Live Authentically

You can’t heal what you keep hidden, and you can’t build a healthy church on polished stories. We start with a personal moment that proves how easy it is to downplay a real problem, then we let 1 John 1:5–10 do what it does best: pull us into the light. John’s words are direct. If we claim fellowship with God while walking in darkness, we lie. If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive and cleanse. That’s not pressure to perform, it’s an invitation to be honest and finally get free.

Pastor Andrew walks through four dangers of inauthentic living: deceiving ourselves, deceiving others, making God look like a liar, and discovering that hiding gets easier over time until everything fractures. Then we flip the script to the payoff of authentic Christian community: true fellowship, real spiritual growth, and a church culture where confession is normal and grace is practiced, not just preached. You’ll also hear simple, practical steps you can take right away: reflect regularly, confess to trusted friends, share temptation early, confess quickly after failure, and speak honestly instead of vaguely.

A closing panel with Emma and Will makes it personal. They talk about fears like gossip and rejection, and they share stories of grief, conflict, and habitual sin where community didn’t crush them, it carried them. If you’ve ever wondered whether “walking in the light” is possible for you, this is a clear, hopeful place to start. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs courage, and leave a review with one takeaway you’re putting into practice this week.

Transcript

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Communion Announcement And Series Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Meet yet. My name is Andrew. I'm one of the pastors here at CBC. Just wanted to give one quick announcement before we get into today's sermon. Next week after service, we're going to be having communion. And so after the sermon concludes, we'll dismiss, we'll put a little five-minute kind of countdown on the screen. If you've got a jet or if you aren't a follower of Jesus yet, that's a great time to have to uh hit the road. But we're going to come back into the sanctuary after service is done and we're going to enjoy communion together as a church body. So I ask, would you plan accordingly? We'll try and end the sermon right on time so you can spend that time together. If you've been here for the last couple of weeks, we're in the middle of a series where we're diving into what it means to participate in the life of a healthy church. In week one, we talked about the church being made up of people who genuinely love Jesus and devote to him daily. Week two, we talked about the impulse of Christians to pursue one another relationally. And today we're going to continue by talking about how Christians live authentically with themselves and

A Story About Self Deception

SPEAKER_00 1:00

with each other. But let me give you a story that'll maybe help you understand where we're going today. I don't know about you, I am pretty good at deceiving myself, especially when it comes to taking care of my health. Like I'm a terrible patient. I am trying to get better, but I'm not that great. I'll give you an example. When I was 12, I had a little biking accident that led to my fingertip being partially severed. Don't worry, they put it back on. It's a little crooked, but it still works. So my fingers kind of cut off. I come into the house, I go get a paper towel and I cover up the wound. I walk into the kitchen because I know if I show my mom right away, she is gonna freak out and lose it. So I come into the kitchen, I'm like, hey mom, I've had a small accident. And maybe when you're done chopping the onions, if you're not that busy, if you could help me tape my finger back on, that would be great. So I take the paper towel off, and can I tell you, the second I took it off, it was the fingertip just tipped on over and it was gone. And she started screaming and crying and losing her mind. She started me, she said, Andrew, get in the car now. We're going to the hospital. It immediately became clear at the emergency room this was not something we were going to fix with a little bit of tape and glue. I had deceived myself. I had an inaccurate understanding of my brokenness. I didn't realize the danger I was in, I didn't realize the danger I was in because I wasn't being honest with my situation. I wanted to go back out and play, and so I was willing to overlook my condition in order to just keep on doing the things that I was doing. And I think in the same way that there's a possibility for us to be deceived and sometimes inauthentic when it comes to our spiritual lives. We can sometimes like pretend that things are okay on the outside when deep down we're a wreck. And in that, you can begin to see why, hey, authentic living within Christian community is the place where spiritual growth can happen. You can see why authentic living is this requirement that if we're gonna follow Jesus fully, if we're gonna move beyond just listening to worship and sermons like this on a Sunday and actually be God's church, it demands that we live authentically with ourselves, with God and each other. And so today we're gonna look at a passage in 1 John chapter 1 where the church had to endure this same conversation and see how they were advised

1 John 1 On Light And Sin

SPEAKER_00 3:25

in that moment. Would you join me in prayer? Jesus, thank you. God, what an invitation we have in you to be fully known and fully loved. That the King of the universe wants to know the depths of our hearts, that the King of the universe invites Himself to our table to know us as fully as possible. And so, Lord, would we be the kind of people that give you space, even in a moment like this? Would we give you space to say, God, I actually want you to speak to me, I actually want you to change me and make me like you. And so, God, we give you this time. God, we we lay down the barriers and the walls that we might try to put between us, and we say, if now is the moment to have an authentic experience with you, God, then let it be. So, Lord, would you help us to set aside our comfort, to set aside the easy path and choose the narrow one? So, God, would you speak to us? We're fully expecting that you are the kind of God that speaks through moments like this, and so would you open our hearts to hear you. We love you and we praise you in your name. Amen. So, if you got your Bible, we're looking at 1 John chapter 1. This, if you if you don't know, this is one of the few letters that the apostle John wrote to the church because they were being overwhelmed with bad theology and bad practice. So John has to write this letter to kind of correct their thinking, but also to encourage them. Hey, if you're going to participate in the life of the church, you've got to do it this way. And listen to what he writes beginning in verse 5, chapter 1. It says, This is the message that we have heard from him and proclaimed to you that God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. Boy, that's a pretty intense start to a letter. But in it, John is pretty clear that if we communicate honestly about our spiritual condition, there is plenty of opportunity for cleansing and salvation. But if we're being inauthentic, if we're not being honest with what's happening on the inside, we are placing ourselves

Four Dangers Of Inauthentic Faith

SPEAKER_00 6:00

in harm's way for our souls. So I'm gonna do a couple things today. I want to start off by hey, here are the four dangers of living inauthentically. The first danger is this we deceive ourselves.

unknown 6:11

Right?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

John says in the text, if we say we have fellowship, or if we say that we have no sin and we actually aren't living that out, we are deceiving ourselves. And in this, John's beginning to make it clear: hey, the first person that pays the price when we choose to live inauthentically is actually ourselves. It's like this meme I've got here. Yeah. I'm cool. What's up? I know things. I get on the old YouTube every once in a while. But this idea, it seems that that impulse of honestly appraising your situation is critical for following Jesus. When you look throughout the New Testament, you look throughout the Bible, people all throughout the it requires this moment of honest and authentic understanding of where I am, if I'm going to truly follow Jesus and come his way. Look at Zacchaeus, look at the woman at the well, look at the prodigal son. All these people were able to look at their lives and be honest with their spiritual condition and admit that they were in the dark. They don't try and save face, they don't try and explain it away. They admitted where they failed and God met them where they were at. I say all this to say, hey, if we're gonna start this journey of having authentic Christian community, that it's important to have an understanding of where we really are in our spiritual life if we're ever gonna grow. And that can only happen if there's these moments of authenticity, if there's these moments of honesty with ourselves where we can really name what's actually happening in our spiritual life. And so the first danger of, hey, if you're living inauthentically, the first danger is you begin to deceive yourself. But not only do we deceive ourselves, when we live inauthentically, we also deceive others around us. We can give the appearance of being fruitful and being okay, but internally we're a wreck. And boy, that that's terrible for us, but it's also terrible for the people around us. Here's what I think begins to happen when we start practicing deceiving others. We we begin to divide our lives between the public version that everybody sees and the private version that we know. And as a result, we begin living in this internal chaos. We spend energy trying to keep up this facade and we begin living in this cognitive dissonance of, hey, the person I'm pretending to be on the outside isn't the person I am on the inside. And when we begin tricking people into thinking we're okay, what we begin doing is the people that could have been the avenues of God's grace in your life now cannot provide that grace because you've duped them into thinking you're okay. You can begin to see, hey, living authentically allows you to receive the blessing of being known. That if we're going to enjoy the Christian life, there has to be this place where we can bring our most authentic self to somebody else and be cared for by God's people. And it would make sense that God's church is the place where we can do that. Because whether we like it or not, there is tremendous safety in somebody else knowing your spiritual condition. But if you get lost in the woods, your chances of surviving increase exponentially if somebody knows your last location. If I'm going for a walk and I get lost and I'm texting Brandy back home, hey, I'm at Lincoln Woods, I decided to take the blue trail and I got a little cold, so I'm wearing my red jacket, they're gonna know exactly where to send rescue and where to send help. In a similar way, if you're having these authentic, honest conversations about what's going on in your spiritual life with people around you, it will increase your chances of survival when life is not going well. If you're in regular conversations about what's happening in your spiritual walk, you'll begin to realize, hey, there's there's I don't have to waste the time learning how did we get here because I'm already aware of where you've been at. If nobody knows the addiction you've been struggling with, if nobody knows your lack of love or devotion for Jesus, then we've got to go all the way back to the beginning and begin asking, hey, how did we get here? And in ministry, I often get the call when it's too late. Like there's a secret sin that's been festering for months and months, and all of a sudden it finally breaks over the wall that you've created, and it becomes clear that, hey, you've been playing it cool for so long and nobody else knew. And now, instead of having the conversation of like, hey, I think I lingered a little bit too long on an Instagram post, or hey, maybe I have stopped reading my Bible and things like that, now we're having the conversation about somebody being fully addicted to pornography or cheating on a spouse or doing something wild. And instead of having to tend to a minor scrape, we're asked to tend to a car crash with no seatbelts on. Man, I get it. It's tough. It's hard to admit that I don't have it all together. It's hard to admit in moments when I'm in need of help. But boy, the chaos of choosing to hide it is always worse than the discomfort of bringing it to light. The chaos pays uh danger and injury tenfold over that moment of saying, Hey, I don't think I've got it all together. Can somebody help me? Here's the thing: you're not the only one who pays the price when you deceive others. Your brothers and sisters pay the price too. In verse 7, John says, if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. The blood of Jesus, his son, cleanses us from all sin. But boy, the opposite of that is true as well. That if we walk in the dark, if we choose to live inauthentically, we miss out on the rich fellowship that God intended us to have as his church. We miss out on one of the greatest avenues that God gives us for receiving his grace, and that's our church. And so the second danger we learn of living inauthentically is we deceive others. The third is that God is made a liar. John says, if we say we haven't sinned, then we make God a liar and his word is not in us. Man, that's a crazy statement when you think about it, that we have the capacity to try and make God look like a liar. That we're essentially saying that what when we say things like, hey, I'm all set, I've got no sin, I'm really good to go, what we're essentially saying is God's claims about our lives are false. That if we're if we're living inauthentically, we can make it seem like God was right about humans having sin except for me. Like, hey, all that stuff that God says is is right about everybody else except me, I'm perfectly good and I'm okay. And in doing so, we actually make it more difficult for non-believers to accept the truth of God. I think about it. If we say we're sinless, if we say we've got it all good, then what we're essentially doing is, hey, I've I've self-helped my way to become the version of who I am today. Hey, I've figured it out with my own energy because of my good discipline and my good planning. Hey, I think I've good. God didn't really help me with all this, and we're robbing God of the glory he deserves.

unknown 13:32

Right?

SPEAKER_00 13:32

It's like when when my kids, right, like I'll help them all morning on a project. We're talking one of those Lego sets that take 837 pieces, four hours and two years off your life. And their friends will come over. Hey, look what I made. What I made? Did you see daddy in there with the glue and everything? No, you didn't see it in the same way. When we live inauthentically, when we give the picture of, hey, we've sorted it out, that we've got no sin, we're essentially saying, God, I've done the work. God, I'm I'm I don't need you anymore. So, man, if someone's first introduction to Christianity is gonna be your life, tell them the whole story. Our testimonies don't start with how I fixed everything in 90 days. Our testimonies begin with, hey, I was in sin and needed Jesus. Hey, I still depend on Jesus every single day. I'm still in a world where I need God's mercy every single morning. You see, when we do that, when we live authentically in that way, God gets the glory he deserves, and the gospel is displayed more clearly for somebody who's just beginning to figure it out. But here's the other thing not only do we make God a liar if we live in authentically, we give evidence that we haven't been in God's word. But he says, if you say that you live in the truth, or if you say you walk in the light but don't, you're you're showing that God's word is not in you. You're like a kid who didn't do the summer reading. When the test comes up in September, when you go back to school, the evidence becomes really clear, hey, you don't know the content. The Bible is filled with indications that humans have sin and that Jesus' sacrifice makes a way for us to be cleansed from that sin. And so when we say that we have no sin, what we're saying is, hey, I actually don't know what's in the word. I actually don't agree with the message that's in there or it doesn't pertain to me. So I pray, man, would you be authentic? Would you be willing to share your struggles? Would you be willing to talk about your sin so that the glory of God increases all the more? The fourth danger of inauthentic is living is this is that it becomes easier over time. This one isn't necessarily in the text, but I think it's worth mentioning from an observational standpoint. And I've been in ministry long enough to see some of my friends have moral failures. I've had to sit front row, I've had to address their churches when everything hit the fan. And in it, there's these moments where we were having these difficult conversations of, hey, how did we get here, bro? Man, where did it begin going wrong? And usually it begins with this moment where they had opportunity to come clean, but they felt like they had too much to lose. And so they chose to hide things. And over time it became easier for them to play the game in public and be a wreck in private. They got better at, hey, this is where I can tell the lies so that people think I'm okay. They got better at isolating them for that uh isolating themselves from spaces where they would have to be their authentic selves. And it got easier and easier over time to split themselves between the authentic and the inauthentic version until one day they finally fractured and they broke. And as much chaos as it was for these guys to admit their sin, that moment of public humiliation was finally freeing for them when you asked them about it. Finally, I can feel like I'm not lying anymore. I've got nothing else to lose. It's finally out on the table. And you and I'm like, hey, that moment was the moment when they finally began finding the freedom that they needed all along. Friends, it's possible that some of us have strengthened that muscle of inauthenticity so much that we don't even know the real version of ourselves anymore. Man, I encourage you, would you put down the mask? Would you choose authentic living today, that there's freedom to be had in radical honesty, there's freedom to be had in confessing sin with brothers and sisters in Christ. That's the first step to real and true salvation. Man, I pray that as we strengthen that muscle, that we'd be less deceived ourselves, that we deceive the people around us less, and that we wouldn't rob God of the

Why Honesty Creates True Fellowship

SPEAKER_00 17:55

glory he deserves. So you can begin to see that there's real danger in inauthentic living, but I want to kind of flip the script now and start looking at, hey, what are the great things that come when we choose to live authentically as God's church? Authentic living leads to true fellowship. When we look at verse 7, you ever have that moment where you finally confess that weird thing you do and somebody else confesses it too? Like, hey, yeah, some of y'all don't want y'all even want to confess it right now. Watch out. Like one time I was talking to a friend and we were saying, hey man, like I like this particular type of video game that only really nerdy people like. And I was a little nervous, I said it out loud, and when that one brother admitted it too, I was like, oh, a fellow nerd, indeed. We are kindred spirits, we are one brother. But in this moment of choosing to be vulnerable, in this moment of having the conversation of, hey, I actually like that thing that most people think is kind of weird, it led to a deep bond and a deep friendship because we were finally sharing things that we had probably hidden from other people before. John says, when we live in the light, we have true fellowship with one another, which means there's a communal element to living authentically that we've got to navigate as a church. You see, when the church is filled with people that are living authentically, it increases our ability to live authentically within ourselves. Right? When you see other people in the church having conversations of that depth, when you see other people in the church confessing their sin to that degree, it sets the bar for the kind of conversations that we can have as a church. Man, if you want to talk about football in the weather, go to the paint aisle at Home Depot on a Thursday night, talk to any of the one of the guys there, and they could talk to you about football and the weather all day. But if you want to talk about receiving the gospel, if you want to talk about the kingdom of God, if you want to talk about fleeing sin and giving Jesus the glory he deserves, that ought to be a regular conversation of people here in our church. This is why in our community groups we always ask the question hey, where did you feed your flesh? Because we want to create opportunities for God's people to be honest with their sin and repent and continue to move in his direction. James says this in chapter 5, verse 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. Church, there's healing to be had in the confession of brothers and sisters in Christ. Man, this should be the place you feel the safest to confess. That we should make it an expectation that if we're going to be a part of God's body, then we are a confessing people. And in doing so, people find the freedom to begin to share about their sin for the first time and find that freedom and find that healing that's promised to us in the scripture. That's the beautiful kind of fellowship that John is describing here in the church in 1 John 1. And so if you want to participate in a healthy Christian community, it means, hey, I am going to be a part of God's confessing people. We get ready to wrap it up and then move into our panel. Let me give you some practicals. If this is the case, that we are invited to live authentically,

Practical Steps To Live Authentically

SPEAKER_00 21:10

then how do we do it? First, reflect regularly. If you want to live authentically, we've got to begin by having an accurate understanding of where we're at. And give yourself time to find out where you are in your spiritual life. Name your doubts, name your sins, identify the trends in your life. If there's no space to stop and reflect of where your life is going, of hey, what am I doing that's actually honoring and what's dishonoring God? Then the first step is to take a moment and take inventory. To say, God, where if you find yourself that you've been so busy in life that you haven't had five minutes to sit down and say, God, what's going on in my life? And boy, today I beg you, I plead, would you give God five minutes and ask that question in some silence? Say God, what is going on in my life? What's honoring and what's dishonoring? The second, confess, begin by confessing to a small circle of trusted friends. Proverbs 18 24 says, A man of many companions comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. James encourages us to confess to one another within the church. If you're here and you maybe grow up in a Catholic church, boy, this is good news for you. You don't have to attend confession and share your sins with one person behind a screen. You can share it with your brothers and sisters in Christ. And so if you haven't had the opportunity to practice confession, if you haven't had the opportunity to share what's actually happening in your spiritual life, then would you find just a small group of two or three people and begin establishing a group of trusted friends for yourself? Invite the person out for coffee, try and hang out with that person regularly and continue to move the conversation in a spiritual direction. And then here's a freebie. Give them the gift of going first. Be the first one to the table and say, Hey, I've got something to share. You'll feel great because you got it off your chest, but you'll also begin to experience God's love and his love through a relationship that maybe you didn't have before. You can trust that, hey, God is pleased by your humility, by willing to share the deep things of your life with somebody else. The third thing, share when you're tempted. Don't wait until you've done the sin to begin reaching out to your friends. Share at the moment the temptation arises. Boy, I feel tremendously safe when I can text my life group and say, hey bros, I'm thinking about doing something dumb. Can you guys help me be accountable in these next few hours, in these next few days, with this conversation, with all these things? Can you help me make sure I'm doing the right thing? Because I promise you, the moment I leave, it'll be tempting not to do the right thing. And by sharing at that moment, I get it out into the world. I begin that moment of saying, hey, it's not just me in my head. I am leaving it in the hands of God and my brothers in Christ and seeing how God will meet me in that place. So, man, would you make it your impulse that the moment you're tempted, find a group of friends that you can have those types of conversations to reach out and share those temptations? The fourth, confess quickly. If we fall into sin, man, don't wait three years to bring it up. Make it a reflex to bring it to others quickly. It'll do two things. It's gonna help you get to the cross faster. There's a natural cycle that after you sin, you tend to go into this valley of shame and guilt, and that can stop a lifetime of spiritual growth by just living in that valley. But by choosing to confess quickly, you begin that climb on the way out when brothers and sisters know what's going on and they'll start pushing you in Christ's direction. But secondly, it'll also help you fight off the temptation to hide or to talk about it differently later. Which connects to my last one. Confess honestly. Don't just say I'm struggling or hey, it's been a rough few days. Share honestly what you did and how you did it. There's freedom and honesty about sharing what's really going on. We avoid deceiving ourselves and deceiving other people when we talk about the actual details of what's going on in our life. I don't want to get to the conversation six months from now and say, hey, how come we didn't know it was this bad? I don't want to find out, hey, you you convinced me it was something small all along when boy you were in the in the cage with a lion this entire time. And so if that's the case, it requires all of us to be the kind of people who share honestly what's happening. Boy, if there ever was a safe space for this to happen, it's gotta be God's church. And so can we commit as a family of God to live authentically so that these conversations can begin to happen? As we get ready to close and my panelists come on up this morning. I know it's been a bit of a heavy conversation, but I hope you've been begin to see this type of community is different from popping in and popping out on a Sunday. We've seen from two different It's all right, y'all can come up, don't worry. Yeah, come on up. Grab a chair, make yourself comfortable. We've seen from two different books in the Bible how honest and authentic living

Panel On Fears Like Gossip

SPEAKER_00 26:30

is a part of the church's nature. And if we want to experience the kind of power and grace that's available to the king to those of us in the kingdom of God, we've got to avail ourselves to this kind of confessing community. So I pray, man, would you hear from John and James and many of the authors in the scriptures the invitation to participate in God's family fully? And don't settle to be a visitor, be a part of the family. You can say things in front of your family that you can't say with people outside. Would you choose to be a part of God's family? And I pray, as you experience God's love in community, would Jesus become all the more clear? Would you realize we do serve an amazing and glorious God that's worthy of our affection? Jesus wants you to be fully known and fully loved. And he gave us the church as one of the means for that to happen. Would you take him up on that offer today? As we've been doing the last couple of weeks, we've been kind of tail-ending with the panel. So that way you can see some people that are practicing this in real time. Well, we might have to switch seats, brother. I'm on a short leash today. Let's do that. I'm gonna take this. Oh yeah, mic check. Hey. This is Emma and Will.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Emma Will. Alright. You're talking about authentic community. I'm gonna share my first question here. What are some fears we have about being authentic within church community?

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Yeah, certain um fear that I had actually ties into um my upbringing. And I just want to preface, I'm saying this not to excuse my behavior, but it certainly shapes how I handled sharing things as as I grew up. Um one of the the fears that I have um growing up, I noticed um growing up, um certain like family and friends, um, I did notice a lot of gossip. Um so that did create like a hesitant hesitancy to to share like what's going on in my life, because man, if I if I share this with them, is the whole world gonna know what I'm going through? Um so that was like one one certain fear. Um and unfortunately, I allowed that to train me when I'm going through difficult things, um, when I'm struggling with things, it's not my natural inclination to share what's going on and and to confess. So that was like a big fear of mine. Um and I say this like I'm not some perfect Christian that has this all figured out. I'm not some elite Christian that um does this perfectly, but um, yeah, that was like a huge fear of mine growing up. Um yeah.

unknown 29:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Um, and I can't talk for everyone, but I think the greatest fear I had um that being fully authentic and vulnerable with people would actually lead them to reject me. Like once they got close enough, they'd see how imperfect or weird and nerdy I am, which is immensely um, and they'd be like, nah, that's just not for me. Uh honestly, it was something I experienced actually my entire life um before coming to know God. So I actually expected it wherever I went. And I still have these fears. Being in community hasn't just completely gotten rid of them, but it has changed it from, oh, this is for sure gonna happen, you're gonna get rejected, to how else do you expect people to know you in order to love you well? Uh and so over the six years that I've now been a part of CBC, I've had my fair share of conflict. Um, and yet every single time I wasn't rejected in the end. I actually had a deeper relationship with them where love and appreciation actually poured out from both of us to each other and not the hatred I was actually expecting to receive from being authentic.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

That's crazy. When I hear you guys talking, it's like this idea that, hey, I expect gossip or rejection because that's what I know to be true in the world, and to find something different like indicates, hey, the church is a different place. And so, yeah, we gotta lean into that. That's really

Stories Of Grace Through Confession

SPEAKER_00 30:55

helpful to see. Uh talk about a time when some uh talk about a time when someone gave you the freedom to be honest about something you were struggling with, and what did that do for you in your spiritual life?

SPEAKER_01 31:08

Sure. Um, about almost two years ago, uh my dad suddenly passed away. Uh five days before Thanksgiving. I was in Nevada, uh, which is where I'm from, and when he uh when he had passed, so we had to cancel our family plans to celebrate a holiday or the holiday and instead come home and plan a funeral. It rocked my entire world and honestly my faith with it. And I remember being so busy with just cleaning out his apartment, making sure uh his family that he was caring for was being taken care of as well, and taking care of my siblings and my mom at the same time. So it had been a while uh before I was actually able to finally meet up with my community group again. Um and I remember when I got there, a good friend of mine uh was just ended up saying, Hey, if all you can give us is your tears, that's more than okay. Just let us in however you can. And I remember absolutely bawling my eyes out. Um, so so incredibly hard and sharing how I felt abandoned by everyone because nobody was checking in on me. Um, and that person giving me the freedom to be that vulnerable and authentic actually led to everyone in our group learning to understand each other better and love deeper through the conflict. And what this did for me was teach me conflict doesn't have to be scary if the goal is reconciliation and deeper appreciation instead of just being right all the time.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Yeah, that's really good. I remember a certain part um in my walk with Jesus, it was pretty pretty early on. And after a sermon, there was a a small team that's invited us up for prayer, um, just one-on-one. Um, and they prompted us like, hey, if you're struggling with something, if there's anything you're going through that you'd like prayer for and you you want to talk to someone about, we we invite you to come up. And I remember in that moment, that was one of the first times where I was just able to really empty out what I'm struggling with, what I was going through, things from my past, things I was currently dealing with. And similar to what Emma said, there there wasn't condemnation waiting for me or judgment or hate, but someone who genuinely cared about me, someone who wanted me to walk in freedom. And I think what that taught me is that similar to what was mentioned today, that you can continue to live this this double life where you're projecting one way, but in secret you're you're living another way. Um that can only go on for so long. Um eventually your your sin will find you out. Um and it might not even be sin, it might generally just be a tough moment in your life and you just you don't even feel comfortable sharing it. It definitely could be that too. But what it taught me is the pain of withholding is far greater than that brief moment of embarrassment when you do share. And there's a real there's a real peace and a real joy. The Bible calls it walking upright. And that doesn't mean you walk around like this, but you're walking in relationship with God, and you're not secretly, you don't secretly have this cloud over your head that, man, uh I'm I'm not actually living authentically because I'm I'm not confessing. And you know, with with confession, the the scriptures are so clear, this this healing, there's not condemnation waiting for you, and the blood of Christ is more than sufficient to cover whatever mistake you made in your life.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Yeah, it's so good. It's like the the uh act of confessing with people lets you know something that you knew in theory now in practice. Hey, I know I could be forgiven by Jesus, but when I admit it in front of my friends that love me and they remind me of the truth of the cross that I am forgiven, then I feel it in my bones versus just like a theoretical fictional idea. So it's crazy, right? If we're gonna practice and experience confession and the healing that comes with that, it's like, yeah, could this be the place that God would use for the sake of me feeling that forgiveness that might move the needle in the right spot? What are some

Building Relationships That Go Deep

SPEAKER_00 35:25

practical ways that someone who doesn't currently have this kind of relationship can begin building one?

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Uh yeah, I think uh like a practical step is just being honest with yourself and um honest with the Lord, number one. Um like if you're confessing to to people but you're not confessing to God, it's yeah it's it's kind of backwards. So um yeah, just just a practical thing, like it it's okay. Um and when I say that, I'm not affirming any any evil or or any any sin, but it's okay to admit, hey, I I need help, I'm I'm dealing with something, I'm struggling with something habitually. I I can't I can't break this chain. It's okay to admit that. Um so starting there, uh confessing to God, and then like it was mentioned today, just finding brothers and sisters that you can trust and and confessing to them. And the scriptures are are true. When when you confess, there's healing, there's a peace beyond understanding. Um and knowing like that sin is actually potentially hurting your relationship with God. Um it's it's hurting your closeness with God. Not that God can't handle it, but um part of a relationship is is being open and honest. And yeah, if we can't be open and honest with our creator, then um it's it's gonna make make it hard for us to see him, up to us to hear him, and for us to for him to work in our lives.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Yeah. Um for this question, the word I kind of want to focus on for like I kind of have two practicals. The first one is kind of relating to building. Relationship could begin building one. Um and it reminds me of what Tori actually said last week is um basically that relationships that are true and deep are not found, they are forged. Um, you don't just stumble into one and instantly click. And so I think the first practical is don't expect your deepest relationships to be people that you just suddenly connected with and you got deep out of nowhere. Most of the time, 95% of the time, you're gonna have to work at it. Um, and I've seen that in my life. I had to work at relationships that I thought we will never be close, and now they're the closest people in my life. Um, and then I think the second practical that kind of goes off of that don't wait around for other people to start coming up to you. Don't be so focused on yourself and like, why is no one coming up to talk to me? Why is no one doing this or that? Be the person who does that. Show that you are ready and you want a deep friendship by going out to other people and getting to know them, inviting them for coffee. Don't wait for people to come to you. It's very much a almost kind of like I'm in the center of the world and people should come to me. And I think the world we live in just teaches us that, that um expectation that we should have from everyone. And that's just not reality. And so I think step out of your comfort zone and be that person looking for friendships. Um, but also don't just expect it to just click and everything is rainbows and roses.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Rainbows and roses, man. I get down with some rainbows and roses, man. Uh yeah, I think maybe connected to that is reality. Hey, it's a discipline. Like uh you just have to commit to being there with the person over time. And so if that's the case, it's hey, I just got to put myself in the room regularly. And with that, is uh some of that freedom to talk freely will come over time, which is okay too. And so maybe just a practical one within the context of the church here, we've got Bible studies. If you're not ready to get into a room and spill your guts with somebody, that's okay for time. But if you're looking for a middle step, we've got Bible studies within the church that kind of are a starting place for those conversations. You can identify other people within the church that you can begin having those conversations. It's mediated by some other study piece. That way you're not just focusing on, hey, confessing for one hour straight. Ah some people are like that. They like, they're like, I'm ready. But that reality of hey, would you join a Bible study? Would you find a place where somebody can know your name or you can begin those relationships? The last one, how is confessing within

How Confession Clarifies The Gospel

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Christian community made the gospel more clear?

SPEAKER_02 39:34

Yeah, I think um a big thing is I heard all the time like Jesus loves you, like God loves you, and you're never too far from him. Uh your sin is never can never drive you too far from him. But I think actively like living that out with coming to my group every week and saying, like, hey, this is how I I fed my flesh, like this is where I I didn't I didn't do a good job this week. Um and just seeing them like meeting me where I'm at, um not projecting like what I ought to be. Granted, they give encouragement and um admonishment like if needed, and like I there's totally a place for that. Um but I think it's just reminding me like how deep God's love is. Um like truly the the cross, the the resurrection, like the depth of that is not it doesn't just save you, but it also brings you closer to with God year after year, decade after decade. And that's the truth that I'm constantly reminded of by the people of God as I confess to them, as I share my burdens with them. Um yeah, they just they just continually remind me like how deep God's love is, and um it's in that awe of like, man, God loves me and each one of us this much that I'm compelled to to continue to do it because I don't want anything getting in my relationship with God. Um so it just incentivize incentivized me that yeah, there isn't condemnation waiting for me. And just like when I if I can confess and receive love from my brothers in Christ, how much how much more perfect is is God gonna do it um when I confess to him?

SPEAKER_01 41:14

Yeah, I think I um I remember an experience I had when I was brand baby new to community here at CBC, um, which feels like yesterday, but I'm realizing it was like almost six years ago, which is insane. Um but sorry, I realize I've just been story after story about my life. Sorry, but that's just my experience. Um and I think that's cool to hear other people's experience, especially if you're not sure how community works. But about six years ago, I remember I was brand spanking new, and I was still living and actually in Connecticut, and so I was driving to our community group and I was preparing to get excommunicated. I was like, I have a thing I have to confess. Everyone's gonna be like, you're not good enough, you're not perfect enough, how could you fall into this sin? And I was confessing that, hey, I fell into smoking weed. And I was like in this group for not even a month. I was like, there, that's it. They're gonna be done with me. I'm gonna have to like get out. There's gonna be a sign on the door saying, Emma, not allowed ever, um, with my face here, um, not even wanted, rejected. Like that was was gonna be the word. And I got in and I'm shaken, I'm trembling, and we're just sitting in the in a circle, and I'm just like, okay, I'm gonna die. Um and then it came to my turn, and I was like, yeah, okay, so I did this in the Bible, and then it's like, okay, how did you feed your flesh? And I was like, um, well, um, I actually smoked weed, and they could see I'm trembling, I'm scared, and I hated that I fell into it. I had been trying to quit it for months, and um, I was relatively new to faith. I was more new to taking it seriously and being disciplined in it. Um, and I was shaking, and I remember saying that and just looking down, not meeting anyone's eyes. And one of the girls there, no one spoke, but the first thing I heard come out of someone's mouth was, thank you for trusting us with that. Not, how could you? You're horrible, get out of here, and then trip me on the way out. It was, wow, thank you so much for sorry to mean that was kind of funny, but um uh I was shocked that I was met with love and grace and mercy. And it hit me in that moment as I was driving home, I was crying, thanking God, which don't do because it kind of makes it hard to see the road, but I was just thanking him, and sorry. Um, I was thanking him and it clicked that wow, that's exactly what you ask. Just my heart, as it is, where it's at. You don't ask me to clean myself up before I come to you. You don't ask me to be perfect. If I could be perfect, then you sent your son down on that cross for no reason. If I could ever obtain that, that means nothing. And so in that moment, just and in that that night, it was just like, hey, thank you for confessing. Now, how can we help you fight this? And so we made a plan of like anytime I was tempted, like your point earlier, they would flood my phone with a bunch of verses to help me read and be in scripture to get my mind off of the temporary and focus more on eternity. Um, and then, and I mean, goodness, it's crazy. This coming January, it'll be six years since I've smoked weed now, and it's all because of the authenticity and the vulnerability and the love, grace, and mercy that they showed me. That was just a reflection of the love, grace, and mercy that they had known from God first. And so it's it's been amazing.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

Praise God, man. That's great. Thank you. Thank you guys for sharing and kind of bringing us into your world. And folks, I hope you can see that reality of hey, this we didn't come up with this. This is God's blueprint for how the church should work. And so if you don't trust us, would you trust Jesus and try? Would you take him at his word? Would you read the scripture and search it for yourself and see that it is true that a community of confessing Christians can really make

Closing Prayer And Next Week

SPEAKER_00 45:05

the kingdom clear and the gospel clear for the world around us? Would you stand and pray with me? Jesus, thank you for the opportunity to live authentically before you. God, thank you that you give us real tangible places to practice it with one another here within the church. And so, God, help us to be the kind of people that take advantage of your plan and your procedure for how we can function within the church. Uh, Lord, it's scary. It's gonna take some braveness and some boldness and some courage amongst us to want to try and step out into this for the first time. So would you help us? Uh, would you help us to be open, to share your love and real practical conversations? Lord, bless my friends as we leave this place. Help us to make your kingdom known. We love you in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. God bless. We'll see you next week. Make sure to stick around for communion next week.