Nobody's Telling You This — Your Communication Is the Problem

Here's what nobody around you has the guts to say: it's not the market. It's not the timing. It's not bad luck. It's you — and specifically, how badly you communicate your value to the world.

Every day, mediocre people beat you to the job, the deal, the opportunity. Not because they're better. Because they can articulate why they're worth it and you can't. That's it. That's the whole story.

You've been calling it introversion. Calling it humility. Calling it "letting your work speak for itself." None of that is true. You were just never taught how to communicate — and instead of fixing it, you built a personality around the gap.

The world rewards perception over reality. A confident mediocre person beats a nervous excellent one every single time. That is not changing. The only thing that can change is you.

In this episode:

• Why "my work speaks for itself" is a lie you tell yourself
• What bad communication actually looks like in real time
• The self-sabotage patterns you've dressed up as personality traits
• The unfair reality nobody wants to admit out loud
• Why communication isn't a soft skill — it's the one skill that multiplies everything else

If this hit home — follow the podcast so you never miss an episode. Leave a comment with where bad communication has cost you, and share this with someone who needs to hear it.

Want help with your own communication? DM me on Instagram — @kyleguthro

Transcript

Speaker 0:00

Welcome back to the Kyle Guthro show where I share all things systems, selling, and scaling. And what better topic than to dive into why your crappy communication is costing you opportunities? Now, for starters, this isn't to point blame. However, it is to bring to light some of the things that could be causing you to miss opportunities. Now, I know everyone wants to quickly judge or blame political atmospheres or other things that are out of their control, but what if, just maybe, that you stopped and analyzed the communication that you were saying to others before you start blaming external environments, such as that's just the market? Well, that political person said this, or the reason why I didn't get that job is because of that. Sit with this for a moment. Have you ever did an analysis on your communication? Have you ever checked in with yourself and wondered, hmm, maybe it's the way I saw myself. Maybe it's my communication style. Maybe it's the way I say things. Could I be offending people? Could I not be getting the right message across? Could I be delivering it in such a way that I've turned the audience off because I'm boring? Now, I know these are tough conversations to have with yourself. Maybe you can lean onto someone that you trust their opinion wholeheartedly to ask for their opinion. Now, before you start running to family members and friends, lean on somebody that actually is versed in the space. Hell, you can even reach out to me, and I can give you a deep dive, critiqued analysis of your communication style. So let's dive into it. Because there are so many misses out there. Well, let's start with one. My work will speak for itself. Now, it doesn't. Unfortunately, you have to do the speaking. And yes, results are backed by proven work. I get that. But if nobody is sharing the result, then you might have no, might as well not even have done it. Now, I know that one's hard. And of course you should have done it because there's obviously more things to just recognition and acclamation from those that you seek. But here's the thing: you are the only person that's going to be able to sell yourself. Whether you're jumping into a job interview, vowing for that next job, or just even trying to sell your services. It is the responsibility of you. Stop blaming external environments, politics, your work environment, um, what's happening in the market. None of that matters because there's so many people out there with way less mediocre mediocre skills than you crushing it, killing it online, killing it in their businesses because they know how to sell themselves. So, what does bad communication actually look like? Starters, rambling under pressure. It's not getting your point across, it's not being clear, not being concise, not getting to the damn point. If you're in an interview or if you're trying to meet with somebody for the first time, or you're trying to sell your services to an angel investor or whoever, figure out who that audience member is. Because that is so critically important. Obviously, you need to be prepared, but most importantly, what are some of the things or the attributes that you've done that you could sell yourself to that specific person? Because it doesn't mean you just sell and spray and pray that it lands on everybody. Actually, figure out a result that resonates with that specific person or audience. The next one, this one's a big one. Self-sabotage patterns. You see this time and time again. People are about to go give an absolute mesmerizing interview or uh speak from stage or deliver to their colleagues, and they come out with this thing. I'm really sorry, but I wish I was more prepared, but I don't know how good this will be. You set these preconceived notions unnecessarily. You're painting the picture before you even said a single word. You need to stop doing that. Stop self-sabotaging yourself. It's bad enough that the world is already trying to go against you when it comes to doing your business. Why are you making it harder? And instead, own the mic, own the room. You belong there. Your content that you're able to deliver, the information you're about to share, the um accolades that you're gonna present to somebody, you deserve it. Stop dimming your light. Instead, shine a spotlight, but do it cautiously. Nobody likes people that are conceited or cocky. The real stakes. I want you to sit with this one for a moment. What is the real result of this opportunity if you don't dial in your communication? You don't dial in your sales pitch. Think about that for a moment. You've prepared countless hours, days, weeks for this opportunity, and you're gonna let it slip because of poor communication. So many people focus on delivering the absolute stellar presentation, but they don't work on the delivery of the presentation. And then your audience is left less left listening to a lackluster presentation or a boring or dry topic, when in fact it didn't need to be that. So so many people work on perfecting the presentation, the colors, the pictures, the visuals, the words, but they fail to work on the delivery. So these are some missed opportunities. Now, I'm gonna dive into AI in one of the upcoming uh podcast episodes because I think it's critically important. And I want to share this one with all of you, just as a little bit of a teaser. We're relying so much on AI, and I got nothing against AI, I love AI, but we're relying on it so much to craft up our presentations, our um documents, our uh resumes. But then what happens when you go to deliver it, or you go to share it, or you're stuck in an interview? You need to speak to this content. And if you're not versed in it, because we all agree AI is extremely smart and it's using words that you might not be familiar with, well, you're lost, you're done, the opportunity is missed. And instead, equipped yourself with the skill set to speak to it. See, AI is like a tool, it's like a hammer. And if you have a nail, well, without the hammer, you can't use the nail. AI, communication, sales, systems, they all blend together. And this is what I really want to gain for all of you as my audience members. It goes beyond just what you say, it goes beyond just what you what you're selling, and it goes beyond just the systems of being able to connect with people. But most importantly, how are you leaving your audience, your colleagues, your spouse, your kids? How are you leaving a lasting impact on them? So you are, I'll give you an example. We're back in the interview room. What is the impression that you want to leave for the interviewer? How can you help serve this new company that you're being interviewed for? Speak on the results, but share anecdotes and stories to ground that point so that the interviewer can visualize what you're trying to say. And you don't need to go and rhyme off all the technical things that you've done. Depending on the job, obviously don't come at me because obviously you do need some technical skills when it comes to certain applicants. But I'm just saying in everyday sense, because the opportunities are endless, whether you're trying to converse with someone in the street, having a conversation with the barista at your favorite coffee shop, or just even trying to communicate with your kids. Figure out your style. Be true to yourself with that style. Now you can venture off. You're more than welcome to uh role-play different scenarios. And what do I mean by that? Well, we all have different communication styles. We obviously speak to our family members, our friends differently than when we would speak to a colleague or person or potentially a person that you've just met for the first time. We tend to have this facade on when we're trying to impress people that don't know us. When in fact, I always just tell people, just be authentically you. And obviously, you need to kind of keep it within some goalposts or some parameters, but most importantly, people will sniff that bullshit out if you are being something that it's not true authentically to you. So try these things when it comes to your next interview, your next um pitch, your next meeting in front of colleagues. Break down these things. Start with obviously a story. Stories work exceptionally well when you're trying to drive a point across. Build the rapport with the people that are in the room or the one-on-one or the audience members. Now, obviously, you do not have time to go and sit there and explain your life story. But if you can summarize it in maybe 60 seconds or less, or 90 seconds or less on why you got here, why you'd love this opportunity, why you're having this conversation, perfect. Builds the rapport. Secondly, you can lean on an anecdote of a result that you've done. Now, similar to storytelling, an anecdote works so perfectly because then you can mesh the two opportunities together. Here's an example of when I was faced with this example, faced with this situation of a problem. And here's how I was able to fix it or solve it, the result. And this is why I think I'd be a great fit for your company. Because I heard through um your latest post that you guys shared online that you were struggling with sales or just whatever the commonality was. Obviously, don't point out negative things, but maybe highlight a problem that they are currently experiencing, how you could potentially fix it. And then obviously, if the opportunity presents itself, ask questions. Let the other person you're speaking to have a voice. Because in those opportunities, you can actually listen and then you can continue the conversation. See, if you're just dominating the one side of the conversation, you're not serving. You're actually just portraying what you already know. Now, obviously, in an interview, you don't want to be sitting there asking the interviewer a bunch of questions about their personal life, but you can ask questions about the company, maybe uh what are some good fits or some opportunities, and then think of stories or anecdotes in that moment that you would love to share. But I must warn you, you have to be prepared. So, your homework for this podcast is I want you to think of 10, yes, 10 stories that were ultra successful in your life, whether it be with family members, friend, you helped solve a problem, you got a friend out of debt, whatever the situation was, piece of advice you gave that really landed or connected, have those ready so that when people ask you for these opportunities or these opportunities to speak, you have the stories ready. Now, to take it one step further, I need you to prepare them. Drop it in ChatGPT and ask it to analyze it. Ask it to make it better, but obviously keep true to the story and find a way that you can practice by delivering it in a very concise and clear manner. Because, like I said, nobody has time to listen to the long, drawn-out, winded story of how you were able to do this thing or whatever the problem you solved. Try those two things, send them to me. I want to hear from you because I know so many people suffer in silence when it comes to communication. And I'm here to share, you do not have to lean on me, lean on AI, lean on other resources, but it comes to practice. Have your anecdotes and your stories ready and be prepared to keep practicing. So the next time someone asks you, what do you do? you're ready for that next opportunity. Until next time, I hope you love uh this episode. I would really mean the world to me if you could like, share, subscribe, uh post, repost, and just keep delivering this to as many people as you possibly can. I know that's a big ask, but to be honest, it means the world to me because I know so many people that are struggling with communication and they don't need to. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode of the Kyle Guthro Show.