Understanding Mental Health In The Black Community

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:06

With the love of Christ the word. Ebony in Ivory. Living in unity.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Welcome to the Ebony and Ivory Show, where we talk about just about anything except politics. Good morning. I'm Ebony. And I'm Ivory. Thank you for joining us today. So our topic for today is mental health in a black community. Someone reached out to me and asked me if we would address mental health in a black community because she has a daughter, a teenage daughter, who's on meds, and her family is against her being on meds. Now, I don't see anything wrong with meds if it's needed. I have to agree with you. I'm on meds. Hey, I bet half the world or three-quarters of the world are on anxiety or depression meds. You probably get uh uh lesser number if you say who's not on meds, raise your hand.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Five. I mean, I do I understand, you know, some people don't like it, and I wasn't crazy about it either. But but when you need it, you need it. Absolutely, and uh it's just like any other illness or sickness, you know, a diabetic has kidney problems and they treat it with meds anyway.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Blood pressure. Well, I know what you know, I've I I take meds. Yeah, yeah. I went through a period uh when my dad was sick and dying. I think that was a hard time for me. That was the beginning of the hard times, and that was the time that I started taking meds and seeing the therapist. Of course, and then Katrina hit not too long after that. How many of us didn't see a therapist?

SPEAKER_01 1:58

We needed something after a catastrophe.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Exactly. I mean, you know, we can say we can handle it, but this um mental health has always been a stigma in a black community and seeing a therapist, actually. For years, black women and men have been expected to shoulder the burdens, and that's just not the truth. You know, God gave us Luke, who was a doctor. You know, there were but anyway, no one wants to talk about mental health. The numbers of black therapists is growing.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

That's great.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

That's great. And so, yeah, that is a good thing, and what needs to really grow are the black male therapists. I agree. And so I had a conversation with my son, who's a licensed therapist, and I asked him, you know, who was the majority of people that seek therapy as far as the black community? And he said he saw an increased uh number in black males, but they were being enrolled by their moms. He said, very seldom would black dads enroll their children in therapy. Not not that they didn't, right, but it was very seldom seen. And he said, but the parents will enroll the children in therapy, but they would not want to be involved themselves. And they did that so that their children didn't have to struggle with life the way they struggled with.

unknown 3:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Because you know, we there's so much that parents, older parents, have had to deal with, you know, not near as much as we have to do now. There's racism, racism, sorry, excuse me. And you know, that's tough. Racism in any form is tough for somebody. A prejudicedness in any form. And then when it's you're being told in things that you start to believe those things about yourself that aren't true, you know. And so they do that so that their children don't have to struggle the way they did. Um and said that when when they enroll their black sons in therapists, they request black males. Most often than not, they may not have been available. Now I know where um Isaiah worked, he was the only black male therapist. And when those parents requested black male therapists, I mean he couldn't see everybody. Right, right. And so then there are uh white males and white females that are placed in those positions.

unknown 4:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

And I can imagine that would be really hard to relate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Right, because sometimes that the issues are, well, racism for one, skin color, another, hair. There's so many topics that only another black would be able to relate to. And that's not being racist or prejudice, you know. That's like that's that's life. You know, I wouldn't know be uh if it was a Native American, right? They would more than likely want a Native American to be a therapist because they could relate.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Yeah, very true.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

And so it's it's not being racist, it's being real. Um so he found that uh he was telling me that they found that black males were more resistant to therapy, to white therapists, and and that was I I just touched on that subject. But what he did tell me, he said all studies, all theoretical studies were done with white males in mind years ago. Years ago, not even white females, white males. Interesting. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Um, you know, so I mean some of the he's Isaiah said so much, he's it was probably because it was white males who were doing the research and the studies. More than likely.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

More than likely. Interesting. But he gave me some statistics. He said black in 2023, black students were more likely to report attempting suicide. And that's something that doesn't happen that often in a black community. I don't know why. You know, what about in a white community? I I didn't think to ask you about well, how is it handled in a white community as far as um I can only speak from my own experience.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

I mean, I had a mental health issue where I was hospitalized years ago, and of course I was embarrassed about it and wanted to keep it hush-hush and didn't want to, you know, talk about it. So there's always been kind of a stigma, even in the white community.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

But you realize that when you talk about it, your story can help someone else.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Exactly. And yeah, when once I realized that, you know, I haven't been so hesitant. And it just took me, it was a pretty traumatic experience. So it took me a while to get over it and to be able to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

So which none of you know this, but that's how Marsha and I became friends. Yes, because of what she went through, she helped me through what I went through. Um, when my dad was sick, that's when I started dealing with having um anxiety attacks and depression. And your daughter, Dory, is the one that put us together. And so that's here we are. How many years later? 21, 22 years later, and we're still friends. Lord have mercy on my soul.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

He had a plan. Yes, he did.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Yes, he did. So so now you all know that's how we met. Well, actually, that's not how we met, but that's how we became friends, right? Right. You know, over craziness. No pun intended.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

He's still crazy.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Thanks wonder, no one. So that's our story. Um, so to say this, the black therapists are growing, they're increasing. We need more black male therapists. Um, I one day would like to have Isaiah, who he treated, he serviced teenagers and young children. And there's also a young man that spoke at our father-son dinner, who I think he deals with adults, and I'd like to have them on to have a conversation with them and have them because they know firsthand. Yeah, they're the experts. We're not. Absolutely. So don't take what we say as gospel. That's right. All we know is from our point of view, and sometimes our our view is skewed. Is that the word? Very true, very true. Skewed. Yeah, yeah. My vocabulary is definitely increasing. It's it's tutoring all those children.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

That's absolutely what it is.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

That's absolutely what it is. And then I had Isaiah raise Isaiah, who all his words were big words. Um, yeah, he could tell you what the shoestring, the little end of the shoestring was.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Yeah, what is that?

SPEAKER_02 9:11

I don't know. Oh, you can't remember. I can't remember. I know he had a term for it. Yes. Sorry, Isaiah. But anyway, um, you know, we talk about mental health and what we don't understand that even in the Bible days, so many people struggle with mental health. And it shouldn't be taboo because just like you said, if you need, if you are diabetic and you need help, you go to a doctor. If you have cancer, you go to a doctor. Mental health is a health condition.

unknown 9:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

It doesn't mean that you're a lunatic.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Right.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

I mean, there are some issues where people um struggle really bad with uh depression, and that's a black and white. Oh, definitely. So there was a story that you and I talked about um some time ago about this gentleman. Would you like to share that story? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Um, and some of you may remember, it was in the news where this uh young woman was a Ukrainian refugee riding a train home. This was in Charlotte, North Carolina, I believe. And she was minding her own business. Uh, she had come over in 2022 with her mom and her brother and her sister, and um out of the blue, this guy attacks her from the back and stabs her like three times and kills her. And um, you know, she didn't do anything at all to provoke him. But this guy was African American, he was 34 years old, and it it came out that he had been diagnosed uh schizophrenic and paranoid, and um had been trying, his family had been trying to get him help for many years and couldn't.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Probably he needed help long before he became an adult, and it was one of those situations where, you know, they probably blamed it on behavior.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Probably, you're probably right. And his mom tried to get him in a long-term facility, but uh, she was not his guardian, she was told, and so she couldn't do anything there. But when her his sister asked him, why did he do that? And he said, Well, because she was reading my mind. So he had these, you know, I guess episodes of unreality distortion, and uh thought he thought the government had implanted a chip in him and those kind of things. So yeah, very sad story.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Um and he should have had help way before then. Right, right. I remember reading some time ago that um mostly boys, little boys, they when they deal with depression, sometimes it comes out as uh behavior issues. Anger. And they can't express what they're feeling. I believe that. You know, and we have to think about that. These children don't know the words to use. And so sometimes children do deal with depression. But the thing is, talk about it now and not wait. And so that way they know it's okay to express some how I'm feeling, because even now we have children that are nine and ten that are afraid to say, I um my heart hurts, or something I'm sad all the time, you know. And so I was talking about um the people in the Bible. There were so I'm gonna give you just a few that were that dealt with depression. Elijah, Job, and I know many people know about the story of Job, you know, because he was covered with sores, sores, yeah. He was a leopard, everything lost everything, children, animals, everything. Jonah, you know the story of Jonah, right? Jonah and the whale, Naomi. And if you've not read that story, read it. But that story is found in Ruth 1. Moses, Moses struggled with depression because there was a lot on his shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Oh my gosh. Talk about stress, yeah. Leading that many crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

They rebellious people rebellious people who worshiped a golden calf. The Lord didn't just bring you through that. Was after the Red Sea, right? That's right. He didn't just bring you through the Red Sea away from the Egyptians, yeah. He drowned them, but do you want to worship a calf? Uh and then there was David, and then there's Jeremiah. And what is Jeremiah called? They call him the weeping prophet. The weeping prophet.

unknown 13:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Right. So there were very many. I love the psalms because that's where David expresses a lot of his anguish and you know, distress and things like that. So um I think it's a great book. Whenever you're feeling bad, you know, go to the Psalms and get some encouragement from David.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

And there's one psalm that we all know, it's a 23rd Psalm, The Lord is my shepherd. You know, that in itself, he says, The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And he maketh me lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside still waters, he restores my soul.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

You know, all of those are good things that he does for us. You know, and and as we walk through life, he walks with us.

unknown 14:30

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

We don't walk alone, we just have to trust and believe him. And we all have our struggles, whatever they may be, but nothing is too small for him.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

And so it brings me to the next person in the Bible that's dealt with depression. I'm still stuttering. Leads me to the next person. Believe it or not, people, Jesus dealt with depression. And I'm gonna read to you from Matthew 26. This is one account, and Marsha's gonna read another account. This is when Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane. So then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, and then them being the disciples, he said to his disciples, Sit here while I go over there and pray. And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Sorrowful and troubled. Remember those two words. Then he said to them, Here it is, and he said to them, My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch with me. And going a little farther, he fell on his face and prayed, saying, My father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. Now let me tell you, Jesus was depressed because he knew what was coming. He knew the death that he was getting ready and the pain he was getting ready to endure.

unknown 16:02

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

And and he, you know, said he knew it was something he had to do, and he said, Father, if it's possible, but he knew it was something that he was sent to do.

unknown 16:13

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

And so, you know, and I and there are so go ahead and read the other account.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Well, there's an account in Luke from the physician's point of view, the doctor's point of view, there's uh Luke 22, 44, where he says uh he taught he's talking about Jesus and being in agony, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. And believe it or not, that is a real medical condition. Really? It is called uh hematodrosis, hematodrosis, and it's uh a very rare condition, and it causes uh blood to ooze out of sweat glands during times of extreme physical or emotional stress, fears or intense anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

So there you go. Jesus, he was blood was oozing from his forehead. No, well, from his body, from his body, rather. Um, so I mean, even Jesus dealt with depression. So we have to start looking at depression as an illness just like anything else, be it in a black community or the white community. Because we need to start seeking help. Yes, you know, we can't do things all our own on our own. Even in the Bible, there are people who talked about suicide.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

People uh Elijah said he wished you were dead. Lord, just take me now.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

So, I mean, none of this, there's nothing new under the sun. Things that we deal with today, they dealt with back then. And probably far worse than we do because they didn't have as many doctors. I mean, Luke was a physician, he was a doctor, but did he major in mental health issues? Well, he probably had to deal with everything. So we have doctors today who specialize. Very true, you know. So we just yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Anyway, um, and but you know, we know the great physician. Yes, and who is that much? And you know, Jesus says, Come to me, all you who are weary and are heavy laden, and I and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for I am gentle and humble of heart. It's easy. My yoke is easy, and my your burden, my burden is light. My burden is light. So, yeah. First thing is come to him and call to him, first of all, you know. But that still doesn't mean you can't get help, but call to him, and he will. I always give him uh glory for getting me through what I went through, you know. I mean, even though I'm on medication now and I had doctors that attended to me, if it weren't for prayer and supplication and you know, people praying earnestly for me, I don't know if I'd have, you know, really made it.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

So and and God gave us those doctors. Oh, yeah, of course. Whatever gifts we had are from him. Oh, all good. And so we have to stop looking at that as being taboo. Medicine is not taboo. There are people that need it to survive. That gentleman who was schizophrenic, had he had the right medicine, he would be, wouldn't have gone through and this young lady wouldn't have died a brutal death for no reason. I mean, she wasn't bothering him. And so we have to, you know, many people want to say all you got to do is pray. And yes, you pray. But God gives us those people to help us walk through those things. Doctors, so we need to be careful about what we tell people and how we, you know, are against medicine and all these things. And I tell you, the person that reached out to me for that topic, you do what's best for your daughter. And if medicine helps her get through whatever it is she needs to get through, then more power to you. Because guess what? I'm on medicine. And you ask somebody if you we're in a crowd of people of 200 people, and you say, How many of you, you don't say how many of you are on medicine, because it'll be less, it'll be more numbers. You ask how many of you are not on medicine, and it'll be an easier count. You know, because we've we've all dealt. I mean, you think about Katrina.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Oh gosh, stress.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

Very much so. And there were more people, I'm sure, who dealt with stress back then.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

Yep, the the way the doctor explained it to me is that our brains are not made for the kind of stress we have to deal with in this world, and it depletes our chemicals, you know, and stress, stress will kill you. It will kill you.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

So well, you know, I I was just thinking, thinking about back during Moses and all during that time, you know, they were stressed because there were a lot of laws that they had to keep.

unknown 21:26

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

I'd have been stressed, you know, and I bet you, I bet you most not Moses, Noah was stressed.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Imagine, and this is the way I think about it, and y'all are probably nuts, but you think about it. When Mo Noah and his family witnessed Ark and God closed the door, he had to hear people out there screaming because he couldn't when the water started rising. Because you know, at first they thought he was nuts. But imagine what that did to him to have to hear those people screaming and not. No, he couldn't do anything about it.

unknown 22:01

Wow, I hadn't thought about that.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

So, you know, we've we all have dealt with some form of depression. And so we hope you enjoyed today's show. Yes. If you have a question or a topic you'd like us to try to discuss, you can reach out to us. We have a Facebook page, it's Ebony and Ivory Facebook page, and you'll see our pictures. And you can also contact us on Messenger through Facebook. And we have an email address. It's Mom to Minnie M-O-M Lowercase I I M A N Y zero four at gmail.com. We hope you join us on our next show. I'm I'm Ivory. And I'm Ebony. Have a good day.

SPEAKER_03 22:44

Ebony. Ebony and Ivory. Oh