WEBVTT 00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:26.239 And this morning's question for city kids and city teens is the passage tells us some places we can find refuge, life, and rest. 00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:28.160 Can you spot some of these? 00:00:29.440 --> 00:00:33.759 This morning's reading is Proverbs chapter 14. 00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:41.600 The wisest of women built her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. 00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:48.479 Whoever walks in uprightness fears the Lord, but he who is devious in his ways despises him. 00:00:48.880 --> 00:00:54.479 By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve him. 00:00:54.719 --> 00:01:00.399 Where there are no oxen the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:05.040 A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness breeds out lies. 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:10.239 A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. 00:01:10.560 --> 00:01:14.239 Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge. 00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:19.680 The wisdom of the prudent is to discern his way, but the follies of fools is deceiving. 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:24.239 Fools mock at the guilt offering, but the upright enjoy acceptance. 00:01:24.480 --> 00:01:28.719 The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy. 00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:33.359 The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish. 00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:38.159 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:43.200 Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief. 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:49.840 The backslider in heart will be filled with the fruit of his ways, and a good man will be filled with the fruit of his ways. 00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:53.920 The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. 00:01:54.319 --> 00:01:59.680 One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. 00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:05.280 A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated. 00:02:05.519 --> 00:02:09.039 The simple inherit folly, but the prudent are crowned with knowledge. 00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:13.599 The evil bow down before the good, the wicked at the gates of righteous. 00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:18.960 The poor is disliked even by his neighbour, but the rich has many friends. 00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:24.560 Whoever despises his neighbour is a sinner, but the blessed is he who is generous to the poor. 00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:27.199 Do they not go astray who devise evil? 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:30.800 Those who devise good meet steadfast love and faithfulness. 00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:37.599 In all toil there is profit, but the mere talk tends only but mere talk tends only to poverty. 00:02:37.840 --> 00:02:41.919 The crown of the wise is their wealth, but the folly of the fools brings folly. 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:46.879 A truthful witness saves lives, but one who breeds out lies is deceitful. 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:51.599 In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge. 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:57.199 The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death. 00:02:57.439 --> 00:03:02.319 In a multitude of people is the glory of a king, but without people a prince is ruined. 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:08.960 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. 00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:13.120 A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. 00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:19.199 Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him. 00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:24.639 The wicked is overthrown through his evil doing, but the righteous finds refuge in his death. 00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:30.560 Wisdom rests in the heart of a man of understanding, but it makes itself known even in the midst of fools. 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:34.719 Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people. 00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:40.639 A servant who deals wisely has the king's favor, but his wrath falls on one who acts shamefully. 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:41.919 So reads God's word. 00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:14.800 So we're we read Proverbs chapter 14, but we'll bring in other parts of Proverbs as well to try and get a rounded picture of today's theme. 00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:19.199 And today's theme is our emotions, our desires. 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:27.680 Because one of the things that Proverbs is constantly dealing with is our heart, our emotional life, how we how we feel. 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:33.759 Because how we feel can need some wisdom from time to time. 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:40.160 Sometimes do you ever find yourself getting um getting just set off by something really small? 00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:45.600 Somebody cuts you up, or they're too slow at uh at setting off from that green light. 00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:52.639 And before you know you're just mashing that that horn, telling people to hurry up, and you have a stronger response than you realize. 00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:54.079 And you maybe even surprise yourself. 00:04:54.160 --> 00:04:56.800 You're like, why did I why did that come out? 00:04:56.959 --> 00:04:58.959 Why did I respond like that? 00:04:59.439 --> 00:05:18.480 Or maybe you actually feel certain emotions, negative emotions like bitterness or anger or resentment, and you know rationally that you shouldn't feel them, but you do, and you think, well, where do I go with those feelings, those those negative emotions? 00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:24.959 Or we have all from time to time just not been honest about what we're feeling. 00:05:25.040 --> 00:05:29.600 You can walk, maybe you walk in here, you walk into work or whatever it is, and say, How are you doing today? 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:30.560 Fine. 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:33.120 Do you know what FINE stands for? 00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:34.959 FINE is an acronym. 00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:39.040 It means feelings internal, not expressed. 00:05:39.759 --> 00:05:40.800 I'm fine. 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:43.199 I don't want to tell you how I feel. 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:46.079 There might be lots of reasons for that. 00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:48.079 You say, I'm fine. 00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:54.959 Sometimes we do that because that's how we've been brought up. 00:05:55.199 --> 00:06:01.120 To keep a tight rein on our emotional life, you don't want to give away too much. 00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:07.360 You don't want to be that kind of attention-seeking person who's just like constantly all about the drama. 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:14.720 By contrast, our world says, well, actually, you should amplify your emotions. 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:21.199 That how you feel is what should primarily guide you. 00:06:22.079 --> 00:06:23.839 That you should follow your feelings. 00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:27.680 If it feels right, then you should go ahead and do it. 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:34.800 So we can suppress our emotions, we can amplify them, we can even edit them. 00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:40.639 We'd say some things, but there's lots going on under the surface that we haven't spoken about. 00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:46.079 What would being wise with our emotions look like? 00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:54.800 See, Proverbs isn't just interested in encouraging us to act wisely, do wise things. 00:06:56.480 --> 00:06:58.319 Proverbs speaks to our hearts. 00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:07.759 Proverbs wants us to feel wisely, to be wise with respect to our desires. 00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:10.879 That's the wisdom that is offered to us. 00:07:10.959 --> 00:07:16.800 And it's a wisdom that shapes us from the inside out, not just in terms of what we do. 00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:19.439 So, how should we act wisely? 00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:28.560 I'm gonna make five reasonably brief observations from the book of Proverbs about how to act wisely with our emotions. 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:30.160 Here's the first one, you ready? 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:33.839 Emotions are a gift. 00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:39.120 Your emotional life is a gift from God. 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:48.079 Human beings were made not just with the capacity to think, but with the capacity to feel. 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:53.600 None of us here this morning are brains on sticks. 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:57.279 We have a heart and desires. 00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:08.959 And so we feel things like love, joy, grief, anger, hatred, resentment, envy, bitterness, gladness. 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:18.079 And Proverbs is full of language that addresses not just our brains, but our hearts. 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:19.439 Let me give you a couple. 00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:26.639 Proverbs 17, verse 22 says, A joyful heart is good medicine. 00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:31.120 But a crushed spirit dries up the bones. 00:08:32.399 --> 00:08:33.759 What's joy here? 00:08:34.559 --> 00:08:38.480 Well, do you see the joy is actually not just a nice feeling to have? 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:40.159 What does it say joy is? 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:43.120 A joyful heart is good medicine. 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:47.679 Oh it's actually restorative, redemptive. 00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:50.559 It's healing to our souls. 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:52.480 What a gift. 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:56.320 To have the capacity to feel joy. 00:08:57.039 --> 00:08:58.480 It's good medicine. 00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:00.320 Let me give you another one. 00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:02.240 Proverbs 12, 25. 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:10.000 Anxiety in a man's heart or woman's heart weighs them down. 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:14.320 But a good word makes them glad. 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:24.399 See, in in that proverb, God knows that sometimes our hearts can feel heavy. 00:09:25.440 --> 00:09:28.960 You get that just that weight in the pit of your your stomach. 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:44.480 God also knows that the right words from the right person, the right sort of time, spoken with wisdom and love and grace, can actually help to lift that burden, can't it? 00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:46.480 What a gift. 00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:49.840 Or Proverbs 4. 00:09:50.480 --> 00:09:53.840 Verse 23 says, Above all else, guard your heart. 00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:57.679 For everything you do flows from it. 00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:10.080 Our hearts, as our inner being, our core, our desires, our emotions, they're to be guarded or stewarded, kept, say, kept in trust. 00:10:10.720 --> 00:10:11.360 Why? 00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:14.639 Well, because they can lead us to foolishness. 00:10:15.440 --> 00:10:17.919 Has your heart ever led you towards some foolishness? 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:18.720 Yeah. 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:30.559 But they can also lead us to great wisdom when guided by the God who made our hearts after his own heart, who made us in his image. 00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:40.000 So here's the thing the presence of an emotional response in you is not a sign of weakness, right? 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:42.000 It's a sign of design. 00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:45.919 It's a sign that you've been made to feel. 00:10:47.840 --> 00:10:59.279 We're made with the capacity to feel deeply and to express the depth of that feeling in surprising, beautiful, moving, terrifying ways. 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:22.399 But even when we express difficult emotions like anger or grief, the expressing of them can bring a kind of healing and a closeness to God, closest to those around us when done wisely. 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:26.879 So your emotions are a gift. 00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:27.759 What does that mean? 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:30.960 That means don't chase your emotions away. 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:32.639 Acknowledge them. 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:35.120 Whatever you're feeling at any given moment. 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:40.480 Say you're sitting and you're feeling that that weight, that just that that knot of anxiety. 00:11:40.559 --> 00:11:41.600 What do you do with that? 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:46.320 You close your eyes and you say, I see you. 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:48.879 It's safe here. 00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:50.320 You're welcome back here. 00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:54.000 We will get through this. 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:56.399 Don't chase them away. 00:11:57.919 --> 00:12:02.799 Sometimes our emotions cannot be immediately corrected or fixed straight away. 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:09.679 Sometimes emotions like grief simply do need to be seen and sat in for a time. 00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:21.919 We can do this when we remember that God only know God not only made our emotional life, but he sees what we're feeling. 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:24.559 He draws near to us. 00:12:25.519 --> 00:12:27.440 With him we are safe. 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:31.600 He loves us, he forgives our sin. 00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:37.039 And when we come to him by faith and trust, he has an emotional response to us. 00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:38.799 He delights in us. 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:40.799 He rejoices. 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:55.279 When we trust in him, when we place our faith in Jesus, that means that we have a place of permanent security and safety, a place of belonging where we can express those emotions that are a gift. 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:03.759 Secondly, our emotions reflect our hearts. 00:13:05.039 --> 00:13:07.600 I have um hopefully you can see this at the back. 00:13:08.000 --> 00:13:10.399 I have these uh I have these two little cups, right? 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:13.840 They're actually from uh from like Toby's lunch, okay? 00:13:14.159 --> 00:13:16.480 So if you can't see these, hold them a little bit closer. 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:20.799 You have these two little cups, and they're uh they're full of beads, right? 00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:28.159 Now imagine that uh this cup is me, and that this cup is you, right? 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:43.679 And we're going through life together, and we're having a conversation, maybe, and maybe you say something that gets on my nerves, or I say something that offends you. 00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:50.480 And what ends up happening is that our two little cups they bump together. 00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:52.080 What happened? 00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:55.200 I made a mess, Mom, I'm sorry, I made a mess. 00:13:56.799 --> 00:13:58.720 Maybe this happens in marriage, right? 00:13:58.960 --> 00:14:07.279 I see two people are kind of journeying together and everything's kind of fine, and then every now and again there's a oh, oh, why did that why'd that happen? 00:14:07.759 --> 00:14:09.120 What happened there? 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:10.960 The stuff came out. 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:15.120 Why did the stuff come out? 00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:20.559 Well, you might look at your husband or your wife and say, Because you bumped me. 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:25.440 You made me feel like this, and so I went. 00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:28.080 Why did it come out? 00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:30.799 Because it was in there. 00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:36.960 The beads only come out because they're in there, do you see? 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:40.399 And what happens, I'll clear those up at the end. 00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:52.159 Uh what happens is that times of stress, anxiety, conflict, poof, they bump us, and we respond emotionally. 00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:53.759 And why do we respond emotionally? 00:14:53.919 --> 00:14:56.480 Because the other person put those emotions into us? 00:14:56.799 --> 00:14:57.120 No. 00:14:58.000 --> 00:14:59.360 Because they're in there. 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:04.480 What happens is that our emotions reflect our hearts. 00:15:04.639 --> 00:15:08.320 How we express ourselves, express something that's going on inside us. 00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:09.919 That's what I say at the start. 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:14.080 When sometimes we we react in a way that even causes, catches us by surprise. 00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:15.679 You're like, oh, hold on. 00:15:15.919 --> 00:15:17.600 Why did I respond like that? 00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:22.399 What's going on that that actually got to me so much? 00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:26.320 Our emotions reflect our hearts. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:36.639 In Proverbs 14, one of the things that it deals with is this idea that outward actions reveal uh inner character. 00:15:36.799 --> 00:15:38.559 Let me pick it up at verse 5. 00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:43.360 A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness breathes out lies. 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:48.320 So somebody who's corrupt in heart expresses that through lying. 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:49.440 It breathes them out. 00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:53.120 As easy as it is to exhale, out come lies. 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:58.960 A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:00.799 Leave the presence of a fool. 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:05.519 For there you do not need to meet words of knowledge. 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:20.399 The people who are, their hearts are a certain way, a scoffer, somebody who uh who is cynical, who never takes anything at face value, that manifests itself in how they act, in the things that they say. 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:23.039 And it's the same with our emotional character. 00:16:23.360 --> 00:16:25.679 Do you remember what we read from Proverbs 4? 00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:27.519 Above all else, guard your heart. 00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:28.000 Why? 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:30.639 For everything you do flows from it. 00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:40.480 The things that we do are not just, you know, arm behind the bowel, well, you made me be grumpy, uh, or you made me lie to you. 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:43.120 No, no, they come out because they're in there. 00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:48.480 But Jesus' words in Luke chapter 6, out of the abundance of the heart, what? 00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:50.159 The mouth speaks. 00:16:50.879 --> 00:17:08.079 Our emotions are not imposed on us from the outside, they're responses to stimuli, responses to the circumstances that we find ourselves in that reveal stuff that's going on in that churning broil of our own hearts. 00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:11.440 And sometimes it surprises us. 00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:21.920 Growing in wisdom, therefore, is not just about God shaping our habits, but about Him shaping our hearts. 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:31.119 To acknowledge that we feel sad or angry or guilty or fearful. 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:36.880 And to ask, well, what has caused me to feel this way? 00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:45.279 But perhaps a more important question is to ask, where can I turn when I feel this way? 00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:52.000 And that's where the gospel, the good news of Jesus, actually provides so much resources for our hearts. 00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:56.480 You're sitting in sadness or in grief. 00:17:57.039 --> 00:17:58.640 What does the psalmist say? 00:17:59.440 --> 00:18:03.920 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, he helps the crushed in spirit. 00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:07.839 Or the prophet Isaiah. 00:18:08.799 --> 00:18:13.039 Speaking of that suffering servant, the bruised reed, he does not break. 00:18:13.519 --> 00:18:15.759 Maybe you feel like a bruised reed. 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.960 Just at any moment, any pressure at all, you'd snap in two. 00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:22.319 What does Jesus do? 00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:23.440 He doesn't break you. 00:18:24.079 --> 00:18:25.119 He heals you. 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:28.319 Maybe you're angry. 00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:32.880 Is it righteous indignation at an injustice? 00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:36.880 You cry out with the psalmist, vindicate me, O God. 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:44.880 Or oftentimes, actually, our anger comes from a place of entitlement, not getting what we wanted. 00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:47.440 And at that point, we're actually a little bit like Jonah. 00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:48.799 Remember Jonah? 00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:57.920 Who didn't really want to go to Nineveh because he knew that God was going to be merciful and he really didn't want the Ninevites to have any of God's mercy. 00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:08.559 And there's the whole kind of last chapter of Jonah just complaining about this plant growing up and giving him shade, and then God takes it away the next day, and he's just, he's so entitled and he's angry. 00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:12.960 And God comes to him and says, Why are you angry about a plant? 00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:15.680 Why are you grieving about that? 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:20.480 When you've got human beings over here, shouldn't you get your priorities all wrong? 00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:23.119 See how it kind of corrects us. 00:19:23.359 --> 00:19:26.079 And we need to see the mercy of God to us. 00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:28.640 Or in our guilt. 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:33.279 Come to words like John's letter, start of John. 00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:39.680 In his first letter, he says that if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:49.440 But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:51.359 He takes our guilt away. 00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:56.240 He cleanses our shame or our fear. 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:02.880 God says, Fear not, for I am with you. 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:06.640 Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 00:20:07.119 --> 00:20:12.559 I will strengthen you, help you, and uphold you with my righteous right hand. 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:15.759 What are you feeling? 00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:26.880 And rather than saying, you made me feel this way, ask, how can I run to Jesus with this emotion? 00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:29.039 Third. 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:34.240 Emotions are complicated. 00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:40.160 Blaise Pascal, the uh the philosopher, said this. 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:41.839 It's a lovely little turn of phrase. 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:46.720 He says, uh, the heart has reasons that reason does not know. 00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:50.880 The heart has reasons that reason does not know. 00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:55.440 If you've been at City for any length of time, you'll have heard me kind of give this illustration. 00:20:55.599 --> 00:21:02.000 I think that your emotional life, my emotional life, our internal life, is like a box of Christmas tree lights. 00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:24.160 You what you know, it comes the 6th of January, and you put the Christmas tree light, you kind of wind them away in a very orderly sort of fashion, because you know that on the 1st of December, or if you're one of those horrors of human beings putting your tree up in November, uh when you got it out, you spent half the day untangling the mess. 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:26.559 And so you put it away really, really carefully. 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:37.839 And then whatever gremlins go up into your attic between January and December, by the time you go up and get them again, it's a complete and utter mess, and you spend half a day. 00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:40.960 Our inner life is like a box of Christmas tree lights. 00:21:41.039 --> 00:21:43.519 It takes it takes time to untangle it. 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:47.519 It's not all that clear how I'm feeling sometimes. 00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:50.880 And sometimes what I'm feeling is a mixture of things. 00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:53.440 I love that Proverbs deals with that. 00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:56.640 Let me remind you what Rory read from verse 13. 00:21:57.279 --> 00:21:59.279 Even in laughter. 00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:02.240 The heart may ache. 00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:08.640 And the end of joy may be grief. 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:15.759 Have you ever laughed at a wick? 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:31.839 Where you've sat after the funeral service and you've gone for lunch, or you've gone back to somebody's house, and as the day has ebbed on, what you've started to do is you've started to tell stories of the person that you're grieving. 00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:40.799 You tell those funny stories, those silly things that they used to do or say, and you find yourself laughing. 00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:47.599 Does that mean that in that moment you are, quote unquote, happy? 00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:48.720 No. 00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:50.880 You're full of grief. 00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:54.559 And a few hours later you will cry again. 00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:57.599 It's complicated. 00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:03.039 Even in joy, the heart may ache. 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:14.480 But in that moment of laughter, you feel genuine gladness and happiness to have recounted that memory and to share that laugh one with another. 00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:19.839 Or Proverbs 14, verse 10, listen to this. 00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:27.200 The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy. 00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:28.799 What does that mean? 00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:34.640 The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy. 00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:41.039 What that means is no one really knows what's going on inside you. 00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:43.839 Not unless you express it. 00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:48.079 Sometimes we don't know what's going on inside us until it's expressed. 00:23:48.319 --> 00:24:03.920 Is one of the reasons why as a church we partner with an organization set up by Esther Lynch, who's the wife of the pastor of Emmanuel Church and a few others, called Equipped to Care, that helps us to kind of process our emotional well-being. 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:09.920 They're doing a conference actually next Saturday in Grosvenor Road, church on the south side. 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:19.599 And so you can go to equipped to care.ie if you want to go along to hear more about how to make sense of the Christmas tree lights inside of us. 00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:21.920 Here's what this means practically, right? 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:34.480 Don't rush to simplify how someone is feeling or diagnose them too readily and go, okay, so this is what's going on inside you. 00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:36.559 Well, no, it's more complicated than that. 00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:40.480 There's a bunch of stuff going on at once. 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:46.319 And sometimes one aspect of it comes to the fore and then fades back, and another aspect comes to the fore. 00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:54.319 So don't absolutice one emotional expression, say, this is what this person is dealing with, right? 00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:58.079 Or, secondly, for yourself. 00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:01.359 Folks, it's okay to hold these things in tension. 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:12.319 It's okay to laugh through tears, to seek peace, even when you're fearful, even when you're worried. 00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:17.279 God is big enough for our emotional complexity. 00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:20.400 Psalm 139. 00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:28.960 That great Psalm of God's intimate knowledge of us, his making of us in our mother's womb says this. 00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:31.599 He says, You discern my thoughts from afar. 00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:34.559 You know each word before I speak it. 00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:41.680 He knows every knot and tangle of the Christmas tree lights inside your heart. 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:44.000 And he loves you anyway. 00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:52.880 There is no better place to run to to find rest than when we are wearied by the tumult inside of us. 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:55.759 Fourth, we're getting there, okay? 00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:56.799 Penultimate one. 00:25:56.960 --> 00:25:57.680 Fourth. 00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:00.160 Emotions are powerful. 00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:03.440 They can build up or they can destroy. 00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:05.359 Emotions are powerful. 00:26:05.599 --> 00:26:07.599 They can build up or they can destroy. 00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:12.960 Verse 1 of chapter 14, the wisest of women builds her house. 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:18.079 But folly with her own hands tears it down. 00:26:19.039 --> 00:26:27.440 The house of the wise in the book of Proverbs is a symbol of just flourishing at every aspect of life. 00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:32.960 And causing flourishing and joy to those around us. 00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:40.240 Wisdom builds up that house in every respect, not just in terms of what it does, but in terms of how it feels. 00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:09.279 Verse 26 speaks to what this maturity, this wisdom looks like. 00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:15.200 It says, In the fear of the Lord, one has strong confidence. 00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:18.880 And his children will have a refuge. 00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:23.759 You notice in this verse, it actually uses an emotional word. 00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:26.559 It uses the word fear. 00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:30.079 The fear of the Lord is what? 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:34.319 Is a fountain of life. 00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:42.400 Fear of the Lord, that emotional word, is not it doesn't have negative connotations in the Bible. 00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:45.359 Fear of the Lord is not terror. 00:27:47.200 --> 00:28:02.400 It's rather awe, wonder, just being captivated by him, looking at him rather than the changing circumstances around us. 00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:11.119 It's a bit like, it's a bit like, remember that uh that that moment in the Gospels where Jesus comes and he's meeting, uh he's meeting them on the sea. 00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:19.440 And the the sea is in a squall, there's waves crashing everywhere, and they think that a ghost is coming out of them. 00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:25.839 And Peter kind of peers out and says, Lord, if it's you, command me to come out to you on the water. 00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:28.079 And Jesus says, Well, all right then, come on out. 00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:33.680 And so Peter steps out of the boat and starts walking towards Jesus. 00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:38.000 And so he's looking at him and he's walking on the water doing this miraculous thing. 00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:40.319 But then what happens? 00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:49.200 Peter takes his eyes off Jesus and starts looking at the circumstances around him and thinks, hold on a second, I'm standing on a liquid. 00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:53.519 And there's lots of that liquid around me. 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:58.079 And as soon as he starts looking at the circumstances, the terror comes in. 00:28:58.160 --> 00:28:58.880 And what happens? 00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:00.480 He begins to sink. 00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.559 The fear of the Lord, keeping your eyes fixed on him. 00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:07.599 That awe, that wonder. 00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:11.519 What does the proverb say? 00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:14.400 Gives us strong confidence. 00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:16.960 It becomes a refuge. 00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:19.279 It stabilizes us. 00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:22.000 It doesn't mean that we don't feel. 00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:26.319 But it does mean that when we do feel, we're not swept away. 00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:37.039 Chapter 14 contains a number of proverbs that I'll deal with very, very quickly that speak to kind of some negative and positive emotions. 00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:39.599 Verse 29 deals with anger. 00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:47.839 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly, foolishness. 00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:51.759 Some of us can be quick with a harsh word. 00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:53.680 We can be quick to flare up. 00:29:54.559 --> 00:30:01.200 Wisdom's encouragement is that lashing out in this way is a folly. 00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:06.559 And the encouragement actually is to become more of what God's like. 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:14.960 Wisdom finds a home in a heart that is slow to anger. 00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:17.119 Or verse 30. 00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:23.680 A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. 00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:24.720 Isn't that true? 00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:34.240 One of the, yeah, uh we we preached on envy in the summer, and uh I can't remember who said it, I haven't written it down. 00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:43.839 But it's that of all of the seven deadly sins, lust, pride, gluttony, all of those things, you know, avarice, those sorts of things. 00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:48.880 Of all of the seven deadly sins, envy's the only one that's no fun. 00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:51.680 Do you know that? 00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:53.200 Envy's no fun. 00:30:53.359 --> 00:31:00.720 It's no fun to look at what somebody else has, the benefit, the blessing that they have, and just feel resentful towards them. 00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:02.640 It's a rot in our bones. 00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:10.960 The encouragement there is to practice joy in others' blessings. 00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:12.640 But look more positive. 00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:16.880 But the positive bit is before this, a tranquil heart gives life to flesh. 00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:26.400 That a heart that has found peace, a peace in who we are and who God has made us to be and what He has given us and the place that He has placed us in, the heart that is content in those things. 00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:29.440 We looked at contentment last week, find us on Spotify. 00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:33.519 Finds life. 00:31:37.519 --> 00:31:38.160 Finally. 00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:46.160 Every human emotion is seen perfectly in Jesus. 00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:49.839 We can have this kind of false view of God. 00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:52.079 I don't know what your view of God is. 00:31:52.319 --> 00:32:00.000 Uh but some people can think that God's kind of cold and detached and unmoved and unfeeling. 00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:09.759 But actually, when you read the Gospels and see God made man, what we see there is that God actually emotes quite intensely. 00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.240 Jesus feels deeply, vividly. 00:32:15.039 --> 00:32:20.720 You think of his anger, his righteous anger against the money changers in the temple. 00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:35.680 Or how he was dismayed at the self-righteous legalism of the religious leaders who didn't want to heal a man on the Sabbath. 00:32:37.359 --> 00:32:48.559 Or how you rejoiced in God's work in Luke's gospel that God had revealed these truths to his disciples. 00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:52.559 Or perhaps the most profound moment in all of the Gospels. 00:32:53.119 --> 00:32:55.119 What did Jesus do at the tomb of Lazarus? 00:32:55.599 --> 00:32:56.880 Shortest verse in the Bible. 00:32:57.519 --> 00:32:58.640 Jesus wept. 00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:02.880 Jesus felt sadness, grief. 00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:06.799 Even though he knew he was going to rise him from the dead. 00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:08.480 He was still sad. 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:12.160 Or in the garden in Gethsemane. 00:33:12.400 --> 00:33:13.759 What does he say to his disciples? 00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:17.759 He says, My heart is overwhelmed with sorrow. 00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:20.000 Jesus felt deeply. 00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:21.759 He didn't suppress his emotions. 00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:23.759 He gave voice to them. 00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:38.559 He felt deeply, and in him we see an emotional wisdom, an emotional maturity that is not about not feeling, but about feeling rightly, feeling wisely. 00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:46.480 Our growth in emotional wisdom begins when we realize that by nature we don't feel things rightly. 00:33:46.799 --> 00:33:48.640 We don't feel rightly about God. 00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:54.400 We feel cold, feel ambivalent to him at best, maybe even hostile. 00:33:56.079 --> 00:34:13.920 To follow him is to allow him to reorder our affections and to arouse and stimulate new affections in us because of who he is and what he has done for us and to find him as altogether precious. 00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:25.039 By faith, his spirit awakens new desires in us for who he is and what he has done. 00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:37.840 It is then that by his spirit he transforms us that we may be wise, not just at the level of thinking, not just at the level of acting, but at the level of feeling. 00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:57.840 If you found this helpful or want to know more about City Church Dublin, visit our website found in the links below.