EP 12: Why I Stopped Partying in High School | Choosing Goals Over the Weekend Scene

She used to be the life of the party. Then she got alcohol poisoning at a festival. And everything shifted.

Harper is being completely honest in this episode — about what partying actually looked like, what it cost her, and the moment she realized that the version of her life she actually wanted didn't include any of it. This isn't a lecture. It's just her story, and what came after.

We talk about:

• What freshman and sophomore year party culture actually looks like
• The moment that made Harper rethink everything
• Why partying can feel exciting but leave you feeling empty
• Choosing deep friendships over big crowds
• What her life has looked like since — grades, goals, clarity

The highlight reel looks fun. The reality is a different conversation.

If you've ever felt pressured to show up to things that don't actually make you happy — or wondered if it's okay to just opt out — this episode is for you. Let us know in the comments where you're at with this. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to Rarely Said, the podcast where we talk about what everyone feels but not everyone says. I'm your host, Harper, and I'm so excited you're here. Today we're gonna talk about partying because I think it's a good topic to talk about. Especially because I've been in both situations. I used to go to parties all the time, my freshman and sophomore year, and then I did technically have a situation that made me want to stop, but now I can really realize it. And I'm not saying I like, oh my god, I don't go to parties, I'm so against them. I go maybe once every two months. Like I really don't enjoy it, so I usually don't. I wanted to talk about this because me and my best friend were actually talking about it in the car last night because we got invited to go out, and we were like, should we go? Like, we don't know. And then we decided to go get tacos and go on a drive. And we were talking about why would you want to go to a party with all these people? All they're doing is drinking or smoking, doing whatever, and you're with all these random people, everyone's just like basically, if you think about it, everyone is in a circle drinking and smoking and talking about probably dumb shit because everyone's drunk. And why would you pick that over hanging out with like your best friend and you go get food and you have a deep conversation that actually matters, and you can just like be with your person, and it's like so fun, and you have so much stuff to talk about. And I feel like that's so much better than like getting ready. Terrible, and then having to get ready, then figure out a ride if you're gonna be drinking and going to the party, and then for me, I would get anxious and want to leave after 15 minutes. So that's what I do, anyways. Like I I go, but I don't last that long, and then having to figure out a ride home, and then oh, if your friends are gonna sleep over, like all of that stuff. So I think like I'm not gonna lie, like drinking is fun and it feels good, but it's also a temporary experience, and you're not making real connections with people when everyone's drunk. You're literally talking to a fogged-up brain, really. And I think how I spend my weekends end up benefiting me. I have so much better grades. I'm filming this on a Sunday. If I was out last night drinking, I would have not been able to do this, and I would have looked like a crazy person. And you can build meaningful relationships, you can have big goals like me, and all in all, it's better because when you're out partying, it's very like degenerative, I guess. Is that the word? Did yeah. I don't even know if that's a word, but what really got me to stop was I think I got alcohol poisoning at a festival. I didn't actually make it into the festival because I was so drunk, and the um paramedics had to come get me on a stretcher, and then my mom had to pick me up, and it was terrible, and I was throwing up for three days straight. Um when this happened, oh yeah, I was 15 when this happened. Yeah. Yeah, it was right before summer, and it was at a little festival at the beach. You can make really bad decisions and maybe take drinks from people when you're drinking, and it could be bad. So don't do that. Um, but I think that that's what really taught me a lesson because I felt like terrible the next three or the next two days after. I literally felt terrible. And I like can't even think about uh so bad. Like the worst headaches, the worst stomach aches, you're throwing up, it's terrible. And that's what got me to really cut down on all of that stuff because I literally like couldn't even like fathom the taste of alcohol after that. So yeah, I think that now that I'm older, I'm 17 now, and I have such big goals in my life, I think it's a big waste of time for me to be going out to parties and to be drinking all this alcohol when I could be doing all doing a lot of good things for myself, like building connections, hanging out with my best friend, doing my homework, getting good grades. Like, I think that that stuff in this phase of life for me is so much more important than just trying to have fun. And I think that that's a big reason why I don't want to go to college because I think I have all these big goals, and I do think it would distract me. I think if I went to college and joined like a sorority, and who knows, maybe I will. Like, I'm not gonna close the door for myself. But I also think that if I did that, it would probably hold me back on a lot of stuff that I want to do. And I think I would I do think I would like college because I'm a very social person, but I do think that it would hold me back a lot because I think what I would want to do is I would want to go out with all my friends and have so much fun and go to the frats and go to a lot of concerts and do all that. But I think that at the end of the day, what's what's your goal in life? Like, do you want to be really successful? Then start early because it starts to get really competitive once you get older, because everyone's starting to figure out what they want to do. And so, especially with what I want to do, I want to do social media and do my podcast. I think since I started it young, I have a better chance of becoming successful when I'm older because not everyone's doing this right now. Actually, very few people are doing it right now because people care what other people think about them. So I think that for me, partying is cut very short because I have bigger, better things I want to achieve in my life, and I want to start young so that I can make a lot of money, so I can be very rich. But if you party, then that's great for you. And I don't judge because I still do go out on occasion, very rarely, but maybe you'll see me one day. One day I'll be out there. If you're listening and you've already feel seen, this podcast is doing its job. You don't need to have your life figured out to be here. Sometimes just noticing is enough. Thank you for spending this time with me. I'll talk to you again soon.