Nobody Prepares You For This Part of Fatherhood | Ep. 7

This episode starts off exactly how you’d expect from DadCo—laughs, stories, interruptions, and absolute chaos—but underneath the humor is a conversation every dad can relate to.

The guys dive into the realities of fatherhood that nobody talks about enough: pressure, sacrifice, identity shifts, marriage challenges, exhaustion, and learning how to lead your family when you still feel like you’re figuring life out yourself.

From hilarious parenting moments to serious conversations about discipline, emotional growth, and becoming the kind of man your kids actually need, this episode is packed with honesty and perspective.

Whether you’re a new dad, future dad, or just trying to become a better man, this conversation hits deep.

⏱️ Timestamps

0:00 – Classic DadCo chaos 😂
2:00 – Catching up + recent dad moments
6:00 – The hardest adjustment after becoming a father
10:00 – Why nobody talks about the mental load dads carry
15:00 – Marriage changes after kids
19:00 – Feeling exhausted but still needing to show up
23:00 – Funny parenting fails & survival mode stories
28:00 – Learning patience the hard way
33:00 – Discipline vs relationship with your kids
38:00 – How your childhood affects your parenting
43:00 – The pressure men feel to provide
48:00 – Becoming emotionally available as a dad
52:00 – What kind of example are we setting?
56:00 – Advice for younger or future fathers
1:00:00 – Final thoughts + encouragement for dads

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:25

Do that a solid, honestly. Hey. Welcome to the Dad Co podcast, greatest podcast in the world.

SPEAKER_07 0:35

See, how you doing? How you doing?

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Do terrible. It's been a leak. No, honestly, uh, I'm glad to be alive, man. Glad to be alive because after today. Whew!

SPEAKER_07 0:46

Oh, you ain't lying. No.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

It's been a day. It's actually been it's been alright though. We had uh we had some technical difficulties, so here we are, moving on up.

SPEAKER_07 0:55

We did have technical difficulties. We just filmed for an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Yeah. And uh we got we got maybe the best podcast we ever had.

SPEAKER_07 1:02

For real. Literally. Tears everywhere. Tears everywhere. Uh and uh yeah, we got this, we got some new equipment and it failed us right away.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

It failed us immediately. Uh but it's good, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

I think I honestly this time's gonna be even better. I think second time around, we do better. Y'all don't know it, but we refilmed. There's only been six episodes, but we've done 25. 25 episodes. Y'all just haven't seen them yet because they're all been refilled.

SPEAKER_06 1:36

Alright, man, we got we got uh y'all see our lovely white Ikea chair here. It's empty. It's empty. It's empty, it's never been sat in before, and it's about to be sat in before.

SPEAKER_07 1:50

I can't do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

I can't do it, Trump was never been sat in before. I can do a bottom. It's the best chair in our third chair. Making his win! Best third chair we possibly could have ever had.

SPEAKER_07 2:08

Terrible. I know it. I can't do it. You know who can do that? Who? Our boy Tanny the bitch.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Dude, Tanny does so many great. We're gonna have him on.

SPEAKER_07 2:16

Tanny can do so well.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

He does carpet so well, dude. South Park Carmen. Yeah. So well. Okay, introduce your boy, bro. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 2:25

Welcome to the Echo Podcast, Corey Singer.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Corey!

SPEAKER_07 2:30

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

Dude, you are a handsome man. I gotta say, I like the broad shoulders. Look at this guy. This dude looks like he can bench 14 midgets. Look at that chest, dude.

SPEAKER_07 2:40

It's so corny that we have these uh little effects.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

Yeah, dude, what are you doing? It's also good. It's all so good. Dude, Clory, how you feeling, man? How you doing? Uh, I know it's your second time around. You're feeling good.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Yeah, no, I mean, it's great. I I joked when we finished the first one. I was like, hey, let's do it again. And now we have to. Yeah. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

A little more liquid courage, and we're gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Looked through everything and I said, oh, crap. I I'm actually just noticing that button on that board was green last time. It was? Yep, and it's red now, so it's red.

SPEAKER_07 3:14

That's our alternative. That's our secondary.

SPEAKER_03 3:17

And it's recording. So it's coming out no matter what. Our voices might not match, but it's gonna come out, bro. We might like look like Chinese language. We'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_07 3:26

All right, boys. Cheers. Uh cheers. Salute. Corey's technically been on the podcast twice now.

SPEAKER_06 3:35

Welcome back, Corey. Welcome back, Cory.

SPEAKER_07 3:39

Okay. Alright. Corey, why don't you tell us uh who you are?

SPEAKER_01 3:45

A little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

A little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yeah. So uh how many kids you got? Two kids. I almost said three. Two. Um got two kids. No, that's a good one. Well, we keep talking about the kids. You really looking. Maybe we'll have another one. We don't know. Yeah, we'll see what the Lord says. Um, yeah, so uh got two kids, a three-year-old and a almost eleven-month-old. So in the in the dog days of no sleep and all the fun stuff that comes with a three major.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

We all got like infants and around the same age, dude. And and he's the only one that's not suffering for no sleep. Me and you, bro. I haven't seen sleep in eight months. I don't even know what sleep. I got four hours on the average. This homeboy calling me, listen, it's my I'm I'm 10 hours in. Freaking loser, dude.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

It's been half a decade since I've seen that.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

No kidding, dude. So so you've been married how long, man? Uh since 2019, May 24th, 2019. How long have you been uh been together? Uh three years before that, so 20 2016. 2016.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Nice, nice spring.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

And what do you do, bro? Let's tell the audience what does Corey Singer do?

SPEAKER_01 4:55

What does Core Singer do? Corey Singer uh designs landscapes and does all the back office work for uh a landscaping company in Bulverdi Spring Branch that's a little bit north of San Antonio. And what's that company called? Uh it's called Singer Services. Uh Singer Services. Let's say something. You never seen it until you see Singer did it. Yeah. We're gonna make you a jingle before you come out.

SPEAKER_07 5:22

Can you move that that whiskey glass out of the way? What whiskey glass? Just a little bit. My uh deal.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

Oh, it's in the in the high.

SPEAKER_07 5:30

There you go, there we go. It's out. All right, my bad. My bad.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

Oh, I got it. Thank you. Okay, so you work for a landscape company. Tell us a little bit, how'd you guys get started? Who do you work with?

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Yeah, so um, you know, we we got started, someone from church actually, she was like, hey, you can you can mow our lawn. Um, and then you know, shortly after that, two other people said yes. So we started with three lawns, we're like, hey, you know, I can push a lawnmower around. Um, and you know, through you know, COVID was a huge boom for for the green industry and really home services, I'm sure as you know in general. Um, and we just, you know, being at the right place, right time, Comeau County, which is the county we're situated in, was one of the top ten growing counties in in America during that time as far as population growth. So uh we just rode the wave and you know, Lord's provision, good timing, right place. Um and now we're thankfully working for some really high-end home builders. Um they uh give us a lot of our work and uh get to do some really cool stuff with some really cool people. So that's been a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

And did you and correct me if I'm wrong, is it your brother you work with? Is there a yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

So he does all the sales, he's he's the he's the extrovert, the the real fun, you know, one who's really great with people. I'm really good at sitting behind a desk and making problems go away. And I'm okay at designing. I I want I again I've designed millions of dollars worth of landscape, but I am good enough. Yeah, yeah. Thankfully, we hired a new design.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

So my wife says to me every night, you good enough.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

You get the job done, you know. You get it done. You got it with it. It worked out.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

So, okay, you started with the super brother. So you literally started pushing lawnmowers. Absolutely. And like Miss Betsy down the street, hey, hey, hi, Miss Singer Boss.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Yep. That she is southern, she's from Tennessee. That is how she's I bet she wanted y'all to take your shirt off too while you mowed, huh? She she's known us from really young age. We did get offered that a lot, though. People would be like, Can I pay you 20 extra dollars? Take off your shirt? No way. Oh, uh, dude. And it's always older women. 100% I would, dude. Always. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

Old lady, listen to me. Old ladies, right now, if you need your lawnmower, you know, I'll do it shirtless. $20 is $20, but $20 is $20.

SPEAKER_06 7:42

$35.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

When you're trying to build a brand, build a professional company, you go, Yeah, yeah. You may not need that shirt off.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

That makes sense. So you started mowing lawns literally like from the get. Like, hey, I'm gonna go push a lawnmower, I'm gonna get it done, I'm gonna do it myself. And now, what's your average? So your average ticket did was like $20, $30, $40. Oh, yeah. What's your average ticket you think now is? Or let me ask you this. What's your biggest project uh revenue that you hit so far?

SPEAKER_01 8:09

We just finished a project in April, uh, and it was a residential install is our biggest job. It was a little over a quarter million dollars. Jeez, residential? Residential. You know, somebody's out there amazing people. Oh my gosh, they were the best to work with, too.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

You said quarter million dollars.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Hey, this is gonna be our last podcast. We're starting a landscaping business here in Texas called Dad's Old TD services.

SPEAKER_06 8:38

TD services.

SPEAKER_03 8:39

There you go. All right, yeah, that makes sense. I'll do it. Uh, dude, that's crazy. $250,000 for somebody's backyard and front yard.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

It it was yard fence, a lot of stonemasonry work. They had a pool that was 10 feet tall, and we built a bed all the way around. 10 foot back 10 feet down in the ground. So they they live on the edge of a hill, and so when you walk off the the hill, the house is seen on the room. Can you climb up to the pool? Well, yeah, you know, the stairs, you walk up a couple stairs, but at the end of the pool, it was a 10-foot drop.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Bro. No, it's a drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you said, I thought you said, dude, I thought you meant like, hey, you guys, let's get on this ladder.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

If you're standing on the ground, it was 10 foot from the ground to the top of the go out on your porch and the biggest.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

But when you're on your porch, it's downwards. Yeah, yeah. Okay, dude, because I was about to say, there's a lot of problems there, but yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

It was a big wall.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Dude, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_07 9:38

Hey, they do yards, not pools.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

Yeah, yeah. We don't do pulls. I do pulls. I do pulls. Cut hit him in the comments. You live in a Houston area. We do pulls all day. Do you? Yes.

SPEAKER_06 9:49

What's that face for, dude? I've never heard you you say you do pools.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

I'm gonna edit this out. Listen, we're done. I've done a hundred thousand pools. I've done all the pools in Houston. Dude, that's crazy. Okay, so $250,000. You went from pushing a lot more with your brother. Now, how does that relationship work? Who started the company? Was it your brother or you?

SPEAKER_01 10:09

So it was my brother. Is he older, younger? He is. He's two years older. Um, that's the worst, right? We started together, but I had to go back and finish school. He graduated college in 2017 when we started. I finished through uh the summer. I was his first employee. Um, I was cheap labor too.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

How much do you get paid?

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Well, it was $15 an hour, but it was only when we were on site. So, you know, we go mow a lawn over here for 20 minutes, drive 30 minutes to the other side of town, mow a lawn. You know, I could I could be gone in the truck for 12 hours and get paid for like four.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

What's the most shady brothershift thing I've ever seen in my life?

SPEAKER_01 10:45

I came up with it. He didn't fight me on it, and I didn't, you know, I didn't think too much of it. I was like, whatever, I I agreed to this.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Just for a summer fifteen dollars an hour, but you get paid three hours a day after driving around for eight.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Pretty much. I'm still living at home. Like I, you know, I didn't want anything. You're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Yo, that's crazy. I hope now you're getting paid a little more, huh? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 11:11

I I Yeah, it's doing a little bit better. A little better. Yeah, he's doing a little better. A little better. You guys just did a job for like Simpson Racing, right? You did New Simpson.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yeah, um, in New Bromfels. I I didn't know they were situated there, but I didn't either until you told me today.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Yeah, shout out to the Simpson and New Bromfels, best place on earth. Go ahead. New Bromfels was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

But uh yeah, they they they wanted zero scaping or they just wanted landscape that didn't take any maintenance in front of their building, and uh my brother jokingly was like, put their logo out there, and so I did it, and they loved it. So we just finished that yesterday. Uh, and honestly, it looks really, really cool.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Dude, that's pretty exciting. Okay, so so how long have you been married? Oh gosh, again, May 2019.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

So I'm not great at math unless it's in a spreadsheet session. Because it's a math issue, not a memory issue. Exactly. May 24th, 2019. I know it.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Yeah, so a while. Yeah. So 2019, okay, okay, so this math is making sense. So 2017 you started the company, 2019 you're married, you were with her for three years. So she's seen you from the beginning of this thing.

SPEAKER_08 12:13

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

And and sees you now, sees you from the pushing the lawnmower, driving that hoop D. Just a lawn guy. That was my favorite. That was my favorite thing. $45 an hour. Yeah. Or day rather. Day. $45 a day. And then now $250,000 residential.

unknown 12:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

That's crazy, dude. Well, that that's really exciting. So you've been married since 2019. You got two babies. Yep. Tell us a little bit about your childhood. Like who, where'd you grow up? How'd you grow up? Would you grow up in a church? Did you grow up in were you a little hoodlum? How did it work out? Little hood rat.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

I am about is, you know, just uh opposite of a hood rat. I mean boring is the easiest way to describe it. My parents were great. They they they loved us well.

SPEAKER_03 13:00

No, there's something wrong with them. We're gonna find out in this podcast. You stick around.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Uh my my mom was a pastor of a church, still is of a decent church. Um and I I was bound and determined to not be the pastor's kid who like, you know, PK didn't exactly PK did everything under the sun. Um so no, my brother and I both, you know, straight arrows, didn't didn't go party any of that stuff. Um our dad, he was very much like, do what we expect of you, and you know, come home and you know, our name means something, so act as if our name carries some weight.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

That's so good. I do love my kids right now, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Yeah, it's it's good, it sticks with me today. Um and so no, I mean, you know, my parents loved us well. We they went through their struggles, you know, they lost jobs, changed things, stuff happened. Uh, but you know, they never really let us know it. They did a really good job of protecting us from that. Um, so you know, amazing upbringing. I can't I cannot speak highly enough of my parents, but we grew up in San Antonio uh about the time I started kindergarten. We we uh moved where they still live now, um, in Bulverdi Spring Branch, north of uh San Antonio.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

You said Bulvordi?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

Bulverti.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Texan got some huge.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Bovordi. You said Bulvordi?

SPEAKER_03 14:20

I grew up in humble, spelled like humble. Humble. There's a lot of those dumb names.

SPEAKER_07 14:26

Why don't you sit down and be humble, bro?

SPEAKER_03 14:28

Hey, why don't you sit down and get a hat on, yeah?

SPEAKER_07 14:30

Because you looking rough, dude. I asked my wife earlier, I said, do I need a hat? She said, no.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

You know what she did to you? You know what? You know what happened there, right? Yeah. Yeah, she lied to you. Yeah, she did me dirty. Because you need a hat. You need may need a couple hats. But what are you talking about, dude? Anyway, this is about Cory, bro. Mind your business. It's not about me. It's about being a good dad. It's about being being present. Um, no, dude. Okay, okay. So you've been married a while. Uh, you said your parents were were they they still together?

SPEAKER_01 14:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

Because honestly, that's unheard of nowadays, so you gotta find out.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

No, I mean, um, it wasn't always sunshine and rainbows. Like, my my dad, again, an amazing man. I cannot speak highly of him enough. Like, he was a very angry man as his father was before him. So, you know, he was.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

I feel like a lot of dads probably struggle. Like my dad had anger issues about it too, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

I mean, yeah, honestly, I take that back. My dad, if my dad did have anger issues, I didn't see it much, but but I could I know and it was reverence enough to see that he could get angry, and that was enough. Does that make sense? Yeah, it was yeah, exactly. It was respect, it wasn't like a fear thing, it was like, I don't want to, I don't wanna make that bad.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Yeah, exactly. So, um, no, good upbringing. Um my my mom, like I said, she worked in a church, so you know, she was always leading us spiritually, and and you know, I can remember coming downstairs and you know, she's watching Joyce Meyer and and reading her Bible. So that'd be loud. Uh yeah, no, I mean I've I've given her some craft about Joyce Meyer and that whole whatever that channel was of all the prosperity gossip. TV should be banned from television. That was almost always on in my house growing up, but um no, it was always good to see my mom, you know, sitting there in the word. Um, and and you know, I could I could tell that that meant a lot to her. Yeah, I think that got passed down to me.

SPEAKER_07 16:20

What was it what was it like? Uh uh what about your dad? How did he fit into that like kind of ministry picture?

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Um again, good good man, just solid man. I can't, I don't think I've ever seen him read a Bible, like always been president in church, made it a point to take us to church. Um, you know, hardly ever missed a Sunday growing up. Uh he sang in the choir. So like you know, not that he was against uh Christianity or anything like that. Right. Um he just never expressed it outwardly, if that makes sense, through like reading a Bible. You know, again, always we sang worship music in the car. Um, you know, I he professed his faith to us. Like I knew he was a Christian, but I I wouldn't say he was the spiritual leader in our home.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

Do you think that we we're getting a little deeper now, but do you feel like that's something you wanted? Or do you feel like that's something like hey, you know, my dad did his role? And again, I I don't I wanna I want to tread lightly, do you because it's your father?

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah, and and yeah, I I think he he loved us well. He he showed us, you know, how we were supposed to be as men and as followers of Christ. Um I I think at this point I'm even noticing it with my son. Like I'm not necessarily the spiritual leader of my house, partly because I'm hardly ever there because I'm working, but yeah, um my wife's a children's pastor, so obviously my son gets to see her in that light. But I mean, for example, I was uh I was moving some stuff around the house, cleaning up the the living room area, and I was moving my wife's Bible from the couch, like just up onto the mantle, and he goes, Hey, that's that's mommy's Bible. I was like, Yeah. And then I kind of sat there and thought, I was like, I don't think I don't think he's ever seen me read my Bible. If I held it up, I'd I don't know if he'd recognize it.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

In your defense though, your Bible's on your phone now, so maybe that's why.

SPEAKER_07 18:14

Yeah, yeah, but there's some there's something about that hardcover, you know what I mean? Yeah, like should have been on your head, hardcover on your head or anything. Uh bruh. I mean, what would the Dadco podcast be without Thomas and Dustin flaming each other? Uh yeah, dude. I mean, you just I mean you gotta you just reminded me, like, I gotta go I gotta go find my Bible, bro.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

Honestly, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 18:41

Because to your point, it's on my phone. I mean, I've got I've got my daily uh reminders and everything, like I've got my devotional and everything. Like, I'm in the word. It's just it's digital. Like, do I would I even know if we had some this like kind of a weird thought, but we had some like global shutdown, like would I even know where to go grab my hardcover? I don't know where it's at.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Yeah, you're a heathen, dog. You need to get that worked out. No, no, Joe. No, you're exactly right though. Like, people, like, where's my Bible? I've been on the same this is so funny. I've been on the 90 day, read your Bible 90 days for two years now.

SPEAKER_06 19:23

I've been on it for uh what 32 years, bro.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

Like, okay, go back, go back, go back, so it doesn't look like I'm failing all the time. But no, I I I totally understand where you're coming from. Like there's there's something when that little eyes see and they notice things, and they they there's that little bit of uh what's the word? Um revelation that happens in her eyes, and you're like um yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

I was just gonna say, you know, I feel like even in business and especially in like fatherhood, more things are caught than taught. Like I can tell him as he's getting older today. You're good, you're good. Um as he's getting older, I can tell him to read his Bible and I can tell him how important that is. But if he never sees me do it, well then it's it's just words. Yeah, it's pointless. So yeah, I I just I I know I know me personally. I need to get more into the physical word in his presence.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

That's good though. Yeah, that's great. That's so good. Well, Corey, I appreciate the vulnerability. Uh, you got some questions I think we need to get some answers. I'm gonna be warning y'all, I'm gonna warn y'all right now. These are these are these are rough, dude. We don't know how we're gonna handle it, but we're gonna get through it together.

SPEAKER_07 20:35

We'll get through it. Okay, Corey, what parenting phase is harder right now? Toddler or baby? Stupid question. Toddler. It's it's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

So my brother, he also has like literally three weeks older than my youngest. Yeah. Um, you know, he'll give me crap all the time. Just be like, just put her down, or you know, just do this. I'm like, bro, I got a three-year-old paying off something in the background. Like, hey, does he have the other kids?

SPEAKER_03 21:00

No, that's only what's your brother's name?

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Tyler.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Tyler, shut up, dude. Tyler, look at me. Look at me in my eyes. Shut up, dude. You get a toddler, you should talk. And so you get a toddler, bro. Shut up, dude. Go ahead. I'm doing that for you because you can't do it.

SPEAKER_07 21:15

It's your brother.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

I don't even but yeah, no, I mean it's it's toddlers or just something else. They can slam doors, they can climb, they can walk, they can talk, they can talk back to you, they can yell at your wife. It's there's just so much.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Yo, one time, one time my top one of my I have four kids. One of my kids, I'm not gonna say which one because they're gonna read this one day, took off this is gonna be a braille. I don't know what's it. AI summary. They're gonna listen to this. And one of the kids, I can't say, 'cause I got one daughter, took off their diaper, threw it at me, and then looked at me like, What you gonna do? What you gonna do? And they're so fat, you try to get them, and then they're like Light like little leprechauns, they just disappear and you don't know where they went, they just go away. There's more agility, they can hit corners, bro. They hit corners so hard. Like when I was playing football, I was like, I can't do what you're doing right now. He's like, juking me. Anyway, back to your point.

SPEAKER_07 22:14

Wild. Toddlers are so much harder, dude. So much harder. I'm just trying to imagine, like, your brother trying to freaking give you ice right now, bro.

SPEAKER_06 22:23

Like you you had a kid, bro. And he's like, Listen, bro, this is what you need to do.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

I'm a big brother. You do this.

SPEAKER_06 22:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

Shut up, Tyler.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

It's good.

SPEAKER_07 22:34

Like, I love, I love Tyler. Yes, yeah, he means well. No, but I'm just imagining.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

Keep the mouth shut, bro. I'm saying this for him. He can't say it to you. I'm saying it to him. You're about to beat me up. I don't know. I'm gonna calm down.

SPEAKER_06 22:44

Tyler's Tyler will beat you up for sure, bro. No, I got some jujitsu. Jiu-jitsu. I got some jujitsu.

SPEAKER_07 22:51

I gotta have jujitsu. I'll roll around with you.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

I roll. I'll roll I'll fold up in the fondle. Oh, they should have said that.

SPEAKER_07 22:58

Fondle?

SPEAKER_03 22:58

Yeah, bro. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 22:59

Fondle? Is that a jujitsu move?

SPEAKER_03 23:01

Jiu Jitsu's the gayest sport in the world. You not know that? Have you seen the video of what are you gay?

SPEAKER_05 23:06

What are you gay? That guy, he's like, Jiu-jitsu is gay. Jiu Jitsu. It's the gay as well.

SPEAKER_03 23:13

Roll the clip. It's also super gay when you get beat up by a jujitsu guy because he's like talking to you, like, hey, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 23:20

You know what they say. If one dude can hold you down, he can rape you. So he can let's cut that out.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

He can are you. Where were we, dude? What are we doing right now?

SPEAKER_07 23:32

I don't know. You know what I just thought of though? What?

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Do you I don't like how this is going right now. I already don't like your face. What do you say?

SPEAKER_07 23:42

Uh have you ever seen the grape video? Yes. Which one? The grapest. I'm gonna grape you.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Whitest kids you know.

SPEAKER_07 23:51

I'm gonna grape you in the mouth. It it was literally like a gra like some commercial for a grape drink.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

So it's it's a skit. Whitest kids you know, it's like the whole skit show. And like the skit is they're presenting this new kids drink in a boardroom, and it's it's like the mascot is I'm the grapest. And like the the end of it is I'm gonna chain you to the radiator and grape you in the mouth. Oh my they allow this? Well, it gets it's dude. Whitest kids you know best skit.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

He's looking it up right now. I do not want to watch a graping video, bud. No, I'm chronically.

SPEAKER_07 24:29

We're gonna quickly react to this video.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Okay, let's listen to it.

SPEAKER_07 24:37

What the crap is that, bro?

SPEAKER_03 24:39

What do you why is there a picture of your house?

SPEAKER_07 24:44

It's not my house, bro. It's not my house. It's not my house. I still got music playing. My bad. My bad. This is turning into something I don't want to.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

Hey, we've never done this before, people. In case you haven't noticed.

SPEAKER_07 24:56

Alright, alright, alright.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

I haven't seen this in like a decade.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

Might I suggest pop the grapeflash? The new soda from Johnson and Hedges. Oh my kids! Because I'm gonna grape you!

SPEAKER_05 25:25

That was terrible! He's going to what them in the mouth? He's going to grape them.

SPEAKER_04 25:34

Yeah. In the mouth.

SPEAKER_05 25:36

Oh my god, dude. Right. And we're good.

SPEAKER_06 25:39

There's more.

SPEAKER_05 25:40

No, I I'm sorry. Uh well, I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with the catchphrase, I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_07 25:48

We don't have to keep watching that, to be honest.

SPEAKER_05 25:51

Grape you, dude.

SPEAKER_07 25:52

Yeah, isn't that crazy? That's crazy. You gotta you gotta go home and watch the full. Just watch it later.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

I think I don't. I think I'm gonna avoid it.

SPEAKER_05 26:02

Yo, grape you? Uh what is going on? Um question.

SPEAKER_07 26:09

I don't even know. You asked about toddlers. What's what's the toddler or the baby, which is harder? Which is the toddler. We got through all that. So I have another question. What's the most irrational thing your three-year-old has ever had a melt meltdown over?

SPEAKER_03 26:22

Oh, dude, I got a list. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Melt there's a long list. Um, I think the biggest one for me, and it led to a very bad dad moment, but I just we're potty training. I was like, dude, just please, please sit on the toilet. It was like a long day. Apparently, he was having a rough day with my wife, and um, oh my gosh, he just would not sit down on the toilet, and it just like I I blew up on him because it was ten minutes of just please get on the toilet. Um and yeah, it just you know, like I said, led to probably the worst, worst dad moment I've had um as yeah, up to this point. Um for you know, y'all y'all don't know this, but my son, he he doesn't deal well with loud noises. Um and so we were in a confined space um in the bathroom, and you know, it's probably the loudest I've ever yelled at somebody. And so um you know, not obviously not not an excuse on my part. I I profusely apologize to him afterwards, but man, these kids will just throw anything at you and just lose their mind over anything.

SPEAKER_07 27:30

So, how did you deal with that like after the fact? I you know like with that worst dad moment, how did you how did you handle that?

SPEAKER_01 27:39

I I got down on my knees and I I begged his forgiveness and most of the time, like I actually every other case but that case, he would like sheepishly, you know, forgive me, but in that moment he was so hurt that like he he literally wouldn't even wouldn't even say that he forgave me. And like he didn't want anything to do with me, wouldn't give me a hug, like just wanted his mom. Um so yeah, that was that was a really bad dad moment.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

I I think I can I can there's very few of them, but I can kind of one hand some of those moments for me as well. And bro, nothing guts you more than than seeing your kid afraid. And then and afraid not because of you, not because not because of any other reason. Like it's different if he's afraid and you come to rescue, or he's afraid and you come and soothe him or help him through it, but yeah, to cut him down, and like you say, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

I'm I'm supposed to be the source of protection and comfort. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, screwed the pooch there.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

Well, luckily you're gonna have so many more times to screw up, but also also so many more times to to make right. Uh and being that he's he said three, two, yeah, almost four. Almost four. Yeah, I have uh my oldest is 11, about to be 12, and let me tell you, um I've had plenty of opportunities to to mess it up more, and I have plenty of opportunities to make it right, so it'll get better. But anyway, next question, bro. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 29:10

Man, uh Thomas, just uh real quick, bro. You talking about your your boy. There's a there's a moment that I think about a lot. Um, you know, talking about, you know, you're gonna have more moments screwing up and all that. You're gonna have moments you're gonna cherish. There's a moment that I cherish while watching you with your boy, and that was your wedding day. Um just getting him like ready, you know. His ties just like over you know, he tried to do it himself, right? His his uh collars up like Johnny Cash, you know, like he's he's yeah, yeah, popping that collar. And uh you just you just started helping him like just look so dapper, you know, helping him with his tie and stuff, and and I was I was like watching you, and I think about this a lot, dude. I don't I don't even know why, but I I do think about it a lot. It comes to my mind a lot. Um it's just one of my favorite moments with you is is watching you be so gentle with that dude, man. And and uh I think at the time I was uh not making this moment about me, but like I think at the time I was going through stuff, and so just watching you like be a good dad was was something really special.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Thanks, man. Yeah, bro. What's crazy about that day too is and and we'll get uh I'm I can't say much yet, but hopefully, hopefully soon I can get more into it. But I didn't even know if I was gonna get the kids that day. I've I have three kids from a previous marriage and uh a lot of drama going on, and I didn't know until the day of and you were the I think you were the only one there. It's just me and you. I was in the groomsman suite weeping, not knowing if my kids are gonna show up on the wedding day, and my oldest is gonna be my best man, and my and my youngest boy was gonna be my ring bearer, and my daughter was gonna be a flower girl, and I didn't know if they were gonna show up or not. And dude, it was it was an intense day. Like, not just because I married the most beautiful, lovely woman of all my life, but also because like I didn't know my kids are gonna be there. So Yeah. Thank you for that, bro. That's that was a good good memory.

SPEAKER_07 31:29

It's it's a good memory. Um, alright, we're we actually have a video that uh a follower of ours have asked us to watch. I um I forgot about it on the last episode. But uh there's on the last episode. What I mean is when we filmed a a little bit ago. Um and so uh he's asked us to watch it blind me. I'm gonna be honest. I've already watched it.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Uh should I be honest too, or not?

SPEAKER_07 32:02

We'll just be honest. We try we we already filmed. So, Jason.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

Jason, you're a terrible person.

SPEAKER_07 32:08

You're yeah, freaking we're gonna have to watch this again because I I think our viewers are definitely gonna love what we have to say about this, and it's gonna help some people. But dude, you suck.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

Dude, I literally told both of these guys after we did it, I was like, let's not do that again. Let's why is that why are we putting ourselves through this?

SPEAKER_07 32:29

And now we have to do it again. So anyway, you asked us to watch it blindly. I am so sorry you're getting you're not gonna get our probably raw reaction. Although you may still get that raw reaction because it's a crazy video. So uh yeah. Here we go. Um we're gonna watch the dying thing.

SPEAKER_09 32:52

I'm really, really proud of you. I'm sorry for the shampoo that I came here, please.

SPEAKER_07 32:58

Like literally two seconds in.

SPEAKER_05 33:03

Okay, okay. Deep breaths.

SPEAKER_07 33:05

Alright.

SPEAKER_09 33:08

Forgive me. Please forgive me. Please forgive me. I was emotionally and verbally abusive. I used you as a container for my rage. The rage against my own father. I cursed God that he gave me sons because of the rage that I had.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

God gave me sons. Bro, that's a That's a statement. D, I know uh I know you could probably talk a bit more on this, because uh there's been some struggles with your mom, maybe your dad, and and I also know there's been some there's been some great things too, so you wanna hit on that?

SPEAKER_07 36:19

Yeah, man. Uh yeah, that was easier. I've I've I watched that before you guys last time, and I think this is the fourth time I've watched that, and it's it just pulls on so many strings. Just so many things that I that I that I could respond to there. Uh Man, I I I think the main thing that sticks out to me about this video and about my story and the story of of so many people um is that there's there's an obvious assumption that he never forgot about how she made him feel. It's an obvious assumption that he remembered everything. And uh, like I remember it, I remember everything. And it plays in my head on repeat. The enemy uses that to play in my head on repeat because I'm walking through the this very thing. I'm walking through forgiveness with my with my bio mom. Um if you if you've just recently started tuning into this pod, um I know so many people have have uh stories that are uh we all have our own story, right? Um and uh I've been I've been through a lot. And uh I started this process quite a few years ago of forgiving my biological mother. I was I was in the foster system due to addiction. Uh she lost her boys. I have a brother. Uh she lost her boys due to addiction. Um and uh we went through separation. Went through so many foster homes. Uh led into my own addictions, all kinds of all kinds of stuff there to fill this hole of uh a mom and ended up uh actually meeting her as a teenager and and uh uh not meeting, we rekindled, right? 'Cause in if you don't understand how foster care works, there's there's visitation and all that stuff. So but uh eventually I was cut off due to her addiction and she showed back up when I was a teenager and and uh we had a good time. Well spare the details.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

But I think it's important to know too that she's she's trying harder. Yeah, definitely. No, she's and it's cool.

SPEAKER_07 39:23

She's she's trying. And uh so I'm walk I'm I've been walking through this forgiveness thing and and um it's a daily decision. Um you know what's crazy the this this continues to stick out to me is uh in that video is her reaction to um uh her unknowing of what her boy was going through. Right. Yeah. She had her own struggles, she had her own things she was going through, and in the midst of that that boy was was going through hell. Um and uh it was unbeknownst to her. Yeah, you know, um and so sometimes I think I think we go through life, especially when you have gone through something and you are a real victim, it's easy to continue to victimize yourself. Yeah, and I have had to step away from that in my own life. I had to I had to step away and realize uh my mom is a human and she's struggling with things that I can't comprehend. And so for me to be okay, I have I've gotta walk through forgiveness, whatever that looks like, no matter how hard it is, and no matter how how rough it gets, you know. And we talk um not all the time, but we talk, and when we do, it's it's uh it it actually um does something to my soul that I don't know how to express, but heal something is uh healing that takes place. So anyway, it's really important. Forgiveness is something that uh yeah um Yeah thank you for sharing that man.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

Who who said this video again?

SPEAKER_07 41:29

Uh this this guy named Jason.

SPEAKER_03 41:32

Jason, you you're you're a piece of trash, bro. How dare you do this, dude? What are you doing, bro?

SPEAKER_07 41:43

Uh yeah, Jason asked us to blindly react to that.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

Yeah, why would you do that, dog? Um, okay, well, your turn, bud. Yeah, um I I got a feeling too, and and we talked a little bit about this last time, but I got a feeling too there's some parts in there that you could really relate to. And and I know it's hard to especially as men to resurface emotions that are already hard to to express. But uh pretend there's no cameras, pretend there's we're not here, but but tell us again what what resurfaced for you watching that.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

The the words you were a container for my rage. Um I think it's so easy as a dad to let all the things that we deal with, you know, work, finances, um, just trying to hold it all together, you know, we we carry the weight of the world on our back sometimes. And it's if we're not careful, it's really easy to unload all that on our kids. And and they don't deserve that. It's so wrong. Um and and honestly, like talking to myself, it's it's despicable the way that I have cast that on my son. Um, and unfortunately, that's that's something that I now see play out and the way he talks to my wife, and the way that he talks to and even sometimes physically hurts his sister. Um me in an unhealthy place has planted a seed in him that bears fruit that I don't want to see in either of us. And I I can't take that back. So now I have to do the work in me to not model that behavior for him and and remind him that it's not okay. Um But man, is it just a mirror, you know?

SPEAKER_08 43:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 43:46

What what steps do you feel like you're taking to kinda combat that that reactive nature?

SPEAKER_01 43:56

The first thing is is like coming home And not bringing anything in the door. I have to come your head and and be be sober-minded. Um Lord calls us to be sober-minded. So I have to walk in, doesn't matter what happened in the day, because that's not my son's fault, it's not my wife's fault, what happened to me that day. So I have to walk in sober-minded and be the anchor, the rock, the the lighthouse in my household to make sure that my family feels loved, protected, and like like we said earlier, God, God forbid, like how how dare I be the thing that is hurting and scaring my child instead of protecting.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

And it's so hard to do too, because you're like you're trying to find out is he just exploring his feelings, or is this part of me, or is this something I shown him? And it's uh it's rough, do you think?

SPEAKER_01 44:53

You know, the the world the world tells us, you know, feel your feelings, you know, don't don't hide yourself, don't uh be unapologetically you and obviously the Bible speaks mostly against that. Sure. Um if you believe that, then if you don't, it's on you. Yeah. Um so so yeah, it's it's it's tough to say where do I draw the line? Do I do I say, hey, this is a three-year-old and he's overstimulated right now? Um, or do I correct behavior? And obviously there's some things that are you know non-negotiable, hurting his sister, you know, being blatantly disrespectful to to his mom, those those things I won't tolerate. But yeah, when he when he pops off at me and and is angry, like who who am I to say you can't do that? Because I've I've I've taught I've shown him that.

SPEAKER_03 45:51

Yeah, I've given you the algorithm on how to be this person. Yeah, yeah. That's so well I think I think what it did with me, man, is uh I had the remarkable privilege of having two moms, right? My biological mom, which which is was a wonderful person, beautiful person inside out, could sing. Uh I have so many funny she she's probably if I have any kind of humor at all, if you see anything in humor at all, it's definitely from her. She was hilarious. Um and then I have my my stepmom, who I call my mom because she's been such a rock in my life, such a solid, solid force. Um I I feel I feel the extraordinary honor just to say if she is watching, how much I love you, and how much I just want to say, D, that it without you, uh my life would be remarkably different and uh in in the worst way possible. So um I'm so glad you're in my life. I love you so much. And uh but what I got from that was uh my my biological mom is gone. Right? She's not gonna see my my youngest son's first birthday. She's not gonna see my oldest son's graduation day. She didn't get to see my wedding day and my wife now, like like those things are gone. And if I can take something away from that moment is yes, forgiveness, but also listen, just call your mom, bro. Talk to her. Say, hey, how are you doing? How's life? I love you. Because it's so easy for us to to dismiss it. It's so easy for us to put it on a put on a back burner, but call your mom, man. Because tomorrow's not promise, and she she may not be there tomorrow. So I just want to say that to everybody. Love you. Here we are. Next question, bro. What is it what are we doing?

SPEAKER_07 47:53

Making me cry again, bro. Texted my mom again.

SPEAKER_05 48:02

What is he on tonight? Yeah. My mom's like, what is going on?

SPEAKER_02 48:06

Whiskey hidden definitely.

SPEAKER_06 48:07

She's like, are you okay?

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. Okay, Jason, again, you're a POS. Oh my gosh. You're a terrible person. We banned you from the podcast, actually. You're you're no longer alone.

SPEAKER_07 48:22

Blocked. Blocked. Immediately blocked.

SPEAKER_03 48:25

Straight to jail.

SPEAKER_07 48:26

Straight to jail. Man, there's I think there's something that I want to touch on there. Just uh gonna add to this topic. Like um if you are struggling with unforgiveness for any parental figure in your life, whether uh whatever it looks like, if you're struggling with unforgiveness, I just encourage you to kinda walk through that mud. It's uncomfortable, it's heavy, it's not easy, but uh the uh the outcome and the breakthrough that you will experience in your life, um like I can't even express the breakthrough you would experience if you just kind of walk through that forgiveness. Um like T, I I want to get to a place where um I'm whole enough where and I'm healed enough where I I can like bring my daughter around my my bio mom, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I um I know you just touched on how yours will never be able to, but just there's a reality that I still have that opportunity. Yeah. And I love I and I if my um if my mom, I know this is gonna get confusing if you're just listening and and watching, but if if my mom, the woman who raised me, is watching this, like I I freaking love you. Um I would not be where I am today without you. Um but there's still that sense in me, there's still that hole in me that I gotta I gotta figure out with with my bio mom, you know? Yeah, um, and I have to do that for me, and it's not for anyone else. Um because sometimes I'm not okay sometimes I'm not okay. Sure. And uh I want to be okay. So walk through that mud because the breakthrough you'll experience is is gonna blow your mind.

SPEAKER_03 50:35

Amen, brother. Amen, brother. Right, right off the bat, brother, and you make fun of me. That's awesome. I was being nice to you. And he goes, Amen, brother. Freaking goofy head bookworm. Okay, listen, uh, I got a question for you, Cory. We're going back to you, because this is all a bit about us, and I don't understand why. Uh bad producing, I guess, right, Dustin? Okay, so you mentioned you mentioned corporal punishment a little bit. You mentioned like uh well, you didn't really mention it, but you touched on a little bit. Are you are you down with the the paddle spankings, corporal punishment if necessary?

SPEAKER_01 51:15

A little bit of background. My my grandpa and my dad. My my dad got beat with a sauna off baseball bat. Like my grandpa had a lathe.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

I'm gonna lie. It's like my dad got beat with a shotgun, but my grandpa he had a lathe.

SPEAKER_01 51:37

He literally put a wooden baseball bat through it, and it was called the board, and that's what my dad got spanked with, and that's what we got spanked with. That's abuse, my dad.

SPEAKER_02 51:49

I gotta beat with a baseball bat. That's what you're told.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

And by God, it worked. Because after that, I was like, I don't like this. I don't I don't want to act this way anymore.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

You didn't mean the space ball, but I don't mind that either, bro.

SPEAKER_01 52:03

So, but you know, people can argue about this verse all they want, but I do believe that spare the rod, spoil the child is talking about discipline and physically spanking in this instance. I you know, I'm not beating him for every little thing under the sun, but absolutely I'm I'm spanking his butt. Well, you're not beating him at all. Look, the kid is stubborn. Like, I I'm against child abuse in all forms. He's got no baseball bats. No, he doesn't have to be. No belts with spikes, none of that stuff. No, no. Anyone who abuses a child should have joking about to make a light. Um yeah, no, but he he gets his butt spanked pretty pretty hard when he really pushes it.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

Sure. So and I I'd be interested to see how people react to that because I feel like uh this is a hot topic. Yeah, like I and I feel like I in my position is it's kind of like what Jesus said, um, I'm gonna forgive you 70 times seven, right? Um what he didn't say is I'm gonna forgive you forever. He put a number on it. But the number was so vast that we can't really comprehend it. And I I feel like that's kind of how that's kind of how um any kind of physical punishment should be. It's like, hey, you're gonna get it, like you said, you got it three times in your life. Like if I I can't remember the last time I had to give it to my boy, maybe three times in their life. But that but that little bit of time did its trick and it did what it needed to do. So uh yeah, I'd be interested. Please comment and tell us what you feel about Legal Promise.

SPEAKER_07 53:43

Well, and it's it's not it's not that just because they do something bad they get a SWAT. Yeah. It's that's not where our beliefs are on this. It's you don't want them to end up on the s on on the streets being a hood rat, you know? Like and it and it it it it if they are on the streets being hood rats. Sorry. Wait to save that though. Wait.

SPEAKER_06 54:10

Yeah, I I guess that's I guess that's on you? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 54:16

But you're about to say you could tell you you can tell when a kid isn't isn't spanked. Like in the middle of your hand.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

You know how many movies I've been in that I'm like, uh I'll do it for you. Yeah. Listen, bro, I'll take care of it. You just pay me $20. $20. Tired of listening to it. Uh but also my kids have also been the ones that are like, I know people around me is like, you're you're doing a terrible job parenting. You know what I mean? Like the kid that just throws his head back and it's like, my kid's done that before, so I can't hate too much about it.

SPEAKER_07 54:51

We talked about that recently, the gentle parenting thing. Yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_03 54:55

Like, how far is gentle?

SPEAKER_07 54:57

There's a time in a place for sure.

SPEAKER_03 54:59

Yeah, I do. I think there is, but I also think there's like it needs to be a last resort. And here's the most important thing. There needs to be a discussion after. 100%. Like my wife. My wife is like, we haven't had that up, like my kid's turning one, so he doesn't even understand what physical punishment is yet, so it wouldn't make sense. But it's coming very quickly. When it when it does come, like it's I I need him to be able to understand the the why yeah, the why. Why this is happening.

SPEAKER_07 55:30

And that you're still loved, you're cherished, you know, there's a there's a reason this is happening. Sure. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 55:36

Now also to get beat by a baseball bat, but that's pretty interesting, bro.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

That's crazy. It worked on me. It didn't work on my brother. He he got clearly Tyler Shut up, dude. Well, again, there are a lot of positive traits about my brother, and I noticed that.

SPEAKER_07 55:53

It just feels crazy knowing your brother and Thomas just out here talking so much on him.

SPEAKER_03 55:59

He's probably like 6'6, like a freaking muscle bird.

SPEAKER_01 56:03

I I can see depending on it. Like 6'2, 6'3. He's he's six foot.

SPEAKER_03 56:07

Sorry, bro, I got a six-something brother too, so I ain't scared time. Shut up, bro.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

It's just funny because like there's a lot of similarities between my brother and my son. Like, I joke that I'm raising my brother. Um, but again, there's a lot of good things that I hope he does emulate after my brother. But man, is is one of them just the hard-headedness? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's what it's what's made my brother a wildly successful entrepreneur. Is like the dude will just run into the wall as many times as it takes.

SPEAKER_03 56:37

But as much as he's probably like hard to deal with, I bet you too. Like, like I know my brothers, like, if I need them for anything, they're like Oh, 100%. The the best example is like you ever seen the movie The Town? Yeah, yeah. You know, you know exactly that what I'm gonna talk about. It's like it's like whose car are we taking? Like, like it's it's it doesn't, it's not even a conversation. Like, if I need them, I can call them. But I also want to strangle them sometimes, and I'm the baby, right? That's harder to do, and they have big necks because they're bigger guys.

SPEAKER_07 57:06

It was interesting seeing that dynamic.

SPEAKER_03 57:08

Yeah, yeah. I love my brothers though. They're they're they're solid men, yeah, good dudes, good dudes, good dudes. And so is Tyler. Tyler, I'm just joking, bro. Please don't come and kill me. But also, shut up, you know what I mean? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_07 57:22

Good night, bruh. Okay. Oh, what part of fatherhood surprised you the most? Oof.

SPEAKER_01 57:34

The part of fatherhood that surprised me the most was how much I would look at my son when he was like still in that about one-year-old stage, maybe you know, one to two, somewhere in there, and you know, he'd be overtired, throwing a fit, just like in his own mess, you know, done pooped himself. And I just sit here and think, Man, why are you acting like a fool? Like this, you're just this small little creature that just won't listen and and doesn't know what's best for him. Yeah. And the sobering reality was how many times does God look at me that way? Just think, hey, like, I'm trying, I'm trying to do what's good for you. Like, I I have what is best for you on my heart. I'm thinking of you, and yet here you are going back to all your messes and creating these situations that that you don't have to go through if you just listen to me, if you just abide in me and and and and take solace in me. Um, so yeah, I mean that that was the most surprising thing to me. I I it it's a good perspective. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:46

That's so good. That's so good. I don't have nothing to say about that. That's nothing to say.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

That's that's rare too, bro. I'll put you.

SPEAKER_07 58:55

Yeah, for Thomas, I have nothing to say. That's been crazy. Um I think the thing that surprised me the most, man, is uh um, I mean, I you get nine months of freaking out. Yeah. You get nine months of just what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? How am I gonna provide? What does she need? What does he need? What's what's my wife need? What's what you know? Nine months of just freaking out. And then when uh when my daughter got here, it's as if like I don't I don't it's like you knew.

SPEAKER_08 59:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 59:33

It's like there's something that just takes over and you just know what to do. And uh yeah, then you feel like a selfish fool for freaking out for nine months. Yeah. Anyway, my perspective might change with another kid. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 59:47

Well, wait till you get a boy, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 59:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:51

No idea what to do. Feral boy. Like, what is it, Donnie from The Wild Thornberries? That is that is Sawyer.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:03

That's the best representation of all infant boys.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:08

Okay, um, you have any more questions? I have one more, if if you don't have any.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:13

Um I I will have one, but I need a second. Wanna ask yours?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:19

Yeah. Um, so I'm a girl dad. Okay? We're all girl dads here. Y'all have boys too, but my perspective is only girl right now. Uh what's one thing you hope your daughter will never have questions about? Or sorry. What's one thing you hope you're never your daughter Good night. We got a lot of whiskey. What's one what is one thing? One thing. I don't know why. What's one thing you hope your daughter never questions about you?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

I guess it's more than one thing, but um two things. I hope she never questions my integrity. Like again, and I'm saying like I hope I don't do anything to cause her to question that. Um, I I always dread the the day that my kids realize that I'm not Superman. Um and that I am human. Shoot. And so I I hope that they never doubt that I love them, obviously, and that they never doubt my integrity because I think if if you don't have a a respect and and honor integrity in others, and if you're not searching for that in other people, you're gonna get taken advantage of. You're gonna end up married to some trash person, like that the integrity piece is is is crucial to their own self-worth. So I need to model that for them.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:03

That's so good. That's really good. That's good. Anything, Thomas?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

Um I I hope she never has to question if I'm available or not. Like I hope she always knows that she can call daddy. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like and and my story's a bit different because because there was a time frame where maybe that wasn't as accessible to her as as she wanted or as I wanted. And uh without going into too much detail, but um I just pray that she never, ever, ever thinks that she can't talk to me. And uh I can tell that's almost underlying fear of mine is like that she's gonna that she's not gonna feel like she can talk to me. So I'm constantly trying to ask her questions about her day, ask her about ask her about boys, because we're getting into that now without having to go to someone's house and strangle them. Like that kind of stuff, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:04

I'm not ready for that. Dude, I'm not ready for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:06

I'm not ready for it at all. I'm like, I gotta I got I just got a new gun two days ago, bro. I ain't ready for it, and they're not ready for it.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:12

What'd you get? What'd you get?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

It's a little carbine nine millimeter. If y'all listening, just stay ready. You know what I mean? Stay out that B wheel.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:20

Just gotta stay out there with that nine millimetre ready. Be on your game, catch my bag.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:25

Clock, shotgun, 30 out six if you long distance. I got everything, bro. So just stay ready. You know, don't rob my house. You you won't you regret it. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:32

Okay. You just you just spiked a pet peeve of mine that I'm that I'm trying to work through lately. Are you ready for this? I don't know. Alright, what the frick is up with this new generation like just freaking mumbling crap. Do you know what I'm talking about? No, no, no. But but they like that like that that's the way you kind of like went off like that is is how they do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:03

So you didn't like how I was mumbling. Is that what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:05

I'm not saying you were mumbling. What do you say? No, no, it's just the way the your the the way it came out just reminded me of of how like these freaking the young kids the 18-year-old brother, and like I part of me was like, Man, are all the kids these days like this?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:24

And like they are uh 95% of them are. I'm like, I'm what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:28

I can't even I can't even so I'm in I'm in ministry, right? So I'm around a lot of youth kids sometimes. Uh-huh. Work with youth kids. Yeah, yeah. And like just some when they have conversations with you, I'm like, what the actual F are you saying right now? Because they'll just be like, yeah, man, I was gonna come coming up with me anymore. I was like, I was like, motherfucker, it's all and then and then she was like, I don't see him, it's all I'm like, what are you saying, bro? Like, and it's the hand gestures, it's all the hand gestures, it's the they don't look at you, they look everywhere else but you, and they're just talking, bro. They're just talking, and you don't even know the time. You asked them, hey, why didn't you press record on that camera? Yeah, well, I was catching my bad bros out on the screen, and I was like, I was doing this and I was doing that, man. And I got this text message, man, and I was like, I was like, I had to respond to that on God, man, on my mama, you know. I'm like, what the f I know why is happening, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:28

They ain't got no daddies, that's why.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:32

They ain't getting daddyless boys, they ain't getting spanked. That's what's happening, bro. If you whip them with a bat, we wouldn't have this problem.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:40

Anyway, random tangent. You just reminded me of it. And uh I've been trying to struggle. I I've been struggling with that a little bit. You're welcome. And yeah, I don't know what it is, bro. These kids need to go to English class. Okay. All right. Did you answer the question?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:00

I guess that's it, bro. What else are we missing? Are we missing something? I feel like we had some more hot stuff in there. Oh, talk about your brick thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:11

Hey, talk about your bricks.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:14

And my brain went to landscape stuff. I was like, what bricks are you?

SPEAKER_06 1:06:19

It's not where my brain is.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:22

I was a sheltered boy. Um no, so there's this thing, it's it's a little piece of plastic, it's called the brick. And what it does is you can set it up to basically make your phone a dumb phone. And I encourage every parent to get one of these. Um when I first got it, I didn't I didn't even tell my wife about it, but like I would come home and I would have my phone bricked, and I would pull, I was hanging out with my kids, laying on the floor, playing cars and stuff, and the amount of times I would pull my phone out and be like, oh, this is boring. And like after a week of it, I realized, holy crap, I am reaching for my phone way too much. Yeah, yeah. I feel like you guys aren't taking me serious right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:02

No, I'm sorry, dude. I had to listen to it.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:05

Keep saying brick, and I keep saying you just out here bricked up on a Tuesday night, brother.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:10

Hey, it helps you, it helps you memorize the product. Anyway, not sponsored by them. They should definitely sponsor these.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:17

Hey, hit us up, hit up comment.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:18

I only asked that it has to say get bricked up. That's all I think I asked.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:22

That would be a good feature. Um, but I encourage everyone to have it if you're a parent or yeah, if you're just we spend so much time on our phones. We waste so much time on our phones.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:35

But you were saying you were saying too that you you caught yourself even though like it couldn't be turned on, you caught yourself looking at phone, like, oh yeah, I forgot I can't turn it on right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:44

Yeah, and so finally after about a week of it, like I I left my phone brick for three days, and like the small fun moments I had with my kids and even my wife that I like probably would have missed because I would have been scrolling on my phone was enough to notice. So I I recommend it. I'm sorry, I'm dying over here. Sir, you need to be a cosmic professional. What are we doing?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:10

Yo, you gotta turn it on, it can't be turned on. You know, you're like, I just started dying, bro.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:15

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:16

I don't know, man. It's 10.08 p.m. right now. It's 10.08 right now. Okay. But you're defense.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:24

There's one going around on Instagram too that is the push-up one. Yeah. You gotta do like you gotta do like 50 push-ups or something like that, right? That's the one I think that dude should do. Because I think he needs the 50 push-ups before he does anything. The bricked up one, me. But you stay brick.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

Stay pricked. Brick it up. But you push it up. You know what I mean? Because you need a little bit of that and a hat.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:49

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 1:08:49

Dude. You don't notice anything different, huh?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:53

About what?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:56

Going to the gym. About your haircut? What are you saying? You look dusty. You look dusty. You look dusty.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:04

Yo, we're off the wire.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:06

What are we doing? Kit bricked up, you know? Or no, no, no. What is it called? It's not bricked brick. Well, no, it's not brick. It's called the brick.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:13

You would spell brick.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:14

It's yeah, it's this square piece of plastic. Um, yeah, man. On top of that, bro, it's such a good idea because uh I got a nine-month-old who's already obsessed with this phone. Oh, it's so true. She's nine months old. Yeah, and it has it it has just naturally taken place by me checking my phone for uh work messages, yeah, what's going on with our content, what's happening here, what's happening here. I don't just like aimlessly scroll. I don't doom scroll ever in front of my daughter, but I will just grab this this thing right here, real quick, to check something, and then all of a sudden she's like Yeah, it's so true. And she's glued, you know?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:57

You can have like 15 different toys around, like a thousand different toys around, and the first thing they go to is the phone. Yeah, and you're like, Yeah, how'd they learn that? Yeah, I think it's me.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:08

Bro, random thought about phones. I was reading Revelation last night. Shouldn't by the way, wouldn't recommend at 2 a.m. Just wouldn't do it. Some edibles, what are you doing? No, I was just up, I was just up reading Revelation. I was just I don't know why it chose Revelation. Well, I I I watched some rough one, dude. Yeah, I watch I watched some like uh uh uh IG reels from Blurry Creatures, you know Blurry Creatures is and uh they're just talking about some stuff and I was like I need to read that for myself and then read all of Revelations and there's a uh there's there's a crazy thing in there about crazy thing?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:47

You mean things?

SPEAKER_07 1:10:48

Oh things, but no, this one thing like really stood out to me because we're living in it. Um I think we're living in it, I don't know. Um but uh uh is talking about um um um feeding the beast and feeding its image and allowing the image to speak.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:10

Interesting.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:11

Freaking AI, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:13

Yo, it's not true. Made in your own image. Also, blurry creatures, shout out to you guys. You guys are great. Uh my my good friend, um, best friend Jesse says uh that uh Bigfoot's real. Not real. Just want to say that, Blurry Creatures, you're wrong on that, but everything else is really good. So shout out blurry creatures. Uh go from there.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:32

Um, you ever been to Arkansas?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:34

I've been uh I've been to Appalachians. You ever been to the Appalachians?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:38

Arkansas.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:39

And and I'm supposed to say what? There's now is there a giant monkey rocking around that room? Hey, monkeys ain't real, dude. Monkeys are real. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:46

Hold on, hold on. Hey, hey, monkeys already been real, dude. They're they're robots. It's like the birds in the sky. The government's they're they're spying on us through these monkeys.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:57

Dude, Bigfoot's not real. Bigfoot's not real.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:00

You proved to me in the comments it's real. Do it, but it's not real, bro. You all are freaking clowns. Including Jesse. You know who you are, bro. Not true. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:09

You need to go to the Appalachian Mountains. That's all I'm saying. Um what am I saying? Arkansas? Appalachian Mountains aren't in Arkansas. No, dude. Yeah, the Ozarks for sure. I'm from the Ozarks, but it's like from Appalachian Mountains. Virginia, West Virginia. Yo, we gotta get out of here. Let's do this. We gotta get out of here. We gotta close this out. This is getting wild. We gotta go. We're talking about y'all just forgive us. Appalachian Mountains. We we out here talking about Appalachian Mountains and and uh and talking all kinds of not even on there.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:48

Uh, that is a good one, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:50

It was a good one.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:52

Alright. There one last question, one last question. We're we're we're ways into it, but this is the last question. Last but not least. Is something you are struggling with in your marriage right now? Oh, that one. And and you feel like um, yeah, what are you struggling with in your marriage right now? Let's talk there.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:10

Mine, again, coming out of the the kind of newborn stage with our nine-month-old and dealing with the toddler, um, my wife and I are kind of in like a a roommate stage. We're coming out of it, we're we're doing we've talked about it, we're doing some work in that regard, but um it's just so easy for you know, with her messing with the kids all day and Dang near being a single mom from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m. Um it uh it's really easy for us to just walk on by each other, eat dinner, say hi, you know, kiss on the cheek, and then go to bed. Um, you know, she's she's getting the the the fumes from the end of the day. So, you know, my my my struggle, our struggle is to get out of that and and to, you know, of course we love each other. Like that's not fading. She's amazing. I I love her with all of my heart. Uh but you know, I just I gotta be more intentional with uh with how I show her love and not just giving her whatever's left at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:08

I think too the reality is the downtick that happens always starts with those, you know to me, it starts with, hey no, she she became a roommate, and then it goes, I'm not saying that's what's happening to you guys, but I'm saying I'm saying that's a natural progress.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:22

It's easy to let that happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:23

Exactly. If you if you're not if you're not intentional about talking to your wife or talking to your significant other, like it's definitely gonna be it is a hundred percent the first symptom to the downtake of the marriage. So um I respect it. Yeah, I think I I think for me, just trying to be there more for it. I think uh our buddy Conrad who was on here last time, uh my dearest friends, he said something that's pretty profound. He said, just do it anyway, which means like if your kid wants to play baseball, do it anyway. If you if you're if your wife uh wants to watch a movie with you, do it anyway. Because because these are the times that the during the exhaustion, during the fumes of the last part of the day, that it's time to show up as a man and and do what you need to do. And it it's hard to do, and I just I wish I'd done that better for my wife, if I'm being honest. Uh I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:20

That's good. Real good. Man, for me, um I've been working on this thing um where I where uh uh not every conversation has to be like a right now conversation. Yeah, yeah. Been working on that, um, because uh I think you touched on this earlier, but uh just like um how uh you struggled early on with with Thea, how you were just like, no, we gotta talk about this right now. I struggle with that, and I'm working on that. Um and so uh but while I'm working on it, I've I've kind of built a a new problem where I will just freaking unload out of nowhere. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm allowing all these conversations that don't need to be right now after I get home from work or after she gets home from a stressful day, she's already been through a lot, and I'm like, hey, we're gonna talk about this like now. Because it's it's like like we could talk about it right. Um and uh what's happening is I'll just uh that doesn't we don't need to talk about that right now. We'll talk about that later. And then another one comes up in my head and I'm like, uh, that doesn't need to be discussed right now. Well now, there's two conversations, yeah. And then a third one pops up, and I'm like, no, not right now. We don't have to talk about that right now. Well now we have three, four, five, six, and out of nowhere, usually literally out of nowhere, we're having dinner, and I'll just be like, ah Yeah. And uh that's uh a thing we're struggling with right now. Um and it's not like I'm I'm I'm unleashing anger on her or anything like that. It's just there's I've pent up so much tension within these topics that I'm just like bleh. And then one topic turns into 20. Sure. And then and then we're just yeah. So yeah, that's we're we're kind of going through right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:23

It's good, bro. It's good. Can we get out of this now? Yeah, bro. This is crazy. This is crazy. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:31

Corey, thank you for coming on the Dad Co podcast. Thanks for being here, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:36

You've been a great guest, bro. One of the best. Maybe the best.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:41

Yeah. Who knows? Hey, thanks for tuning into the Dadco Podcast, greatest podcast in the world.