EP 13: When You're Not Sad But You're Not Happy Either | The In-Between Feeling

Not sad. Not happy. Just... there.

Harper is talking about one of the most disorienting feelings she's experienced — the in-between. That weird emotional flatness where nothing is technically wrong, but nothing feels fully real either. Like you're watching your own life happen from a few steps away.

She's been there. She talked to her therapist and her mom Tera about it. And this episode is her sharing what she learned.

We talk about:

• What the "in-between" actually feels like and why it's so hard to explain
• Why emotional numbness can be just as uncomfortable as sadness
• Simple things that actually help — sun, beach walks, stillness
• What it means to be present with yourself when you feel disconnected
• Normalizing the days that aren't high or low — just quiet

Not every day has to feel like something. Sometimes neutral is where the healing happens.

If you've ever felt disconnected from yourself and didn't know how to name it — this episode is going to feel like someone finally said it out loud. Share this with someone who needs to hear it. 👇

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hi, welcome to Where Live Said, the podcast where we talk about what everyone feels but not everyone says. I'm your host, Harper, and I'm so excited you're here. Today we're gonna talk about the in-between. And I think I've struggled with this a lot, and what that means for me is you're not necessarily super happy and you're not necessarily sad. You're kind of just in the middle. Like it almost feels like a lack of emotions. For me, it's been feeling very like out of body. Like I feel very disassociated. And I even talk about it with my therapist all the time. Like I feel like I'm not myself sometimes. And I feel like I I almost feel like I can't actually see myself out of my body, but that's how it like feels. If I could explain it, it feels like I'm watching myself through like my eyes, but I can like see my body, if that makes sense. But I feel like it's just like a really weird spot to be at, and I feel like it does feel like a lack of emotions. But I think it's because big emotions are also really easy to spot. So like, oh, I'm so excited, I'm going to a concert tonight, or oh I'm so sad, someone in my family died. Like those are really easy to spot, but it's like, what about when nothing is happening? What about if nothing super big happening in your life, then like what are you supposed to feel? And I really think about it all the time. And I do get deep into my thoughts. I'm like, why do I feel so weird today? But it's okay, well, nothing really big's happening. So I just feel very like I almost do feel at peace a little, but I also feel very weird. I'm like, am I supposed to feel this way? Or is this like not or am I not supposed to be feeling this way? But I think for me, what I'm gonna start trying is I literally just talked to my mom about this this morning. I'm like, what do I do? I always feel so weird and I feel so like disconnected with myself, and like I don't feel very grounded if that makes sense. So I do tan a lot, and I think that that helps, like just being in the sun, but when I'm tanning, I'm also on my phone, so it's like I guess that doesn't really count. So I need to start practicing like having time to myself or like just being in the sun or what else did my mom say? Laying in the grass, which I won't be participating in because I think that would make me really itchy. Um or just like walking on the beach, like having sand in your toes is very connecting to the earth. It's really normal to get weird feelings like that because sometimes in your life there's not gonna be big things that are happening. Not every not every day you're gonna be hanging out with your friends, not every day you're gonna be going to concerts, but not every day someone's just gonna be dying. So you can't, you're not always gonna be super sad, you're not always gonna be super happy and overjoyed, but sometimes you're gonna have like a middle feeling. And I think it's really uncomfortable, but something that you we need to start like normalizing and getting comfortable in because it's really normal. Like when you're sitting at school, you're not like, ah, I'm so excited to be here. This is the best day ever. I love school. But you're not gonna be like pouting and crying all day at school, you know, you're just you're just normal. And I also think because I'm very like aware of what I feel, it feels it doesn't feel big, it just feels so weird. And I'm like, what's going on? Why do I feel so weird? Or I'm like in class and I'm like, like, what's going on here? It's weird, it's such a weird feeling. So I think just practicing like being with yourself and having silence and being present and grounding yourself to the earth helps. So I think I'm gonna start practicing being present with myself and maybe going on more beach walks and tanning more without my phone. Um, and I'll let you know how that works for me and if it helps me feel less weird. And if any of you guys practice being present with yourself, let me know your experience with that. If you're listening and you already feel seen, then this podcast is doing its job. You don't have to have your life figured out to be here sometimes, just noticing is enough. Thank you for listening, and I'll talk to you again soon.