Teachers, It Feels Over, But You Are Still Responsible

It's May. The countdowns are on the walls. Students are already mentally checked out. And you still have to show up and do your job like it's October.

That tension is real. And it's one of the hardest parts of this time of year that nobody talks about.

In this episode, we're naming the contradiction teachers are living in right now — and why feeling off this time of year doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

This is the first episode of our May series — Waiting to Exhale.

We’re not here to fix.
We’re here to notice. 

If this helped, pass it to another teacher who might need it. 

Until next time… 

give yourself the same care you give everyone else.

 ~Kim 🌿 

Transcript

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Okay, teachers. It's the beginning of May. And I gotta say, something just doesn't feel right. Are you feeling that too? Things feel like they're off, like they're just kind of out of sync. School is still happening. You're still going. You're still doing all that stuff you're supposed to do. But something has changed recently. We have all of these activities happening all over the place. Teachers and students have the infamous countdown. You all know it. Walk by any teacher or student in the building, mostly teachers. And they'll be able to tell you how many days are left in school. You have field day set, award ceremonies. Yep, those are coming too. We got them all finalized, checking off the names twice. You're looking to see who's getting the awards. You're looking to see who's going where for summer. Everyone's planning for this great thing. And teachers' part of you is already feeling like it's over. But guess what? You still have to be there. And guys, I mean fully there. Responsible for all the same stuff you've been responsible for since August. And then there's this feeling that you have, you know, that feeling of being almost done, but you ain't quite done. Guys, that's just one of the hardest things that may give to teachers. It's just that feeling of almost done, but not quite done. Guys, welcome back to Teaching Without Losing Yourself the podcast. I'm Kim. After 28 years in education, I realized I couldn't get teachers what they needed within the system. So I decided to support teachers from outside the system instead. That's why this podcast exists. This is After the Bells Beyond the Box, a moment made just for teachers, even on the moon. Everything we talk about here is built around this. Teachers, you can stay in teaching without losing yourself in the process. Our goal is always to help you see what is getting in the way of that. So you can also see things more clearly than you did the day before. This month, our theme, our work is waiting to excel. And I named it that because that is what it feels like. We are all just waiting to exhale, waiting to breathe. In schools around the world, teachers are holding their collective breath, trying to get through, waiting for the moment that they can transition from school to home for their extended break. Before we move on, though, let's take a quick look at what we did last month in April because it kind of connects. We talked about perfection not being required, and we started to really see where our time was silently slipping away from us. This month, we're going to build on that awareness of the time that slips away each month. Okay? Because May doesn't just ask you to keep doing your job, it asks you to keep doing your job while everything else around you is screaming, literally screaming. It is over. And that creates a real special kind of pressure for people, okay? For teachers. So, guys, here's what's really happening. Everything around you is saying we're done. Countdowns on the wall. Testing is finished. Well, almost finished for some. Field trips, field days, celebrations, awards. All these things are saying, we are done. We are done. Students may be in your class, but you and I both know they are tired too, and that they have checked out as well. And teachers, you are right there with the students. You're there physically. Everyone can see you, they see you, they hear you, but no, you're just as checked out as the students. Gosh, probably more than the students. You are done. But your role hasn't changed. You're still responsible for learning, still responsible for behavior, still responsible for structure and safety. And the hardest part isn't the work itself. You're used to that. The hardest part is doing the work at a moment when you're literally having long conversations with yourself in the mornings while in bed about if you are really going to be able to make it to the school or not. Y'all, it's hard. You have no energy, you have no fuel. So you are questioning if you will be able to make it to the last day. And you're doing that every single day. Teachers, you are using the same fuel that you received in August. And now your tank is operating on fumes only. So let's discuss a few real moments from your day. You walk into school Monday morning, you have your plans ready to go, but your room feels different. Your kids are restless before you even start the day. While walking through the halls, you hear someone mentioning how many days are left in the school year. You hear a student asking if we will all be doing anything fun that day. I mean, they're literally asking, what are we doing today? Like we're in school, we're doing the same stuff we always do. But no, guys, they don't see that. Your mind is preparing you. But you're thinking, we're not done. You're thinking, we still have things to do. You're just thinking, I still have to teach. But by then, it is too late. You can feel the push from the simple idea of doing what is on your perfectly imperfect plan. Throughout the school, teachers can be heard everywhere sharing their great plans for the summer. They're going to the beach to visit their parents to see their grandchildren. You know, they're leaving the country for the entire break. Don't call me. My phones won't be working. They're swapping those cell phones and laptops out for hiking boots, swimsuits, and tons of suntan lotion. Jokes about what they will not miss about the school year are there, and which students they wish well in their new grade level. And you feel the same way, but you still have to go back to your room and hold it together for the rest of the day. And at the end of the day, instead of feeling like you have accomplished something, like sometimes you do, you just feel like you just got through it. I mean, that's the accomplishments, maybe. Because honestly, teachers, getting through it is what May asks of you. That's pretty much it. And getting through it takes more than people realize. So, teachers, here's the important part. Uh are you ready for this? I want to make sure you hear it. Because I know you're perfectly imperfect. This isn't about your motivation. Got it? This isn't about how much you care. Teachers who feel this way in May are not teachers who have stopped caring. They're teachers who have been carrying for so long without a real break. They've been caring and carrying without a moment of rest. Your mind is naturally starting to close the year. And guys, that's not weakness. It's just natural. This is our rhythm. This is our ritual. Your whole system, every system you have, including your body system, is starting to prepare for the rest. But while your system is doing that, your role hasn't released you yet. It's still holding you. You still have things to do with the school with the students. So you're literally in two places at once. You have dual worlds. Part of you is already stepping back. Then there's a part of you that's still fooling on. And holding on to these dual sides of your world is exhausting in a way that's hard to explain to someone who hasn't done it. This is not a you problem. This is not a teacher problem. Guys, this is a May problem. That's it. It's a May problem. And it happens to teachers every single year. So you may be asking, so Kim, what is the cost of this? Because there's a cost to this, right? You know there's one. And most of the time that cost is invisible unless you slow down. It's not a big cost. It doesn't show up all at once. It shows up as shorter patience, as the feeling that small things are bigger than they really should be. As the exhaustion that hits you on a Tuesday when you haven't done anything different on this Tuesday than you did on a Tuesday, let's say in February, but still something's different. You're doing the same job, but with less room for error, less mental space, goodness, less energy than you had earlier in the year. And the thing I hear most from teachers in May is it's like a recording. I just need to get through. How are you doing, girl? I just need to get through it. You know, the head shaking, the head is down, walking. I just need to get through this. I can't count how many times I said this just last week myself. We say it to ourselves, we say it to our friends and our family. We pass teachers in the hall and we say it again. Are we almost there, girl? We are almost there. Does that sound familiar? So I understand that, but I want you to know that getting through it doesn't have to mean that you're emptying yourself to do it. Okay, you don't have to leave that space empty. So here's what I want you to try this week. Just this one thing. Okay. When you notice that tension of being almost done, but still fully responsible, don't fight it. Yeah, that's what I said. Don't fight it. Don't push through it like it isn't there. And don't let it convince you that something is wrong with you. Just call it what it is. Confront it. Own it. This is what May feels like. Things around me are saying one thing, but my job is asking something different. And both are true right now. That's it. You don't have to fix the problem. You don't have to make it stop. Just call it out for what it is, takes some of the weight off of your shoulders. Because teachers know this a lot of exhaustion in May doesn't come from the work itself. You are used to that. You're a pro. It comes from trying to make sense of why it feels this hard. But guys, the end is so close. And you can see it. Well, now you know why. So this is where we're beginning May, not with pushing through it like we normally do, not with a list of strategies, who needs that, but with simply naming what's actually happening. Being aware that this is what's happening. Because once you can name it, that contradiction, the misalignment between what your environment is saying to you loudly, the environment, and what your role is still asking you to do each day. That is a contradiction. You stop wondering what's wrong with you, and you just start seeing it for what it is. Teachers, that's the first step. That's what this month is for. This is what I mean when I say we're waiting to excel. And guys, it's coming. We're gonna spend the next four weeks looking at this from every angle, slowly, one layer at a time. Because you deserve to finish this year without losing yourself in the process of getting there, right? As always, we're doing this slowly, one layer at a time, together. Until next time, teachers, give yourself the same care you give everyone else.