WEBVTT 00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:21.920 This morning's reading is from Proverbs chapter six. 00:00:22.239 --> 00:00:26.559 My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching. 00:00:26.879 --> 00:00:30.320 Bind them on your heart always, tie them around your neck. 00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:32.640 When you walk, they will lead you. 00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:37.759 When you lie down, they will watch over you, and when you awake, they will talk with you. 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:43.439 For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:47.520 To preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of adulteress. 00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:52.560 Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. 00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:59.039 For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:03.359 Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burnt? 00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:06.959 Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? 00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:12.719 So is he who goes into his neighbour's wife, none who touches her will go unpunished. 00:01:12.959 --> 00:01:20.079 People do not despise a thief, if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry, but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold. 00:01:20.319 --> 00:01:22.480 He will give all the goods of his house. 00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:26.799 He who commits adultery lacks sense, he who does it destroys himself. 00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:30.719 He will get wounds and dishonour, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:35.280 For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge. 00:01:35.519 --> 00:01:39.599 He will accept no compensation, he will refuse, though you multiply gifts. 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:41.040 So reads God's word. 00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:53.439 And it's great to have you here with us this morning. 00:01:53.599 --> 00:01:56.560 Let me ask you a question as you as you get settled in. 00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:06.719 If you were walking in and you noticed that uh that somebody had their fly undone, uh, would you tell them? 00:02:08.800 --> 00:02:10.879 If they had their their zipper down. 00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:13.039 Uh yeah, people are like flies? 00:02:13.520 --> 00:02:13.919 No, no. 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:14.159 Okay. 00:02:14.319 --> 00:02:15.759 Didn't realize that that didn't translate. 00:02:15.919 --> 00:02:16.240 Fine. 00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:24.080 Their fly or their zipper, if it was, if it was down, you know, this happens in work or in class, you can say, oh, that's a bit awkward. 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:25.599 Would you tell them? 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:27.520 You would. 00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:29.919 If you don't tell them, why not? 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:36.800 Is it because, well, you don't really know them all that well, it's a bit, it's a bit awkward, you don't want them to feel embarrassed. 00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:40.159 If you do, why do you? 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:47.840 Is it because even though it's a little bit awkward, there's a moment of embarrassment, it it saves them fuller embarrassment. 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:50.479 It's the it's the right and kind thing to do. 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:55.199 That, yeah, okay, there's a there's a kind of awkwardness threshold to kind of to overcome there. 00:02:55.360 --> 00:03:00.879 And you're saying something that they might not want to hear, but it saves them in the in the long run. 00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:08.319 What about if it's something that's not just embarrassing, uh, but it's uh harmful? 00:03:08.960 --> 00:03:28.960 Would you would you say to to someone then, would you say to someone that you loved then, if they were doing something, making decisions and choices that you knew on down the line was going to lead to difficulty or harm for them, would you seek to at least express your concern? 00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:44.479 It's hard, isn't it, when you see someone who we who you care about making decisions about their life that you know are going to lead to difficult consequences, harmful consequences. 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:46.879 Would you say something? 00:03:47.520 --> 00:03:55.919 People are particularly resistant these days uh to having their choices um critiqued or challenged, aren't they? 00:03:56.240 --> 00:04:01.439 They interpret anything that kind of smells of that as uh as judgment. 00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:07.759 And there's a kind of a uh there's a cultural assumption that you don't want to come across as a judgmental person. 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:13.520 And so what that leads us sometimes to do is say, well, I'm actually just not going to say anything. 00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:21.519 I might have private opinions, um, but I'm not going to express them because I don't want to be seen as being judgmental. 00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:28.000 But is that always the wise course of action? 00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:30.879 And is that always going to be true? 00:04:31.120 --> 00:04:44.079 Is there a scenario in which you can give a warning to someone or express disagreement with someone's choices, not because you are judging them, but because you care about them. 00:04:44.639 --> 00:04:50.240 Because you actually want to see them flourish as a human being. 00:04:52.079 --> 00:04:58.160 Foolish choices in the book of Proverbs are always harmful choices. 00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:02.879 Maybe not immediately, but certainly inevitably. 00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:16.720 Biblical wisdom wants us to steer away from foolishness, to steer away from folly, not just because it's quote unquote wrong, but because it's harmful. 00:05:18.079 --> 00:05:32.079 The flip side of that is that wisdom, following the path of wisdom, is not just good and morally right, it leads to our flourishing as human beings. 00:05:32.639 --> 00:05:37.040 You see, we see the same dynamics going on in parenting. 00:05:37.120 --> 00:05:42.800 And I'm low, we just we just seem to be um multiplying buggies down the front. 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:45.759 Um but we see the same dynamic. 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:53.519 If we if we give our children the freedom, we give our children freedom within boundaries, right? 00:05:54.079 --> 00:05:57.759 Uh we create a safe environment in which they thrive. 00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:16.959 Now, imagine if your child uh comes to you and says that their, in their opinion, maximal flourishing for them takes place at a playtime on the M50. 00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:33.439 That that is the uh the most free they could possibly be, that that is how they realize their all of their childhood dreams and aspirations is to play on the M50. 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:35.759 Would you step in and stop them? 00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:38.319 Why would you step in and stop them? 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:44.720 Would you would you think to yourself, well, I'm stepping in and I'm stopping my child because it's against the law. 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:46.720 It's just wrong. 00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:49.040 That's part of it. 00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:56.399 But your first motivation for stopping your child, who you care about, is because you love them. 00:06:57.839 --> 00:07:10.959 Because you care about them, you guard them, you steer them away from danger that they might otherwise get themselves into through the foolish choices that they make. 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:18.879 It's important to bear this mind in mind as we come to this passage. 00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:24.000 It's important to bear this in mind as we think about what the Bible calls sin. 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:28.399 Because, yes, sin is wrong. 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:33.600 Yes, sin is a rejection of God and his perfect holiness. 00:07:33.839 --> 00:07:42.560 It is a grasping at our own autonomy, it is a grasping at our own position, it's a de-goding of God. 00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:50.560 But in addition to all of these things, sin is always harmful. 00:07:52.560 --> 00:07:54.480 It harms us. 00:07:55.600 --> 00:08:00.800 And that's not just true of the sexual sin that we're going to get into in this passage. 00:08:00.879 --> 00:08:02.160 It's true of all sin. 00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:04.240 Greed's harmful. 00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:12.000 Greed's harmful because, well, if it's uh if it's kind of greed in the kind of the food sense, well, it's harmful because it robs us of our health. 00:08:12.160 --> 00:08:14.800 Maybe not immediately, but certainly inevitably. 00:08:15.120 --> 00:08:30.959 Financial greed is harmful because it isolates us from others, it robs us of our contentment, it does something to our hearts, it makes us uh quite obsessive about what we have and don't have. 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:37.200 Lying, well, lying is harmful because it undermines our own ability to trust others. 00:08:37.279 --> 00:08:43.440 Because we're thinking, well, if I'm able to perpetuate these lies, well, are other people responding to me in kind? 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:45.840 And so it undermines our ability to trust. 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:49.919 It cuts us off from others for fear of exposure, of being found out. 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:56.240 It makes us kind of paranoid that, well, what if somebody actually discovers what's going on? 00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:06.399 Addiction, whether it's to substances or to pornography, they all leave us feeling trapped and enslaved. 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:13.519 It uh it affects, it ruins our relationships with those who we love, those around us. 00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:20.720 Sin is not just wrong in the ethical sense, it's harmful. 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:40.159 The same is true when we use our sexuality in foolish ways, whether it's through the use of pornography, fornication, adultery, entering into a relationship that doesn't share the same faith commitments as you, all of these things, wisdom signs an alarm and urges caution. 00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:40.720 Why? 00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:43.519 For our own well-being. 00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:50.559 And that is the motivation behind this passage. 00:09:52.720 --> 00:10:07.679 The wisdom comes and says, I want to counsel you in certain ways, not because I'm judging you, not because I hate you, not because I'm trying to ruin your fun, but because I care for you and I want to see you flourish. 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:11.360 Let's ask some questions of this passage as we as we get in. 00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:14.320 So, first of all, where does wisdom come from? 00:10:14.720 --> 00:10:15.759 Where does wisdom come from? 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:24.639 We're just in the very first verse, which is verse 20, if you pull it up on your Bible uh app, or if you've got a Bible with you, uh Proverbs chapter 6, verse 20. 00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:31.600 My son, keep your father's commandment and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:44.559 As we've noticed, noted in these uh first nine chapters of uh the book of Proverbs, they are essentially there's ten different discussions uh between a between a father and a son. 00:10:44.720 --> 00:10:56.960 Uh, and that can be uh transfer, it doesn't always have to be something be a parent and a and a daughter or another child, but it's worth noting that the uh that this is the first time that the mother is mentioned. 00:10:57.200 --> 00:11:05.440 So this is mom and dad coming together, saying, we want to offer you some parental instruction. 00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:08.720 It's a sign of their care. 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:12.480 But I think that it's more than that. 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:20.639 I think there's more than that going on because this is the first time, because given the context, you're the context is specifically around adultery. 00:11:20.879 --> 00:11:21.200 Okay? 00:11:21.519 --> 00:11:29.440 The breaking of a marriage covenant through uh intimate activity with somebody outside of that marriage covenant. 00:11:29.759 --> 00:11:39.840 And so it makes sense, therefore, that actually you have both parents who themselves have formed a marriage covenant coming along and saying, here's some wisdom that we want to give you. 00:11:40.639 --> 00:11:48.159 Having walked this road ourselves, having entered into marriage years ago, here's the wisdom that we want to give you. 00:11:48.720 --> 00:11:58.559 Both parties of a marriage coming together and saying, We want to encourage you, son, daughter, to steward your sexuality well. 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:16.080 In the context of the deadly nature of adultery, what comes as the voice of wisdom is essentially the institution of marriage. 00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:26.240 The institution of a lifelong monogamous union speaks in a sense and sounds a warning. 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:43.840 What we've seen before in the book of Proverbs is that God has God has so designed the world that it has a kind of it has a moral framework, it has a moral shape to it that we are encouraged to discover and live in line with. 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:49.039 We'll be talking about kind of uh living with the grain of the universe. 00:12:49.679 --> 00:13:02.240 God has built in certain structures, certain institutions that help to maximize human success and flourishing. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:06.000 And marriage is one of those institutions. 00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:12.399 It is not a state-created, human-created, designed thing. 00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:16.879 It's something that is instituted and made holy by God. 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:30.879 And in a sense, when mom and dad come together in Proverbs chapter 6, verse 20, it's as though, archetypally, don't worry if you don't know what that word means, but it's as though the whole institution is speaking and offering wisdom. 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:47.279 And what I'm encouraging you with here in this first point this morning is to not just dismiss the institutions and the systems that God has made in his world, that these things offer a kind of wisdom that is worth paying attention to. 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:54.879 Now, I fully look, I I come from, and if my mama is listening to this, this is no judgment. 00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:57.679 My mom and dad split up when I was three years old. 00:13:57.840 --> 00:13:58.159 Okay. 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:02.240 Uh, my mom and my stepdad are getting married in two weeks' time. 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:03.759 They've been together for 30 years. 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:04.799 God bless them. 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:14.000 Um, and so I understand that parents' marriages uh are complicated, right? 00:14:14.320 --> 00:14:21.360 And so I would encourage you not just to look immediately up and go, well, there's a little wisdom to be garnered there. 00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:25.360 Because, first of all, that's probably not true. 00:14:25.919 --> 00:14:28.399 And second of all, it's bigger than that. 00:14:29.679 --> 00:14:44.720 There's a there's a system, there's an institutional thing that God is doing, He is speaking to us, and we do well to pay attention to that fabric that God has woven in creation. 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:56.240 Marriage is designed by God to promote human flourishing, it guards families, it forms the foundational unit of society. 00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:01.120 But more than that, it's a picture of the gospel. 00:15:02.240 --> 00:15:12.960 It illustrates it illustrates many things, but one of the things in this context that it illustrates is Christ's own resolute faithfulness to his bride. 00:15:14.320 --> 00:15:16.399 He loves her and no other. 00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:21.759 He is utterly faithful to you, he is utterly faithful to his church. 00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:29.360 And marriage, faithful marriage, represents that to the world. 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:39.200 It is therefore foolishness to ignore what this institution can teach us or to seek to undermine it. 00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:42.879 The father and the mother speak to us. 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:51.840 We must have the humility to listen and to learn for our own good. 00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:59.120 Second question What is What is the purpose of this wisdom? 00:15:59.279 --> 00:16:00.639 So where does it come from? 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:03.759 What is its purpose? 00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:06.080 Verse 21 to 23. 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:09.759 Bind them on your heart always, tie them around your neck. 00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:11.759 When you walk, they will lead you. 00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:13.679 When you lie down, they will watch over you. 00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:16.240 When you awake, they will talk to you. 00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:24.960 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:50.240 The father and the mother, this this institution speaks to their child and encourages him or her to bind their words closely to them in order that they will do three things lead, watch over, and talk with. 00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:54.240 Lead, watch over, talk with. 00:16:56.240 --> 00:17:02.240 Wisdom leads us with much more than a set of do's and don'ts. 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:06.240 It leads us instinctively. 00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:21.279 It's as these things are imbibed and learned over years that it begins to become an instinctive reflex that we begin to make wise decisions, like training a particular muscle, or think about it this way, learning to drive, right? 00:17:21.359 --> 00:17:22.640 You learn to drive. 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:31.759 Uh if you have gone through that kind of bewildering experience, the uh the first few times, everything is so cognitive. 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:39.119 You're constantly thinking about, okay, where, okay, clutch if you're driving, so we're in stick right now, so Americans, forgive me or translate. 00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:43.920 Okay, so you've got your you've got your clutch, you're moving it, you're gonna crunch some gears here. 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:48.000 You've got to find the by point with the accelerator, and it's all so cognitive. 00:17:48.079 --> 00:17:50.480 You're doing your mirrors, your mirrors, your indicator. 00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:52.880 And then after time, what happens? 00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:54.400 It becomes instinctive. 00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:58.480 You get into bad habits, you start feeding through. 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:02.880 You drop the chair back, you start wiping, right? 00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:03.839 Yeah. 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:06.640 Because it's become instinctive. 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:19.839 Wisdom leads, wisdom desires to lead us in that same sort of way, that there's a there's a point right now where we've got to pay attention to the voice of wisdom. 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:23.440 We think, okay, well, what is wisdom trying to tell us? 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:41.680 We take it to our hearts, but they the idea of binding them close to us is in the hope that it will begin to lead us instinctively, that we'll start to make wise decisions without constantly having to come back and go, okay, uh wise decision on the okay, here, here, verse three. 00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:43.519 Here's the wise decision. 00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:45.599 It becomes instinctive. 00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:54.079 This again, if I speak to the parents, this is what we're trying to do in our parenting. 00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:58.559 You know, many of us are parents of small children, hence the buggies. 00:18:58.640 --> 00:18:59.759 And and so what do we do? 00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:02.880 Well, we we we we hold their we hold their hands. 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:09.119 We hold our hands in order to guide them so that they know what's safe and what isn't. 00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:20.160 And then after a little while, we let go of their hand, they walk alongside us, and we're still kind of there, but they're expressing a little bit more independence because they're they're working out more instinctively what's safe and what isn't. 00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:24.720 They know to stay on uh on the footpath and not to walk on the on the road. 00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:32.319 And there will come a time in our parenting of them when they will never hold our hands again. 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:39.680 And in that moment, we will, sorry, but all the moms have just all the mums of babies have just crumbled. 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:50.640 Um there's a uh just parenthetically, there's a uh there's a uh an album called Hymns for the Christian Life. 00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:57.039 And uh in that album, I'll maybe share it in the in the group, there's a there's a song called A Mother's Prayer. 00:19:57.279 --> 00:20:03.599 If you can get through that without just falling to pieces, you're dead inside. 00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:13.519 Um, one of the things actually it actually comes up in the song, the very last verse, so the the the chorus refrain is take my hand, take my hand. 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:19.359 And then the last verse is uh one day you will uh go where my arms don't reach. 00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:23.839 And the chorus starts, take his hand. 00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:27.920 And that's actually what parenting is. 00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:35.680 Parenting is holding our child's hand so that they begin to learn instinctively, and this is not just physically, this is morally, right? 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:36.480 This is spiritually. 00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:39.599 Spiritually, we're we're taking our children's hand now. 00:20:39.920 --> 00:21:05.599 We're doing the Jesus Storybook Bible, we're building in rhythms and routines, and we're instilling something of not just values, but a spiritual foundation where we're taking their hand, and and what would give us maximal joy as parents is to see them begin to own that for themselves, to begin to, in a sense, not just be holding our hands spiritually speaking, but holding wisdom's hand. 00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:06.720 And whose wisdom? 00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:08.480 Well, it's Jesus, isn't it? 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:09.359 That's what we want. 00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:25.119 We want him to be, we want our children to be instinctively led by wisdom and counted a privilege to place their hand in Christ's and have them lead him in their way. 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:38.000 It watches over, that is to say, that wisdom, when bound to us, when taken to heart, it's a guardian day and night when you lie down and when you awake. 00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:40.000 Why? 00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:49.839 Well, because the command to avoid sexual immorality guards us from the harm that sexual foolishness can bring. 00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:54.319 That it will talk with us. 00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:58.799 Wisdom, when ingrained, becomes a counselor. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:06.480 Each one of us, we have those we have those little voices in our head. 00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:09.599 Sometimes those little voices are helpful. 00:22:09.839 --> 00:22:12.480 Sometimes those little voices tell us lies, don't they? 00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:19.119 Tell us lies about who we are, tell us lies about uh what's right and what's wrong, tell us lie, they tell us lies about other people. 00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:21.839 Those are the little voices that keep us up at night. 00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:30.400 But where they're where they're good, there's there's little voices that guide us in ways of wisdom. 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:32.160 The Bible calls it conscience. 00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:36.960 You think about the angel and the and the and the devil on the shoulder and the cartoons. 00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:40.000 Well, that angel needs to be educated. 00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:51.839 That angel needs to be strengthened, needs to be built up with wisdom so that his voice, her voice, is louder than all of the other little voices, right? 00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:55.200 Wisdom longs to do that. 00:22:55.440 --> 00:23:23.039 That actually, even though you're you're not talking to your to your parents about a particular issue, that, uh, or to whoever it is, that actually you have you've established a foundation where you're able to almost instinctively be talking to yourself, be using those counseling little voices to know how to make wise decisions, decisions that promote our own flourishing and which honor God. 00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:30.400 And the result, mom and dad say, is light and life. 00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:38.960 The commandment is a lamp, the teaching are light, and the reproofs and discipline are the way of life. 00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:44.400 You people think that God's commands, maybe you're here and you wouldn't describe yourself as a Christian. 00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:56.559 This is perhaps what you've come up thinking about kind of Ten Commandments or the law, that God's commands are arbitrary, that they're kind of a cosmic desire to ruin our fun. 00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:00.079 But look at verse 23. 00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:08.160 They're not just ethical barriers, they're ways of promoting life. 00:24:09.119 --> 00:24:14.000 They're designed to maximize your good in the world. 00:24:16.799 --> 00:24:19.920 Why should any of us consider giving our lives to Jesus? 00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:26.079 Why should any of us consider submitting ourselves to his wisdom and what he says? 00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:29.200 Well, because he wants to give us life. 00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:31.200 He wants to see us thrive. 00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:32.960 Remember what he says in John 10? 00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:37.359 I've come to give you life and life abundantly. 00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:41.519 How do you grow in this wisdom? 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:45.519 Well, it begins by acknowledging your need of it. 00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:49.759 That you have to learn that there's ways in which you have been foolish. 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:57.440 And then by faith to come and to sit at his feet and hear his voice. 00:24:59.119 --> 00:25:01.359 Thirdly, so where does it come from? 00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:02.960 What is its purpose? 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:05.440 Why is it necessary? 00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:08.559 Why do we need this wisdom to begin with? 00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:12.559 Well, Mum and Dad in Proverbs 6 talk about it in verse 25. 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:17.599 Do not let her beauty pause there. 00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:19.359 Or his beauty, right? 00:25:19.920 --> 00:25:23.359 So this is again, we said this at the in chapter five. 00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:28.400 This isn't just Proverbs uh picking on women, saying women are strange. 00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:31.119 Uh just flip it. 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:35.039 Strange men, foreign men. 00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:41.680 Do not let his beauty or his handsomeness in your heart. 00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:50.319 Do not let her or him capture you with her eyelashes. 00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:52.720 But look at that first phrase. 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:56.720 Do not desire her beauty. 00:25:57.039 --> 00:25:57.680 Where? 00:25:58.400 --> 00:25:59.599 In your heart. 00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:04.720 Where does where do foolish actions begin? 00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:07.359 They begin in your heart. 00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:10.880 They begin with what we desire. 00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:19.440 You think about that in contrast to well, what do people so often say? 00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:34.160 If people were to counsel you towards uh towards a decision, maybe it's your career, maybe it's a romantic decision, one of the things that people say, well, meaning uh wrong people say something like, well, listen to your heart. 00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:40.000 No, stop! Don't do that. 00:26:41.519 --> 00:26:43.680 That's terrible advice. 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:45.519 Stop doing that. 00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:51.039 Does anybody know who Matt Hancock is? 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:55.519 Matt Hancock, uh, so the Englishman halfway up was nodding. 00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:59.599 Uh, because Matt Hancock was the um he was the minister for health during COVID. 00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:00.319 Do you remember that? 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:03.359 There was a there was a whole time when uh the whole world stopped. 00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:07.039 Uh he was the minister of the health uh for health in the UK during COVID. 00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:16.319 And so he was the the face essentially of uh of Britain's kind of lockdown um policies and guidelines. 00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:25.839 Uh and he was the one who was putting them all forward and saying, you know, we need to we need to do this and locking people in their homes and all of all of all of that. 00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:27.359 And then what happened? 00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:38.319 Well, footage emerged uh of Matt Hancock uh kissing a colleague up against a wall, uh, despite him being married. 00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:45.039 And uh a couple of years later, it might have just been kind of 18 months ago, he was on uh Stephen Bartlett's podcast. 00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.920 Uh um is it Confessions of a CEO or Diary of a CEO? 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:52.079 Uh anyway, Stephen Bartlett's podcast. 00:27:52.240 --> 00:28:02.240 And he was asked by Stephen Bartlett to kind of give an account uh for for why he did that in light of all of the lockdown procedures. 00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:02.799 Do you remember? 00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:04.000 Do you know what his response was? 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:08.160 His response was, well, I just I can't help who I fell in love with. 00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:09.839 I fell in love. 00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:16.400 That's Matt Halco saying, Well, my my heart went there and I had to I had to follow it. 00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:23.359 Folks, our hearts are not wise guides. 00:28:25.359 --> 00:28:29.039 Proverbs elsewhere says that the heart is deceitful above all things. 00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:31.920 Your heart lies to you. 00:28:32.559 --> 00:28:37.599 Your heart takes you places that wisdom wouldn't. 00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:46.720 You might have seen the uh the the cartoon strips online of uh of the heart and the brain, and the heart is like chasing butterflies. 00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:48.559 Uh I probably shouldn't skip. 00:28:50.079 --> 00:28:55.680 And the brain's there and he's got glasses on and he's reading, he's very cerebral, and he's constantly being like, Where are you going? 00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:56.640 That's our heart. 00:28:56.799 --> 00:28:59.839 Our heart isn't, they're not wise guys. 00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:04.240 We do not by nature make wise decisions. 00:29:04.640 --> 00:29:10.079 By nature, our heart often leads us towards foolishness. 00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:21.279 You know, maybe you've wanted something so badly, maybe we wanted even a relationship so badly that it's caused you to make choices that have been wrong or unwise. 00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:25.119 And do you know what happens? 00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:39.839 Once our hearts make a decision, once our hearts get attached to something, the next step is that we build an intellectual framework around that decision in order to justify it. 00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:50.640 That's when our brain gets involved and we go, okay, well, here's why here's X, Y, and Z reason why what I really want is okay, and why God would be okay with it. 00:29:51.119 --> 00:29:51.680 Right? 00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:54.640 We create the ethical framework. 00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:57.680 And then we go about our actions. 00:29:57.839 --> 00:30:04.160 See, what the heart desires, the mind justifies, and the will carries out. 00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:12.079 Wisdom comes and says, Do not let your heart steer you. 00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:17.440 Because it will steer you places that are unwise. 00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:24.640 What needs to happen with our hearts is that our hearts need to be transformed by wisdom. 00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:28.960 That is to say, that our hearts need to be transformed by Jesus. 00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:33.680 Our hearts by nature are hard and immovable. 00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:37.039 We don't want to listen to others, we kind of want to go our own way. 00:30:37.519 --> 00:30:45.599 It's only when we acknowledge our need of forgiveness, when we come to Jesus, that actually we get a heart that's not hard, but soft. 00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:54.720 And a heart that's been softened by the grace of Jesus is open to learning from Him. 00:30:54.960 --> 00:30:58.720 It's open to being guided by His wisdom. 00:30:59.200 --> 00:31:00.480 Not always perfectly. 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:02.640 That's what sanctification's for, right? 00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:08.799 Our heart will continue to uh to want to pull us in ways that aren't wise until the day we die. 00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:21.359 But by faith in Jesus, we begin a process of growing, maturing, educating, imbuing wisdom in our hearts. 00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:28.480 We need his wisdom because our hearts are not always wise guides. 00:31:30.079 --> 00:31:32.799 And then fourth question, finally. 00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:35.759 So, what is wisdom's warning? 00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:39.920 What does wisdom come and say you've got to be careful of? 00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:43.759 Well, three things here. 00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:48.880 First, that sin is self-destructive. 00:31:51.039 --> 00:31:53.119 Sin is self-destructive. 00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:57.839 Now, on a spiritual level, all sin is a kind of self-harm. 00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:01.599 You were created to flourish in relationship with God. 00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:12.000 And so when we turn away from that relationship that's supposed to maximize our being human, we end up decreating ourselves. 00:32:12.079 --> 00:32:17.039 We end up becoming less human, less what God intended. 00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:39.680 It's why I one of the one of the most beautiful ways I can think of of describing what it is to become a follower of Jesus, to put your to put your faith in him is to say that when somebody trusts Christ for the forgiveness of their sins, when somebody comes back into relationship with God, do you know what happens? 00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:42.799 They become more truly human. 00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:46.319 Because we were made for that vertical relationship. 00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:51.680 And so to turn aside from that has a decreative quality to it. 00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:59.839 But here, wisdom points out that if you play with fire, sooner or later you will get burned. 00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:17.279 So as he who goes into his neighbor's wife, none who touches her will go unpunished. 00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:25.359 Don't sit and look at 28 and go, Well, I say you can't walk on hot coals, because uh I did it over in when I was on in holiday in India. 00:33:25.599 --> 00:33:28.480 Um the point is the same. 00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:37.599 You cannot carry a fire close to your chest and not get burned. 00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:42.720 If you have an affair, sooner or later the truth will come out. 00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:45.119 That's what these verses are saying. 00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:48.160 Eventually, your marriage will suffer. 00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:51.359 Your family will be placed into jeopardy. 00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:59.279 Or if you're addicted to pornography, it's affecting you now. 00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:01.599 You know that it's changing your neurochemistry. 00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:13.679 Even non-Christians have picked up on this that porn is a bad thing because it affects the way you think, it affects the way you think about yourself, it affects the way you think about the opposite sex or the same sex. 00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:19.119 It affects your ability to give yourself to your spouse. 00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:26.000 Being burned is an inevitable consequence of playing with fire. 00:34:27.519 --> 00:34:33.039 In the same way, harm is an inevitable consequence of sexual foolishness. 00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:38.480 So sin is self-destruction. 00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:42.079 Secondly, sin is irrational. 00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:44.800 Verse 30 to 30 uh 32. 00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:49.840 People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry. 00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:52.159 But if he's caught, he will pay sevenfold. 00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:54.079 He will give all the goods of his household. 00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:57.360 He who commits adultery lacks sense. 00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:02.239 He who does it destroys himself. 00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:06.800 The illustration, I think, makes sense instinctively, doesn't it? 00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:14.719 It's uh Proverbs is saying, wisdom is saying to us, well, somebody could steal a loaf of bread because they're starving. 00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:18.320 And you could look at that and go, well, actually, it's wrong to steal. 00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:21.760 And if they get caught, they'll have to pay for it. 00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:24.719 But you can at least understand why they did it. 00:35:25.119 --> 00:35:26.880 It at least makes sense. 00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:29.920 My family's starving, so I stole some bread. 00:35:30.079 --> 00:35:32.000 A la Jean Valjean, right? 00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:35.920 Uh that makes sense instinctively. 00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:37.599 We understand why. 00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:42.000 But then Proverbs turns and said, well, but adultery is not like that. 00:35:42.400 --> 00:35:44.320 Sexual folly isn't like that. 00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:46.239 It makes no sense. 00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:48.639 It's utterly irrational. 00:35:49.519 --> 00:36:02.320 It's weighing in the balance your spouse, your life, your kids, your life as you know it on one side, and a brief illicit accounter on the other side of the scales and going, worth it. 00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:04.719 It's madness. 00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:06.960 It's irrational. 00:36:08.159 --> 00:36:12.639 Or we justify our porn use by saying, well, it's just private. 00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:14.960 At least it's not having an affair. 00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:16.559 I need it. 00:36:17.519 --> 00:36:19.039 It's a helpful release. 00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:20.639 We rationalize. 00:36:22.159 --> 00:36:24.320 We rationalize the irrational. 00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:28.000 This is not just true for sexual folly. 00:36:28.079 --> 00:36:31.599 This is true for all idolatry. 00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:40.880 The idols of our hearts, whether it's money, sex, or power, they're finite. 00:36:41.039 --> 00:36:42.639 They're created things. 00:36:43.119 --> 00:36:51.280 And yet we expect them to give us permanent, infinite, eternal security. 00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:55.920 But how can something that's finite and be taken away ever give you that? 00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:59.039 You see, it's all idolatry is irrational. 00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:06.960 So one of the very first steps here this morning, if you're thinking, well, I've been a bit of a fool. 00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:09.039 How do I begin to grow in wisdom? 00:37:09.199 --> 00:37:13.599 Well, the first step is to stop rationalizing. 00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:16.880 Enough with the excuses. 00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:23.840 Enough with the yeah, but no. 00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:34.239 It begins when we stop rationalizing, and we come to Jesus acknowledging our need of forgiveness and repentance. 00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:41.519 Third, sin is unappeasable. 00:37:42.320 --> 00:37:44.400 It's self-harm, it's irrational. 00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:46.559 It's unappeasable. 00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:49.679 Verse 33 to 35. 00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:56.480 He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. 00:37:57.199 --> 00:37:59.760 But jealousy makes a man furious. 00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:02.480 He will not spare when he takes revenge. 00:38:02.719 --> 00:38:04.800 He will accept no compensation. 00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:09.519 He will refuse, though you multiply gifts. 00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:22.400 Sometimes our foolish decisions, particularly our foolish sexual decisions, can follow us the rest of our lives. 00:38:23.679 --> 00:38:29.039 Whether justifiably or no, they hang like a cloud over us. 00:38:31.599 --> 00:38:35.119 Humanly speaking, there are many things that a person might be willing to look over. 00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:40.000 But there is a particular shame attached here. 00:38:41.920 --> 00:38:43.039 That's what wisdom is saying. 00:38:47.119 --> 00:38:49.360 You could try and bribe the wounded party. 00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:52.559 You should offer them tens of thousands of euro. 00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:56.159 And it wouldn't matter because it's not about financial recompense. 00:38:57.360 --> 00:38:59.199 Something spiritual has happened. 00:39:00.239 --> 00:39:03.840 Something profound at a heart level has taken place. 00:39:10.079 --> 00:39:14.239 She's saying that there's a real politique to our sexual sin. 00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:19.360