Ep 8: [Nudge] What Sounds Fun to You?

Life gets busy. Responsibilities get loud. And somewhere along the way, many of us stop noticing the little things that make us smile. In this episode, we're exploring what happens when we get curious about fun again—and why rediscovering it doesn't have to mean making big changes. Sometimes it starts with a couple simple questions.

Links: 

https://annmarieboyle.com/the-wonder-project/

www.annmarieboyle.com

Music from Uppbeat (https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/to-the-top), License code BC9SEN3G6PMABOA

Transcript

0:02

Welcome to I Used to be Fun, the podcast about remembering who you were before life got so serious. I'm Annmarie Boyle, author, creativity instigator, and recovering overachiever. And each week, we explore how reconnecting to creativity and play helps us feel more alive, inspired, and like ourselves again. So set down the to-do list, grab a cup of coffee, and let's go find some fun

Annmarie 0:40

This morning, before I even got out of bed, I was reading one of the Substack newsletters I subscribe to from author Beth Kempton, and about two-thirds of the way through, I stopped reading because of this paragraph: "I have been doing this each day since Monday, and part of me is like a small child tugging on a parent's shirt saying, 'This is fun." Can we do this every day?'" It immediately made me wonder how many of us have things in our lives that we enjoy so much that we'd want to do them every day. I asked myself that question and then immediately felt a little sheepish about the answer because a couple of nights ago, I looked at Dr. J across the table and said, "I don't think we're having much fun lately." And to his credit, he didn't get defensive. He didn't immediately start listing everything we do. He just looked at me and asked, "What is it that you want to do?" And I had absolutely nothing. I couldn't answer him, which surprised me because if I'm honest, we already do plenty of things I enjoy. We walk almost every day. We wander through the Japanese garden in our little town. We sit at the kitchen table with puzzle pieces spread everywhere, and we play games. And I genuinely enjoy my job. I love writing novels and recording this podcast. So it's not that the joy had disappeared. It was that I'd somehow lost track of what else belonged on my personal fun list. And I'm guessing I'm not alone in this because when I started thinking about why that list gets fuzzy, I kept landing on the same few culprits. Maybe, or likely, you'll recognize one of or more of them. Maybe the reason we've lost track of our personal fun list is that we're just out of practice. If you haven't intentionally looked for fun in a while, inertia can set in. It is so much easier after a long day to just flop on the couch, turn on Netflix, or scroll TikTok than it is to think, "You know what sounds fun? I really wanna bake something," and then haul yourself off the couch and actually do it But sometimes it's not inertia. Sometimes we need to recognize that we've genuinely changed, and the fun list needs a refresh, whether we're ready to admit it or not. I used to love to cook. I even went to culinary school for a period of time. But if I'm honest, and it is hard for me to admit this, not only do I not love it anymore, I don't even like it. So something I loved for years has to come off the fun menu. So now, not only do I have to haul myself off the couch, but I need to come up with new ideas too? And then just when you've figured out your new ideas, you come up with a few and realize you're a little embarrassed to say them out loud because maybe what you find fun, other people have opinions about. Maybe you're reading romance novels while everyone around you is talking about the latest thriller. Maybe you've found your old binoculars and are out bird watching. Maybe it's cross-stitch. Or, and I'm gonna go ahead and speak from personal experience here, it might be building Lego while the rest of the world insists it's a toy for kids. It is not. As much as we'd like to ignore other people's opinions, they do have a sneaky way of making us second-guess the things that light us up. Okay, so let's say you've made peace with the fun list, even the embarrassing items. You've owned your Lego collection and your romance novels and your bird watching binoculars. The next thing your very practical brain will do is to make sure you actually don't do any of it, and it has a few favorite excuses. Maybe we don't think we have the time. In a previous business, I built a manifesto for that business, and one of the things on it was the saying, "You don't find time, you make time." And I believe that. But I also know how easy it is to believe something and still not do it. I just finished recording an upcoming Playdate episode, and the biggest thing I took from the conversation was this: You need to choose yourself, and making time for things that you find fun is choosing yourself in the best possible way. And bonus points, it does allow you to give to others more fully too, because you've chosen to make the time to refill your own cup first. And here's the other thing our practical brain loves to do. It raises the stakes on us. Suddenly, fun can't just be fun. It has to be worthy of the time that we're carving out. like Fun has to be something big, like two weeks at the beach, yes please, or some other elaborate vacation. But you can have fun in 10 minutes, like when you take your coffee out on the porch before everyone else wakes up, or sitting with a book in the backyard, or choosing to take your dog on the longer trail instead of the shorter one Or maybe the real answer is simpler and harder than any of that. Maybe you honestly just can't identify the things you find fun anymore. Not because you're broken, but because you've been so busy being capable and impressive for so long, you just forgot to keep track. So how do we remember or start again? One way is to grab a journal or literally any piece of paper that's nearby, could be the back of an envelope, the grocery list you haven't finished yet, and just ask yourself some things. What did you love doing as a child? Nothing is off limits here. There is no age limit on making mud pies. Or what did you do with your college friends? Or what did 25-year-old you before you had kids fill her time with? Answer what you would do with a free hour just for yourself. Or what would you do for yourself if you found a hundred dollar bill on the ground and in order to pick it up, you had to spend it on yourself? Or, and this one can be quite telling, what do I secretly envy when someone else says they're doing it? And if your house is too loud and busy for this, I hereby give you official certified podcast episode permission to lock yourself in the bathroom for the next fifteen minutes. No one needs to know what you're doing in there. Set a timer for five, ten, or fifteen minutes, and don't stop writing until it dings. Then review the list. Something will pull at your heart or your imagination or both. Trust the thing that makes you smile before your practical brain talks you out of it And then actually do it. Do not file it under someday. Someday is where fun goes to gather dust. I recently had a friend tell me that if something wasn't on her calendar, she didn't do it. And if that's you too, put fun on your calendar. And if you need permission to start even sooner than that, Maybe before you listen to another podcast, maybe before you fold the laundry, maybe before your practical brain convinces you there are 17 more important things to do Maybe you take a bubble bath, or you pull out the watercolor set that's been sitting in your closet, or you dust off that board game you haven't played in five years. And yes, you can absolutely play games by yourself. I regularly play Bananagrams or Scrabble by myself. I either race the clock or I try to beat my own score. And if you're looking for bonus points, choose one thing that feels like a stretch. Maybe it's a pottery class at your local art center or a Saturday morning coffee date with a friend you've been meaning to call or a weekend away. Or if you're me, figuring out how to go standup paddleboarding without getting my insulin pump wet as I inevitably fall into the water I keep coming back to Beth's words, "This is fun. Can we do this every day?" I love that she described that voice as a little child tugging on a parent's sleeve because I don't think that voice ever really leaves us. I think life gets louder, responsibilities get louder, certainly other people's expectations get louder, and our own inner critic, well, that gets loud and starts to shout. And eventually, that means we just stop hearing that quieter voice that's asking for one more fun, joyful thing. So maybe this week we don't need to reinvent our lives. Maybe we simply need to notice when that little voice whispers, "That was fun." And instead of answering, Maybe we can do that someday," we answer, "Let's do it again." And if sitting down with a blank page feels like one more thing on the list, I made something for exactly that feeling. It's called The Wonder Project, and it's a four-week free email series full of tiny invitations back to curiosity, creativity, and play. There are journal prompts, little experiments, printable permission slips, and simple ideas that don't require a complete life overhaul. Just a willingness to pay attention to what makes you feel a little more alive. You can grab it using the link in the show notes. So until next time, I hope you choose one small thing this week simply because it's fun. Not because it counts, not because it's productive, just because somewhere inside you, a little voice is tugging on your sleeve saying, "Can we do that again?"