The Palsy Podcast - Episode 12 - Samantha Maxwell

Ciaran is joined on episode 12 of The Palsy Podcast by author Samantha Maxwell. Sam talks about her writing career, and the three books that she's had published. Sam also speaks openly about her experiences of mental illness, and how she's begun to overcome this. You can purchase Sam's books via the links below. 

https://wrexhamauthors.co.uk/authors/samantha-maxwell 

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Palsy Podcast with me, Kieran Fitzgerald. I'm a playwright, screenwriter and podcaster from South Wales. And seeing as March is Cerebopalsy Awareness Month to market, I've decided to interview interesting people who have cerebalsy from Wales and beyond every day in March. If you like this episode, please stay tuned for more throughout the month and like and share. Now enjoy this episode of The Palsy Podcast. Hello and welcome to the Palsy Podcast with me, Keenan Fitz Gerald. My guest on this episode is Samantha Maxwell. Hi Sam, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Hello, I'm gonna welcome Keith. Thank you for inviting me onto this podcast.

SPEAKER_05 1:08

Thank you for going on. It's been really great on this podcast so far. Not only to interview people that I've number four, but also to meet new exciting creative people who have CP, so it's great for you beyond thanks for coming on.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Well thank you very much.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

Uh the first question I want to ask you is what I've kicked off all of these. We're in episode 12 now. Um but what was it like growing up with CP?

SPEAKER_01 1:41

It was a mixture of love, resilience, and frustration sometimes. To be honest. I had friends who were saying old friends who were not the same old as well. The difference between see the two of them all three ones significantly challenging to be honest. Because people with friends and without a disability could walk and communicate effortlessly.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Well whereas my friends with a disability could not you know.

SPEAKER_05 3:02

And and did you find that frustrating?

SPEAKER_01 3:06

I did. I did. I often used to say to my mum, I wish uh I could walk. Because then I could be like everybody else.

SPEAKER_05 3:25

What was what was school like for you? Like, did you enjoy school? What were you good at?

SPEAKER_01 3:32

I did I I was good at English. Hence the books. Um I was well, I enjoyed. I I'm not saying that as good as that's fun. In drugs. Um but then it was kind of challenging socially as well. Especially in high school. That's when I saw the difference in school.

SPEAKER_05 4:19

Did you have a supportive group of friends in school?

SPEAKER_01 4:24

I did in in Thompson Junior School.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

But then I went to a different high school.

SPEAKER_04 4:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Um only since the fact that I had a disability. I was segregated, bullied, um, manipulated on everything. Elliot in high school, so yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:02

And how did you kind of cope with that? What was your process for dealing with that?

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Well, my family really. You know.

SPEAKER_04 5:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Um I don't think all the people would have been able to get everything on all succeeds. That's what I thought. Without you know, my uh family.

SPEAKER_05 5:45

Was it at school that you started writing as well? Was that where you discovered your love of writing?

SPEAKER_01 5:52

What my dad always said to me like I'd my English teacher said sort of the thing. When I started painting, it was um my sister in law. She asked me to write a book.

unknown 6:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

She's an English teacher herself.

SPEAKER_04 6:28

Yeah, alright.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

On um self-proposing. So I did that. The response that I had some math spur me on to write a book for myself.

SPEAKER_05 6:44

So it you didn't think from a young age that you wanted to be an artist. You didn't think that that could be a career for you.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

No, I I mean everybody said that I could. Yeah, I wanted to. But I didn't really want to do that.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

I wanted to be designer.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

And I and I went to and I went to university and I've got a green graphic design books.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

Um so what was your experience at university like? Did you enjoy it? What was it like in terms of your independence and and things like that?

SPEAKER_02 7:33

It was amazing. I mean, I I did actually I went to college before I went to university.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

And the shift in dynamic withon high school to college and then to university was positive. You know, I I was more accepted. Um I was included and I had the space to go. Um be when I wanted to be like without the success.

SPEAKER_05 8:23

And uh and I bet that was a freeing feeling you felt, oh you can be your own person for the first time, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Oh it was. I found myself again. Than where I was in primary school. I found that same person. Yeah, it's later in higher education. Yeah, it was the reason.

SPEAKER_05 8:57

And did you get a good level of support and how was that support different in school than it was in college and university?

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Well, it was it it made this treaty like I was disabled. Really? Um I had no other being disabled. In college university, they embraced me for me. They didn't see the disability or the wheelchair. It just saw me as who I wants, which was amazing. Gave me a sense of well that need to make the confidence I needed at that time to succeed in college and university. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:17

See, you wrote your first book in 2021. Can you talk a little bit about what that is about and how you came to write books?

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Well, it's about me really, my life living with telegraphy and the um discrimination I faced from society because of my disability. And like I said, my sister-in-law asked me to write a loss for us during the pandemic. I'm doing response. Not with you.

SPEAKER_05 11:09

Just take a chance and write my own story about everything that was going on in my life and just having people needed to change their perceptions really of normally me, but this gonna be in a little Was it a a good cathartic experience to go back and and and re-look at that to write about that, or was it difficult in places to revisit some maybe of the more traumatic things that you experienced?

SPEAKER_02 12:02

They both, to be honest, it was um cathartic.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Because I did suffer some severe mental health issues before I uh started writing. So to go back and relearn everything, it did well to that season. But it was that it is now I do have opportunities like this to actually speak and um laze awareness of things like this, so yeah, it it was a different turning point in my life for sure.

SPEAKER_05 13:10

What kind of a what kind of a response did you get to that first book?

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Amazing, I I didn't know how it would go. Whether people would accept it. But once it was public I had about twenty hubbies word or mouth that were positive to say how much my God helped then.

SPEAKER_05 13:57

I and did you self-publish it or did you go to a publishing house? What was the process with that?

SPEAKER_01 14:06

I well, literally I went to Big Lutheran house and they accepted this straight away. But then I trolled school more locally.

SPEAKER_04 14:23

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Independent. And my publisher, Arwen, he's been amazing. All of us. You know, I mean he's really helped me to find my voice and sustain it. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:54

What what is what is that relationship like with you and your publisher? Like how do you support each other and how much has he helped you to write the book that you want to write?

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Well, he's let me like the way on everything that I've wanted to write, and he's never stopped me from expressing what I wanted to what I wanted to say, to be honest. He's he comes me to events and helps me to um his speeches and things and I think it's more of a centric almost developed because I'm comfortable with him and he knows me. He knows my story. So I'm more comfortable for him to oh cannot take a link. Um enhance my story really.

SPEAKER_05 16:29

That's it. That sounds like a really important relationship for you as a writer in your development, which would have led into your next book, disabling ableism. So what did you want to do in that second book? Um difference of first, what did you want to write about in that second book?

SPEAKER_02 16:50

I really want to team up on two in society and ask them why they feel society is treated as if this thing from joining the rest of the world to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

You know, I want to answer the question of why that was so important to s well to people in society and ask them why why do they feel like disability is insignificant or what could they do to change really self into their own perspectives? Make them really look at themselves and hopefully change their mindset. Hopefully.

SPEAKER_05 18:19

Uh and what do you think can be done to improve people's perception of disability, maybe, or like improve people's awareness of disability?

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Um, I've always said education. Education in schools, education in the workplace, education in governments, just everywhere that we need to be aware of all disability.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Education is key. And it should not be left be led by people like ourselves.

SPEAKER_05 19:06

Because we know we have the experience that we think that lived experience is really important because if you haven't maybe met someone with CP before, you might have a picture of what that looks like in your head. And for me the biggest thing that's come out of doing these podcasts is that everyone with CP is affected differently. It's a different life experience of being through different things. Like if you met one person with CP, you've met one person with CP. So I think it's important that people don't feel scared to talk about it, don't feel scared to say the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Well that's it because that's where the talk isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 20:02

And we need to do about um disability, solar poison and else. Everything that surrounds disability. We need more openness and exposure. Okay, but that's the only way that able is more data. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 20:40

And you you mentioned mental health there, you've spoken and written about your own struggles with mental health and like only share what you're comfortable sharing. But like what kind of mental health support did you receive? And how do you think that can be improved for people with cell pausing?

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Well I didn't really have because I thought it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

I mean it was an accumulation of everything that I went to until 2020.

SPEAKER_04 21:29

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

All the discrimination, all the thing, and I think go to him, but that didn't really it was successful to say that.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Um, because they didn't really understand why I was coming from they didn't really understand. My mental health seemed to be done have disability. So it's so literally it was the um the review that I was doing. Bye. This is coming off.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Help me. Help me through and now more confident, more um appreciative of life again. Let's be honest.

SPEAKER_04 22:59

That's really good to hear.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Um education I'd say because people need to understand a matter where they are, what job they're in. They need to understand disability and like I say it it only comes from people with lived experience that can deliver that education and show that we are people our lives matter for mental health matters. You know.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

I hope through this podcast in a small way the people will begin to listen a bit more to people on TP and take our voice to serious. They like we've got a diverse range of people on this podcast so far, and everyone is different. Everyone's gonna bring their own experiences to it.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

Well, this is the thing, and things like your podcast will bring more awareness and hopefully understanding.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

So that's why ableism can hopefully be eradicated.

SPEAKER_04 24:54

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

That is the well that's the hope. Whether it can be truly eradicated, is it sorely boss? That's the aim, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 25:13

Absolutely. And we're talking about giving disabled people a voice, and you've written in your latest book, Silence. Silenced rather about how disabled people are often silenced within society. So where did where did that idea come from and what what what we learned through writing back, I guess?

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Well, again, back in some questions, it means really how people often see me as being on intelligent and talking to the person with me. You know, and how that affected um everything in my life. And I wanted to write a book solely dedicated to that um experience and try to make people more aware that people with disabilities do have mental health struggles. Like ethnic society, you know, mental health doesn't disabilities. You know, it's uh yeah. And well doesn't discriminate. But then people in the society who have mental health issues themselves love us and just gonna need us for being different or disabled, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:33

And you spoke there about people like speaking to the person that's with you as opposed to speaking to you. That's something that I've experienced, I suppose, and something that a lot of people who are disabled of Gossip have experienced. Yeah, and it can be really frustrating, and it takes a lot of energy, doesn't it? Trying to prove and that can affect your own mental health and your own sense of you know, how am I being perceived by other people?

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Yeah, it it it's timing in in a way to try and persuade people that you're good enough to um take a job and to have meditation to live your life, to be honest, and these times where I've been rejected from a job because my disability is well laughable to be honest. My disability doesn't impact my intelligence just because I can't work more. I can't do the job as the next person without a disability. This means that I will need some extra um things in place.

SPEAKER_05 29:24

I think it's about workplaces feeling comfortable to put those things in place and opening up this conversation with disabled people to make sure their news are met in the way that they should be.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Well that's uh you know, it's to be honest, we not even all want to some people with disabilities help.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

It's having that it's having that um option available to us.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

It's thing and just to deny us some uh everyday part of life just because of something that we can't control is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 30:16

I agree completely.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Yeah, it's yeah, it's something that I've found and it did take a toll on me mentally, but I've learned to turn that into a positive and try and help others in the using situation that I was about six years ago.

SPEAKER_05 30:52

So yeah. Have you been able to help people? Have you been able to connect with other people going through similar things to you?

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Yeah, I I've had um lots of positive feedback saying that how my books have how well how my exposure of disability has helped them to um and to not visit but to actually um live with their own disability more comfortably.

SPEAKER_05 31:45

I and what are your plans for future writing? Are there books that you want to write, things that you want to write about in the future?

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Well I'm currently in the middle of writing a children's book about disability awareness, and my nephew Tommy is the protagonist of the book, which is very happy with us.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

And my niece Rosie is the illustrator. Oh wow. Yeah, so and that I'm hoping it's gonna be coming out in the next two years. Um yes, it's a lot and I'm still practicing, I'm still um busy writing and it's weird because I've got my family in law.

SPEAKER_05 32:56

You know, and it's And have they been supportive with what you want to do in terms of writing?

SPEAKER_01 33:05

Oh most definitely, most definitely they've absolutely they've um been coming up with APS Oh god news only keep sending me little illustrations and asking to make so it's yes I don't think without my family support support to my publisher or anyone else is either read the book or um my books or um to call to me. I wanna be here today exactly talking to me.

SPEAKER_05 34:02

Well it's been it's been really lovely to find more about you and more about your writing and how well supported how well supported you've been in your journey. My last question for you, Sam, is what is one thing that you wish people knew about CP?

SPEAKER_01 34:25

We are capable that we have our own opinions that we can't opinions whether you're non-bit or bit or personalities that matter not our old disabilities more um awareness or more um treated.

SPEAKER_05 35:22

Absolutely, I completely agree with you. Everyone's affected differently, but everyone's a person that deserves to be treated with respect and fairness and equality. And that's what's going through so much with these interviews that we're doing. Thank you so much for your time.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

Well, thank you. Thank you, Kevin. Um thank you for having me on the podcast. It's an amazing thing.

SPEAKER_05 35:52

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 35:54

And hopefully you'll tune in for the rest of the episode that I'm releasing this month. There'll be a new episode that every day so I watch. Um I'm gonna put a link to Sam's uh books uh in the description of this episode so that you can like some of Sam's books and read them and read the one for watching. Um but thank you again, Sam for joining me. It's been fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 36:24

Uh thank you very much, Keith. And uh I hope to see you again soon.

SPEAKER_05 36:29

Please stay in chat. Uh but that's just about it for this episode of the Falsey Podcast. Thank you for Sam again for joining. Uh me, I've been curious, and please stay tuned on our podcast, Spotify, and YouTube, for a new episode of the Palsy Podcast every day throughout March. But for now it's goodbye from me and goodbye from Sam. Goodbye. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Pulsy Podcast with me, Kieran Fitzgerald. I want to thank my guests for joining me and I hope that you'll stay tuned.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Hello, I'm gonna thank you.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Thank you for inviting me onto this podcast. Um frustration sometimes to be honest. Because it was oh my I had friends who were the same old friends, you're not the same old as well. The difference between see the two of them those groups once significantly challenging to be honest because people with with friends and without a disability could walk and communicate effortlessly well whereas with friends with a disability could not you know I did I did I often used to say to my mum I wish I could walk because then I could be like everybody else. Um I think it I I was but I'd see the box. Um I was I in drunk. I I'm not saying that it was what is that's fun. I intrud um but then it was kind of challenging socially as well, especially in high school. That's when I saw the difference in high school. I did in in Thompson Jimmy School. But then I went to a different high school. Um only since the fact that I had a disability. I was segregated, bullied, um manipulated on everything Elliot had in high school, so yeah. Well my family really. You know. Um I don't think I would be able would have been able to yeah, everything on all succeeds. You know my uh family. What my dad always said to me like my English teacher said for the same like it was in the Toby pandemic when I started writing. It was um my sister in law. She asked me to write a book or a review of a book for her class. She's an English teacher myself on um self-producing. So I did that. The response that I had the math spare me on to write a book for myself. No, I I mean everybody said that I got to wanted to. I didn't really want to do that. I wanted to be a designer. And I went to and I went to university and I was a degree in classic design. Um It was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 43:53

I mean, I I did actually I went to college before I went to university.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

The Christian and I'm Equidon High School to college and then the university was positive. You know, I I was more accepted. Um I was included and I had the space to go. Um be where I wanted to be on without the success. So yeah, it was oh it was. I found myself again. In higher education. Yeah, it was liberation. I see this treatment me like I was disabled. Really. Um I have notion of them dis being disabled. In College University they embraced me for me. They didn't see the disability or the real chair. They just saw me as who I was, which was amazing. It gave me a sense of well definitely the youth the confidence I needed at that time to succeed in college and university. So yeah. Yeah. Well, it's about me really, my life living with telegraphy and the um discrimination I faced from society because of my disability. And like I said, my sister-in-law asked me to write a review. Oh God was not the pandemic. Um I'm going to eat response. Not with you. Just need to take a chance. Analyze my own story about everything that was going on in my life and just have people needed to change their perceptions really of normally me. But this will have been a little bit, to be honest, it was um a thing because I did suffer some severe mental health issues before I uh started writing. So to go back and release everything, it did drum some seas. But it was decided because now I do have opportunities like this to actually speak and um lay awareness of things like this. So yeah, it it was a definite turning point in my life for sure. So yeah. I didn't know how it would go. Whether people didn't accept it. But once it was published, I had about twenty bubble's word or mouth that were positive to say how much my God helped then you know I well allegedly I went to big losing. I was certainly accepted it straight away. But then I chose school more locally and independent. And the publisher, Owen, he's been amazing with all of this. You know, I mean he's really helped me to find my voice and sustain it. So yeah. So I'm he's let me live the way on everything that I've wanted to write and he's never stopped me from expressing what I wanted to what I wanted to say to be honest. He's he comes me to events and helps me to um with his speeches and things and I think it's more of a friend trip almost that's developed because I'm comfortable with him and he knows me. He knows my story. So I'm more comfortable for him to oh cannot take something. Um enhance my story really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And ask them why they feel somebody is treated as if there's things from the most than the rest of the world, to be honest. You know, I want to answer the question of why that was so important to well to people in society and ask them why why do they feel like disability is insignificant or what could they do to change really self into their own perspectives really and make them make them really look at themselves and hopefully change their mindset, hopefully. Um, I've always said education, education in schools, education in the workplace, education in governments, just everywhere that would need to be aware of all disability. Education is key and it should be led be led by people like ourselves because we know we have the experience of me. About um disability, solar pulsing, and else. Everything that surrounds disability. We need more openness and exposure. Okay, but that's the only way that able is mental. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well I didn't really have because I thought the late seven before we I mean it was an accumulation of everything that I've been talking about until 2020. All the discrimination, all the thing, and I didn't look in the math. To say that. Yeah. Um, because they didn't really understand why I was coming from they didn't really've sons how my mental health seems to be that they didn't have a disability. So it's like so literally it was the um