Quarter Life Crisis

This beautiful thing called the 20s. This week, Trey and JJ discuss living life as a 20-something. They talk about what it means to go through a "quarter life crisis" and how you can overcome it. Trey blames the Cheeto while JJ does some research.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_04 0:00

Your listeners do Fire Radio Wack Wack Yeah, I'm a bad bitch, I fight, up on my night pull up on fire hold the press of the one hit the light I took my bitch, I'm on my cat. Back flash X, back flash, I can I'm a bad bitch, I park, you rockin' with a like market, bad, let's start, close with that, we're about to make a mark. I'm a bad bitch, I park, you workin' with a like market. Get back. Let's start close with that, we're about to make a mark.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

You're listening to QX radio. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Hi. Hello. Hi, hi, hi. All right. Welcome back to Quack.

unknown 1:02

Welcome back to Quack.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

You just come up with that one? Yeah. Oh wow, okay. That's pretty smart. All right. All right. Well, I'm JJ. I'm Trey. And we're Quack. Back at it again.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

I'm not gonna lie. I don't know why today. I guess because it's just hot as hell outside. It's really warm in this room. Oh. I thought I was gonna be able to be warm in this room. Like it's just like there's like no air circulated or nothing. It's just warm.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Do you want to see if that's an air current over there? No, it's okay. It's okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:33

Yeah, we're already here. You're gonna be hot the entire episode. No, and I was explaining about it the whole time. They're giving my fucking voice. And then you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna sweat on the camera. Yeah, it's okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

You're gonna see a little sweat today. Yeah. Not from me. So you won't get any sexy content from this video.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

He's he's he's sitting, he's wearing a sleeveless shirt right now. The people that aren't viewing it right now. Oh, they're gonna see.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

You're gonna see me sleeveless. Okay. And wait until I get some guns. Then I'll be like, Okay. Gun show. Okay. Hey, yo. Hey yo. Bow. Bow.

SPEAKER_04 2:01

Bow, bow.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

I thought I was in for irresistible. Alright. Um, but so how are you doing today, Trey?

SPEAKER_04 2:08

I'm doing alright. Um, like I said, it's a scorcher out there, it's only gonna get hotter. Like I said, I saw TikTok because of global warming and all that shit, bitch. They said, welcome to the coolest summer of the rest of your lives. Like, dude, let that sink in for a minute. This will be the coolest summer for the rest of our lives. Now, I prefer.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

I do prefer to let the faucet in first, but yes, I will let that sink in.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

Comedian over here. I am and you're laughing at your own jokes to him.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

At least one pressure laugh at that. Okay. Right, one more time. Give it to me. Give it to me. If you laugh at that joke, I will give you five dollars. Thank you. See, now people are gonna laugh at that, right? Right. See, I'm gonna I'm that laughing prostitution. All right, I don't like to call it the Amy Schumer.

SPEAKER_05 2:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:00

Okay. Um but yeah, I'm doing okay. Um, like I said, it's hot. Um and like I said, I had work today. Um, we had a summer camp. Yeah, which is um it's only gonna be for like five weeks. Like I said, it's gonna lead into our topic today. But like just having another source of income just so I make sure I don't have any extra because I'm a teacher, I don't get paid during July and August. No, June and July. At the end of June and July, I don't get paid, right?

SPEAKER_05 3:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:29

So I need to have a kind of like a safety net and a cushion of money just so I not like just like eat out when I want to, so I can live comfortably. So that's why I have the that's why I'm doing the summer camp. So I have to get the extra funds. Um but yeah, it was it was fine. We did like little icebreaker games and like just to get to know them, and we had a training a couple weeks ago with just adults telling us basically what to do for the camp. And then there was like an icebreaker game where we had to stand in a circle, right? It was like two circles, one on the inside and then one on the outside, right? I hate that. Girl, it was like when I told one circle to rotate so they can talk to somebody new, it was like telling them to do rocket science. Like they were just so confused. They're like, What? What am I supposed to do? And I like I eventually was like, all right, point to one person, point to your partner standing in front of you, now point to person that's one person to the right, now point to another person that's two persons to the right. And it's like they finally got it when it's like that.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

That sounds way more confusing to me if I'm pointing.

SPEAKER_04 4:36

Yeah, like bitch, just turn around. They got no, it was you had to kind of move in the circle and then move outside the circle. Oh, that how that's how you did it. Okay. It was like you move, you turn inside your circle, you rot not rotate, but you just move inside your circle, and you get to talk to somebody new, basically. And I asked, I asked the question, like iceberg questions. Like the first one was asked was like, um, what's your favorite food and why, if you had a dream vacation, where would you go? Okay. Um, just little stuff like that. How old were these kids? They're middle school. Well, they're going from rising middle schoolers, so rising sixth graders to rising ninth graders. Okay. Uh what would the age be there? It would be from 14. No, no, that's seventh grade is 12 going on 13. Okay. So sixth grade would be 12 going on 13. 11 going on 12. So then fifth grade would be 10 going on 11. So there might be 10 to 14-year-olds there.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Okay, so I can understand that they're not, you know. It might take some time for some things to be.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

Yeah, and then like I said, going into our topic, fucking COVID, like the processing, the processing, sometimes people they get kids, little kids get confused. So just giving them instructions, like you gotta say like ten times before they actually do it. And some of them are just gonna not do it because they either they don't want to do it or they don't know how to do it. Yeah. But some of them need it to be said ten times before they actually get like, oh, okay, that's what you want me to do. Oh god. Am I one of them kids? Well, I didn't want to say it.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

Oh, fuck you. Okay. Okay. Well, speaking of today's topic, uh How are you though? Speaking of today's topic. Okay. Uh today's uh pretty good. Pretty good, actually. Uh I've been trying to eat better. Okay. That's something I need to definitely need to focus up on, trying to cook more food for myself and uh not spend as much money. This month is very much about learning how to just save money and and do what I can for myself because I am now paying a lease. Right!

SPEAKER_04 6:47

Okay. This man got a motherfucking house. I got a room in the house.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Well, I I mean I I have a house, yes. My is on the lease, so it's like the whole space is my thing. But like it's with a couple of roommates, and so far, so good. I'll say it's been nice being able to just be like, dang, I got my own room and I get to decorate it any way I want. Yeah I'm so excited. Yeah, exciting. Yeah. It's my first time uh really like I think like renting, if anything. Like, so it's like woof, this is gonna be stressful as fuck, but hey, I I I will fight for that, my right to stay there, because golly. Fight for the right to party, okay? Right. But um I've been pretty good after last week of just like moving into that place and trying to get everything in and just like ah, it's been so much like noise. I I took the weekend to just be like, you know what? Fuck productivity. We're gonna spend the next few days with ourselves doing what we used to do when we were 14. Sit. Jacking off. I didn't stop ever doing it. Uh sitting in my room in my robe and just playing video games, eating cereal all day. Yeah, no, I I couldn't even think about doing anything productive. I so I just took some time myself and I think I'm ready to get back into it. Really follow my process again. I'm kind of it was like a whole bunch of change because I I didn't even have clothes for a good minute. I had to like wash all my clothes and stuff like that. So it was like um finally able to do that, sitting down and just enjoying myself. I'm like, okay, I can get back in the processes of just how to live life, how to do things, that sort of thing. Which is why I'm glad I kind of took a week away from uh podcasting because that probably was a good thing to do. Yeah, just take a break and just relax.

SPEAKER_04 8:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Yeah, that was really good. Get settled into your new home. My friends have been vibing me up the entire time, so I should have you should have heard Sunstone the other day. What? He called me.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

So uh he yes, yeah, I forgot. Now mind you, this man has had three different names. Yeah. Three different names. And you've gotten him down flawlessly. But Trey, for some odd reason, maybe it's just because he just be just fumbling that shit about it.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

Maybe it's just because it's so close to your real fucking name.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

Then stop. Say Tre. Tru.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

But let's call you Tru. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

True. Okay, but uh Tru. Um he called me the other day and he was telling me about the story he told you. You were there, actually, apparently. About Okay, so you remember yesterday, they were on the elevator and somebody was talking to them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to get I don't want to tell their story for them, but it was it's such a it was such a funny fucking story. I kind of want to say it's weird. It was very weird. Okay, so just to explain really quickly. So our friend Sunstone, he was walking and he was walking to their stop. It was hot outside, so there was like a he was like, okay, I'm gonna stay cool by going to this parking deck or whatever. I don't know the specifics, but they read a parking deck, there's an elevator, went on the elevator, there's a woman on the phone. I forgot, was she black? I think she was black, right?

SPEAKER_04 9:52

Yeah, she was definitely black, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Okay, yeah. Uh so she was a black woman. Uh our friend Sunstone sitting there on one quarter. Uh the woman's on the other quarter, she's on the phone, loud as fuck, it is like, oh, I'm so sick and tired of being around niggas. I'm like, already specifically black people. She's like specifically talking about black people. Yes, yes, and so um getting into it, uh he he's still confused. He's like, okay, she might not be talking about me, right? And it's just like there's one around like she specifically like calls him out and is like, oh, I need a I need a what type of man?

SPEAKER_04 10:23

A white a white man spot of like I don't remember that, but yeah, he was like, Are you talking about me? Like he she he asked. It got to that point where he asked her, and he was like, Yeah, I'm talking about you. I was like, Golly. I guess I feel like you were on the phone at the time, right? I was on the phone when he called, he FaceTime when everything was out. I didn't know what was going on. I just heard this lady rambling about whatever I didn't I couldn't even hear everything he was saying or she was saying. And like she was rambling about, he told me after the fact, like, just how she doesn't like black people and just like around these niggas and like all this stuff, and like like he said, he asked her, like, are you talking about me? And she was like, Yes, I'm talking about you specifically. They're always following me, like they're always following me. I'm like, girl, he was there first, you walked up on the elevator to him. Right, that's the order of operations right there. So it just it was just weird.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

That was very weird. The fun, the funny part was I think there was like a point on the phone where the woman asked, asked her, like, hey, how's your fourth or whatever? I think. Uh-huh. And then she expresses like, oh, related to niggas, apparently. Uh-huh. It's like, uh, uh, it was because I was around men all week or whatever, it ruined my ruined my whole thing or whatever. Apparently, she didn't have a really good fourth because of black men. Very interesting.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

And that's very interesting. And like I said, um it's Dr. Umar. Do you know who Dr. Umar is? You don't know who it is.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

You just said words to me.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

Dr. Umar. You remember his apartment, right? Sunstone's apartment. Yes. That picture of that guy that's on the window. Yes. That's Dr. Umar. Oh, yeah, you guys mentioned him. He was like a big- But I said, I don't support everything he talks about or whatever he does. I don't support it because he has some interesting things about like homosexuals that he interesting views about gay people. So I don't support everything he says. But he he did bring up an interesting point. Like, it seems like black people are the only people that have like people that are for like pro-black and anti-black. There is no like there are no formal, like pro-white people. Well, there is formal pro-white people, but it's not formal anti-white people, like that are white. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Anti-white people.

SPEAKER_04 12:26

Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Are you saying like there are no people against white people? That are white. That are white. Like they're white.

SPEAKER_04 12:33

Like colloquially, there's some people that might say, oh, I don't like being white because of like it just sucks being white. Sometimes, but but there's not like a like a whole movement against it. Like there's not people that are anti, there's not anti-white movements. I do get that. But there's a lot of like anti-black movements. Like people don't support black black people that are black don't support other black people.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

That reminds me actually that she said specifically, like, I don't support black, so like black businesses. Right. And it was like a point. Like it was like, oh, someone asked her to support a black business, and she was like, Oh, I have a problem with that. I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_04 13:06

I don't have to do that. And it's just like, and like I said, I can I'm not an expert, but it just seems like it's just it's just interesting. I can't speak too much on it because I'm not I can't say it's internalized racism because I don't know all the all the ins and outs or whatever that is. But it just seems it's just it's just questionable.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

It is very interesting that people are specifically like that. Like I think in some regards, it's like, oh, it's internalized and something you don't even notice until you know someone actually confronts you about it. But there's other times where people are specifically just like that, that's spiteful, that angry uh towards black people, and it's not even like Uncle Ruckus level. It's like past that. I mean, I guess it is Uncle Ruckus level because he very much was like raging, raging uh anti-black person, but like you know, I just can't believe it. That's like a a stance people really like stand by. Yeah. And it's like they think that's okay.

SPEAKER_04 13:59

Yeah, and I just I don't know. Like I I love being black. I also love black. I feel like black being black has its perks. Like there's like there's just a beauty that we have and a creativity that we just naturally all have as a black person that I appreciate. Now, like I said, the thing about being if you like being black, you gotta be pro-black. You gotta be for you gotta be for black lives for all black lives. Yeah. But you can't just pick and choose.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

Yeah, you can't just um You can't just pick Michelle Obama when you also have to pick it.

SPEAKER_04 14:36

You can fill in the blank. You can fill in the blank. Audience, you can just fill in the blank, okay? Because we're not gonna get we're gonna get canceled. But like I said, there's there's different levels of being not being black, there's different levels of blackness and supporting blackness. And I think that if you're gonna be pro-black, you gotta be pro-black for all black lives. Trans lives, yeah, gay lives, like intersex, um yeah, all that.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Disabled people. Yeah, exactly. That's not a joke. That actually is real. I'm being serious. I I might have came off like a joke like off of him, but I was being serious.

SPEAKER_04 15:12

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Um you know what you know what that reminds me of though? That like you had mentioned the thing about like there's no like anti-white people against white people. Right. Have you ever I don't mean to call anyone out, I promise. But have you ever been in a room where like give me a second? Okay, okay. So um, have you ever been in a room with a a white person and then like they No.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Shut up!

SPEAKER_00 15:48

The answer is no. I have not. I never want to be in a room.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

No. I never want to be in a room. But uh, have you ever been in a room with a white person and then like they're just like suddenly like making like anti-white remarks? It's like Okay, yeah, like jokes.

SPEAKER_04 16:04

That's the thing. Like, I've heard that before, like in a joking way, oh I don't like being white, because but you still benefit from white privilege privilege. Yeah. It's not forget that. But like I said, I do think there are like people that will like joke about it, yeah, and like just say like colloquially, yeah, I don't like being white, but they still benefit off of white privilege.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

Yeah, which you know, that doesn't really come from like, oh, I get to choose this.

SPEAKER_04 16:26

It's like it's just what it is. Yeah, that's how just how you have to live. Right. So I mean, but like I said, I just don't we're going on a ranger, but like just I just just having that going back to the situation with the lady, like it just it's just weird, it's just questionable. Like, why are you so she must have had something happen to her like that would just ruin her whole fucking weekend?

SPEAKER_02 16:49

It has never been more obvious that someone went through some personal trauma than at that moment. Like, holy fuck the way that she was going about the situation, and and Sunstone was about to be ready to throw hands. He said if he had his mace, he would have emptied the whole can.

SPEAKER_04 17:05

Okay, and the reason like justifiably so because she was acting belligerent. No, it was like I want to antagonize you, I want you to start fighting like she she didn't run up on him or anything like that, but she was acting belligerent, like he wasn't gonna just pull out his mace whenever he wanted to, just because no, it was there's reasons and there was a warm-up to that like he didn't pull out his mace, but she was acting like antagonistic, and I feel like people are gonna be like, oh well, he's a guy and she's a girl, like she needs to watch that. But it's just like if someone's antagonizing you and like egging you on to like get whatever, then you have to protect yourself.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Yeah, I I don't want to have to think about oh dang, I have to let this person hit me because of their gender. Uh I'd be like, okay, I have to protect myself. I'm so sorry if you're gonna antagonize me. We gotta, we gotta, we gotta we gotta fumble a little bit. Um maybe not like fumble for illsies, not but like playgirl fight. Um yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:11

Nothing on me. Give me nothing. He's a playgirl fight, girl. What am I supposed to do with playgirl fight?

SPEAKER_00 18:15

You're not gonna the little kitty cat?

SPEAKER_04 18:17

You're not gonna You wouldn't play around. Oh my, now you're a man. Right. Speaking of that, being a man, y'all got in the comments about girly. Ooh, who you talking about? The TikTok comments.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Oh, no!

SPEAKER_04 18:33

Yeah, they did. They got in the comments about, like I said, the last episode, you know what I'm talking about. Last episode with Sunstone, we were actually Was it Sunstone or was it It was Citron at the time, I believe. Yeah, because we're talking about hiding behind the mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was he was Citron. So just we're gonna recap this and we're gonna get into our topic. Okay. So just to recap, like I said, when I was telling that story about him calling him a girly, the one of the guys I linked up with, I was not mean to be derogatory. I didn't even mean it to be in a colloquial, like, hey girl, I wasn't even doing it like that. I just learned in my vocabulary, like girly just means someone that's really interested in something like, oh, we're we're podcast girlies. Yeah. We're into podcasting. Y'all are podcast girls, y'all are quack uh girlies y'all listen to um quack all the time, right? I've just known it as that. I didn't take it as like I wasn't trying to demean him. I was but they like I said the comments the way they the way they um he interpreted it is that I was demeaning him and I was not trying to do that. But the comments definitely did bring up an interesting point because not everyone wants to be called girl, not everyone wants to be called girly, and it's not necessarily internalized homophobia. I will I think I might have said that the episode eight with um Citron. But it might not be internalized homophobia, but it's just like I said, it's just a preference. Like I said, I'm I'm learning every day, I'm learning it's maybe it's just a preference.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Yeah. Well, I still certainly I still certainly like understand that I guess if I have the understanding like you do of girly and girl, it's like if someone were to call me that and I know that I'm a cis male, and and I know that they're not trying to disrespect me, then I'm like, right, I'm okay with you saying that because you're not trying to demean me or anything like that. And I also, if someone was trying to demean me, I I'm not gonna lie, I don't think I well, I wouldn't take it that personally because I know for a fact I'm a cis male, I know who I am, right, and I'm strong in my identity as a male, and so it's like, okay, if you're gonna try and call me a female and you mean that, then that's your own thing, I would say. And it's not it sh it can affect people, but I say it should not affect you because you know who you are. And if you are f if you are firm and comfortable with who you are, then it statements like that should not like uh uh I I suppose arise you in that way. It shouldn't like make you feel like you have to justify or or come back and be like, hey, I'm actually a man, so don't refer to me at all at a girl as a girl. Yeah. And it just like makes very fun situations a lot less fun when we kind of like interpret things in certain ways. That's what I will say.

SPEAKER_04 21:15

Yeah, it's just I mean, it's just about preference and what you want to be called. Respect. I mean, respect people's references, but yeah, you just it's about respect. So Okay. Well, that's a good step on that one. Yeah. But yeah, I just want to clear that up.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Um you text that in the group chat, I was like, oh god.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

Like I said, keep the comments coming. Keep the comments coming, all right? Keep them coming. We we love to hear we love to hear different perspectives on our ideas, yes, and our our viewpoints because that's what this whole show is about, like having conversation and being in conversation with other people that might not share the same viewpoint as you.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

I do not want to exist in an echo chamber. I want to exist in a place where everyone expresses their opinions.

SPEAKER_04 21:55

Right. And these are all the people that were in the comments were all quack individuals, they're all queer and black. Okay. And so it's just interesting to see uh like I said, the varying view. Like I said, we're not as black people, we're not a monolith, and as queer people, we're not a monolith. We're not monolith. I think a monolith.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

No way.

SPEAKER_04 22:14

I do know. It's like a big ass stone. Okay. And it's just like one stone. And so the saying is like we're not a monolith because we're not this um singular massive viewpoint. We have varying viewpoints from different perspectives. So yeah, that's what let me look that up just in case. Well, while Trey looks it up, we have our first ad. So But yeah, going to our topic.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

I mean, we can start talking about our topic. Okay, sure. So uh today's topic, actually, as you can tell from the title of the of the podcast, today's topic is quarter life crisis and the dealings of that and how to cultivate a bad bitch personality while still existing in an environment that hates specifically you. Right. So a quarter life crisis.

SPEAKER_04 23:04

What is it, Trey? So I didn't know this, but JJ I did some fucking research. Yeah. He's totally doing research. Okay. And it's an actual, I don't want to say phenomenon, but I don't know if it's phenomenon, but it's actual events that can happen in a person's life where they when they hit the quarter of their life, so like 20s, late 20s, somewhere around there, right? You start to experience these feelings of inadequacy, I'm not doing enough, um, fear of missing out, FOMO, and all these negative emotions that start to happen because of your age and the time that you're in. And I think that going back to a previous episode we talked about with timelines, like everyone having, I think it was last episode, everyone's timeline is different. Right, yeah. Like, just because you hit a certain age does automatically mean oh, I need to have this right now. I should have this kind of car, I should drive this kind of uh car, I need to have this type of house or this type of apartment with this type of rent. Like, it's not everyone's timeline is gonna be different. Like again, we're not a monolith. We live on a spectrum. We're not gonna be in a place where everyone's doing the same thing at the same exact time.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

Right. And comparing can you consistently compare yourself to other people and their experiences and feel as though you are falling behind as a person. Right.

SPEAKER_04 24:25

Because of just what other people put onto you or what society has put onto you to say this is what you need to be doing at this age. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

And I feel like at your big age and stuff. Grown ass man, by the way. Right, right, right. I I feel as though that's something I have certainly seen around me, and I think I'm taking a personal stride to fight against it. Where it's like, my brother recently, he um I think he met a girl like a while back, maybe like a I guess, I don't know. My my brother had met a girl. It's it's they're still newish, that's what I will say. My brother met a girl and they're already in plans of having a baby together. That sort of thing. And he's like in his 30s, so it's like, oh, you know, he wants to be, he wants to have a family, he wants to be in that position where he's a d a dad and with his with his children, that sort of thing. And serious. Yeah. And it's like, okay, um, I I get it, but when you rush that type of that type of thing, usually it kind of leads downward, I will say.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

I You can't take him back. You can be like, oh, sorry, I didn't want it. Take it back, put up the vagina.

SPEAKER_04 25:33

Like you can't, you can't do that with babies.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

I really feel like I really feel like there's like a lot of things that in life that we're pressured into. And I know for a fact for me, I was pressured into a lot without even realizing it, and still feel as though that's kind of the case today, where it's just like, dang, I'm kind of doing this because this is what society expects of me, rather than like something I actually want to do. Now I will say, like, as stressful as it had as it's uh as nice as it is to have my own place, it is a stressful thing to like, dang, I really gotta make enough money to like not die right now. Right. Like that sort of thing where it's just like, dang, so many people, like my roommates, like they feel like they're in position to be able to have the lifestyle to handle this. And I feel like I'm behind in my own regards. Like, dang, I'm not on the same level as them to be able to like do this consistently. And I know that I may I am. I know that if I properly save and properly focus on my money, like I am right now, then I will be able to just do what I I know that I could do. It's just that that feeling of anxiety is just like, oh my God, can I do what my friends do where they afford their own place monthly, that sort of thing? Can I do what anybody else does? And I feel like that's sort of that that feeling that uh some people can have. Yeah. And it's like just either you're in your 30s and you feel like you need to get married and have a baby, or you're in your 20s and feel like you need to get married and have a baby. So it's it's hard out here for a Pam.

SPEAKER_04 26:59

Especially it's it's it's it's hard out here for a Pam. No, it's hard because it's a lot of us are at the time, well, like a lot of us are first generation college students. Like I said, just I'm going on my my um my path. That's the cot yeah, that's what the podcast's for, girl. But that shit. Not everyone goes to college.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

No, no, no, no. What I'm saying, you're the podcast is for you to express your feelings, Trev. Like that's the thing. Yeah, but not everyone went to college, not everyone goes to college.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

Okay, you're saying your path, you're about to explain. Right. Okay, okay, okay. I'm saying that my exactly. Okay. I'm not saying my my path was my path, right? Big dick over here, yeah. Right, I know it. Um and so a lot of us are first generation college students to where we don't we went to high school and then we went straight into college. Like that's first generation, like my parents, like my parents, my mom went to first generation school and everything. Um, my sister also went to school, my aunt also went to school. Um, but they didn't go right after um high school. They waited some time and went to the military and then got their um credits like that to the military, right? So I was the first one in my family to go to college right after high school. So there was no blueprint of like who should I be asking for help or what should I be doing to end college. Like I had to figure out a lot of that stuff on my own and figure out what was best for me in the moment of having to complete a degree. And like I said, I know it's not the that's not that's not the worst struggle to have. Yeah. Like there's different leveling struggles because some people, like I said, have fucking go into high school and then have a fucking baby for a myriad of reasons, and now you have to live with that decision of like having a baby and having to do the best you can with the baby, right? So it's just it's just varying levels of that um type of circumstance. But like I said, with my path, first when I go to college, it was hard. I was like I said, I was well academically, I was in very good standing and all that jazz. But just not knowing, like, I kind of had to push myself forward in the in the midst of it all. Like had to encourage myself because there was no one else to look to and say, oh yeah, they got a degree, so I can get a degree too. Like it was very much like I'm the one having to forge my own path to get my degree. I'm the one that has to forge my own path to open up the opportunities that I would want in my life.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

And being in charge of your life, like like that is something truly strong. Because like all your life, you're kind of like pushed to do things. I feel like, oh, you have your teacher to keep track of you, you have your mom and dad to keep track of you, that sort of thing. And then, like, suddenly you're in control of your future, you're in control of your life, you're in control of your tomorrow. And it's just like, holy shit, how do I do this?

SPEAKER_04 29:54

Yeah. And yeah, and so there is a lot of pressure put onto 18-year-olds. Like, as soon as you get out of high school, bitch, you gotta figure out what the fuck you gonna do. Are you gonna fucking get a job? Are you gonna go to fucking college? You're gonna go to the motherfucking military. Yeah, like there's a lot of pressure put, I don't know why that is, because you you we've held your hand for these 12 years of school that you have, and all of a sudden it's like, all right, figure it out. There's a lot of pressure. So I think that quarter life crisis, that anxiety, another, another emotion that comes up is that anxiety starts early because there is not a lot of the times people are just thrown out there to the not thrown out to the wolves, but just some families literally like when you turn 18, bitch, all right, bye. You gotta figure it out on your own, which I've been blessed to not have that type of family. Yeah, no kidding. But there are circumstances, people that have to figure out on their own, okay, when I get 18, I'm gonna have to figure out what I'm gonna do, either get a job or something to pay for themselves. And it's just wild out here, especially now, like I said, going into like today's economy and today's world, like the job market is crazy out there.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

I'm so glad I haven't had uh struggle and like look for a job for like the last six years.

SPEAKER_04 31:11

Yeah. I I don't even know, I don't even want to imagine. It's hard, and like I said, we can say COVID, we can say the fucking Cheeto, I'm not gonna say his name. We can say a whole lot of things, but it's just hard out here. It's it really is. And like I said, I feel like people are gonna be people that are older might listen to this podcast and be like, well, bitch, it was it was it was hard for me too, but I made it out. But when you're going through something for the very first time, like you don't sometimes you don't know how you're gonna make it out. You just are just focused on the hardness and the struggle of it all. And like I said, it's getting the shit's getting more expensive, like say going from McDonald's to the fucking movies to buying a house and renting a car. Like it's everything is getting more expensive, and you could say wages are also going up, but they're not going up to meet the demands of the economy. The economy.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Yeah. So I know for a fact for me, uh, for a very long time, I think it was like last year, where I kind of like realized, like, holy shit, I'm kind of like just living to survive right now. I'm not I'm not truly like living life. I'm just like doing everything that I need to do to just get through the day. Yeah and then my paycheck to paycheck. Yeah, that sort of thing. And it was just like, holy crap. I'm not thinking about my future. I'm just thinking about like the next week. And I didn't have any like full-on commitments to it, and it was just like that's kind of what led to my own depression, where it was like, holy shit, I'm in a bad place because I don't even know what to think about my future. I don't even know if I have a future. And the economy doesn't help like get you out of that. Because it's like, oh, we see you struggling, here's some more to worry about, here's some more money, here's some more debt that you have, here's some more this, here's some more that. And it's just like, holy crap. I don't know how to handle all that, and I just know how to handle right now, so I'm gonna focus on right now. And it wasn't until a friend really like kind of mentioned it to me where it was like, hey, you're kinda you need to get out of that mindset of um just kind of like living, I guess. He kind of said it in a much ruder way at the time, but it was like the way the what the idea that I gleamed from that was like, okay, yeah, you kind of have a point there. I definitely am just living to survive. And I feel like I don't know if a lot of people are like that, but I feel as though that's something that certainly people kind of go through. You have to kind of find the moment to stop and just like think about like your future. And that just never was really a thing for me. I didn't really have to start thinking about I didn't I never really like truly thought about my future until like the last five months, I suppose. Right.

SPEAKER_04 33:42

And especially as black people like and people of color, like there's not a whole lot. We don't have like nest eggs sitting for us waiting for us to turn eight. When we turn 18, all right, when all this floodgates went open, we got all this fucking.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

No one's got money for you, dog.

SPEAKER_04 33:56

It's all you. Right. It's just because no one, a lot of our family members don't have the didn't have the income. When I say when the income, and when I say education, I don't just mean like the academics. Yeah. I mean the wherewithal and the know-all to save up money to have for your children. Yes, that's like they didn't have that. Right. And we're now I think the generation Gen Z just starting to have those types of conversations, like, oh, well, I want to have enough money so that my kids have some money saved up too, so that they don't they're not starting from ground zero either.

SPEAKER_02 34:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:34

So I think that it the times are changing, but there's a lot of people out there that don't have like that nest egg or that family inheritance or that fucking big ass house that they just sold. Like there's not a lot, there's not a lot of money in like um there's not a lot of money in black people, and especially going like going back to that story this morning like today about supporting black businesses. Like, this is why we need to support black businesses because there isn't like a whole lot to fall back on.

SPEAKER_02 35:05

We need to support each other because we need each other. Right. For that, yeah, like for the reason that we understand all of our struggles, we need to support each other for that. Yeah, that's like that sort of thing you're talking about where it's not equality more than you need equity.

SPEAKER_04 35:18

Equity, where we're not all getting the same thing, but we're getting the opportunity to have the same stuff. Right. It's just it's a little bit different. Um because if I gave you five dollars today, like that would help you out a little bit, but it wouldn't it wouldn't you know what I mean? Like it's just I mean, give me five dollars now. I can make something happen. Right. Okay, I can start the same as a cat, okay? Okay. I'm just saying. But yeah, it's like I said, it's hard out here for a pimp, okay? You can start out here for a pimp.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Do not do not do not consider yourself a pimp.

SPEAKER_04 35:53

No, I don't. Um yeah, it's just it's it's interesting because with the state of the world now, like there's just a lot going on. I think that with social media and with just having news on your phone, access to it all the time, like bitch, TikTok just throws shit at you. Oh yeah, by the way, there's a fucking flesh-ating bacteria that's about to eat your ass.

SPEAKER_05 36:26

Yeah!

SPEAKER_04 36:27

Oh yeah, by the way, the fucking um the fucking sun is literally going to bore you through here until the rest of your life. You know what I mean? Like it's just shit like that. We're gonna Damn, what the fuck? Um But there's just stuff that, like you said, that's the thing my boss tells me all the time, like this this circle of influence or whatever, or sphere of influence, there's stuff that you can control and there's stuff that you cannot control. Bitch, I can't control the motherfucking sun. You can't control the weather. I cannot control the weather. I can't do I can do my little part and recycle shit and like whatever that is, but I can't control the fucking sun. I can't control this fucking whack ass economy. Like I can't control the Cheeto. I can't I can't control a whole lot of that stuff, right? But there's a certain level of stuff that I can control that I need to manage and keep within my control so that I don't feel like everything is so unmanageable and out of control. Because I can't I can't worry about all the stuff that's happening up here when I can only really deal with the stuff that's over here.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

Yeah, and I feel as though if everyone had that sort of mindset or everyone was able to have this consistent mindset, we'd be able to support each other a lot easier. Right. Because we could feel ourselves have that, I guess, like um comfort, like that sort of thing where it's like, oh, I feel like I'm secure in this area. And so when someone else asks me for help, I feel as though I can help them in any way or shape or form. Uh someone reminded me a while back, someone's father told me about like this thing called the uh triangle of comfort or something like that. It's like your levels where you Okay, like it's like a pyramid of like needs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pyramid of needs or something like that. Yeah, right, right, right. And it's like you just need to, when you don't have this, it's hard to have this, and when you have this sort of thing.

SPEAKER_04 38:17

It's triangle pyramid that has like different levels of needs. Like the first one is like I think like physiological, so like just like like shelter, uh food, water, like just basic needs like that. And then it ramps up to I want to say self-actualization. There's different levels, like there's physical, I don't know the levels, but like it ramps up to where the top of the level is like self-ev self-actualized. Actual self-actualization to where you're actually you feel comfortable, you feel needed, you feel supported, yeah, and you feel cared for.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Yeah. And if everyone was able to reach that reach that sort of like level of comfort, then it'd be a lot easier to support each other. And I feel as though we can like do things to put ourselves in that position to do that.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:11

And if we have it literally, I I'm gonna be real. I'm in when it comes to the economy and the way things are right now, I'm a big supporter of the idea that we have the power. It's like, what?

SPEAKER_00 39:25

Oh, hey. Different type of show.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

Different type of show. Quack AF. We're like, anyways, but um I'm a big supporter of the idea that like we kind of can decide. If we work together, we can decide what the world is, what the world becomes. And I feel like there'll definitely be a point in history where we are the decision makers of our own fate. Like we can't control everything, we can't control the sun. Right. However, if we were to support each other, we could change how our society is affected by it. And I feel as though right now, because everyone's everywhere and thinking about all these different things, and not and not only that, but also thinking more selfishly and inward, that it's like, dang, we might not be able to survive this tragedy because we don't want to support each other. So if we choose to do that, then maybe we can actually like be a lot better off than we might think we would be. Which is why I'm kind of like always big on like getting to know people, you know, friends, put my friends together, that sort of thing. Because it's just like the more people you know, the more chances it that it is that people will figure out something to help you. That's the beauty of community.

SPEAKER_04 40:35

Yeah. Community right there. Very important. Community is so important. We cannot exist individually and be successful, in my opinion. I I think the same thing. Like, we need to have community in order to be supported, in order to build, in order to get new ideas, because you don't have all the answers. Like, you were not, you don't have all the answers. Yeah. Like, it's there are people that are on this earth put here for specific purposes that only they can, and I'm this is not that kind of show, but like they're they're putting this earth for specific purposes and reasons that only they can fulfill, that you can't do. Yeah. There's things that you just can't do that you need to help, you need to ask for help for.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Like, I publicly fart. Like, not everyone could do that.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

Like, there are some people who are needed to fart, okay, for that methane. I okay.

SPEAKER_04 41:26

Like we also have cows, so let's give that to the cows. Let's put the cows.

SPEAKER_05 41:31

Yeah.

unknown 41:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:33

But yeah, no, like you need to be in community. You need to live in community and and embrace your community. Like I said, I need to do a better job because I'm hyper-independent. Understood.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

Some people some people uh realistically don't even have to rely on people, like they don't feel like they can rely on people, so they don't, and kind of just support themselves. And some people can just support themselves, right? Like that is a thing. Right. Um, it just people should learn to rely on others, like that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_04 41:56

Right, and like should relax and release some of that responsibility so that you're not taking on the workload by yourself because that's what leads to a lot of anxiety, is that you're taking on this workload thinking that it's only you're affected by it. Like find some community groups, find some support groups that are going through the exact same thing you're going through so that you can find more ideas on how to be in a better situation. And I say I feel that's I feel that's easier said than done, but but I think that that's a good place to start to where you're finding other people that are in your community that can actually help you and support you in what you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 42:33

Absolutely. And so, with this understanding of a start to be better in an economy like this, if you're around our age or whatnot, maybe there are some things you can do to be a bad bitch while the world hates you. So well, first of all, being a bad bitch.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

How can you be a bad bitch when being a bad bitch means being the most authentic to yourself, whatever that means. Right. Whatever that means for that day.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

Does that mean be rude to everybody? No. Does that mean be a bitch to everyone? No. Does that mean running over a child with a car? Actually, yes. You need to do that in order to be a better person. So unfortunately, it's a little required, buddy. Uh but literally though, uh to be a bad bitch, you just need to be yourself. Yeah, you truly do. You need to use a clay.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

You need to be me who off the fucking mic. We don't need this.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

But like for real though, like we're saying that, and like you said, bad bitch is just like bad bitch is bad bitch is not a demeaning thing. Bad bitch is a very empowering thing. If you're gay, you um right. But some people some people might not like that. Uh I'm gonna be a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 43:49

I'll become a bitch.

SPEAKER_04 43:50

Yeah, but like I said, it uh I don't take like I said, I don't take offense to it, but yeah, just being yourself, being who you are, whoever that is. Like I said, you know how to be bad. Bitch, you be you can be that nigga. You can be that um you can be that wigger, but no.

SPEAKER_00 44:05

Please don't say that word. Like it's a real one.

SPEAKER_04 44:08

But whatever, whatever, like whatever like adjective or noun you want to put into that place, be the best you can be at being who you are. Right. Like being the best carpenter, being the best um fucking handyman, being the best um fucking see, that's why were you trying to avoid that one? I was not trying to avoid it, but like you were taking too long. Right. You wanted me to say something. Right. But just just being the best at what you can do at being like that's one of the ways I felt you can be a bad bitch. Right. Um in this in this crazy, crazy world.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Yeah. I mean, just keeping keeping it real to kind of be yourself is an important part to a lot of different aspects of life. Because you need to have that self-confidence, that self-esteem to get through a lot of things that you're gonna struggle with in life. And having that sort of thing while going through something like a quarter life crisis is kind of hard because you feel like you don't really matter and stuff like that. But in a sense, you you have a value. You it doesn't have to like be something that can be immeasure immeasurable to some degree. It can be it could you just have value because you exist as a human who breathes. It's it's gonna be kind of hard to realize that if you're anything like me, that's for fucking sure. But you have value.

SPEAKER_01 45:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

So you matter.

SPEAKER_04 45:38

You matter. What? Oh, that was too sappy. Oh, that was too sappy, but what the fuck? Your ass thing was happy now? It was just am I a dance altar tree menu? Over here, like Martha Stewart ass, like you matter.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

You matter.

SPEAKER_04 45:52

Like, okay. All right. Um, but yeah, you have value, you matter.

SPEAKER_02 45:55

Um that sort of thing, yeah. Just just believe, believe in that. Just literally believe in that. And be nice to other people for the sake of being nice to other people. Talk to people about shit.

SPEAKER_04 46:08

That's what I was gonna say. Talk to people about what you're going through. Find trusted people about and talk to them about what you're going through. Because I f I feel like I promise you it's not gonna feel well, I can't promise you, but it might not feel as bad you communicating it with somebody else because they might be either going through the exact same thing you're going through and maybe to get maybe able to help you or whatever, or you could help each other. Like that's the beauty of finding that community within the people.

SPEAKER_02 46:35

It does and definitely help to have the right people in your life, I can say that will support you, because sometimes we all are kind of like doing our own thing and can't always help in the way we would want to. But I will say that if you find if you know someone who you could trust with your feelings, then please give them that. Just just let them know. Because having that outside your head helps. I think we talked about this before. We certainly said this before, where I was like, just having that sort of thing out of outside of your head is better than not. It might sound really stupid and dumb and stupid and dumb, but like I tell you this uh cliches are cliches for a reason.

SPEAKER_04 47:12

I think that we as creatives, like we naturally have a creative outlet.

SPEAKER_02 47:17

Like you do are yeah, I piss on my I piss on my cat sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 47:20

Right, okay. I go so and so we naturally have different outlets, but people might not have those type of outlets. So but I feel like you should be able to tap into your try and tap into your creativity to express your what you're going through. Yeah. Like whether it be journaling, whether it be making voice notes, whether it be going on fucking tick making TikToks, going on TikTok live, some express your creativity somehow, and I feel like that would also help you get out those emotions and express them so you're not holding on to them. Like express them the most raw way you can through music, express them as you do art, express them through journaling, do whatever. Express those emotions in a safe way. Um express those emotions, like, or if you don't feel like that, try and talk to somebody, just talk to try and talk to somebody, like just start off a conversation, but hey, how you doing? And shit like that. Start start a conversation, just talk about yeah, what you not don't start trauma dumping, but just just start, I don't know, just start, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

Again, you need those people who you can trust to talk to. I will say that for from experience, but I but yes, it is very useful to do that. And please, if you feel as though you aren't good enough to do something, just do it. Because you you are, okay. You don't need to like be the best voice note on your you know, you don't need to have like the most perfect voice note on your on your on your phone. You don't need to have the most wonderfully written, most precise written sentence in your journal. Okay. The the point of creative expression is just to express. So just do that. Right. That's just generally it. Um don't stop yourself. I I definitely could say like the idea of trying to get something perfect has stopped me from doing so many things. Right. So if you could just do it, it is better to exist than not to. So please just do it.

SPEAKER_04 49:20

Yeah, I was just about to say that perfectionism. I was talking to somebody about oh, I think it was I was at an open mic night the other day. And we were talking about perfectionism, huh? Where were you at actually? It was at um place called Common Grounds.

SPEAKER_05 49:32

Oh my god! Yeah, woo.

SPEAKER_04 49:36

What?

SPEAKER_02 49:38

I'm sorry. That's the coffee shop that I know. I like I love that coffee.

SPEAKER_04 49:41

That was the first time I've been. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 49:43

Yeah, I I forgot I was supposed to take you at some point.

SPEAKER_04 49:45

I wanted to take it. I'll take you. Yeah. But yeah, so yeah. You said you went to Open Mike and what? Yeah, Open Mike Night. And we were just we we were chopping it up with one of the um performers, and she was just talking about how like a song that she wanted to put out or she was putting out, she didn't feel like it was done, but God just said, all right, just put it out anyway. It was a gospel song, it was a Christian song, right? A Christian song. Yeah. But I feel like that is what a lot of people get caught up in. The perfectionists, like, oh, I need to tweak this, or oh, it's not finished, oh the sound vocals don't sound right. Like, it's never ever gonna be perfect. Yeah, like there's always gonna be something you could tweak and do better. Which is also fun. Like, and I still feel like as a music creative, yeah. Like I always feel like, oh, I could have done that a little harder, I could have done it a little different. But you like you're saying, it's better to just get it out there and just let the chips fall where they may instead of never releasing it and because you want it to be perfect.

SPEAKER_02 50:43

Right. Um and so that's like yeah, that's that's the that's the creative stomp right there, just to put anyone put anyone who was scared of any of those ideas of how to express themselves. Like you said, if you got an idea out there, put it out there. If it's yeah, put it out there.

SPEAKER_01 50:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:57

Um I still say you should piss on your cat. Okay. Don't piss on your cat. Don't piss on your cat.

SPEAKER_02 51:05

If you're expressing yourself, dude, don't piss on your cat. If that's how you express yourself, especially if it's a white cat, that's the funniest way.

SPEAKER_04 51:12

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

And now we're on a different show. Now we got a different show.

SPEAKER_04 51:18

Um Quack AF, we're like Piss AF. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:22

Why are we on the same wave like that?

SPEAKER_04 51:25

So, okay, I have a question. Because you did a little, like I said, you're in a little research. What other feelings uh came up with the no.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

I'm gonna I'm gonna try and do my best to remember, but you know for a fact.

unknown 51:39

Oh God.

SPEAKER_02 51:41

What? I forgot to turn my thing off. I almost got another loudest notification. All right.

SPEAKER_04 51:45

Um like you said, what are some other characteristics of a core light crisis?

SPEAKER_02 51:49

I did I definitely did mention the lack of self-worth. It's a thing of um could have gone smoothly, but you know what?

SPEAKER_04 52:02

Oh, going back, the monolith. Oh my callback. Oh, it's a big ass piece of stone. It's one architectural that's a big, big piece of stone. Yeah. So monolith. Yeah. Why did you mention that again right now, actually? Because it looked like you needed some time to fill. So I gave you that time to come and look at what the fuck you had to look up.

SPEAKER_02 52:21

You see, it wasn't as smooth though, because I was looking at my fucking phone and then I was like, I gotta give my I gotta give my partner attention. But you could have been looking up what I didn't know you were talking to them.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

I'm not gonna talk to me. Okay. Well, now I know. So give them more time and talk about your little rock. That was it. It was a monolith.

SPEAKER_04 52:39

It's an architectural sentence. It's an architectural, okay. A monolith is a geological or architectural feature consisting of a single massive stone or rock. Such as yeah, that's different examples.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

That's the AI example. Can you give us like a trade example?

SPEAKER_04 52:54

That's what I fucking told you. It's a big ass rock. That's what it is. The trade example, it's a big ass rock.

SPEAKER_02 53:00

It's one big ass rock. Obviously, it's bigger than a big ass rock because it's more than just a big ass rock because it's like a thing.

SPEAKER_04 53:06

That's why I read the fucking AI shit. You see how they fucking rage make me on this motherfucking show?

SPEAKER_00 53:13

I love it. I love the thing. I love the thing. Like there's fucking multiple people in there. Yeah, there is. It's just me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:20

In in the ghosts of next next next year. Right. So yeah, happy shit. Yes, I love the shit. Okay. Okay. So obviously speaking, we talked about the um anxiety of it, uh, the the inability, the failure to feel as though they launched into adulthood. Uh, word for word there. High function anxiety was also a thing, and also as well as situational anxiety. So, okay.

SPEAKER_04 53:43

So high functioning anxiety. Yeah. I think I know what that means. You said that you were, yeah. If you want to. So with high functioning anxiety, it's like high high functioning alcoholic.

unknown 53:53

What?

SPEAKER_04 53:54

You're able, you struggle with this problem, you struggle with the problem of anxiety, but you're able to push through it and do things that normal people quote unquote normal people would be able to do.

SPEAKER_02 54:05

Okay, so wait a minute. What alcoholism? Like an alcoholic can like high function? I didn't even know that. You never knew about that? Like when you say that, what does it mean? Like they can like still function a car while they're still drunk at the time.

SPEAKER_04 54:17

I mean, yeah, there's some people that do that, like um, that are just into that are just drink a lot and they get drunk a lot. Oh, totally. But they go to work, they fucking drive cars, they handle big ass machinery, they just do things. Uh-huh. But even though they're alcoholic. How queer. Okay. Yeah, that's high functioning alcoholic. Oh, okay. So they're not necessarily you don't think, oh, they're just strung out everywhere just being a drunk in their house. Like, there's not there's like you said, there's high functioning alcoholics that can do more than just sitting in the house and just being on that scissor.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

And so you're applying that same logic to a uh person with anxiety or a person who experiences anxiety. Right.

SPEAKER_04 54:57

Like with personal experiences anxiety, it's somebody that still struggles with anxiety, but has the ability to function and get through the day. Like, there's high functioning anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 55:09

Oops, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 55:09

You don't think there's high functioning anxiety, there's high functioning depression. Like, because a lot of the times, bitch, we don't have a lot of space to feel our emotions just as just general people. We don't have a whole lot of space to feel our emotions, and so bitch, it's just I need to go, bitch. I gotta go. I got a fucking job, I got kids to worry about, I got this, I got mouth to feed, myself included. Like, there's a lot to worry about. And so I can't stop and be, oh, well, I'm depressed. So I can't feel emotions. But then, like I said, when you're when you're home alone in those those four walls, it's just you, yeah, like that's when it all hits. That's when it starts to hit. And so that's when that's when people that have high functioning um like anxiety, high functioning depression probably it probably ascends from ADHD too. I don't know a whole lot about AHD. But like I'm wondering, like, if you're just not, you don't have the you can't focus on one thing, so you're focused on everything else. Right. So you're avoid and those avoidant tendencies, you're trying to avoid your own problems, so you're focused on everything else. So that's and you're able to do more. So that's why I think with high functioning anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 56:20

And I guess you kind of got the you kind of hit the the nail on the coffin there. Is that what that is that what that is? Nail on the coffin? Is that what I'm saying? I I guess so. Have you never heard that before in your life?

SPEAKER_04 56:28

I've heard hit the hit the nail on the head.

SPEAKER_02 56:31

Oh, damn it, was that then? Yeah. And I just kind of kind of just added down to the case.

SPEAKER_04 56:35

Because when you say put the nail to the put the nail on the coffin, you're like, all right, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 56:39

Period. That's the end of the conversation. That's it's a bit more uh morbid. Yeah, it's a bit more morbid. Yeah. Um you did hit the nail on the head though, because that's exactly kind of what it means from what I looked up, at least. It was like just a person who can exist with those feelings, but they are able to like subdue them for during that period of time where it's just like, oh, I gotta get this done, I need to do this, that sort of thing, and just kind of like keep their emotions from being shown, that sort of thing. Like a person who would in a is in a is in a high stress situation, but they don't show stress. That's just because they are too they want to just get this task done, that sort of thing. So that's kind of how that works. Uh there's also situational anxiety, but I think that's like a it sounds like a charm response to me where it's just like, oh, this specific situation caused me stress to where I have anxiety about this thing. Like I'm too scared. I burned my hand on an aisle one time, and now every time I have to put my hand on an aisle, ouchy, I know that's gonna hurt. That sort of thing. Are you just afraid of ovens now or stoves? Is there like a better example I could give that isn't that stupid?

SPEAKER_04 57:41

Well, that's probably I mean that's that's a that's really example, but like you can apply that to different things.

SPEAKER_02 57:45

Like you relationships like love, like love, like being in a relationship and like, oh, I don't wanna be I don't get hurt again, so I don't do it again. That sort of thing, or right, and I think it actually applies to me. Like I actually can't.

SPEAKER_04 57:57

There was a guy, I'm gonna I've probably talked about a story.

SPEAKER_02 57:59

Oh, story time with Trey. I tell you about Gun Guy. Storytime with Trey. It's my time of sing this time. Okay, for you.

SPEAKER_04 58:06

That was kind of yeah. Okay. Not quack it. Chomp it. Um Did I tell you about Gun Guy? You told me about Gun Guy, but he told you about Gun Guy. Okay, we're not gonna call I might not call him, we might call him Pew Pew Guy.

SPEAKER_02 58:20

I am not gonna call anyone pew guy. You probably really come with a fucking better name. Colin, bitch.

SPEAKER_04 58:24

You might call him Colin. Um okay, I'll just call him Colin.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

You're actually gonna go with Colin, okay?

SPEAKER_04 58:28

Yeah, I'm gonna call him Colin. So I linked up with Colin, and after um we linked up. I was driving him because he didn't have a car. He had a motorcycle, but he didn't want that loud ass motorcycle to like be driving through the night, right? So I picked him up and I put he couldn't host either, so I took him back to my place. Everything was cool and dandy, whatever, everything was fine. And then I drive him back, and all of a sudden he we were just talking, chit-chat, and he was like, Oh yeah, um, you should watch you bring it to your house. I was like, What? And I kid you not, Colin pulls out a blicky. I'm not gonna say, I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna say the word. You're not gonna say the word. I'm gonna say the word anymore because my head bleeped that out. Okay. But just, and I was like, whoa, and like I started swerving the car, and it was just like, oh no, you actually it's a joke, it's a joke.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 59:23

I was like, are you serious?

SPEAKER_02 59:26

When you when you first told me that, I was like, there's no way this is you told me the man said you better watch you bring up your car. I'm like, Trey, are you still alive?

SPEAKER_04 59:37

It was crazy. He was just like I said, it was just it was a lame ass joke. I don't know why he thought that was gonna be funny or what that was gonna be. You said he was younger, right? You said he was younger. He was younger than me. He was a Y-n. Yeah, he had a fucking ski mask on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Y-N situation. Yeah. It was just like, it was just a lot going on. I was just like, I was not prepared for that. And just whip out a gun or a pew-pew, whatever, just like doing that. Like, it was just crazy. It was craziness. And so I think some I have some type of anxiety about that because I'm just like, that was crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:08

So, like the idea of having another person who you hook up with in your car probably like bring up that idea again where they could be another person who could dress. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:15

Which I don't want to say it's unrealistic, but it's just like it just that's what anxiety does. I feel like it it causes you to make things feel more real than what they actually are. It makes 'cause your brain doesn't know sometimes the difference between imagination and reality. Right. And so that's why they always talk about manifestation things and thinking about your life and planning for the future, because your brain doesn't know the difference between sometimes between imagination and reality. And so your brain will start acting out on those your imagination, all those preconceptions that you have. Right. And it could be a good thing and a bad thing. I think the bad way it goes leads into anxiety. The good thing, it leads into you having a better future for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:03

So replacing those negative thoughts with positive things could be ways that you could um build up your mental health and build up your immunity to shit like that, I guess. So you say I don't I can't say that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:16

That's a very interesting way to go about it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:18

Yeah, but just shit like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:20

Okay, okay, okay, real, real, real.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:22

So that's so that's situation anxiety.

unknown 1:01:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Uh I was also gonna say that the other qualities of like the quarter life crisis are like things like hating your life, disillusionment, as well as keeping yourself away from friends and family. And again, the more I look gonna the more I look at this list, I'm like, damn.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:39

Um notes on my part, but you know how can experience this.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:47

Yeah, it's it's especially keeping yourself away from family. It's just like and friends. And friends. Okay, I'll speak on the I'll speak on the family.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

Yeah, I was gonna say if you're gonna speak on the family.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:58

Because I I didn't grow up, like I was the only person that was my age and my family. Like, the close person that's to me is like I'm 26. The next person, he just I think is his sophomore year in college coming up, I think. Uh-huh. So he's 19, going on 20. Oh, okay. Somewhere around there. And that's a different stage. I can I can help him, I can help him, advise him, whatever you want to call that if he if he asks for my help.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:25

Y'all can high five and that'll be it. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:27

But but as far as family goes, like I don't I don't have a whole lot of peers that were my age growing up. Again, like having to go up, grow up, and having to figure out on your own what to do. Like the youngest person that was close to me was his him. He's 20-something, like 20, like I said, I want to say 20 or 19, something like that. The next person above me is 30 something. Oh my god. Like late 30s. Well, that's not terrible. I mean I mean, but damn, bitch, they're drinking. I can't drink. They're already drinking, they already got fucking kids. And like I said, as far as like the grand, like the grandchildren go, for my grandma, the grandchildren, I'm the youngest grandchild. Yeah. All the other ones go up from there. Golly. And so it's just there's not, I haven't had a whole lot of community. And so how do you how do you navigate that? Yeah, it was interesting navigating that. I brought that up for a reason. Oh, I think you said going going staying with family friends. Like staying with family and friends, like that sort of thing key. Because I don't have that sense of like, oh, well, these people are my age and mostly being queer, huh?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:35

Oh, like that idea of like I should talk to them. I should like engage with them to Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:38

And it just feels like there's gonna be a disconnect. There's gonna be some kind of age divide, some age gap between there. And so that's why I sometimes don't hang out on my family. Like I said, I hung out this weekend over um, I can't hit this thing. I hung out for um Fourth July, and I just I felt not out of place necessarily, but I was just sitting there by myself because I'm like, I didn't really have a lot of people that are my age there. Um, but I still had a good time, but everyone kept on asking me guys I was sitting by myself. Are you okay? You good, you good, you good. I'm like, yes, I'm good, I'm okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:08

They're like, hey, okay, little gay boy, are you okay?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:10

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:11

So yeah, I think Can I ask? I'm sorry. Are there any more queer people in your family like you you know about? That I know about?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:17

Yeah, that's another thing, too. Nope. Not that I know about that are gay, gay? Yeah. No. Okay, got it. Nobody like so you have no one to really like. My okay, the close thing to it is my uncle, so my dad's brother married somebody, married a woman. Nice. Her sister has a trans daughter. Wow, okay. So that's the closest to the queer experience that I know about in our family.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:47

Like, that was three steps away from you entirely.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:50

She's like, she's technically my cousin, but she's not my cousin by blood.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:55

How old is the daughter?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:56

I'm not entirely sure. She might be like 20 something.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:59

Okay, so she's still younger than you, but like, yeah, so yeah, she's definitely younger. Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:03

That's the closest. So, like I said, growing up like that, um, and not having people and peers to c co-navigate that with was very interesting. And if it was again having to forge your own path.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

Now I'm thinking about that and I'm wondering, like Damn bitch, what the fuck is so funny? Bitch, I'm gonna laugh. Okay. I'm gonna be real. Okay. I said segue words, and then like my thought process was like, wait a minute, you're about to talk about sex. This has nothing to do at all with what he was about to say. I I was thinking like, okay, think about peers, that sort of thing, and like, okay, you've obviously gotten to talk to people who are queer who are your peers. And I'm thinking like, I don't know why. The thought of like I went instantly to pillow talk and I was like, huh, you know, you've probably got to talking to people, got it got to know people's ideals, that sort of thing. You just let not even that.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:00

Just there's we're on a mission.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:02

What? We're on a mission. Well, I kind of fucked up. I forgot. I'm so demisexual. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:10

I'm not. I'm on like you said, I'm on a mission.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:13

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:14

Get in, get out.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:15

I can't. I I no cuddle, no fucking, no fucking.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:21

I would love to, but I have not met anybody. Well, haven't met anybody that I would want to do that with that wants to do that with me. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:29

God damn.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:29

Uh I'm right here, trades, okay? I'm right here. I'm right here.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:34

But like I said, it could be the place I'm looking, like it's just whatever, but but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:38

Yeah, I was thinking about that just because I'm like, you know, usually when it comes to after sex situations, you you get to talk intimately with somebody. So it's like, okay, maybe it's like maybe you've gotten to hear some ideals of how people have struggled in their own lives and kind of kind of compare this to yours and whatnot sort of thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:53

But No, it's it's happened to me one time and like he's now one of my friends. He's talking about me, guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:02

Nope. He's talking about me. Alright. We had we had an intimate time. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:09

You see, are you saying right, guys? Yeah, we're there. He's not saying left. Let me tell you that.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:16

Okay. But alright. Yeah, just just not growing up and feeling like you're alone and just being in those weird years of like you're not really an established adult, you're still transitioning into being an adult. Yeah, you're transiting. And just like I said, you're gonna get a show of candles.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:38

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:39

I'm sorry. But just having those um those like ideas in your head to make you feel like you're separated from everyone else, like that's not that's like I said, you need to connect, you need to reach out and talk to people. Talk to people about your experience because I guarantee you're not the only one going through your experience.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:58

Do you well how do you find your peers, I suppose, if you were the case? Because you obviously, if there's none in your family, then you had to like go out source.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:04

Well, internet, interwebs, a grinder, yeah, just the regular sex apps then. The apps, um going, I said I'm just now starting to go out and go out to different places. Like college is a great place to meet people and make new friends. But I've only kept well, because everyone else moved away, I only kept one. Yeah, it was so. I was thinking about this the other day. I was like, bitch, you're the only friend that I've kept. Like, there was a couple, but she moved to Georgia. I'm still close to her, but she moved to Georgia.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:38

Um I was thinking the same thing the other day. I was like, is there anybody else from our college that I'm still friends with? Nope. And I'm like, oh my god. Yeah. Yes, I actually am. My art friend, she's great. We still talk. So we I still have her, and we have we actually have met each other maybe like two three, two, three times a year, but you know, still. Two times a year. I when it comes to friendships, when it comes to friendships, no friends right there. Yeah, exactly. Like we still are friend friends, we just can't meet each other as much as we would want to.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:11

And we still very much the same people, just like old nerdy type of type shit. It's like really cool. We just finished watching, what was it? Um, the Finance of Freddy's movie too. Oh, okay. Like we were watching stupid, dumb shit, and we were laughing together. So it's like for us, that's literally just how it is. But yeah, you're you're yeah, you and one little person are people from GC that I really like met. And it's like, oh God, times really are changing.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:34

It's just I don't know what that is, because it happens in high school too. I don't know what the the shedding of friendships. Well I guess you I guess you discover who your true friends are.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:44

Yeah, it's like a thing where it's like, oh, you go, you have make friends easy, but you don't always keep friends as easy. Because it's like people have circumstances, people move away. And people go ahead. I can go? Yeah, I said go ahead. The fuck? Are you sure? Are you sure I can go? Yes. Because you were about to say something.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:03

I was, I had a third thing. Yeah, right. Okay, that's right. You saw my finger going up. Yeah, so I stopped and said, Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

I can go ahead now.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:11

No. Because now you're gonna fucking forget it. But oh, oh, now I gotta forget it. Okay, okay. All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:16

People are just dicks. Sometimes people are just mean, and you just realize, oh, maybe you aren't as great of a friend to have as I would think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:23

And I was gonna say, sometimes you're just friends with people for convenience. Like you're just hanging out with, like you're just around them. Oh, like you're around them the most. I thought about that too. Like I said, a lot of people. Yeah, I wasn't finished. Oh. Didn't you want to talk about that shit? Did you want to talk about that shit? I wasn't even talking about shit. I was just wanna talk about that. Can I finish? Can I finish? I can't I had a dirty thing. I had a dirty thing. The fuck? Shit. Hold that South Park character over there. Like that dirt thing. Okay, the fuck. You were saying. Anyways, just hanging out with those people and just being around because you had the same class together. Like, yeah. Just being around, like, I feel like people, like I said, because I've I've done it before, definitely. Like, got into relationship with people because you were just close romantic, because you were there all the time. Which I think, I don't know, I think I'm trying to learn that lesson right now. I think it's one of my lessons I'm learning right now, just not having to not being with someone for convenience. Yeah. Being with someone because you actually choose them. Yeah and not out of convenience.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:29

Yeah, I can't say like, I mean, truth be told, I I definitely think about this and I'm like, hmm. Some relationships. No. Only one of them, never mind, yeah. Where it was like, uh, you know, you're here, you were close. I kind of like you. You know, I know you like me, that sort of thing. Where it was like, oh yeah. Um, and you that that always can either go really well or go really badly. And I feel as though it's more bad than good in those cases.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:03

Yeah, and it's just like love is not love is a choice, but love is a love is an active choice, I feel like. Because you're not always gonna like that person. Yeah. So you have to actually.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:16

You do have to like, you know, I still love you, even though right now you pissed in my cereal and I do not want to be around you. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:24

Well, if someone's pissing your cereal, I bet you should probably drop them. I mean I might be into it, I don't know. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:31

Secret King Shame. Secret JJ. Secret J Shake King. Yeah. Announcement on the chat. I'm actually really into piss. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:40

Uh, all my friends, all my straight friends who listen to this, niggas gonna start pissing your fucking cereal.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:47

Hey, hey JJ, I made a bowl of cereal for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:50

Eat my piss.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:53

Oh, the fucking the fucking help.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:56

I love that. Yep. I got that one. All right. I'm playing. We have too much fun. We have too much fun. Okay, is it time?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:09

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:11

All right. So um I had sex on Tuesday, March 8th. All right. It's time for us to get going. Uh, but thank you for listening so much. Yes. We uh hope that after everything to that we discussed today, you don't have a quarter life crisis and maybe just save it for the mid midlife, you know?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:28

But if you are having one and are in the process of having one or you don't know what it is, like I said, reach out to somebody. Reach out and take it. I knew a song was coming. I knew that shit was coming. Tell them about your life. You don't have to tell them about Jesus, but tell them about your life. It's a gospel song. It is a gospel song, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:49

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:50

Hey, that's why I didn't know it. Okay. Um, but yeah, just reach out in the community. Like, reach, reach out.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:56

Just reach out. Yeah, just like actually engage in things in the community that you think you might be able to do.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:01

And that doesn't mean just the queer community, it doesn't mean just the black community, just the community in general.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:05

Yeah, like do something. You like going, do you like you like uh playing golf? Yeah. Uh go to a golf top golf if you can afford it.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:12

But go to top golf. Why not?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:15

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Uh, two things. Who the fuck is going to Top Golf? Bitches go to Top Golf. What the fuck are you talking about? Who goes to Top Golf up? This is not the time. This is not the time. Okay. Off the camera on you. Off the camera on you. So by Oh my God. Uh don't forget to uh what is it? Tip tip. Yes. I know how to remember that one now. But you just penis tip. Oh, that's okay. I know how to remember it now because I can just do it associated with it. Two-fit. Yeah. Tip the dop. You always want the tip. So please, if you want our tips, give us a tip. All right. And we'll make sure it happens.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:48

On coffee, coffee, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:51

Stream my music.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:52

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:53

Stream My Music.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:58

Okay. Right. Stream My Disney. Listen to it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:00

Listen to it on all your streaming platforms or something. As well as more quack AF coming up on your Disney channel. Okay. Can we mention Disney Channel over here? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:19

You're listening to QX Play Radio. Yeah.