1: Why I Cant Stay Quiet About Women's Healthcare Anymore

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Welcome to My Venus Club, where modern science meets timeless self-care for limitless vitality. I'm Dr. Cindy Growe, a board certified nurse practitioner and founder of My Venus Club. This is a space for women who are ready to understand what is actually happening in their bodies and finally getting real answers. If you've been told your labs are normal that this is just a part of aging, or that you just need to try harder, and if you've sat through 15-minute appointments, left with another prescription just to manage your symptoms, or maybe you feel like you're even losing a part of yourself. You're in the right place. Here we go deeper. We connect the dots between your hormones, your metabolism, your genetics, and your lifestyle so you can stop guessing and start feeling like yourself again. Before we begin, just a quick note this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to replace personalized medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your health care provider regarding your individual health needs. So let's get started. I want to tell you about the moment I realized medicine was failing women, but the truth is there wasn't just one moment. It's been 25 years of moments. Moments caring for patients in the hospitals, in the assisted living facilities, in hospice care settings, and in the office, and moments in my own life and in my family's life. I saw women doing everything right, researching diets and nutrition, trying to make good decisions for themselves, exercising, taking supplements, reading self-help guides, but yet they were slowly losing their vitality, energy, clarity, confidence, all going away. And women telling me they had gone to their provider's office having a 15-minute visit and were told they were fine, but obviously they weren't. They were told, hey, your labs look good, but they're only getting surface-level labs, and their insurance dictates that. And sadly, really, they only tell a story when something's already gone wrong. I've heard countless stories of women being told that they're feeling this way, and it's because it's just a part of aging and giving them a prescription for symptoms that didn't really work anyway and often caused another problem. Women feeling helpless, like they're slowly losing themselves, and no one is taking the time to stop and listen and connect the dots. And over the years, I saw the same pattern and have listened to thousands of women that have gone far too long without the personalized health and wellness care that they truly deserve. And what really broke my heart most of all was that how many of them thought they were doing something wrong and that it was their fault. The system is so broken, and I want to reset the bar. No more surface level labs, no more quick surveys or prescription, no more healthcare chatbots answering you, no more 15-minute visits, no more comments like, this is just a part of aging, your labs look fine, just watch what you eat and exercise more. I've lived it, I've seen it, I've heard it, and the same dismissive pattern continues to go on. Now I'm going to change it. At 60 years old, I realized I can't stay quiet about this anymore. Women deserve better than this. And it's time we start taking this and we talk about it truthfully. And after a while, I started noticing something I just couldn't ignore. So many different women, but the same story, and many different symptoms, but the same root issue. Different doctors, but the same outcome. Women coming in exhausted and not sleeping, gaining weight that just didn't make sense, feeling anxious, foggy headed, and just disconnected from themselves. Some of them were told, hey, maybe it's your hormones. Some were told, I think it's your stress. Others were told they just need to eat better and exercise more. And some were told it's just a part of aging. It's something you might need to get used to. But no one was taking the time to step back and really listen and look at the full picture. No one was asking, how is all of this connected? And I would sit there and listen to these women, look at their history, their labs, their lifestyle, their symptoms, and the connections were there. Not always obvious at first glance, but they were there. And what I realized again and again was that these women weren't complicated. They were being looked at in pieces, one symptom at a time, one lab at a time, one quick visit at a time. And when you look at something that way, you miss what's actually happening because nothing in the body works in isolation. Everything is connected. Your hormones are connected to your metabolism. Your metabolism is connected to stress response, stress response connected to the gut, the brain, everything's connected. They're all constantly communicating with each other. And hormones in particular are not just numbers on a lab, they are a dynamic system, a rhythm, a pattern. And every woman has her own unique hormone concert, her own song and dance, so to speak. No two women are the same. And when you enter perimenopause, that rhythm really starts to shift, sometimes gradually, sometimes fast and unpredictable. And what I call hormone havoc begins, and it's not a fun time. And during that time, so many factors influence what's happening. Your stress, nutrition, sleep, environment, your past history, all of it starts to impact how those hormones are produced, how they're used and metabolized in your body. And then the unused hormones, how they're cleared from your body. They call that detoxification. This is very similar to what we see with epigenetics. It's not just about the genes you have, but it's about how your body is expressing them. And underneath all of that is your unique blueprint, your genetics, the hand you were dealt. But what most women are never told is that their genes are not their destiny. It's how your body is expressing those genes based on your lifestyle, nutrition, stress, sleep, your environment. That's what actually determines how you feel. Two women can have the similar genetics and live completely different health experiences because what turns those genes on or keeps them quiet is everything happening in their daily life. And no one is looking at that. No one is asking what the body actually needs specifically. Instead, it was the same approach for everyone. And yet every woman sitting in front of me was different: a different history, a different physiology, biology, life, different hormone rhythms, and still they were being treated the same way over and over and over again. And that's when it became really clear to me. No one was connecting the dots. And when you step back and you really see it, you realize you cannot solve a personalized problem with a generalized approach. You can't take a woman with her own unique biology, her own unique history, her unique genetics, and her own life and try to fit her into a one-size-fits-all model of care. And yet, that's exactly what's happening to women in the healthcare system now, every day. The same protocols, the same quick visits, the same surface level answers for women who are anything but the same. And that's why so many women are doing everything they've been told to do, but still not feeling like themselves. Because the problem isn't that they're not trying hard enough. The problem is no one has ever taken the time to understand what's actually happening in their body. And once you start looking at that differently, once you start to connect those dots, everything begins to make a lot more sense and everything begins to change. So let me simplify what's actually happening because this isn't random and it's not in your head. There are real answers why so many women feel this way, especially in midlife. And most of it comes down to how the healthcare system is built. The system treats symptoms in isolation. Oftentimes the provider addresses one or two symptoms at a time due to two main factors, time constraints and reimbursement. So if you're not sleeping, you're given something for sleep, a band-aid, no real QA from the provider trying to uncover the root cause. If you're gaining weight, you're told eat less, move more, and now women are prescribed GLP1s for weight loss, and there's no real discussion about nutrition and supplementation or even testing done to monitor vitamin and mineral levels or uncover the root cause. If you're anxious or overwhelmed, it's labeled stress or anxiety and you're given another prescription. Each symptom looked at separately, but no one is stepping back to ask why is all of this happening at the same time? Because when you connect those symptoms, they start to tell a very different story. And then there's time. Most visits are about 15 minutes, and in that time you're expected to explain everything you're feeling, your history, your concerns, your changes, and somehow walk away with the answers. There simply isn't enough time to look deeper, to ask better questions, to understand the full picture. And then there's the reality of the insurance companies themselves. Care is often dictated by what's covered, not necessarily by what's needed. Labs aren't run, certain conversations aren't had, certain approaches aren't even considered, not because they wouldn't help, but because they don't fit within the structure of the healthcare system. And midlife women fall right into the gap of all of this. If you're not sick enough or trigger urgent care, but you're not unwell enough to require really the extra testing you're needing, you fall right in that space gap where things feel off, but nothing is fully being addressed. So you're told everything looks fine, or this is just a part of aging when deep down you know something isn't right. And the truth is, it's not that these women are complicated. It's that the system was never designed to see them as a whole. And the hardest part for me was that I wasn't just seeing this in my patients, I was experiencing it too. My journey didn't start in the exam room. It started through my own experiences, my family's experiences, and questions I just couldn't stop asking. I've always been someone who needed to understand why. Not just the surface answer, but the real answer. And every time I was given an explanation, I would ask again why, until I got as close as I could to what I felt like was the truth. Again, researching everything. But there were moments in my life where the answers just weren't there. I had pregnancy loss, thyroid dysfunction, watching patterns of chronic disease in my own family, losing my grandmother and later my mom to heart disease. And those weren't just clinical experiences. They were extremely personal and painful. And they've stayed with me all these years. They've shaped how I saw everything and who I am today. I started my career in healthcare, in administration, and billing, seeing how the system worked behind the scenes. Then I went into pharmaceutical sales and eventually I followed what I knew was my path back to school, nursing, and becoming a nurse practitioner and obtaining my doctorate, always searching for deeper answers. But nothing prepared me for what I went through in perimenopause. That season of my life was one of the most difficult seasons I've ever walked through. Everything was shifting at once. I lost my grandmother, my children left for college, my marriage ended. I was trying to figure out who I was again. My life was in a shambles, and my life looked like, what is going on? I didn't know what was going on. I didn't even know where I was going. And dating again, which felt completely unfamiliar. Like I didn't even recognize the version of myself anymore. And at the same time, my body didn't feel like mine anymore. My energy was different. My emotions felt heavier and unrecognizable. And clarity, there wasn't any. And it definitely took time to focus and even think. A lot of brain fog. And I remember having moments where I would sit there and think, what is happening to me? And why can't I figure this out? I was holding it all together on the outside, showing up for work, being there, trying to be there for my family, while on the inside, I felt like I was collapsing. I was exhausted, overwhelmed. And honestly, at times, I felt very alone. And what made it even harder was that I had access to the system. I knew how the system worked, and I still wasn't getting answers. I was given medications, quick fixes, things to manage symptoms, but no one was stepping back to really look at the full picture. And I was so busy just trying to keep it all together from falling apart that I didn't even know where to begin or how to figure it all out. And that is a very humbling place to be in. When you're the one people to come to for answers, and that's when it just really hit me. If this is hard for me, with everything that I know, what is it like for every other woman out there trying to navigate this on her own? Because this isn't rare. This is happening to women everywhere. And that's when something really shifted inside me. Not all at once, but in a way that I couldn't ignore anymore. Because once you see it, once you've lived it, once you've watched it happen over and over again, you start to see the full arc of what's been going on over the years. I've seen it in the office with those 15-minute visits, surface-level labs, quick prescriptions to manage symptoms. Then I've seen it in the assisted living facility where women are managing multiple chronic conditions. And then, of course, I've seen it in the hospital where those conditions have progressed, and then ultimately in the hospice care setting. When you're looking at the end result of years of a system that never truly addressed the root cause, different settings, but the same story. A one-size-fits-all approach, surface-level answers, and no real focus on prevention. And that's when it became even clearer to me. We say we're practicing preventative medicine, but most of what we're doing is early detection at best. A mammogram is important, but it's not prevention. It tells you when something is already there. True prevention is understanding what's happening in your body before disease ever develops. It's looking at your genetics, your epigenetics, how your body is wired, how your lifestyle, your nutrition, your stress, your sleep, your environment, how it is influencing how all of your genes are expressed. That's the real prevention. That's where your body is really going to see changes, and that's going to really affect your health span. That's how you reduce risk and how you not just live your life, but you have vitality and quality. But that's not the model most women are in because the system is structured around what's covered, what is quick, what fits into a visit, and often what generates revenue, not necessarily what creates the answers you need for personalized health and wellness care. And I just couldn't go back to that. I couldn't go back to working within a model that I knew wasn't giving women what they truly needed. And I couldn't stay quiet about it anymore. Not after seeing how many women were struggling, not after feeling it myself, not after realizing that so many of them were starting to believe that this is just how it had to be, that this is just a part of aging. I knew that was not true. And I knew there was so much more to the story. I knew there were answers that weren't being explored, and I knew that if nothing changed, women would continue to go down the same path from symptoms to chronic disease to loss of vitality without ever being shown the other way. And at some point, staying quiet felt like being a part of the problem. So I made the decision to step outside of that model and create something different, something built around time, depth, and true personalized care, where we don't just look at symptoms, we look at the whole picture, your hormones, your metabolism, your genetics, your lifestyle, how everything is connected. And that's where the answers are, and that's where real change begins. And that decision is what led me to create my Venus Club. And here's the part I want you to understand. When you start looking at your body differently, when you stop chasing symptoms and start understanding how everything is connected, everything begins to change. Not overnight, but in a way that finally makes sense. Because instead of guessing, we start getting clarity. Clarity around what your body actually needs, not just what works for someone else, but what works for you. Clarity around your own unique biology, your hormones, your metabolism, your genetics, and how all of this is working together. Because when we talk about hormones, it's not just about whether they're high or low, it's about the full picture of your hormone concert, how much your body is actually making, how your body is using those hormones, and just as important, how your body is detoxifying them and clearing them. Because if that process isn't working well, then things start to build up or break down in a way that they shouldn't, and chronic disease can set in. That's when symptoms begin to show up. And that's the part most women are never walked through. Because the truth is you can't optimize what you don't understand. And beyond that, understanding your risk for disease is so important because so much of what we see later in life can be influenced much earlier when we actually take the time to look at it. Heart disease is still the number one killer of women, not cancer, not something rare, heart disease. But yet most women don't truly understand their risk or what they can do to actively reduce that risk. That's where this kind of approach really matters. Because when you understand your body, when you understand your patterns, your risks, your tendencies, you can start making decisions that actually protect your future health. Not just manage how you feel day to day, but change where you're headed, improve your vitality and your health span. And what I've seen over and over again is that women finally have that level of clarity. When this happens, their energy starts to come back, their sleep improves, their body starts to respond differently, and their mind feels clearer. But even beyond the physical changes, something deeper shifts inside. They start to feel like themselves again, more in control, more confident, less dependent on guessing, or constantly searching for the next answer. Because now they understand what their body is asking for. They understand what changes everything, what they need. It's not about perfection. It's not about doing everything right. It's about finally having a plan that fits for you, that supports your body, your life, and this phase of life that you're in. Because midlife isn't the beginning of decline. It can be the beginning of something incredibly awesome. You can feel stronger, clearer, more connected to your health than you've ever felt before. When you have the right approach, and that's exactly what you need. And that's exactly why I created my Venus Club. So if you've been feeling this, if you've been doing everything you know to do and still not feeling like yourself, if you've been told your labs are normal, that this is just a part of aging, or that you need to try harder, I really want you to hear this. This is not your fault, and your body is not broken. You've just been trying to find answers in a system that was never designed to give you the full picture. And there's another way. There really is. And that way is to actually look at you as a whole person. Take the time to understand your body, your biology, and what your body truly needs. Give you real answers and clarity. That's why I created my Venus Club. It's not just a program or a membership, it's a place where women are finally seen and heard and understood at a deeper level, where we stop. Guessing, and we start getting you the clarity that you deserve, where we focus on prevention, on vitality, and helping you feel like yourself again because you deserve that. And as I've stepped further into this work, one of the things that has helped bring even more clarity to what I've seen every single day is research around what is called the 12 hallmarks of aging. These are key processes telling us what is happening in the body that influences how we age, how we feel, and how disease develops over time. And when you begin to understand those processes, you start to see exactly why so many women feel the way they do in midlife. You start to understand what's actually driving these changes, and more importantly, what you can do about it. So in the next episode, we're going to start breaking that down in a way that actually makes sense and applies to you and your body. And if something in this conversation has resonated with you, I invite you to take the next step, to learn more, to explore what this could look like for you, and to start asking better questions about your health. Because this chapter of your life doesn't have to feel like a slow decline. It can be a turning point, a time where you feel stronger, more clear, more connected to yourself than you have been in years. And it starts with understanding because once you understand your body, everything changes. Thank you for being here with me today. I look forward to seeing you again in the next episode. If this episode resonated with you, I invite you to share it with someone who may need to hear it too. And if you're ready to start understanding your body on a deeper level and getting the clarity you deserve, you can learn more about MyVenus Club at myvenusclub.com. We offer a limited number of memberships for women who are ready to take a more personalized, in-depth approach to their health. So apply for a membership. There's no pressure, just an opportunity to start a different kind of conversation, one that focuses on you, your body, and what you truly need. Because once you understand your body, everything changes. Make it a great day, and I'll see you in the next episode.