Navigating Long Workdays As A New Physician Mom: Coaching Session #3 with Dr. Mary

In this episode of The Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast, Dr. Jessica Singh coaches Dr. Mary in her third coaching session as she prepares for her first day back at work as a new physician mom. Dr. Mary is a family medicine resident physician in her intern year navigating first-time motherhood. 

During this coaching session, Dr. Mary reflects on her transition back to work after maternity leave. Together, Dr. Singh and Dr. Mary explore ways to avoid feeling low during extremely long days away from home, especially when Dr. Mary feels she has missed an entire day at home with her child. For the first time, Dr. Mary vocalizes the inner dialogue that can surface near the end of a long workday, including thoughts about being away from home, missing bedtime, feeling tired, and questioning how sustainable the demands of residency feel.

Throughout the conversation, Dr. Singh supports Dr. Mary in slowing down, noticing where these emotions show up in her body, and creating space for a shift in mindset. Dr. Mary builds  the strategy of taking a pause, reconnecting with her purpose in medicine, remembering that her child is cared for, and grounding herself in the values that brought her to family medicine.

The session also highlights practical support for difficult days, including setting a reminder to pause in the afternoon, checking in with home, looking at photos or updates, journaling, breathing mindfully, and bringing nourishing food or snacks to sustain herself through long shifts.

This episode offers physicians and coaches a meaningful example of how coaching can support reflection, self-awareness, and grounded action.. The conversation explores how small, intentional practices can help a physician reconnect with presence, purpose, and self-compassion during demanding seasons of training and life.

Timestamps:

0 - Checking In: Dr. Mary’s Return to Residency After Maternity Leave

6:36 - Session Focus: Navigating Long Workdays Away From Home as a Physician Mom 

23:23 - Dr. Mary’s Mindset Shifts, Supportive Anchors, and Takeaways 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Dr. Jessica Singh: Welcome to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Jessica Singh. This podcast explores physician health, wellbeing, and fulfillment, embracing all aspects of the human experience, just as in medicine where a single interaction can transform a life. This podcast is grounded on the belief that each coaching conversation has the power to inspire, heal, and bring about meaningful change.

[00:00:36] In this episode, I have the privilege of coaching Mary for a third coaching session together. Mary is a family medicine intern from the United States. Welcome, Mary.

[00:00:47] Dr. Mary: Good to be here. Thanks for having me, Jessica.

[00:00:50] Dr. Jessica Singh: Of course. It's been almost three weeks since our last session and things happen, especially with internship. And so I'd love to begin by checking in and ask what's been coming [00:01:00] for you?

[00:01:01] Dr. Mary: Kind of crazy to think it's been pretty much three weeks, but also it feels like in a few days, like a long and short at the same time as it goes. Things have been going well, this is my 3rd week back since maternity leave, back working. And it's gone a lot better than I had feared so that is a relief to report. 

[00:01:26] Dr. Jessica Singh: Can you tell me more about that?

[00:01:28] Dr. Mary: So I've been on the inpatient medicine service the past few weeks, and as with any residency experience, I think, but especially on a team oriented service. A huge blessing that I have one of my favorite teams that I've been on, really good supportive co residents and. Really great attendings too.

[00:01:51] So it's been all in all an ideal setup, I think, for returning back to work as well as, I mean, [00:02:00] out of anyone's control. So just like, luck, I suppose that we've had a more relaxed service right now too. We have like, half the patients right now that we usually do on our service that we're taking care of, which is a miracle.

[00:02:13] So of course that fluctuates, but it's been a lot more chill in that regard as well. So I could have worried about it being the opposite and having a hard to deal with team or just having a lot of patients on our list, but it ended up being the opposite, which I'm very grateful to the universe for that setup. 

[00:02:30] Dr. Jessica Singh: What about the environment that you're in do you find has been most supportive to you? 

[00:02:36] Dr. Mary: I have some really great co residents who are, , very gung ho and the attendings as well that are, they told me, like, , whatever we're doing, if you need to pump, doesn't matter, just leave, go pump. So that was a huge relief to me because I was very out. Missing things, missing learning opportunities, and then also just like maybe having some passive or not so [00:03:00] passive irritation from co residents that I'm leaving to go pump or things like that.

[00:03:03] So I'm very grateful that my team has given me the opposite experience and very supportive of that. Especially because I think a lot of my anxiety going back to work was centered around pumping and my supply disappearing or just me not liking pumping in general and having to be like isolating experience, but it's been much better than I had worried in the sense of support to go pumping. And then our pumping room isn't like nice necessarily in the hospital, but at least has a good space for me. And there's another resident who is older in the program, who also uses it and so we go back and forth , and just having someone else also who is in their pumping experience helps me feel a little less like isolated and alone. Great to have her to talk. And then just outside of that, the environment I guess in my head has been very good in terms of going back to work and realizing, oh, yeah, I liked [00:04:00] medicine before I had a kid. I still like medicine now. If anything, it felt really good to get back and fresh off some of the dust in my brain that accumulated for the 10 weeks that I was gone. And it was a relief to feel good to be in the hospital and not like, miserable that I wasn't home with my baby.

[00:04:19] Of course, , I've missed being home with my baby, but it also felt good to be out and about and doing what I love to do as well. So.

[00:04:30] Dr. Jessica Singh: And how has the time been at home then too? Because that's a big transition, like you mentioned, being full time at home for ten weeks, and now you're full time in the hospital.

[00:04:39] Dr. Mary: Yeah. So I also, I'm very lucky, and I know many people don't have this advantage, but my spouse, he is technically a full time student, but him taking 12 credits this semester is like him taking nothing. It feels like he has a way more relaxed [00:05:00] schedule than he's had previously, and that I ever had in college and med school.

[00:05:03] And half of the few classes he's taking is also online, so he is able to be home with our baby more, which is wonderful. And we also made a shift and a decision. We had planned to do daycare which, long story short, the daycare just had requirements to be full time. We ended up thinking we don't really need full time with his schedule being, luckily, as relaxed as it was.

[00:05:31] So we switched and did a part time nanny, which people, it's very expensive. Everyone hears the word nanny and I immediately think, wow, you're really wealthy and very bougie lifestyle. So I feel ridiculous. I'm like, wow, we have a nanny, but been a huge emotional support for me too, I think to know that there's a husband at home with our baby.

[00:05:52] And then there's also when he's not at home, there's a person that we know in our home with our baby and taking care [00:06:00] of him in his, yeah place where he already prefers to be soothed and consoled and has all those resources. So that is very helpful for my mental health to know he's with the people when I'm not.

[00:06:12] Dr. Jessica Singh: So it sounds like you have a support system both at home, that allows you to have that trust and like you said, mental sanity, mental peace, and then you also are having support at work.

[00:06:22] Dr. Mary: Yeah, definitely. It's been great to feel that he is in a safe place when I'm not there. And then at work I feel like I'm in a supportive safe, like safe place. And that's I guess the essence of it.

[00:06:36] Dr. Jessica Singh: And so we have about 40 more minutes left together. What would you like to explore in this coaching session?

[00:06:43] Dr. Mary: I'm trying to think about it because I expected myself to be in tears, blubbering, I hate this, blah, blah, blah, like a lot more emotional at this point and I definitely had that my first week. It was hard. There was a day that I was in the hospital [00:07:00] early and then had a busy morning and then I had clinic in the afternoon, which I had clinic in a rural location.

[00:07:07] So, it was like an hour drive away but I had a brief window, like 20 minutes where I was going to be driving past my house. And so I breastfed in between this busy day just so I could be home for a little bit and I was really grateful, but I also it emotionally just shook me. I guess I was like crying and sad.

[00:07:26] I'm like, no, I don't want to leave the house again. So, I don't know. I was reflecting on the hard days as well as the good days that I've been having. Maybe it would just be good to talk about maybe, I don't know how to adjust mentally, I suppose, when I have a very long day away from home. I'm I think part of my very good mental health right now is that I haven't had to stay 12 plus hours in the hospital every single day that I'm expected to I've been able to leave earlier. So I rephrase this and ways [00:08:00] to not feel very low with an extremely long day away from the house.

[00:08:10] Dr. Jessica Singh: Can you tell me a little bit more about what comes up for you when you feel like you're away from home for a while? I know you use 12 hours as a marker, but what kind of feelings come up for you when you. What happens when you're out working for so long?

[00:08:27] Dr. Mary: Yeah, I think the longer days are hard just mentally to be working for prolonged periods. I feel like everyone who's worked in a hospital shift gets that when it's 5 a. m. to 5 p. m. or longer and you would sign out or like late admissions or something. But I think specifically for me, it's I've missed a whole day of my child's life, not even just , , eight hours of a work day, but their entire day and I'm going to go home and then just get him ready for bed, essentially, and then that makes me feel sad like I'm missing [00:09:00] out.

[00:09:00] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I ask, how does this show up for you? How do you find that this feeling of maybe being away or feeling a missing out on OJ's life? .

[00:09:07] Dr. Mary: I feel like it usually comes up when I've been gone, honestly, like around the 10 hour mark. Like, if I'm like around 3 p. m. I've been at the hospital almost 10 hours, I guess straight. Not including commuting time. And I think that's probably partly fatigue setting in when you wake up at 4 and you didn't sleep well because your baby was awake for half the night.

[00:09:35] And so I'm hitting a lull physically and emotionally. I think it's when that starts creeping onto my mental health.

[00:09:45] Dr. Jessica Singh: And what have you been doing to build up your strength and nurture yourself? Or have you found a way to, I know it's only been three weeks since you've been back.

[00:09:54] Dr. Mary: Throughout the day at work, if I get a chance, [00:10:00] like when I'm pumping, I'll give a quick call to the nanny or to my husband, just to check in and that does really help just to feel connected to his day and my husband, even, and just have a connection to my family. That's the best I think right now is just calling and checking in. 

[00:10:19] Dr. Jessica Singh: So in our session today, what you'd like to explore is how to support your well being, mental health, and just your emotional well being when you are working for long hours and long days.

[00:10:30] Dr. Mary: Yeah. 

[00:10:34] Dr. Jessica Singh: How would you know you've been successful at doing this?

[00:10:37] Dr. Mary: Probably it would be based on the feeling that I get at the end of the day, right before I leave the hospital. Because once, you know, you leave work, you feel relieved and go home and that always feels an answer to some anxiety or that always helps me feel better, of course, getting home, but not feeling miserable near the end of the workday and wanting to sprint out the door [00:11:00] from the hospital. It's only happened a few times for where I've been at work later get there and it's dark and then you leave and it's dark and it's been 12 13 hours. I am dreading the next morning because it's already so close. 

[00:11:16] Dr. Jessica Singh: When that happens, when you end up leaving late or wanting to get home and then already thinking about coming back in the next morning, how does or doesn't that align with how you ideally would like to be in terms of your values and just living your life? 

[00:11:30] 

[00:11:33] Dr. Mary: It does not align with how I picture work life balance and it doesn't align with how I want to distribute my time, which is more with family, more with the people who I love and, less at work, I guess. Yeah. 

[00:11:51] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I also ask you, and this may or may not resonate with you is something I feel like is coming just from listening to you, just subtext [00:12:00] that's coming just from a get level. But do you ever feel like there's ever any masking that happens?

[00:12:11] Dr. Mary: Masking as in putting on a happy face at work? 

[00:12:16] or? 

[00:12:16] Dr. Jessica Singh: I'll leave that open to if that word aligns with you in any way, to

[00:12:21] Dr. Mary: A loaded word. I'm trying to think how to interpret it. I, I'm interpreting the word masking as how I can see myself putting on a happy face all the time at work and with co residents and things. I feel like I'm not one to openly complain, about personal things. I like to think I'm an open person. I feel like I've said a few times, but when it comes to like, actually hard things, I tend to just, say, hey, it's okay in my head.

[00:12:59] [00:13:00] Like, other people have it harder. And so on the outside, I look probably more put together than I really am. And I've had a few co residents just already say that they're like, what the heck? You just had a baby. How are you not like on the floor? And I'm like, well. I guess I'm not physically on the floor right now.

[00:13:16] Mentally and energy wise, I feel closer to it.

[00:13:20] but I don't think I explicitly let that show.

[00:13:27] Dr. Jessica Singh: And where do you end up feeling those feelings when they come up or, , and what is showing up for you under the surface?

[00:13:33] Dr. Mary: Right. maybe just being more introverted, quieter, just turning more inward, especially at the end of the day, I will say, where I when you're tired, and you're focused, and or you I'm just really trying to get stuff done, , that also look angry.

[00:13:53] So either just angry or quiet.

[00:13:57] Dr. Jessica Singh: And so I know you had talked today about [00:14:00] ideally wanting to find ways to support yourself through this, right, emotionally, your well-being. In the last session, you had also talked about easing that transition a little bit. And when the emotions go, just trying to figure out a way to ground yourself and your answer was to ground yourself in the breath.

[00:14:15] And so I wanted to follow up on that and ask is that something you've been able to utilize?

[00:14:21] Dr. Mary: I've caught myself a few times doing it like consciously, like getting in and out of the elevator or just walking around by myself going to , an admission or something. But I also Have not caught myself consciously doing that enough for sure. 

[00:14:39] Dr. Jessica Singh: And so just the reason why that came up as an example now is because as we think about our session today and what you'd like to achieve from it, both just shift in perspective and is there any plan or what would you like to take away from today?

[00:14:54] Dr. Mary: I think similar theme to maybe the previous [00:15:00] one where we talked about coping mechanisms that I can use to change my mindset when I'm having a long day and I'm having these tendencies feel miserable and in turn inward whenever I just want to be home. 

[00:15:14] Dr. Jessica Singh: And I know this might seem like it's really obvious, but just to clarify why does this feel like an important issue for you right now to get a handle on this?

[00:15:26] Dr. Mary: Good question. I think it's because I know there's going to be some very long, regular, , everyday long days ahead. And I don't want to be miserable. I work and then letting that affect how I feel at home, , I don't want to be coming home to like a gray cloud. Like, I'm really tired and I've said that I was at work all day.

[00:15:53] And then I said about it while I'm at home, like, I want to leave that at work. If I even have those negative feelings[00:16:00] 

[00:16:01] Dr. Jessica Singh: How would you like to show up when you come home?

[00:16:05] Dr. Mary: Happy, or at least neutral and feeling like what I did that day was worth not being home.

[00:16:20] Dr. Jessica Singh: And when you think about this ideal of, , either being neutral or being happy and feeling like your time away from home was worth it, how often do you feel like that's actually happening right now?

[00:16:34] Dr. Mary: Now, I would say most every day. And I think that has to do with the fact that my team has been very effective at getting things done in the morning and having especially a chief resident who wants people to go home early once the work is done. So, that has been a [00:17:00] regular thing, having very productive mornings and then having more time at home.

[00:17:05] Dr. Jessica Singh: So, the work infrastructure you're in right now is able to help you achieve your ideal state.

[00:17:12] Dr. Mary: it definitely is. 

[00:17:16] Dr. Jessica Singh: So, thinking about the mechanisms that are in place, so obviously there's that support from work, what else do you feel like would need to happen or would like to be addressed in order for you to continue to feel this, you know, to come home and to feel happy or neutral and fulfilled

[00:17:36] especially on the long days.

[00:17:37] Dr. Mary: Yeah. Again, I feel like a lot of it is out of my control. So what is in my internal dialogue, I think, is what I would have to shift and control. So, maybe just one of the easy answers in my mind is trying to be more mindful in the afternoon when it's like 3 [00:18:00] o'clock, 4 o'clock, even 5 o'clock, and doing admissions rather than letting my mind kind of ruminate on the fact that I'm still at work or, you know, it's been X amount of hours since I've been home, but I'm trying to be more present minded and enjoy being at work as much as I can.

[00:18:20] And then trying to change my internal dialogue just in general, I guess, about being upset that I'm still at work. 

[00:18:28] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I ask you, just in terms of that internal dialogue, because that's such a powerful word, dialogue. There's sound with that, there's words with that, emotions, there's so much that go. You know, with respect to dialogue that you like to shift, can you tell me a little bit more about the dialogue that you see or hear or internally that's happening now?

[00:18:50] Dr. Mary: I like it. The dialogue of wow, you're maybe. I'm so slow at getting my work done or something like that, or [00:19:00] I'm still here or it's being just a recurring record of like, I need to get out. I need to get out, but I can't because I have to do X, Y, and Z I don't want to take work home or being angry at my senior resident or something. Like, please just send me home. Can you help finish things? You know, it can be, I think various types of dialogue. I don't think it's usually the same every time, honestly. But overall, just like, I am still here and not at home. And I don't know, I guess I've never really vocalized it.

[00:19:35] Dr. Jessica Singh: When you think about that dialogue, obviously starting within, you had said this is inner dialogue, how do you feel like the effects of that dialogue manifest for you?

[00:19:48] Dr. Mary: Just frustration and fatigue. 

[00:19:54] Dr. Jessica Singh: And so, you know, you had made this point earlier about there are parts about the [00:20:00] work and that you're asked to do that you can't control, like the patients need to be admitted and the things need to be done. And you had talked about shifting your own dialogue. What do you feel like you might want to let go of or shift? 

[00:20:14] Dr. Mary: Probably the expectation that I'm gonna get out early every day. I think that's part of it. Because then every time that I am not there till 6:00 PM it's an improved mindset rather than a downhill frustration spiral, I guess. 

[00:20:33] Dr. Jessica Singh: And would you like to just verbalize this just to take this out of the pure mental for a moment? 

[00:20:40] Dr. Mary: Yeah. 

[00:20:40] Dr. Jessica Singh: So let's say, Mary, would you like to say something to yourself that reflects the shift in mindset that you're just talking about releasing the 

[00:20:47] Dr. Mary: roleplay 

[00:20:48] Dr. Jessica Singh: expectation?

[00:20:49] Dr. Mary: it out. Let me visualize. Dark. 5: 30, 6 p. m. I should be gone by now, but I'm in the ED admitting someone, [00:21:00] which is fine. People need taken care of. I'm verbalizing a lot what I'm thinking. But obviously being tired. I'm sure I'm hungry. I probably haven't pumped And that's stressing me out. I probably very full and need to pump. There in lies one train of thought anxiety spiral, I guess, which would be , going to have a lower supply because I'm busy not at home, breastfeeding or pumping or whatever.

[00:21:30] And also the negative thoughts of just going to be here forever and wanting to change my career. That's another thought process because most jobs wouldn't require you to work that long, and miss dinner with your family or even miss bedtime things like that. Other thoughts i'd probably be having be just dreading the next morning because I would have to be [00:22:00] back and I Would have literally less time at home, the entire day that I'd spent at work. So, that would make me really upset. And, I'm probably typing away, writing someone's note, and getting cranky, and having , and being super upset looking. And then I guess other thoughts is that this is gonna be a regular thing, and this is gonna be the next two and a half years, and I'm gonna keep missing bedtimes, and then OJ. is gonna think I'm some terrible mother, more or less. Other trains of thought, I think.

[00:22:41] Dr. Jessica Singh: And where are you feeling this in your body?

[00:22:45] Dr. Mary: In my chest and my shoulders. 

[00:22:51] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I offer just a suggestion if you'd like, you don't have to, but if you'd like to just take a breath together, and just [00:23:00] exhale. Just honoring whatever it is you're feeling right now, with that mindset you just verbalized out loud for the first time. 

[00:23:06] And if it's possible, as you exhale, if you'd like to release and let go, and just bring your awareness back to your breath.

[00:23:23] And either keeping your eyes closed or eyes open, may ask you now if you'd like to verbalize, what would the shift in mindset be? 

[00:23:33] Dr. Mary: Think the shift would have to be taking a major pause rather than going towards more of the downhill negativity, but taking a pause while I'm writing my note in the ED or something. And countering my dialogue with more of a positive, hopeful one that this is not my fate for every day, [00:24:00] nor is it for necessarily even the rest of residency. And that there are people who need to be taken care of and that is my role in this moment. And that my husband is with OJ and there's plenty of mother doctors I know who, maybe not plenty, but some who I know, and they have great relationships with their children and they continue to have crazy schedules. A residency one, which is some thoughts I think that are coming to mind.

[00:24:38] That could be good counter arguments. I suppose. 

[00:24:42] Dr. Jessica Singh: And as you see yourself having these thoughts, so taking that pause, recognizing there are people that need to be taken care of, and that's your role right now. Realizing even that despite all of this, you do have examples in real life of people in residency who have those strong relationships with their [00:25:00] children.

[00:25:00] Dr. Mary: Okay. 

[00:25:02] Dr. Jessica Singh: How do you see yourself now? So like it's three or four o'clock at the end of the day, you just got an admission and, but you're having this shift now in mindset. How do you see yourself now?

[00:25:13] Dr. Mary: I see myself being more efficient and being a little lighter, if that makes sense. Like having just a lighter aura aura and experience and to be there more present in the moment. I guess enjoy the experience more of medicine and less about wanting to not be there. 

[00:25:40] Dr. Jessica Singh: Does this you that you're visualizing now, what values do you feel like there be able to embody? 

[00:25:51] Dr. Mary: I see that version of myself embodying more of the values that brought me to medicine, having a desire to care for [00:26:00] others be selfless, even empowered is the word I'm thinking of power to take care of other people and effective in that

[00:26:13] Dr. Jessica Singh: And if you were visualizing yourself showing up this way, how is it impacting those around you? How do you see it impacting your interactions with either people at work or at home?

[00:26:28] Dr. Mary: Definitely improving interaction with patients. I think having a lighter air about me, probably being a little more smiley and with my co residents and being more of an effective partner and then being lighter and happier, I think when I'm more present and seeming fulfilled at the end of the workday. 

[00:26:55] Dr. Jessica Singh: This was the first time you said you've vocalized this, the inner dialogue out [00:27:00] loud. Is there anything that's standing out to you about this vocalization, both of the current mind shift and the where you'd like to go?

[00:27:07] Dr. Mary: Yeah, that was really helpful. I think I've never really consciously sifted through the thoughts that I have at the end of a long work day like that. And that's why I feel so grumpy and have this dark cloud. I think it's eye opening because a lot of it is just some of the same fears that I had from going back to work in general not being available at home. 

[00:27:35] Dr. Jessica Singh: When you were saying what basically what stopped you from vocalizing this out loud and you're saying that it's interesting that you're noticing a similar pattern. Can you tell me more about what you're noticing that's similar?

[00:27:47] Dr. Mary: I feel like a lot of the answers for me are very similar where it's about changing my mindset and combating my negative thoughts with things that are also true in a positive [00:28:00] sense. I can't change the situation so much of it just me focusing on myself and my view around returning to work and my view around it's late in the evening, I'm not home, but why am I doing this in the first place?

[00:28:14] Why am I a doctor in the first place? And why that is worthwhile. And that making me not being home feel more fulfilling, feel better. So I just need to remind myself that when it's 5:30 p. m. at sign out or 6 p. m. even. 

[00:28:37] Dr. Jessica Singh: And speaking of reminding yourself, because one of the things you wanted from the end of the session today was plan. How do you feel like you might like to anchor into this new mindset or actually start being able to utilize it when you want to?

[00:28:52] Dr. Mary: I feel like I should set like a mental reminder for myself, like once it hits like three o'clock, maybe four o'clock, but either of those [00:29:00] times pausing and actively deciding to take a bit of a mental break, whether that even just be like, go to the bathroom or something to separate myself from work and just do some mindfulness. That would be a good way to reset rather than allowing myself to get progressively more fatigued and frustrated and or, you know, just dreading, oh, my gosh, I'm going to be here for another 2 hours or something. I'm going to miss at home or something. I was going to say, that's really smart. 

[00:29:28] Dr. Jessica Singh: So setting a mental reminder may ask would you also like to have some kind of physical reminder? Like an alarm or something.

[00:29:36] Dr. Mary: I was like, I could even set an alarm if I'm picking a time. That's a great idea. Some type of like break alarm. Step back and take a pause real quick. 

[00:29:46] Dr. Jessica Singh: Is there anything else you think that may help you shift into this mindset? 

[00:29:54] Dr. Mary: Journaling it out would be beneficial again. Just how we went through the exercise of me. [00:30:00] Trying to verbalize more so like what the feelings are and why I get so frustrated with a long day at the and also being more aware of those feelings and tracking it so that I can journal after the fact as well and reflect. That would be it.

[00:30:20] Dr. Jessica Singh: And do you feel like that is something you'll actually be able to do?

[00:30:24] Dr. Mary: Yeah, maybe not the night of, but at least once a week or I'm trying to journal once a week. I'm going to keep that goal. So having that be included in my journaling session. 

[00:30:38] Dr. Jessica Singh: And for how long do you end up journaling when you set your goal?

[00:30:43] Dr. Mary: I have missed the journal right when I got back to work, but usually it's like a 10 minute session. 

[00:30:53] Dr. Jessica Singh: And 10 minutes seems very reasonable for you.

[00:30:55] Dr. Mary: Yeah, we can do that. 

[00:30:56] Jess: The next question was, how would you like to hold [00:31:00] yourself accountable for this?

[00:31:02] Dr. Mary: Well, my husband again, and we could even talk about it at the next session. And I will even set an alarm for journaling that actually. It would probably be helpful to keep it and then that way I will know that I have not done it and then I can hold myself accountable.

[00:31:33] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I ask you another question? 

[00:31:35] Dr. Mary: Sure. 

[00:31:36] Jess: And if this is leading, I apologize. But, you had said something interesting, which was, you know, one of the shifts was letting go of the expectation to leave early. 

[00:31:47] So, may I ask you then, if you expect to leave at 6 or 7, like whatever time it is, and don't expect to leave early, would that impact [00:32:00] how you prepare yourself for your days?

[00:32:03] Dr. Mary: Yes. It would, at least mentally, definitely. 

[00:32:08] Jess: In what way?

[00:32:10] Dr. Mary: Prepare myself to be away from home longer. Physically, I don't think it would change anything, but knowing it's probably going to be dark when I get back and we'll be rushing into bedtime stuff, but having that expectation, I think, would help it be less painful. 

[00:32:31] Dr. Jessica Singh: May I ask a question that may also have a suggestion? I don't even know if it's possible, but you had mentioned one of the things that helps bridge the connection when you're away from work is when you are able to call home and either speak with your husband or the nanny. And so if you were to prepare to yourself to have this expectation to be there until six, or I know you'd also mentioned sometimes you just get hungry, you don't get hungry at the end of working for that long.

[00:32:59] Do you think [00:33:00] that either, is it possible to have or is this something you'd like to do, which is figure out how to check in more during the day or, you know, is there a way to bring more like sustenance, more food with you on shift? That's actually you find nourishing to help you get through the long days.

[00:33:16] Is there something else that's coming to you that you might you'd help. You talked about the mental preparation, which is so important. Is there any other preparation, any other ideas? And I'm sorry if I just suggested a couple, but are there anything coming up for you that might be able to help nurture you through this?

[00:33:34] Dr. Mary: I think that's a really good question and very good suggestion as well. Even just with this setting a timer and having a mental break, sending a text or checking my phone, because oftentimes I'm running around and I don't even like look at the updates of the day or messages.

[00:33:53] So checking my phone and seeing pictures that Joseph or the nanny sent or sending a text. [00:34:00] If it's this late in the day and I'm still there, I probably won't have time to call, but having some type of check in with home around three or four and grabbing food at lunchtime that I can eat later is probably a good idea. I don't I usually do that and then if I'm too late then there's not much besides like, I don't know, a protein bar, which even that is fine, but something a little more food like and less processed. 

[00:34:31] Dr. Jessica Singh: When you take the lunch and then you can eat it later, it's like the gift that keeps on 

[00:34:34] Dr. Mary: Exactly. Oh yeah. Oh, and I'm a hoarder of food. We get I don't know if it's free necessarily, but we get free food from the hospital as residents, which is a blessing. So I'll grab two to three plates. Like, I'm shameless. So.. 

[00:34:51] Dr. Jessica Singh: How do you might think you would feel at the end of your long day if you actually had a little bit more food nourishment or if you were able to even just see more [00:35:00] pictures more or pause yourself?

[00:35:02] Dr. Mary: I definitely feel less empty and a little more rejuvenated. 

[00:35:08] Dr. Jessica Singh: Do you feel like these steps are things you may be wanting to try? 

[00:35:11] Dr. Mary: Yeah, definitely. 

[00:35:14] Dr. Jessica Singh: And is this something you think you might do? How frequently?

[00:35:17] Dr. Mary: Ideally every day. That's a good idea. And we have a fridge. We can just keep stocking it up.

[00:35:23] Dr. Jessica Singh: And are there any challenges you see that may come up that you feel like you might want to have a backup plan to help you in case? 

[00:35:30] Dr. Mary: Yeah, I can certainly see it being too busy to even doing the mental break, you know. Or, yeah, just not having the mental capacity in that moment. So I guess not much that I could really do but keeping maybe a protein bar in my pocket. Sounds good. Yeah. And then just giving myself the mental space while I'm running around to just mindful [00:36:00] breathing.

[00:36:01] Dr. Jessica Singh: So always knowing you can anchor into the breath and whatever snacks you were able to put in your 

[00:36:05] Dr. Mary: oh yeah, 

[00:36:05] Dr. Jessica Singh: pocket snacks.

[00:36:06] Dr. Mary: That's, like, yeah. I'm becoming a snack hoarder, which I guess is probably a mom characteristic, I don't know, but. 

[00:36:12] Dr. Jessica Singh: And so, to close our session for today, what stood out to you most about this, about our time together?

[00:36:21] Dr. Mary: Feel like I said this last time, but the answers are usually stuff that I've already known help me, the philosophy of coaching, I guess. But just setting the intention to actually do things that I know help me, like you know, food, like breathing, like mindfulness, and staying connected to home. But the simplest things are usually the most powerful. So, that makes sense. 

[00:36:57] Dr. Jessica Singh: Thank you so much, Mary.

[00:36:59] Dr. Mary: Thank you, [00:37:00] Jessica. 

[00:37:00] Dr. Jessica Singh: Thank you for listening to the Holistic Physician Coaching Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to making coaching more accessible and to support both physicians and those who coach them. Subscribe to access exclusive subscriber only episodes, including physician coaching sessions, coaching debriefs, and coach mentoring sessions that offer valuable insights for professional development for coaches.

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