Space for Renascence with Rebecca Steele: Reconnecting with Self and Setting Boundaries

Welcome to Space for Renascence. This podcast is a series of quiet, honest conversations about the reality of personal transformation and the courage it takes to return to yourself when you realise you are no longer living authentically.

In this episode, host Felicity Williams discusses the transition from a life of high-pressure "doing" to a life of intentional "being." We look at the physical and mental cost of constant over-extension and how hitting a wall of total overwhelm can be the catalyst for a fundamental change in how we view ourselves and our time.

Through lived experience , we explore the shift from a high-stakes career in synthetic chemistry to a grounded life in Italy. This conversation is for anyone who feels they have become a shell of themselves through work and societal pressure, and is looking for a way to triage their priorities and start again.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Non-Linear Career: Moving away from the idea that we must stay in one professional channel and instead building a diverse toolbox of skills.
• Physical Warning Signs: Recognising when the body is in overdrive and the importance of seeking professional support before reaching burnout.
• Generation Lessons: Drawing on the simple, practical wisdom of our elders to find a sense of calm and happiness in the present day.
• The Power of Stillness: Why taking the time to stop, breathe, and journal is essential for understanding what you actually need, rather than what you think you should want.
• Authentic Boundaries: Practising the courage to say "no more" to the rat race to protect your own wellbeing and family life.

Space for Renascence is about the journey of becoming who we are meant to be. We hope this conversation gives you the room to reflect on your own path and the quiet changes happening in your life.

Connect with Rebecca Steele:

• Business: MayLuminate Coaching

Connect with the Podcast:

• Host: Felicity Williams
• Podcast: Space for Renascence

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to Space for Renaissance. I'm your host, Felicity Williams. This is a space where we explore the shifts in perspective that lead us towards a more grounded and authentic life. Today I'm joined by Dr. Rebecca Steele. Rebecca began her career as a scientist in synthetic organic chemistry, but a spark of curiosity eventually led her from the laboratory in the UK to a new life in northern Italy. Over the last two decades, she has navigated a fantastic journey through the world of science, business and motherhood. Rebecca, thank you for being here today. How are you feeling in your world today?

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Hi, Flick. It's really good to talk to you today. I've had a lovely weekend, a really good start to the day, and I'm feeling pretty energetic and raring to go for the week.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

We had a wonderful conversation last week. To start us off, would you like to begin sharing how you've come to where you are today?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Well, let's say it's been a pretty crazy and long journey over the last 22 odd years since I moved to Italy. So I finished basically a PhD back in 2003 at Bristol. Uh, it was in synthetic organic chemistry. And our group was a very large research group there. It was extremely multicultural. We were less English people than what you might call foreigners. So people from all sides of different countries, in Europe, people out in Asia. We had a real mixed bunch of a group, but it was beautiful. And it was a wonderful wave into cultural awareness. And in fact, while I was still doing my PhD, I went for a holiday in Rome with a friend. We went for 10 days, it's in the first year we were in the lab, and we had the most amazing time. And I fell in love with Italy. I said, God, I've got to learn this language because I want to go back. So I started actually learning the language while I was still studying my PhD. I went to night school, adult language classes, and I started learning the language. Fast forward to the end of my PhD, which I had to finish up in a really, really, really fast way because I gained a Marie Curie individual fellowship to go and work essentially as a postdoc at the University in Milan with a professor who was very well known in his field at the time. So I had to literally write my thesis in about a month, a month and a half, so I had the final exam in time for getting the fellowship because that was a crazy, crazy period. Um I came out to Milan in 2004, it was into February, coming out the first time just to visit the place because we had to get a permission to stay, a kind of a residence permit and all sorts of things going on at the time. So I had to come out before I started working. It was a really cold, damp, foggy day. And I remember thinking, what the hell am I letting myself in for here? It was like freezing through to your bones through the coat I had. It was only a wool coat. And I'm thinking, okay, I'm gonna have to get myself a better coat to live out here. That's the only thing, at least in the winter. Anyway, so I literally just threw myself into another culture from the life I'd always known in England. And I'd let's say I'd always perhaps describe myself as a bit of a home girl. I'd never wanted to venture too far from home. I felt uncomfortable, I was quite attached to my family. So moving away already to Bristol for a doctorate was already quite something going out of my comfort zone. So it really was coming out of the comfort zone when I moved to Milan, and let's say that was sparked a lot also by the holiday uh I took in Rome and also by the people in the group because we had a lot of Italians in there, and they were really lovely, lovely bunch of people. So anyway, I found myself out here. Um in the end, I I got on quite well. I had a bit of basic language, but it was crazy because here the Italians don't really speak much in the way of English, only some people speak English. So I really did have to learn the language, otherwise it was gonna be I can't live and work normally without actually being able to communicate properly. So it really was a push to just emerge myself in another language and a culture, which I managed to do. It took a bit of time, and I remember the first month having this enormous headache trying to understand what people were telling me. I was supposed to be replying to them by translating from English to Italian in my head initially. And then at the end of the day, it's like, okay, well, I can't be perfect here because otherwise I'm not going to be understood. So I need to make myself understood somehow. It doesn't matter if I get it wrong, perfection image thing that perhaps I would have had when I was back in my study days trying to do everything perfectly. Just say something, anything, gesture like they do, just make yourself understood. It doesn't matter if the sentence structure's wrong, it doesn't matter. As long as you're actually understood. And that actually was quite a shift in mindset when I think about it, because going from thinking that I always have to do something really well to do it to just doing it and getting a result anyway, it just shows you what you can achieve when you just get on and try. Because it's just the trying, it's like jumping in and doing it that helps you to move forward and move through difficulties, I think, sometimes. So that was actually a really big learning thing for me. So I ended up staying out here after my two-year postdoc and continued in the world of biotech out here, and then moved from the lab into into business development licensing at the time, and then moved also around in some other life sciences companies for business development, sales, marketing, literally moved from the dark side. So they say when you've come out of the lab, you and you go into business, you go to the dark side or the marketing, it's the dark side, but it's actually a lot of fun because you learn new skills along the way. So I think that career paths are not as we used to think of them now. Many people think that you had to have a linear career path, you had to go from you know, in a company and you had to progress through that company and then get a better position or move companies, but always in the same field and stay there. Well, now it's very translational, it's very uh adding skills to your toolbox. The more things you can do and the more experiences you can have to add to that enriches your life much more than if you were to just stay in one little box. Sometimes staying in the tunnel, it can seem like the perfect way to go in work life. Often so many of us don't do that now, especially now. I think we're all a bit more open to having a cross-area experience and using and pulling in on those tools for solving different problems in different areas. It really is an enrichment in your life when you have this possibility. I'm still out here and I've had some other experiences in my life, and I can fast forward to about 2012. I was married at the time, and I had a husband, and things weren't going great, like saying things weren't brilliant. We discovered that my husband was completely sterile essentially. We thought we were gonna have a family, and that that led him to just going in to himself. He didn't want to go out, he didn't want to go meet people, he didn't want to do anything anymore. And we changed during that period. It was a very, very, very difficult period uh in our lives, and we essentially grew apart because we weren't talking anymore. I threw myself into my passion with horses, so I've always loved to ride horses since I was a child. I went out riding practically every day in the end because I had a husband who was really just not really present anymore. So that was a difficult moment. It was a kind of a very strange moment because something else happened that I wasn't expecting. And sometimes things happen that you're not expecting. It can really just surprise you, they just come in front of you and you're not thinking ever thinking about these things. And there was me happily riding, I was taking dressage lessons at the time. I had this beautiful Andalusian stallion I used to ride, and the next thing I know is there's this guy on a big black stallion starting to talk to me and going, Oh my horse uh thinks you're great, or something like this. Something really strange happened because I just wasn't really, I didn't have my eyes open at the time. I was just so concentrated on riding with like loving the horses and trying to do what I loved. Essentially, what happened was lightning must have struck in that period because next thing I know I'm getting a divorce essentially. I'm realising things are not working, and yeah, there's this really great guy who shares a passion with me and just came along completely unexpectedly. What do you do? You think, well, everybody expects me to conform to the standards of society, you know, marriage, you you stay where you are. Yeah, my parents, I think my mother didn't speak to me for months when I said that's it, I'm I'm leaving, I'm leaving my husband because we can't carry on like this, it's just not right. And she had to get over it. I said, Well, I'm not doing something that somebody else wants me to do anymore. I'm gonna do what I feel is right for me at the end of the day. Because if you don't reconnect to yourself, if you're in a situation that is stagnant, that is not taking you anywhere, why do you have to stay in that situation? We went our our separate ways amicably. He really wasn't in a very good place either, my ex-husband, but I I hope the world that he's he's got and gone where he needs to go as well now. But I realized that I just couldn't stay where I wasn't well, where I wasn't myself anymore. I've become a shell of myself. So I found the possibility to live again, to reconnect with myself, to feel alive. People are trying to make me feel guilty about this, but what I have to do, live until I'm not. No, I can't do that, it just didn't feel right. So I followed my own instincts and my own path, and and it led me to feel so alive again at that time. It was a really wonderful moment, I must say. We did so many things, and we went to so many different places on a motorbike tour around Tuscany and just doing great things that I hadn't done much in the last years. I've just been in this sort of stagnant pond, if you want to call it. Just reconnected with who I really was, and we used to go out riding together on the motorbike, visiting places, going up to the mountains, going to different seaside places, and just really understanding what life really was again, what life is for, just experiencing being in the now, in fully present. That happened back in 2012, 2013. We were very happy together, me and my new partner, and carried on with my work life and enjoyed that. Fast forward to 2016, I actually became a mum of twins, and that in itself was not an easy path as well. I actually went through IVF three times, which was extremely difficult for me. I had a loss as well. I was the child at 13 weeks when we discovered that it had the called A crania that was missing part of the head. And that was a bit of a down moment, but we picked ourselves up, we carried on. And the last time I went through IVF and implanted a blastocyst that I had frozen, I said, Well, this is the last time I'm gonna try it. This is our last one. If this doesn't work, I'm happy just to carry on with life as it is. If it's not meant to happen, it's not meant to happen. And it did happen. I remember when we went to the first scan from the doctor saying, How many did you implant? And at that point, I just knew it's divided, hasn't it? I said yes. And the look on my partner's face was priceless, absolutely priceless. Oh my goodness. Really? We couldn't believe it. We were just happy to even have one, and suddenly it was two. My parents came over to stay with us for some months as well, just to help me cope because it was just myself, my partner at the time, was working usually evenings and nights. So I needed somebody around to help me when I was literally going through cycles of breastfeeding one, breastfeeding the other, expressing milk, and then starting all over again with maybe half an hour or an hour of sleep in the middle. And I think I was some kind of walking zombie at the time, but I even went into having hallucinations at some point. It was a crazy experience, a bit of a roller coaster, so really, really, really joyful. Just thinking now my little boys are coming up for 10 very soon, and I can't believe it's like 10 years have gone past that it's it was such an experience. That was definitely a very life-changing experience because it was learning how to cope when I was mostly also by myself, but we didn't have a support network close by. So my parents were in the UK, really. My mother-in-law wasn't close by, she was nearly two hours away, and so we didn't have much in the way of help. But you just get through life, moves you on, and it helps you grow, it helps you realize what you need to organize to carry on. It was a joy and a struggle, probably I can describe coming into twin motherhood because one would have been a much much easier, but I I managed somehow. Let's say the military-like organization was probably the only thing that kept us on track because it would have been just chaotic otherwise. Yeah, that was quite an experience. They grow, you get through these things, and there is uh you do come out the other side, so that's hopeful of any other twin mums out there or other mothers of more than twins as well, because I can't imagine having even more than two at the same time. So, I mean, when I think back, there's now say a thought moment in my life that I can say was quite changing for me, and that was when back early 2024, uh I nearly hit the wall. So I was so overwhelmed with work. I was working very hard at the time. I'd been working in marketing for a company close to Milan, the life sciences company. And in the end, I was doing crazy. I was trying to get everything done, I was working on events, we had deadlines so that couldn't be moved. Um, I was continuously on my computer late in the evenings while trying to look after children as well. I worked a lot remotely too, so that was quite helpful. But still, when you have to try and work 10 odd hours a day and look after children, I was by myself in the evening, I part of the time. Um he worked, and I just got to the point where work was starting to overtake my life, and that was becoming quite unhealthy. I had so much going on, uh, trying to juggle all the responsibilities, and somebody had even persuaded me at the beginning of primary school to be the class representative as well. I even had all these things going on, were following kids through school because they still get homework in primary school. Here they give them homework. There's sport, Tatum to basketball two or three times a week, try and just keep everything together, and that was it. I just went into to to overdrive, and something happened that I was just becoming somebody who I really wasn't. I was not myself anymore. I was really impatient with my kids and my partner, which are the people closest to me, suffered more. Then I started suffering myself because I don't know if it was the age at the time. I'm now 48, come back from years. I essentially in that phase where your your hormones are probably changing drastically as well. So, what pre-menopause, perimenopause, transition moment. And probably when I think about the combination of that plus being overloaded with work and to keep family together and everything else just became too much. Probably my cortisol was through the roof. And I struggled, and something came out in me that hadn't come out for a long time when I was under a lot of pressure, when I was a teenager, when I was studying for A levels, I felt the need to get things right the whole time, and things weren't working out with my physics A-level. I just had struggling because I was doing three sciences and all the maths, and I needed the math to do the physics, and I couldn't get my head around it. I and in that period I did something that I can say I'm very ashamed of myself. It was taboo at the time, and nobody really speaks about it. People still don't really talk about it much, but I actually started self-harming. And then I don't ask me why. It was very light, it was just a kind of a physical release to the stress, the pressure that I felt. I say it was probably the release of pressure. It passed with the pressure, fortunately. So, or it's only ever manifested in moments where I've been completely overwhelmed, and that my my overreaction perhaps has been to do that very, very few times in my life. Anyway, it came out again when I was under complete pressure, felt that I was a failure, not performing, not not being there for anybody, failing as a mum, failing at work, and and behold, it this this behavior started to come out, and then I realized no, I can't do this, I can't do this anymore. I'm trying to be somebody, I'm not, I must stop this. This has got to change. This needs to stop. So I realized fortunately in time, I went to see my doctor. I went to see a very good psychologist just to get over this trauma, get over this stress that was taking hold of me and learn how to cope with it in a different way. So not go towards coping mechanisms like drugs, antipsychotics or things like that, and go through talk therapy to really just get past this period because it really wasn't a black moment for me. I was in a bad place essentially, and I didn't want to be in that bad place any longer. So I went through the psychology cycle and it worked, it helped me to see that what I needed to do was triage my priorities, that I did exist, that I did have my own need to be able to turn up through anybody else. Towards the summer of 2024, actually by chance I came across a lady on LinkedIn called Victoria who was posting quite a bit of stuff that was really wow. She really does resonate with me. I might connect with her and just follow her for a while and see what she does. She was a coach, and I've never done coaching in my life. So why don't we give this a go? I don't know what it's going to do for me, but I'm really happy just to have a go. I can probably say that that was the thing that took me away from the psychology part. I'm out of the bad trauma part, and I can really get my life back on track, get where I think I need to be, wherever, just go to flourishing. So from that scale of psychology from the minus 10 to the plus 10, go from the zero, being sort of okay again. This is a good life. You want to live now, not wait till I retire and then live life. No, I want to be present in the now and be happy. And this is the year that I started thinking about my nan again. My nan left me back in 2023, and she was a really good old age of 98, and she was the most wonderful woman in my life. She really was my role model. She was such a joyous, illuminating woman. Her name was May. We all called her Maisie, and obviously I called her. Now with the heart and soul of the party, if there was one, she she walked into a room, she lit that room up. Everybody knew she was there. She was such a joy to be with, but she was a simple joyous woman. She'd gone through traumas as well, so she'd nearly died when she tried to have my mum. She was so tiny. She worked in a bar, hotel, restaurant in the north of England during the war and served people with a big smile on her face. She worked long hours. She was a real worker, and then she worked at school with children as a canteen lady. And she worked with my granddad taking them to and fro from in the school bus as well. He used to drive the school bus when they were they were sort of semi-retired. They never really did want to retire. She loved children, and when I was little, she always used to play with me. We used to play city games in the back garden. And we used to play Badminton a lot as well, back in the times of when Wimbledon was on as well. This is back in the 80s. She always used to be Martina wrapping over, and I was Chrissy Everett. We had a well of a time, and then there was all the bird watching we did. And she had a load of birds in her garden. She was in a very country type place. And they used to have all nest in her garden, and she had robins nesting in her shed. She had blackbirds that used to come and tap on the window to be let in because they wanted some raisins. So she used to feed them some raisins. They used to come into the kitchen and get the raisins. And we used to feed them. And once she even rescued a sparrow that had fallen down a drain pipe, and she brought it over to us one time in a little box. We said, What's in the box then? And this little thing came out cheap, cheap, cheap, with its big mouth coming out of the sock in the box with the paper. Oh, that paper's there because it does its little needs to in the paper. And she used to feed this little bird and she she brought it up until it flew away one day. And she's this amazing woman. And she really did bring a certain philosophy to life. And her philosophy was be happy. She used to say to me, just be happy. I used to go and sit and talk to her because we were a bit like accomplices in life. We used to get quite up to quite a bit of mischief and go on these nature walks and things. And she used to just say, just be happy. Don't worry about anything else. Just be happy. That's all you need. And this I was thinking about during the times when I've been through this dark moment. I thought, yeah, she's right. That's where I need to go. I need to come back to myself. I need to return to myself. Follow what my inside instincts are telling me. Cut out all the noise. Give myself permission to stop. Give myself permission to breathe. And really just listen to what's inside of me. Who am I here to be? Who am I really here to be? I can try constantly to be somebody else who I'm not. And this is what I realized I was trying to do it with. And I realized this when I was going through coaching. So Victoria coached me a brilliant woman, Victoria Higgins, this lovely, lovely lady. And she coached me for well, I still have sessions with her because she's a lovely person. And she really does get me thinking. She's very thoughtful working for me. She essentially helped me pull out what was inside of me, what I didn't know was inside of me. And I thought, yes, I can go towards being happy. Yes, I can give myself permission to stop. So we gave ourselves permission to stop last year. I married my partner last year. We decided to get married, decided to give ourselves some time and some space that we needed from a family. So I concentrated a lot more on my family. I put in some really healthy boundaries between work, my family, so I could be with them, wanting to be with them, take out time for myself, start to exercise. I've been going to I started doing Pilates twice a week as well. I actually started looking after myself again. Because I think if I don't look after myself, I'm not going to be informed to look after anybody else. A little bit of myself, I need to concentrate on that as well. So everybody needs to look after themselves. You just can't show up, perform at work. You can't show up and be there for your loved ones and just be yourself last year. I came, I really did start to come back to myself. I spent a three-week holiday down in the southwest of Sardinia in a little island off there called Sant'Antioco. It's a beautiful place, really, really amazing. Good amaldives, nothing to be envious of the most absolutely amazing place. And I spent time floating, snorkeling in the waters, and just letting the water take hold of me, coming back to myself and feeling again, and feeling that I was there, feeling the cool water, seeing the beautiful marine life, seeing the beauty of this earth, this planet we're on, is just shows us some amazing things sometimes. And understanding, well, yeah, what what what's inside of me? I need to follow that. What I actually need, and I journaled every day for three weeks. What I need, not what I thought I needed. So actually, what I do need is time. I thought I needed like a bigger, better job, more recognition, more pay. That's what most people think they need, you know, to more and more and more and more. And the society is getting so fast-paced, so full of anger as well. And everybody's running the whole time. And well, well, stop. Why do we have to run so much? Why can't we just stop and think? You can't perform if you can't stop and think. Time to stop and think is critical. Do anything well. If you're under pressure the whole time, do nothing well. So, really, I came back to myself in the last year. And I said to myself, strangely enough, at the beginning of the year, I said, Well, I'm gonna find a way of my situation by the end of the year. I didn't know how at the beginning, but something's gotta change, will change, and it did. And that's when I found the foundation course for coaching and positive psychology. So I tried it, and that was Victoria's fault. She put me up to that one. She said, Why don't you have a look at this? Just casually one day. I was like, Oh, what's this? So I had a look. I thought, wow, this is interesting. I've just been curious about people's psychology and what makes them work, what makes them tick, what what makes you tick, how our brains work. I'm gonna follow this instinct. So I decided in October to sign myself up for coaching and positive psychology declining, a six-month course. It was the best thing I could never have done. I met the most amazing people, and it's just been the most eye-opening, insight-provoking that I really needed. So I've just finished my diploma, so I'm now a qualified coach, which I'd never thought about. I'd never even imagined that I'd go and do that. And what I found is that me to access the thing that I needed the most, which was time. Time to think, time to be myself, time to give to others, time to dedicate to what is important, and time to gift others that possibility to tap into themselves and unleash their potential. And that is a beautiful gift. Since I've been coaching, I've been doing many hours for this diploma coaching people. I've had the most beautiful experiences and seeing somebody illuminate when they realize that perhaps what they believe is just made up in their heads, that perhaps they had some fixed idea that wasn't true, and just seeing somebody have space down their whole brain, even. They need that space, maybe. They've not had the experience of being listened to. Having someone really truly listen to you is such an experience. I've been through coaching myself. I've had someone coach me, I know what it's like. Giving that to somebody else can be truly illuminating for them. And I feel it's also to me because I feel like I'm giving something to them. I'm giving them what they need, giving them the time they need to understand themselves and understand where they really want to go. And when I started my coaching journey with it, I was completely stuck. Like I just knew something had to change, but I didn't know what. And slowly surely I just worked through quite a few possibilities in the end. And I had quite a few thoughts and ideas that I tried to follow along the way and that perhaps didn't work out or I realised they weren't quite right. And I came to this and it was right for me at the end. And I think everybody has the possibility to tap into themselves, and it's beautiful. So what I've done was I actually started my own freelance business in February, and this business actually carries my nan with me. My nan's coming on this journey with me because she was the most joyous person and my role model, and I want to go and give that joy, her joy, my joy, to others. And let them say, yes, it's possible to stop running, stop the rap race for a moment and understand yourself what you really need. Give yourself permission to breathe and ask yourself, who am I here to be? Who am I really? Am I trying to be somebody that I'm not? And what is that doing to me if I'm trying to be somebody I'm not? So my nan is the key motivator in my life. So I've actually called my business May Luminate. So she was called May. And Luminate all comes from kind of illumination. So it's a combination of the two. And it just felt right. It felt right to me. So this is my thing now, my joy. And I really hope that I can go out there and help other women in the time that they're feeling stuck, that they're feeling that life is just on top of them, they're overwhelmed, maybe they're going through the perimenopause as well. So your woman's all over the place. It contributes quite significantly to a lot of stress, as well as the outside stressing factors like work or trying to juggle everything and what society expects of you and the pressures here and there, and and trying to conform to everything, maybe that you don't even want to or need to conform to. So this is what I'm setting up to do now. And it gives me an energy and a calm that is amazing. And I hope that I can really gift that to somebody else in that moment where they're just screaming inside, going, I can't do this anymore. I need to get myself out of this situation, out of my box, stop. There's something not right.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

And I hope that I can help other people reconnect with themselves because this is this is now all our journeys and all our lives take these big highs and these big dips. And with your share, you've really shown everyone that you've had the positive outcomes having your twins. Beautiful, beautiful babies, and that came after a period a period of grief. And from what I've heard, from what you've been saying, is it is so easy, and I've experienced this myself to get stuck in the right race, to feel like you have to conform to society and you have to do what your parents think, or you work things, and it builds up and it builds up and it builds up. And so you can start off thinking, oh, I'll just get this job and I'll get married and I'll have babies. And saying it sounds quite light and easy, but actually you get into that job, and then once you're in that job, you have more and more work put on you, and you're expected to do more hours until you get to the point where there's just no pieces of you left to give. And so, from what you're saying now is just stop, stop and take that step back and actually allow yourself the space to breathe. And I think that's what you've shown here, and bringing your nan in. So, how are you and your nan going to share this love and new perspective with people?

SPEAKER_01 33:49

I really think that we don't have to be complicated. And my nan when she was still with us, she was not a complicated person. Sometimes less is more, really, it's the courage to just say stop, it's the courage to say no more. That's enough. I will do what I feel is important to me. And it's having that courage to make that step and just understand when something isn't right anymore. Also, your body tells you a lot of things, and if you don't listen to it, you get to burn out and you hit that wall, you are not in a good place.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

There's also having that courage to understand that actually boundaries, putting boundaries in for yourself, especially in a working environment, protects you and actually allows you to give more. It's not you saying, no, I don't want to do those jobs, no, I don't want to take more on. It's actually you realizing that you have a certain amount of battery that you can give to certain tasks. And if you're giving every single bit of energy to that one task that just keeps asking for more, how are you gonna go home and cook a meal and spend an enjoying evening with your family, putting your children to bed? It does take from you more than sometimes you're willing to give, but you don't see it creeping in, do you? And you have to uh go run to the necessary repairs. Yeah, it really is just about I suppose it's also yeah, having the courage to realise in yourself what you actually want, who you want to be, and what you're willing to give to certain aspects of your life.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Absolutely. Why and why wait? Why wait until maybe you won't have your health? Maybe there will be other problems to think about. There's always gonna be problems in life, problem solving for something or another, whether it be uh at home or at work, we're always gonna be problem solving, but it's the moment to say, well, you know, that to do problem list is always gonna be infinite. But I have the power to say enough, now is enough, I stop here for now, and then tomorrow is another day, I can do something else. And it's that most people are running on their batteries and they're empty by the end of the day, and they're still trying to do things. Well, actually, that's the moment when you just need to say, Stop. No, I need to go and have a good night's sleep. I need to go and get some exercise. Because if I don't look after myself, then I'm not gonna be able to face the rest. And that's when you do hit that wall.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Absolutely. It's by being kind to yourself and understanding what your limits are and staying within those limits to protect yourself because I'm the same age as you, and I was running the rat race. And if you're constantly in burnout, when you get to retire, you've used everything up. Well how are you going to have that peace and that enjoyable time if by the time you've got there you're so exhausted and so burnt out that you know all you want to do is sit in a chair, watch TV. There's no that's not a life, is it?

SPEAKER_01 37:00

No, life is worth it to be lived now. So much more. Not tomorrow. Yeah, you don't know when tomorrow is gonna finish. So think about the now being present, be present for yourself, be present for those who you want to be present for, for those who you love, yeah, your family, your friends, yeah. And make it count, make it count. It really is all about it comes back to listening to yourself and doing that fundamental thing that we all do, which we don't realise because we do it automatically, and that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

Well, I think that it was an absolutely wonderful message, and I love the inspiration that you've brought from your nan and what you're gonna take forward. I think it sounds absolutely amazing. Thank you very much. I've really enjoyed your share today. Before we finish, just a gentle reminder to all our listeners the stories and insights shared here are deeply personal and are intended for your inspiration and reflection only. Please only take what truly resonates with your own heart and well being. Your journey is unique and it is important to always lean into what feels right when you're on your own path. To everyone tuning in, thank you for your time. I hope today's chat gave you a little more room to reflect on your own path of growth. We'll be back soon with more stories of beginning again. Take care. Thank you.