Faith Requires Accountability | Escaping the Chains x Nicky Gracious (Part 2)

Faith grows through community.

In Part 2 of this conversation with Nicky Gracious, the discussion continues around discernment, accountability, and the importance of honest relationships in spiritual growth.

Nicky shares how transparency and surrounding yourself with the right people can help prevent isolation and keep you moving forward in faith.

If you missed Part 1 of the conversation, be sure to start there before listening to this episode.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey beautiful people. Welcome to Escaping the Chains Podcast. I am your host, John Humphreys. Wait till you see what we have in store for you today. One of the things I appreciate about you is we've had a lot of phone conversations and you're one of the most transparent people when I'm talking to you. You know what I mean? Like I've never called you and you'd be like, yeah, I'm just over here floating in the clouds with the angels. You know what I mean? Like if it and and and I feel like I've been open with you, and it's one of the things I appreciate about you is when I call you, you you don't you'll tell me some of the cool stuff going on, but you you'll literally be like, this is what I've been going through. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's not like some people you talk to, and it's like, oh yeah, I got this going on, this going on. Yeah. And we do that a little bit, but it's mostly like, okay, you know what I mean? Like, this is what I just came out of it.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

That's a good thing. And I just now got into the ability to be able to let myself, like you said, trust people enough to get close to them and uh share with them. Uh, because in the past, you know, it's been like you get vulnerable, you open up and and people use those things against you. But the consistency of the character of the brothers that have been in my life recently, those vulnerabilities have been received, acknowledged, and then filled in by those brothers.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

You know, like, hey, you don't you don't have to go through that alone. I'm here for you. And then next thing you know, that thing that used to be an insecurity or a vulnerability is full and there's armor over it now. You know what I mean? I'm just so grateful that I got brothers like that around me. I think it took some growing. Because me and you have known each other.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Thankful for you, bro. Yeah, and I'm grateful for that. Them conversations are good, bro. They are. We didn't used to have them though. No, you get what I'm saying? Like it used to be like I like this dude. Yeah, I consider him a brother, you know what I mean, but I don't know if I trust him. Yeah. Or you know what I'm saying? Like it took like it took a long, I think everybody had to be broken a little bit. You you know what I mean? I know I did.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Yeah, that threshing for and it's not a comfortable place to be, but it's necessary, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Because we would like we've always been cool. I see you, we speak, but it that something broke at some point, and it was like, okay, this dude, you know what I mean, we've known each other a long time. Yeah. And you know what I mean. And it's another thing of like, this is one of the things like in the kingdom people have to stop, is because gossip is such a nasty thing to God. And then you'll hear stuff about people, you know, people talk about me, it's you know, and then I know people like people talk about you, and then it's like, well, you start to hear, and it's like, I had to get to a place of like, this is like shutting this stuff down. You get what I'm saying? If somebody says something about dude, right, it's like I shut it down. And if I have any question about it, I'm just gonna go to him. You know, like that's how that should work. And and and and and I've seen so many like character assassinations from an outside source. And it's like, I don't even know where that came from, you know. So it's like I think I know Nikki Gracious. Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Yeah, I mean, it's a bit extreme sometimes. I mean, I I I mean, I can't even lose weight without people, uh, particularly because all they know about me is, you know, I was in prison for 21 years, I was this uh addict, uh, you know, and all of a sudden I'm you know thrust on TV and in this leadership position or whatever, and uh and music and uh people get used to a certain thing from you and they expect that from you, and if you break out of that mold, the basic assumptions, particularly based off what they know are gonna come. Yeah, like he must be this, it must be that, it must be this, not knowing and and and it's my fault. I I I became a public figure by putting that music out there and going and traveling, doing the music touring and all that. Uh, and it's also my responsibility to maintain whatever reputation it is, but I've been very uh closed off about my private life. And I think that's why it leads to those assumptions with people, is because I've not given them a glimpse into my life, so it's easy for them to associate me with just the things that they know, yeah. But it's a little difficult, bro. The attacks and stuff like that. No, no, I mean, I work every day, I got family to take care of, kids that I gotta take care of, a wife that would destroy me if I ever even thought about going back to the street, but like people don't know that. Yeah, so that's kind of hard to deal with, and I know other artists probably go through that once they reach a certain level, like being under a microscope.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

I think people in general, because like you get out there so much, and it's like what you don't know about me is I almost prefer to be on my front porch by myself with my dog. Yeah, you you know what I mean? Like that's the me. I want to be around my daughters. You know, I've got a couple of friends that I enjoy spending time with, but that's who I am. Yeah what I mean. That there's times I'm out speaking, that's also who I am. It's not like a it's not fake, but that's that's me doing what God's called me to do. And then, like, when you know I mean, we get tired, or you want to rest, I want to go back to I'm in a hurry to get back to my front porch, just watch my dog run around. Yeah, you know, I mean, listen to a podcast or whatever it is, or my Bible, like where there's people take away like the the human element, so it's like they and they they can almost enjoy. I was talking to somebody the other day, it was like, boy, they support you when you're you know, I mean, when you're a junkie getting sober, they support oh what a that's great, but there comes a certain point that some people can't stand that you that you went past that.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

And I'm not saying that's I'm not saying that we're on some levels, but I'm saying it's and if you don't show them every waking detail of your life, then the automatic assumption is that thing that is bothersome.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

And even if you do, they're gonna be like, well, you know, it's uh dude, let me clarify, like we have so many people that support us and I love them, but sometimes it it kind of gets to a place it's like, man, if I could go back to when I was two years sober, just telling people that you know I got off of methadone, I met Jesus, you know, and this is how the way that they treated you, yeah. Yes, some people treated me weird and with you know cautious, but I could respect that. It's like I get it, you know what I mean. I'm two years sober, like I wouldn't trust me in my house yet either. Absolutely. But you know, it's like that that fearing, and it's like, hold on. And I see it happen to people. It's like he just got he just got too much is good, good is happening, too much is going in his direction. Now it's m our job to bring him back down to yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Bring him back to or I don't know enough about him to let him go to that level yet. Let me try to unfortunately for those people, that's up to God. You get what I'm saying? And fortunately for me, you know he owe he knows me intimately, he knows you intimately, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

So that's the thing about you. I think that the people, and we've had this conversation about like opening up. Like, Nick has a life, you know what I mean? Where yeah, his sons run around the house. His son that in the movement in the song This I pray, he was talking about, Tristan, right?

SPEAKER_01 7:09

He's answered every single prayer from that song, bro.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Every prayer. So like when you everyone. So when you know Nick, like he's got a dog that runs around and steals your hats. Um, so we were up there with uh we were up there with uh I called him Zach, but it's OTGZ because you don't want nobody wearing hats in the house while they're praying. So I have one of my sock hats on and they were like, hey, let's pray. And uh Samson is Nick's dog. So Nathan, I was up there. It's a beautiful little bully. And you never know, you get what I'm saying? Like you want to be respectful. So I was like, I'm gonna take my hat off. And I kind of had it, you know, I was just had it hanging there and I'm praying, and I feel like a tug of war happening with it. And the dog, the dog's like pooing on it, and I'm trying to pull it back. They're still praying, and I'm like, dude, they're gonna think, you know, I mean, I'm out here making noise now, and and the dog, so he finally like he's got jaws, right? So he wasn't like I wasn't getting it until he chose to let go of it, and finally he did. And I was like, then he came at it again. So I'm like, they're still praying, and I'm like wrestling the dog. Um, that was my experience with Samson.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

He's a good dog, though, but in my mind, I'm sitting there thinking, I know he's over there messing with somebody because I could hear him trying to get after something.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

I'm thinking, I am gonna get him together. As soon as the prayer ended, Nick starts yelling at Samson. He didn't even know what he was doing. I'm standing there. I'm standing there like, you know, trying to act like I was trying to pray, you know what I mean? But he just wants to snatch a hat or a sock or something, you know. Yeah, but that's I think people don't like we kind of have we've seen that about you, you know. We like we broke bread. Like you have, you know, you have you have your wife, you have your house, you have your things you're working on, like you're a dude. You get what I'm saying? You're not like always um just making music and you're not sitting around in the lab just constantly, you know, there's a whole nother there's a whole nother life out there. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

And and sometimes, you know, most like we were talking about earlier, bro. It's like when you meet somebody, whether they're uh a rapper or just the average Joe working at a factory, man, there's that's just the tip of the iceberg that you're getting, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

We never know, and that that's the thing I wish um people talk about like God rewarding you for the battles you fight in private, you know, and that's a cool meme. But you don't know. That's another thing about life. Is like I know Nathan, we talk a couple hours a week. I still don't know what he fights. The death of Nathan. You know what I mean? I don't know. He doesn't know if I'm sitting there for 45 minutes at the end of some of my nights praying and crying for him.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Exactly. Bruno was thinking about that exact thing thing, that same thing laying in bed last night for quite some time. I was laying there and I was looking at my wife thinking I you know, I know her about better than I know anybody. But I'll never know the depths of her, you know. And then I thought about the amount of time that I had here on this planet in comparison to the amount of time that I've already lived. And there was this desperation in my heart in that moment to want to know every single thing about every person that I loved so that when I leave this place I can say, man, I loved you with everything I had. You know? And man, I just I want to keep that feeling. And I asked the father while I was laying in bed last night when I was thinking that, like, man, don't let that lead me. What I was just thinking don't let that lead me. Let that be the fire every day when I get up. Let me do that, let me remind them like it's the last time I'm ever gonna be able to do it. Yeah, you know, and that's been beneficial for me, bro.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Yeah, that's awesome. I think especially like like we've all we have similar backgrounds, but like you and Zach have done a lot of time, you know, in comparison to my couple nights in jail. But I think like what you're talking about right there, it's the opposite of everything that we we learned when we were trying to survive or get dope or you know, I mean, uh rob, whatever it was, it's the opposite of that. I don't want to know, all I need to know is can I trust you to not tell on me or if you're dangerous enough to kill me if I steal your stuff? You know what I'm saying? So then we come into this, and I think that's something that like I've had to give myself grace about because I've I've been talking to people, you know, doing a phone call here and there about like possible interviews for the podcast, and it's actually cool because it's like, hey, let's just do a conversation. And as I get to going back and forth with people and starting to talk about my journey, it's like, okay, so yeah, I met like I met the Lord about almost 14 years ago, and I got sober, but there were so many other things, and when I say sober, I mean free, you know, I mean off of it. There was there was so many other things. I had no idea. It was like there's so many things that I have to work on.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Everything that you break through, there's another thing to conquer.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

And and being a guy, it's just like my thing. One of the things I was talking about the other day is my thing used to be like words of affirmation. That's so dangerous for me because it's like I get all I'll get I used to get affirmation, and then I just wanted more. Like you couldn't, you couldn't for you couldn't all you know, all the likes, all the compliments, all that stuff would not feed.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

That became what all of the things that you were doing were for.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

100%. I you know, I had to readjust. It's like I work out for my health, you know what I mean? Like that's what that's what I'm doing that for.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

And what's been huge for me, man, is the moments right before I lay down at night, like maybe for the past month and a half, before I lay down, it's like everything about the day, everything that I may have done wrong, everything that I could have done better, it all uh it comes in those moments. And you know, now when I'm sh when I'm laying in bed and I'm thinking about those things and I'm sharing those things with the father, it's in them moments where he gives me revelation, he gives me the answers to all of these things that I need to be doing. And bro, just taking that time to spend time with and and not saying it's not cool praying with my wife and my family and my son and them, but that solo time that I get alone with the father is so important, it brings so much revelation. So, man, if you got a prayer closet, jump in that thing, bro. It's important to get that one-on-one time.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Well, that affirmation I I want people to listen to what's going on here because like this is you um get all that confirmation from him. Yeah, my my affirmation needs to come from God. Is it nice if somebody compliments me? Sure. Yeah, but I can't let it fuel anything. Like that's a crown that has to go down at my father's feet as soon as I get it. Me and Zach were talking about that.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

If somebody's like, Because if it comes from the father, you know it's genuine. If it comes from somebody else, you never know if there's an agenda there, if it's flattery or and what here's a cool thing that's happened in this conversation if you're listening.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

A lot of times, like you go places and you hear people, you know, and they're giving good messages and stuff. But if you hear how me and him are talking, if you've noticed, like we're talking about things like we are still going through, or like he just said, he's been doing it for like the last month and a half. Some of the stuff I told you is over like the last eight months. Like, we we don't like at least from where I stand, I don't ever want you to think like you're listening to perfect people that have figured everything out because that's not what you're gonna get here.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

It's just really people that want to grow with you. Yeah, you know, and we're brand new. I mean, I don't know how long you've been a believer, how long you've been a believer. That's way longer than me. I I I've been a believer for probably about seven years. Uh and man, I still feel like a baby.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

I feel like there's areas I can look at Aries and be like, I've matured so much there, and you know, and I can acknowledge that, but it's really just like I think that's the one thing like in the com when I when we started to reboot this, the one thing I I still want to get testimonies and stuff on here, but I want people to hear that um that there I'm not perfect for one, and we're still navigating. These are the conversations me like we have is you know, dude, this is what's been working for me the last month and a half. Like I'm literally taking it to God. Yeah, you guys need to hear that stuff, but what I want you to understand is like we need to hear it. These are the conversations that we we have to have with each other, and you know, I mean, all the guys in this room, it's Nathan, you and Zach, like we like I've had these conversations with these men of like this is what I'm battling, or if somebody, if one of my friends is battling stuff, um, and this is this is what I wanted was to be able to have conversations and be like, hey, what we've done is went back and forth, and in real life, yeah, you know what I mean? Like, like if I told we'll have a conversation, like I'm pulling something from it because I'm constantly learning. And I think a lot of times people will say, Oh, he's a Christian, so he's a hypocrite. What you have to understand is like some Christians absolutely are hypocrites. I'm not the one to judge who's who. But that would be like looking at Michael Jordan and saying, he sucked at basketball because he just missed a shot. Did you see? Did you see he won the title? It doesn't matter. He missed a shot.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Yeah, you know what I mean? Like professional basketball, he's not a professional basketball player, just missed a shot.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

He's not the best ever. He missed a shot. We miss shots. You know what I mean? It doesn't mean, and and this is for somebody out there, because you fail, if you fail and you miss a shot, it doesn't mean you're done. It doesn't mean that you're a hypocrite. It doesn't mean this is life. And if you can show me anybody in the Bible outside of him.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

No, that that's what it they were all falling. And it's the Bible is written because we are gonna, you know, it's there's a lot of reasons why we have it. But one of the things in there is it shows you like you have a father that's waiting on you. He's not expecting you to be perfect, and he's not expecting you to hit every shot. As a matter of fact, if you hit every shot, you would have no need for him.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Right? And and I think that some of you, like, you'll miss a shot, and what will happen is if you have the wrong people around you or you have the wrong dialogue with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

You're gonna believe that you ain't no ball player.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

You're gonna believe that you aren't a ball player, but you're gonna believe, oh, I'm not I'm not a Christian. And not non-believers and some believers will attack you with that so-called man of God. I'm still a man of God. You know what I mean? I'm still a man after, like, I love God, but you guys have to hear that we have these, we've had these conversations, and you know, seven years, thirteen years, like no matter how long you've been saved, there's always things that you're gonna have to work on, and there's always things that you're gonna miss shots.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

You're gonna miss shots. It doesn't mean that you're not a believer. It doesn't mean that's a good thing. Hallelujah.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

You're in the game, though.

SPEAKER_02 18:34

You know, praise God. So I want you to hear that, and I hope that's what you get from us is if nothing else, we'll tell testimonies, and I pray that you believe that um you can find freedom um through our Father. And and that's how I found it, that's how a lot of us have found it. That's why it's easy for us to jump for him, to pray for him, or pray to him, and all of these things. Absolutely. But we also still, you know, we lack the perfection that he has.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Oh, glory to him. We need him.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

So don't let that stuff get you down. Yeah, if you miss shots, like you know, I mean, you're always gonna need him. You're always gonna need to for that, you know. Amen. Zach, you got anything to add? We got Tico over there on the I think you guys got covered.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

What up, mate? No, you guys are good.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

All right. Good, good. We covered it pretty good. I think so. I love you, bro. This won't be the I love you too, man. And I I mean that. And uh, we've got some little project stuff we're working on coming up, so we'll keep y'all posted on that. Listen, I'm so glad that y'all took the time to listen. Um, and I and I hope somebody got something, you know. This isn't necessarily for the seasoned believer that knows everything, like this is for um the rest of us. You know what I mean? And I'm one of them. Come on. So if you haven't, please please check out the YouTube channel Escaping the Chains Podcast. Escaping the Chains. Escaping the Chains. We need to get a song intro, but for now I think we got a beat. Yeah. And um and and check out Nick Gracious. He's got a lot of stuff. They've been doing, I guess we'll talk about that real fast. They've been doing um uh music reviews. You've been doing that with Hero.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Me and Brother Hero uh have been doing music reviews uh Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays, sometimes maybe Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, depending. Uh there's been some great music in there, amazing fellowship. Uh everybody's been in there encouraging, edifying. It's been an amazing time, man.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

It's a good way to let yourself get exposed to new stuff too. Because I like I picked up on a few things that I like on there, so that that's a really cool thing to that's a really cool thing to pay attention to.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Absolutely. Any uh if y'all want to check it out, it's just uh Nikki Gracious on Facebook. If you want to check out any of the music, it's Nikki Gracious on YouTube at Nikki Gracious Music on Instagram. Anytime y'all want to listen.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

And if you have any music, they do those live, so go check it out. Um and you can you can submit a song. Yes. Um and uh actually, if you if if you tell them you got it from this podcast, we'll pay for your uh submission. Hey, that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Well, you ain't going to battle, get out of my way. Get out of my way. All of my girls be filled, all of my brothers be real. This battle is real. Saying don't get no appeal, all of this stuff get killed.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode today. Make sure you subscribe to our channels and follow us and give us reviews on all of the platforms. If you really liked what you heard today, share it with somebody that you care about. Thank you. We love you.