Why Do I Care So Much What People Think?

Why do we care so much about what other people think? 

Whether it's worrying about how we're perceived, replaying conversations in our heads, or changing who we are to gain approval, the fear of people's opinions can quietly become a prison we never intended to live in. 

In this episode of Bible, Basically, we explore what the Bible calls the fear of man and why it's one of the greatest obstacles to living the life God has called us to. Through the stories of Jesus, Paul, and timeless biblical wisdom, we'll discover why chasing everyone's approval always leaves us exhausted, and why true freedom begins when God's voice matters more than the crowd's. 

If you've ever struggled with comparison, people-pleasing, or worrying about what everyone else thinks, this conversation is for you. 

Bible, Basically — figuring out faith, together. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Guys, welcome back to Bible basically, where we are figuring out faith together. And I took a week off. And I am glad I did. I wanted to take the week and not only give you guys a chance to catch up, which I hope some of you did. I watched the numbers. I think maybe one of you is trying to. But look, I look I want to continue the podcast and I want to keep it relevant. And I was trying to come up with topics that we could apply to our everyday lives. And quite frankly, a lot of the times when I'm coming up with topics, it's stuff that I'm going through. And if I'm going through it, I know you are too. So there's going to be a few topics coming up here in the future that, like I said, are going to pertain more towards kind of an everyday life situation. And how can I take the Bible and apply it to my life? A lot of people think that the Bible isn't really relevant anymore. You know, and they're like, oh, it's an old book, and you know, you can't apply that to today's times, and times are different. And I'm telling you, humanity's problems are fundamental and basic in nature. If you break everything down to its most fundamental core problem, problems haven't changed. And you can take biblical application and apply it to today's society without, you know, without question. Because you're dealing with humanity at its core. And our thoughts and opinions haven't really changed. Not much, anyway. Not enough for the Bible to be irrelevant now. And that's an unpopular opinion. People may argue with that. Why do we care so much what other people think? And through the Bible, I want to find freedom from the fear of people's opinions. And this came to me because I was thinking, man, you know, when I started this podcast, I was afraid. I was afraid to post my thoughts. I was afraid to post my religious beliefs. I didn't want to seem like a fanatic. I didn't want to seem, you know, like I was associated with a particular group of people who I don't believe represent Christianity properly. But I don't care anymore. This is stuff that we need to talk about. The Bible is something that we need to apply. And so I'm trying to find freedom from the fear of people's opinions. I mean, think about it this way. Okay, let's break it down. Let's make it more relatable, right? I'm talking about starting a religious podcast. But think about your own life. Have you ever replayed an entire conversation in your head after it was over? You were wondering if you sounded stupid or if you offended somebody, or you're wondering if they misunderstood what you meant. Heck, you might even be wondering if they even like you anymore. We've all done it. And it's funny because those conversations usually end long before we stop having them. They keep playing in our minds over and over again. Maybe someone didn't text you back, someone gave you a weird look. Maybe your boss sent you a short email. You didn't know how to interpret it. Or maybe you posted something online and checked every 10 minutes to see who liked it. Or maybe you didn't even post it because you were afraid of what other people might think. And somewhere along the way, we started believing that our peace depends on others' approval. But this is what I kept pondering this week. When did we give other people that much power? When did strangers or coworkers, friends, and family or complete strangers on the internet become the people who determine whether or not we have a good day? Because I mean, if you ever found yourself changing who you are just so people will like you, you're not alone. I've done it. And I know many others who have. And the Bible actually has a term for it, and it calls it the fear of man. Proverbs 29, 25 says, the fear of man lays a snare. But whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. And that word snare caught my attention when I was doing research for this. A snare is a trap. And notice it doesn't say that people are the trap. The trap is living in fear of what they think. And once you're trapped there, you're never really free. Why aren't you free? Well, because someone's always gonna have an opinion. Someone's always gonna have an opinion. What's the old saying? We all have opinions. Opinions are like something.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

You know what I'm getting at. So whose approval are you living for?

SPEAKER_00 9:04

And the more I thought about that question, the more I realized something. It it really isn't about confidence. It really is about approval. Every one of us is looking for approval. And the question isn't whether we want approval. Everybody does. The question is whose approval matters the most. Paul knew this better than anybody. In Galatians 1 10, he says, For I am now seeking the approval of man or of God. Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. And that is a bold statement. Because Paul understood something that a lot of us learn the hard way, and it's that you can't please everyone, no matter how kind or generous you are, how careful you are. I'm sorry, someone's not going to like you. And if you need everyone's approval, you will spend your entire life completely exhausted. There was one person categorically in the Bible, there's many, but one in particular that didn't care what anybody else thought and spent his brief life on this earth kind of bucking the system. That was Jesus. And by bucking the system, I'm not gonna say he didn't break rules. He obviously was without sin. It wasn't that. He just did what he knew was right and didn't care what other people thought about it. Excuse me. He healed people, they criticized him for it. He fed thousands, and many walked away. He raised Lazarus from the dead, and religious leaders wanted him killed because of it. Think about who we're talking about here. If Jesus couldn't make everyone happy, why do we think that we can? No, guys, the the real freedom, the real freedom that you want starts when we stop trying.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

People's opinions are always gonna change.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Society shifts at a moment's notice. There's a story in the Bible that always amazes me. Palm Sunday, Jesus enters Jerusalem. Palm Sunday, so this is Sunday. Jesus enters Jerusalem, the crowds are cheering, they're waving palm branches, they're shouting Hosanna. And now you fast forward just a couple of days. And many of those same voices are shouting something completely different. They're shouting, crucify him. Just a couple days later. Same city, same week, same people. The opinion shifted. And that tells me something. People's opinions are what happens if you're confident it depends on compliments and criticism comes. Like I've said countless amounts of times in this podcast already, you're gonna discover that people make a terrible foundation. Because people change. And God doesn't. Now I I gotta be careful here. Because I don't want you guys to run around and go, you know what? We shouldn't care about people. That's not what I'm saying. That's not biblical either. We absolutely should care about people, we should listen, we should love, we should be teachable. But there is a difference between caring what people think and allowing what people think to determine who you are. In Colossians, Paul gives us a little better perspective. Colossians 3, 23 and 24 says, Whatever you do, work heartily. As for the Lord, not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. So if you're gonna live for an audience, Paul is saying, live for an audience of one. And not just any one, the one. Imagine how freeing that is. You don't have to win everyone's approval, you don't have to impress everybody. You don't have to spend your life chasing acceptance that's constantly moving because you've already been accepted by Christ. See, and that's the thing. Once again, this isn't works-based salvation that I'm preaching here. Do not get it twisted. I am not saying that in order to get his approval, you have to be a certain way. That's the beauty of being in Christ, is we already have his approval. We don't have to fight for it. We don't have to earn it. He gave it to us freely, even though we didn't deserve it. So you've already been accepted by Christ. And the real gospel begins there. Not with your performance or your reputation or how many people approve of you, but with God's love. And when that truth finally sinks in, everything starts to change. Because then you become free to love people without living for their applause. You become free to tell the truth even when it's unpopular. You're free to follow Jesus whether the crowd is cheering or walking away. Because your identity is no longer built on public opinion, it's built on Christ. I'm gonna tell you right now, people, that's that's what freedom really looks like. It's not pretending that people's opinions don't hurt, but knowing that even if they do hurt, they don't define you. Romans 12,2 says, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God and what is good and acceptable and perfect. And I pray for all of you that today is the day that you guys stop asking, what does everyone else think about me, and start asking, what does God say about me? Because at the end of the day, that's the voice that matters most. Guys, this has been Bible basically, where we are figuring out faith together.