Voices Unlocked Ep. 19 | Debunking Social Work Myths

Email us at voicesunlocked26@gmail.com

The hosts of Voices Unlocked open with a disclaimer that they are not therapists, then welcome special guest Carla, a social worker with lived experience of having a dad in prison and a former placement student at Time Matters.

They discuss how Carla connected with Lorna through placement and counselling training, how supportive and non-judgmental the Time Matters children and young people are, and the joy that can exist alongside sadness. The conversation covers stigma and fear around social workers, heavy caseloads and paperwork, why Carla values openness and appropriate sharing, and how media and court reporting can expose families’ addresses and identities without warning or adequate safeguarding. Carla encourages families not to fear referrals, to be honest, and remembers how supportive relationships can change perspectives.

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
00:34 Meet the Guest Carla
01:18 How Carla Met Lorna
04:28 First Prison Visit Memories
05:13 Time Matters Group Magic
07:08 Media Stigma and Real Life
08:59 Lived Experience in Practice
10:02 Social Worker Myths Debunked
11:08 Workload and Paperwork Reality
16:31 Support Gaps and Advocacy Work
19:12 Knowing Your Rights
20:26 Media vs Safeguarding
21:14 When Your Address Is Published
21:47 Clear Communication Matters
23:30 Advice for Worried Families
24:55 Changing Social Work Narratives
26:07 Funny Social Worker Stories
29:29 Why We Stay in the Job
30:51 Lived Experience Builds Trust
34:10 Gratitude and Wrap Up

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, just a quick disclaimer as always, we do not claim to be therapists or counsellors. We are just sharing our stories of experiences that we have had from someone with lived experience and someone who is a researcher and a practitioner. But when you are listening to these stories, please take care of yourselves as they can be a little bit heavy. There's some funny stories in there as well. Obviously, we are open to positivity in the comment section, please. Like I said, these are all truly based off people's lived experiences. So thank you so much, and I hope you enjoyed the episodes. Love you, bye. Hi guys, welcome back to our episode of Voices Unlocked. Like the last time, cannot remember what episodes we're up to. But who cares? Because we've got a very special guest on today. We have Carla. Thank you for having me. Hey Carla. It said she's nervous. She's got absolutely nothing to be nervous about because she's a natural. And not when I'm with you guys.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Yeah. Always helps.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

You're an absolute natural. How have you been?

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Bad, not bad. Busy. Plodding along with life and being busy, missing you guys. Oh missing. And all the other little ones. I know we haven't seen you. I feel like I haven't seen you for ages. And you've come back so much as you. You do, you should. That was good times.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Oh, you sure to come on a Thursday? It'd be so nice. But yeah, um, so to start, what I'd like to ask is how do you know Lorna, Lorna? How do you know Carla?

SPEAKER_03 1:23

How did this how did this beautiful relationship come together? Before I absolutely trashed the mic. Um, yeah, well, so Carla came on placement many years ago to at Time Matters when you were training to be a social worker. I was, and I feel like a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

It was faith wearing it because yeah, I was in uni. I got to like put my what I want as out of my first um what's it called? Placement. It's been that long. That's so bad. My first placement, and I'd put out what I really wanted to work with young people, and that it didn't even come up like with people in prison and stuff like that. And then obviously got accepted on yours, went and met, yeah, and then just naturally felt like quite at home. Obviously, I've been dead open with you, and we've had a chat that I'd had lived experience, and you didn't know that. I didn't know what your you's were all about. Got there and I was like, oh my god, I've done prison visits, I'd done that when I was a kid, I'd been in and out. So then it just something in my like soul and like heart just felt natural as well and at ease. And then it just like bossomed from there, didn't it?

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Yeah, no, it was like I literally was like within 0.05 seconds of meeting you. I was like, oh my god, you're perfect for time matters. And you were one of the very first people we had on placement. And I think I remember at the time when I was navigating accepting students on placement. I obviously know, and you've interestingly alluded to it during the episodes, that you know, families are often quite terrified of social services and social workers. And so when the university approached me and said, you know, would you like to take student trainee social workers on placement for time matters? There was a bit of my head that was like going, Oh, the families aren't gonna like that, you know, somebody training to be a social worker that it might make them feel quite fearful or they might not feel that they can be open, you know, in the groups about what they want to say. But then I was like, But actually, if people have had difficult experiences in the past with social workers, what better opportunity do we have to introduce social work trainees into our kind of you know, time matters family to to how them to be the best social workers for children with parents in prison is possible? And then you come along and you were like, I've got lived experience. My dad used to be in prison.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

I did not know you had lived experience.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

Did you know until like today?

SPEAKER_02 3:44

We talked about it, hadn't we, when we did the counselling sessions together? We didn't counsel, we trained to be.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

Oh yeah, you did the level two counseling.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Sweet, did I do that?

SPEAKER_03 3:55

Yeah, listen, just you've you've had a lot going on. You might just not have processed either way.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Yeah, so I don't when I've been watching your podcast, I'd done it. Oh my god, yeah, you did.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

I remember the conversation that we had. Sorry, that was so rude of me. Don't be sorry. No, I'm so sorry. My brain just went like you're a busy baby. I'm sitting there thinking, Carla's got lived experience, Carla's got lived experience, and then that's just literally just broke. We were in um at the Access to Education building, and we partnered up together.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Yeah, and we did the count.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

And I that's when I found out of course that wasn't it? That's when I found out about it. Yeah, didn't know prior to that.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

Yeah, so I'd done lots of visits as a kid, and when I was listening to yours, actually, I can't remember my first time ever going. It was just always sort of there, but I just remember like you know, going in and then the doors getting locked behind you, and everybody's stuck in this little bit, and then someone wiggle on the way through, and then moving on the other door and being like, you know, really, that just feels so different than anything I'd ever experienced before. And then what the prison I'd been in, it was a male one, and everyone was in double denim, and even then I was thinking that's not a good look.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Oh I love double denim to come back to deny, feel like be couple of nine minutes back, double the call.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

I would love be wish to feel like den when I wear double denim.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Yeah, so like when I come along, it just felt dead natural and like really just at ease with everybody, and I think it helped my side that they understood. And when I was thinking about coming on here and things I wanted to like have a little chat about, I think I have never seen a group of kids and young people so much like there for each other, like how they are. Like, even my little one they just brought in, and like he was just part of the group and team, they are just so supportive and so amazing for each other, aren't they?

SPEAKER_03 5:44

Yeah, it's just that it's definitely the magic of how people support one.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

When you're gonna PGL when we went to the PGL and he gave on the PGL. Oh, we were cute and you thought.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

He probably was tiny, he probably was, and he was like joint your hip the entire time. But then I think it was one of the other kids, one of the one of the there's a child, well, a young person now who goes to Time Matters and he's so good with kids. Yeah, he's so good, you know. Yeah, you know, we were talking about Time Matters following. So good with kids, and he started to like he'd he'd lean off a little bit, but then he'd still be like, Where's my mum? Where's my mum? Where's my mum? I've never seen him more comfortable with a group of people like that.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Ever. And he's just fitting he was going off with the older ones. Do you remember how much everyone carried them everywhere? Yeah, I carried them everywhere. I constantly so cute, everyone wanted to hold them.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

I just constantly held them, I constantly was picking them up and walking on.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

Yeah, it looks like keeping me a turn to hold him.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

But that like group is just beautiful together, isn't it? Yeah, it actually is. It's like there's no judgment, there's no, you know, and it's so much happiness and like nice, and even when some of the stories are a bit sad, it's the the giggling, like the telling, you know, and then they then they take the raw bits emotionally serious when it's needed. It's like they really get onto emotions really well, don't they?

SPEAKER_03 7:08

I say this all the time, and I I said this in a in an event, weirdly enough, yesterday. Uh is that people, when I say, Oh, I help kids with parents in prison, one of the most common responses is, Oh god, that must be so sad, that must be so hard. And I'm I'm always like, Do you know what it is? Of course it is, your heart breaks to see kids upset, but there's so much joy, yeah. There's so much happiness in what we do.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

And I think, you know, we've touched on it before between us, haven't we, with the media? And the media represent this like villain almost, isn't it? And that's not what we live with, it's not what we see the day to day. So that can be quite hard as well, isn't it? When it's coming across and you're reading the papers, but you're like, I've had my new address and name and stuff in the paper, and it was hard to have that like experience, and then people you can see everyone talking about you in the street, and you're like, you've got that little, you know, you don't want to look anywhere and talk. But so it's yeah, it's a difficult one, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 8:02

It it it's so, it's so hard, and yeah, and I I just love how how much our families loved you as well. People to this day will always go, Oh, I remember Carla, Carla was amazing, and just how loved and accepted you have to come back. You need to come back to the back. There's people there.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

She went, Carla's coming. Do you remember Carla? And I went, Of course I remember Carla.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Of course I remember such a soft spot for everybody.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

Like I just you must come back because you will people still attend. Nobody ever once you come to Time Matters, by the way, you never leave. Oh no, so everybody's still there.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

25 been going since I was eight, 20, 26 this year.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

So you can't come and visit us, and even though I was working there, which was a joy, and I learnt lots, I just felt part of the like I was like, I was learning loot as well because I didn't realise that many people and that many children were like affected with people they loved enjoy live.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

So it was new for me. What was it like for you to obviously have lived lived experience and having to like deal with lived experience? But then now you're on policement in a sub support group of a bunch of little kids, young kids of all ages.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

It never felt difficult. It never felt like because I'm quite an open book anyway, and even still in my role now, I will talk about the things I've been through. I think I'm not sitting there as a social worker expecting people to open up and tell me the whole lives and not putting any of that back. It's not natural, is it? Like it doesn't work like that. And I think we've all been through things in life, and I find that's why most of us come into this like kind of role and job, isn't it? Because we've been through stuff and we want to make a difference and want to make a change. So it just felt dead natural with them all. Because and it I think I was learning lots, like I remember going into school and doing some work with like we were doing a bit of Chinese Whispers games of you know, like how much the media changes things and like learning it from that, which was quite good to do and see how fast it changed between us.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Yeah, that was such a good idea, actually. I might play that Chinese Whispers again with everybody. And then tell us uh, you know, just to just to debunk some of the myths around social workers and and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Oh, yeah, we need to get into that because I've literally said, I said in the last episode, my I was one of them children who hated social workers, hated them. Elaine the Payne done me every time. So, yeah, every social worker was Elaine the Pain to me. I said to Lorna. So I mean I'd always think a social worker was coming out to see me, and I'd go, oh, Elaine the Payne, didn't know who it was, didn't care about it. Did you have quite a few? I had I think I have three, three social workers. Well, there was one who came to see me who I loved, her name was Eileen. Um I think she referred you to me. Yeah, but then there were two other people I seen. I seen one before that, and then my case got given to Eileen, and then Eileen didn't see me longer and I got I didn't need a social worker. Um but she'd show up and I'd go, oh Elaine the Pain. Elaine the Pain, and then I'd see her and I go, Why are you Eileen? You know okay? I call her Elaine the Pain behind the back. But I loved Tracy Beaker when I was a kid. So because of the way Tracy Beaker was, and she was like, Bog off Elaine, like I always used to hate social workers, like it was just embedded in my head. Now that I'm in residential care and I work with children in residential care, and I see the amount of caseloads and everything that I only have to look after them two kids, but their social workers have dirty blurred cases. So it I I've got a different amount of respect for social workers.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

That's nice to hear, and it's nice to see that I hope the narrative is changing around it because I do appreciate that it comes with a stigma and it does come with and we are the you know the ones that are delivering bad news and telling stories that aren't always nice. But obviously, lots of the things are above me, so I always try and just be myself, be mindful that they're going through a hard time and being as kind as you can, and put myself in other people's shoes a lot because I think when I was a child, one of my biggest fears, and I dreamt about it load, was getting on the bus and my mum being off and the door shut and the bus used to drive away. It was absolutely irrational, it comes from nowhere, and I think these kids are going through that. Then bus doors are shut, and their mums are left behind and their parents are left behind, and we're moving them. It's petrifying, yeah. But there's so many that they're like, they're just beautiful kids, they're so lovely, and even the ones that are having hard times. I think I think I I don't judge, I don't think bad. I think they're having them hard times because they've been through stuff. It's they're it's how they're coping and their behaviours, isn't it? And that's fine as well.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Yeah, and that's what's the but that's who you are as a person. You're just such a like an empath and non-judgmental person, which is why you know you one, you fit right right into time matters, but two, I I know how much value you'll bring to to your to your role and your pre do you do you do you enjoy enjoy your job or I do, you know, I do, and because obviously I the thing I come into this role for was because I love to spend time with kids and young people.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

I don't get to do that as much as I'd like because it's a lot more paperwork than I'd I anticipated. Um but I still do get really lovely time with them, and it is lovely, and it's nice to even sometimes after a hard day, you think, okay, I've made a change. Like that little bit is some big in someone else's like life, and then that moment, and if we can do something that's a little bit kind and a little bit nicer, that's worth it, isn't it? It is.

SPEAKER_03 13:20

It's like when when you do do something that you think, oh, I might have helped someone in that day, like let's let's face it, I go home and I feel more whole in my own self as well. So it it's you know what goes around comes around, and you know, it's it's true, it's healing for all of us, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 13:39

I've been a social worker for just nearly four years now, and I I don't often tell people I'll say I'll work with a council because it comes like straight away. Yeah, and even if someone goes, Oh, there's a social maker, I go, ooh, myself.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

I actually remember, you know, like stay away from that.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

I am actually a social worker. I actually remember we are human, we are normal. No, I think I so in the in the work I do, I've just finished me what's it called, endpoint assessment to me level four for a residential sport worker role. Being in the job for like two years now, should have finished that about six months ago, but that's when am I ever on time, Carla, let's be honest, you know what I mean? Better late to the party than literally, but I did my first care planner meeting and pet meeting um with one of the kids' social workers, and that drained me. That was a lot of making decisions for what was best for them kids. Like I said before, two. I have to look after two children. These social workers have 30 plus cases of making decisions for these kids that uh necessarily are really, really important decisions because they're life-changing, aren't they? They're life-changing because it affects we anything we do, we have to speak to the social worker first to either get it approved or whoever's got delegated authority. We won't go into that because that's a whole other can of worms still open. But we everything has to go through the social worker. If a child has an accident, email the social worker, child goes missing, email the social worker, hospital, email the social worker, anything. They haven't gone to school, make sure you CC in the social worker into the emails. So they get all of that. That's the majority of the paperwork I have to do in a day times that by 30. That is a lot of decision making for a lot of emails, a lot of people. My paperwork, I get into work in a day and I go, Oh my god, that's so much paperwork. And then I think, oh my god, like they've got a multitude of different kids, and I always think of it, like, especially like when a social worker will come out of the home to visit the child, and they're like, Yeah, I've just been here and here say, I've just got to go to one more house and then I get to go, and then I'm gonna go home. And and I think, wow, like you you have got to put like everything and all into that, it does consume you as well, because obviously, yeah, we look after the kids and we do all that, and um we're we're at the forefront, but you you're making decisions for these kids that are ultimately life-changing and will change where they what what what whatever happens to them next week. Living outcomes almost, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Yeah, and as busy the development and all that, it's a lot.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

And as busy as you are, and as busy as you are, you've both managed to come into John Wall's uni and give guest lectures for me, so thanks very much. Carl is still doing it with a smile. Carl was more busy than me. I know, thank you for bringing an enriching experiences to our students, which which is amazing. So, when you you when you were little, was that did were you aware of any did you get any support with your dad being away?

SPEAKER_02 16:37

None no, I didn't even know, I don't think I knew. There's quite a gap between me and my siblings, so I don't even think they'd done prison visits, not that I'm aware of. Um, and he was in and out quite a bit, so it was different ones, and like different people had taken me and long drives, little drives, it was all different all the time. And I didn't go regular, like I wasn't as regular as you were going. Um so it was all just completely different. But no, I'd never seen a group until I met youth to be. That was the yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

So was that that must have been kind of weird then, like you know, to have like been the adult but and seen all these kids like having the support that you never got.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

Once again, I don't think it did feel weird because I don't think, oh, I never got it. I'm just glad that someone else got it for them, you know, like and that it is out there, it's just it's so needed. It's something that like Liv says, I'm really busy, I haven't had the time yet, but it's in my heart, and I would like to do again and continue. And that it's just beautiful to see them having that understanding skills, and then how much change has come around from the things from time matters. Yeah, you know, there's been so much, hasn't he? That's like I remember we'd done a massive session on when the police first come in and it how the police could do that better, and how the social workers could do that better, actually. We done as well, didn't we? Yeah. Um and I hope to think that the police do learn from things like that as well. Because it de it certainly stays with me and my practice.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

Yeah, and and that's that's I guess part of what we try to do in time matters, isn't it? It's a lot of change-making activities. And interestingly, like we we just we just did an episode a few episodes back about the media, but you were one of my research participants about you know the impact of uh court reporting and and media reporting when you've got a parent in prison. So thank god that that initial paper's just been accepted for publication. But there's there's a long way to go, isn't there, in in terms of improving things for families and yeah, and then do you remember journalists?

SPEAKER_02 18:37

We've done that work, and then I'd done it as my dissertation because it was like stuck with me. Um even though I was in I was in my placement in the local authority by then, but I was still like, I want to come back and do it. So I'd done my dissertation on it as well, and then the difference in other countries and how the laws that they have around like social media and news reporting and stuff, and how they have to prove that it's factual, I think just should be here as well. Like it's just so it seems so simple, doesn't it? Just prove what you're saying to true before you print it.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

I was saying before, it's like I think doing the job role I do now and they because obviously going to time matters and stuff, I went as I went as someone who was being supported and saying my story and stuff, and then I've got in deck into more of laws and legislations before I even started this job because it I was more like I actually want to know what is in the government protecting me as a young person, like I actually want to know what my rights are, like I need to know how I'm getting safeguarded, what are my human rights, like what am I entitled to? Because there's something's gotta give. Do you know what I mean? Sutton has gotta give. And I looked at like the Children's Rights Act, the safeguarding um act, and I looked at you know, working together in partnership, and I told a story about what I did in school, which I should have been safeguarded better. Working in partnership should have been at the forefront of that, and it wasn't basically I was able to change all my details, all the emergency contact details through school without my family finding out, and my teacher let it happen. But um, I was saying how you've got all these guidances, policies, and procedures that are law and written in legislation of working together to safeguard kids, the Children's Rights Act, all the children's rights and what they're entitled to and what should be happening, and then you've got the media that's there, that's introducing addresses, names, pages, and I've literally just learnt about before in our previous episodes why they do that. But then there's literally the other side of okay, but how are we focusing on what's going on here? How are we safeguarding them kids? How are we doing all that? And I've just the line so blade at the minute that it's like, why is it what why can't we possibly have things that are in other countries to make sure it's fact-checked properly?

SPEAKER_02 20:58

And and I'm the same as you. I think when we done that conference that day and the police and that spoke and they told us why it was, I can see that side as well. I can see that it's in the public interest to know, and it's obviously because people have got the same names, isn't it? So they don't want to make sure that they get the right person, and that's why your address is put out there. But then I think nobody from like police or anything came to me and said, Okay, your address is gonna be the paper. Do you need anything? Do you need help? Do you need support? I was on the streets with people going, did you see what happened in that house over there? And I was like, That's my house.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

You know, like and I had to like so hard though.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

And I'm not a confrontational person, I'm I'm the complete opposite, but I had to sort of be in that situation and because I was so embarrassed, I was just like head down and getting on with it.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

So I think if more people are like making the children aware and that you're getting ready for it, yeah, you know, then you're right, and I think that's what's what what we need to be better at as professionals is is is clear communication to to vulnerable children and families. Like at least it if something's happening that they don't like, at least. Explain what is happening, when it's happening, you know, what that rather than just people being blindsided by by actions. I think we need children, should be explained, you know, what their rights are in child-friendly language, and family should be like, look, or even just that's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Even just saying, giving a phone because the amount of phone calls I get from the police is unbelievable. Not not because I'm in trouble, by the way, guys. But not worth like just personal stuff, like with my mum and stuff, like the police will still ring me, like about my mum. So it's always on an unknown number or anything like that. If you can ring me that many times to track my mum down, please at least just ask me, hey, is she still living in that address? Do you know what I mean? Because nine times out of ten, it's fact-checking, innit? Nine times out of ten. They don't live in that address, or they're not in that address, or they don't live in that address anymore. So it's ringing just to make sure. Do the before we publish this in the paper, are they living at this address? Because then you still, I don't know. I mean, you're saying it like they say like it's to it's the publ it's the public right to know to keep them safe, but if it's the wrong address, you're not doing it. Yeah, yeah. And then you're putting other people at risk, and you're putting other people at risk. Yeah. So you're not keeping no one safe. Do you get me? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

I think lots of the thing with time matters is we're getting we were giving the children, the young people the tools to cope with all them things, weren't it? And that was not ever given to me. Nobody ever explained that, and we were all thrown into it, you know. It wasn't our day-to-day, like my mum's and my siblings, you know, it wasn't our day-to-day.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Yeah, we just get on with it. Yeah, exactly. So, I mean, like, so if you were to put a message out there to families who feel like, oh gosh, you know, we've had a referral to children's social services, like, what would you want them to know?

SPEAKER_02 23:43

I think to be honest, because it always comes out, and then it sometimes can get worse if you're not honest, because honesty is easy to handle. I love the kids I work with, whether they do it, if they're screaming and shouting or they do it, and they tell me calmly, as long as they're telling me what they want, I'm happy. Just so I you can't do stuff you don't understand, can you? So if I know the situation, I can deal with it, and I can help. So the honesty part is amazing. I know that's not always easy. I know it's hard to say, okay, I've been in this relationship or that relationship, and it's not good. But then we can work on it. But I think also not being like we are human, we're not scary, you know. We're all look look on my situation, we've all been in things that are challenging. Yeah, and I don't judge anybody. I think we're we're all in the situations we're in. Half it's not because we've chosen it, it's because it's been thrown on us and we've had to deal with it, isn't it? Or necessarily not deal with it because we haven't been handed the right tools, like we talked about before. So I I think just not to be so fearful because we're not we're not there to do bad, we're there to help. We want to help. We really want to make things better and your life better and the children's lives better, but it's not always come across like that, does it?

SPEAKER_03 24:55

And I and I think the media again have you know uh some part to play in in the fact that that social workers don't get great press out there, so I think that fuels a lot of fear in families. And and don't get me wrong, if I if I suddenly thought there was a social worker knocking on my door, would I be scared despite knowing amazing social workers, despite teaching a module on social work in in the university, despite everything, would I of course I'd be scared. I think it's absolutely natural to be scared. But I think everybody, every student that I've ever met who've either been on placement or been in my module, if you ask them why are you doing this, why do you even want to do social work, they they'll always say it's because I want to help people. They'll always say No say for the money. No, or the press, or the stigma.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

I'd love to see the good stories. And I'm not saying share like obviously I'm children's, so I'm not saying share children's stories, but to see the good out there as well. I think you don't ever see the the bad stories in the press, don't you? But there's so much good work getting to.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

There's so much, like the Yeah. I didn't understand how much good work was getting until I got into the line of work that I'd do. Like when I was little, yeah, called her Elaine the Pain all the time. But Eileen. I love Eileen. Shout out to Eileen. I was guttered when like when Eileen was leaving, and then I mean, sorry, Lona, I was gutted when Eileen was leaving, I was getting Lona because now I've let me yet. I've let me get some wicked. Eileen's like, I've passed it over to a lovely woman called Lorna's gonna come and see you, and I was like, it's fuming. I was like, Eileen, love, I've just got used to you, you messing and sending out another Elaine the pain. What's this one gonna be like now? Betty's gonna be coming in my house staying at my chair, trying to talk to me about my mum not having it. Don't want an Eileen, you better come back. No, honestly, it's hard. I see I was like gutted that I was I I actually got dead emotional that I weren't gonna see Eileen again. And then Lorna came in and I was like, this is bad such an upgrade. I can't believe it. I was like, yes, do you later Eileen? Do you want to come in on Lorna now? No, wait till I get upgrade.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

I can't wait to watch the next upgrade.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

And I'm not a class as a young person when I'm trying to get to multiple on the owners. 26 is getting having a new brass.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

No, I can't go. No doubt. I'm not even gonna take a birthday.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

It's like, why am I in this age bucket? How is that even positive?

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Stop now. So don't worry. I feel like a look about 19, you know? Every time you're old, someone goes, Oh my god, how old are you? And you do, you have to get this. Do you know what? I'm ready, so ready for Botox. I get stressed out that much in work. I think I'm ready for Botox. I say that. I say to them in work, I say to the kids in work. I go, Oh, you stress me out that much, I'm gonna need Botox. And do you have to say to me? Gotta reforter first.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

Cheeky.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

And then I've said to one of the kids before, why do you do when you're having that conversation? I go, Why do you think I'm doing this work? Like, why? And they go, It's definitely not for them for the money because you don't get paid enough. And I go, How do you know?

SPEAKER_02 28:16

And they go, because the shoes you walk them round and really but that's I find I think because obviously yours are going to be looked after, children, their observation skills are fantastic. They are easy.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

You cannot skill. It's a they're actually skilled, they're skilled people, these kids, you know. I'm telling you now, like, I just I think what in the world, like the the missins are my favourite thing, how clever they are about like going missing and all. And you know what? Like, I'll follow, I'll follow them, and then I've followed them for half an hour. And then there's one time a kid's gone, I've been following a kid for half an hour, I'm out of breath at this point in mass matter. I've followed this kid for half an hour, yeah. And I'm thinking I've left him glue and alien in the house. Can't breathe. And turn around and going, I'm starving. And I've gone, mate same. I've been following you for the for the past how long I'm proper hungry. And you go, what day is it? I go, Oh, it's Friday. Oh, it's takeout night. Come on, we'll go back. I've walked for an hour because you've decided you want to get off, and now you've decided actually it's takeout night. I want me Mackeys and coming home.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

He said that comfy with you at the door, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

You need an emergency backpack at the door with your anhaler in.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

No, I do, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

I don't know why I left without me inhaler, but because I don't drive them on foot, so someone else follows in the car. But I we haven't had to miss them for ages. But I think these kids honestly have just got hearts of goals they all have, and working in this line of work, it's my favourite thing.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

It actually it's what keeps me in the job, and I love it, and it's it is rewarding, but uh I stay there for the for the kids and the young people 100%.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

I was debate whether to go into social work, you know. I think you'd be good. I love it. She'd be brilliant. Shall I go in today? You'd be amazing. Like you get Australia first, I've got too many things.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

Do you want to work in Australia? You you you'd be amazing at any profession. I think like like yourself. Like, I think when you've got empathy and you know, you've had your own own stuff and you you the ability to put yourself in someone else, those those are exactly the professionals that you want in your life. Carly, you are such an empath.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

But you wouldn't want those, would you like someone coming into your house and telling you what to do and being you know, and I'm not saying I always do it right. I'm sure the kids won't always agree, you know, that's right. No, we can't get everything right. We can't but I will always try my best, and I'll always, and I think that's hugely important as well, isn't it? Yeah, that's all you're doing. And I can't try your best. You know how I really, really cared about them, which is just yeah, lovely.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Whoever your social work team are, they must be so like look glad to have you on there.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

It's a lovely team. Really lovely team. No, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

I think you do, I think I think that it's just what's been put out in the media, and I would stigmatise about social workers, um, and like I would see in a lot of it learned behaviours as well. So I think it's just it's what gets fed, and you being able to come on here and say what job role you do and how you work for time matters, and how you're all a social worker and you've had a lived experience. Like I know from my my kids who I work with that if I turn around and said that if I turn around and was speaking to one of my kids and their social worker went, Well, I've had lived experience or I've gone through this together now, no, you haven't, they'd be shocked. Yeah, they would actually be shocked that it'd shock them, and I think because they know I've got this podcast, so the older one knows I I I I've got a podcast and they've watched a few episodes, I know they have, I can't I can't hide it, and I've openly said to her, look, I can't hide it, and I don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

And I I will deal with the repercussions from that, it doesn't, it doesn't faze me. Um the positive relationships I've built with her now because she's like, Oh my god, like I didn't I didn't see that is amazing. Like, we she she can come to me about a lot more things, and I feel like she thinks like she knows that I can relate to her lovely, and it's just nice because it just makes me be able to like let them know, like, yeah, I haven't openly said like this is what I've been through, but you know I have because I know you've seen the podcast, so you you're a lot more comfortable to come to me with them things.

SPEAKER_03 32:04

There's a little there's a a a young lad uh from Time Matters who uh came to Adchill University with us yesterday to speak at speak at an event. And we were talking about you know what what can teachers do to help? And and he said he's got this amazing relationship with one of his teachers because his teachers shared with him that when he was a kid his dad also went to prison. So they have this amazing relationship where they're able to to say to each other quite openly, you know, I get it. And you know, that the teacher and he and he's just like, I absolutely love talking to that teacher because he's told me um he went through what I went through when he he was a kid, and I think you know that there's there's appropriate levels of sharing, but I think that that that's a good thing to be able to say, you know, I do understand.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

You know, that embarrassment that you feel, yeah. It takes that away, doesn't it? If someone else goes, you know what, I've been through that. You're like, oh okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

And you're a professional and you're doing well in life, and you can go through that.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

I I just love the fact that you've came on, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 33:05

With very short notice, I have to say. Did I only ask you yesterday or the day before? It's either Tuesday. Yes. But I mean, Colin, what you're doing Thursday. We still be on a podcast. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. It's like we just check what I'm doing. Yeah, okay, I'll come. Honestly, though.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Every time we get a guest on, I say this all the time, and it's because of the recording times we have, we have to keep it like dead on because we record like five and a day, we have to keep it like dead on the hour because once we go over it, then it gets shorter and shorter for each guest. So I feel like we haven't even scratched any surface. I say this to every guest, but we genuinely haven't we do like yeah, we're gonna need you to come back on.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

You might have to gladly. I'm gonna meet I'm gonna meet ease.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

She knows you know, you're gonna have to host it. Lorna's invited about six million people to host it after I go to the house. She's abandoning the mass to a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

I'll never can I've been told by the bull podcast studio. The pole podcast studios said you can. I couldn't get my words out there.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

So yeah, it's happening. But no, thank you, with no notice, jumping in. Very, very welcome, always. But yeah, it's been amazing. How we like to end our podcast episodes is we like to say what we are grateful for. So would you like to start with what you're grateful for?

SPEAKER_02 34:19

I think I'm grateful for my family because we've been through really hard times and really good times, and we're always there, and it's what kept me sane and happy, and like to just do well in life with this about.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

Yeah, I'm always grateful for them than I mean.

SPEAKER_03 34:38

I love that answer. What's yours?

SPEAKER_00 34:41

What's yours? I'm struggling still.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

Um, I'm grateful for guests that are willing to jump on the podcast with like little to no notice and just do it with complete enthusiasm. And and and I'm I'm grateful for the fact that we've been able to stay in touch over the years and we might not see each other a lot, and and just just how much you brought to the table when you've come to like how how much you've changed people's certainly within the Time Matters family, the perspective of what social workers are because people are like, What you've got someone who's trained to be a social worker coming on our like residential, and then they're like, Oh, we love Carla, and I'm just I'm I'm grateful for that. I'm definitely grateful for that.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

The pressure live. Oh no. Um I'm grateful for the fact that we're gonna go and eat after this.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

No, do you know what I'm grateful for? I'm grateful for the fact I can take two pingles in two minutes because I am in agony. No, I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful for today, I'm grateful for Carla that's been on today. I'm grateful for me, Nan, for coming on. So last minute, the periods as well. Like, we booked this in four days ago because I was like, June is back to back. But no, I'm just grateful that you've came on, I'm grateful that you're gonna come on again. And I'm saying that out loud because it's gonna get posted and now you've got anyway. No choice. Um, but yeah, like just thank you so much for coming on. I'm grateful for you.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

I really, really feel privileged. I'm really thank you for having me. Oh, she's coming back!

SPEAKER_01 36:15

But as always, if you've got any questions, email will be at the bottom. If you've got any questions about social workers, pass them on to us and we'll ask Carla. Because, or she can even come on and address some of them on the next episode. Um, I might actually get some questions that a few kids want to ask. Maybe do that in time matters. Um, get some kids to write some questions if they want to ask one of our guests, and it'll be a good idea. It'll be clear. Yeah, that's what we can do for the next one. But yeah, as always, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for the support. Hope you come to the next one. Hope you'd enjoyed the last one. Hope you'd enjoyed this one. Um, as always, love you, bye. Love you. Bye.