What's the F**king Point(e)?
If you were ever ever made to feel 'too much' in the ballet world, this is for you. What's the F**king Point(e)? is for dancers struggling to maintain motivation & consistency through the chaotic demands of adulthood. We chat all things mental health, purpose & more, all through the lens of a wannabe ballerina. ;)
What's the F**king Point(e)?
She Got Her First Pair of Pointe Shoes at 24, Now She’s a Professional Dancer
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What if you didn’t start ballet “on time”, but STILL made it professional?
In this inspiring interview, Raquel Beauchamp shares how she got her first pair of pointe shoes at 24 (!!!) and went on to perform professionally, land lead roles, and dance in productions like The Nutcracker.
From struggling with pirouettes to overcoming imposter syndrome, this is a real story about what it takes to break into the ballet world as an adult beginner.
In this weeks episode we talk about:
- How to start ballet later in life (and still go pro)
- What it really takes to improve your technique fast
- How to overcome comparison and imposter syndrome
- Why “getting in the room” matters more than being perfect
- The mindset shift that changed everything
Whether you’re just starting ballet, returning after years off, or chasing a big goal…this conversation will change how you think about your progress, talent, and timing.
Key takeaway? You don’t need to be ready, you just need to START!
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🩰 HI, I'M VERONICA VACANZA
Hi there! I'm Veronica, welcome to my beginner dance journey. When I was 17, I was told by a teacher that I would never be a ballerina. I let that thought control me for YEARS but now, in my late 20s, I moved to New York City and I'm finally starting ballet late. This is a space for me to document the ups and downs of learning how to do ballet in my now 30s and show the world that it's never too late to live your dreams.
intro
SPEAKER_00Imagine going from never having danced on point before to becoming a paid performer for a professional ballet company. Most people would tell you that this is completely impossible. But my guest today did all of this and more, and she did it at the age of 24 years old. From getting her first pair of point shoes to dancing for American Liberty Ballet and building up a dance photography career as well. Today's guest is going to prove to you that it is never too late to follow your passion. Hello, welcome back to What's the Fing Point. I'm your host, Veronica Bacanza, and today I have something really magical for you. So now that season one of the podcast is officially over, I wanted to send you off with an extra special bonus episode. Just as a way to say thank you for tuning in to the first official season. I can't believe that I have a podcast now that's so exciting. So today you're gonna hear an interview with one of the most inspiring people in the New York City dance space. And I know that you're gonna come away feeling like anything is possible because that's just the kind of person that she is. That's just what she does to all of us. But what makes this even more exciting is that this exclusive interview was previously only available to members of Adult Ballet Academy. But because this story is so incredible, I really, really wanted to share it with you two. And honestly, exclusive interviews are really just a bonus inside the Academy. The real magic is in our six-week Adult Ballet Accelerator curriculum that helps you think, focus, and train smarter so that you make progress faster. Inside that program, you learn things like how to pick up choreography quickly, how to stop spiraling after making mistakes, how to build a personalized training system that works for you even with a busy schedule and so much more. And if you're hearing this and thinking, well, that's great, but I've never taken a ballet class in my life before, we have a whole bonus training program inside the Academy called Ballet Basics. And that's designed to help you brush up on basic technique or learn it totally from scratch. So I'm sharing this with you because the doors to our next semester are opening in just a few days. And this program is only open twice a year, and I'm very, very passionate about it. I know that it's going to be a game changer for your journey. So if this sounds like something you want to be a part of, definitely join the wait list in the description of this episode and make sure that you are first in line as soon as these doors open. But with all of that said, without further ado, let's get into this incredible exclusive interview with Raquel Beauchamp. I have the incredible and lovely Raquel Beauchamp here today. She's absolutely amazing. She has done everything from dance photography, she's actively performing, she is just an incredible resource for you to learn from. So I have her here. She's gonna answer some of your questions. But before we get to that, Raquel, if you could introduce yourself and just give us a little bit of a background on your story. Yes, of course.
Returning to Ballet & first pointe shoes at 24
SPEAKER_01Well, first of all, Veronica, thank you so so much for having me and everyone for your very exciting questions and just interest in my life and my journey. Um, I'm so excited to share it with you guys and to even like hear more about you guys later. Um, I guess I'll start by introducing myself. My name is Raquel Beauchamp. I am originally from San Juan, Puerto Rico. Uh, and I live in New York right now. I originally moved here to go to college, and uh, well, it's so funny. I chose New York originally because I really wanted to dance for Lady Gaga. That was like the goal in life back then. I um I basically grew up uh really training in um in kind of like jazz, uh, hip-hop, tap kind of world. I always took kind of ballet as as like the basics. Like my school always told me, like, you know, you need to take your morning ballet class in order like to pursue everything else, but it was never really seriously like that. So I that was like, I was like, I'm definitely going to New York to to go to school because I want to dance and audition for Lady Gaga, like, period. And my my parents didn't want me to study dance or anything like that. So I I went to school for photography and graphic design. Because I was like, you know, I always felt like I was really artsy, and I was like, well, if I'm not gonna study dance, then like uh what can I do? And my parents were like, oh, you should do like advertising, or and I was like, I guess maybe like graphic design sounds kind of cool. And uh, and like thankfully, uh I got into schools here uh and I ended up going to Marymount, uh, loved it there, and started as graphic design. And then my first year, I took a photography elective, and I just fell in love. I was like, oh my god, no, photography is it. Like I was like, like I will, if I can do both of them, like let's do both of them. So I ended up like doing both and actually in tech like integrating my dance into my photography throughout those years. Um, I it's it's funny, like I also originally chose Marymount because back then they they told me they were like, oh, um, here you can do like a dance minor. So that was kind of like my my way in. I was like, okay, I'm gonna do what my parents want me to do, but also I'm gonna do this like dance minor. But then once I got there, they were like, oh no, yeah, you can't do that. And I was like, oh, good times. So I found other ways. I literally I started working at Broadway Dance Center um and dancing a lot there. That was a lot of fun. I worked at the kiosk, like uh, you know, signing people in. Welcome to New York, get your new card. I loved it there. That was like my first uh dance home here. Um and then eventually I like I was part of like the hip hop club at Marymount. I ended up being like the like I think I was like the secretary or the VP of the of the hip hop club. Like it was so funny um how I really like was trying to integrate it in in all sorts of ways during while still like pursuing the design and photography. And of course, I made a lot of dance friends, and that's how I ended up like kind of mixing dance and photography. And I was like, this is like the new, like the new love. Um, so then I actually decided I was like, oh, I think something, because you know, I started auditioning as well. And I, to be honest, I felt really overwhelmed with the audition process, and I was just like, maybe this isn't for me. Like, I can totally see myself working at a magazine and like doing photo shoots and like or designing. Like, I really didn't exactly know what was going on, but I was like, I could see myself in these other routes of life. Um, hello, my girlfriend who's about to leave. Hello, girlfriend. She's amazing. We met at Merrymount, actually. Oh fun. But um, so anyway, uh, while you know, during that process, I was 18 years old, people. So I was really like, and with no family in New York, like I was just kind of thrown here to the wolves. Um, and it felt like a lot. Um, so ultimately I found other passions, and that's kind of what I started pursuing. I got a job at InStyle, um, and then later at Ad Week, and I ended up building up to being the photo editor, and I like absolutely loved it. I was working with celebrities. Um, and like literally, girl, I worked with like Sarah Paulson, um, Kevin Hart, Issa Ray, like you name it, like um Kimmel. Like we did a photo shoot with him one time, uh, and Serena Williams. Like, there's been a lot of, it was amazing. Like, I really loved it. And but during that time, I was working full-time, like nine to five. Um, and there was something in me that I was I was like two years in deep at this point, and I hadn't really danced. I left Broadway Dance Center, like I was really pursuing this kind of like uh editorial route. Um, but then eventually, like two years in, I'm I'm a baby still, I'm 24 years old, and I was like, I really miss dancing. Like I like maybe there's like a night class that I could go to, and like in in kind of like old-fashioned form, I just went back to ballet. Like, I was like, oh, I just want to take like a ballet class because again, like I always felt like in school, like you needed to start with ballet in order to like build up and continue on to other things. And I also remember those classes at Broadway Dance Center, like they were intense, they were fierce, like so many people. And I wasn't like super ready to do all of that. I was like, I want to try and find like the smallest, like, I don't know, like a random ballet class and just have fun and like just get a you know, just feel like I'm kind of getting back into it because again, I hadn't danced in so long. Um, and I really did miss it. So I ended up finding this group on randomly. And I was like, I texted my cousin who had just like moved to New York, like recently. So I finally also had someone to like do. I mean, I I at this point, you know, I had friends. I actually found a couple friends who were from PR as well. We all met in different times of our lives. Um, but anyway, this is my first family member who like comes to New York and she's living here now. And I'm like, girl, let's go take this ballet class. And she was like, What? Okay, like let's go. It would be so fun, and we can like grab coffee after or before like, you know, this is kind of like cousin bonding time. So she has any dance background now? Oh, no, like yeah, she did it. She was like, she was like, we are going to beginner class, right? And I was like, correct. Like it's gonna be like the easiest. I think maybe she took dance classes growing up, but um, but definitely like she was like beginner, like she was like, please do not get us into craziness. And I was like, no, no, no, I can't deal with craziness right now. Like, girl, this is like after work, post hours. Like, I wanted to be chill and just have fun. Right. So the groupon was actually to the school American Liberty Ballet. Um, and they were, which we will circle back into that because I know um I've been talking about ALB a lot these days. Shout out ALB. But the groupon was for them, and I showed up to class, and it was this tiny little studio with the coolest ballet teacher. Um, he was just so like, he seemed like a real human person, you know, like someone that I could literally be friends with, and it didn't feel like intimidating. The people around me were also just like, hey guys, I just got off from work. Like we're like we were all kind of on the same timeline. A lot of uh also like absolute beginners and kind of also people coming back as well. There was kind of like a mix there. Um, so anyway, the classes were amazing, and that's kind of when I was like, oh my God, like I'm gonna keep taking ballet class for like the rest of my life. Like this is gonna be, this is gonna be great. Um, but nothing, like literally, I still was like living my photo editor life. Like I thought everything was gravy, like, you know, no, no, no major life changes yet. Like, I'm just kind of like going with the flow. Um, and I'm having fun. Like, I'm just having so much fun. And growing up, also, ballet for me at least, like I was never taken seriously as a ballet dancer because you know, mama has big uh big thunder thighs, as I like to call them, and a big booty. Big booty ballerina club. Any, oh yeah, we are part of the big booty ballerina club. Let's get it, let's make that a thing. Hashtag anyway.
SPEAKER_00Do you also find that all leotards give you four butt cheeks?
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Oh girl, yes, until until you find the good ones. Like then it starts leaving the building, and you're like, okay, thank God. Like, I will only wear a four booty leotard if it's like super worth it in the top these days. Like, you know what I'm saying? But like, otherwise, or if it's a hand-me-down and it's like you know, a good brand. We will make exceptions, but no, no, no longer, no longer. But anyway, it really wasn't taken super seriously. And I remember seeing all my friends like uh people, you know, dancing on point. And that was always just something that I admired. I was always like, Oh, you're so cool, like you do point, like I would love to do point, but you know, whatever, big booty problems. And um, just continuing on. Um, and eventually in PR, actually, like just going back real quick, eventually I did have a fabulous teacher who was kind of taking me and another friend of mine very seriously. And we were more like of the different body types, you know. Um, but she was really taking us seriously because we were kind of very clear with our goals and like uh and we went every like every Saturday, like we would be there, like um, but then eventually, like I did move to New York, and when I went back to PR, she had passed away. So I feel like I never like I just I in that moment I was like, well, I missed my chance. Like I was like, that was it. That was like the last, like it's never gonna happen now, was like my thinking. But then fast forward, um, having this really positive experience with like my my classes at ALB in the very beginning. I eventually met the director, like I think she taught one of the classes, and I expressed to her, like I just walked up to her and was like, you know, like this is super random. I might be too old, but I would love to um like try it, you know, going on point. Like it would be just so cool, like a lifelong goal of mine. And I told her my story, and she was like, Oh my god, yeah, like girl, absolutely. Let's do the like let's let's like assess you right now. And I was like, Oh, oh my god, like heart palpitations.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, yes, okay. So just to clarify, you had never tried point before. Did you have to do that? Yes, exactly. So you're never tried point. You're 24 years old, just starting out on point, you're getting your very first assessment for the first time ever.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for the first time ever. Like I had never even like been looked on to go on point. Like again, my teacher was kind of taking it seriously, like when I was kind of like a a a young teen, uh, or I guess a later teen as well, because like my friend would like drive us there. So I guess I had like what 15, 16, I don't know. Um, and we would like go to class every like once a week, and it was like that moment with our teacher, but we never like she talked about okay, in the future we could look at the point situation, but we never did assessments, never tried on point shoes. Like, I think honestly, my only point shoe experience up to this point was my cousin, my other cousin, actually, different cousin. Um cousins. Yeah, I know lots of cousins, but different cousin, she was actually a ballerina when she when she was a baby. Oh, like well, I guess early teens as well. And she lived in Miami. Like I always lived in PR, and this cousin of mine lived in Miami. Um, and when I would go visit her, like she would have a point shoe closet, and I would just be like, Oh my god, like I'm gonna grab my water bottle. I might make my water. I'd be like, oh my God, this is like point shoes. This is what they feel like. This is so cool. And she would be like, Oh yeah, like here, this is what it looks like. And she'll put it on herself. And I'd be like, oh my God, can I can I try it on? Like, is that allowed? Like, is that legal? And like I pop probably like tried it on and like, you know, did my little knuckling moment and it was like, yay, I did it. And but that was that was it, friends. Like, literally, like at 24 was like the first first time ever.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay, so you're 24, you get this assessment, you and I I guess your teacher assesses that you're ready to start training on well, actually, no.
SPEAKER_01Oh, my teacher was like, Okay, great, you're not ready yet, but we are going to get you ready to get there. She like she had told me that I wasn't strong enough yet. Like my ankles uh weren't ready to like just go on point. And I also didn't have as much ankle flexibility, but for her concern, it was mostly like strength, from what she told me. Um, so I was like, okay, so no problem. Like, what what do we do next? And she was like, Well, you know, we offer these pre-point point classes, it's kind of like a hybrid where it's you know, beginner point. There will be some girls doing very beginner point, but then the rest of the class is like on flat shoes doing these point exercises and kind of going through the motions of like, what is point? Like, you know, like how how does it work? What is it? How do you use your shoes? How do you use your feet? How to kind of like just literally start from the ground up. So I started those pre-point classes on flat. Um, and I think I did them for probably like six months, I want to say. Like I was, I was a while like taking the pre-point classes until my teacher was like, okay, like let's do. I think we did like another assessment, and she was like, Okay, I think we're ready. Um, when do you want to go to block? And that like I was like, I was like, girl, what?
SPEAKER_00We're going where? How long would you say from the the time that she said, okay, you're not ready yet, but we're gonna get you ready. What was that journey like?
SPEAKER_01It was like six months, I feel like, give or take. Um, and then by the end of like that year, like I think it was like by the end of the year, like maybe November, August, like that's when we went to block and like we did the fitting. And that was my first fitting on point ever. Like, literally ever. Magical. First time that these points were like, you know, they're not my cousin, so they're not used up, sewn, like, right, but it's like they're brand new. I need to try them on, and they're basically like cut the Cinderella moment. Like they're like, it's made for me, and all these things. Um, and she helped me, like, she came with me uh to my point two fitting, and um, and that was so fun. Like, I remember I had the point-toe fitter, and then my my teacher who is like who is the director of the company. Um, and then we had and we picked out like some shoes, and I remember I ended up with uh with the Morella blocks. They were very hard shoes. Like now thinking back, I'm like, why didn't I start off with those shoes? Like I think they fit my feet really nicely, but they were really, really hard. Like I will never forget that.
SPEAKER_00Um, I'm sure they build your strength big time because when they're so hard at first, for those of you who haven't gone on point yet, it's a very interesting feeling at first because it's kind of like strapping these little cinder blocks to your feet. That is the best way to describe it.
SPEAKER_01They just feel so foreign. Like that's how I felt at least. Like, I was like, like, is like this is just uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_00Like, this is just the way we live life now. When you first put them on, you're like, okay, I've trained so hard to get to this point. Now I have this completely foreign feeling on my feet. And it feels like you're starting from scratch. And it you really have this of like, how am I ever going to be able to dance realistically on these? Like I feel like a baby deer, but again, exactly. I just I want to take a moment for for you guys listening as part of the community, really listen to what Raquel is saying because she has overcome so much. First of all, she moved to a brand new city. Okay, she's never done this before. She's had to struggle with the body image issue, she's had to struggle with the feelings of being too late, the imposter syndrome, the feeling of oh, absolutely, this is so foreign. We'll get into imposter syndrome too. Yes, please. But you know, just really take a listen to what she's saying and internalize this because if she can do this, there is so much hope for you guys too. So go go ahead. I just run that point home.
SPEAKER_01Like Veronica, I always um like I told you before this interview, I'll share with everyone that I feel like I know you already from the like I this is our first time kind of speaking in person. Um, but just the way that you um, for lack of a better word, like express yourself, use your words. Like I feel so seen. Like I'm like, wow, she gets it. Like I'm just I really admire that about you because I'm not as as great with my words and I like stumble a little bit and like whatnot, but you're so good. Like it makes me excited. It's a love fest.
SPEAKER_00It's a love.
SPEAKER_01Um, but yeah, oh my god, where where were we? So you're getting your first point shoes ever. Oh yeah, they feel terrible, like absolutely they were bad. Like, guys, this wasn't pretty, like to be on. And I have I have uh receipts, like I have photos that we could pop here. Can you pop in photos here? I can edit out. It was so difficult. Like, I also felt that same way that you just described. Like, how am I realistically, how is this realistically gonna work? Because on Flat, I always thought, like, not that I like was perfect by any means. I also started how I like to call it very green. Like, I was very um, it was very raw um in the way like when I started. I've definitely seen my technique improve on flat on point on everything, but like just starting as let like because I did have ballet background, but like even with that, I've seen my growth like it, you know, I feel like I've really taken my dancing to another level from from that. Um, so it's also kind of important to to like like focus on your flat work. Um, so anyways, I like just saying with that said, I always felt like, oh, like I'm so great at ballet on flat. Like I was like, like, like this is amazing. And then I felt like the point shoes just destroyed all my sparkle. Like, literally, like whatever confidence I had on flat was just gone. Gone, gone. It was as if I never did ballet in my life. Might as well not. Like, honestly, just might as well not, because it was a whole different, a different way of feeling, you know, your feet, the floor, how you point your your foot, like it, it even standing, even just standing, like you look like you're and you're like, you're like a kind of like a little penguin, like wobbling everywhere, like you know like you're standing on canoes, like you're exactly. No, literally, like thinking on flat, like, oh yeah, I can lift, I can do arabesque or like lift my leg on point no longer, like you know, no longer, like, period. So it was just literally going back to the bar and just going back to basics, like just learning how to plie. Even plie's felt different because like the way that your feet sink into the shoes, and like, or or you know, depending how how your foot is, if it's like if it compresses or if it kind of like stretches and opens up, like I feel like everything just changes. So, um, so it's like it's um, it takes time to kind of get get through that beginning of like that foreign feeling of the point shoe. Like, I don't think it was until like let's say I got my like let's say I started like these beginner classes were around 2018. Um, I think I got my like my shoes, I got them 2017. So I probably started already like by the end of 2017. Let's say like no I did like two months of my beginner points. Um, so 2018 is when we like kind of really into it. Um, and like I don't think it was until after the pandemic that I started kind of like feeling a little bit more comfortable, like on even like just oh, you know what? I'm going to try and like do this center on point. Like so it took it definitely took some time to like feel confident. I have this one like particular post ingrained in my brain because recently I did this whole like kind of looking back at my journey because I started dancing with ALB again, which I also need to go back to that. We'll get there. Yeah, yeah. But recently I went back through my posts and there was this one in 2020 where I was uh we were just I guess getting back into the studios, and it was like my main goal of that year was to just feel comfortable doing center on point, like feel a little bit more confident because I could I started to do things, but I felt like exact just imposter syndrome out the wazoo, like because in in steps, you know, everybody's already like they already know what they're doing, or like or you think they are. Not everybody knows what they're doing. We're all here winging it. We're all here winging it.
SPEAKER_00For those of you, for those of you who are not New Yorkers, steps is one of the biggest ballet schools in New York City. It can be a little bit intimidating, it's a great place to learn from if you're ever here, but um, it can be intimidating even for professional ballerinas.
Leaving corporate to pursue dance
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, very for everyone. Like it for everyone. Um, again, everybody like people from around the world come to this place. Like it's so iconic that like some people like travel just to come here and take a class with like ex-teacher, and like um, so it's very so yes, steps is super iconic. Um, and then classes get super full. Um, so that's something that was something in 2020 that I was like, okay, I want to try and like get into steps. Like, okay, I was already getting, I was already kind of like, you know, dipping my toes into some classes here and there because I had friends who really pushed me. They were like, no, come take Heather's class. And I was like, girl, you don't want to see me in Heather's class. And they were like, no, no, no, you have to come. And I'm like, fine, okay, but I'm like definitely not putting on point shoes. Like, like I'll do flat work and I'll be like my cute little flat girly self. It's fine. And then eventually, like, uh, I feel like they again that this group, like, they really helped me kind of challenge myself. So I started going to steps here and there, and I really started enjoying it because ultimately I had like my little uh my little group, like I would never really go alone uh like that. Um, so that was really nice. But then eventually in 2020, I was like, I just wanna, I just wanna go and like and just see what happens and like maybe I can try point because that's the thing. Like, I almost felt like going by myself, I am free to try and fail. Like, you know, like with my friends, they were super supportive, and trust me, I failed in front of them 510 times but and more. But but like, you know, when you're really trying to find yourself and figure yourself out and like just uh get around these like I don't know, like uncomfortable moments. Like I I personally was like, I need exactly like I need to work on me and like not have like my friend over here, like yay, like loosing my ego, or whatever that looks like, or or even like I had some friends who were correcting me, and that's fine. Like, and I was grateful because they were professional. So I was just like, Yeah, please girl, tell me. I'm one of those, like, please tell me. I'm like, please tell me that I'm turned in, like, or please tell me that I'm sickling, like whatever that looks like. So I was always super into that, but um, but still sometimes, you know, you want to like, okay, now I just want to like try and be a baby bird, like and and grow my wings and like do my own thing and just see what happens. Like, if I fail, I fail, and like if I, you know, whatever. It just doesn't really matter. Um, so I did start kind of going by myself here and there, and I started doing uh like point and center here and there, and um, and like all even these friends who I'm like talking about, they even like kind of were it was again the pandemic, they were choreographing a lot and they were kind of throwing me into their choreography. So I was starting, I think because like they pushed me and they were also like throwing me into choreography, I kind of started getting a little bit more confident and just like wearing the shoes. Um, but like really, I feel like stepping outside of my comfort zone and like taking those classes and saying, okay, today I'm gonna put them on and like and we're just gonna try and like and build our confidence. Like, I feel like all throughout that year, like that 2020, 2021 year, that was really like building like that confidence and like saying, Oh, okay, I I can actually do a couple things. So what else can I do now? And now what else? And now now I'm achieving some relevaes and now I'm doing them in center. So how about ballonnays now? Or how about like single pirouettes? Like, I don't know, you know, like just just very baby steps, kind of like um kept challenging myself by by going to those classes. And I would also take beginner classes at steps because I felt like um they would help me with like my point work and even just like the surroundings of like who's around you when you're taking really advanced classes, it's kind of already expected that yeah, like the the level is like peak high. So I I wanted again something a little bit, you know, nice for my heart and my soul. Uh so I would take the 9 a.m. class, like beginner, um, with the ladies that I loved so much.
SPEAKER_00I love your your story overall and just your thought process throughout your story, not even just in terms of your ballet level, but your ability, and I think this is such a huge part of your success, your ability to break things down step by step and not overwhelm yourself with your expectations. Like, okay, hey, I'm not expecting to be on point tomorrow, but how do we get me there? That was such a great place to start with a trusted teacher. How do we get me there? Okay, now she feels that you're ready. Okay, now my goal is to just get comfortable at all on these things. Yeah. Now my next goal is okay, can I move to center? Now my next goal is okay, I started doing some releves and balletes. What else can I do? So's ability for those of you listening to, you know, just start with the end in mind, but she's very willing to take each rung of the ladder up there without overwhelming herself. It's just, it's brilliant. I think that's a huge part of why you're as successful as you are now. Thank you, girl.
SPEAKER_01I feel like, um, I feel like it's definitely like helped. And even going back to what you just said, like, I feel like even in the beginning of my journey, I like there wasn't even like an end goal. Like, you know, it was more like, yes, the end goal was I want to get on point. Like, that is the end goal, actually. Like, I guess what I had in my brain. But like, then it was just like, oh, you know, you keep finding new goals. That's the thing. That you're like, okay, that's something so beautiful about this that I've I found like there's always new goals. Like, my first goal, okay, I want to get back into ballet. And then, okay, what if I do point? Like, who's gonna kill me? I don't know. It's been a lifelong dream. Why not try? And then we're trying. Okay, what if we like try a different school or like maybe try other things or try these new steps? And then you kind of keep coming up with new goals. Like eventually, after something I still haven't touched on, um, but uh that I feel is so important in my journey too, is that like um in the beginning when I was when I was like working full time, like again, I started with like kind of this is gonna be my hobby. I I love my job, like it's gonna be great. And then eventually, my new goal was I think I want to quit my job in order to pursue ballet. Like, wow. So that started to be a new goal. That is something that I talked to my girlfriend about. Um, because we've we've been together forever, she has seen it all. Um, and um, and I remember telling her, like, I'm working nine to five. Sometimes this company would make me like photograph events as well. Cause I'm still a photographer, like we're kind of doing it all. Um, so I would work technically until like even later in the day. And the days that I didn't have like these events that I needed to shoot, I would take class, get home at like 11 because we're out, we're now taking pre-point and technique class. So it's not just like one class and out. We're taking two classes a night, like it's kind of building up to different things. Um, and then eventually the director of the something really exciting, kind of even before I started dancing on point. Um, I think it was during the assessment period, um, she actually offered me an apprenticeship with the company. Cause I was um, because I guess like she really saw something in me um during, because I was training with her, you know, and she was like, you know, I know you can't. And I was like, girl, like what? How is this even possible if I can't even dance on point? And she was like, you know, I know, I know. Um, and like, you know, tell me if you're not ready or whatnot, like whatever you want to do. But just so you know, uh, you can come in and we can have you perform and do these different roles that are kind of not on point while we build you to point. And I was like, oh my God, like this is like lit the dream, like something that again, like I just didn't even know this was like possible, like uh, you know, at all, like in in the world, because of the way that like our brains are trained with like all this ballet stuff. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, so I really saw kind of like a new, a whole new light, and I was like, wow, um, absolutely. Like, I took the apprenticeship position. So now I'm rehearsing uh in New Jersey on Saturdays, and like kind of like my only day off is kind of like a Sunday, and maybe like there's other things. So my girlfriend was kind of like, girl, I never see you. Like, what are you gonna do? Like, this is it's not working. Like, like I get it that it's all really exciting, but it's like it's not working. Um, so that's when I was like, when I was kind of like prioritizing my life and looking at it from the overall view, something that I always felt was like, you know, I have thought about it. Like sometimes I'm working on the call sheets and like hiring the photographer, hiring the stylist, hiring the talent and all these things. And sometimes I'm like, I want to be the person, like I want to be the photographer to be called onto the suit instead of me looking for the photographer. So I was like, what if I quit my job and just literally like actually focus on on photography and ballet? And like again, ballet at this point, it's not like it's gonna bring me money, but it's more like I want to keep pursuing it seriously, like I want to take it seriously because someone is it like just offered me an apprenticeship. So like I really want to take this seriously, and like maybe I need to teach along the way, and maybe I need to do you know, photo shoots and whatnot. So that's kind of when I start, I was like, okay, we're gonna be like an entrepreneur and like we're gonna leave this corporate world and we're gonna do our photo business, and then we're just gonna keep pursuing ballet no matter the cost, and with like no crazy expectations, just kind of like this is something for me that I just need to do right now because ultimately now is when I'm 24 years old. I will never be 24 again, and I can always come back to corporate world like when I'm 40 or like beyond, or maybe never if everything goes well. Like, but ultimately I felt like it was kind of like, oh, I'm not really losing anything. Like, yes, I loved it, but like I can see myself just pursuing other things, and also if if all like if everything burns, I could always come back.
SPEAKER_00Well, and the power of your story as well is the fact that to your earlier point in saying, Oh, I I just the ways that we've been trained in ballet to think that none of this was ever even possible, your mind is starting to open up, not just in terms of what's possible for you in ballet, but look how this opened up your whole world. Now is exactly what if I could be a creative entrepreneur? What if I could follow my my dreams of photography? What if I could follow my dreams of ballet? And what I always like to say to my community is we have to stop thinking in such black and white terms. What most people ignore is the messy middle. There are so many unconventional paths to following ballet or following any other creative dream that you might have. But most people think, well, if I'm not going to be an Olympic level runner or if I'm not going to be a principal dancer of American ballet theater or this, that, and the third, then there's just no point. But you are willing to try so many different things and play in the messy middle where most people just won't go. And like, I can tell you, it's it's wide open field there because most people never get to that point. And it's it's beautiful, it's extremely inspiring. Um, and I think that there is such a power to your story in that way.
Auditions, Intensives & Breaking Into the Industry
SPEAKER_01I feel like it's so important to get into that the middle, like that nitty-gritty, muddy part where we're we don't really know exactly like where life is gonna take us, but like, you know, you want something like more for yourself, and you're just like willing to challenge yourself and just see if it's possible because ultimately, like, how will you know if you don't try? Like, you know, I feel like a lot of people do get um maybe overwhelmed by the traditional ballet uh career or or just like journey in general, like you don't need to make a career out of it, but even just the fact that some people really are like, oh no, it's too late to like even dance, it's like, you know, how will you know if you don't if you don't try? Um so I was definitely really looking forward to that. Like, cause I that uh when I was so happy, like, okay, yes, I'm doing I'm doing the photo editor thing, and now I like I'm so so excited about tackling this new dance opportunity that I again never thought was possible. It's like when when you search, like when you find those opportunities, I feel like it's definitely worth like just taking a step back and getting a little uncomfortable because it's like okay, yes, I could take the comfortable way out and just like continue to maybe not have a balanced life or or like you know pursue it all. And but you know, something is something's gotta give. Like I felt like back then, like it was either it was like, okay, I keep doing all these things and like maybe have like a a a rocky relationship at home or like or just like I don't know. And ultimately I was just like, that's I feel like what I'm willing to sacrifice is the is the nine to five because I was ultimately like uh it was it was too much. Like even being in in the office all day, like I felt like there was so much like I can do so many things in this like downtime or or or like I don't know, like or also in addition to all these things, like having to photograph these other things, like so many of these requirements, um, which also I feel like have changed a lot throughout the pandemic. Like with the pandemic, now I feel like a lot of people are more flexible with their schedules and like they can go into the office once a week. So I feel like who knows if maybe that would have been the case. Like maybe I would have never quit. But those were kind of like my circumstances, so that's why I was just like, you know, I'm willing to sacrifice this and just build two things from the ground up. Um, and again, I was really lucky to have my girlfriend who really like supported me. And she was like, you know what? Like, yes, like do it. It's gonna be crazy. We're probably gonna be broke, but I'm gonna go make ends meet. And she would work like her freaking butt off and kind of like really sustain us. Um, and then you know, eventually now it's like uh now we're you know, we're kind of like in the even playing field and it's all amazing, you know, I feel like we're in a really good place, knock on wood. Um but it definitely takes time and and sacrifice and kind of like just taking a broader look at what you want to do because ultimately, like something's gotta give, whether it's like uh the the the stable job or at home situations, because you also have personal life, like it's not just ballet and and work at all times, like you know, you want to go see your family, and like my family doesn't live in New York, so that's even like other things. Like, I I have to travel to Puerto Rico or to the Dominican Republic. My grandparents retired there, so I go there a lot as well. But um, but anyway, like you know, something's always gotta give. So that's that was my kind of like, you know what? I'm willing to sacrifice this. And if all goes and burns, like we can always go back and find another one of these.
SPEAKER_00Um that is the unique um side to starting ballet as an adult or just being an adult in ballet, whether you're starting for the first time or you're returning after many years, it's different now because when you're younger, you really can just focus all of your efforts on learning and growing your skills and all of these things. But once you become an adult, now all of a sudden, okay, well, I'm trying to pursue my dreams while also making sure that I pay rent and also making sure that, yes, I make time for my family and my friends who I'm not necessarily seeing every single day at school. Or, you know, yeah, yeah. There's all these other balls to juggle now as an adult. And so that's why it's very commendable to hear that you have been able to figure out all these different creative ways and just your determination and your never giving up spirit. I I think that's such a huge takeaway for everyone listening because uh it's it really comes down to that sometimes, where there's a will, where the there's a way. And it's not necessarily, you know, okay, I'm gonna go drop everything all at once. You were you slowly worked up to that and you got to a place where you felt like, okay, maybe I'm finally willing to take this risk and this chance.
SPEAKER_01Um and I because it wasn't from like morning, you know, it wasn't from like day to night thing that I was like, okay, we're quitting my job. Like it was just like, okay, what if we think about this and like and like steps to kind of get there exactly? What would that even look like? And how how would we make it work if like if that's the reality?
SPEAKER_00Right. And we did actually, this brings me to a question from the community. Um, one of our community members, Marissa, specifically asked, how did you approach going pro as a late bloomer? And how did you know that you were ready to go pro? So now just to clarify, you were dancing as a freelance ballet dancer for a while, right? And now you have you evolved beyond that or yeah, so uh let's let's actually go into um this uh the story that I kind of wanted to tell.
SPEAKER_01With with ALB ultimately. So I did, I started as an apprentice as an apprentice there. And that was kind of like the life-changing moment. That's where we're at right now. Or like in the story. So once I was, I was in there, I quit my job. I'm now literally doing my photography and ALB. Like that's kind of what I'm literally what I'm doing. And I'm teaching for ALB uh online classes. I also was doing what I told you, like the after school program. I taught uh also just kids' classes in Jersey, uh a bunch of different things. Like I was juggling teaching and all these things, and I got the ABT certification during this time too, which was really exciting. And then eventually, so then kind of like around uh 2021, I started auditioning. Like I was like, you know what? Like, I'm just gonna try. Like, why not? Because I had friends who were like also auditioning for things, and and to me that was really inspiring. So I was just like, oh, you know, why not? I had this one friend who was like, uh, there's this nutcracker that I've done before, and I think you would really like it, and I think they would like you. And I was like, oh my god, like seriously, like somebody like outside of like my little world, like just now I gotta go audition. Like, wait, what? And now, and the and the types of things that you were auditioning for are these like local theaters, community theaters, are these larger um um anything and everything kind of so I was before my friend kind of told me about this nutcracker, I was kind of fast-forwarding, but like I started kind of looking for small auditions, like very um, there's this website on NYC, if anybody is in NYC. Um, it's called dance.nyc. And they post a bunch of auditions there from small companies to bigger companies to just independent artists looking for dancers, or even photographers looking for dancers, even dancers looking for photographers. It's kind of like a artist community hub over there.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01Um, so I was going into that website like almost every day because I there was there were these small auditions that I was like, you know, even if I don't get in, I feel like it's a free class and I can get something from the experience. And I'm just kind of making again, kind of making myself uncomfortable because I wanted to just see my last experience with auditions as we go way back to the beginning of this interview. It wasn't that positive. Like I felt very overwhelmed and like I was just not ready for that. And I was willing to give up Lady Gaga just because I didn't want to go through the audition. Like, you know what I'm saying. Sorry, Lady Gaga. If you want me, I'm still here. Lady Gaga, I'm still here, don't worry. We'll do point. But anyway, like I still like this time, I'm kind of approaching it, it approaching it differently. Um, I'm a little older, like I just I I'm not afraid anymore. I'm just like, oh, if somebody thinks I'm I'm not good, then I'm not good. It's fine. Like, or it maybe it doesn't even mean that I'm not good. I'm just like, that's I'm not what they're looking for. Like I I stopped taking things personally. I feel like I always took things personally, and as soon as I kind of let that go, I just was my soul was was liberated. Like I'm just okay, it's not about me. Like, and and there's always something to learn. Like, oh, maybe you made this mistake in the audition that you could have done better. Um, you know, maybe you approach this step in this way, and and you think back and you're like, you know, kind of fixing yourself. So I feel like every experience ultimately was like a learning experience. And if I got it, then that was just like the cherry on top. Um, but mind you, I I I didn't get anything. Like I was kind of like thinking, I'm like, did I get something? No, I didn't. I didn't get anything. Um, I but I was putting myself out there and I was even doing um contemporary auditions too because I had like also kind of like my hip hop background. So I was just like trying different things because I just wanted to kind of move my body and uh and again putting myself in these uncomfortable situations, and like you know, I particularly remember this contemporary audition that that was my last contemporary audition because I was like, I don't want to pursue contemporary, so like why I learned something about myself. I was like, oh, I'm so happy that I came. I'm so glad that I danced for for these people. It was good vibes, but ultimately I'm never gonna do this again because I know that I want to continue ballet. Like, and if even if I get hired, I want to be doing ballet, like I don't want to commit all this time to like something else. Yeah. So again, like you you keep learning, you keep learning about yourself, and like also uh part of this journey is kind of you know, testing your limits and getting uncomfortable and learning about yourself, your body, uh, and and everything. So now kind of okay, we've we've been auditioning, we've been dipping our toes in all these things, exciting. Um, and I have this one friend who was like, you know, I think this company would like you should audition. And this was like ballet, ballet core. So I was nervous. I was nervous because in the audition, there was point work, there is, you know, there's everything that you can expect. I had gone to a couple ballet auditions already as well. Um, something mixed in that I also would just want to throw in as a quick shout out for beginner dancers is that during this time I also signed up for intensives. Like, I feel like it's so important to merge yourself in the community that you want to be in. Um, and like, yes, you will get like maybe imposter syndrome. I definitely didn't being with like a bunch of teenagers and like just people who were in their prime as like, you know, what what we think of. Um, but for me, I learned so much during that time, like that like because even auditioning um for for the intensives, I actually did have to audition. So I will say that my first audition that I nailed was just to get into an intensive, and it's not that I nailed it, I'm just saying it because I got in. Like, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00You're not that I'm not sure successful audition where you got the part, right?
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Like the day that I got the part was the day that I was offered to to attend this intensive, and I was like, oh my god, exactly. I'm like, I got accepted into like um, it was actually complexions, so I was super excited. Like, Complexions is um is very well known in New York, and they're just their dancers are stunning, they are athletes, like they are flexible, they are everything, like they are just like so strong and beautiful dancers, and the choreography is very intricate, but so fun. Um, it's more kind of uh almost like a contemporary ballet vibe. Like it's not super, it's not classical. Um, but that's something that I wanted to dive into because again, of my background. Like I was more of a hip-hop dancer, jazz dancer. Um, and I was like, oh, what if we start melding the two? Like, you know, I'm starting to kind of feel comfortable in point shoes. So why not we start kind of moving and grooving in different ways? That's not that maybe my body will like again, I'm learning about myself. Like I'm a new dancer at this point, I'm not 13 years old anymore. Like, you know, um, so I'm I'm learning about myself at at this point. I'm like, I think I'm uh 26, like around that age, uh 27. Um, and then uh so I did a couple intensives with complexions. I got into their I auditioned a couple times. Like I got into the winter intensive, there was a summer intensive, and these are like two weeks where you're like literally just going in there every single day and doing rep class, like you're that you're in there and you're with like the same group of people all the time, which can also kind of be intimidating because it's like that same amazing girl that you saw yesterday and gonna have to deal with her today and see her amazing legs again. Like, you know, but that that pushes you, like you're like, oh my god, I want my legs to look like that. Like that pushes you to like just like keep keep learning and keep like put testing your limits. Um, and then eventually I was like, you know what? I want to audition for their pre-pro program because I had already taken a couple intensives, and again, I just wanted to like keep challenging myself, and I needed to audition for this as well. And I auditioned and I I actually got in. I didn't think I was gonna get into this one because this program is is really prestigious and it's a month long and it's expensive, it's like all these things, like and it like only a handful of people get into it. Um, so the fact that I got into it at like I think I was 28 at this at this point. Um, I was like, okay, oh my god, like um we're doing it. Like, and this was again like another conversation that I had to have, like with my girlfriend, my family, because it was like, how now it's like a month of I can't even dedicate my life to photography because it's like I need to be training with these people for 24-7. Um, so I can't really have any other, you know, other than like sleep is in the schedule, but like that's pretty much it. And like you have to eat.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yes, very important to eat. And and was this um, did they give you any kind of like stipend or is this all like a volunteer? Oh no, this is like you pay to be there. Oh, yeah, yeah. You pay to be there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so so you have to get accepted. That's like the that's the only thing. Like you have to audition and only a handful of people get accepted. And I think like how many people how I mean the program, we all fit in one studio. So it was like probably at the max 30 of us.
SPEAKER_00Like maybe um this is such a special opportunity.
SPEAKER_01This is a really exactly this is like when you when you're like uh when you're like, I don't know, 13 and you get into like ADT school. Like to me, that was me at like 28. I was like, oh my god, I got into like the complexions like pre-pro uh program, like it's like their academy. And like I get to learn from you know, old company members, the actual directors, the artistic directors, the rehearsal directors, like literally just like this is you know, this is just a very uh cool and important opportunity that I really want it to take. Because again, like not everybody gets accepted.
SPEAKER_00So once this is kind of like um an investment for you in your because you know now this is what you want and you're paying to be a part of it, but you know that ultimately this is going to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You're gonna do whatever you can to make this work. Exactly.
First Professional Roles & Growth on Stage
SPEAKER_01Like, exactly. Exactly how you said it. Like this was once in a lifetime, and it's like, I'm probably not gonna get accepted again. Like, what's the age limit of this? I think the age limit was 30, to be honest. Yeah, you did it. Um, so it was like, you know, I was like, oh my god, I'm like, so close. Like, if I could do this, like that would just take my training to another level. Um, and it was so scary because I was again just kind of getting comfortable in point shoes. So this program really forced me to like, we are out here, we are doing it. Like, let's go. And then that I was I was probably the oldest girl there, but it was fine. I actually actually made um a lot of friends there. Um, and one of them in particular is like still one of my best friends to this day. Um and we still talk about that. Like, it's so funny how how you like meet people in these like uncomfortable situations, and like um, but yeah, um, and I've even it's like so funny. Like, I've even had uh met one of my closest friends I met at an audition. Like it's like you just never know.
SPEAKER_00Like um what happens. Hey, even if you don't land the audition, sometimes you land a best friend.
SPEAKER_01You land a best friend, like honestly, like it's so funny. Two of my dance besties, like one of them I met at an audition, and the other one I met in this program. Oh the classical audition where I was like, okay, I then like this is this audition is like legit. Like, I need to actually dance ballet in front of a group of people and like with point shoes and everything. Um, and I did this audition and I actually got in. And I was like, that was the first, that was the first um time that I got like a ballet audition, like outside of like it's like to dance, like it's not to train, it's to dance. Um, and that was in 2021. And so, and that was the year that I was like, okay, so now this company actually kind of conflicts with my ALB schedule because I was kind of still growing at ALB at this point. I kind of grew to be in the core at ALB, so I was doing a lot of core work over there and get still growing. Um, but because this was somebody else, it felt like a big moment. So I talked to ALB and I was just like, I think I am going to take this opportunity. Like, I don't even think I am going to take this opportunity because this is something that I just never thought again, like would be possible in my lifetime. So I want to take advantage of it. And this just means that, like, unfortunately, I like won't be able to do not cracker over here. But um, but just so you know, like I still love you, like I'm still here, we can still teach, like we can still do things. Um, but I really like I have to kind of like spread my wings. Um, and it just felt like so important. Um, and it was like I I like I, you know, that was the first time that I did something professional again, like kind of outside of my home, like my comfort zone where I was training, where they found me as like baby bird, my groupon. Like, you know. Um so it was so cool. And like, and now I'm going to rehearsals with other professionals. Um, and and I'm in flowers rehearsal and I'm in snow rehearsal, and just everything was just like uh the you got to be part of the waltz of the flowers and get get to be part of snow. And then I even got like an extra surprise role, which I never again like I couldn't I couldn't even believe that I was in that room already. Like just that I got the email that you welcome. Like, I couldn't even believe that. But they also casted me um in Chinese. I was like, Chin, our Chinese um has three people, and it's like one Chinese and then two girls on the side. Okay, and I was one of the two girls on the side. Wow! And oh my god, girl, let me tell you, this was the year where my pirouettes just had to get good because in this choreography, there was like 500 pirouettes, and they were all doubles. And I was just like, well, we're just gonna have to practice pirouettes for like the rest of our life now. So that's kind of like that was something that I was super focusing on that year because I'm like, well, they saw something in me, and clearly they think I can do pirouettes, so we're just gonna like practice pirouettes every day, like so. Yeah, and that that year I really was like um taken aback. Like, I that was an important year for me. Um, because again, like I'm I'm kind of out in the world and I just auditioned for this and I got in, like, I didn't know anybody in there, you know. Other than like, um, and actually, my friend, I don't think was she in that audition? I'm like the girl that told me about the audition. I can't even remember if she went or not.
SPEAKER_00Um, I think she did end up going, but anyway, point being that I don't know anybody, you know, like I'm just literally showing up because my friend told me to show up and like Well, you're very good at when life presents you an opportunity, you're very good at saying, yes, and we'll figure it out later. Yeah, exactly. No, girl, that's pretty good. All right, we'll figure it out.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I'm like, that's a tomorrow problem. Today, today we celebrate that you saw your name in the cast list. Yes. Tomorrow we will cry about the pirouettes, and not and like we'll cry only for like three minutes, and then we have to continue and practice because they gotta get done. We gotta get done. And the pirouettes got done, honey. Like, I was really excited. Not that they were all perfectly perfect in all three shows, but like I was so proud of myself. Like, there were so many, there were hops on point in this dance. Oh, there was that was literally everything. Like this dance, it was it was intense, and I was like, wow, that's so cool that like somebody like is pushing me and seeing me in this light. Um, and yeah, and then after that, uh the following year, I actually got cast um as lead Spanish, which was uh another big like crying moment for me, like with that same company because I remember when I danced for that company for the first time. Um, I I I don't know why. Like, I saw the Spanish girl and I was just like obsessed with her. Like I was like, oh my god, this Spanish girl like her costume is amazing, she looks stunning. I was like, I want to be that ballerina one day. Like I was like, that's gonna be me one day. Like, I don't know when, but that's gonna be me one day. And literally next year, I actually got it and I was just like, this is not real life. Like, I was like, okay, I can die now. Like, I was like, I've made it, I've made it, I can die. I was like, it's fine.
SPEAKER_00But you didn't stop there.
SPEAKER_01But no, you didn't stop there.
SPEAKER_00So no, just continue. These are all freelance gigs that you have auditioned for, or someone has kind of you know given you the tip off of like, hey, try this.
SPEAKER_01Hey, you should try this company and like actually going for it. And throughout this time, another kind of just in between because nutcracker is not happening all the time. Yeah. Um, but I also, you know, that nutcracker season was very exciting and I did it and whatnot. So now what? Now we have to audition for other things. So I kept auditioning and I got into this other company. Um, that was really cool. We did a bunch of, I feel like I also grew up a lot with them, um, because I did, I mean, lots of core work, which was very difficult as well. Like, not just like standing in the background, like it was a lot of dancing. Meaning that you're dancing in the core of the ballet.
SPEAKER_00Yes, exactly. Yes, yes, yes. Mm-hmm. And then for my baby beginners who do. Oh, yeah, sorry, baby beginners.
SPEAKER_01The core, yeah. The the core is the core de ballet, kind of like uh, so in Swan Lake, when you see the principal ballerina uh dancing, and then you see kind of like the swans on the side. So that's like the core de ballet. So that's why I'm kind of referring to we're not just standing there, it's like a lot of choreography. It's kind of like sleeping beauty vibes where the core is like dancing, like yeah, there's a lot of uh intricate things involved. Um, and one of the first ones I did, I think, well, I did a couple with them, but we did Copelia, and that one was so cool and and like very intricate as well. And I feel like I grew up so much, and then I had the opportunity to understudy one of the leads uh and that lead role was like also a hundred pirouettes. Like, I don't know why people are giving me pirouettes when I can't pirouette, but it's like I'm like, we're just gonna have to keep practicing the pirouettes anyway. But um, and I actually uh got to perform it in one of the nights, and that was so cool. I was like, oh my god, like I got this like a soloist role, and it was just me with um girls, like uh it was uh uh like teenage baby girls dancing next to me. Oh and it was so cool. Um, so again, just like I didn't know that was possible, but just like because I'm throwing myself in the auditions and like you just you know, you have to try because you just never know. Like, I think if I would have just looked at it from I don't know, from over here, like back, I I would have been like, oh yeah, no, I I would never get that role. But I'm kind of going in there with I don't know what I'm gonna get. I'm just happy to be here. Um, and if I, you know, if I get cast into other exciting, like really exciting things that I wouldn't even see for myself, it's it's like the cherry on top. And then it's like, oh my god, new goals, new challenges, new exciting things, like to keep your to keep pushing yourself. But I think that like the most important is like getting in the room. It's not even getting the role, it's like getting in the room. Like that is a privilege within itself, um, when it comes to those auditions and like uh understudies and things like that.
SPEAKER_00And it sounds to me, and and I know that this was true for myself as well, but going back to you know some of the community questions of how did you know that you were ready to go pro and what helped you kind of get there, I it sounds to me like being in those rooms changed your mindset. So you were able to go from you were able to lift yourself out of that imposter syndrome and make a very critical mindset shift of okay, I'm maybe not there yet. Doesn't mean that I'm going and that doesn't mean that I'm never going to be, but you're starting to see more of what's possible. And I think this is really important on any of our journeys, mine, yours, anyone listening, anyone watching, you are so your mind is so malleable, and you have to get to the place where you can kind of touch the dream because if you don't even know what's possible for you at all, you're never even gonna think to dream that. But you being in the room, making friends, being part of a community, starting to see where could this go? Okay, maybe I'm not, you know, maybe I'm not crazy enough to dream that I'll ever be a soloist, but maybe I could go be over here and then all of a sudden know it. You're doing a soloist role because you touched the dream. You were there, you were close, you were able to start to visualize. Okay, I want Spanish. You know, I want to be that girl. That's gonna be all day. You could visualize, you could start to taste and and almost smell and touch what that would feel like. Like exactly, and it it allows your brain to turn on to be like, all right, how do we get there?
Mindset, Imposter Syndrome & Advice
SPEAKER_01Exactly, yeah. And even like when I first got cast for for that Spanish role, like I remember there's two casts, and the other dancer who is also a really close friend of mine, I was like in awe of her. Like, she is stunning dancer. Like, and I really felt imposter syndrome because this was actually before, like, yeah, we were becoming friends, but I'm just meeting her, you know. Like, now we're really close, but now it's but like looking back, I remember I was just meeting her and she was very cool, but like her her extensions, her like everything, she had everything, like she has everything. And I was really like, oh my god, like like if this is like my alt, like if we are share, you know, like share, we are sharing the role, like there's two casts. I was like, no, she's gonna take all the shows. I was like, she's gonna take because look at her. I was like, she's gonna take all the shows. Um, and just the fact that I was able to kind of like because I did really feel like almost imposter syndrome, and not because of anybody in the room, actually. It was just me. Like it was just me thinking that, like, oh, like, why am I here? Like, oh my god, like I'm not good enough. Like, I'm I'm I'm not like her. Oh, like, oh my goodness, like I do I need to live up to her. And it's like, and ultimately it's not again, like once I take out all the personal things, I feel like I can just start, and I'm like, oh, I don't need to be her. I need to be me. Like, I even if my leg is lower, like I still have this ass, I still have this, or I can still bring this to the table, and like just you're a different person ultimately. So I think it's really important when you get yourself into like that imposter syndrome mindset when you're like, oh my god, like it's okay to have like a mini panic attack, but I think it's really important to kind of like bring yourself back and say, like, I have other things to offer. And that's something that she perhaps can can't bring to the table because she's not me. Like, you know, like we are different people. I can't bring what she's bringing, she can't bring what I'm bringing. So that's important in no matter what level of of where where you are in your ballet journey too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, that's actually so that leads me perfectly into um, we have about 10 minutes left. Um, so I wanted to take some some of our community questions. And on this topic, Chiara actually asked if you had any body limits with your flexibility, your strength, anything like that. Um, and how you were able to overcome them.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, I would say that um, you know, I've worked a lot on my feet flexibility because I never really had uh like uh super fleet. Like I feel like they are strong. They've gotten stronger over the years. Um, I feel like it's important to have both. But um, I've definitely worked on kind of like different strength and stretching exercises to improve like the mobility of my feet and even my flexibility overall during the pandemic. Something that really helped me. Um, I took random classes and um one of the classes that I took that I I dedicated like a couple months to, I probably was doing it throughout the whole pandemic. I was taking a contortion class, which I know sounds insane, but it's not like this uh teacher, like she was amazing. Like it was it wasn't like a like you know, you would think, okay, contortion class, put your like foot behind and like we're just doing a needle now. No, no, it I learned so much that flexibility really comes from strength. Like she really built up our strength, and we did these exercises that are were so uncomfortable, but they were they would just build strength for instance, like one of them was like we had to put our front leg on a on a chair, and like and I think we had our arms here or something, and like it was just lifting the leg and lowering, and lifting the leg and lowering, and like, oh apologies, New York. Um same, but like, or like lift it, and now we're holding it for 10 seconds and put it down. Okay, take a breather, we're repeating it, like kind of um, and that was you know, that doesn't sound that bad, but like the exercises were challenging, and you have to push your limits to like, and then after you do all that, we actually even uh she did some sessions where like we would just start by rolling out the first hour of the class, we're just rolling out, like rolling out our muscles, releasing everything. Then we would build up to strengthening. You're sweating at this point, and then we're actually like going into splits. And that was uh that was my biggest goal for that one. I kind of wanted to get my splits to a level where they're consistent and um and like maybe you know keep working on that kind of flexibility. Um, but I feel like those kinds of classes like really helped me like those strengthening. Like I took this contortion class, but it was again like it was very focused on like strengthening. Um, so I think that was that's something that kind of opened my eyes to different things to approach when it comes to my flexibility and um and body limitations and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00Amazing. Um, okay, and then within that uh a similar realm, we do have some members of the community like Ashley. So we have some people who have started much like you, maybe they had a little bit of a background in in dancing, different styles, or a little bit of ballet. Now they're returning, but being in uh classes or performances with teens where it feels like, oh my gosh, they're so much better than me. I'm never gonna get there. I I missed my chance. Struggling with that comparison trap, I know that that's something that you touched on. So, what would be your advice for overcoming that comparison trap?
SPEAKER_01Um, besides what we kind of like talked about, like kind of letting go of just like all these perceptions and just trying to focus on like what you bring to the table. Because again, like even though she's amazing, like she is not you and you are not her, like we have to kind of hone in on our own things and like not focus on others. Um, but also like actively seeing them as like inspo, like that's something that really has helped me because like my friend, like when I was doing the Spanish thing, ultimately, like she's so gorgeous. I was just so lucky to be close to her to see like how she's executing X movement because then I can execute like that move. It's kind of like what we talked about way back, the copy paste method. Like, I still I still think that way. Like, I'm very whenever I see someone who's crazy strong, or like, or like I I could never live up to or whatever that looks like, or that I feel like, oh my god, you know, however you feel when you're getting that feeling of imposter, it's like, no, like this person is a tool. Like it, you know, I don't I hate to say that, like it doesn't sound that, but it's more it's inspo, like it's inspiration. Like, okay, how is she executing this turn? Like, and in and you start kind of like analyzing, and instead of kind of seeing it as something like, oh, I will never be able, actually take a closer look. Like, take a closer look because maybe you can if you can just like figure out the execution, how she's executing X step that you like are struggling with or whatnot. Yes, I love that. Like how they hold their arms, how they how they use their leg, how they lift their leg. Um, there's so much to take, so many beautiful things that you can take in from someone who is stronger than you. Yeah, um, I always say that if you are the strongest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. Yes, like snaps to that. I really I still think that way. Like that that's one of my like mottos. Yes, absolutely. Um, because there's so much to take in. Like, yes, it's like it can get I totally get it, but um, but there's so many good that can come in and you can learn from too. So just try and like look at take a closer look because ultimately, you know, she's human too. Maybe she's self-conscious about her ex. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, ex thing. Like, maybe you think her her extension is amazing, and that's like what she's most self-conscious about.
SPEAKER_00You just never know. Yeah. Um, okay, and then our final question before we have to wrap up in just two minutes. So just like boom, boom, boom, three words or less. What are some green flags someone should look for when choosing a studio or a teacher in their beginner ballet journey?
SPEAKER_01Okay, um, some green flags. I feel like um if the teacher approaches you and they correct you in any way, shape, or form, like I think it's important to go back to the teacher and like say, hey, thank you so much. That was a great class. And I'm gonna think about your correction. Good times. Um, and also like in uh in a studio, I feel like even the environment like that you surround yourself with, like if you feel like people are approachable or not approachable, like I think it's important to know who you and how you like to vibe because everybody is different ultimately. Maybe someone thrives in like a very full environment, and maybe another person thrives in like a smaller uh studio. So I would just recommend like it depending on like what you're looking for, try and find that like the the vibe that you like. Like there's so many different teachers and so many different studios that um that yeah, like it's important to throw yourself in everything so you can like find okay, this is working for me. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay. Well, Raquel, thank you so much for this amazing interview. I don't want to get cut off. I'm sorry we didn't get to all the questions, but I think hopefully we'll probably have Raquel back at some way, shape, or form.
SPEAKER_01But yes, we can have part two.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_01And we can talk more about point things, how uh more things are talking about like later, uh more point intricate things. Um, but oh my god, thank you so much for having me. This was so fun. Um, and yeah, for taking the time um to hear us out and being here, everyone.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Oh, all right. Well, thank you. I'll give you all the rundown on Raquel's stuff so you can follow her and all that.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, follow me at Rockbow.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. All right, thank you so much. Oh, hello again. Thank you so much for listening to this Adult Ballet Academy interview. Don't forget to join the wait list down in the description below this episode. Waitlist members are getting first access, exclusive discounts, and a lot more. So sign up now and hopefully we'll meet inside the Academy very soon. Okay, bye.