Growing Up in Small Town Ontario (Measured in Tim Hortons)

What makes a town "small"? We have a very Canadian answer: the number of Tim Hortons. One or none? That's a small town, just like the ones we grew up in.

In this episode, we look back at what it was like growing up in small-town Ontario in the 80s and 90s. We share stories about the freedom kids had, the sense of community, and the moments that would probably never happen today.

Misha tells the story of a strange encounter with two police officers who somehow knew her name without having to ask. Larissa remembers the time her dad was late to pick her little sister up from school, so the principal simply drove her home. We also talk about Block Parents, knowing your neighbours, and why so many kids spent their days outside until the streetlights came on.

Of course, small-town life wasn't perfect. We discuss some of the downsides too, including the lack of diversity and the fact that you lose touch with peers when everyone moves away.

Whether you grew up in a small town or are just curious about this part of Canadian culture, this episode offers a fun glimpse into everyday life in Ontario—complete with a healthy dose of nostalgia and a few surprising stories.

🎧 Perfect for English learners who want to learn natural Canadian English while exploring Canadian culture.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It's dark, obviously. Um, and I'm walking and a police car pulls up next to me. Hmm. And I'm a little like, oh I mean, I don't feel in danger because I'm lucky enough to not feel in danger by the police, but uh then they said, Hey Misha. Oh then I started to feel a little weirded out. Hello, Eepers.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Welcome to another episode of Extra English Podcast with Misha and Larissa. We're two Canadian English teachers talking about life in Canada, our lives, and anything else that might interest us. And hopefully will interest you too. So join us for another conversation.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

This episode, we're going to talk about growing up in small towns, like we both did.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

How would you define small town?

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Like a number?

SPEAKER_00 0:52

A number, a feel, um amenities.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Oh, I would define it by number of Tim Hortons.

unknown 1:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

A small town has one.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Or zero. We had zero for most of my childhood. Which if you don't know, Tim Hortons is a very popular formerly Canadian uh coffee shop chain.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Yeah, especially in Ontario because it was started by the hockey player Tim Horton, who is from Hamilton. Yes. So the very first Tim Hortons is still in Hamilton and it has a bit of a museum vibe to it. And actually in Hamilton, Ontario, I think it hasn't the greatest number of Tim Hortons per capita for sure. But there's this saying like you can you can only ever go three blocks before you find another one or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

That's cute. Yeah. I didn't realize the one there is set up museum style-ish. Ish, yeah. I should check it out sometime. Anyways, the town I grew up in, we did not have a Tim Hortons. Okay. That's basically in Canada, you're off in Ontario at least, you're off the map. If you don't have a Tim Hortons, like that's small. And when I was in high school, we got a Tim Hortons and it was a big deal. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Okay, so in my small town, we got a McDonald's when I was in high school. Oh, we always had a McDonald's. That would be.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

Well, what about Tim Hortons' status?

SPEAKER_00 2:15

I believe there was one. I'm not a oh, of course there was. Oh yeah?

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Of course. Yes. I see. But not a McDonald's. That's interesting, actually.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Why did I doubt that? There was a Tim Hortons.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Well, it's such so ubiquitous. There's so many.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

And and the donut shop that I used to go to more often wasn't a Tim Hortons just because location. Dunkin' Donuts? No, it wasn't Duncan. It it had a like a 50s cafe vibe. Like the tile floor, the checkers, and what was it called? Oh, friends from my childhood. Can you remind me the name of that donut shop? You know it. They know it. Chime in.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

So that's how we define a small town coffee shop. Coffee shop slash McDonald's can be an extra factor. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

So um I grew up in a small town, rural, rural Ontario. Um, I would say I want to guess there were about 12,000 people as per the sign when you entered the town. That's what it said. Yeah. 12,000, which like it's enough. It's enough people, but it's not big. It's not huge. No. Yeah. And one of the things I liked about Small Town was that everything was accessible. And what I mean is you could walk easily, you could bike to the body.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

They're built for biking and walking, more so.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

No, not with things like bike lanes. No. Because they're not necessary.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

No, just little traffic.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Yeah. Quiet streets. Yeah, agreed.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah. And everybody kind of knew the same places. You would run into people all the time because you didn't have so many options. Right. And yeah, it was, I I think it's charming.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I think it's nice. I I enjoyed growing up in a small town. Also because you're you're uh right next to nature. Right. I mean, in in the city we have parks and but it's not the same. You know, when I was a kid in a five-minute bike ride, we could be in the forest. Oh we called it or the bush. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

So outside of town, for me, it was farms. I see. Ours was a lot of farms, but some yes. But when you see farms, that doesn't feel like you're in nature.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Agreed. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

It's very well, it's agricultural. Like it's cultivated. Cultivated, thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

That's true. But also don't I I don't know because I don't have a comparison experience, but there was a lot of freedom, which I think was partly the 80s. It was the time, yeah. Right? We would kind of go out in the morning and come home in the evening. Yeah. And our parents may or may not know where we were. Yeah. I also had an older brother, so he usually knew where I was. We, of course, didn't have cell phones. No. But I think a little bit of that was the familiarity with the small town. Like most places we went, someone knew us or we knew someone. There were a lot of adults around that we could have gone to for help, you know, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

And there's also this sense that most of the adults were safe. Whether or not they were, I felt like they were.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Did your small town have, and I don't know if it still exists, but neighborhood watch?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yes, my mom was a block parent.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Yes, a block parent. Oh my gosh, I haven't heard that term in so many years.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Explain it.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Well, you might do a better job, but my understanding as a kid, certain houses would have a sign in their window saying neighborhood watch or block parent. Yeah. And a block parent meant if you were in trouble, if something went wrong, you could go to that house. Children could go there. The sign was blue. Yes. And it had people on it. I think so. I think so.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Yeah. Yeah. You just knew I don't know how one became a block parent.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

I know. I'm so curious because you're telling children to go there.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Was there a vetting place? They must have had like an interview by an organization. They must have had a police check. It has to be something. And then yeah, like you just look for the block parent sign and then you go. So we don't have that now. No. And when my daughter started riding her bike around the neighborhood by herself, we had to talk about what do you do if you're in trouble? Well, I just come home. She says, Yeah. Okay, but what if you can't come home? Yes. Like what if what if you fall off your bike and you hurt yourself and you can't make it home? How do you know what a safe house is? Yeah. What do you think you would say?

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Oh gosh, I don't know. I mean, I feel like no house that I don't know is safe. I don't know. I mean, a public place like a coffee shop, something like this. What did what did you tell her?

SPEAKER_00 6:50

I said, okay, usually you're close enough to someone that we know because she's biking around the neighborhood. So if you can get to this friend's house or that friend's house, that's the first, the first goal. If that's not possible, this is not a guarantee, but look for signs of elderly people or children.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

I think those are safer.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

So if you see like if it looks like there's lots of kids, yeah. There's kids a bike in the front yard or whatever, try that one first. You never know, but I mean we need some kind of strategy.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Yeah. I do often think if something, if my son, he's not old enough to be on his own yet, but when he is, we live in a building full of grandparents. Yes. Which is nice. I live in a relatively small condo building, and everyone in this building I trust, which is a really nice, yeah, a nice feeling. So I feel like he'll have some watch watching eyes, you know? But that's a good idea, a good thing. Small town vibes in the city.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Yeah. So I actually wonder, because I've never really lived in a big city, but when you're in a big city, do you just kind of treat your part of the city as a small town? Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

I mean, I don't we could talk about living in a big city sometime, but I I feel like it's not quite the same because there is just more people coming and going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

But maybe sometimes you stumble, you're lucky enough to stumble on a neighborhood that has a real Yeah, like if it's a city that kind of was built by smaller towns that amalgamated and then kind of they got built together. I wonder if there's still a neighborhood feeling, which feels more like a small.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

I don't know. Or a group of neighbors who've really made an effort. Yeah. There's even a neighborhood around here. I'm part of the WhatsApp group for parents. And they they really make quite a neighborhood vibe because there's lots of um interaction, events, collaboration on different things.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

And they've intentionally done that. Yes. And I think they've also used like public money, right? They've they've gotten grants to come kind of support building that that camaraderie, that like neighborhood community feeling. Yeah. Which is a great way to spend public money.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

I think that's a great, totally. Anything that leads to kids being safer. Uh-huh. I think most people can agree that's right. Yeah. People could argue that one, I think, a little more.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

But I agree. We think it's important that you know people that you like. Government of extra English practice.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Vote for us.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Okay. I have a kind of it would only happen in a small town story.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Those are good stories.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Uh, when I was a teenager, I I can't quite remember. I might have been a teenager or a young adult home for the summer. Uh, I had stayed at my friend's house late, probably 11 or 12, and I was walking home. And we had left, I had left my friend's house with another friend, and we walked part of the way home together and then we split up.

unknown 9:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

So then I'm walking home and it's late. So I like, I'm being a little cautious. It's dark, obviously. Um, and I'm walking and a police car pulls up next to me. And I'm a little like, I mean, I don't feel in danger because I'm lucky enough to not feel in danger by the police. But uh then they said, Hey, Misha. Oh, and then I started to feel a little weirded out. And I was like, Yeah. And I don't recognize either of them. And they're both like men, and I'm a young woman by myself. And they're like, What are you doing? And I said, Well, I'm just walking home. And at this point, I'm starting to get a little uncomfortable. And then they said, Oh, and I said, How did you know my name? And they said, Well, actually, we just stopped your friend.

unknown 10:35

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

So my friend who I had split off from, they must have, I'm sure they were just bored. Yeah. Because there's nothing to do in a small town. Yeah, they were being funny. I think they thought they were being funny. Yeah, but they were not. I don't think they thought through how that might make me feel. So they had asked her, Who's your friend or who are you walking with? Because they saw us walking together and then saw us split up. Anyway, that kind of thing doesn't happen in the city. Not that, I mean, far scarier things can happen in anywhere. But that was a weird small town. That is like go find your entertainment elsewhere.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

That is odd.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

It was weird.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

Okay, so one day in my small town, uh, I think it was the first day of school. We had just moved to this town.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Okay, you were little.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

I was little, I was grade four. Yeah. First day of school. So my sister and I, we walked to school and then we were supposed to come home for lunch. So I did. I walked home for lunch. It was at the end of the day, maybe one or the other. I can't remember. But my sister was in grade two, and so she was waiting to be picked up by my dad. Um, my mom was actually in the hospital having a baby. Oh we were we were getting another to come. I know. It was very exciting. Yeah. Um, so she couldn't pick us up, and dad was at work, but he was gonna take the time and he was running late for whatever reason. Okay. So I get home, I just sit on the like I can't get into the house.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

And I'm just sitting there, like, huh, wonder what I'm gonna do now. Not realizing, I wonder what my sister's doing. Yeah. Didn't think that far.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

You were a kid, you were a little. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

I was I was acting in thinking in age-appropriate ways. Next thing I know, here comes a car around the corner, pulls into the driveway. It's my principal, the principal of our new school with my sister. Oh, he drove her home and then he saw me, and he was like, Oh, I guess your dad's not here. So then he took us both to a mutual, like a friend that he knew. That you knew. My parents also knew, I guess, um, to their house. It was for lunch. But my dad saw us along the way because he was just running late. He hadn't forgotten us. He just was just running late. Of course not. So then he followed the principal's car to the house. And we ended up just going to our house for lunch. We didn't get to have a picnic over there. But yeah, like in a city, no principal. And it's a different time too. It's a different time. Even there, even a principal wouldn't. No, no, no. You'd get sued. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

But it was it was acceptable at the time. And that's interesting. There's some pluses and minuses to that, right? Because I think in some ways it's a really nice idea that children could trust adults. Yeah. But then also I think the danger is that some of those adults aren't going to be trustworthy. They're not trustworthy always. Yeah. So we interesting. And you do wonder how much of that was that we were both in small towns. Yep. And how much of it was the 80s.

unknown 13:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Yeah. I don't know. So freer time in some ways. Yeah, it was interesting. Feels wild now. Yeah. Also, I just worry that I'll forget my son one day at school. He's starting school soon. I mean, why would I? I've never forgotten to pick him up. I know, but wouldn't that be the worst thing? And if you did, the school would call you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

And then you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

And they would hold on to him.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

But they also have emergency numbers. Like they have it's not just you. There is a whole protocol in place.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Good.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

I would hope so. I just hate that thought. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

You're not going to, you're not going to forget him. Good. But if if you do, I'll get him.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Someone will.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

I'm putting you on the list. Put me on the list. Yeah. So you mentioned pros and cons. And I think one of the negative things about living in a small town is that people always leave.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Like if I want to find that the the kids I went to high school with, the kids I graduated with, they're adults now, and we don't live in the same place. No. Like if it wasn't for the social media, I would have lost contact with most of them.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

I think sometimes when you grow up in a city, you stay in that city. But the opportunities are, I mean, less abundant in a small town.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

If you grow up in a small town, most people, I think, by the time they hit 18 are dying to get out. It's true. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like you've you've done it. It's fun when you're a kid. Now you want to go to the club, meet some new people, go shopping, all of which are things you can't do in a small town.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

And like to support that point, there are four children in my family, and we all left our small town the moment we graduated.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

It's common pattern. But you're right. It means then you kind of lose touch in ways you might not if you had grown up in a bigger place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

But if your family stays there, then you still have a place to go back to, which is really nice. That is nice. My family moves, so I don't have that same uh sense of home there. But when when you do, it is nice. It's yeah, it's really it's lovely.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Yeah. Another obvious negative is that there's less multiculturalism in small places. It's true. Yeah. Maybe that's changing a little bit. Maybe. But I think when I was growing up, certainly in my small town, most people came from a similar ethnic and cultural background to me. Even more specifically, if you listen to our first episode.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Mennonite.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Yeah. My background is Mennonite. I wouldn't say like most, but a half at least of the kids I went to high school with probably had the same exact cultural background. Yeah. Which that also has its, you know, you have some shared history that can be nice. Yeah. But I think one of the big benefits of Canada in general is that multiculturalism. Yeah. And that's less, lesser in small towns.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Yeah. And it must be hard to be the one. Absolutely. Like we had an Asian family in the town. We had an Indian family in the town. And that's that's gotta be that's a lot of pressure. A lot of pressure.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Yeah, and then you everyone else has that shared history and you're out. Yeah, that wouldn't feel nice, I don't think. Yeah. Anyway, who knows what it's like? I think the town I grew up in is now much more multicultural, is also bigger.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

And things go. And as the price of housing has increased significantly, especially in cities, it's also increased in towns, but some people move to towns to try to try to survive.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Try to find a home they can buy. Yeah. Which does, I mean, that in some ways has benefits. Yeah. Increasing that diversity.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

So we're curious, Embers. Um, did you grow up in a small town or a big city? And what did you like about it? What were what were the pros and the cons of the way you grew up?

SPEAKER_01 17:32

To let us know or join the conversation, you can check out our Instagram, our Facebook, or YouTube.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

And if you've got an extra minute, would you mind leaving a review? It really helps us.