Reflections and Learning Points from the First Coaching Session: Debrief of Coaching Session #1 With Dr. Mary

In this debrief episode of The Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast, Dr. Jessica Singh reflects on her first coaching session with Dr. Mary. Dr. Mary is a family medicine intern in the United States who is navigating a major life transition as a first-time mother preparing to return to residency training after maternity leave.

Dr. Singh revisits the themes that emerged in that initial coaching session, including Dr. Mary’s exploration of the tension between her calling to medicine and her commitment to motherhood. At the heart of the session was the core question: How do I be both a mother and a physician at the same time?

In this session, Dr. Singh also debriefs her experience stepping into coaching in this format for the first time. She shares the story behind the podcast’s beginnings with honesty and humility, reflecting on what it meant to create something new, to begin before feeling fully prepared, and to expand access to coaching for physicians.

Dr. Singh offers listeners a behind-the-scenes look at how she prepared for that first session, including the intentional practices she used to cultivate presence and the steps she took to establish safety, structure, confidentiality, and a clear coaching agreement. As the episode unfolds, she reflects on what she learned from the experience and on the importance of mentorship, vulnerability, and ongoing professional development in the practice of coaching.

Timestamps:

0-9:43 - Humble Foundations: The Courage to Begin This Journey

9:44-13:44 - Preparing for the First Coaching Session with Dr. Mary

13:45–20:51- Reflections from the First Coaching Session with Dr. Mary

20:52 - Takeaways

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The podcast is dedicated to making physician coaching more accessible while offering meaningful support to physicians and those who coach them.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Dr. Singh: Welcome to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Jessica Singh. This podcast explores physician health, wellbeing, and fulfillment, embracing all aspects of the human experience. Just as in medicine where a single interaction can transform a life, this podcast is grounded on the belief that each coaching conversation has the power to inspire, heal, and bring about meaningful change. 

[00:00:35] Creativity evolves organically, and one of the most important things to nurture creativity that I've learned is to allow space to let things flow. I initially had the idea of doing this podcast, of wanting to coach physicians and make it accessible. And I've had this idea for a long time now, but I, for one reason or another, hadn't had the courage to act it on it until now, because I realized that the time is now.

[00:01:11] I will always fight the good fight of advocating for holistic health and wellbeing in coaching, especially and medical education and in universities and medical schools and residencies and fellowships. The very honest truth is there's a lot of red tape to get through and so much of wanting to do the work of a coach is spent getting through to a system and doing so many other things to make the pathway for coaching to happen. And so I really was excited with this podcast because I thought: you know what, roads happen when you create them yourself. And that's the beauty of the world we live in these days. If something doesn't exist, you can create it. So I was really excited about this idea, but by the time I was ready to do it, I had already been removed from medicine by four years and so I didn't know that many physicians in-training to ask them about an endeavor like this and I also started cold outreaching because I thought, "wouldn't it be wonderful to reach out to physicians in-training?"

[00:02:19] It's really humbling to put yourself out there. I sent a lot of inquiries cold and didn't get many responses at all. I didn't get any initially, which is understandable. I think I took myself off of social media when I was in-training and it's very intimate to respond to someone that you don't know. And so I was about to say, okay, maybe this podcast idea is not going to happen until someone responded 'yes'. And how I know this is a sign that this podcast was supposed to be here was the situation in which that person who said yes, that physician in-training, was that they wanted coaching.

[00:03:06] The person had responded that they're a new mom in their first year of residency and so they thought, even though they had never been coached before, that coaching would be valuable to them.

[00:03:18] I haven't shared the details of this publicly. But, you know, not only did I never expect to transition careers out of emergency medicine so soon, which was right after my fellowship, but I also thought I would be a mom by now and still praying and on that track, but it hasn't happened yet. And I've always wanted to reach out to moms, especially knowing everything that physicians in-training go through. But part of me, despite knowing what I know about coaching and how you don't have to be a subject matter expert to be a coach, it doesn't mean that I have to have the same experiences as my clients does.

[00:04:08] Something in my heart was like, how could I put myself out there and try to coach new moms when I've been on this journey myself and it hasn't happened yet? And sometimes with the self-management sometimes brings some tears, but you know, that's life. And so I thought, "okay, this is amazing. This podcast is meant to happen, even if it's just for one person."

[00:04:34] And initially with the idea of this podcast, I thought, okay, maybe we'll do a session before the recording, then record a session and move on. And I try to find different positions. And after doing my first session with that physician in-training, whose name is Mary, I realized that there would be a huge value to actually following these physicians, navigating their situation they're in over the course of several months. And so they're receptive, which is wonderful and so willing, so grateful to everyone who has come on so far and the physicians I found who are ready to participate in this podcast are willing to share their lives, willing to share their lives for people to learn to realize that they're not alone at all, that so many of the situations we're going through, even though they're unique,

[00:05:30] very universal. And I'm so grateful. And so I am recording this episode as a debriefing episode after my first session with my first coaching candidate, Mary, because I realized that, in being a coach, and walking that talk and talking about vulnerability, even though I am so grateful for my years in medical practice and I have done several coach trainings, I am still relatively new to coaching.

[00:06:06] I am board certified through the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching and through the International Coaching Federation. And although these certifications took about a year and a half or two years to get, I have a long way to go. And so for instance, the International Coaching Federation offers three different tiers of credentials.

[00:06:28] The first level, which I have is an Associate Certified Coach. In order to get this credential, you need to meet certain educational requirements and also have at least 100 hours of coaching experience from after when your coach training begins. There's also an exam and practicum, so they do a great job of assuring credibility of credentialed coaches. And the next level of credential is a Professional Certified Coach. In order to obtain this credential, someone has to have 500 hours of coaching experience. There are different educational requirements. They also have to go through a practicum and an exam. So I am working my way towards the Professional Certified Coach credential at this time, and ultimately to the highest level of credential through the International Coaching Federation, which is Master Certified Coach. In order to get this credential, coaches have to have 2, 500 hours of coaching experience.

[00:07:36] And again, they have to go through a practicum. For each level of credential, there's also a certain amount of mentor hours involved. So it's really a continuous process, which I enjoy and has brought the best out of me as a coach because it encourages continuous introspection, continuous growth, and really it's brought the best out of me to just been on this lifelong journey of a learner, which I'm already used to for medicine. And I love this so much. It feels like medicine because you get to really communicate with people and get to the heart.

[00:08:14] To become a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach is also rigorous. Coaches have to go through, in approved coach training, they have to have a certain number of coaching hours, and they also have to take a board exam, which is co administered by the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching and the National Board for Medical Examiners.

[00:08:38] However, at this time although there are requirements for recertification, there are no different levels of credentials like there are for the International Coaching Federation.

[00:08:49] And so what I realized was, so here I am dual certified and realizing that my own coaching should professionally develop to better serve physicians, to better serve other coaches, to be a better coach and contribute to the field of coaching. And so for all of these reasons, I am also sharing vulnerability here as a coach because I am by no means perfect.

[00:09:16] You know, you just try to do the best you can. And for this, especially for this kind of project, to make coaching accessible, to have people share and learn from each other's stories. For me, it's so worth it. It's so worth putting yourself out there. And so I ask listeners to please accept my humility with this.

[00:09:37] This is very raw and unscripted. And I'm just here to share the learning and growth process.

[00:09:43] So I'd like to start by debriefing this episode by how I prepared for my first session. Similarly to the way I would prepare for my first session with anyone I was coaching, I blocked off time before and after the coaching session. Because this is my first time ever coaching live on a podcast, I blocked off more time than I normally do. I blocked off about an hour. And to be very honest, I did not let myself take other meetings that were outside my world of coaching during the day, because I did not want my mind to be distracted and I wanted to be fully present. I also found myself more nervous for this first coaching session compared to any other coaching session I've had in the past, just because of the thought of people listening or criticizing.

[00:10:33] And so I was really aware of my self talk prior to this interaction, prior to this first assessment to just observe what was coming up for me, somehow get to this space and through yoga and years of meditation, I've been able to do this, which is to not even allow that negative self talk from forming, not controlling it or suppressing it, just not even to allow those words to generate, not to allow words to generate that were not serving me. And so we did a lot of breathing. I always do prayers right before each session, before the coaching call. Even though we did our coaching session together on the podcast, we began 10 or 15 minutes early and just took some time to sit and get grounded together and just hold this space, create the space and just set the intention for sharing, for growth, for supporting each other and for trying to help whoever this may help. Also before the first session, because this was on a podcast, there were a lot of logistics that had to be discussed. So in terms of the coaching agreement, Mary, the first coaching client, and each person who comes on this podcast, they understand what details are being shared with listeners and what details are not.

[00:12:01] So everyone gives a different first name. And although they share what their positions are, specifics are not shared at all to protect their confidentiality. It's only audio, there's no video, and there's always a security blanket, meaning that if something comes out during a coaching session, or if some topic needs to be explored that they don't want published my first priority is the well being of the person being coached and so they have every right to tell me after the session's over, "Hey, I don't want this published." So with that, we had established a coaching agreement. We had talked about the coaching relationship, frequency duration. And also I ask coachees to fill out an assessment form prior to our first session together, so they can already start thinking about what they want to be coached on, what barriers they may be facing are. And so they can really think about their roles as a thinker because that's the key thing, especially for physicians. We are used to fixing things. We are used to being the expert and when we are often in professional relationships, such as mentoring or education, there is a hierarchy for most of our education, where you have an attending or someone who's the expert, and we are learning. And coaching is completely different from that, where the person being coached is the expert, and it's their decision to drive. And so that shift sometimes takes a little while to adjust to. So all of that was discussed prior to the first coaching session.

[00:13:45] So just reflecting on the process of establishing the coaching agreement, I mean, it's hard to self mentor yourself, but I feel like according to the NBHWC, they state in their competencies that the coach's aims for the initial session or intake session are to describe the coaching process, review information, determine if the client is an appropriate candidate for coaching and for the coach, and to clarify roles and expectations.

[00:14:14] It's interesting too, because as I was trying to figure out how to debrief this episode, I actually realized that I have never received feedback from a mentor coach on an assessment session, and that's something I really want to do. Because when you're in your coach trainings, often you coach another person in your class, or at the end, you end up coaching somebody and submitting the recording to a faculty member.

[00:14:49] And because the assignment is being graded, it's usually someone you've coached before. So you can try to hit off all the markers you're responsible for checking, so that way you can pass the class. Even though you're coaching, it's different. And what I realized is, in terms of the coaching relationship, especially this first conversation you have with someone who has never been coached before and doesn't know what coaching is, they haven't experienced it yet, right? And so how do you explain what it is while assessing who they are holistically and not leading? You know, in the assessment session, there's this practical ideal of yes, you uncover what someone wants to explore during coaching. How do you know if you're doing it right,

[00:15:35] right? Cause I know, especially in the NBHWC and their content outline, they talk about the early sessions and how they're really used for exploring; exploring someone's ideal state of health and wellbeing and what the gaps are, what reality is, how maybe to bridge those gaps. And then there are more routine sessions, so to speak, where someone comes in with a goal or with a specific topic of focus.

[00:15:58] And then the point of the coaching is obviously you want to facilitate a shift, but there's also shifts being facilitated in the very assessment sessions and a lot of clarity and a lot of work happening. So one of the things I like about the PCC markers also is that they state that the coach acts in response to the whole person and you're really trying to cater to the who rather than the what. And you're also asking questions to understand someone's current way of thinking, feeling their values, wants, beliefs, or behavior. And this is something I see at the International Coaching Federation and the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching both have an alignment. And so, do you ask questions to help the client explore beyond the client's current thinking and to expand shifts in perspective?

[00:16:51] Obviously, the goal is to allow the person being coached to do the most talking.

[00:16:56] And so as I reflect on my session with Mary, I feel like she definitely shared her situation holistically, and I was able to facilitate that transformation and facilitate a conversation where she was able to explore alignment with her values, and where the challenges are for her. What was interesting too, was asking her at the end about accountability and how she likes to learn.

[00:17:25] I know there were even goals that came up at the end of this session. And I know also at the beginning, sometimes you don't want to set goals prematurely because it's premature, but you know, is it wrong to set some goals at the end of the first session? Or if it's like, maybe I want to do these things to start supporting myself and supporting a shift.

[00:17:46] I don't think that there's necessarily a wrong or a right. I'm just really curious to know what the feedback would be from a mentor coach. And so the tricky part also for me for finding mentor coaching, or for anyone who's dual certified, is (A) do I find someone who's dual certified from ICF and the NBHWC to mentor coach me? Because for mentor coaching, someone would have to be, at least I would prefer someone to be at least at the PCC or MCC level. And so I am looking forward to getting to know and hoping to find a mentor coach to help me through this process and hopefully to be able to mentor me on this podcast.

[00:18:27] And usually what mentor coaching entails is giving the mentor coach the transcript of the coaching session, letting them listen to the coaching session and they go through the coaching session and based on the coach credentialing body competencies, they give you feedback. And so it's a really invaluable experience and I am looking forward to learning.

[00:18:52] And so I do plan to have regular debriefing episodes in this podcast cause I just feel like for coaches, especially for other coaches who are coaching physicians or just for coaches, it's so important for us to share this growth process and there's so much vulnerability with it. So I hope you found this valuable and this is the role of learning, right?

[00:19:17] In my coaching agreement, I actually have a clause that states somewhere along the lines of making sure everyone I coach agrees for me to share information for my own professional development. Obviously nothing confidential, but in terms of details about the coaching content or the coaching session without sharing personal information because that mentorship is so important and it's so important to make sure that there's transparency and confidentiality.

[00:19:49] So that's another important part of my coaching agreement. I'm hoping to find mentors to come on the show to share their wisdom so we can grow together. And I look forward to receiving mentoring and growing along the way. If you're listening to this, what do you look for in a mentor coach? I was thinking about this because know more or less what I look for in a coach, but what do you look for in a mentor coach? And so for me, I think psychological safety is a big one, especially having gone through medical education and not having warm and fuzzy. So that psychological safety, that compatibility, does their feedback make sense?

[00:20:33] Because even if it's grounded in the ICF competencies or in the NBHWC competencies, is there feedback, something that's making me a better coach? And what is their experience? Who are they as a person obviously? So these are the things that I'm starting to think about, and I'm sure more criteria will come up along the way.

[00:20:51] So my takeaways from this episode are (1) the importance of mentorship, the importance of continuing professional development as a coach, and how it's so needed because coaching is a communication science. It's an art of communicating with another human being.

[00:21:08] And it's something you can't fully learn from a textbook at all. And it's so important to continue to evolve as a coach, to professionally develop yourself. So that way you objectively can do the best you can for the people you want to serve. And that's what I love about the mentorship is yes there's some subjectivity in there, but it's objective. It's based on competencies. And so there is a core alignment there and a certain standard of professionalism for coaching that we're all trying to achieve. 

[00:21:41] My second takeaway is honoring vulnerability. The vulnerability we have as coaches, honoring the vulnerability of our clients and really walking that talk of having that self compassion: that humility and realizing just the power of being ourselves and sharing; because at the end of the day, I realize, what's going to serve you is going to serve many, especially people who need you the most.

[00:22:10] Thank you for listening to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to making coaching more accessible and to support both physicians and those who coach them. Subscribe to access exclusive subscriber-only episodes, including physician coaching sessions, coaching debriefs, and coach mentoring sessions that offer valuable insights for professional development for coaches.

[00:22:41] Your support helps sustain this work. Subscribe and leave a thoughtful review at www .holistic physician coaching podcast .com. Sending you warmth and light.