, okay. Then it's recording. No, it's definitely recording your audio. It's just weird that because you can't hear yourself. Well, why don't you crank him up in the air just a little bit? You know what?

SPEAKER_08 4:21

No, I can I can if I really listen hard, I think I can hear it. Yeah. So there is that better? I'm totally fine there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Sweet. You can hear Thomas now? Yes, you can hear me, dude. Yeah. It's you, you we need to turn down. Just joking. Love you, bro. Okay, boys, here you go. Dak ho episode, I don't know. And it's already been too long. I'll cheer as you. Love you, boys. Alright.

SPEAKER_07 4:45

Salute. So uh yeah. Thomas Wan kick things off. Let's do it, brother. What did I just say? King.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Kick things off.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Well, well, we were I briefly talked about the description a little bit, but comrade, would you mind just telling us a little bit about who you are, how many kids you have, how long you've been married, that kind of stuff, just real quick.

SPEAKER_08 5:08

Yeah, sure. So uh I've been married 15 years. Uh I've got a 14-year-old daughter, 12-year-old daughter, uh, one that's about to be five. Uh yeah, I've I think I've known you for close to a decade now.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Has it really been long?

SPEAKER_08 5:23

It's close to, yeah. Yeah, really, dude. Dustin, you know, came along after that at some point in time, but I haven't got to hang out with this guy as well as this is a treat.

SPEAKER_07 5:33

Yeah, straight, straight pup.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Um what are some of the things that you love doing? Because I honestly, people, I don't think you realize this. He's a master of many. Uh, and I just want to what are some of the favorite things you like to do on some of your free time?

SPEAKER_08 5:51

Uh well, lately it's been fishing. I've been a little bit addicted to fishing. You got me into it. Uh fishing is fishing is great because uh it's high reward, low investment, uh, as far as like when you're there. Yeah, you know, in the in the moment doing it. It could be a really big investment if you go as crazy about fishing as I have gone about fishing. Um my wife would attest to that too. So it's uh no, it's good, man. I you know, I grew up fishing, and uh uh one thing that um I realized about myself is that like I feel you know closest to the Lord whenever I'm out there on the river, and uh it's just a really great place to to unwind. Uh it's a great place to contemplate life, it's a great place to forget about a lot of you know difficult things and refocus on uh the important things. So it's good. It's good.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

And honestly, I we we just celebrated, can I say we just celebrated your 40th birthday. That's right. I'm gonna tell you something, what a fun time. That was great. Mostly because I cut all the fish, but yes. It it was such a blast, dude. Uh if you guys never get the experience to go hang out with your boys in the woods fishing and and attempting to hunt, um, it it is That was fun in its own way.

SPEAKER_08 7:06

It was fun, it was fun waking you up in your truck at 5 a.m. going, Thomas, are we doing this? Is it worked in your dog, bro? It was a rough night, but let's just say he started in the tent with me, he left for reasons we won't discuss. No, that gets weird. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

Snoring, dog, do you can snore? That's why. Let's not get crazy. What is happening?

SPEAKER_06 7:31

Thomas said, I'm not about that action. I'm gonna sleep in my truck.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

I gotta go to bed. No, it was so fun. We what up we we caught some bass. You caught a crappie, didn't you?

SPEAKER_08 7:40

Yeah, I cut crappie, you know, bluegill bass. Uh you speared a like a three-foot guard. Freaking guard. Yeah, buddy.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

Yeah, dude, that's what men do, you little sissy boy. You only know what it is.

SPEAKER_07 7:52

Don't do a wheelie on that 250.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

First of all, I'll do I'll do a wheelie. I'll crash.

SPEAKER_07 7:56

I'll do a wheelie brother.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

You will crash.

SPEAKER_07 7:59

You end up in a hospital.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

Or sure.

SPEAKER_07 8:01

Men do wheelies.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Which all right.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Let's not let's not get to that little bit. Um okay, so how how many kids do you have? Were there three.

SPEAKER_08 8:12

Three girls, man. I'm surrounded. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

I say that like I don't know. I'm saying it for the people.

SPEAKER_08 8:17

Uh and what are their ages? Uh 14, 12, and almost five. 12. Yeah. I'm working that out.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

We got a we got an inside bet. I'm not gonna say it on camera, but I'm trying to make some things happen, bro.

SPEAKER_08 8:29

You know, Thomas might have a 12-year-old son.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

So 11, but you know, it's good.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

More sort of me.

SPEAKER_08 8:35

Working things out there.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

I'm just saying, you're all funny beep.

SPEAKER_08 8:38

Let's just say there's a bar, and he's not there yet.

SPEAKER_07 8:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

That's fair.

SPEAKER_07 8:43

Hey, since y'all are talking about talking about that, I'm real, I'm real down for uh for uh community land. And I'm real down for that. You guys are doing something with with with that. We can also talk about compounds to get some compounds going.

SPEAKER_08 8:59

My baby, baby. Would you compound our compound?

SPEAKER_01 9:02

I mean we got a little uh we can start our own religion. Next thing you know, we're drinking some Kool-Aid with some t-shirts on our side.

SPEAKER_07 9:09

Shirt 100 acres doesn't sound so bad. I mean, just might run into each other every now and then. Be alright. Yo, this is how solid.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

This is a goofy religion starter. This right here. Let's just get a compound.

SPEAKER_07 9:24

Waco, Waco Part 2. Yikes. Yikes.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

That's literally too close to home, but oh that's fine.

SPEAKER_08 9:31

Probably some cheap land out there though. Oh, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_07 9:33

There is cheap land.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

I bet you get that compound pretty cheap.

SPEAKER_07 9:36

Especially in Riesel. You know where Riesel's at? Cheap land in Riesel.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Have you been looking at land, dude? What are you doing? You're trying to move away from me?

SPEAKER_08 9:45

I'm looking at land, bro. For what? Guy's serious about this thing, man. He's just looking for the right people. He wants the compounds.

SPEAKER_07 9:51

I'm a little scared. When you look for land local, obviously you're gonna search a little more broad, too. It's like, well, Waco's not that far.

SPEAKER_06 10:01

It's a little far, but what's a hundred acres in Waco, you know? What's Lubbock? It's just yeah, what's Lubbock, dude? Let's drive Lubbock. Let's go to Tennessee.

SPEAKER_07 10:09

Eight hours and nothing for the for a little bit of fun on that much land. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Oh, that's so funny, dude.

SPEAKER_07 10:17

Man, so you speared a gar.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

I speared a gar. Yeah. We we actually had this, we we decided on his on that day, we were playing chess and what else were we doing? We're playing chess and spearing gars.

SPEAKER_08 10:30

Yeah. Well, first of all, fishing trip. We were bug house chess.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Bughouse chess. Listen, if you ever played bughouse chess, that is a game. Have I won yet? One time.

SPEAKER_05 10:39

Yeah, you want to come play chess and fish a little bit? That's crazy. It's also super fun, dude. Alright.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Shut up, dude. Um no, and then we decided in the moment that we're gonna go uh get some gigs. Yep. You know what giggin is? Yeah. I'm just saying, dude, you're you're you're north of the Mason Dixon line.

SPEAKER_07 11:04

I don't know if you're even a real southern person. Have you stepped a foot in Arkansas? Arkansas? I lived on I grew up on the border of Missouri and Arkansas. Look like it, Bubby.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

You look like a married You look like a shit. Do you want me to look like give me a second?

SPEAKER_01 11:21

It looked like your sister married to your brother's cousin and y'all made a baby named Joe. That's what you did. What's he doing? Straw hats. Oh my gosh, dude. Oh boy. You're in for a treat now. Is Arkansas enough for you? Yeah, too. Is that your daughter's hat? Yo, that's a wild one there. He put a straw hat on. Oh, okay. So getting back to it, Conrad. What I I I just want to brag on you and feel free, you are such a humble person. Stop it, honestly. It's really good. Yo, his he has a video, right? And I don't really care about views except for this instance to brag on my friends. But he has this video on YouTube. And what's your what's your YouTube channel called?

SPEAKER_08 12:06

Conrad Kraft.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

Conrad Kraft. Where he is whittling a chess piece. Is it a king?

SPEAKER_08 12:13

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

It's a king piece. I think I think he's whittling a king on a on a lathe. And and it has like, I don't know, 250, 260,000 views, something like that. But I to me it's like that makes so much sense because all I want to do is go to sleep watching woodworking videos every single night. You know what I mean? Like that is that's nostalgic.

SPEAKER_08 12:33

When you make a video that's over an hour long, you will go to sleep too. That's true. That is true.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

But there's so many things about it that are so cool. I obviously you're a master woods woods craftsman. How'd you how'd you get into that world? Obviously, now you're you you transition to a more management position, but how'd you get into woodcrafting and all that? Who taught you that?

SPEAKER_08 12:53

I mean, you know, every every kid who gets a pocket knife at around 10, 12 years old or whatever, like either loves making things or like gets cut a bunch of times and decides they don't want anything to do with it. And I loved making things. I didn't care how many times I got cut. You know? So it's uh yeah, ever since I got a pocket knife, I started learning how to carve and whittle, and my dad was into it. And uh we used to actually go sit at bluegrass festivals, and he would like sit in his lawn chair and he would carve on some piece of basswood. And you know, I was like 10 years old, you know, uh just kind of catching that whole vibe, and I was like, well, you know, cool person, this is what I want to do, I guess. So I'm gonna do this thing and start learning how to do it. And when he would like get up and go to the bathroom, I would like pick up his piece of like carving and I would start whittling on it, and he'd come back and he'd yell at me for carving on it. Why are you talking about it? You know, so but yeah, no, I I started uh learning and uh I was fortunate enough to be homeschooled and have tons of free time to learn new skills and hobbies all the time.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

So I just kind of began to finally a benefit for homeschooling, right?

SPEAKER_08 14:03

Yeah, I started collecting hobbies hardcore, man. So uh yeah, so I just uh started learning and uh because of my dad's interests and such, uh, we ended up around other people um who were interested in it, and he I think eventually took me to a wood turner's club, uh like the like a Houston area.

unknown 14:24

What?

SPEAKER_08 14:25

Wood turnings club. These people have these big old wood lathes and they they have club meetings, and yeah, it's it's a whole thing. And uh so a little twelve crazy little 12-year-old me surrounded by a bunch of retired people with power tools, yeah. And uh I was just soaking it up and wow, yeah, yeah, very formative. So that's crazy, dude. That's great. And it's cool thing, the cool thing about that dynamic is when you have uh people in their 50s, 60s, 70s, um, you know, around you, you're 12 years old, like they just absolutely love you and they want to pour into you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you're the sponge. It's it's like free college education. It really is. Yeah, it's amazing. So yeah, I had that in a lot of different ways. Uh a lot of different things I was interested in.

SPEAKER_06 15:12

Dude, that's cool.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

And and some of the crazy, like, he also makes these pipes, these tobacco pipes. So he probably how many made from all of our friends, pretty much. Not dusting because he doesn't deserve it, but it's coming.

SPEAKER_08 15:24

It's coming. It'll be there.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

He doesn't smoke where I'm not. He's a little sissy boy. Uh what are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about, dude? Don't be over here hating, dude. You're talking about your bike's the best thing. I do Willie, I'm a weird man. Okay. No, but he makes these pipes, dude. And I'm telling you, I almost brought my.

SPEAKER_08 15:41

Like a long stem. A long stem. We're talking Lore of the Rings.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Beautiful pipes. Can you? I'm just throwing this out there. Would you be interested in maybe throwing up Conrad Kraft uh YouTube channel again and maybe whittling some pipes?

SPEAKER_08 15:56

I mean, would people watch it? It's been a few years since I did anything on that channel. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 16:00

Comment down below. Comment down below. Did you watch what is it called?

SPEAKER_08 16:04

Would you watch a guy whittle a pipe or or whatever? Bro, Lost Sam Gandalf style, bro. It's so dope.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

It's one of my favorite things I own is that pipe. And not only that, then you make you used to make like cool jewelry out of like bullets.

SPEAKER_08 16:18

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I did I did uh some bullet shell uh crafting stuff, some bullet shell jewelry for a while, and uh did that with uh yeah, my buddy Jacob Burroughs. It was kind of a little business that he was running. Um rings and necklaces. You made a necklace out of a bullet shell. Yeah, and we would do shapes and and things like that. Take a bullet shell and deform it. You anneal it, deform it, cut it up into shapes, and reform it into you know, a buck's head, kind of like um I mean, if if you think about it. A buck is a male deer, okay. You know, a buck's head with antlers, you know, crosses. We did a lot of different stuff. So I guess uh the one thing I wanted to do is combine those two, and I have a design for a bullet shell chess set with 50 caliber bullet shells.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Oh, that'd be so.

SPEAKER_08 17:09

Then uh I have them I have a bunch of stuff cut out. I just uh that would be if I did another video for a chess set or something, I think that would be one of the next ones I did. That's sweet.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Yeah, I'm down. Oh, that's sick. Not only that, and here's another I can do this all day. He also is a master like bee farmer. What is that? Bee keeper? Sure. Does he currently keep bees? No, dude.

SPEAKER_08 17:32

Tell the story, bro. So currently I actually I have uh some hives that I've I haven't had hives for a while. Uh, but I I have uh a friend that I had been helping out with bees um on their farm decide that their life is a little bit too busy for that right now. Wow. And so they're giving me their bees. So now I have bees, and now I have another friend who has a father-in-law who has like 600 acres that and they want bees.

SPEAKER_07 17:57

And so you trying to start a compound?

SPEAKER_08 17:59

He's starting a compound. I think I think my friend, whose father-in-law this is, is trying to start a compound on his father-in-law's property.

SPEAKER_05 18:08

I would do the same thing. Let's add that up.

SPEAKER_08 18:10

So now he's you pay for the land.

SPEAKER_06 18:11

Come on, if I just have five acres of this.

SPEAKER_08 18:16

Now he's co-op co-opting it. So I'm gonna be hanging out out there uh and uh seeing what I can do to get back into it. At one point in time, I I was managing 350 beehives. So yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

That sounds crazy today. It stresses me out. I manage three people, and I get stressed out, dude.

SPEAKER_06 18:34

You're doing 350 beehives? I'm trying to figure out how to put one guy to work right now. Like, man, what's this guy gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Oh, it's crazy, dude. Uh I'll tell you, he and I can't tell you how many times, because I I work in construction, we both work in construction, that uh Conrad has called, I have to call Conrad to save my bacon. Oh no. Dude, then the most basic stuff. Hey bro, I can't install this little piece of crown molding. It's like it's like a three-inch piece. He had a drive from Conro to help this strange.

SPEAKER_08 19:08

I don't know if I really helped, but we had a good time.

SPEAKER_06 19:11

It was a good time. You ever call him about my patio? We'll end up with that. We'll end up with that.

SPEAKER_07 19:15

No, you never called Conrad to come help you with that. He needs to love you more.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

I didn't screw it up. Listen to me.

SPEAKER_06 19:22

If you are those Marks trying to do you a favor? I'm like, he's like, hey, you you you you film videos of stuff, and then you can film me a video of my company, and I'm gonna come throw some dirt on your porch and just power wash it. Now I have permanent. Never mind, guys. Hired, hired what's your company's name?

SPEAKER_01 19:42

I say, no, listen, listen, I'm joking. If I do the work, it could be sus. But if I'm managing the work, it's gonna be perfect.

SPEAKER_08 19:52

You're good at finding the work.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

I I work, I my company does work for his company, so I must do something.

SPEAKER_08 19:57

We love using Thomas. Thomas is a good guy. He's got good people's good people's. Find the good people's.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

I find the good people's and then I pay them. No. Yeah. Um, no, I can I can literally do this all day. Uh, but part of the reason I wanted you on to comrade is I think I think you have uh a voice that I think a lot of men need to hear because you have done some things and have a family for such a long time that um I think you can really shed light on how to how to how to affect longevity, how to continue on. And I guess that'd be my first question when you start to dig a little deeper into you is what what is some advice you would give a a young married man who may be a dad or may about to be a dad for the years to come.

SPEAKER_08 20:44

Who's about to be a dad or dad may be a dad.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Or young dad, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08 20:49

Young dad, early dad, early dad, infant dad. I mean, you you absolutely absolutely have to get on the same page with your wife about what you're doing with uh discipline like because you only have so much time for discipline like in the life of a child to be effective, and after that it's counterproductive, depending on how you do it. Um you there's a lot of you know flexibility, so to speak, in the life of I think a child from zero up to about five years old, and uh there's a lot of forgiveness there for like not really fit knowing what you're doing. And as a new father, you know, newly married person, if you and your wife are just figuring that out together, you know, on the first child for the first two years, that's fine. Um get on the same page as quickly as possible and be consistent. Um because after about like five years old, it's it's something I've seen in my life, it's something I've seen in a lot of other people's lives. But if you're gonna have a child, a child needs to know how to function in society and has to uh have kind of a basic understanding. of how that works by about the time they're around five or six years old. After that, it's just a fight. And I've seen a lot of a lot of people who waited to start battling that fight when, you know, until their kid was old enough to understand. Yeah. And um man, you just you you sort sh you short sell a child's understanding so easy by doing that. They start understanding things. Some of them at at a at a year two years old are understanding things that others at three or four years old haven't quite picked up yet. You just have to be aware and you have to be ready.

SPEAKER_04 22:36

Be ready for that.

SPEAKER_08 22:36

And by discipline there's a lot of lot of ways that that looks but um the main thing that I'm I'm pointing out is like you and your wife have to be consistent and on the same page. Yeah. Because if if you guys aren't together the child's going to see that the child will will undermine it. It's just not going to work.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

So and I I want to I want to piggyback off that a little bit because uh there I I know there's dads out there who are a lot like me when I was in the middle of a divorce and I wasn't able to see my kid as much trying to discipline in that arena is is very difficult as well but but it is possible and I just want to encourage you guys if you're going through that um man just push through it sucks it's hard there's nothing fun about it but even then trying to discipline when you only see him every other weekend is so essential and so key.

SPEAKER_07 23:26

So yeah thank you for saying that brother man it's good stuff. Dude I couldn't even I I honestly couldn't even imagine that like uh seeing my kid every other whatever and having to be like the the discipliner it's not fun.

SPEAKER_08 23:41

I honestly couldn't I don't know it can't work that's it can't work in a in a way I mean not unless you have a lot of trust right with the kid yeah they have to already understand that like even though that's harder it's better. And like how is that gonna work for a kid?

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Man Yeah divorce is evil bro like that's what I keep telling people like it it's evil I'm not saying it's not necessary. I didn't say that. But it is evil. And it's the most evil thing I ever encountered and I think we and it's evil because of that reason. It takes the kids away from the nuclear family. And and when that happens bro there's detrimental things that can take place if you don't just stay consistent. So stay consistent I can't help but but say that enough.

SPEAKER_08 24:25

So yeah yeah fair enough and I would I would just add one more thing like say it all falls apart and you can't be as present as possible. Yeah because like even a even a poor example of a father or um you know that role that figurehead in their life like even a bad one's better than none at all.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

That's so good.

SPEAKER_08 24:50

And that's I mean that's not just me saying I think that's been kind of proven out with uh a few different studies that like as far as um children being well adjusted and being able to function in society and have good uh communication skills it's all better even with a horrible dad than as a nun than than none rather than none. And that's not short selling moms like or the role of moms. It's just there's a role that dads play in um in that that's it's super important to be present as much as possible. Right?

SPEAKER_01 25:23

So good.

SPEAKER_07 25:24

So good all right next question I got one that's uh that's pretty good um what oh wait let me let me do this one what surprised you most about yourself after having kids if you can remember that far life before children that's like 14 years ago bro what ask the question again what surprised me the most what surprised you the most about yourself after having kids I don't know I think I was surprised that I felt like I knew what to do oh yeah I was I was just talking to somebody the other day that's uh pretty afraid right now his wife is ready he feels like he's really not ready and I literally told him I'm like dude you're ready you'd be surprised how ready you actually are because same same thing man really yeah like same boat yeah I I had no idea we just talked about this on the last episode like I was terrified like man I I don't know what to do like I didn't and then day she came out it's like you just step into a zone that's that you don't know how to explain almost you just step into knowing what to do you know it's like it's like a mantle that falls on you.

SPEAKER_08 26:48

Yeah yeah it is that's a good description because there's no preparation figure this out as a goat yeah dude yeah maybe a little bit biased just because there's nothing to compare it to like I mean unless you absolutely feel like man I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing you know I and maybe that's just my head lying to me but no I I I felt like I remember being a kid. I I remember the feelings and and I had a lot of empathy and so I feel like and my firstborn is very much like me. Yeah yeah and so there was that instant kind of connection of I understand what's going on and I know how to help you. And that was really helpful and I think that's probably like you know between two parents like taking ownership of a child when that child is like you're like oh no that's a me thing. Like being willing to say oh that bad attitude or that like remember back to when you felt that way or when you had those thoughts like sometimes that can be humbling and I think a lot of people don't even maybe have memories that far back. Yeah um but like emotionally I I felt like I could understand what was going on in my child pretty quickly and and I understood because of what I had come to realize I needed I understood kind of how to reach them with what they need. That's so good. So that I think maybe that's something yeah part of a gift that maybe dads are given or it's an opportunity there but I think even like if the child is more like the mom like you know that's a big thing the mom needs to yeah like be willing to see too and it's really hard to hear it from someone else like if the if the you know dad's going oh sweetie she's just like you and this is like no that ain't gonna work.

SPEAKER_07 28:39

Yeah gotta change that language you you gotta you gotta own that yourself um as much as possible so yeah it's so interesting to put it in that perspective man um I like I was adopted yeah right and as son of adopted parents I I'm the b I felt like the black sheep right so misunderstood so just yeah no one understands how I operate nothing like that um I meet my bio mom and it's like oh my god yeah like a marriage like this is this is crazy okay this actually makes sense now that's yeah we went through some crazy years of of like I had to set crazy boundaries and all that but now um uh when we communicate it's like man I'm like like if I'm if I've been like down bad for a couple weeks and we we for some reason have a have a phone call I could feel understood because it's it's like it is it is that's so weird. That's that's that's an interesting thing.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

That is so good. I can't I that perspective is sh it's so foreign to me right I had I had a great mom and dad but um yeah dude I can't imagine what it's like to see her later in life.

SPEAKER_07 29:54

Well yeah but no just like even say what Conrad's saying like just kind of like it's an understanding like that she's more like him or she's more like her whatever like there there's yeah there's something that connects there.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

That's so good. That's so good.

SPEAKER_07 30:15

Have you guys interesting have you guys whenever you're you're I guess it's essentially the first baby but I felt like this with all my kids uh I have four it still hurts to say sometimes four hurts hurts nothing I got four kids of work never thought I have four kids I'm so happy I do though yeah you just said you wanted 19 yeah well calm down man 30 minutes we're not gonna put that on camera I mean why nice Julie no um when when you when your kid came out for the first time it's like there was all this fear like we talked about this earlier uh and you have all this fear and you have all this anxiety is like what's gonna happen how's this baby gonna take care of and and how am I how is this baby gonna react to me blah blah blah and then as soon as they're born you're like oh no you're my responsibility forever and I'm accepting it yeah it's like a different that's I I felt that instantly I was like ne you'll never know a day without me that's the first thing I thought that's strong yeah my I mean my fear was immediately replaced with with so much joy yeah I mean obviously I was excited but at the same time I I think all men can understand that that like fear of your first kid I don't have two yet um but I'm so excited for two but um I mean yeah that fear immediately turned into joy yeah and I talked about it on the last episode but like uh I got the experience to actually like pool my daughter and catch like catch her is what they call it catcher. Yeah do you have a natural like home birth or did she we we we did uh so um so y'all we're in like Houston area um we did uh midwives at Willowbrook yeah okay and they do like birthing tub and all that but um yeah they allow they just asked me one day like you plan on catching and I was like what does that mean? That's enough and they explained it and something in me was just like absolutely like yes um and man and I said it on the last episode but if if you're given that opportunity do it like if you can stomach it as a man do it because and if you can't do it anyway yeah just do it anyway casting out because yeah man every uh quote unquote negative feeling I was feeling yeah just left in an instant yeah that's it and I was just taken away I was caught up in bliss and and then it's just like man yeah you're it's just it's just yeah this is us now.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Yeah yeah and she looks like you too so that's crazy. Um yeah so let me ask you this going back to the the spouses because I feel like this is something too that I think men can struggle with what do you feel like changed the most between you and your spouse when you have kids and is there something you would like to get better at well you go for it I go I'm in the hot seat I'm still new I'm still new I'm the new dad she's gonna watch this too so don't question um I I think man ask the question again because this is this is a deep one yeah okay so let me I'm gonna rephrase it a little differently too what is something um that has changed between you two as a couple that you would like to get better at or you like to do better at?

SPEAKER_08 33:44

Uh I mean I think it has always been like helping my wife feel understood by me. You know, because there's like I have a capacity to understand things intellectually fairly quickly but I don't do a really great job of communicating that understanding right verbally back to them and getting their scent that that is how they feel and like that whole like you know echo moment kind of kind of thing that you need to give to your wife when you understand. Yeah a lot of times as a guy when you understand something you jump straight into solutions. You jump straight into how can I fix it all yeah or like what's the next steps right um or like well how should I feel at this point now that I understand that what's what's the next feeling you know coming up or what's the next thoughts and uh you have to take a moment yep and you have to acknowledge what you've just heard and you have to like be able to repeat it back yeah repeat it back so they catch that you understand. Otherwise it's like crickets you know for them like understanding that I spent a lot of years early on like not letting my wife know how well I understood her by going through that little process of communication. And it is a process it's like a well this isn't what I would automatically do as a guy. Yeah right so I have to learn this process. Yeah. And maybe for some guys it comes more natural. For me I'm I'm I you know was more internal I grew up thirdborn of a house of five kids the middle kid the older siblings weren't really interested in me and so it was like um I was by myself a lot so I just internally thought about a lot of stuff and internalized things more and uh have a really good relationship with my younger siblings and stuff but I think breaking that habit of hearing things breaking them down you know I I did that even with like all the woodworking stuff you know yeah just getting it from getting information from older people and learning it breaking it down turning it into action you know it's like that was kind of the the mode that I went into so learning to relate to your wife is a lifelong thing. And uh yeah it was it's the same probably uh same issue that I have to I want to get better at it I knew I know now how bad I was at it at first and how bad I am still at it and that trying to get better at it as much as I can you know as quickly as I can but not in a fake way. I think you can act anybody can act yeah you can pretend enough yeah you can you can pretend to have empathy when you really don't right and and it takes a lot more to actually decide to care.

SPEAKER_07 36:41

That's so true that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

That's good. My perspective's a little different like my I was married before not good and then my wife now married coming up on three years. Congratulations I have to yeah you too baby's the same thing we got we got married a month apart babies a month apart we did huh we got married we got married the same birthday where's the matching tattoos no joking what'd you say matching tattoos where's the matching tattoos it's uh we can't show that on camera oh yeah that's for at least we get monetized at a thousand downloads so that's after a thousand downloads you DM us with the monetized sponsoring next video with a pipe for these guys get them to the likes and the and the subscribes they need back to our sponsor better help thank you that's right hey I'm actually trying to get us up I'm really good that's right bro we we're hit us up no I forgot what to say but no no I I think with with my wife it's she does so much to me like our our littlest boy like we we have I have three kids that live with us and then we have um my my infant baby which is our son um the other three are hers too I don't really like saying that but you you understand what I'm saying yeah um and it is so much work dude like she's picking up from school and in the meantime she's holding this baby who's like always needing her like always and he's and he's like really active baby he's loud he moo throws things he's like he's having he smiles all the time but when he's not happy yeah no it um and and I just wish I almost every night I'm like man I wish I did more for her today and I'm constantly like reevaluating my my effort. Does that make sense? And she'll tell me sometimes hey no it's fine another day she's like yeah maybe you should have taken out the trash or something you know what I mean but um I just wish I wish I was more conscious of that because I I let the weight of work and the weight of owning a business and the weight yeah and and and that that succumbs me sometimes when I get home and that's the that's the one thing I wish I could just do better especially with my wife. So that's me.

SPEAKER_07 39:02

Man what I'm working on right now what I'm trying to be conscious of is like uh I I like have to be on game all day long. Yeah like I'm in ministry. Right. Like if I if I say something that offends my my like a coworker like shoot like that's a lot of hard like we're gonna have some hard conversations tomorrow right so I have to be like I gotta try to to watch myself all day every day make sure hey I'm treating this person right and treating this person right when I go out to Whataburger for lunch I can't get pissed off because it took 35 minutes to get me my number one should have taken Whataburger you're always having that problem dude I'm just gonna say it out loud go ahead any but like I'm always watching myself. Yeah yeah and so when I get home it's like ah I can clock out yeah I don't have to watch myself anymore. Yeah. What I'm working on right now, what I'm trying to be conscious of is um that not every uh conversation in our marriage is a right now conversation that's good like not not everything that I that I feel like we like hey we can go on more dates more that's not when I get home because I'm pissed off that so and so did this with whatever at church and I'm like we got a date more you know and then like heard what he said yeah like um so yeah I'm I'm like learning how to be uh conscious of timing yeah yeah on when to bring up different conversations and all that right it's so good you know a book I read once that um I hate but love it's called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry I just read that not long ago yeah yeah and it's it's I hate it because there's so many true things about it but I love it because it's so necessary.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

Like having being able being able to as a man not and this book's not men or women but as a man find or husband father find a way to get the rest you need in order to be the best version of a man you can be. And that's good it's it is not easy it's it's hard and and honestly I feel guilty because I feel like my wife does more work than me. Does that make sense? Like like she needs the rest but she's not getting it but but I'm over here it's it's just a that's a hard what's that book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry I forgot the author's name but it's gonna say y'all if you're if you're struggling with any of the things we've we've talked about in the last in the last five minutes check that book out I'm gonna be checking that book out for sure.

SPEAKER_07 41:46

Never heard of it I'll check it out. Yeah it's not bad though that sounds good because we live in a hurry that's just our society.

SPEAKER_08 41:52

Yeah everything's right now everything's give me give me give me I gotta have it now I got we gotta talk right now we gotta we gotta succeed right now we gotta you know so that's good man I'll I'll check that book out for sure yeah man I have a I've got a question for you Conrad what is the and I don't want to jump ahead or anything um what's the contrast like between a five year old and a fourteen year old like what how do you I feel like that's just a different like uh fathering yeah strategy almost you know two different people yeah well I would say right like you're always fathering in one direction um you're always like going from Snuggett's cheeks at least hopefully you're always fathering in one direction we're gonna be clipping this for weeks um you're always you're always creating an adult right you're not creating a child um like and I think a lot of that that maybe can sound too hard if you if you want to like riff on it too much so understand that I'm saying it gently um but like I'm not raising kids I'm raising adults and um and I think um that you can be pretty firm and you can be pretty hard and you can be pretty without being unkind and without being brutal and without just being a jerk you can be the line that can't be crossed as a father especially with a child up to about five years old. Like they need to understand there's a line that can't be crossed by the time they get there. After that if you've done that then they get it. Right? Like and once they get it I think it has been way easier for my wife and I than than probably a lot of our friends in getting between that five and fourteen year old phase I have a 14 year old that acts like a 22 year old but is kind and is loving and And she would play with the four year olds and the two year olds and the three year olds and like joy in her heart. And and um and and she understands that like life is full of difficult things that you must do. And that life, and I I I try to I get to be the fun dad uh and the disciplinarian dad, which is weird. Yeah, yeah. Um my wife does the hard enforcement work all day while I'm at work, right? Like so she she's constantly fighting the little battles, and um and there's a lot of weight and a lot of responsibility on that for her, and she feels drained, you know, at the end of the day. Right. Um she gets to hear all the nagging and the complaining and all that. As a homeschooling mom, you know, she's teacher, she's food provider, she's chauffeur, she's all those things all day long. No break. Um, and that's hard, that's really tough. And so when I come home, I I'm there to relieve, I have to be there to relieve her from some of that responsibility. Um and but like that jump between a five-year-old and a 14-year-old, like I think the hardest thing in the world is is is um getting a child by the time they're five, six years old, to where people want to be around them. Yeah, you know, because they're they're like cute and everything, but little kids get away with a lot of stuff because they're oh a little kid. But there's a there's a gentle, firm way to deal with children, I think, that sets them up to understand there's lines they're not going to cross when they're six, seven, eight, nine, ten years old. When they start getting into puberty and they start having the crazy hormones, um, you need a lot of care and a lot of understanding. And I would say there's a lot of jumps between five and fourteen. Yeah. Um, so like that's that's not one jump, that's like three or four. But um I would say that getting there in that one direction that you're always moving as a parent is like always remind yourself um the next step is okay. Like, I think some parents go, you're not ready for that understanding. Like when a kid asks them a question that's hard to answer, or when when the kid um witnesses something that's hard to explain. Yeah, like you know, I think we do our kids a disservice by not spending the time necessary to slow down and be a be an adult, like a mature adult, and and talk to them as if they could understand it, as if they could understand the thing that they have witnessed or seen or whatever they've asked the question about.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 46:47

Explain it to them as if they will understand it. Don't assume that they won't. And whether or not they do doesn't matter. The fact that you take the time to do it trains them to expect to get good answers when they ask questions and to not be um afraid of asking questions or like just feel like they're not gonna get an answer.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

Or know that dad's gonna answer when I call.

SPEAKER_08 47:13

Yeah, and so, and this is for things that like even challenge you as a parent. Yeah, like I want to challenge me right now. I want my kids when they don't understand that why I've done something and I've laid down a line or what, I want them to ask me why. Like I don't I don't take I don't take um questioning the concept as a threat to my authority.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

Okay. Yeah, that's it for DASCO. Hey, that's true. That was so good. Say that again.

SPEAKER_08 47:50

I mean, I I just don't I don't take questioning the concept as a threat to my authority. I think a lot of people go, are you questioning me? No, no, you this is this is it, and that's done. That's it. But it's like, okay, if there's a real need to understand, you can both understand that I'm not going to move my position on this, and this is why I think it. And it's okay, as long as they can accept that the position isn't moving, it's okay to take the time, and I think it's really, really healthy, to take the time to explain it whatever the thing is that they're having difficulty with. And if they disagree with it, it's okay for them to not be comfortable with it yet. They're going to have to follow it. Listen, right? It's okay for them not to they don't have to give you lip service. You want heart connection, you want trust.

SPEAKER_06 48:46

You don't just lip service is dang, bro.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Dude, it's so good.

SPEAKER_08 48:53

You have to earn trust. There's only one way to earn trust, and that is to be vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

What's so good about this too, Dustin, is that I am I feel I feel the weight of what you're saying because I I'm so guilty of this all the time. My kids will ask something or do something, and it'll frustrate me and be like, do it because I told you to.

SPEAKER_07 49:11

Yeah, I was literally about to say, dude, you're deleting the I told because I said so. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Which and and in my upbringing was like that's it, but what I'll say.

SPEAKER_02 49:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 49:21

And let me let me say that like there's rebellion and there's lack of understanding. Yeah, right? Yeah. And as a dad, you gotta learn to like see the difference between those two. And sometimes it's not easy. I like I don't get it perfect, but I know what I'm trying to do, right? Yeah, like I when a kid goes, why? Like, I feel the like, okay, you shouldn't you shouldn't be bucking up against this right now. Like, I feel I feel that. And in that moment, it's just okay, give yourself a second to think, is this rebellion or is this a real why? And about 80% of the time, it's a real why.

SPEAKER_07 49:57

Um all my whys were like pretty legit whys.

SPEAKER_08 50:00

Yeah, yeah. If you think about it when you're a kid, like you want to know why. And it's all right.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

Come here, come give me a hug, guys. You guys are wild at time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 50:13

I'm I'm it's not, you know, you can be really tough on a kid. I've been really tough on my kids. Um, and they always uh surprise me with their willingness to um like get past the fact like whatever difficult thing get past it and recognize that like I went through that difficult moment with them, you know? Yeah. And they can trust me.

SPEAKER_07 50:42

You sat in a suck with them, yeah. I'm gonna man, I just want to piggyback off that real quick. Like as a kid, you know, guys, we haven't really dove into what my story is and all that, but I mean like I did I never I never cared that my mom was an addict. I never cared that she struggled. I I uh you know, I struggled with abandonment, I struggled with things like that, but I never cared about the about the reasoning. I like I I I like always wanted to know her. You know? I wanted to be with her. And uh it doesn't man, in the in the eyes of a kid who um I know not everyone has this kind of perspective, but I mean I had a perspective that was uh I mean a lot a lot of kids like go through go through a lot of hell, right? With uh abuse and and all of that, but I had a perspective that was just like man, like I know all this like really, really, really, really like bad stuff about you and like all I want to do is like talk to you. You know, all I want to do is like hear about your day, like all I want to do is and so the perspective of what you're talking about with that why, like I mean kids just wanna be with you. Yeah. Kids just wanna like like like I had a I had a really bad like like a a rough thing that happened and I still was like but mom, like why? Like why like why why can't I see you? Why can't I like why can't I uh why can't we go to the mall? Why can't we you know why can't I live with you? Why can't you know?

SPEAKER_08 52:43

Um shame can factor into all that for like the parent too, you know? Yeah and uh that's that just makes everything harder, you know.

SPEAKER_01 52:53

So in a way that the the tough thing, the hard thing to do is to put the guilt aside and parent. Which I think is my hardest thing to do. It's like sometimes it's hard not to put the guilt aside, hard not to realize, oh I failed here, I messed up here, I screwed up here, and just keep moving on. But the the right thing to do as a good dad is to buck it up and do it.

SPEAKER_08 53:19

I can't tell you how many times I've apologized to my kids.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 53:23

You know, like and that's a real thing, you know. There have been days where I've been like a basically a total jerk. And I wake up the next morning and I realize that was uncalled for. Like I was I was being uh unnecessarily um brutal or unnecessarily mean or unnecessarily like with my words. Right. Um and or like I could have handled that way, way better. And I can know that in my head, and that can be good enough for me, right? Like, um, and I can tell myself I'm gonna do better next time and I can move on. I think a lot of guys take that path. Um, it's good to just, you know, if I if I'm thinking those thoughts early in the morning, I'm like, dang, I really could have done that better. It's alright for my kid to know that I think that. Yeah. Like, hey, yes, like in the morning, it's like I see my daughter, you know, um, she's you know, working at school or whatever, just walk over there. Hey, I'm sorry, I would I uh I was that rough last night, or I was that stern last night. I could have done better. You know, I'm sorry for that. Um and they always are like, it's okay, dad, thank you. You know, like they understand, they appreciate. I'm treating them like I would treat an adult at that point, right? They don't they don't deserve that. It's not like that, it's not like they're owed that. I give that because I want them to understand what healthy relationship looks like, um, and I want them to expect that, right, too. Like I have girls. I'm I I have I'm trying to raise tough girls because you know there's still there's a lot of guys out there that need a lot of help. Yeah um and I know how hard it is for my wife. Thomas was one of them. I just the worst. No, but it's raising tough girls. Gotta raise, gotta raise tough girls. I want my girls to feel like they can do anything, they can handle any situation. Yeah. And uh that's not a you know, that takes me uh showing weakness. Uh really, and that's not even a thing. It's like you hear guys say, man, don't show weakness. It's like, well, I want to show the truth. Like the truth is I screwed up. I want my kids to be willing to acknowledge the truth all the time. I know when my parents screwed up, I'm sure you saw when your parents were screwing up, like it'd be great. Can you imagine? Like, if they in those moments came back and were just like, hey, I saw I kind of screwed that up. My point I stick to, but I didn't do that well. Yeah. You know, it's like they learn, they they learn by watching you fall and get up.

SPEAKER_01 56:05

Did you do you feel like and on that note, do you feel like our generation, especially, our parents, I don't know if my I ever heard my parents say sorry ever. I I had great parents. Nah. Don't get me wrong, but but like my my dad was wonderful, my mom had some issues, but she was she's still a good mom. I don't remember ever hearing like a sorry.

SPEAKER_05 56:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

But not that I needed it though.

SPEAKER_08 56:27

Right.

SPEAKER_01 56:27

I don't know. I just I just heard you say that and I was like, hmm.

SPEAKER_08 56:30

Yeah. I had a pretty stern dad growing up, like a very, very stern uh father growing up, very authoritative, very uh military in his approach to all that discipline and everything. And uh and he I mean he just struggled with anger. He had he had anger issues. And I remember at one one point being shaken, shooken, like a ragdoll by my neck, you know, for accidentally spraying water into the garage while chasing one of my brothers with a water hose. Um, you know, but it got wood, and he's a woodworker, right? It got wood that he had in there for a job, got it wet, and he lost it, you know, and and and I'm you know this little kid, and I'm just being like drug around, basically like dangled by my neck. And uh, you know, it was like a traumatizing type experience, and he apologized the next day for that that event, you know. That's pretty much the only one, you know, until maybe some later stuff um between him and my mom that like I received an apology for. But I mean it had to be it, it wasn't I didn't get apologies for little things. Yeah, it had to be hardcore, like, dude, somebody could have called the cops on that one, bro. You know?

SPEAKER_07 57:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 57:50

Man. Dude, uh you're answering a uh question that I've actually been pondering within myself for quite a few months now. Um there's a thad right now of like gentle parenting, right? And I agree with some of it, and I'm probably gonna lose some friends over this, but I don't agree with most of it, man, because I've I've been trying to figure out this, like, I don't I don't want my so I was afraid of my dad. Sure. Not because he was a bad dad, not because I mean he never hit me, nothing like that. It's more so he worked so hard in his life, worked three different jobs. Um that the only time I ever saw him was when I was in trouble, you know? Um and so the only time the only communication I remember with my dad was being yelled at. Um and now we're I mean Yeah, there's a lot of restoration there, a lot of healing. Um But uh man, I've been like asking myself this question. Like I like I don't I don't want my any of my kids to be afraid of me in in any capacity, right? So how do I draw this line of like man I want to be gentle, but I all like we also absolutely need discipline, right? Um and you're I think you're answering what I've been asking myself for a while. Like, um yeah, man. Thank you, thank you for just sharing how you how you father, because that's uh I think that's actually gonna help a lot of a lot of guys out because um I mean we were raised by boomers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 59:37

And uh Yeah, I mean like my my grandfather was born in 1908. Like my dad was born when my grandfather was in his fifties. Like, you know, like he was my dad was the baby of his family. Um, you know, like it's it's kind of crazy how much time that actually is, you know. I'm 40. I can't imagine having a kid when I'm 15.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:02

Dude, no, thank you. Dude, I'm I'm pissed if I have a kid.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

I'm 38.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:08

I'm making 500 acres, bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:12

No, I can't.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:14

It goes all the money. That's yeah. Can I I want to say something because I I haven't really talked about my dad, but I I he is he is still alive and and is and is one of the greatest men I know. Um and I would be it'd be shameful if I didn't talk about just how great he is just for a second. I grew up I never feared my dad, but I I had I feared his discipline. And I had such a respect for him. Um I was fortunate enough that a lot of my cousins and and close family members would would look to him as as a dad because maybe their dads weren't around or whatever. So my dad was like a patriarch of of not just my family, but many other families. So I was very, very I am very, very fortunate uh to have him, and I just want to say, Dad, I I love you so much. Uh I don't tell you enough, and I I am a better man today. Anything I know about parenting, any of the good things I know, I got from my father, not just you, dad, but my heavenly father. So I love you. Thank you. Um can we move on to the next question before I lose my mind? Okay. Uh okay, I this is uh this is a deep one. You ready for this?

SPEAKER_06 1:01:31

Oh no. Oh, I thought we were over the draft. I'm over here crying.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

Two in the chamber, bro.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:36

I'm already over here crying, and you're like, here's the deep one.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:39

Two in the chamber. Okay, here it is. I need a drink for this. Uh I think so. Um I'm I'm trying to pick which one I'm gonna do. Okay. What scares you about the future for your kids? And I got one more after that, and then we can close it down.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:00

I think the scariest thing about the future that my kids inherit is how little their uh their generation knows about the past. I think we have so much going on that moves forward into the future that um I mean it's just it's all you can do to keep up with the progress that's happening. Um the world is changing constantly, and and now computers that we you know knew had the capacity to think um faster than we did, now can actually produce things faster than we can on their own. Um, you know, or at least can can abstractly conceptualize uh prompts that we give to them, you know, and and that's it's not a long road, it's not a long road before that um is everywhere and in everything. And while there's a lot, I think, that is positive about all of that and is is going to result in good things, like I'm not negative in any way about the future. Yeah, I'm not scared in any way about the future. I I'm a as a person who has always been interested in skills, I understand that like the world still functions by touch. Like it's not just thought, thoughts are a million you know, for a penny nowadays, and the the the computers will create them at that speed. Yeah, thoughts and ideas, they are still absolutely useless without action. And while there's a lot of action that can be done automatically uh or anatomic, you know, um just autonomously in a lot of ways too. Um like it's it's uh people who can make things a reality, and you always need people to be able to make things reality, right? Whether it's fixing a bike, um, like that's not gonna be done by a by a computer.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:03

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:04

At least not for a while.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:06

Um, you know, maybe one maybe for certain people it will. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:10

I don't know what computer will will put a uh piston ring on a bike piston.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:17

Like they have the they have the capacity and the the dexterity and all that to do all those things, but it's not going to there's a lot more value for that other places. Like you you're going to always need skills, you're going to always need practical hands-on understanding of how the world works. And I think that that's tied very heavily to how the world has worked in the past and what the world is. You know, we live in like Houston, right? The third biggest uh city in the US. Is that right? Or is it second? I don't remember. I think we're actually fourth.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:50

No, fourth or four.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:52

I don't know. You know, I'm making it up. Still big.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:54

Still big, pretty big.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:56

That's what that's a lot more houses and cars and stuff than there looks to be trees in a lot of places, right? So um, I'm really big about getting my kids like out in in nature and and uh like I absolutely like growing up, one of the things I was really big into was survival skills. And so like my girls can build a fire faster than any boy, like any person in the movie, you know, or TV show Survivor, like my kids can get that fire started with a flint and steel. Yeah, you know, like my kids know how to make a fishing pole and catch fish. My kids understand how to identify about 30 different plants out in the wild that they can eat. Like my kids understand the world they live in. Yeah, and that world has been around for as long as the world has been around and we've been in it. You know, the world we inhabit right now is like I call it an elfine world, and that is it's like when you watch a movie and there's elves, and it's a this magical, mystical place where things that you don't see anywhere else happen. Like that's the world we live in in a city. Yeah, it's this magical mystical place. Where nothing natural happens. And you go out into nature and you know nothing about how to live there, that's really sad. Yeah. You know, it's like, um, who is it? We're getting called out right now, bro. Well, like I'm like, I want to make a how do you build a fishing pole? Like when you think about it, I had I remember we had home births like with our kids. Yeah. Except for the last one, which was in a birthing center. Um, and that was one heck of an experience, right? Yeah. Um, I I'm right there with you. It's like nothing like that. No. Um, you know, and it's scary. Like, because it's it's a real risk.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:40

Like it's real risk, but the reward of like understanding that no, this is how this is supposed to work. This has been happening this way forever, right? Like, that's a that's a real thing. Uh Jimmy Carter, the first president of the United States to have been born in a hospital. Every president before then was born at home. It's like, yeah, you know, you think about it, we're we're not that far away from the from a world where you interacted with the world all the time. Yeah. So that world is brutal. It's not nice to us. So you have to know how to deal with this.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:19

You know, your fear is not them not to be prepared for a world without it.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:23

Like if if things don't go well at any point in time, or if my my family decides to go someplace that's uh, you know, like uh third world country. Yeah, you know, like I I want them to have zero fear. That's just it. I think I think fear, right? Was that from Dune, fear is the mind killer. Fear is the mind killer, right? Right. Like I think that's the biggest thing we always battle as fathers, as families, is whatever, is the fear to do things that uh we were made to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:53

I'm taking my boys camping next week, dude.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:56

I made a clip for myself recently. Um it's on my computer actually, of uh all the times uh do not fear as a kid for in the Bible.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:08

Yeah. But I made a clip for myself because uh just man, I we've talked about it before, but when I go down, I go down, man. And uh it takes somebody to pull me back up usually, but uh um actually two weeks ago I made this clip for myself that just snapshots all the times that do not fear is uh calculated in the Bible. And uh you'd be surprised what that number is, bro. It's pretty tall.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:34

It's over 300, right? It took me a long time to edit that video.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:39

What does that mean? It's like over 360 times or something, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:43

Yeah, it's 367. Jeez. Yeah. Yeah. Do not fear from Genesis to Revelation. I love it. And it's it's like the most quoted it it's literally um God repeats himself over and over and over and over. Do not fear. Man.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:59

This is so good.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:00

Bro, I uh I had a uh I had a random thought uh earlier uh as you were talking about uh you mentioned this is just how like they used to do things. We're not that far off. Um my wife and I um we we got in this random conversation recently about uh um honestly like the idea of separating your baby into a separate room. Oh, right, yeah. And we got in that conversation, just kind of like, what do you think about that? Like, what's your ideas and all that? And just so you know, a baby's eight months old, still sleeping with us because we have our own opinion about it. And I don't care what you say. In the bed or in a like a basset? Currently still in the bed. We're we're about to probably transition to a bassadet, but the the reason is uh if you think about housing structure over the last two hundred years, uh most families did not live in three-bedroom, four-bedroom homes. Yeah, that's true. They lived very, very, very close knit. And uh I I have a theory that there's just um um uh a lot of uh kids grow up with some some issues, right? Some issues based upon uh the amount of uh we're gonna really dive into it here. Um like cortisol levels that they've produced as a baby because they're just screaming their heads off all night, sure, longing to to to to see if you're still there. Yeah. Longing to make sure they're okay. Longing to like, is my dad still here? Is my mom still here? What is going on? Like, am I okay? Um like and I'm talking like we have a spike of anxiety, depression, uh, abandonment. Like, we have a spike in the last 20 years when this like idea of separation had begun.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:05

Are you a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? I'm pretty light.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:08

I'm pretty light. She makes a noise like our first three months, bro, unless she's dying. Every noise she made. See it. Yeah, the problem. I still place my hand on her chest. I do it, yeah. I do it with my oldest boys sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:21

If they're sick or something, I'll go in the room and just put my hand on her chest and all right, we're good.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:25

It's true.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:25

It's a that's a good thing. It's a fatherly thing. I I couldn't do that just because I'm such a heavy sleeper. Thomas can attest to that.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:33

You are, dude. Yes, you are, dude.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:36

Yeah, like no, I if I rolled over on my kid and like you know, like it's just not a good plan for someone. I think that's uh definitely a you gotta you gotta know what you can do. Like, is this a good environment?

SPEAKER_07 1:11:47

Bro, and I don't I'm not saying anything to shade anyone who agrees with like the separation at three months and all that, but listen, we just I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:57

Mine stayed in the bedroom with us until she was, you know, definitely up in the like nine, ten, you know, months old, like, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:04

I got a I got a ten month old that's been in her own his own room for less than a month.

unknown 1:12:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:09

Yeah. So you I mean we're close. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:12

She'll be in her own room. I I agree with like separating. It's just like the idea of like leaving an infant, like, man, I just heard a story. I couldn't imagine leaving her six days in a crib in another room, bro.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:31

Oh, that's brutal. Absolutely brutal.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:33

Six days. Six days. Yeah. I heard a story. Their parents-in-law actually like like were the encouragers. They're like, no, you gotta get that baby in another room. You guys are never gonna sleep. What the what are you talking about? We're never gonna sleep.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:48

We're not supposed to sleep.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:50

What do you mean? What do you mean we're supposed to sleep through that?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:56

Bro, that's crazy. Like, yeah, man. I don't know. Well, okay, we're gonna close it off with one question. This question is really geared just to Conrad, and uh, I hope uh it's full of as much wisdom as you already shared this whole evening. But the last question is this if any of your daughters or all your daughters see this episode 20 years from now, yeah, what would you like to tell them from your dad at this moment?

SPEAKER_08 1:13:22

Uh well, I should probably say sorry, uh, that I definitely don't live up to everything that I say I want to live up to. Yeah, yeah. I think that's the like the big thing uh that like we do as dads, is it's like, you know, it's I think it's always important to acknowledge the truth, right? Um and that means a lot of judgment uh is coming your way. You know, just because just because you know the truth and speak the truth doesn't mean you live that truth out, right? And so it's it's very difficult with your wife or with your kids. Uh I think you should know as a father, like it's coming. Like, I'm going to be a hypocrite.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:02

It's just going to happen. I'm going to fail. Uh, it doesn't change the truth. Like, the truth needs to be the truth, and I need to be able to acknowledge it, and that's where like I need to be able to apologize. But hopefully, they if they see this in 20 years, or their husband sees this in 20 years, or however, you know, 10 years. Gosh, I've got a 14-year-old, six years, seven years, I don't know how long it's gonna be. Um I hope uh they're encouraged. I hope that they feel like I spoke about them in a way that they're proud of, and I hope uh that they do uh feel able like to take on um the world that they face, whatever that world looks like, you know. So I don't know if that answers your question, but no, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:47

It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:48

It's so good.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:49

Conrad. Conrad, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Pleasure boys.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:53

We got a couple questions from uh viewers though. Okay, hit them. Well, we got two. Two, we'll hit them two like two uh that I really liked.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:01

Boxers or briefs?

SPEAKER_08 1:15:02

We got tucked in or not tucked in?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:06

Um we did jujitsu. I know what happened. Jiu-Jits. Commando. Go ahead. Jiu-jitsu.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:19

Uh we got one from uh I know this guy, uh his name's Jason, but we got one from JD underscore a underscore. I like this question actually because uh we don't fit the mold of this question. None of us fit the mold. And uh I think our our responses are gonna be interesting. Go for it. Alright. JD underscore A underscore asks, how do you start allowing your kids to separate from you while trying to guide them at 18 years old?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:49

I'm sorry, I just saw your text say that again.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:53

He said the the questions that he that he said for you and he said the wrong ones and responded like the wrong questions.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:04

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:08

From another episode. These felt good, man. I didn't feel like I could answer these questions. Don't give me the other ones.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:16

These sounds the same.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:17

JD underscore A underscore asks, how do you start allowing your kids to separate from you while trying to guide them at 18 years old?

SPEAKER_08 1:16:27

It's too late. I mean, like, okay, so like I I'm sorry, that does maybe that's brutal. It's not too late. Like, but I don't understand. I maybe I don't understand. I think they're talking about like moving out, like being in a full adult, right? Right. Um, I think uh that's like if they're ready at 18, great. I wasn't really ready at 18. But I I also wasn't I wasn't parented necessarily in the way that I'm parenting now. Right. And and that's no that's not judgment on my parents as much as it is a recognition of like crap, I wasn't ready for the world. And I went out there and I I didn't do very well and like came back and then like had to figure out how to do well on the turf that I grew up in, and then I started doing well, and it's like, okay, I gotta figure it out. You know, it's like I've finished college and and it's like okay, finally, you know, it's like I wasn't ready, really ready, at in but you know, when I graduated high school. But like I I have a 14-year-old that understands life. Yeah. I I think that's very attainable for everyone, but it's not necessarily it's definitely attainable for us as homeschooled parents because we are there. My wife is there, like she is building trust constantly with my kids, is enforcing rules constantly with my kids, like, and teaching my kids, my kids are responding to it, and we have really good relationships. So, like, my 14-year-old, I would be totally fine with my 14-year-old deciding, hey dad, uh, I'm gonna get married when I'm 16. Uh like I'm gonna like what are you saying? This is how much trust I have in my oldest daughter. Yeah, yeah. Right? Wow. Like, this is um there is a much faster track. Like, like that life used to be really fast and used to end fast, right? Like you like 45 would be an old man and you'd die at 50 or something like that. So kids are getting married at 14, 15, 16 years old, right? Well, the capacity for understanding how to function in the world is there at that age if it's prepped for earlier on, right? Like if if you do a good job, um, and if God's grace is on you uh and you speak it every day, like your kid will understand how the world works by the time they're a teenager. That's why they can manipulate you. Like, geez, like as a teenager, that's why they're so good at manipulating you as a parent. They figured it out. You just haven't programmed them to figure out that world. They figured out this world. Wow. And so you like if you're trying to get them to not stay in the world you've created for them when they're 18, you kind of have had you're kind of stuck. Like, that's that's um that's a harder process. They're the print they may not be ready for it until they're 22. Yeah, you know, um but the the truth is their the capacity is there to be ready for it before 18. Uh it's there for a lot of these kids that like you know 15, 16, 17. So that's just my thought. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:02

Bro, that was so good. I'm asking I gotta read it again. Um, I wasn't talking about that one.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:08

Maybe I could like more genuinely answer it like if you're not willing to see them leave, the problem isn't with them. Oh wow. Like, and you need to start being willing to see them leave a lot earlier to prepare yourself for that.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:25

Yeah, we kinda we we we tapped on this actually on the episode that uh Thomas we did with Keegan. Yeah. Um and it was something that I that I realized that uh I'm literally just like raising my kids for them to learn how to go without me. Yeah. Go without us, go without m you know, her mom, their mom and I. And like, I don't want to I even even with that question, like I don't want it to become like they're 18, and I'm like, wait, I have so much to give still, I have so much to teach you, you know. Like, I want them to be ready at 18 as much as that pains me to say. Like as much as it as it hurts to say, like, yeah, I need to be ready to let you go. Yeah um I I will say that's that's something that my parents did uh like uh pretty out of a probably out of uh more of a very annoyed uh place, but I mean by 14 years old I knew that I needed to be out by I was 18. Right. And that I mean they helped me with that too, you know, like um I was uh hay bailing with my dad, you know, I was learning farm work, I was doing all this kind of stuff as a teenager to where at 18 I knew how to make money and I knew how to be on my own, you know. Um and yeah, like you're saying, like um, and and just that point that I realized the other day, like, yeah, I gotta mean I I have to be ready to start teaching my kids how to how to live without me, you know? At it at way raising adults way before 18.

SPEAKER_08 1:22:10

Yeah. If you do, they will trust you. Like if you raise them to be ready for it before 18, they will trust you. If you don't, why should they?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:20

I think I think to Conrad's point too um to J D underscore A underscore um how 18 are they? Right. Like if if they're if they're 18 and and they don't know how to take care of themselves, don't know about the life, don't know about anything, that then of course it's gonna be very, very, very, very, very difficult. Not impossible, but very difficult. Um But if they are if they have a real understanding of how the world works, real understanding how life works, real understanding that it's never gonna always go their way, and that stuff's gonna get hard, you gotta respect people, and you gotta be kind, you gotta be true to yourself, then then maybe um maybe they'll be ready. But if they're not, then I would suggest just trying your best to to encourage them to learn about who they are and how this world works.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:11

Yeah, and and reward them for doing so. Like a lot of parents, you know, somebody turns a certain age and it's like I'm gonna start charging you rent, I'm gonna start doing that. Right. Like, like give them give them reward and opportunity to understand their privilege. Like when they're 14, 13, you know, years old, like if they're like give them work, you know, like let them earn money, let them see what using that money can do, like start giving them um enough, you know, something responsibility-wise to actually take care of and manage. Let them see the consequences of it and let it be theirs, and like encourage them, you know. I don't know. That's so good. That's great.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:50

All right, last question. Let's do it. Last question, Thomas. I just have to address this real quick because I saw you saw you scrolling through.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:58

This man's head. Hey!

SPEAKER_01 1:24:04

I saw you kind of like what the take it from a zero fade up to a four.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:12

If you're just listening, I have uh I have these questions like screenshot it on my phone, right? And Thomas was going through my favorites. I mean he's just this really attractive man in my photos.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:26

I mean I thought I always thought, but you're a profile guy, okay. Yeah, profile show.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:33

I'm not good at telling him what I want.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:34

Yeah, that's what you tell you why.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:35

Just like, what's it called? The mid-fades like tradition, whatever, okay. Um this is from uh um Taco underscore Malarkey.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:48

What a great name.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:49

Uh I got this today, actually. Nice. Um, yeah. About to be a new dad, 6'18, June 18th. What's the biggest piece of advice you never got? Yeah. Biggest piece of advice. Hit me like a like a freaking ton of bricks today. That you never got.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:10

Uh mine would be.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:13

Oh, you already got yours, okay. I had a full day to think about mine. I still don't.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:20

Don't rush it. Just sit back and enjoy it, man. It it happens so fast. Like you're gonna be you're gonna be in the hospital one day, the next day they're gonna be one, the next day they're gonna be five, and the next day gonna be eighteen, like our last person said. Just soak it in, man. Like, take the moment. It's gonna be rough, it's gonna be hard. Put your phone away and just soak it in. Be with your your lady and and just be present, man. That's what I would say. I wish somebody told me that.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:56

Yeah, that's really good. You have yours?

SPEAKER_07 1:26:00

I do have mine.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:01

Go for it.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:03

Um So we touched on it on this episode. Um but with my uh I don't know my bio dad. Um with my bio mom, I uh like I mentioned, all I all I really wanted was uh to know her. Um I missed out on uh a whole lot of uh presents with her, not gifts. I'm not talking about gifts, I'm talking about being present. And um even even when my wife was pregnant, I I heard a lot of you gotta do whatever you gotta do to provide. You gotta do whatever you gotta do to to be in her life. Is what I would tell myself. You gotta do whatever you gotta do to attend every uh every chess match. Do whatever you gotta do to attend every fishing trip, you gotta do whatever you gotta do to attend every soccer game, every volleyball, every spelling bee. Do whatever you gotta do to be in in their life. And that's what I'm working on with my daughter, is doing whatever I gotta do to be in her life, right? So if that's if that's dropping and and we don't have um my my wife loves to work. She loves her she really loves her job. So it's not that we don't have the the luxury um of being being at home or nothing like that. That's that's not a shade on anyone who stays at home. Um she actually loves her job. She loves the uh she works with uh kids with autism and she loves that. Um and so for me, I ha I have to drop her off at at daycare every morning. I gotta do whatever I gotta do to be okay with with dropping her off and picking her up and seeing her after a long day of work, um being happy and being present in her life, you know. Um because that ultimately presence is true provision. Presence will will provide sustainability, presence will provide love, presence will provide uh pride. Um when I say that I mean I mean she knows I'm proud of her because I'm I'm present, you know.

SPEAKER_08 1:28:38

Yeah, that's really good. I think mine would be a little bit of a synthesis between your two guys, and that um I think the whole like it goes by so fast and the do whatever you can to be present um really means that like like I had heard the advice, you know. The question is like what advice did you like never hear or whatever that you wish you did? Like I heard the advice, you know, like oh it's gonna fly by, you know, those those moments are gonna they're gonna pass in a in a wink of an eye. Oh, that's true. You know, it's like I heard a lot of that. I didn't believe it. Yeah. Like I did, you know, life like for somebody um in their in their teens and twenties and stuff, you know, it's really going super slow compared to now. Like an hour is like that now. Um and an hour used to be an eternity, yeah, you know, and um, and it's it's just I mean, we've spent well over an hour here, I'm sure, right? And I'm sure some people are like, oh, it's an eternity. No, but um they'll think that when he's in post. Yeah, he will. I didn't I didn't really understand, and so I didn't really fully believe how true it would be. Yeah, like you know, I had my 40th birthday recently, right? So um I go, well, okay. My grandfather lived to be 99. I get to live this life all the way over again, maybe, you know, Lord willing, uh, plus a few years. That's pretty exciting. So everything I've experienced, you know, time-wise, but I know now that I'm 40, that that next 40 years is gonna go in a blink of an eye. And so, like as a father, I think the advice I wish somebody had given me would be uh do it anyway. Like, like you you get home from work, there's something that your kid wants to do. There's something, like, there's some relational opportunity, whether it's a uh soccer game or a coloring with your kid, like, or uh, you know, throwing like rolling the ball with the two-year-old back and forth on the floor, or or you know, being out in the yard playing in the dirt or whatever, like, and you don't feel like doing any of those things. And you think, it's alright, I've worked hard, I've earned this, I'm just gonna go lie down, I'm just gonna go check out, I'm gonna go decompress, I'm gonna go relax. Maybe you need that if it's been super stressful and you're gonna be your worst version of yourself for that kid. Maybe you need a break to to have a transition, you know, of mind and soul and all that kind of stuff, uh, to get yourself in a frame of mind where you can do that. But I mean, my the advice I think I wish I had gotten was do it anyway. Like no matter how you feel, just do it anyway. Um, because every single one of those moments you will not regret having done. You will regret not having done it.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:41

That's so good. Yeah, and and so incredibly true. I don't know of a better way to end it, man.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:49

Man, Conrad, thank you for being here. Hey, cheers, fellas. I'm empty, but hey much love, boys. Um, it's been so good. That's that's uh bro. Wow.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:08

It's a pleasure. Thank you for the invitation, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:11

Of course, man. Check out Conrad Craft on YouTube. Dude, we maybe have some new stuff coming. I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:18

Hey, now I have to. Yeah, now you have to. We may be selling pipes to I will totally sponsor an episode. You tell me what I have to build, alright?

SPEAKER_02 1:32:27

Done. Done. We need 125 pipes. What did I sign up for?

SPEAKER_06 1:32:34

What am I sign up for? Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:36

The raffle gift.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:40

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:41

Hey, we still read over there.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:42

Just for my red.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:45

Red and red. All right. Thanks for tuning in to the Dead Co podcast. Best podcast in the world.

unknown 1:32:52

For dance.