WEBVTT 00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:16.480 Welcome to City Church Dublin Sermon Archives. 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:24.000 Join us in session two from our Church Family Weekend Away, 2022, as our guest speaker Colin Crichton speaks to us from Proverbs. 00:00:26.960 --> 00:00:30.000 So Proverbs 20, verse 5. 00:00:31.839 --> 00:00:42.240 The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but the one who has insight draws them out. 00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:46.399 Just read it again. 00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:58.320 The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but the one who has insight draws them out. 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:02.560 Let me read a few other verses. 00:01:05.920 --> 00:01:07.519 Proverbs 4, 23. 00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:14.719 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:18.000 Proverbs 27, 19. 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:26.400 As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. 00:01:26.879 --> 00:01:32.719 As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:35.519 Luke 6.45. 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:49.920 For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:51.680 Did you get the picture? 00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:57.920 What I would like you to do is I'm not going to talk for long. 00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:05.280 We're going to have a time where you can bounce questions, and then you're going to have a time where we can go and think about some of these things. 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:11.919 But first thing I'd like you to do is search into the deep recesses of your memory. 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:19.919 And I just want you to envision what you had for dinner last night. 00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:21.680 Okay, go for it. 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:24.080 Get in there. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:27.520 Can you taste it? 00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:30.159 Anyone have anything good? 00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:32.319 Curry? 00:02:32.800 --> 00:02:35.599 Did you all have this cheesy potatoes? 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:39.439 Oh, were you all eating together? 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:40.080 Of course. 00:02:48.159 --> 00:02:50.719 It's like a shitty church dinner, yeah. 00:02:52.879 --> 00:02:54.639 Okay, let me try a harder one. 00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:59.599 Um search into the deep recesses of your mind to pick up. 00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:04.080 It doesn't have to be the earliest, but an early memory. 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:10.319 Have you ever heard the phrase uh he couldn't drive a nail in snow? 00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:14.719 No, so I think I was about three or four, and I remember my dad saying that phrase. 00:03:14.879 --> 00:03:18.240 Now, if you're from a farming background, to drive something is to hammer it. 00:03:18.400 --> 00:03:24.639 So you drive a nail, and so if someone is a terrible driver, I mean you imagine hammering a nail in snow. 00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:31.759 Anyone can hammer a nail in snow, and so if they're a terrible driver, you say they couldn't drive a nail in snow. 00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:36.319 And I remember sitting hearing him say this thing, well, that sounds really hard. 00:03:37.759 --> 00:03:41.439 I mean, how could you drive a nail in snow? 00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:45.599 So that was one of my sort of that's dad, you're a little bit odd. 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:48.400 If you're gonna have a go at someone for their drive. 00:03:48.719 --> 00:03:56.479 Um okay, uh, think back to a happy memory. 00:03:56.719 --> 00:04:04.240 Doesn't have to be the happiest, but one that just stands out as that was good. 00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:06.960 That's good. 00:04:07.439 --> 00:04:09.120 Okay, here's a harder one. 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:12.879 One of your saddest. 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:18.240 Don't have to share it, just just just pick it out. 00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:20.560 One of your saddest. 00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:37.680 Because see, see, actually, as you go through the Christian faith, so much of it is about memory and and and remembering rightly. 00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:50.399 You know, so when when when Moses brought the boys out of Egypt and was heading to the promised land, uh, one of the things that he kept saying is, remember, remember. 00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:58.160 Uh Deuteronomy 32, remember the days of old, consider the generations long past. 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:04.079 Ask your father, and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you. 00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:11.199 Okay, memory is woven into the fabric of the Christian faith. 00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:17.360 And as we share the Lord's Supper, do you remember the words that the Apostle Paul gives us? 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:18.879 Corinthians 11. 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:25.600 In the same way, after supper, he took the cup, saying, This is the cup, the new covenant in my blood. 00:05:25.839 --> 00:05:32.399 Do this whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me. 00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:46.959 That whether it was Moses coming out of Egypt, whether it is Jesus in the Passover meal, that that memory is a huge thing in our Christian faith. 00:05:47.279 --> 00:05:50.720 Um and and not just with us, with with God. 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:53.439 Um, Hebrews chapter 8, verse 12. 00:05:53.680 --> 00:06:02.160 For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. 00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:08.879 Now just push for a second what what what God means by that. 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:15.519 I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. 00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:24.879 Does that mean if if you could have a conference with God right now and you said, um, God, has Cullen ever sinned? 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:28.879 Do you think he'd scratch his head and say, I just can't remember? 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:29.839 I'm not sure. 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:33.839 I think there was some sort of skirmish a few years ago, but it's gone. 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:39.600 That God doesn't have sort of some sort of spiritual amnesia. 00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:49.360 That the reason he forgives our wickedness and remembers our sins no more is because he remembers them in light of the cross. 00:06:50.319 --> 00:06:53.920 That he sees our sin in light of the cross. 00:06:54.000 --> 00:07:03.600 It's not because he's forgotten, it's not that God forgets, he remembers them no more because he remembers them in light of the cross. 00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:09.519 That actually memory in the Christian faith is massive. 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:26.480 Um and there's the great African bishop who was around 1500 odd years ago, Augustine, and he had this wonderful way of taking everything that the Christian faith said about memory and putting it in this little picture. 00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:30.240 Now it sounds odd when we say it, okay, but run with it for a second. 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:35.360 He said, memory is the stomach of the soul. 00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:40.319 Memory is the stomach of the soul. 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:52.480 And what he means is these physical stomachs that we have, and you know, imagine days before refrigeration and freezers and all this sort of spoiled food that you could eat. 00:07:52.959 --> 00:08:04.560 That when you take in both good food and bad food, physically, the stomach can deal with it, processes it, breaks it up, and some is absorbed into the body and some is ejected out of the body. 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:08.000 But that's what the stomach does when it's working right physically. 00:08:08.319 --> 00:08:10.959 You take in the good stuff, you take in the bad stuff. 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:19.199 If the stomach is working right, if your physical stomach is working right, it allows the good stuff to be absorbed and the bad stuff to be shot out. 00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:23.120 Augustine says you have a spiritual memory. 00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:25.439 Sorry, a spiritual stomach. 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:34.320 And it's your memory, where life throws all sorts of good stuff and bad stuff at us. 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:49.200 And our memory is there to digest it, to break it down, so that the good stuff is absorbed into our soul and the bad stuff is dealt with and kicked out. 00:08:50.159 --> 00:08:52.000 Do you know what Augustine says is the problem? 00:08:55.360 --> 00:08:57.039 Our stomachs are broke. 00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:02.799 And physically, if our stomachs were broke, it would poison our body. 00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:10.879 But spiritually, when our stomachs are broke, it poisons our soul. 00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:17.519 And do you remember those verses we read out from Proverbs? 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:25.279 The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out. 00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:29.519 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. 00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:33.840 As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. 00:09:34.080 --> 00:09:39.600 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. 00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:44.000 For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:52.559 I don't I don't know most of you, and I don't know what your good memories are, I don't know what your bad memories are. 00:09:54.480 --> 00:09:59.759 But I do know that there are memories in there that are shaping you. 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:04.879 That are setting a course for your life. 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:11.919 I also know that every single one of us have spiritual stomachs that are broken. 00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:16.799 No one gets through this life. 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:27.519 We all have the broken stomach that we take in the good and we take in the bad, but our stomachs don't deal with them right. 00:10:28.639 --> 00:10:43.120 And so much of the Christian faith is about remembering rightly, about being able to digest and break it down so that the good stuff is absorbed and the bad stuff is got rid of. 00:11:05.360 --> 00:11:11.679 This is the lad talking, and he says, How beautiful you are, my darling, oh how beautiful your eyes are doves. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:16.320 And then she says, How handsome you are, my darling, oh how charming. 00:11:16.559 --> 00:11:18.000 Our bed is verdant. 00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:29.360 And there is this wonderful picture of this double mutual gaze, where he is gazing at her and she is gazing at him. 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:31.440 And it's both ways. 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:40.559 It's not just that she rejoices in knowing him, but she also rejoices in being known by him. 00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:49.759 It's not just that she rejoices in loving him, but that she rejoices in being loved by him. 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:58.399 It's not just that she sees him, but that she rejoices that she is seen by him. 00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:03.519 And and so often in the Christian faith we've lost this. 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:12.879 Where we get half of that, where we say, um, I I need to gaze on Jesus, praise God. 00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:18.480 The crucified, risen, resurrected, ascended, Jesus, I need to gaze on him. 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:19.679 Amen. 00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:20.799 Praise God. 00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:31.679 What we've often forgotten is that we need to rejoice that the crucified, risen, ascended Jesus gazes on us. 00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:37.360 And he sees us, and it is safe to be seen. 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:40.720 We know that we should delight in God. 00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:41.759 Psalm 43. 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:47.840 Then I will go to the altar of God to my God, my joy and my delight, I will praise you with lyre, O God, my God. 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:53.360 Did you know that God also delights in you? 00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:55.759 Psalm 18. 00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:58.320 He brought me out into a spacious place. 00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:02.879 He rescued me because he delighted in me. 00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:08.399 I bet most of us know that we should delight in God. 00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:18.480 I bet most of us know that we should gaze on him and see him and know him and love him. 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:23.200 And that's an amazing part of half the story. 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:32.879 We should also celebrate that he gazes on us and sees us and knows us and loves us and delights in us. 00:13:34.159 --> 00:13:43.759 That we want to know the story of Jesus, but we also want that story to shape our story about us. 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:57.519 We want to understand ourselves as He sees us because He looks on us and delights in us and see our spiritual stomachs. 00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:00.720 They're broken. 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:15.200 And I would love to sit with every single one of you and to find out what your spiritual stomach has done with the joys and the sorrows that you have gone through. 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:22.559 Because I'm telling you, it has told you a story that is neither gracious nor true. 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:34.080 That you will see yourself different to how Jesus sees you, and you will go through your life with two stories. 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:40.320 This is what Jesus is like, and this is what my memory has told me about me. 00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:42.240 Do you know what I would love? 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:45.759 I would love the story of Jesus. 00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:50.559 Not to compete with this story, but to change it. 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:53.919 To tell a better story. 00:14:54.720 --> 00:14:56.159 A more truthful story. 00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:58.720 A more gracious story. 00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:03.840 Because I'm not asking an if your stomach's broken. 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:04.559 It is. 00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:05.840 Mine is. 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:14.639 And what I would love as we we're gonna open this for a few questions, then we're gonna go think about it. 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:21.679 All I wanna do is throw a pebble here to get us thinking about it. 00:15:22.159 --> 00:15:27.919 Um let me let me give um let me give an example. 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:33.919 So um imagine rural Irish farmer, let's call him George. 00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:43.200 Um you meet George, he's even older than I am, and he's a wife and a heap of kids. 00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:49.679 And you meet him as the divorce proceedings are in full flow. 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:53.279 It's been bubbling away for 15 years of difficult marriage. 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:55.440 The wife has finally had enough. 00:15:55.840 --> 00:16:00.720 And she says, for 15 years I've been married to the man I love, and I've been a single wife. 00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:02.799 I've been a single mother. 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:04.639 He's never here. 00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:06.320 It's not the farming. 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:13.919 All of our family, all of our neighbors are farmers, and they they they make it work, but he is literally never here. 00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:21.039 And we have had it out over the last 15 years, and he says, I know, I know, and I know he loves us. 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:23.600 But he is never here. 00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:38.159 And and and it'll blow up, and for a couple of weeks, he'll he'll he'll find a way to a kid's birthday party, or he'll find a way on a Saturday to spend with us, but after a few weeks it just goes back where he he's married to the farm. 00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:43.039 It's not because they have to, the other farmers make it work, they make time for their family. 00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:51.519 It's not that we're in some sort of unique situation, but whatever it is, George, he will just not be a husband, he will not be a father. 00:16:51.679 --> 00:16:53.279 And I've had enough. 00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:55.120 I'm gone. 00:16:55.519 --> 00:17:02.639 And all their money's invested in the farm, the divorce is going to happen, the farm will have to be sold, the whole thing's a mess. 00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:06.720 And you talk to George, like, George, what are you doing? 00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:11.440 Just you know, you're a husband, you're a father, go and spend time with him. 00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:13.359 You know what he says? 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:15.119 I want to. 00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:25.519 And I and I try, and we go through we go through the blow-ups, and I try so hard, but I don't know what happens. 00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:30.400 But one day I, you know, a few weeks have gone by and I'm back in the tractor. 00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:41.039 And I'm and I've tried and and I've I've asked for forgiveness and I've tried to change, but no matter what I do, and I don't want to lose my wife. 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:44.160 I love her, and I don't want to lose my kids, and I don't want to lose my farm. 00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:47.279 But I have been trying and it just isn't working. 00:17:49.440 --> 00:17:51.279 What do you say to George? 00:17:53.599 --> 00:18:01.359 You give them a pile of smart targets and say, well, okay, this day you gotta do a date night, and okay, uh, birthdays are on the schedule. 00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:05.440 It's not a question, you just have to you you give them a list of stuff to do. 00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:09.039 Might work, it won't. 00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:11.359 But you you could try it. 00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:20.240 Or you could see that the heart, the purposes of a person's heart are deep waters. 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:22.799 The one who has insight draws them out. 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:28.079 As a water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. 00:18:28.240 --> 00:18:32.720 Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. 00:18:32.960 --> 00:18:34.559 Do you all know about George? 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:37.039 Now he he grew up on that farm. 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:38.720 That was his father's farm. 00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:44.640 And he was uh he was in a family of boys, and he was the best farmer. 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:53.680 And his father was a good Christian lad, but had gone through a season in farming where you just couldn't make a living out of it. 00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:56.480 And his father hated himself for it. 00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:06.480 And they never had enough money, and he would work every minute that was given to him, and he never had enough to make things work for his family. 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.839 But he spent themselves every moment that he could. 00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:14.240 But bitterness got into his father's heart. 00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:23.920 And anyone that he saw having an easy ride, either because they were born into money or because they were playing the welfare system or whatever it was, he hated them. 00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:33.680 Because here he was breaking himself, spending every moment that he could work, and nothing was ever enough, and his father hated himself for it. 00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:36.640 But he always taught his boys to work hard. 00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:59.920 And then one day they were driving uh the uh the John Deere on the roads, and there was a local Gaelic match on, and the queue was queued back, and there was this BMW car in front of them, and and and George's dad was lit, and George was in the cab with his father, and his father lost it. 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:05.759 And he pointed at the BMW and he said, That's what's destroying our country. 00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:07.759 Waisters like that. 00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:16.160 And there was disgust in his eyes, and George saw it. 00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:24.640 Wasn't the last time, wasn't the first time, but it was the most intense that George had seen it. 00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:27.920 There was disgust in his father's eyes. 00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:33.519 Do you know what George fears more than anything else in the world? 00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:39.759 That his father would look on him with those eyes. 00:20:41.119 --> 00:20:43.359 Do you know what George was like as a teenager? 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:45.920 That was when he was seven. 00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:55.920 George didn't bother with friendships in school because the friendships happened on Saturdays, and instead of going to be with friends on Saturdays, he would be on the farm. 00:20:56.640 --> 00:21:03.279 Instead of coming in in the evenings and watching a bit of TV with his other brothers, he would stay out on the farm. 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:14.319 Instead of going on summer camps or on holidays, he would say to the family, no, no, let's just stay for the whole summer on the farm. 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:17.200 He spent his whole life there. 00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:19.440 Because he was running from somebody. 00:21:20.960 --> 00:21:29.839 Because he never wanted his father to look on him the way his father looked on that man in the BMW. 00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:40.480 And George has spent his whole life running from that look and trying to prove to himself that he's the good son. 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:44.480 And he loves his wife. 00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:47.599 And he loves his kids. 00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:55.519 And every time that he's getting convicted that he's not treating them right, he says, Right, I'll go and have a date night. 00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:57.839 Do you know what happens on those date nights? 00:21:59.119 --> 00:22:03.039 Well, the first Time he's up for it, he's like, Yes, this is the woman that I love, I treasure her. 00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:04.799 Do you know what happens the second time? 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:13.519 He's looking at the door, and it's not that he thinks his father will physically walk in. 00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:19.839 But there's only one safe to place to be, and that's in the tractor. 00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:27.680 Because when his father sees him there, his father has eyes of pride and respect. 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:34.240 But what if his father walked in and saw me having a date night instead of working? 00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:39.200 Would he look with those eyes of disgust? 00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:44.480 Now, do you think if you asked George, why can't you do a birthday party? 00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:47.599 Do you think he'd say, Oh, well, when I was seven? 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:50.079 He hasn't got a clue. 00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:53.519 He has not got a clue. 00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:59.599 He just knows that when he tries, his feet get up and walk out the door. 00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:01.920 He doesn't know why. 00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:10.960 He doesn't know why when these children that he loves so much and he buys them the birthday present and he's there blowing out the cake that he has one eye on the door. 00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:12.559 He doesn't know why. 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:24.400 But his whole life is being shipped because some muck came his way and his spiritual stomach did not know how to process it. 00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.119 How could he? 00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:26.160 He was seven. 00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:36.079 And his memory has processed that in a way that has absorbed poison into his soul. 00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:43.119 And I'm telling you, all the date-night plans in the world is not going to get him off that tractor. 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:56.480 One of the things the proverb says, the purposes of a person's heart are deep waters. 00:23:57.119 --> 00:23:59.039 But the one who is inside draws them out. 00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:06.079 As a water reflects the face, so one's life reflects their heart. 00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:14.319 George's entire life has been shaped by how he interpreted that memory. 00:24:15.359 --> 00:24:20.799 And what we want George to do is to see that Jesus sees him. 00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:28.960 And to let Jesus rewrite that story to make it a better story, a more gracious story, a more truthful story. 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:35.680 Someone needs to tell George that what he saw in his father's eyes at seven years old was not about him. 00:24:35.839 --> 00:24:38.160 It was about his own father's pain. 00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:56.960 That what he saw as a seven-year-old kid was nothing to do with George, and everything to do with a father who was trying his best and hated himself, and the root of bitterness had got in his heart, and on that day had jumped from his heart into George's eyes and into his soul. 00:24:57.680 --> 00:24:59.599 But it was not about George. 00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:08.240 And George needs to see the crucified risen Savior Jesus Christ walk him through that. 00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:15.359 And tell him a better story, a more truthful story, a more gracious story. 00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:21.359 Because until he does, he can try and fix his behavior all he wants. 00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:24.559 But he's going to have one eye on that door. 00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:30.720 And it will be a matter of time before we're back in the old cycle. 00:25:31.039 --> 00:25:33.359 I'd love you to hit me with questions. 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:37.680 And then I'd love us to take some time to think. 00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:39.599 So here's his questions first. 00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:40.160 Go. 00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:43.920 Yes, just on the topic of memory. 00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:54.960 Would you have anything to say about the dangers of nostalgia as a Christian or whether it's a good thing to be nostalgic and sentimental about the past or like it? 00:25:58.160 --> 00:26:04.160 It depends if by nostalgia you mean it's laden with oversentiment. 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:08.000 I think memory is good where it is truthful and gracious. 00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:14.400 If it's idealizing the past in an unrealistic way, that's poison too. 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:22.559 That a bit like with Hebrews 8, God does not have amnesia, he remembers rightly. 00:26:22.799 --> 00:26:25.599 Because he remembers in light of the cross. 00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:32.160 And so when we look back on fond things, we want to remember them rightly in light of the cross. 00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:42.720 When George looks back on that BMW incident, I want him to remember rightly and in light of the cross, which he hasn't remembered rightly. 00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:47.200 Go ahead, give us give us thoughts. 00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:55.039 They're never completely accurate. 00:26:57.039 --> 00:26:59.279 Like we'll never remember anything completely right. 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:00.640 Totally. 00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:07.119 And and there is no sense in which we're ever going to do this perfectly. 00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:10.559 We will never purify our hearts and our memories perfectly. 00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:24.720 No clue why his family is being destroyed. 00:27:28.240 --> 00:27:29.680 Give us more thoughts. 00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:32.400 Well, how would you work with George? 00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:40.319 How would you work with someone who's there's there's two questions. 00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:42.480 One is how do you work with George? 00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:45.519 The other is how do you work with seven-year-old George? 00:27:47.279 --> 00:27:50.160 I don't know where the kids are at the minute, right? 00:27:51.759 --> 00:28:08.240 But they're getting to the age where they are forming stories, their memories are processing, their spiritual stomachs are kicking in, and they, in front of our faces, are forming stories that will shape them for the rest of their days. 00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:11.599 And I'm a parent. 00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:16.559 One of my biggest jobs is to watch those stories happening. 00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:20.799 And it's not a case of trying to stop a bad story happening. 00:28:21.279 --> 00:28:22.799 The bad stories will happen. 00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:28.000 Doesn't matter how good a family you're from, doesn't matter how good a parent you are, the bad stories are going to happen. 00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:38.720 What I want to teach my girls is to see them for what they are and to spend their life seeing them and retelling them in light of God's grace. 00:28:39.599 --> 00:28:43.680 And so with George, and let me tell you, that's really hard. 00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:50.240 It's really hard, even when you have the relatively blank canvas and it's happening in real time. 00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:55.920 When you've multiplied 30 years of that story being told, it's really hard. 00:28:56.400 --> 00:29:07.119 And so one of the things, um if if you're asking practically, one of the things you have to be careful of is I asked you to remember a memory that was really sad. 00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:08.559 I do that, remember at the start? 00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:10.880 I do that with fear and trembling. 00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:17.599 Because if you've been through some pretty bad stuff, that can just be overwhelming. 00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:25.200 And so with George, you have to be, I can't, I can't walk up to George, listen to him for three hours and say, got it. 00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:27.039 Here's the problem. 00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:29.680 Because it would make it worse. 00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:47.200 Um and so it's um it's it's working with him at whatever pace we can, but what I want to get to is for George, can you see that that your memory as a seven-year-old kid is shaping so much? 00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:49.920 I want us to retell that story. 00:29:50.559 --> 00:30:07.680 And and so with um uh with with George, um I want to walk him through as if Jesus was walking with him to say, um George, I want us to go back to that tractor and I want us to interpret it right. 00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:12.000 See that look, that look you've been running from your whole life, that was not about you. 00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:15.039 Your father loved you and he hated himself. 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.240 And he was trying his best, but bitterness got in there. 00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:25.599 And and George, um, every time you go with your family, you're going to be scared of your father's look. 00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:30.079 And every time you feel that, George, here's what I want to say, here's what I want you to say. 00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:33.839 My heavenly father sees me and it is safe to be seen. 00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:43.119 And see, every time you're at a birthday party and you see yourself looking at the door, I want you to tell yourself, my heavenly father sees me and it is safe to be seen. 00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:46.559 I am where he wants me to be. 00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:52.559 Because knowing that the story exists doesn't make it go away. 00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:58.960 For George, this is a lifelong, he is going to have to unpick this story. 00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:09.119 And it's and it's deep, deep in the soul, which means if I even if I explain it to him, that doesn't stop it being real. 00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:12.319 And so you have to give him the tools. 00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:14.799 Here's when the lies are going to kick in. 00:31:14.880 --> 00:31:23.200 When you have your date night, you're going to have one eye on the door, and I want you to remind yourself your Heavenly Father sees you and it's safe to be seen, and you're exactly where you're supposed to be. 00:31:23.359 --> 00:31:24.319 Sit on it. 00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:31.519 And giving him tools to retell that story. 00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:37.440 A better story, a more gracious story, a more truthful story. 00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:39.920 Hit us with more thoughts. 00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:48.559 From George's point of view, so let's say he doesn't want to admit to other people. 00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:53.519 Would there be any way of kind of introspection for him to self-diagnose? 00:31:54.720 --> 00:32:03.839 Here's the thing of um, do you remember the purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but the one who is inside draws them out, is flipping hard. 00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:10.480 Um I know George, he no, he he doesn't stand a chance. 00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:14.480 He hasn't got a clue what's going on with him. 00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:25.519 Now, if you're talking to someone who is particularly spiritual aware and knows themselves, I want to say there's at least a chance. 00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:36.240 Um but it's a chance, it's an uphill battle, and it's one of the beautiful things of God's people. 00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:47.759 That in the same way, you know, if you want the whole council of God taught, you say to Mark, please be our preacher, because that's really hard. 00:32:48.640 --> 00:32:58.319 Um, let me tell you, it is easier to unpack Ephesians than it is to execute someone's soul. 00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:01.519 And and so I want to say yes in principle. 00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:06.880 I'm not sure I've met many people who could do it. 00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:28.799 Um, and and that is where the people of God come in, where there's a reason Proverbs says, but the one who is inside draw, we're talking about people who have, you know, when it comes to this, there are people who have skill and sophistication to handle this in a beautiful way. 00:33:30.480 --> 00:33:37.680 Well, to have that same skill and sophistication in handling someone's soul is really, really hard. 00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:44.480 Um and and it's why we need the people of God. 00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:51.599 And and here's the thing: ever since the Garden of Eden, Adam, where are you? 00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:54.880 I was hiding because I was naked. 00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:05.759 Oh, we're all hiding, and we are scared to be seen, and particularly by God, but also by other people. 00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:23.599 And and and this is the amazing thing about the gospel of um it is safe to be seen by our Heavenly Father, and but often the same way we we need preachers to help us who have the skill and sophistication with God's word. 00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:28.960 We need people who have insight into the deep recesses of our soul to help us. 00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:32.400 Give us more thoughts, questions. 00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:48.239 Like, what are the good avenues of doing that? 00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:49.920 Like, is it going to a therapist? 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:51.360 Is it going to like a doctor? 00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:54.320 Is it going to smaller spiritual friends? 00:34:54.400 --> 00:35:06.559 Because I feel like personally, if I was in a position for someone opening up to me, then I would feel like afraid that I'll make things worse by falling there and then not being able to be here. 00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:07.360 Totally. 00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:14.559 Because see those memories that have been buried, they've been buried for a reason, because they are too painful to engage. 00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:21.039 Now they don't die, they fester and become a zombie monster destroying your life. 00:35:21.440 --> 00:35:23.920 But at least you don't feel them. 00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:27.599 That a lot of these memories are unbearable. 00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:39.039 And yes, if you lift the tomb on that, and you're not ready to handle it, and because of that, most of those tombs are just closed. 00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:43.360 And the pain just goes there, numbed below the surface. 00:35:43.599 --> 00:35:54.480 Um, and and and and so uh, yes, finding those people, and and the best way I can describe it is you know, you know someone who can handle God's word. 00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:56.400 You see it, you know it. 00:35:57.199 --> 00:36:03.679 Well, you know when you find someone who can have that same skill and sophistication with someone's heart. 00:36:04.559 --> 00:36:11.840 Um, and in days gone by, like um therapy is a relatively new thing. 00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:14.159 When I say new, I mean I'm old. 00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:30.079 So um and one of the places that therapists went to see this was the Christians of the past, because they were the ones who did the cure for the soul. 00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:40.480 And it's one of the things that our particular generation of Christians think that's what we contract out. 00:36:40.639 --> 00:36:44.239 And because of that, we're not very good at doing it anymore. 00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:54.239 And and and so, yes, sometimes it it does mean, but there's the understanding that if you go to a secular third, they won't understand sin and they won't understand grace. 00:36:54.639 --> 00:36:59.599 But they have developed some skills, at least to uncover what's going on. 00:36:59.760 --> 00:37:10.880 And what kills me is that they looked to us in centuries gone by to say, look at these boys, they're actually they're actually dealing with people's souls. 00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:26.320 Um uh and so I would love this to be more common than it is, but that sense of we've settled for a lot of dealing with behavior. 00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:31.840 Right, George, go to this party, do this day at night, do this, this, this, and this. 00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:37.760 When uh the purposes of a person's heart are deep waters. 00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:43.599 As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. 00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:47.920 Give us more thoughts. 00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:09.119 When we don't have to know why it would have done it. 00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:16.719 How does a pickle in order to come up on somebody that would do it? 00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:18.880 How do we approach them? 00:38:19.119 --> 00:38:26.559 How do we have students in scripture being able to unlock that Pandora's box for this person? 00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:34.000 It is somebody named that's a big skeptical about scripture globally. 00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.440 Where do we approach how do we approach that? 00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:39.280 There's a few things in there. 00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:42.400 So one prayer's got to be at the heart of it. 00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:55.360 Number one, for someone to help him see it, but even if he sees it, that doesn't matter a jot unless he believes that the gospel is the Bam of Gilead for wounded souls. 00:38:55.519 --> 00:38:55.840 Okay? 00:38:56.239 --> 00:39:02.239 But number one, with George in particular, he thinks his life has fallen apart and it's a mystery to him. 00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:06.960 What I want to get to across to George is this is a day of hope. 00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:09.760 Because this isn't the end of the story. 00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:15.280 This could be the start of him and his family actually experiencing freedom. 00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:22.639 And I want to get hope pumping through his veins that actually this isn't the end of his story. 00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:24.480 This could be the start. 00:39:24.719 --> 00:39:28.800 Because there has been stuff poisoning his soul that he's unaware of. 00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:34.559 And today, as his marriage is, is the papers are being filed, this can be fixed. 00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:36.639 And I don't know if his marriage will last. 00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:42.719 I hope it will, but this could be the start of a freedom for George he has never known. 00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:45.039 And I hope with his family. 00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:48.480 And the first thing I want to do is inject hope. 00:39:49.119 --> 00:40:24.159 And and and and for that to be soaked in prayer, both that we can help him figure out what is the problem, but even if we figure that out, unless he's ready, you can explain it in all its clarity, and it will not do a jot unless he is in that, do you know, the the broken and contrite spirit, that humility before God that says, I I want to be seen, and I want to grow, and I want to be the person you want me to be. 00:40:25.039 --> 00:40:36.480 Um and and and and as with everything, you know, the Philippians 2, work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to act. 00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:49.920 Where I I want to work out with fear and trembling how to help George and praying that God will be at work both to will and to act. 00:40:50.639 --> 00:40:56.480 But I don't just want to say, George, I'll pray for you, off you go. 00:40:57.360 --> 00:41:02.159 Nor do I just want to say, right, George, I've got all the answers for you, A, B, C, off you go. 00:41:02.639 --> 00:41:05.280 I want it soaked in prayer. 00:41:06.320 --> 00:41:15.599 And and I want him to talk to someone who has the insights into the deep waters of his heart. 00:41:19.280 --> 00:41:20.800 Give us more thoughts. 00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:30.320 I'm interested in George's life. 00:41:33.199 --> 00:41:40.320 Because the story is saying George doesn't even know that everything he's dealing with is from that many seven-year-old board. 00:41:40.559 --> 00:41:46.320 Now, this is a wife who loves her husband and wants to leave her mind for the story. 00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:52.559 She also doesn't really know that the baggage she's dealing with is the function of the seven-year-old boys. 00:41:54.800 --> 00:41:57.199 So, how does she also find herself? 00:41:57.360 --> 00:42:01.280 Because the truth is that's a memory that has come to her. 00:42:01.519 --> 00:42:06.800 She's going to work out of memory, it doesn't work, and that's a memory that she's carrying with her. 00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:11.519 Which if she doesn't manage well, also turns into another story. 00:42:12.719 --> 00:42:19.280