Sydney Steinberg: Make Your Own Busy

Waiting for Hollywood to “pick you” can rot your brain. So we sit down with our friend Sydney Steinberg writer, actor, comedian, and unapologetic maker and talk about what actually happens when you try to build a real career in TV and film without a linear path or a safety net. Sydney takes us from growing up in San Diego, using comedy to cope with a dark and lonely stretch, to finding freedom at Syracuse and sprinting into Los Angeles with the kind of hustle that gets you a PA job and a showrunner assistant gig fast. 

We get into the UCB era too the joy of learning improv, the brutal politics of Harold Night, and what burnout looks like when everyone treats comedy like a blood sport. Sydney opens up about sobriety, audition fatigue, getting signed at CAA, and the weird crash that comes when people promise success “any day now.” Then the pandemic hits, she makes work anyway, even tries quitting for fashion, and eventually finds real momentum by doing the simplest thing that’s also the hardest: consistently posting vertical musical impressions and character videos on Instagram (and dealing with the TikTok machine). 

The conversation turns toward horror, SXSW, and the power of sticking with your friends. Sydney shares what it was like premiering Grind at South by Southwest, writing on a Disney show, finally having health insurance from an art job, and learning to manage pitch anxiety with medication when logic isn’t enough. We end with the big question a lot of creatives are asking: do you even need to live in LA anymore, or do you just need to keep making your own stuff wherever you are? Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs momentum, and leave a review if you want more honest career talk.

Transcript

Welcome And Big Career Questions

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everyone, how's it going? My name is Nate Kaywin. I'm a Los Angeles-based cinematographer, and this is Film Shit, a podcast where I sit down with a working professional in the TV and film industry. I ask them, where did they come from? What exactly it is that they do, and what's the future of the industry? Today I'm incredibly excited to have a very dear friend of mine, a writer, an actor, a director?

SPEAKER_03 0:21

No.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Not a director. We're gonna here, we'll start that again.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

But that was funny.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

A writer. Not a director. A writer. An actor. A content creator?

SPEAKER_03 0:34

I guess.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

A visionary.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

A comedian.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Yeah. Sydney Steinberg, how are you? I'm good. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Oh my gosh, I'm so grateful that you're here. This is incredible.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

I know.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Um, first off, how are you?

SPEAKER_03 0:48

I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

Yeah, I'm busy. Are you busy? It's just yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Busy.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

It's a time for being busy. I feel like that's where we're at in the industry. Is everyone's busy?

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Well, yeah, you have to be.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Yeah, if you're not busy, are you even a person?

SPEAKER_03 1:05

Well, like you gotta, well, I mean you gotta make your own busy.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Yeah. Yes. We will we're gonna talk about making our own busy. But let's really quickly, what is the genesis of Sid Steinberg?

Comedy Roots And A Lonely Childhood

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Where are you from?

SPEAKER_03 1:16

San Diego.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Okay, and were you like a comedic talent from birth? Yeah. Really? So did you know like you were gonna just be a comedian from the very beginning?

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Yeah. Really? Yeah, there's like videos of me at like eight years old at like family parties going, see these squiggly things, they're my bones. They're my bones. And I would like do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Right. So you were like a pirate comedian?

SPEAKER_03 1:40

I was just doing characters.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

And they would like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

So and so from a very early age, you were like, that's destiny. What what did that look like though in your mind? Like when you were like young and you were like, I'm gonna be a performer slash comedian slash funny, there me bones.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

There me bones. I mean, I think I always was like, I want to be on SNL.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

And then that once I became like older, I was like, oh, that's not the only thing you can do. Right. Because I had all those DVDs and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

And then once I realized there's more.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

You were like, maybe I don't want that um, yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. Okay, so you're a child growing up in San Diego. How was childhood?

SPEAKER_03 2:19

Um, not my fave.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Okay, do you want to talk about it?

SPEAKER_03 2:22

Uh, I mean, I guess if it's like helpful to people, just I don't know. It just was you know, I'll just say it was very dark and very lonely. And I do think my way of coping was comedy.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

Because I I, you know, I this is not an easy career path. It's not what I want to want. Right. I'd rather be a doctor because I am smart enough.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:49

Um, I'm smart enough to be a doctor. I believe you. Thank you. I just want everyone to know. Of course. But yeah, so I, you know, coped with comedy, and yeah, that's that, I guess. Okay, that seems reasonable.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

So it was like maybe not the easiest childhood and comedy was a way to escape or cope with whatever things that were happening in and around home.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Yeah. I think that's pretty reasonable.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Okay, so middle school and stuff like that, were you doing plays?

SPEAKER_03 3:17

Um, yeah, I was always doing theater.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Um okay, so you were doing plays in middle school? Like, was it through your school?

SPEAKER_03 3:27

I went, my parents sent me to like theater camp. So I would go do like shows in the summer. Um, and a lot like musical theater and and a play every summer. Or I would like go to the JCC and do them there.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Right.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

And then at school, yeah, I was always in the play at school. Until high s then in high school, I didn't do it at all.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Because it wasn't cool?

SPEAKER_03 3:49

No, I just like was so unhappy in high school that I was like drinking and like not doing shows anymore.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Right. Did you find different ways to be creative or uh in high school?

SPEAKER_03 4:01

I mean, I would just be like the class clown, and then I did I to I took like art classes. So I've always liked, you know, painting and drawing and all that. But really, like high school was like survival. Like, I gotta get out of here. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

So were you uh were you in the yearbook mo uh the class clown written as a class? Yeah, I am the class clown. Were you? Okay. So how big was your high school?

SPEAKER_03 4:27

It was small, I think like a hundred kids per grade. It was like a private Christian school. Oh I know. What? I'm Jewish, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

And you went to a private Christian school.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

Well, yeah, because my parents were like so paranoid about like drugs and violence at school, which is so funny to send your kid then to a private school, like where there's tons of drugs. Right, of course. Like there's drugs where the money is, yeah. Like so stupid, but that they don't think critically like that. Uh right. Um, so yeah, private school. We were the only liberal family. So my sister and I would get in fights with people, like about prop A. Like, we would fight with kids at our high school about gay people being able to get married. Like it was crazy.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Wow. Yeah. That's why I mean San Diego.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

No, San Diego is so Republican. I don't know why my parents even lived there. Like, there's a lot that I go back. I'm like, how did you do this?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yeah, did they go there for work or what?

SPEAKER_03 5:22

I mean, my mom grew grew up there since she was five. So I think that's why she lived there. And then my dad moved there in the 70s when there was just nothing there. Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

When it was probably a beach, like a beach bum town.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

It was like a beach bump town.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

Um, and I think it's just very beautiful. And like if you can put up with the Republicans, but I'm just like, I remember there was like a Mitt Romney fundraiser like at my school. Like, whoa. Yeah. Like no one wanted to vote for Obama. Like it was so funny. Like, what? Why did we go here? But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Wow, interesting. Okay, so I now understand why there might be some context as to why you weren't engaging with the school activities, like being in their plays or any of that sort of stuff.

unknown 6:07

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Okay, so you survived school. Yeah. Reasonably. Yeah. Okay, and then what happened?

College Freedom And The LA Leap

SPEAKER_03 6:13

I went to college. And what was you going to college? I went to Syracuse University.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Oh, you couldn't be any further away in the university.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

I went to the most far far away place you could go. And like the opposite, it was very Jewish. It was like, you know, and what's funny is I did I got really bad grades in high school, like truly, like almost in graduate. And then once I got to college and I was away, I was like magna cum laudi. Like because I was like, oh, I'm I'm finally by myself, I'm free. And I was, I think, succeeding because I was happy.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Yeah.

unknown 6:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Huh. Crazy. How happiness could correlate to like you know, external stuff like that. Okay, so what did you go to college for?

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Uh it was called TV radio film.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Okay, so it's just this this slash this slash this. It's just exactly what I want to do. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's great. Yeah. And did you enjoy Syracuse like as a place? Yeah, I did. I really liked it. In like an institution.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Yeah, I liked all of it.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And do you feel like you gained like a lot of information from like a lot of?

SPEAKER_03 7:20

Well, I wrote two movies while I was in college. They're both bad, but I wrote them like full films.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

That's incredible.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Yeah. Um, I made a lot of short films. You know, I'm I'm my manager and I were went to college together. Like to this day, she's my manager. Um, a guy I work with on like another writer on the show I wrote on is went to Syracuse.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Like, right, so it's like it was like a good networking opportunity of people from Syracuse work.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Yeah, people from Syracuse work is what I've noticed.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

That's great.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

Yeah, fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Okay, incredible. So you graduate Suma cum lade, is that right? Did you say magnum?

SPEAKER_03 7:56

Is it magnum? I don't remember. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Um, guys, hit us up in the comments below and like let us know which is which.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

It's magma cum lade.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Yeah. Uh so you were dope at school. Exactly. You got dope ass grades, girl. Yeah. Uh okay, in TV slash film slash radio.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Okay. And then then you moved to Los Angeles?

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Yeah, almost immediately.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Did you know immediately? Did you know from being in Syracuse, you're like Los Angeles?

SPEAKER_03 8:24

No, I wanted to move to New York.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

New York City?

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Oh, okay. Well, LA and New York are different places.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Well, so here's this, and this is a running theme in my life. Okay. Okay. So I lived in New York City for a little bit when I was in high school, and I was like, this is the best place in the world, like, this is where I want to be. Um, and I told my dad, I was like, I want to go to NYU. And he was like, he didn't want me to go there because my older sister had gone there and like did not have a good time, I think. And the so he was like, I don't think you should go there. I think you should go to Syracuse. So like I go to Syracuse basically because it's like easier because my dad applied for me. Like and so then I was gonna move to New York after college, but then like it's really hard to move somewhere if like you don't have a lot of support. So like I ended up just moving back in with my parents briefly, and then LA was like an out two hours away, and like I don't need a ton of support to move to LA. I can drive myself there. I got an apartment with a girl, like I met at a bar, and I up got a PA job, and like that, it was so easy. Right. Whereas like moving across the country without like your parents helping you is I don't know how anyone does that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Well, and also like I feel like it's easier to I feel like the grind is sometimes easier in LA just by virtue of how the city is set up and like the cost and all that sort of stuff versus New York is like.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Yeah, New York was so expensive back then, even so yeah, yeah. It was I got a really cheap apartment here.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

Yeah, what uh what part of town were you in?

SPEAKER_03 10:03

I was in Echo Park, which wasn't cool back then. Yeah, for sure. Like 12 years ago, it was still like uh a tough neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, or just not gentrified yet, I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

Um okay, so you moved to Los Angeles, you're gonna work in radio slash TV slash film.

First PA Job And Ending People Pleasing

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

And uh how how did you begin that process?

SPEAKER_03 10:24

Yeah, this is why I'm like that Syracuse connection was so good. A bunch of us moved here. One of my friends was like, Oh, you want to come PA on this thing with me for a day? And I was like, Yeah. And because I I am very hardworking, and like, so I made a very good impression that one day and made that into just like a permanent assistant job working for the showrunner of that show in one day, in one day, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Okay, wow, yeah. So then you're just you're working as an assistant to a showrunner, yeah, a TV show creator, yeah. Okay, and you've been to in LA for like 10 seconds, yeah. Wow, yeah, that's truly incredible. What did you learn from that experience?

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Well, it was a really good experience in that. So we talked about like uh I you you keep having sober people on your show. I'm sober and I like had a drinking problem. And one thing I learned from that experience specifically is that I also had I I have a history of alcohol abuse in my family, so I have like al-on issues too. So I'm very people pleasy. Sure. And something I learned from that experience was I was living with this girl and I was doing anything to keep her happy. The your roommate, my roommate, and we watched one of the boss's dogs for like a weekend, and it didn't go well, but I was just gonna be like, great, whatever. Like, no one ever needs to know about this. But she was like, You should email him, and so I did. I just did what this girl told me to do because I didn't want to rock the boat, and it like blew the job up in my face. Like I had to quit after that because he was like a very violent, scary man. And it was such a good experience to be like, Oh, I gotta be careful who's in my life. Because at this point in my life, like I am so moldable, and I was 22. Like, I'll I'll do whatever anyone tells me to do.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

So that was kind of like a wake-up call.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Okay, so let that's interesting. So the that makes me uh was it good that you blew up the job in the long run because this person was maybe not a person that you needed to or wanted to continue working for?

SPEAKER_03 12:30

It wasn't my boss, direct boss, it was like the head of the show.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

So the boss and I are fine. If I wanted to text him now, I could. And it was also a reality TV job, so it wasn't the end of the world, right? Like, whatever. I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

So I I do consider that a good experience.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Okay, great. But it also, but but good in the fact that it's also you understood how to not be people pleasing with your reality.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Exactly, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

How's people pleasing going?

SPEAKER_03 12:58

I don't do it really anymore. Really?

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Like, how teach me it's hard.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

I mean, I've been trying for like 12 years, yeah. And I still do it sometimes. Like, and we'll talk privately about that because if someone listens to this, they'll know of course I'm who I'm talking about. But like you just you have to be okay with being seen as kind of a bitch, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Which is probably a different dynamic. Like, if I was like, I'm a genius if I'm a dick.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

No, yeah, you should just do it.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Yeah, it's so hard to I it's so ingrained, I feel like such a deeply held thing that I'm like, I I I and I don't know where that comes from. Like, I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

You know, therapy?

SPEAKER_03 13:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Okay, we'll stop talking about me. You're the guest. No, we can't. Um, okay, so you blew up this um uh thing that you were working on, this reality TV show or for this reality TV show situation. When did you get into comedy

UCB Improv Highs And Cutthroat Politics

SPEAKER_00 13:53

in LA?

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Immediately.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Okay, so you landed your off the turnip truck, as they say, and you went to I immediately took a UCB class.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Like, I think I'm I drove up here and then the next night I had my first UCB class.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Who's your first teacher?

SPEAKER_03 14:06

Jessica Eason.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Did you enjoy the process of going through UCB?

SPEAKER_03 14:11

I loved it. Yeah, it was like life-changing. I was like, this is it. I obviously I don't think you can really turn improv into a career, but I was like, whatever this is, this is what I want to do forever.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Right. And also, like, I think that you, I think that I too was there. There was like a moment. Yeah, we were there. There was like a 15-year period of time, both in parts of the journey from from them leaving New York to coming to LA, that there was just it was just like the heyday. It was just like the golden era of imprav we were. We were there.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Oh, we're so lucky.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

We're incredibly lucky.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Um, so okay. So you're sort of uh being an assistant, sort of like survival job stuff, navigating everything that every single person that's ever moved to LA in the early 20s does. Yeah. Just navigating roommates and navigating where to live and how to live and how to survive and all that sort of stuff. But you're taking class at UCB and you're loving it.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

I loved it. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

And so you uh auditioned for Harold.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Did you get on Herald the first time you auditioned?

SPEAKER_03 15:13

No, the second time.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

You auditioned for Harold twice, you got okay, great. And how was that?

SPEAKER_03 15:18

I hated being on Herald Night.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Why?

SPEAKER_03 15:21

Uh, because I think it was the heyday, the pressure was fucking crazy. Everyone was like, this is your one shot to be famous, but this is my one shot to be famous. So, like, fuck you, I'm gonna walk all over you. Like it was so competitive, like from people on your team. Like everyone was competing with each other.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Right.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

And the my the AD at the time, like had been someone I was like so just in love with as a comedy person, and then it felt like she turned on me. And I, you know, and so I just was also I had the alcohol problem, so I was very angry. I was in a very bad relationship. It was like a just everything that could necessarily just be external forces, yeah. But I don't actually do well when everyone is like being competitive and crazy, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Yeah, yeah, because uh we spoke uh when Echo is here, we spoke really briefly about it. Like that process of getting on Herald is so competitive. Like I don't know how many people it would have auditioned when you would have been auditioning, but it was like it was a couple thousand, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:28

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Several thousand people are like auditioning for like 16 like 24 places, basically. Yeah, yeah. So how long were you on Herald? Did you do a full year? And then you were like, I'm out.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

No, I got kicked off.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Oh, okay. Yeah, could was there any explanation to that at all?

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Yeah, I had an alcohol problem and I was mean.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Oh, okay. So that's that'll do it. Wow, a comedian with an alcohol problem.

unknown 16:54

Huh.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Interesting that that uh happens. Yeah. Uh okay, great. Yeah. But who cares about Harold? You were on mod too.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Okay, the which is obviously. Did we know each other before we were on mod together?

SPEAKER_03 17:05

I had met you, yeah. Well, because I knew Sabrina.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Ah.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

She was mine first. Yeah, we were. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

We're claiming ownership as it is. Okay. Okay, but we uh uh yes, I do remember that. That we did know each other beforehand, and then we got on a mod is a house sketch team at the Uprise Citizens Brigade, and then we were together for three years.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

I was there for two and a half. I think you guys did three years. Yeah. I quit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very it's interesting because these uh teaching institutions, and this is not just for UCB, this is for all teaching institutions that sort of do this. Is I felt the same way at IO in certain scenarios, and it's like it's certainly a thing that takes place at Groundlings. I'm sure Second City the same way. Um, is that when they're like creating when there are people within um the structures of these institutions who come up as students and then get opportunities to be in administrative positions and then essentially bestow the opportunity to other young people that might be able to change their lives and their careers by just being on the stage for a certain period of time, it becomes incredibly political. Yeah, and which is inherent to like humanity, yeah. Uh, but it is difficult to have something be so fraught and so competitive and so political when it's just about trying to make people laugh.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Yeah, I don't do well in that environment, yeah. Which is why I think SNL stopped being my goal. Because I was like, I I don't thrive like that. And it it really actually became apparent in like the college thing where I did so badly in high school because it was like the hardest high school in San Diego, like it was it was so competitive. Like where you were going to college mattered so much, and like how much money your family had, and like we lived in an apartment, like I walked to school, like it just was like so I hated that environment. And then once I got to college, nobody cared.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Right, yeah, yeah. College is the great reason.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Yeah, I love college, nobody cared what grades you were getting, nobody gave a shit. And like finally, I was like free to be just try hard because I wanted to do well, right? Not because everyone else was.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Right. So yeah. And then like back to improv school, and it's like, oh, it's competitive and cutthroat, and everybody's like when I was just a student at UCB, I would oh my god, I remember just being like, This is the best, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

I'm in my practice groups, this is so much fun. And then once I got to Harold and Maud and it became competitive again, I hated it.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Right. Yeah, man, that's such a bummer.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

It's such a bummer.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

I mean, I think that's a reality for like a lot of people that understand or that like find that experience even beyond like comedy institutions when you start to get into the industry and then you start to get like pigeonheld, and you're like, wait, this is the thing that I have to do forever. Like, oh, I thought I was gonna be able to be like a creative or like an actor, writer, directory person, and it's just like, oh, now all I do is like I don't know, do physical comedy based on my body or whatever. Like that, like sometimes it happens to people where you're like, oh, I guess that's me now. They can sell that. Yeah, that's tough.

unknown 20:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Okay, so after you know, UCB happened and that sort

CAA Pressure And The Audition Burnout

SPEAKER_00 20:23

of stuff. What what happened after that?

SPEAKER_03 20:25

Um, what happened? I got okay, so I got cut from UCB and then like immediately got signed by my manager, and then she got me signed at CAA pretty quickly, if you remember that chapter.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

I do, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

So I got signed at CAA, and everyone was like, You're gonna be so successful. It's gonna happen immediately. And then I think I went on like five series regulars audition a week for like four years and just got so burnt out. Right. Like did not book anything, like a couple one-liners, and then the pandemic hit and I dropped the CAA. I was like, I can't live like this, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Yeah, and how did that feel?

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Uh I booked a pilot like two weeks after that. So I was like, okay, like that's the universe telling me I'm gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Um and then yeah, just like the pandemic, you know. Yeah, was like, it's so horrible. And but I made a short film during it, and that, you know, did the festival thing. It won JFL, which was cool.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Congrats.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

That's incredible.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Yeah, it was cool. Uh what is it called?

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Yeah, what was the name of your JFL winning shirt film? Boomerang. Boomerang. Where can people find this film?

SPEAKER_03 21:53

Vimeo?

SPEAKER_00 21:54

It's on Vimeo? I don't even know.

SPEAKER_03 21:56

I don't have the link. I the girl who directed.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Oh, okay, great. Yeah. So did you write it?

SPEAKER_03 22:02

I wrote it with her and I started in it with Maren Hinkle.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 22:05

Yeah, no, it was cool. But then nothing happened for like four years, and I tried to quit the industry.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Oh, and how how did that look?

SPEAKER_03 22:14

I applied to rabbinical school. Um they still hit me up. Uh-huh. I didn't go, obviously. Sure. Uh I started working in fashion. I remember this. Yeah. I worked in fashion for like almost a year.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Yeah. And then they just got their claws in you. They brought you back, huh? Yeah. You're just back in the industry. Yeah. You're here, baby.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

Okay. I mean, I get that. Like, I have that, I've had that feeling a lot too. Like, I think it's part of the journey of just being a creative person. Like, you can't, like, it's just we always so frequently have the perception that everything's gonna be linear, and it's just gonna be this step, and then this step, and then this step, and then fame.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

And it's like, and then fame is the thing that's gonna solve all of our things. Exactly. And it's like no. It's like a really common theme on this podcast is sit down with people and them not have a linear journey, like one step forward, two steps back type situation. And even when they get to a place that they feel like is success, it just exacerbates more of the issues that they're having until they until we all kind of just realize we gotta just do what we gotta do for us.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Yeah, I think I'm really glad I quit for like a year and did fashion. And because I think a whole thing that I think about all the time is like, could I be happy doing something else?

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

And I wasn't. Like, I I like having a job and I liked, you know, doing well. I I went from intern to like third highest person at that company in that one year, which is like yeah, which is wild insane. Yeah, and it's because I am so hardworking, like you know, the PA to showrunner assistant in one day pipeline. Like, I know I can do it, so I'm like, if I can do anything else, I could be I I'm always like I could be a doctor in eight years if I start now. Yeah, like but that one year of quitting, I was like, I became friends with a couple people who are execs, but they want to be creatives, yeah. And they're nasty, like they're mean. Oh, okay, interesting because they're jealous that that they're mean toward towards creatives?

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:25

Like these couple people were mean and unhappy because they're not doing what they want to be doing.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Right. They are Yeah, they took the corporate office job, it's six figures a year. It's like a lot of pressure, and they have to deliver constantly, but they don't actually get to do any of the things that they want.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

Yeah. And I was like, oh, if I I will become nasty. So I might as well just accept that I'm gonna be not have that much money for probably a really long time, maybe forever. Right. That's something I've had to accept. Sydney, you might live in an apartment for your entire life. You will never be able to afford to have a baby, right? Possibly. But like, you know, there's only a certain amount of time you can do that. Right. And like, I can't, you know, don't I don't want to be, and everyone's always like, well, you figure it out. I don't want to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

Right.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

I don't want to be a struggle to want with a baby and a career. Like, I'm just gonna pick my career, and like I've come to peace with that. Um and but they they can't handle that. The uncertainty, they can't handle the being maybe broke for a long time. Right. And I was like, I can't handle that. I've already done it for 10 years. Like, I like my apartment, like I can afford a dog. I love my dog.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

Yeah, she's great.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

Yeah, I'm a really good cook. I don't have to eat out all the time. Like, I figured out how to do this. So I was, I kind of basically at the end of that fashion job, I was like, okay, I'm just gonna accept that like some people will will think I'm a loser, but I'm happy because of the case. I mean, that's the win, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:54

I mean, look, if anybody's like, you're a loser, it's because they're unhappy.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

Well, exactly. Because I would have these comments from these people being like, you know, like you know what comments. And it would just yeah, and I was just like, yeah, great. Like, I'm trying and I'm proud of what I'm making.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

Like I like my videos. That's something I think about all the time. Is like, I'm not putting out shit I think is bad. Like, I really like my stupid music comedy videos.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

So I'm happy.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Well, and also like, you know, it's interesting because like I think, especially especially now that like the dynamics of distribution have changed so greatly and that we have the power to actually become our own distribution platforms. Um, I think that that does give us a really great opportunity to be able to do that. And I think that there are certain types of people that are willing to be like, I'm I'm just gonna try it. I'm just gonna put stuff out. I feel like I experience on a regular basis in this town so many people that are just afraid to do anything because they're worried about what it's gonna be perceived like, yeah, or like that it's gonna actually take work to do the thing to get it out. And it's like really, really interesting. Like I find as I do more of these and like try to expand the YouTube channel, people are like, Why are you doing it if you're trying to do this other thing that's just like so inherently in the the cogs of the industry? And I'm like, well, well, hopefully one fuels the other. No, it will, and then also you know, the cogs of the industry, if there's anything that we've learned over the last five years, are not consistent. It's gonna, it's all changing at all times, it's moving so fast, yeah, and so it's like being flexible, being able to understand how to do your own stuff. Um, it seems like an imperative going forward in the in the future.

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Yeah, you have to just once I was like, oh, it's okay that pe if anyone thinks I'm a loser, it's okay if anyone thinks I'm cringy, it's okay if anyone thinks I'm not funny, and it's okay if anyone thinks I'm a bitch. I'm just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Right. Like, yeah. Okay, well, let's talk about it. Yeah. Let's talk

Musical Impressions And Feeding The Machine

SPEAKER_00 28:04

about it. Yeah. So you've started a series that you distribute on vertical platforms. Because is it is it just Instagram?

SPEAKER_03 28:15

It it well, I do I have posted stuff on TikTok, but I despise the the just the TikTok machine. Right. So I don't do it as I don't really do it.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Right. When you say you despise the TikTok machine, you mean like the idea that you're the algorithm you're gonna have to like have a hook immediately so that people stay on.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

No, I like that about TikTok actually, and I like that it doesn't just go to followers, but I get so many nasty comments on TikTok. For some reason, I think people are a little nicer on Instagram, not by much.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Yeah, I was like, wow, that seems like a very thin delineation of niceness.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

But it it is like it's shocking. Instagram for some reason, I think because people still use it for personal reasons. Whereas TikTok, I feel like everyone with a TikTok is trying to do something. Right. So people are so nasty. Yeah. Um, whereas Instagram, I get, you know, one main message a day instead of so many. Right. So yeah. But yes, whatever you said I'm doing, I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

Yeah, you're creating a vertical series, basically. Yeah, right. I mean, the thing is like that's part of what is the future, right? Yeah. Is understanding and also like I've always thought it was really funny because it's like the phone is currently vertical, but like the second that anybody cracks wearables, everything's going back horizontal, y'all. The second that we got sunglasses that you can stream TikTok, you know it's going sideways. Oh, it's funny.

SPEAKER_03 29:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Like, just think about it. The second that Ray Bands actually has metaglasses and all of your eyes are this way, it's like, hey, we're back to 169, we're back to 240. Thank goodness. Me as a person framing images is gonna be like, thank goodness.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Oh, anyway, that was a side tangent. That was a nerdy tangent. Oh, I love it. Okay, so describe, tell us what it is that you make.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

Um I do mo for the most part, I do musical impressions of Stevie Nicks, Kate Bush, Lana Del Rey, and I just do them doing their regular, what I think they're doing at home.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Yeah, like taking out the garbage.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

Yeah, taking out the garbage.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

Cleaning them, cleaning the mirror.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Yeah, taking a bath.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

It's so funny.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

And have you so obviously part of the uh this podcast is called filming shit, and the idea is to like spur people on to actually do that. Do you feel like have you not only been finding joy, but have you been finding opportunity or success or or things coming from making these videos? Are you ready for this? I'm ready. Yeah, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Okay. A couple years ago, I meet my friend's friend. She's a director, her friend is a film director, and he makes this like cool movie, this cool found footage horror movie called Frog Man. And I watched the movie and I'm like, I wish I was in this so annoying. Like, I want to be in this found footage horror movie because I love horror. Like, that's really I really want to be in horror. Um, wish I was in that. Uh so annoying, I'm not in that. Maybe they'll make a sequel and I'll be in it. The sequel just came out, I'm not in it. Anyway. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Do they not know?

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Well, get ready.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:17

So I just forget about it, keep making my videos, you know, see this guy a couple times, whatever. And my friend texted me like three months ago. Hey, Anthony wants us to talk to you. He's making another movie, and he wants us to know if you'd want to be in it. And I was like, Yeah, I'll talk to him. And it's from my videos. I'm in the next one.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

You are? Yeah. You can officially announce it? Is it happening?

SPEAKER_03 31:42

Well, I um whatever.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

It's going live.

SPEAKER_03 31:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Um, okay, but that's great. But just okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

Don't make this a clip.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Okay, I won't make this a clip. This is gonna be embedded deep in the podcast. You gotta earn this information, y'all. Yeah. Um, okay, great. So it is working. It works is working. Yeah, that you're just you're making stuff, you're making stuff true to your vision, to your voice, to what you like.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

That's what I think is important.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

Everyone was always like, find your niche, find your niche. And I was like, I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

Oh, dude, it's such a buzzy bullshit thing. But it doesn't mean anything.

SPEAKER_03 32:15

It doesn't mean anything. But then I was like, Well, my niche is I'm like a little creepy.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Yeah. And I love I've always thought that about you.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

A little creepy, love a haunted woman. And then the second I make the Stevie Nish and the Stevie Nix and the Kate Bush videos, like it blows up.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:29

So I I guess I don't say find your niche, but I'm like, I think the note behind the note there is just like be true to yourself.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Right, right, right. It's like, yeah, just whatever your personality is that can come across and visual storytelling, yeah. Get after it. Okay, great. So it's working. How consistently do you feel like you are in a position where you have to like feed the machine, so to speak, or are you just like really anytime you're inspired, you're like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:54

No, I'm a slave to the machine. Really? Yeah. That was a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

Is it like is it worrisome? Is it tiresome?

SPEAKER_03 33:00

I'm very tired.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:02

And it is worrisome.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Really?

SPEAKER_03 33:04

Yeah. Yeah. I'm scared if I stop. That it'll all go away.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Well, but isn't the dream that you just do it for a while till you get to a place that you want, and then you can Yeah, but what's the goal keeps moving?

SPEAKER_03 33:15

I just hit like a goal of 30,000 followers, and I'm like, right, I need 50.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

So, but that's the issue with people like us, is the goal will always be a few more.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

Oh, I know, of course, because it's gonna be like, well, I got two Academy Awards, I need 70.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Yeah, exactly. Like, if if we've, you know, unfortunately taken the money thing off the table, which is now I need something else, and it's like right external validation. External, I need the external validation if I'm not gonna have the cash. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

But hopefully the cash will be leveraged by external validation, right? Isn't that part of the hope?

SPEAKER_03 33:47

I don't know if there's money in this anymore. I've had to completely take that off the table.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Really? Yeah, it's interesting to me because it's like brands aren't interested in exploring your relationship to these singers.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

Right now.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Oh, I feel like that's probably possible.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Maybe. Yeah. But we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Yeah, we'll talk, we'll talk. We'll see. Because I think there's gotta be you you know what's actually really interesting? I'm be like, we don't need to talk about this in the podcast, but it seems like there's a lot of marketing that's going towards uh vertical micro narratives, and it's like Oh, yeah, we should get into that. Yeah, yeah. We should get into it. No, I'm saying not this podcast, but we should get into it. We should talk about this. If you guys are developing a Starbucks, if you're developing a micro narrative for vertical distributions, hit us up. We've got writing, directing, shooting, and acting experience.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

Well, or like gap or Levi's, you know. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, actually gap, Levi, you know, actually more like so uh Sony cameras if you guys want to. Yeah, whatever. We will show anything.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

Yeah, no, but I would like I think I did see Gap as making like a production. No, they are, yeah. So I'm like, I would do that in a second because once again I worked in fashion and I liked it.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

Right.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Well, tell Gap right now, manifest it.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

Gap, let's make something together. Let's do this.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

Yeah, great. See, that's the whole point of this podcast. Unwavering and relentless capitalism.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Um, this is incredible. Yeah. What's the few what's the future?

SPEAKER_03 35:19

For me or for both. I think for me, keep making stuff. I'm writing a horror movie right now that I'm gonna make.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

Okay, great. Man, I would love I what I'm I wonder who could possibly- I've already told you you're shooting it multiple times.

SPEAKER_03 35:34

Multiple times.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Um wait, actually, I'm so sorry, I have to interrupt.

SPEAKER_03 35:39

Go for it.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Um, we just skipped a huge thing that

SXSW Grind And Making Work With Friends

SPEAKER_00 35:42

just happened to you.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

You were just at a film festival.

SPEAKER_03 35:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

You particip you participated in a film.

SPEAKER_03 35:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

And it was at tell us about the film festival. What was it?

SPEAKER_03 35:50

South by Southwest. Okay, that's a pretty big film festival. It was a dream come true.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Okay, so you acted in a horror movie. Yeah. And your friend made the film, right?

SPEAKER_03 35:57

My friend made it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Right, but not to minimize your existence in your own.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

No, I think it's important to say because I met her 10 years ago. Right. Maybe longer. No, 10 years ago. And we've been friends for so long. And it is just like stick around your friends, because that's the only way to make anything. I feel like if you're not because I also accepted a long time ago, I'm probably not gonna get stuff from auditioning. I'm just that's probably not gonna be my path. I don't have a famous parent. That's really what I learned at CAA. Everything I would audition for would go to someone with a famous parent. And no shade to, I think so many Neppo babies are so talented.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

No, I agree.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

They're so talented. And I want to see them. You think I want to live in a world without Zoe Kravitz? I don't want to live in that world.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

No, I know. She's incredible.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

Gorgeous, talented. Like, that's a world I want to live in. So I no, no shade. I'm just like, that's not my path. I have to do something else.

SPEAKER_01 36:47

Right.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

So, like, I think it's just not being angry about that and pivoting. So I was like, great, I gotta make the videos, I gotta make stuff with my friends. Like, that's what's gonna happen for me.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Yeah, and so how did the do you talk about the film? How did it come to be? And um uh your friend, did she write it?

SPEAKER_03 37:04

My friend wrote and directed it with her partner. So they it was it's an anthology, so it's like four little short films that are all connected.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Oh, I love that. That's such a great distribution idea to make a feature, right? Because then you can be varied in your locations, you can pull a lot of favors, you don't have to be like, we need 21 days in your hospital set.

SPEAKER_03 37:23

No, exactly. And so I helped her, it was originally like a short film, and the idea was they were gonna make four. So I helped her on the short and was in the short four years ago, and then they slowly made the rest of it with like a bunch of cool comedians that we all know. And um then it got into freaking South by Southwest. It's really good, and uh, so I was like, uh, it's gonna be very expensive for me to go, but I think it'll be worth it. And it was of course it was. You should always spend the money.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

Incredible on the red carpet, it was amazing. Like all of the images that were coming out, I was like, she's a star. It's unbelievable. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

Oh, it's called Grind.

SPEAKER_00 38:06

Okay, the name of the film is Grind. Yeah, and you were in it at South by Southwest. Okay, great.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

Great.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Oh my god. I'm so stuck. Are you gonna go back to South by Southwest? Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Soon. Okay, with some project.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Yeah. What's next for Grind? Do you know?

SPEAKER_03 38:22

I think we're looking for a distributor.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

Yeah. But how did it do? I've never been to South by Southwest. Explain it to me. Uh just from the beginning.

SPEAKER_03 38:36

Um, okay, you go, you get your badge. There's like events everywhere, there's movies everywhere. It's kind of hard to get into the movies.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

Did you go to like the conference? Were there like panels?

SPEAKER_03 38:49

I'll say this. And I think it's clear from this podcast, I have horrible ADHD and I'm not medicated. I didn't notice. Oh, well, I'm sure Sabrina noticed because it's like a lot of like la la la la, and like I don't remember what I said. Yeah, so and I don't know what I'm about to say.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Yeah, I don't think anybody knows what they're about to say.

SPEAKER_03 39:08

But I just mean like I will go on tangents. I think at one point I did zone off. Like it's just like yeah, and that's another thing about the journey though, when with acting and writing and directing, is like I know I have ADHD, so I just try to like do what I gotta do. Yeah, you know? Yeah. So anyway, back to South. So I have ADHD. So it was very challenging for me.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

Right.

SPEAKER_03 39:32

Because it's just a lot of stimuli, or it was really stimulating, and it was there was so much to do, and when there's too many opportunities, I shut down. So you just no, I did do stuff, don't worry. I made I what I'm really good at is making a connection with one person, and then like you're my person. So, like, I have a new best friend from South by Southwest. Great, congratulations. Yeah, who's a director and I already sent her your stuff, don't worry. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 39:59

That's very sweet.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

I'm always I think I've sent your stuff to three people this morning. Wait, really? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I send your stuff all the time because like you're one of the few people who we've ever had a conversation that has you've clearly taken my advice. Yeah. Because I remember like, I think it was like four years ago or three years ago, you were like, I don't like social media. And I was like, I don't care, do it. Yeah, and then you did it.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Yeah. And we're here, and we're here. I'm literally trying to leverage a media company out of social media.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

Yeah. You you were so like, I don't want to do it, I hate it. And I was like, too bad. Like, and now you're doing it. So, like, and so many people I talked to were like, I don't care, I don't like it. And I'm like, great, then good luck.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, more of what we were like, like sort of what we were talking about before, which is like there is there's an old establishment of what Hollywood used to be, and like we all like moved here when that was like sort of fading, and we were like, Oh, that's the stories we tell ourselves. There's like a lot of generations of people that are like not wanting to be upstarters. You know what I mean? It's sort of like the well, just print up my headshot and I'll just take it to a casting office.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

And you're like, never getting a headshot done again, just so everyone knows.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

I mean, we don't need it on my Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean now that you're saying this, I was like, ooh, I gotta reformulate my uh my grid on Instagram.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

I gotta I was looking at it. You need some I gotta fresh it up.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Yeah, well, because the thing is like I've shot so many projects since the ones that I've last posted, but I've just you know what's interesting is like as I'm as I'm scaling and getting more opportunities as a cinematographer, which I'm incredibly grateful for. Yeah, um, the post process becomes longer and longer on all of them. And so it's like I have like several projects that I'm really excited about. Like I tried a feature in Amsterdam last year, which I'm incredibly excited about.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

I got you also.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Yes, yes, you did. Thank you. Um and I'm your manager. You are pleased to be my manager, and uh, but I can't post any of those images. No, I know. Like I can't show anything from it because it's like we can't, so we have to wait for that. And there's a number of short films that I've been able to shoot that have more resource, and same thing. It's like just until they're out, it's like, oh, it's the it's the shorts that are made for competitions and fat and like whatever that are easier for me to post quicker. Yeah, no, so hopefully next time.

SPEAKER_03 42:21

Yeah, no, I wouldn't send anything bad.

SPEAKER_00 42:23

Okay, thank you. I appreciate that. All right, but this is good career advice. Guys, if you need career advice, please hit up.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

I know I am good at it because I think something I'm good at is like shining a light on people. Yeah, like you're amazing, girlfriend, go do it. Nate, go do it, post. You're amazing.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Yeah, thank you. Um, okay, so you had an overwhelmingly positive uh South by Southwest experience.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Yeah, it was really fun. I definitely think someone who's a little more type A and like has their shit together could really get a lot out of it more than I did. But you know, me connecting with one person ultimately huge.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

So yeah, that's awesome. Okay, so you have a horror screenplay that you're currently working on.

SPEAKER_03 43:06

Yeah, I have to finish it. It's like almost frickin' done. Yeah, great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Wait, you're currently working on a show too, right?

Writing Room Reality And Anxiety Medication

SPEAKER_03 43:14

Writing on a Disney show, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

Okay, great. And like, how is how is consistency? How is like stability?

SPEAKER_03 43:21

It's really cool. It's never happened to me before. I have health insurance from my art job. Yeah, congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

That is huge. That's how you know you've made it.

SPEAKER_03 43:29

No, yeah, that's crazy. I have health insurance. Like that has been like, what the fuck? And it's about to be over, so I'm freaking out. Um, but also it's exciting because I'm exhausted. That's the other thing though. When you start when your thing becomes your job, when your art becomes your job, it is so exhausting.

SPEAKER_02 43:49

Of course, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Like I haven't really made a new video in a while. I've been reposting old videos, and that works, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

Really works.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

I know, I I need to get on that too. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:59

It's old stuff.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

And then I haven't been able to finish my movie because I'm so tired. And like I I'm not very social because it's just like having to use your brain in a creative way all day, and you have to because it's your job. Like you will get fired. Right. Like you can't not do it. It is so exhausting. And I still want to do it forever, and it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 44:18

But yeah, I I it's so it's okay to admit to being tired. I think I don't think that that's a problem. It's like I think we all have ebbs and flows of energy and decreased energy when it's like, yeah, sometimes you gotta just show up and grind, and you're like, oh like uh when can I just lay sideways for a little bit? So yeah, um okay, great, but like there's light at the end of the tunnel.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

Yeah, and it's also so fun. And I just finished my last episode, so I uh I I get to rest now.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

Okay, great. Yeah. So what uh what is it that now that the job is coming to an end, or at least this season? Yeah. Um, what's uh what's on the horizon?

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Um I'm gonna finish my movie and true try to make it like and I I have that's what's funny about this now, because I feel like a couple of years ago we've been like, how do we make a movie? But now I'm like, no, I'm gonna finish my movie and then we're gonna make it. Yeah. So that's just not even a question. And also now I've just seen so many people raise money for stuff. I'm like, that's just not that's not hard. I mean it's hard, but it's of course, but like kind of like we said, I work hard, so that doesn't scare me anymore.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Well, and also I think that it seems it sounds like Grind did something really smart with the which they were used to able to use like outside of the box, thinking of doing like four separate shorts or whatever, put it together to create an anthology feature. It's like there are ways to like raise money based off of that where you could piecemeal it or whatever, or or even though like now you've been to South by Southwest, you're part of a project. It's like, oh okay, does that director have the opportunity to bring on executive producers or can be a producer? Like, there's so many ways, and like we're now getting to a place in our careers and our lives where like we can ask him to start calling in those favors, exactly, which is cool. That's exciting.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

Yeah, well, it's exciting for you too. Yeah, I'd just like really excited. I'm so grateful.

SPEAKER_00 46:05

Yeah, oh man, I can't wait to read it. Okay, uh, so um are there any like any long-term goals or like any concerns? Uh let's do any any long-term goals, like long-term goals, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:17

Yeah, I'd like to sell a TV show.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

Um just just cuz? Or like one specifically?

SPEAKER_03 46:26

Well, I feel we're talking about this because it's not that far along, but yeah, we don't have to talk about it specifically, but you have an idea for a show that you desperately want to sell. Well, no, I have I do have a show set up at a studio right now. Oh, okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

So, but you don't know its destiny yet. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 46:42

I don't know its destiny yet. Um, so I do have to go pitch that to networks like immediately after my job's over. So I do, I guess, know what I'm doing right after the and that is scary.

SPEAKER_00 46:55

Yeah, but is it better to be is it better for it to be like a scary thing that you're gonna have to overcome or just uncertainty?

SPEAKER_03 47:02

No, yeah, you you're right. And also what's great is we already pitched it to the studio and it went so well that now because that was making me sick to my stomach, like the pitch to the studio.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

Uh-huh. And why?

SPEAKER_03 47:15

I don't know, but I was also I had to get medicated. I'll say that. I'm on Alexa Pro for anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

I don't know for anxiety.

SPEAKER_03 47:23

I don't do ADHD drugs, but I had to get medicated for anxiety because I was sick all the time.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

Okay, so it was just like you were stressing about stuff?

SPEAKER_03 47:33

I was so stressed out about work.

SPEAKER_00 47:36

Like it's so interesting.

SPEAKER_03 47:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

Wait, even just one day at a time wasn't enough?

SPEAKER_03 47:41

It was not enough.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

I understand people talk about that.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

I was just like, I I I do think I have a chemical imbalance for anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:48

So I was just like sick to my stomach over this pitch to the network.

SPEAKER_00 47:52

Even wait, so hold on, really quickly to interrupt. I'm sorry. But even so you were getting so sick that even to the way we're like were you not doing like lists about what the possibilities are and things that you have control over? Like here's what I can control, here's like the outcome. It's like, what's the worst thing could control?

SPEAKER_03 48:09

The worst thing that can happen was, oh, the studio didn't want it. Great. Like that's literally the worst thing that could happen.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

Didn't matter, didn't matter. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 48:17

But that's why I think I have a chemical imbalance because like that's not logical. So getting on meds actually really changed my life. Okay. And this was in the past two months. Great. Like, yeah. So now what's nice though is I have this pitch to the network and I'm not worried about it at all.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

Okay, that's great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

Like it's obviously there's the uncertainty, and that scares me just because I do want to sell a TV show that is a lifelong dream. Um, because uh I I listened to the podcast and a lot of people like, I grew up watching movies, I was obsessed with movies. I was obsessed with TV. Like I What was your show? I was obsessed with Will and Grace.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

Will and Grace was your show? Yeah, I it's a great show.

SPEAKER_03 48:57

Yeah, I was obsessed with it. I was like, I want to make sitcoms. Like I love sitcoms. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:02

Um and do they do you think that they still have legs? Do you think sitcoms will come back?

SPEAKER_03 49:07

I don't know, but I'm trying.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:09

I'm trying.

SPEAKER_00 49:10

I mean, I think that there's an argument that sitcoms are clippable. Yeah. Like I think there's a world where it's like, remember when Key and Peel existed and they were like maybe one of the first shows, at least the first show that I knew about, that would do sketches and it would be on TV. It would be on Comedy Central. They would do an entire sketch show, but they would cut up each sketch and then distribute it on YouTube. Like I feel like there's a future where there's like network or cable, like multi-cam sitcoms that could be clipped up into verticals, like pretty like they're jokes, they're setups and jokes.

SPEAKER_03 49:41

Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

Why aren't people why aren't the people doing it? You know, they will.

SPEAKER_03 49:45

My show.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_03 49:47

So that's my other than making my movie, that's my immediate goal is to pitch that show. Um I don't remember what else we're

Money Fears Beyond Los Angeles

SPEAKER_03 49:58

talking about.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

Yeah, do we have do you do you have any concerns or thoughts about the future of the industry? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 50:04

Like we said, I'm nervous about the money stuff.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 50:07

So I am starting to think, do I need to be in LA?

SPEAKER_00 50:12

Okay. And what what does that mean?

SPEAKER_03 50:14

Just like it's so expensive to live here.

SPEAKER_00 50:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:16

I don't know if you need to be here to I don't think you need to be here to work here anymore. Okay. Like I like the community here, like my friends, that would be very hard to leave. But I do, I guess for me, I'm thinking long-term financially. How is it gonna make it so I can keep doing this? Um so part of me is like, do I move somewhere less expensive?

SPEAKER_00 50:38

And what do you think that would look like?

SPEAKER_03 50:40

Uh like where would I move?

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Maybe, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

Or like um, I mean, I'm I'm looking at every major city in the United States. Yeah. Like I don't have a huge I think I'm someone who can be happy almost anywhere. Like, I don't think I would be happy in a very small town. Right. And I was not happy in San Diego, but that doesn't matter. It's more expensive than LA.

SPEAKER_00 51:00

Right, which is wild. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:02

Oh, insane.

SPEAKER_00 51:04

Um, I it's interesting. Uh, there's uh it's funny because like I'm from the Midwest, I'm from the middle of nowhere where there's like really fresh air and and cornfields and pastures where horses just r roam freely, and um there is like a a really big part of me that like m misses that. Yeah, like I I could not leave my hometown fast enough, just to be clear. Yeah, but there is still a part of me that romanticizes the opportunity of being able to have space and um fresh vegetables.

SPEAKER_03 51:37

The vegetables, there's good veggies in LA, but they're a fortune. Yes, like the farmer's market is so expensive. I'm like, what the fuck is happening?

SPEAKER_00 51:47

Well, just the whole state of California is gentrifying in a way that is it's not even this isn't for this podcast, but we'll talk about it afterwards. I was like, we we can talk about it. Like, I think that it's not even about I don't think it's about race. I don't think it's about that, I think it's about um socioeconomics, and I think it's about the world's socioeconomics. Like I think that California, I think maybe the country hasn't done a great job of reducing or limiting outside purchasing from uh other countries that are coming in that have burgeoning middle classes that can come in and buy up a lot of real estate in neighborhoods in Los Angeles and and many portions of California that um American Californians can no longer afford to buy.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

It's so expensive to live here, and I don't want to I mean, I can't uh not have a job, so I have to figure out how to have if it's not gonna be a creative job, I have to figure out how to have a job that's the least stressful and exhausting as possible so I can still do my creative stuff. Right. And there are parts of this country where you can live and work at a coffee shop, you know?

SPEAKER_00 53:04

Right. I have thought I I thought about that too, to be honest, which is like maybe not a coffee shop, but something like a little bit um maybe more of a commitment than that. Because I was like, oh, is there a way that you could get like a salaried position and you have healthcare and there's maybe like a 401k, but like enough time off that you could be like, well, we're gonna we're gonna go shoot a movie for three weeks and wherever, and you could like go shoot a movie. Um I don't we're not gonna have to do that.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

I well, I hope not, but I do think, well, you know what's funny is so Syracuse like contacted me and now I have mentees at through the college and I went to some event with them and I got to listen to their teachers talk. And one of the teachers is this actor who played the dad on Euphoria, actually, and he's teaching an acting class for these kids. And he said, a big chunk of this class is financial literacy because if you want to stay here and you want to try to make a career here, you have to be smart with money, you have to figure out survival jobs and savings and not spending all your money on whatever and like having a fucking shopping addiction, like or starting a studio in a downtown warehouse.

SPEAKER_00 54:15

No, it has a monthly rent.

SPEAKER_03 54:17

You you're doing great, but it's like I I I talked to my mentees after, and I was like, that's the smartest guy in the room. Like he's actually the only person you need to listen to because uh if you want to be an artist, like a lot of artists have day jobs and you just have to figure out how to make it work. So I guess for me, I have a job here right now in this moment, but I don't know these jobs are getting harder and harder to find.

SPEAKER_01 54:43

Right.

SPEAKER_03 54:43

And I need to be able to live somewhere affordable to keep doing this.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

Right.

SPEAKER_03 54:49

So once again, I hope I don't have to do that, but it is something I'm thinking about and talking about with my partner.

SPEAKER_00 54:54

Yeah, I love that. I think that's perfectly reasonable. I think we're all trying to navigate because nobody knows what the near future looks like. Um, I actually have I have great hope about it because I think that there are interesting things that are happening and burgeoning generations of people that are interested in returning back to consuming more traditional media and long-form storytelling versus it just being shorts and verticals and stuff. So I have great hope for the future.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Oh, I'm not worried about the so much the industry coming back. Like I that's why I I am hopeful about moving somewhere else. I just think the industry's spreading out.

SPEAKER_02 55:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:34

I I don't have so much hope for California. I just like this is where billionaires want to live because it is so nice and beautiful and fantastic. So I'm I'm just like like in Austin, I met so many people who lived all over the country and make cool films. And like those Frogman movies, he made those when he was living in Minneapolis.

SPEAKER_01 55:55

Right.

SPEAKER_03 55:55

Like there's just cool stuff happening everywhere. You know, I could move somewhere and we could, you know, still talk every day if we wanted to, and then meet up somewhere and like shoot, we could shoot something at my affordable home in Kansas City or wherever I live.

SPEAKER_00 56:09

And also Kansas City is a beautiful city.

SPEAKER_03 56:11

It's a fantastic city, it's amazing. There's so many cool cities in this country. Yeah, so I think that's another thing I would say to anyone listening is like you don't have to move to LA anymore. Like, obviously, there's a fantastic community here, but there's fantastic communities everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 56:24

Right. So I think that's a great place to leave off. Yeah. Right? Because I think it brings like uh full circle to the idea of what the podcast is, right? Like it is this is film shit, and uh it is not only is that the umbrella of the subject that we like to talk and explore on the podcast, but it is hopefully a call to action. So if you want to sit where Sid is at, if you want to come and talk about filmmaking, just go out and film shit. That's the only way anything can happen. Yeah, it's where opportunities are are are created. You have to go out and film your own stuff, like whether it's on an iPhone or it's on a whatever, it doesn't matter. So go out and film some shit. Sid, thank you so much for joining us today. Thanks for having me. Of course, it's been an absolute pleasure. Um, guys, uh oh, I have to say this please like, subscribe. It really helps up the channel. Uh leave us a comment. Um, you know, let's talk. Even if it's mean, but just direct it towards me. Um, okay, guys, we'll talk soon. Bye.