The Bougie Expats
Welcome to The Bougie Expat Podcast, a show for Black women over 40 who are ready to imagine a different kind of life abroad.
Hosted by Sable, your bougie girlfriend, this podcast speaks to the woman who has spent years showing up for everyone else — family, friends, work, and responsibilities — and is now asking, “What do I want my next season to look like?”
Through honest conversations and lived experience, Sable shares what it really takes to relocate abroad with clarity, confidence, and intention. Having lived and worked in more than seven countries across four continents, she brings real insight into the emotional, financial, and practical side of building a life overseas.
Each episode will cover topics like relocating abroad, planning your money, managing fear, leaving behind familiar routines, building a clear vision, and creating a life where you are thriving instead of simply getting by.
If you have been quietly thinking about moving abroad, starting fresh, or choosing yourself in this next chapter, this podcast is for you.
Subscribe to The Bougie Expat Podcast and join Sable for conversations about freedom, relocation, reinvention, and living abroad with purpose.
The Bougie Expats
Ep 25: I Started Over After 60—Here’s What Nobody Tells You About Reinvention
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What happens when the life you worked so hard to build no longer feels like the life you actually want? For many Black women over 40, 50, and 60, reinvention doesn’t begin with a dramatic crisis or sudden breakdown. Often, it begins with a quiet, persistent question: "Is this really how I want to spend the next 20 or 30 years of my life?"
In this episode of The Bougie Expats, Sable explores what it truly takes to start over later in life and why moving overseas is so much more than a geographical move. Relocation is simply the vehicle—reinvention is the ultimate transformation.
Because moving abroad isn’t only about choosing a country.
It’s about designing a life.
In this conversation, we explore:
✨ What happens when the life that used to fit doesn’t fit anymore
✨ Why asking “What do I want?” can change everything after 40
✨ Choosing freedom over other people’s expectations
✨ Learning how to become a beginner again
✨ Building community when you relocate abroad
✨ Creating cashflow around the life you actually want
✨ Becoming a version of yourself you haven’t met yet
You don’t have to hate your current life to want something different.
You can be grateful for the chapter you’ve lived—and still decide you’re ready for another one.
And you don’t have to know exactly who you’re becoming before you begin.
Sometimes you just have to be willing to meet her.
Ready to see where you stand?
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Whatever makes your bougie life wonderful for you, that's what you need to do. You're building a beautiful life. You're building a life that makes sense for you. She's done waiting. She's done shrinking. And she's done building empires in rooms that were never designed for her. This is the Bougie Expat, the podcast for black women over 40 who are ready to reinvent their lives, rebuild their income, and relocate with intention. If you're done settling in corporate, tired of environments that no longer feel aligned, or quietly planning your next move, you are in the right place. Hosted by Stable, live from Panama City, Panama. Seven countries, four continents, one move she made in five months flat. Income strategies, exit plans, a life designed to actually fit you without starting over broke. Let's get into it. One of you don't actually hate your life right now. You may say it's pretty nice. But you also know you're kind of done with it. You've outgrown it, you've outgrown the friends, you've outgrown some of the places you've been going. There's something different about the feel of what's happening for you every day. And you really can't even put your finger on it. And I think a lot of black women over 40 are sitting in the same place like you. I mean, we've built this beautiful career, we've taken care of everybody, we now got the house. They do look at everything from the outside. I call it like our Facebook life. It looks amazing, right? Got the house, got the car, got the job, right? Got the account to spend from, got the platinum card. But is this really how you want to spend the next 20 to 30 years of your life? And that is something you have to think about when you're moving abroad. What I've learned is relocation, yeah, you're moving to another country, but relocation is really the vehicle that you're gonna use to reinvent yourself, to give you the life that perhaps you've always been looking for. And to do that though, you gotta be confident in who you are. You gotta be confident in where you're going, you gotta be clear on where you're going, and you gotta have a cash flow. That is so important. So today I want to give you seven things that I want you to think about. Seven things that are signs that you are ready to reinvent yourself. You don't want to take the same old you over to somewhere else. So I want to give you seven things that you want to think about. And it'd be seven things, wait for the last one. Because this is about are you ready to meet the woman who you are becoming. Sign number one, if you are ready to reinvent yourself in your relocation, not just take the same you, the same attitude, the same lifestyle, the same eating habits, whatever, whatever, right? Number one, the life that you used to fit doesn't fit anymore. And be honest with yourself because you know you have that kind of uncomfortable feeling doing the thing that was your favorite thing, and all of a sudden it's not your favorite thing anymore. All of a sudden it's not as exciting as it was. Going there, the person you used to hang out and have that conversation with, that's not as exciting as it used to be. Your job that you absolutely love is not so exciting. So things have changed, right? It you don't feel the same the way it used to be. And yes, you have the life that you know your ancestors dreamed of, but yet it doesn't somehow fit you anymore. Your routine doesn't seem so comfortable anymore. And so instead of just kind of like forcing yourself to be in that life, I want you to start thinking about what else? What else? I know you're grateful for what you've done. You're even proud, and you should be. But what could your next chapter look like? How different could that be? And sometimes you just need a little more clarity to say this version of me has served me well, and that also takes confidence and honesty and a little vulnerability to say this version of my life has saved served me well, but now I'm ready for something new. I'm ready to see what else is out there for me and who else I could become. That's sign number one. Sign number two says, Are you starting to ask yourself, what do I really want? Do you feel like some days, you know, you're just there? Like blah. I don't know. Sometimes, like, I have that feeling. I'm like, I'm just here, I'm just existing, blah blah blah blah. It doesn't really have like excitement, and you're asking, like, what do you really, really want, right? Like, what do you really want to see happen in your life? Not like, what do my children need? What does my job need? What does everybody else put? What do I want for myself? Because we've been serving everybody else. Not what does my family expect, but what do you want for yourself? You know, um, I think so many times for us in society, this little voice is always sitting on our shoulder, talking to us. And it's so hard to really say what we want when everybody else has been telling us what we should be, what we should want, how we should act. And all of a sudden we're thinking, I don't want to do that, but what do I really want? And if you're saying that, that's a sign. That's your sign, girlfriend, that you may be ready to reinvent yourself. That maybe being the strong, dependable one, you're done with that. And now you want to do something else that's gonna make you happy. I don't know what it is, and you don't even have to know what it is, you just have to be willing to lean into it, to give yourself an opportunity to open yourself up to something totally different, something you you don't even know about or not even imagine. So many times we think we have to know what it is before we can move on it. Absolutely not. I believe in motion, life can develop for us as we're moving in motion. But if you want this whole plan to be laid out before you, it may not happen that way. It's the fact that you took action on the fact of going after what you want, it's the fact that you said to yourself, I'm not satisfied with this life the way it is, I want something more. As you are moving towards something different, as you're giving yourself and open yourself up to something more, then you can experience that elevated life. But if you're kind of like, I need to know everything step by step before I move, you may be still there. You may be still right there, wanting something different, not taking the action to get to something different. And I just want you to think about for those of you who are my biblical scholars, just think about Abraham, right? When he left, he didn't know where he was going. So many people that we know had to step out on faith. Are you willing to do that? To be someone different, to have something else, because you know you want something. Sign number three: freedom has become more important to you than impressing people. I'm gonna say that again for the people in the back. Freedom has been more important than impressing all the people around you and what they think and what they say and how they feel about it and what they say about it. That is no longer important. Your freedom is more important now. Your title, your salary, that house, and girlfriend, I am one to tell you I don't think I was living in my house three years. Brand new house that we have built, over 5,000 square feet, beautiful home. But I was done. D-O-N-E, done, and I didn't care what people said about like, I know you're not leaving, you just moved here, you just furnished this place because totally all brand new furniture. But you know what? I was done with that life, and I was okay with it, and I was okay with everybody thinking it wasn't a smart idea, and I was okay with people asking me, like, I cannot believe you're gonna try to move somewhere and you've never even been there before. I was okay with that. Are you okay with that? Because your freedom is something that you are craving, right? So when we think about relocation, what they show us all on social media, what we see, we see all the photos, but what they don't see is the thing that we crave the most: freedom. Freedom over our time, freedom over what we eat, freedom to travel or not to travel, freedom to sleep late or not to sleep at all, or stay up all night, freedom to decide that on Tuesday I want to act like it's a Saturday, or to change my mind and tell somebody I was gonna do something, I'm not doing it anymore. That is the freedom that we want, and we don't talk about it. So I want to say, are you saying that to yourself? That's what you want, because that's where reinventure kind of gets uncomfortable. Because we keep hearing everybody, no, you don't do that. No, that's not allowed. No, why would you do that at this stage of your life? Are you willing to say, you know, mind your business, not talking to you, right? You know, I was thinking about it today. I had so many stops that I was doing, and one of, you know, a couple of stops, I walked. I walked from one place to the next. And I was saying to myself, oh my gosh, I remember, I mean, like, I didn't walk anywhere before. I was like in my little big ol' SUV, right? Going everywhere. Are you willing to live differently and not care what anyone else thinks? I don't care. People see me walking, I love to walk. And now I can, because I don't even have a car. Are you willing to do that? What are you willing to give it up for the life that you really want? And you may say, well, I don't know what I want to give up, but think about it. Because your values made of change, and this could be true, right? And not values in terms of your integrity, your character, but about what's important to you has changed, right? The the money is not as important, right? Where before we were like, you know, we had to have lavish luxury life, and now you're like, I just want a simple life. Perhaps before, you know, the labels in your car, car, the labels in your clothes, the where you sat on the airplane was really important for you, you're Brazilian, all the things, right? That may not be as important to you anymore. And that's gonna take confidence of making sure that you hear your own voice and you act on that and not what other people are saying that you should be doing at this state. And if that is you, that's a sign. That is a sign that when you move, you are ready to be someone different. Sign number four, you're about to be a beginner again. You are ready to sit in the student chair because, girlfriend, I am telling you, moving to another country will humble you in ways that you don't even think about. Oh, yes, because you're learning all over again. Things that you thought you knew, things that you thought you had figured out you understood. Oh my gosh, you will realize you didn't. I remember when I was living in Nigeria, I wrote, it took me, I don't know, months just to learn how to write a check. Learn how to write a check. Of course I knew how to write a check. I used to be a bank teller, so I always think I knew how to write a check. Didn't know how to write one in that country. I would write check after check after check, and they will return, they would be denied, all because I didn't understand your system. So we have to be a student ready to relearn very basic things. I'm not even talking about language, that's a whole nother thing. But I'm just talking about basic things sometimes we have to learn. And if you're ready for that, you're probably ready to reinvent yourself because you're open to see new things, open to absorb new things as you move somewhere different. So you're gonna have to learn all new things, and it's okay. It is okay because if you're saying bring it on, that means that you probably are ready to reinvent your life in your relocation. You are ready to do something different. I mean, today I went to make an appointment. Oh my gosh, it was a hot mess. You know, we were communicating back and forth, me and my little doolingual Spanish, and and just realizing that, oh my gosh, I came all the way here to make a doctor's appointment when I could have just done it on my phone. I couldn't do it on WhatsApp. Are you used to making doctor's appointments on WhatsApp? Conducting business on WhatsApp? I'm not, but I am learning. That is how they conduct business here, and so that is something about learning a different way. It's not about what a better way or what we used to do. It's about this is where you're going to be, and you learn the way they're doing it. That is a sign. If you're saying, hey, I'm willing to unlearn and learn again, I'm willing to explore new things, that may be your sign. That may be your sign that you are ready. And if you really want to know if you're ready, I'm gonna drop in the chat a link to take our bougie readiness assessment test. Will help you determine where you are in your readiness. It will help you to determine what stage are you ready in your relocation. You don't have to kind of guess it or try to think about it. I'm gonna give you the answer to it right there. So let's talk about number five. Are you ready to build new community? Because I know you've been visiting, you've been going, you've been seeing everybody. You probably made a couple of friends that you kind of talk back and forth. But when you land, you're gonna have to build a whole new community. And some of those people may be with you, but you may have to get all new people. And I know sometimes it can absolutely get lonely. But remember this: you're out there to explore. Don't let moments of loneliness deter you. Realize that you are ready to go and explore and meet new people, you know, your favorite people. You always did your little, I don't know, Sunday brunch with thing, may not be around anymore, but who is around now that you can start building new relationships with? Who can you now get new besties with? Because now you're in a new place. Who could you go to new events with? When I go out the door, I invite so many people. I invite almost everybody I know who is willing to come out. Not only just for my sake, but also so they can meet new people, so they can begin new relationships. Someone called me last night and they were like, hey, you want to um meet up in this particular restaurant that I love? It's my absolute favorite place to go. And I was like, Yeah, how many people you're bringing? And they said, six. I said, that requires a reservation. I'll do that. He was like, for how many? I don't know. Well, that group of six turned into a group of 12. Why? Because I invited six more people. Actually, I invited eight more people to join us, and six of them said yes. And you know what? We had an amazing time. Did I talk to all six? Absolutely not. But what I wanted to do was help them build community, and that's what it takes. One of them was like, I don't think I'm coming, girlfriend, because I'm already in my jammies, I'm not coming out. But she did, and she was so happy she did. And I want her to come out. She's only been here three months. She was able to meet new people and build new community. So sometimes those jammies are gonna have to come off when you're in, when you're the least convenient, so you can meet new people. Sometimes you're gonna have to go eat in restaurants that you normally would not want to eat in, just so you can meet new people. Think about every outing as another time to build connection. The activity, the food, the restaurant, the place-that's not as relevant as the fact that you're building community, and this is what's gonna help you build community. Trust yourself to be able to make genuine connections and trust yourself to know that sometimes that it may not be a good time, but also give yourself the space and the grace to meet new people and come out and explore. And you may have friends, the kind of friends that you didn't even think you were gonna have. People who you would have never been friends with, now you're bestie, people you didn't even know were around. I mean, just get comfortable with now being intentional about finding your new people. That's a sign. Sign number six is you're willing to build your cash flow around your life, not your life around money. Now, I know for the most part, before we were like hustle, I know, you know, I've always had like a job and something else, a business and something else, right? So we were always on the hustle trying to, you know, side hustle here, little gig there. But now, in this, are you willing to say, you know what? I'm gonna build a cash flow around the life I absolutely want, right? And that's how freedom is. And so you think about like I don't want to be on the you know the struggle bus, and I also don't want to be on the hustle bus anymore. I'm getting off that stop as well. And so now think about how you're a pension, your investment, your multiple streams of income. How does that support the life that you're creating? That's what you want to think about. How you're gonna build your life around the funds that you have. This is not you don't necessarily want to be in overtime, or maybe you do, right? That's up to you. But you also are not trying to build the cheapest life ever. You want the bougie life that you want. Now, I don't know what you call bougie, that is up to you. You get to decide that. You get to decide I want this beautiful apartment and I'm gonna eat Roman noodles in it. I don't know that whatever makes your bougie life wonderful for you, that's what you need to do. You're building a beautiful life, you're building a life that makes sense for you. So if you want restaurants, travel, you want uh outings, you want to be comfortable, you want a four-bedroom apartment when it's just you, go for it. Whatever your version of bougie is, you do that. But what you don't want to do is allow you know your finances to be totally like chaotic around you and control it. This is your time for freedom. This is your time for enjoyment. So you don't want to necessarily be afraid of spending money, and that's why I always tell you make sure you understand what's coming in so you can have the lifestyle that you want, so you can afford the things that you want. Having a steady cash flow does that. If you love this conversation and you want to hear more of it, go ahead and subscribe. I would love to keep talking to you because you know what? There has been more life available to me because the fact that I'm always thinking about how to grow this community. As I think about it, it just causes my own life to expand. So you're an expansion of me. The Bougie Expats is not just about women moving, it's about us moving with confidence, us moving with clarity, and moving with cash flow. We're gonna relocate, absolutely, and we get to reinvent ourselves and have the freedom that you already deserve. So hit that subscribe button, hit that notification, and follow us and become a part of the community. So let me give you number seven, which is our last one. You are ready to meet a version of yourself you've never met before. That I mean, even as I said it, I'm just like, wow. Wow. Who is she? What is she like? What does she like? What does she do on Tuesdays? What does her Saturday look like? Who are her new friends? What are her conversations like? Because you're about to come someone new. But are you ready? Think about that. Are you ready, you know, to leave that woman behind and now become this new woman who woman who controls her own time, her freedom, her finances, and be adventurous and discover who you are. And I'm not talking adventurous because you're doing hikes and climbing mountains, the adventure of exploring who you could be when you just allow yourself to be more who could you be when you can be comfortable of being you and not listening to what everybody else says. Who could you be? I don't know. Is it a business owner? Um, maybe you'll fall in love again, maybe you'll travel the world, maybe you'll discover things that you didn't even know existed. Maybe you'll allow yourself to do something that you were always afraid of. I don't know how you will define yourself, but it's a very beautiful thing that you have this time to really invest. Yourself to someone who you always wanted to be. You don't completely have to know who she is, but she's waiting to be explored. She's waiting to be unveiled. And so, are you ready to meet someone that you've never met before? I keep coming back to that because I just think it's so powerful that we could actually become someone new. I think about every time I moved, I learned so much from that country, that culture, those people. I was a different person by the time I left. And each time I get to grow and explore to be someone else. My birthday's in a couple of weeks. I can't wait to see what this next version of me is going to look like. I don't know what she's going to look like. And it's not that I'm going to pretend to be someone different. I'm just allowing myself to unveil and explore and be something perhaps that I would have not ever given myself permission of because I had too many responsibilities before. Because I was too busy trying to hold it down. I don't have to do that anymore. I have the freedom to be who I want to be. And so when you think about your relocation, that is your vehicle that you're using to reinvent yourself into a life that I don't want to just say you desire, you deserve, but that it's something that really empowers you to beyond just what society has given you. So this reinvention is not about the country. So I don't want you to think, oh, this country is going to do it. No, Portugal, Mexico, Ghana, Costa Rica, wherever you think you're going is not going to reinvent you. Panama did not reinvent me. You get to do that work. You get to actually become someone different. So it's not about what is the uh the best country for every. The question is: what country is gonna allow me to live my best life? Where can I move to that's gonna help me create the next version of me? The woman I've never met before. Because if you have tapped into those signs, you're ready. I'm gonna go through them really quick. Number one, the life that you used to live, you don't fit that anymore. Number two, you're asking yourself, what do I want? Number three, freedom is more important than what everybody else got to say. And number four, you're willing to be gay a beginner again, a student and learn over. Number five, you're ready to build something more intentional in your life, a community, a very new community. You're willing to also build a cash flow around the life that you want. And number seven, you are so ready to meet a version of you that you've never met before. So I don't know how many of those actually ring for you. Maybe it's all, maybe it's just a few. Tell me in a comment. I would love to hear from you what actually makes sense for you. I'm Sable, your bougie girlfriend. Continue to live an elevated life. That's a wrap. And if this episode resonated with you, go ahead and follow the podcast and share it with another woman who's ready for her next chapter. And if you're ready to move beyond thinking and start building your exit strategy, I invite you to join me inside my live experience, the Elevated Exit Masterclass. You'll find the link in the show notes. Until next time, make your next move a bougie one.