19. The Applause Identity: How High Achieving Women Can Stop Living for Approval with Farrah Khimji

Many high achieving women spend years building impressive lives without realizing they're building them for someone else.

In this episode, Robina is joined by business strategist, keynote speaker, and founder of The Wellth Experience, Farrah Khimji, for a conversation about what she calls the "applause identity." They discuss how women can unknowingly build their lives around external validation, chasing recognition, achievement, and acceptance while becoming disconnected from who they truly are.

Farrah shares the pivotal life experience that challenged the identity she had built around performance and success, leading her to redefine what it means to live and lead authentically. Together, she and Robina explore why external validation shapes our decisions, relationships, and careers, and how learning to trust yourself instead of chasing applause creates greater freedom, confidence, and fulfillment.

In this episode, they share:

• What the "applause identity" is and why so many high achieving women experience it

• How external validation shapes your decisions and sense of self

• Why achievement alone will never create lasting fulfillment

• The difference between performing for approval and leading with authenticity

• How self trust creates a more sustainable and meaningful definition of success

Connect with Farrah:

• Instagram: @farrahkhimji | @thewellthexperience

• LinkedIn: @farrah-khimji

• Website: thewellthexperience.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:31

I am so excited to introduce you to this guest today. We have Farah Kemji, and she is somebody who I met by chance at a content day. But it's funny how you meet people and you stay connected and you notice that there is something very interesting about that person that you can't really let go of. And I want to just share a little bit of her story. Farah is a business strategist, a keynote speaker, and the founder of The Wealth Experience, a platform designed to help high-achieving women step out of externally defined success and build businesses rooted in who they truly are. With nearly two decades of experience across private equity, venture capital, and commercial real estate and credentials, including a CPA, an MBA, and a specialization in strategy from Harvard, Fara combines deep financial and strategic expertise with a nuanced understanding of identity, ambition, and reinvention. Eight years ago, a pivotal chapter forced her to confront her identity that she built around achievement, performance, and recognition. It led her to reimagine success through a different lens, one not rooted in external validation, but in authority, truth, and meaningful contribution. Today, Farah works with founders, executives, and entrepreneurs to build businesses shaped by their voice and lived experience, businesses that are differentiated, profitable, and fully their own. Through her private advisory, mastermind experiences, and speaking, she challenges the traditional narratives of success and invites her clients into new paradigms of ownership and self-trust. Farah is known for her bold, perspective-shifting approach and her ability to articulate what many high performers feel but would never put into words. Her work sits at the intersection of identity and business, helping women stop performing in life they were trained to want and start building the one that they actually do. That is amazing, first of all. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Wow. What an intro. And I just want to say when we met, we actually met in the parking lot. If you remember, the vibe right away, you know, when you're just like, oh, this is gonna be my person. I'm gonna I'm gonna sync up with her throughout the day. And we did, and it was beautiful. And even though we haven't seen each other since then, I've been watching your journey and just like even seeing this podcast come to life. It's honestly truly an honor to be here with you today.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Oh, well, I thank you for sharing what you're about to share with us, but also to just being such a pillar of light for women. I think that women really need this. And when I read your bio at the beginning, I was like, wow, this is what we need. These are the kind of women that we need to be leaders to help us see the way. So I would love you to share a little bit of your backstory and where you were.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

My backstory for me to really share how I got here, I need to go way back. And I need to go back to when my parents actually immigrated from Kenya to Canada in the late 1970s. Our ancestry is from India, but both of them were born in East Africa and they came here with not a lot. I remember my mom sharing with me that she was actually gifted pots and pans from someone in our community. So you hear those stories, you know, it just reminds you of like where you came from. And so my parents really established themselves in Canada, and the pillar that they really focused on was education. You know, my dad's an engineer, my mom's a pteropodist, a foot doctor. They really instilled in my sister and I that education was the pathway to a good, successful, stable life. And we were very much rewarded for that, you know, getting good grades. I remember my father saying, if I brought home 99 on a math test, it was like, where's the 1%? Like that was real. He would even check if there was like bonus marks and had I missed the bonus marks, and that's why I got 99, which means I got three questions wrong. That's how it was. I quickly learned from a young age what it meant to show up in a way that would be approved, that would be respected, that would be supported within the family unit. So that led me down the path of going into business school. Now, interestingly enough, even going to business school was a bit of a rebellion because I wasn't taking the science and math route in my family. And so that was my mini rebellion. But then within business school, I still carved out a very kind of respectable path when I was really more interested in like the marketing, even the entrepreneurship classes, like kind of the more fun creative classes. I was like, well, I may not get a job with that. So then I focused on the CPA route and became a accountant. And I was, you know, good with numbers, but it was just like, okay, well, this will be if I went into business, but at least I'm coming out with a professional designation that people will respect. So that was sort of the path. Came out of school right away, was hired while I was still in my last year of university to start at PwC, which, you know, back in the day, that would be a very, I mean, even now, maybe still a very coveted position to have. And I climbed the corporate ladder pretty quickly. Like I started, you know, at 23 and by 35, I was that CPA, then went into industry working in private equity and commercial real estate. And I, you know, had this corner office by the end of all of that, eight years ago, on my track to partnership within a firm. Okay. Multiple degree frames on the wall. I'd done my MBA during that time. I remember being like in this life at the time I was married, and I felt like, you know, I checked all the boxes. I did. I got married. I had the degrees, I had the corner office, I had the good job, all of it. I remember dragging my feet to work in that life that looked so perfect on the outside, feeling completely unfulfilled on the inside while simultaneously daydreaming of what I could be doing instead. Now, what happened though is that I didn't get a chance to just daydream and go out and start something on the side and leave and start this business. No, I had a year, a very monumental year, where it started with me getting divorced, selling my, you know, seven-figure dream home, and then getting fired all within the span of a year. Wow. And I was there at age 36, you know, this is now eight years ago, and just sitting there being like, okay. It was a little bit crazy on the day that I got fired. You would think I would just be devastated. And I wasn't. I remember it very clearly, you know, it was let go in the morning, and I'm standing on the corner of King University at 11 a.m. just feeling free. Wow. Really, really free. And realizing I had built this whole life to appease everyone else. Yeah. That approval that I talked about, that achievement, that approval. And when it was all gone, it was like the most liberating thing.

unknown 8:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

That's really where my journey starts. And we can dig into that.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

But I thought it was important to sort of share that. Yeah, that's so good. Because really, the first thing that I thought of, first of all, we have very similar backgrounds because my father is West Indian. And I always say the reason why I've always been an overachiever is because of that 3%, 2%, 1%. Like, where is that? I joke with him now, and he doesn't really realize how impactful that was. And it really sets the stage, you know. But one of the things that you kind of talked about was you checked all the boxes. And with our cultures, it's very much about, yeah, we do the things, like we get the education, we get the degree, we get the marriage, we get the home, we get the job. And I love that you pinpointed to the fact that you felt so unfulfilled. And it's really interesting to me how sometimes things happen for us. And that was the perspective that you really had because a lot of us have that mindset as, oh my gosh, like everything is gone from me. But for you, it was permission.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Absolutely. You know what it was? It felt like a blank canvas of the opportunity to rewrite my story. I remember being like, but I'm not going to rewrite it the same way. And I could have. The thing that most people will do when they get let go is they'll update their resume and their LinkedIn and start applying for jobs. And I could have easily gone back into a CPA route. I even had recruiters calling me all the time. And I just said, I was already miserable in those four walls, dragging my feet to work. Like, do I really want to recreate that? And near the tail end of my marriage, I was not happy in that either. I didn't get the opportunity to choose all of these things, but they all happened in a span of a year. And I think this is a sign. Like it felt like a second chance to redo it, but I was like, I'm going to do it on my own.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

You're going to do it my way. And I love that because that's like the segue into the next part of you. But one of the things that I really want to say to you is that is such a true testament of who you are as an individual. We've been performing for so many people for so long. And we're trying to be appeasing to our parents, to our spouses, to the people that are around us, our employers, and all the things. You know, you talk about that mini rebellion, but this is really a true testament to you being so authentic to who you are and recognizing that, yeah, there was a disconnect with all of those things. And I tried that route and it didn't work.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

You know what's interesting is because I know how much of that was part of my story. And even into my entrepreneurship journey, it's not like all of a sudden that all just went away. There was still such a big need for me to still want to get approval, even though I was writing my life on my own terms and pursuing a path that felt more authentic. But within that, we still subconsciously are always seeking approval. And especially when we were raised in those environments, yeah, it doesn't just leave us. And so I spent some time to kind of coin a term that I've now come up with, which is what I call the applause identity. This identity that lives through the approval for the applause. When you're living for that way, you filter yourself through a lens of almost like this decision tree of will this be accepted? Will this be approved? And when you're making every decision from that point, you're living a very muted version of your life. And when you can decouple the need for applause, because the reality is when we are charting our own paths and our own course in life, it doesn't always come with applause. In fact, the applause often comes at the end when you're now on to your next evolution. Absolutely. When we're so attached to the need for that, we end up not living the life we want for ourselves because we're so afraid of what happens if people don't approve.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

So tell me how you kind of work through that, because I think there's a lot of people that have those subconscious programs and they're all about like, I need to be accepted, I need to be approved, I need to be validated, and all these things, the external validation, but they don't know how to work through it. How did you work through that?

SPEAKER_01 12:25

That day that I got let go, it was June 4th, 2019. And by July 3rd, I actually had my first company's name. I was incorporated, I had a website, and more importantly, I had my first paying client. In those 29 days, I just was flooded with ideas that felt so expansive. And they were coming from a true place of like, what is the work that I want to put out in the world? And some of them were a bit delusional. Like I wanted to start my own private equity fund. And right out the gate, I actually called my first company Futura Funds. And I, you know, was like, I'm gonna launch this thing. And people were like, well, you need some deal flow. And that's how I ended up sort of in the path that I'm in now. But the feeling that I had in that month where I felt very free to just create, and I had a little pocket of time. I was given a package. So no one was really like on me financially. Just had this window to sit and say, what would I create from just a place of true desire? That feeling, even though I didn't build it all, the feeling was something I could not unfeel or unsee. Yeah. It is something that I've now worked very hard to make sure other women have a pathway to that feeling. I didn't even know that was available to me. Like I did not have a business plan or business ideas before that. It just flooded out of me. It's within all of us when we give ourselves the space, the permission, the right container, the right people around us. Like I had started going to all of these like startup events in 2019. We did not have all these female entrepreneurship events like we do now, but there was some. And I started putting myself into those rooms and just seeing people doing big things. Once you've had a little taste of a feeling that feels so different than anything you've ever experienced, I just kept saying, How do I keep that feeling?

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Wow, you're like opening up such a good topic here because it's all about, you know, and I think this is like the third podcast that I've talked about. This Neville Goddard says the feeling is the secret, and that's how we really attract the things to us. It's one of the things, even when I worked as a mindset coach that I realize and recognize is that so many women don't give themselves permission to feel the feeling of desire because they have been taught to be realistic. And I always say to people, like, we're taught to think with our heads over our heart, and you're teaching people how to tap into their heart. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Like I think we have shame almost around wanting the things that we want. And a lot of that is how we were raised, right? Like I love my parents, and they I don't like to always use the word sacrifice. Like I do use it. They sacrificed a lot for me to have the life that I have. But those were also the choices that they and sometimes we feel like we see this example of how they lived. They lived a hard life, they didn't go on tons of vacations, they didn't buy extravagant things, they didn't invest in themselves, they didn't do therapy, they didn't do all these things. So when we want even just a little bit of that, we feel bad for wanting it because they didn't get to have it. But they also did all of that so we could. Sometimes when I'm feeling like, oh, I'm doing all this stuff for myself, I'm like, but all that stuff your parents did, wasn't it so that you could be here and do that for yourself too? Like, absolutely. And their parents probably felt some type of way about, you know, their lives, right? And this is just what it is. We're always evolving and growing. And so now when I help people, you'd be surprised when you ask someone, what do you really want? Oh, I know. It takes me about five times of asking it till they give me the real answer. This one is like polished and sounds pretty like, yeah, that makes sense. Like I you get realistic, very realistic. Like, okay, let's go a little bit bigger. What about this? And then when you get to the answer of what they really want, it's often very different than their first absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

I love that because I actually think that the piece about permission is so big, especially with women. The piece with choosing yourself, you know, I was just listening to some of Emigree, she was talking a little bit about choosing yourself first and how so many women are having this backlash. But I really believe that if you choose yourself first, and meaning if you could have anything and there were no restrictions, what would that desire be? And so many women, they stop themselves from dreaming. And that's exactly what you're trying to get them to do. Like, let's tap into that desire, let's tap into that feeling and let's create from there. And I think that more women need to learn to do that. And it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

And when you do create from there, you're gonna be such a more magnetic version of yourself that will serve everyone around you better. Because you think you're being selfish for wanting that. I actually like to reframe it, you're selfish for not pursuing the highest version of yourself because then everyone else misses out on that version, right? Like if I was still pushing numbers behind a spreadsheet, clocking in at a private equity fund, making old white men richer versus helping women and women of color expand and start their first businesses, like what a waste of a life that would have been. Not a waste, like it would have been a fine, but I feel that would not have been my highest purpose. You wouldn't have been in your potential. Yeah. And I know that is true for a lot of people. And when you see someone living in their full potential, it's like you can't unsee that either. You're like, whoa, they have a light around them. They're going, they're doing the work they're meant to be doing. That's available to all of us. There's nothing different about me or anyone else for accessing that life.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

I want to just backtrack a second to just help the listeners understand a little bit of what it felt like for you to be feeling like you were depleted, feeling like you were disconnected from your marriage, from your job, from all the things, even though you checked all the boxes. Help them identify what that looked like for you.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

When I was in it, I don't know that I like could like now we can always look back and say, oh wow. When I was in it, like it showed up in my body. I suffered with back issues for 10 years. I had a discarnation in 2013. And only in the last couple of years has that kind of just gone away. Gone away. Of course. You know, not there, but that was one. I was overweight, constantly like yo-yoing with my weight and things like that. I was very disconnected from myself. That is what I will say. I did not hear my own voice at all. And the voice that would run through my head would be others, it would be family members, it would be, you know, society, even like whatever that means. Now that I can hear my own voice so clearly all the time, I realize looking back, I didn't even have a sense of self within that life. And I think it's because it wasn't a self-authored life. And so now when you're building from a place of like I'm designing my life, you inherently get way more connected to yourself. So I've heard this saying, and I don't know who first said it. You know, a lot of different entrepreneurs talk about it, but the process of building a business is just a self-development journey masqueraded as a financial opportunity. When you really have to meet yourself and say, I'm gonna create something and birth something and put that into the world, it really requires you to go very inward. And so I can tell you about what that time felt like because I can now see the contrast of it. The difference is feeling very alive in my body, very connected. When something is off, I can usually tell what it is pretty quickly now. And that didn't just happen like as soon as I quit my day job or got fired. Right? Like that didn't happen when I got let go. Yeah. It has been an eight-year journey and will continue for however long, you know, forever. But the most potent part of that journey has actually just been in the last couple of years for me. Okay, let's dig into that. Yeah. When I started my business, I was still very much, yes, I was building from a place of desire and definitely from a place of authenticity, but still bringing a version that would be liked and approved. What I realized was it wasn't allowing me to bring my fullest expression. One of the ways I realized it though, first was in my body. So I was overweight. I was over 200 pounds, and I was just like, okay, this is my back issues. This is why I can't work out. I had like every excuse in the world for you know why that was that I couldn't do certain things. And then I held an event where I was on camera on the vent and I saw the video back and I looked back and I was just like, ooh, I don't like what I see. And I knew in that moment, this is two years ago, if I don't do something about my health, I'm not gonna want to put myself on camera again. And it's not about the camera, but it's the stage and the impact I'm trying to create with my business. I would constantly have a muted version of me and not being visible, which visibility is required for the type of business that I'm building. And so I said to myself, okay, everything you've tried. Up until this point wasn't working. And it was because it was trying to have a quick fix, like this diet, that diet, this workout plan for two weeks. And I said, What if you just started doing things that you would want to do and be able to do always and not have it just be like I'm doing this for a week? Honestly, I started just with walking. I was like, walking is something that doesn't aggravate your back. Why don't you just start walking every day? And I gave myself a commitment. This was actually just literally two years ago. It was July of 2024. And I walked every day for a year. I missed a couple in there, but even through the dead of winter, without ever hitting a gym, just walking, and I changed one or two other habits, nothing major, I released 40 pounds. Because the walking also became that was like a meditative practice for me. I was walking at like 5:30 a.m. is when I would get up and I lived by the water. And so I was walking by the water. I would listen to a podcast or just my own thoughts and all my best ideas would come. But it was also the consistency of the practice of doing something to show up for myself in a way that I eventually became addicted to the feeling of it. It wasn't about the weight loss. I wasn't walking to lose weight. I was just walking to start my journey of trying to get healthy again. And then it came off very easily. That was the surprising thing. And people saw that journey and they're like, what did you do? But it came off easily in the sense of it was 40 pounds over, and it's now 55, but it was 40 pounds over a span of a year. So some people thought, oh, it came off quickly. I'm like, no, that's like less than a pound a week, right? Like it's just consistency. So that was one of the practices that I started to kind of just say, what is something, instead of saying, like, we're gonna think about our health in ways of like losing weight or this or that. I think really the real difference was the walking and the I now do other things for my health journey was connected to the purpose. That's where it was very different because I knew the mission that I had with that event really kind of blew things up for me. And I knew I wouldn't give it my all if I wasn't able to show up as my highest version. And it wasn't about the weight, it was also about the energy. It was also about all the things I needed that energy to build. And so now that me getting healthy was connected to something bigger than just vanity metrics, yeah, it became easy for me to show up for myself in that way. Oh, I can dig into this.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

So there's so many things, right? First of all, the fact that you took the pressure off of yourself and just was like, listen, I'm gonna do this just to start feeling good. You got addicted to the feeling. For me, that's like it wasn't about a goal per se. It was about the vision. And you showed up as her, that woman, that's what kept that dedication going. And we live in Toronto, so we know what the weather's like. It's like horrible sometimes. So congratulations on that. But the other thing that really shows up for me is that you're regulating your nervous system as you are doing that because you're literally like, I need to go into recuperation, restoration. You talk about being by the water and all those things. Taking the pressure off of yourself is such a huge thing because we're not attaching it to a stressful event. We're not looking at it like all the failures, the failures I have in air quotations that didn't work with that diet, with this thing. You know, you didn't see yourself as the person you were presently. You were working as that person that you saw yourself building these events and impacting these women. And I think that that is so powerful because that's what it takes.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

I feel like sometimes we think that the process of getting to the life that we want has to be punishing. The reality is, I had someone say to me, like, Well, well, how would you show up when you're making $10 million and your events are this? And who would that version of Farah be? And I was like, Oh, well, she'd probably be someone who works out every day and walks every day and eats healthy and does this and is consistent with these things. Guess what? All of those things are accessible for you today. The way a $10 million life would live and this life is often not that different for many of us in terms of how our daily practices would be. And so that was one kind of like aha moment. I was like, I can actually access that now. I can prep my meals. Maybe it's not the private chef yet, but it's whatever, right? I can cook healthy stuff for me, but I can also choose things within that that I would actually enjoy. That's why I started with walking. Even now, people are like, oh, you should do yoga for your back. I don't like yoga. I do lifting classes now. Like, you don't have to pick an activity, honestly, just downward dog. I'm like, I cannot hold this position. I do not like it.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

You know what I mean? Like it's just not. There's so many things to choose from. Like, just choose it.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

And so I think we think we have to choose the ones that are really punishing. And so even now, the way that I eat, like I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, but I pick the ones I love. Like I eat the pineapple and the mango, like I get the fun fruits that I love. And so, yes, I know they're high sugar, but whatever, it's still fruit. Like, you don't have to make this punishing. And so then I started layering on stuff. Like I added the weighted best. I started layering, but very slowly because the walking just became like I didn't even have to think. I would get up and walk. And now I thought, but within it, even the way that like now I live a very healthy lifestyle, very stark contrast to how I used to show up for myself. But none of any of it is punishing. You know, I make a green juice every day, but I love the ingredients, but I put it in a beautiful wine glass. Like I make everything a ritual. I have a seven-step skincare routine, but I make it a ritual that I look forward to. And I think sometimes we think it's like you have to be disciplined. Instead of discipline, I like the word devotion. I'm devoted to the life that I want. Yeah, you're romanticizing. My father was so disciplined with us. This is like devotion feels so much more expansive and so much more nurturing.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

Yeah, right. And I feel like we need more of that. Something that also came up for me as you were talking was the judgment was gone. And that's the thing that a lot of us do is we judge. We are inundated with so much information about like, especially with health and wellness and what we should do and what we shouldn't do, and how we should do, and how much protein we should get, and what kind of weight training, like it's a lot. And so just thinking about that is really harmful for people. But I love that you took the shame and the judgment out of it and you just did it. Like you just didn't focus on all the things, you just showed up as her. And I love that.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Like, even now in the lifting classes that I do, I'm a little bit older than most of the people in the class. Although there is a woman in her 70s, and like that really inspires me. But it's very easy to look around and be like, oh, she's lifting 25 pound weights, and I'm still at 15, right? I don't do that. I'm like, I'm here. It's me against me here. Yeah, I love that. Right? And it's not even against it's like my own evolution and growth. And it's so easy, especially nowadays, to look left and right and see what everyone else is doing. And you know, social media just keeps pushing us all the highlight reels of everybody. And, you know, you've got to carve out your own highlight reel, whether you post it or not. So create those own moments where you're proud of yourself for what you did that day, rather than saying, oh, well, I didn't do as much as that person. Yeah. The judgment piece, it's so easy. I'm not gonna say that I don't have completely released that, but I do actively work on saying, just show up in a way that you can be proud of for you. Your journey is different than those around you. When we work in the worlds that we work in, we're constantly seeing the feeds of all of these incredible women doing things. And it's so easy to be like, I'm not there yet. But I always say, like, you're looking sometimes at someone's day 1000. Yeah. Yeah. One, right? Just keep going.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

And I love that I recognize even the work that I do is like very different. And so I can't really compare what I do to other people and you as well. Like, I mean, the work you do is very different. And so we have to really honor what we're building and recognize that listen, I didn't want to take the same path as everyone else. And that's gonna come with a bit of a climb. We know that with any kind of marathon, you have to rest, you have to take care of yourself and you have to sometimes reevaluate things.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

What I will say, even with your journey, like when I met you, I remember I was asking you questions, trying to almost fit you into a box that I could understand who you are and what you do. And I was like, is it this? Is it that? And you're like, no, it's this. It's like no box. Kind of sat back and I listened to what you did. I was like, oh, this is really amazing. This is really different. You have this education, this, and you have this diagnostic tools and all these different things that you have as part of your practice. And I was like, oh, and it made me realize, A, you know, I'm sorry if you felt like I was boxing you in or anything. Just like, are we do that? But people do it with me too. And I'm like, the beauty is in not being boxed in. And that is what makes you magnetic, makes you one of one, makes you a category of one, and why people would want to work with you, because there is no other, in my scenario, no other business coach like me who does it the way that I do it. And I think sometimes we're looking left and right, thinking, I don't have that yet, but you're not always looking at what's right in front of you. Yeah. Which is your unique gifts and talents that the world maybe you will package in a way that's never been packaged that way. Instead of like, I hate it when people sign up for courses that are like make 10K in a hundred days. And coaches teach you a method of how to essentially get the same success that they had in their way, and just follow this blueprint and you'll get it too. I don't coach like that because I already know my blueprint is not going to be the same as your blueprint. The beauty is in that that you have your own blueprint. Don't follow mine. I have a methodology, but within that, there's like you know, space, right?

SPEAKER_00 33:51

So yeah. There's that customization. So tell me a little bit about what you're providing now and how it's changed after all of that.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

My very first business actually was helping early stage tech founders to raise capital. Then I was working with mostly female entrepreneurs. In that process, I loved working most closely with the founders and like, you know, we'd work on their pitches and their positioning and creating new revenue streams, all sorts of things. But a big part of my role was also very investor-facing. I realized within that, I'm like, no, I just actually want to work with the founders. I don't really want to talk to these investors. As I was doing that, though, I was still very much in this kind of tech founder world. And then someone from my corporate days actually asked me, Bara, like, you left corporate, you're doing like a whole new life, and I had a podcast at the time and all these things. They're like, what's going on? Right. This is like 2020 and back then. It wasn't what's going on. They actually said, can you help me do this? And this was a woman who was 20 years my senior, and she just said, like, I want you to be my coach. And I was like, okay, coach. But and there was no Chat GPT back then. And I sat and did a whole package on what this coaching program would be. And I remember thinking to myself, I'm like, I could just coach her, like for free, right? Like this is me just being like, I would love to coach her. I really respect her. You know, we got along. And then I just said, no, okay, like let me treat this. If I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna treat this like a business and put a number on it that felt very stretchy. And then she said yes and paid in full, like the same day. And I was just like, okay, so this woman's gonna pay me something like substantial for something I would have done for free. So then my whole business transitioned to that. I find that when I come onto a coaching call, I feel the most energized. I leave there, never feeling depleted, always excited. And that's when I was like, okay, this is what I meant to be. Yeah. If your work is draining you, I know sometimes, yes, there's days that are hard that I have as well, but I don't feel as bad about those days because it's like for me versus for someone else. But the difference being is I know which parts of my work give me the most energy and I focus on doing more of that. And I think sometimes we think the work is draining us or we're just burnt out, or it's all these other things without stopping to think about what about the very work you're doing being the contributing factor to why you don't feel. We do all of these other things to try to fix the problem, eat healthy, do this. When it's like, what about actually just finding work or creating work for yourself that would really light you up? You would be less stressed. And that's really, you know, where the wealth experience was born. So wealth is spelt W-E-L-L-T H. And it really is this idea of like, it's not just about how much money you make, but the experience of how you make it, how you build that wealth. Obviously, I shared a bit of my health journey, but I realized they go so hand in hand. My income has been directly proportional. Like if my weight went this way, my income went this way at the same time. Wow. You can't unsee that. That I don't decouple those two parts of my when I'm working with people. Yes, I'm very much a business coach. And we are working on building a business that is sustainable, that can grow, that's scalable without just constantly trading time for money. Because then where's the end game? So I have create in what I call in sort of transactional-based offers, where you're just trading time for money to transformational-based offers as scalable and passive offers. And you don't really have a business in my mind, if you stop working for a day and it doesn't still make you money. You've actually just recreated your corporate job in a new package. People talk about nervous system regulation. Is your business model regulated? Well, that's what I teach people too. Same thing. It is so true. People go do somatics and do all these things. Great. They also have place. But is the way you show up every day to make your money and live your life actually just regulated in and of itself?

SPEAKER_00 38:25

Yeah. That's the key, is that so many people think they're very separate, but they're very much in and of the same. Meaning you got to treat your business the way you treat your life and vice versa and take care of your health, but also you got to audit it. You got to audit your business, see where there's energetic leaks, see where things that feel too heavy, things that they maybe bring in money, but they don't light you up. And so where's the trade-off there? And I think that's exactly what you're talking about is we can create these types of businesses that are in alignment with what you want, that desire. But at the same time, just like you said, as your weight came off, your income went up. Why is that? Because the way that you saw yourself changed. And so we do know that our business and our results are a direct correlation to how we see ourselves, not physically and not out loud and not on Instagram, but that real inner voice, that subconscious program.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

It wasn't just only about how I saw myself, but they say the way you do one thing is how you do everything. The way that I was showing up, the consistency of that extrapolated. I was also, that was also a period of time where I was posting on LinkedIn every day, right? There was a direct correlation to the habit. And this is the thing, we're so obsessed with where we end up, but it's a process. You have to fall in love with the process of it too. And so I was showing up differently for my body, which meant I was showing up differently in my business, hence getting results on both sides. You're so correlated. Like when you are seeing an income dip, what's going on in your health? There's probably a direct correlation there. I'm not a health expert. That's where you know you really shine and you know your stuff, but it doesn't take a genius to be able to like see that. But I will say a lot of people don't see it that way, right? They're not seeing how closely linked the two really are.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

Well, I believe that's because so many people are very disconnected from their bodies. We've been taught to think with our brain and come out of body. I do think that there is such a beautiful knowledge and a beautiful intelligence that we get. So even for you, when you were saying like you're going for these walks, why are you getting the downloads? Why are you getting the best ideas? Why, like because you're coming back to yourself. And I feel like that's just something that people need to have permission to do is like it's okay to take the brakes off and feed yourself and watch how your car accelerates after.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

You know, even though I was doing those walks at like 5:30, 6 a.m., that's just because the Toronto waterfront's busy. So I would like to get out before everyone did. And it was amazing because the part of the water I live on, I basically some days would have the whole waterfront to myself in in the city of Toronto. That's incredible. But I wasn't getting up early because then I had to like my first coaching call was at nine. I don't take coaching calls till 11. I actually give myself like five hours in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

From like 5:36 till 11 for me, which then means by 11, I am so ready, energized, fulfilled to pour into others. I only have a maximum of three coaching calls a day, Tuesday to Thursday. Monday and Fridays are like days for me and creation. Well, Fridays are like my play day, like that's when I have lunch dates and business dates and whatever as well. Mostly business. All my friends and I are like all in business, right? So it's like both. And then Mondays are where I create. Those are my kind of creative days where I work on the business, not in the business. Like even Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, it's not like back-to-back calls. It's like 1113. That's it. You know, very rarely will I do calls outside of that time. And that's what I mean also by the regulated business model. Yeah, I love that. And so that's why I work with people when they're like, oh, okay, I'm gonna charge this. I'm like, well, you're gonna have to see this many people to make this number. Like, oh, let's break down. Is it reasonable that you could see that many in a day? And is that even the life that you want, right? Do we need to rethink your business model or how much you charge, or do we need something scalable? Like, these are all the decisions that it's not just about how much money you're gonna make today, but the process of making that money, let's design the business model for that now. Longevity. We're not just building the life we want for 65. We're building the life we want today and how we want to show up in it today. That at 65, you shouldn't even want to quit it. Right. And and your business will evolve and you, you know, like it's not to say you're gonna always work that business model. I actually think this is another area where so many of us, even though we build these businesses, we don't always evolve them at rates that we're meant to. Like, think about every business out there in the world. Like we look at Apple. Where was Apple when it first started to now? They literally evolve every year. They come up with the new version, refresh their look, they do all of this, but yet us as individuals are so afraid to allow ourselves to evolve, even if it doesn't make sense to everybody else. Think about how magnetic it is to watch someone who's constantly evolving. Like with the iPhone, we're just waiting. Yeah. Like, what's the new features coming out? Right. Like we get so excited every year. And it's kind of like a this mystery. And I kind of feel like that with some of the entrepreneurs I even watch who I'm like, oh my gosh, you just keep evolving. And even if I don't fully get it, it's like exciting to watch, you know?

SPEAKER_00 44:11

Yeah, I think reinvention is so good because you're literally like I always say to people, and I'm dating myself here, but most people, and we talked about subconscious programming a little bit and the conditioning that we had as children, but most people are still operating on that same software system. I mean, if that were the case, I'd be still at a Commodore 64, right? And like so many people are like, what is that? That's a very old computer.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

What happens when you you don't hit the yes, I want to upgrade button? After a while, the system does not go down, doesn't work. It doesn't work. Right now, I mean, we can't unsee what's happening in the world, especially in the world of AI. It is evolving at a rate that is insane. To me, that it's almost necessary for us to learn the skill of evolution as well. Not just saying, oh, you need to change every single day, but it is a skill set to allow yourself to show up as a different version, even in your business, to let your business model change, to let habits change, to let your gym routine change. I've gotten kind of comfortable in my gym routine. And now I'm like, a couple of my friends are doing high rocks, and they're like, should I challenge myself a little? Like, I never thought I was a high rocks person, but who said I wasn't? Mm-hmm. I didn't, right? Oh, maybe I'm gonna be a high rocks person now. I don't know. Well, we'll have to see. My friends are like waiting for me to do it with them.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

But it's really interesting. I feel like if we think about our parents and the evolution that we have since then, you know, you talked about your parents and all the things, and they had to work really hard and sacrifice all the things, but we've shifted because the environment we're in has shifted and it's constantly shifting. And so I think that that really is the key. It's like, you know, you have to be able to pivot. That's what this world is about. And you might be someone right now that's working in corporate and feeling like a very hard disconnect. And one of the reasons why I love that you were on here was that you are evidence. And I believe success leaves clues. People need to look for evidence and see somebody who has done it and say, well, if they did it, I can do it too. And that's the whole beauty of this whole podcast is for people to see that there are women, founders that have gone before us that have, you know, experienced all the contrasts, all the difficulties, had things that showed up in their body, and they're recognizing, hey, now that I look back, this, this, this, and this was a sign. And so maybe now I can actually shorten your journey of you getting there. And I think that that's what is so beautiful about sharing these types of stories.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

I feel like it is my almost mission to help people on that journey absolutely accelerate their timeline and pathway to it, but also give them the tools and the right questions to be asking themselves. There's a lot of people who will say, Well, I don't have a business idea. I think we sometimes need to think less about the business idea and more about who you want to serve, what matters to you, what values matter to you, what problems in the world you care about solving. And when you can just start connecting to those questions, what would fulfill me? What kinds of activities fulfill me? Who do I want to help? What am I good at? What comes naturally to me? All of these things, the intersection of that, somewhere in there is an idea. It doesn't have to be grand or loud. But you start with that seed and give yourself permission to pursue it. And when you're connected to that, right? Yes, we're always evolving, but the connection to how we want to show up and who we want to serve doesn't always change that much. Like my mission from the start was always I help people bring their big ideas and dreams to life. That is like my little purpose statement. How I do it may change. Maybe it was raising capital, maybe it's a podcast, maybe it's coaching, maybe it's my events. The house are gonna change. The delivery mechanism will change. But I don't really think that through line will change. Yeah. So I encourage people to a lot of your listeners, I know, are also fellow founders, and or if they're not, either way, it doesn't matter. That connection to why you start, like if you're a business owner to why you started what you started in the first place, when you stay connected to that always, it's such a grounding place to be to remind yourself when things get a little chaotic around you. Why am I here? Who am I meant to serve? What is my purpose in life? Purpose quite literally means the reason for which something was created. Why was I created? And it's such a hard thing. Sometimes, but it can be quite simple. And so those people who are in corporate, I would say just start there even. And that practice, when life is noisy and loud and dysregulated and all the things, like that is always my grounding place. The days I don't want to get out of bed, I say to myself, that's one last person who you've helped bring their big idea and dream to life. And then that's it.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

Yeah. I love that. And I love that one of the things that you sort of said, but to sum it up is like the vision always stays the same, the how changes. Yeah. And I think that that's so great. So let people know how they can get in touch with you.

SPEAKER_01 49:45

I'm on Instagram and LinkedIn just under my name, Farah Kimji. I'm sure it'll be in the show notes there. So there's a double R in there. And then I'm also the founder of the Wealth Experience. As you know, I have the Instagram page for that as well. And again, wealth is spelt W E L L T H. So the Wealth Experience. And that's my IG handle as well as my website page, thewealth experience.com.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

Oh, amazing. Well, thank you so much for the insight and the inspiration and just the ability to share your story with so many people. I'm so grateful for you, and I can't wait for other people to hear your story.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

Well, thank you so much for creating this beautiful platform.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

Thank you.