The EXACT Moment Kids Decide Skiing Is For Them

There's a two-second window on the mountain when your child quietly decides whether skiing is going to be their thing — and most ski parents have no idea it's happening. In this episode, Jessica breaks down the exact psychology behind that moment, why it has nothing to do with ski technique, and what you can do to make sure it lands the right way. Whether you're brand new to skiing with kids or trying to turn around a bad experience, this one will change how you show up on the mountain.

What You'll Learn

• Why the "deciding moment" happens much earlier than parents expect — and what children are actually looking for when they look up at you after a fall
• The single most important mindset shift for any ski parent who wants to teach kids to ski without accidentally creating fear or resistance
• The three make-or-break windows during early ski experiences that determine whether children learning to ski feel confident or overwhelmed
• Common family skiing tips that backfire — including well-meaning moves like comparison, running commentary, and pushing to harder terrain too soon
• How to structure the day so your child leaves the mountain wanting to come back — the foundation of everything Jessica teaches in her kids ski lessons and in First Tracks

Key Takeaway

"Kids don't quit activities because they're hard. They quit activities because they feel out of control."

Skiing with Kids is hosted by Jessica Averett, a ski instructor and mom of five who has spent more than 20 years helping kids learn to ski. This podcast helps parents create calmer, happier ski days by focusing on confidence, connection, and simple strategies that actually work with kids on the mountain.  She's the founder of First Tracks: A Parent's Guide to Teaching Kids to Ski, a course that walks parents through everything they need to know to skip overpriced ski school and confidently teach their own kids to ski.

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Transcript

0:02

Hey guys. Welcome back to Skiing with Kids. Today we're talking about something that most parents completely miss. There is an exact moment, and I mean like a super specific moment when your kid is gonna decide whether skiing is gonna be their thing or whether it's just gonna be something that they tolerate or something they dread or something they quietly hoped that you'll stop asking them to do. And here's the wild part. It's not usually when they fall, it's not when they're cold. It's not even when they're struggling. Okay, you guys, it's so much earlier than that. And once you see it, you're not gonna be able to unsee it. I've been teaching kids to ski for over 20 years. I'm a mom of five. I've literally seen thousands of tiny little humans click into skiing, and I've seen just as many quietly shut down. Now, today I'm gonna tell you exactly when that moment happens and how to make sure that you don't accidentally screw it up. Now, most parent parents think that kids are gonna decide that they love skiing like at the top of the lift, right? You know that moment you get up there and you're like, the snow is sparkling, it's beautiful. You have views of all the mountains around you. You wanna take a picture, it's gonna be like your Christmas card this year, right? As adults, we think it's magical, but for kids, that's not when they decide. Parents sometimes think maybe it's when they're gonna get down their first run without falling, or when they get off the bunny hill, or maybe it's that first parallel turn or my favorite when they get that first taste of real powder. No, you guys, the decision happens way before any of that happens, and it's a really quiet moment that's really easy to miss. Now, it's not easy to miss because you don't care. But because parents, guys, when we're out there we're like, we are caring so much, but we can be really distracted from what really matters. Okay. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Um, before I tell you what the real moment is, let me tell you what parents think is making or breaking the experience now. Three things I hear most often. Um, they just need to get better. Once they actually can ski, they will love it. Or you know, we just need better conditions. They need a warmer day, more snow, less crowds, or this one's I hear a lot, it's the gear. They have the wrong size boots, they need different skis. You guys look, those things matter. They're not nothing, but none of those is a deciding factor. The deciding factor, it's like, it's like a two second window, okay? Most parents are completely unaware that it's happening. So let's point out what the moment actually is. So here's what's actually going on. The moment that your kid decides whether like this is gonna be their thing, it's when they first get really overwhelmed and they're gonna look at you. That's it, you guys. That's the moment. They fall, or maybe the slope feels harder or steeper than they expected, or maybe their skis are just sliding down the mountain faster than they want, right? Uh, maybe like someone skis too close to them and they like freeze, right? And they look at you. They're not looking at you for technique or tips or instruction. They just want you to answer one thing. And you say this both with your body language, your tone of voice, and your words. They wanna know, are they safe here? And even bigger than that, they wanna know, am I capable here? They're gonna see it in your face in that split second, and that's gonna be the story they attach to skiing. If they see you panic, they learn that skiing is scary. If they see you frustrated, right? They're gonna learn that There's a lot of pressure in skiing if they feel like there's urgency, right? Like, come on, get up. They're gonna like that kind of energy. They're gonna feel like they have to perform in order to ski. But if they see confidence, if they see calm, they're gonna learn. This is hard, but I can do hard things. And that key insight right there, that happened so early on in the game, that is what I want you to carry outta this episode. Right? You guys, whether it's skiing or something else, your kids don't quit activities because they're hard. Right. They quit activities because they feel out of control. Out of control and challenged. I mean, they look similar from the outside, but they're really different on the inside, right? A kid who's challenged thinks, this is hard, but I can figure hard things out. A kid who feels out of control thinks nothing I do matters, right? I have no power here. Now skiing, if introduced the wrong way, screams out of control at the kids, right? The boots feel like little instruments of torture. Gosh, sometimes as an adult that feels like that, right? The skis don't go where they want 'em to. They fall and they don't understand why. There's just like no logic to it and it feels random and scary. And in that moment that like little two second window right there, they're gonna look at you. And they're deciding which story to believe. Okay. How they actually feel about skiing here. Now, parents, I'm gonna say this gently because I've done versions of this myself, okay? I'm a mom of five. I have taught so many kids to ski, and every situation, honestly, it's unique. Now, parents, I know you want your kid to succeed. You want them to be safe out there. You also don't want them crying in front of a bunch of strangers, or worse, maybe in front of a bunch of friends and family. You don't wanna spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on a day that feels wasted, right? So when they fall, your energy that like little adrenaline inside of you, it like spikes, right? You wanna rush in, you're gonna say things like, it's okay, it's okay. You got it? Or just pizza, pizza, pizza. Or why aren't you turning? I know you can do this. Come on turn. You got this. Or, stand up. Stand up. You are fine. You guys, your tone, even when your words are actually encouraging, it carries pressure. You guys, kids don't process your words first. They process your energy, those vibes you're sending out, right? And when you're sending out this is a problem, their little brains decide, skiing's a problem. Now, this is why some kids cry every time the skis go on. Like this is like before anything bad has even happened, yet their brain remembers that first like overwhelmed, frustrating, scary moment where they felt out of control. And it started as skiing is stressful. Now I wanna name some common specific mistakes I, I see, because I think naming them makes it easier to catch it in yourself. Now the first one, um. Is moving to harder terrain too fast. You guys, I talk about this all the time, but it is really the number one mistake that parents make out there, right? It's that they're doing great on the bunny hill. Let's go. Let's go try a real green, right? But meanwhile, your kid still hasn't like quite processed everything that they're supposed to do on the bunny hill and they're not ready. They need five or 10 or 20 more runs before they're like competent. Now that one run on that little bit harder green where they feel terrified, breaks it down. Now the second thing that parents screw up is comparison. They're gonna be like, Hey, look at that little guy over there. He's zooming. You could totally do that too. I get it. Like as a parent, we mean it as encouraging, right? We're like, Hey, look at the possibilities here. But to your kid, it feels like pressure, right? There, guys, we don't need competition in skiing. We are trying to work with our kids, so make sure that we're all on the same team here. Now, the third, uh, oh gosh, I have been a victim of this so many times of doing this. It's the running commentary. Bend your knees, lean forward. No, no, no. Look up. No, don't, don't look down. Keep your eyes up. Wait on that downhill ski you guys. Now your kid has six things running through their brain while trying not to fall down the mountain. One thing at a time, only one. And the fourth guys, this one is subtle. As you're turning all those fun ski days into a lesson, the real difference between being a supportive presence and being a coach, you guys, I know that we're trying to teach our kids things. We want them to learn how to be good, competent, safe skiers, but really a lot of times they just need space. To play on skis, not to be corrected because honestly I like truthfully, some of the biggest breakthroughs I've ever seen happen. It's just when kids are skiing, right? They're playing around, they're seeing how things feel ski alongside your kid and just don't say anything for a runner or two. Right? Okay. Now let's get into these. Make it or break it Windows here. Um, I wanna get really practical because in my experience there actually are three really specific windows where the, is this my thing decision gets made. Now if you miss these, I mean, there, you can make it up, right? But you're going to be fighting an uphill battle right here. And our goal as parents is we are getting, we want kids who totally love the sport, right? You are skiing with your kids because you love skiing. And your goal is to get kids who are literally begging you to come back every day. Right now, window one you guys, this is like the first five minutes in boots. Okay? This is before your kid like is ever even on the snow. Their relationship with skiing is already being formed, whether that's in the rental shop, in the parking lot, in the backyard, in the lodge. You guys ski boots are genuinely uncomfortable if you have never worn them before and kids. Think like, okay, this is weird. Like they don't feel like any shoes that I've ever tried, that I've ever worn before, they don't feel like my snow boots. And for a kid like this is, this can be really stressful. Like their first memory of skiing is that they have this like stress, anxious parent trying to literally cram their foot into this boot while saying, just walk normal. It's fine. You guys, your kids feel like they're already starting with a deficit Now. What's gonna work better? Slow it down a little bit. Okay? Let your kids have some time getting used to this gear. Okay? Put your own boots on first. Let 'em watch. Say something like, okay, these boots are what make you a real skier. They feel stiff on purpose because they help you stay in control on the mountain. Your kids can handle discomfort when they know. What the point is, right? What they can't handle is discomfort. That feels pointless. Okay, window number two that you need to be watching for, and that is that first fall, because we all know it's gonna happen. Right? It's not like a Oh, if they fall, they know they're gonna fall, you know they're gonna fall. Right. And the window is less about what you do after the fall and more about what you did before it. Yes. I know. I talked about your kid is going to be looking to you. Uh, when they fall for that reassurance that like, they're okay, but you can do a lot to prep them for that so that when they fall, this isn't this scary experience that they're trying to base everything off of. Now, one thing that I like to talk about, um, and I talk about this a little bit in first tracks, is what I call preloading the fall, right before you even get to the ski hill, you're gonna practice falling. And getting up in like a flat, safe spot. Make it fun. Uh, guys, when you're teaching kids, you just wanna be silly, right? Maybe like have a little family race to see who can get up the fastest and suddenly when they're out there on the mountain and they actually fall for real, they're not gonna look at you like in panic. They're not gonna be freaking out, right? They're gonna look at you with something that's like, Hey, this is awesome. I fell and I got up. I did exactly what we practiced. Now that little shift can change the trajectory of the day because falling is no longer scary, right? So first of all, we are, uh, preloading our kids. We are prepping them for, Hey, this is gonna happen. I'm gonna prepare you for this before you get on the mountain. And you are also saying, Hey, when you do fall, I'm gonna reassure you, you are safe here. Okay? Not get up, get up. You've got this. It's okay. I'm gonna give you the reassurance that you need in whatever way speaks to your kid best, that they are safe here on the mountain. Now, window three is that taste of like first real movement. Um, there's a movement and if you've ever skied yourself, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's where like stopping feels like controlled, falling, and starting feels kind of like flying right now for adults. That moment might take years. Now for kids, it can happen like at a variety of points, right? It could happen for some kids on the bunny hill. Other kids, they're not gonna feel it until maybe they're on like a blue. Um, but if someone is creating the right conditions for it, you can have, it can be a great experience. Right now, your job as a parent is not to rush 'em to the top of the mountain. Your job is to go slow enough that they actually feel that moment of movement. Without fear underneath it. Now, when they get it, even just for like two seconds, you're gonna see it on their face, and that's your moment to lock it in. Okay? That moment where they're like, wait a minute, I'm in control here. You're gonna say to 'em, Hey, did you feel that? That's skiing. That's what it feels like. You did that. Okay. Name it, anchor it. And that is what they will remember. That's what they're gonna keep coming back to in those scary moments where they're feeling a little unconfident. Like, wait, I was in control here. Okay. I wanna share a couple of quick stories because I think that stories land in a way that tips don't always. Right. Um, now the first one was a dad. This dad was like a super strong skier, uh, totally skiing, double blacks, no problem. Right? His daughter was nine and had tried skiing twice and refused to go back. He was obviously frustrated, right? I mean, I would be, he kept saying that she was being overly dramatic and having had a lot of nine year olds, sometimes they can be, um, and that she wasn't even trying. However, when I watched the mom on the slope for about 20 minutes, just watching him ski together, it was immediately obvious what was happening. Now, every time she started to get her footing, he'd say, okay, bend your knees more. Lean forward. Look up, not down, not, no, no. Don't look down. Look up. Remember, get those knees bent. She was constantly being managed. She never got to just move around on her ski. She never got to ski. She never got the feel for what real move movement felt like without being corrected through every second of it, we made one change. His only job that day was to ski beside her and say, nothing instructional. Just be there, be her teammate and not her coach. Now, if she asked for any help, he could help her, but he was not to offer anything right now. By the end of the afternoon, she was going down the run on her own and yelling at him to watch her one afternoon. You guys, that was the switch. Now the second family was the complete opposite. Now, we had a mom with a 6-year-old who was genuinely terrified, like shaking before we even got out on the snow for lessons. And here's what I loved about this mom. Okay? She didn't push it. She said, you know what? We don't have to ski today. We can just walk around in our boots and look at the mountain. She didn't push ski school. She didn't push getting on the chairlift. And literally that's what they did. They watched other skiers from the deck. They talked about what everybody was doing. They had a fun lunch together. They people watched. Okay? Now, at the very end of the day, the boy said he wanted to try the magic carpet just once. He went up and down twice, and guess what? That kid came off grinning. They went home, and the next day he was literally dragging her towards that magic carpet to get back there and practice. She didn't force it, but she created the conditions for it to happen on his own terms. Now you guys, every kid is gonna have different moments where they need support in different ways. Um, like I talked about with this 9-year-old, um, kids, especially as they get older, they want some autonomy. They wanna feel like they are in control. You guys, I have seen this so many times. I have felt this as a parent. Um. My kids are, my kids are getting older and we have been through this phase with all of them. They don't wanna be micromanaged. They wanna feel like they're in control on the mountain, and once they do, okay, they can have that moment where they're like, wow, this is awesome. It clicks and it's theirs. Okay. Think about what your kid needs. Think about what space they need in this moment so that they can really own this, because we are not just creating like. A skier who goes for the weekend. We are creating lifetime skiers. Now, here's the truth, you guys, no one teaches parents this stuff. Ski school doesn't teach you how to manage your own energy on the mountain, right? The rental shop isn't like, the tech there isn't gonna be like, okay, here's your progression. Psychology, right? Instagram is gonna show you the highlight reel, the big smiles, uh, the matching outfits, the kids zooming, everybody having a good time. But nobody shows you. How do you structure that first ski day, when to stop, how to prevent the fear before it starts, and how to help your kid have these breakthrough moments where they decide, you know what? I'm a skier. You know? How do you build that confidence step by step instead of unintentionally chipping away at it? Okay. Parents, you do not have to be left guessing, and because guessing on the mountain is expensive. Like it's expensive financially and emotionally. This is exactly why I created First Tracks, A Parents' Guide to Teaching Kids to Ski because you guys, it's not about technique. It is about psychology. It's about progression. It's knowing when to push, when to stop, when to play, and when to just dial it back for 10 minutes and let your kids mess around. Okay? Inside First Tracks, I'm gonna walk you through how to structure. That first session, how to structure those first few skills, the progression that kids actually need, so that they have the skills that they need to get to where they want to on the mountain to be able to ski what they need to ski, how to prevent fear and build skills so that instead of just hoping that your kid loves skiing, you build it intentionally. Okay. You don't waste seasons guessing. You don't rely on the ski school roulette of hoping that you'll get a ski, a good ski teacher, right? You're not gonna lose the magic window. You're raising a skier on purpose. Okay? Now, if you are interested in first tracks, go check it out@skiingkid.com. The link is also in the show notes. Parents, you have the power to help your kid have really intentional, really awesome days where they fall in love with skiing. Okay. There are specific moments you are setting the tone for your kid, not just today, but all throughout their skiing life. Okay? I'm so excited. I know that you can do this and I will see you out on the mountain.