"Some Ish You Just Can't Make Up"

This week, we’re diving into the kind of stories that make you stop and say, “there’s no way that actually happened.” From bizarre coincidences to completely unhinged real-life moments, we’re talking about the stuff you truly just can’t make up.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Yeah, man, so that boy Pooh Shistley back in the news again, bruh. Man, I hate to see that for him, bro. I can't say the same. Man, I hate to see see that for him, man. I can't I can't say the same. He was a crash out, obviously. He won't lie in none of his shit, bro. But the reason why I can I gotta say I can't say the same is because at the end of the day, bro, you're a celebrity now. Like, at some point you gotta leave the streets behind you. Nigga, you are on you're on house arrest. That nigga did shit to my hero, bro. Man, it's crazy, bruh. For the fact that you you're on, you already got an ankle monitor on you in the first place. You got an ankle monitor on you, and then you go to, bro. That nigga was not. He didn't care, bro. But this is business. Oh, he's gone though. He's gone though. That nigga just did five. Yeah. And came home and he's going right back. He lucky he do 15. Him and his dad. He lucky he do 15. Him and his dad, bro. But that's crazy. Man, it is that is what it is. We don't want to we don't want to talk about that shit too long, man. But welcome back to Facts and Foolishness. I'm your host, Tyler Coleman. This is my co-hore host Ashton Carter. Um, yeah, man, it's been a been a fun week. We got a lot of shit coming up. You know, the pod has been doing great, so I do want to take a second just to say thank you for everybody that's been supporting us, everybody that's been shouting us out, everybody that's been liking, commenting, subscribing on YouTube. Um, as you all know, it is available on all major platforms. So you have no excuse to check us out. There's no excuse whether you got an iPhone, Android, or whatever, man. Go check us out. I promise you're not gonna be disappointed. Hit me up, like, yo, what can I find? I might just go to YouTube. Yeah, and literally just search facts and foolishness, man. But I do have some kind of crazy topics, man, that um that I want to talk about today, man. Um, one of the topics that I want to talk about is shit that you can't make up. Meaning, shit that you just can't make up, shit that happens in your everyday life, and you be like, bro, you can't make this shit up. It should definitely happen to everybody that looks at this. Everybody that looks at this. I know all of y'all got a situation where it's like, bruh, you can't make this shit up. I got two of them. I know my man's over here, he got two of them too. I wanna go ahead and get it started, bruh. Uh, and it's kind of like embarrassing slash you know, funny. But the first one I want to talk about, I was actually young, bro. Like, I used to uh, you know, when you were in school, you could get your community service hours and shit like that. Not because you was in trouble, but if you wanted to graduate with certain extra credit extra credit, shit like that, you could get community service hours. So I actually volunteered at this camp. It was a summer camp. And um was it in Space Bay? No, it was at River Bend. It was like somewhere off of Route 3, I forget where it was. I think it was like at a like a community center, some shit like that. But um, I was there, you know, working with the kids, and I actually ended up coming across this girl there at the time. Like she's my ex now, but that's where I met her at. And the crazy shit with that story is I'm her name, nigga. I'm not putting a name out there. No, I ain't gonna I ain't putting the name out there because I hey she might see this, who knows? But um, but the crazy shit is I'm sitting there, and I should be watching the kids and playing around. I was a kid myself, first of all, but um, I think I was a freshman in in high school, maybe. Um, yeah, I was a freshman in high school, I think. And um, you grown at that point, yeah. So anyway, look, she was a freshman in school too, and um, that's where I met her at. And uh, I'm sitting there talking to her, I'm chopping it up with the girl. Mind you, there's kids out playing, you know, kickball, they playing tennis little shit inside the gymnasium. Right. And while I'm sitting there talking to the joint, bro, I get smacked in the face with one of them rubber kickballs, bro. Like, I'm talking to her, I'm literally right while you was talking to her in her face. I'm talking to her. I'm spinning. Yeah, I'm spitting game to her, bro. Like, yeah, I'm I'm literally in the process of trying to book her. And you know what I'm saying? Cause she was there watching her her little sisters, and um, and this this dude kicks the ball, bro. Little freckle-faced motherfucker, bro. And he kicked the kickball. And you know that rubber kickball is damn near 22 in the right hands. Nah, that bitch smacked. That motherfucker smacked smack. So look, that bitch smacked me in the face, and I'm sitting there trying to play it cool. I'm playing it cool. Like, she was and she asked me. This is where I knew I should have knew that I fucked up. But she asked me, she was like, Are you okay? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Look, I'm playing it cool. Look at face stinging like a motherfucker, bro. But I'm sitting there trying to play it cool, like, nah, like I'm good. Like, why you say that? She was like, You should probably go look at your face. Well, it was swollen, bruh. The whole left side of my face was swelled the fuck up. I was almost shut quote. That bitch smack like a 22 nigga. That nigga hit that bitch at the perfect angle. I swear to god, look, and I look over look, little freckle-faced motherfucker just laughing, look pointing at me, laughing in my face. I was so mad, but these are these are little kids, you know what I'm saying? These is actually little kids, bro. So you can't do nothing, and I'm just sitting there, you know what I'm saying? And right when you spin game, I'm spitting game. Look, and I got smacked with a kickball to the face, nigga. And I'm thinking it's stung, but I don't swell a bruise and shit like that. So I'm thinking, man, it is what it is. That bitch hit me with it. You should probably go. Look, she seen that she saw it. Nigga, I ain't never got hit and instantly swelled up while I'm talking to her. The whole bro, the whole left side of my face was swelled up, bro. Like, and you just genuinely cannot make that shit up, bro. Like, that shit couldn't have happened at a worse fucking time. Like, in the middle of me talking to her, bro, I got smacked. Nigga trying to go hard up. Look, I'm trying to act like it ain't hurt, nigga. I'm telling you, that bitch. Bro, I had never in my life been in a situation where like I'm literally talking. I'm trying to play cool and shit. I'm you know what I'm saying. I'm spitting game to her. Man, smack right in the motherfucking face, bro. You can't make that shit up, bro. Yeah, can't make it up, but uh you know, I don't want to I don't wanna waste too much time on that, man. Go ahead, you give me one, give me one of your shit you can't make up moments, man. Man, what you got? Come on. Man, I was thinking about uh that one time we went to the game, man. That one time we went to the game, man. The lady, the lady came up to us, she was like, uh, can you take pictures with our with my son? Oh no, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm taking some pictures. She was like, I need some pictures with the team. Can you can you take some pictures with the son? Facts, and we were sitting there taking pictures with him. Bro, that was it was funny. She thought we was part of the team, yes, bro. Like that shit was funny, weird, and uncomfortable. She thought we was part of the wizards team, bro. All at the same time, bro. Like, we got and you gotta give a little backstory too. So, you know, like just so everybody knows, you know what I'm saying? Like, we we be having floor seats and shit at the games and shit. So I always take my man's with me. And uh, we sitting at the game, it was after the game, and you know what I'm saying? We chill and hang out with the players and shit, but the little boy didn't um he was his birthday, yeah. It was his birthday, and we sitting there, we taking pictures on the court and shit, but the players had gone in the back, you know what I'm saying? So she came over to us. It was like, hey, so it's my son's birthday. Do you think could you guys make it a big deal? She definitely thought we played for broken wizards, yes, bro. Hey, look, check out the Instagram page, check out my Instagram page, bro. Like, you can the videos and the photos are also on the club. I was like, Yeah, like, yeah, we right here. Oh yeah, yeah, we were facts. And then what the icing on the cake was the fact the fact look the icing on the cake was that I went and got one of the boys for her to take pictures. I went to go grab champagne for her. You went to the locker room and fucking actually grabbed fucking yeah, bro, just to make his just to make uh to make his birthday, man. Man, this little boy was looking like he was confused, man. His mama was drunk, drunk as hell, bro. The husband already left the husband left her there, and I'm like, oh shit, she do this shit all the fucking time, bro. Man, that was it. I was posing though. She was like, Can you take a picture from my son? Yeah, bro. We took a she thought we was fucking part of C. I'm gonna post that. I'm gonna post the video later. Remember, we was walking back to the car? Don't post the video because she might see that shit, man. Hey man, shout out to that lady and shout out to the little boy, man. She was cool as shit, man. Happy birthday to little Jacob or whatever. Yeah, I think his name was Jacob, actually. Was it really? I think it was Jacob, man. So happy birthday to Jacob, bruh. Happy birthday to Jacob. Facts. And your mom, your mom went out the way for you, man. Yeah, she did. Well, no, I went out the way for his mom. Yeah, she did put her stuff up there. The husband left. Yeah, he was tired of you could tell they did that all the time. Bruh, she was drunk. She was she was, but she she came through for her son, man. So shout out to them, man. Shout out to him. His son was the son was happy too. Also, just to piggyback off of that. This week, this week, guys, we got a lot of content coming, man. We actually gonna be um, we actually gonna be back at the game again on Wednesday. So a lot of content coming soon, man. A lot of content coming this week, actually. So be on the lookout for all of that. Snapchat, Instagram, and Thursday. We got a meet and greet up with the players. Yep, gotta hang out with the boys. We chose the niggas all the time, but yeah, so but that ain't nothing. Some content for y'all. That ain't nothing, nothing new to us, man. We ain't new to this, we true to this. But um, next topic, just to keep that whole thing going, like shit that you cannot make up, bro. Keep it running. This goes with the game again. This goes, we were at the game. Me and you were at the game again, bro. You remember the night we met Winnie Harlow? Fuck yeah, I remember that. So, just to give y'all a quick backstory, bro. This and like once again, and Winnie Harlow, you're great. Yeah, you're a great person. Amazing, lover to death. Like, we still talk and shit like that all the time. Like, you're you're amazing, love you to death. Um, but you can't make this shit up. So the first time me, bruh, the first time me meeting her, bro. We're sitting at the first of all, we pull up to the game, right? Everything cool, we vibing out, we ready to go to the game, have fun, or whatever. I'm backing into the parking spot, and as I'm backing into a parking spot, the AC unit was hanging low out of the ceiling, and I didn't fucking see it. Back right into it, shatters my whole windshield. I just got to Capital One Arena. So broke the whole I'm pissed. Look, bro, I'm pissed. Look, I move, move spots, look, and it like it didn't like crack it, no, it literally bust the whole back window out. So fast forward, right? I will, you know, I'm mad, but we go to the game, we having fun and shit, turning up. We also hung out with Vince Carter that night, too. Oh god. So we was hanging with Vince Carter. I got a picture of that. Every everything was cool, we chilling, you know what I'm saying? So then the night's picking up a little bit. Well, lo and behold, we're walking to the back to grab a drink, and we pass Winnie. Well, you know what I'm saying? Me and Winnie, we we we all start, you know, hanging out vibing. And that's why I love Winnie, because she's so approachable. Yeah, bro. Like she's and she's fun, bro. Like, she don't never act like she's too good. She is an amazing fucking person. You know, she's from what is she from Maryland, DC? Bro, I don't I don't know where she's from. She's from like DC. She's like, Well, actually, she's from like I think Jamaica is where she's from. But then she moved, but I don't know exactly where she's where she's from. But anyway, she's approachable, bro. Super approachable. But I'm sitting there, like, we start chopping it up with her. You know, we get pictures with her, we get videos with her. Everything was everything was chill, like it was just a vibe. Like, we start hanging out. Let's say you know, like she jumping in my snaps and all type of shit. Like, that's how I met her. Fast forward, we're leaving the fucking game, right? Mind you, we left on a high note. The the like it started fucked up, but the night ended great. Like, you know what I'm saying? We was chilling with Vince Carter and then hanging out with with Winnie and Coos. Yeah, taking drinks and shit with Winnie and her friend, and hanging out with with Kuzma and shit, too. So as we're leaving, mind you, remember the window of my car is busted the fuck out. I'm in my I'm in my Jeep at the time. I'm in my Jeep. Winnie and Kuz, they're in a silver Maybach truck. Silver Maybach truck. That's what they drive to the game. As we're leaving out of the fucking tunnel, we leave out of the tunnel. That same silver Maybach truck right behind us. And broken fucking windows. With the busted out wind shit. Mind you, we had just had a full-blown hangout session with these motherfuckers. She thought we was niggas for real, yeah. Yeah, but like she bruh. That was a lot. Cool was like, look, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool like, yo, you really take a picture with this nigga riding around DC with a broken fucking wind jump. Bro, I felt so fucking crazy, bro. Like, and that whole and in that whole moment, I don't, you know what I'm saying? It's hard because I don't really explain that shit. Yeah, I don't get embarrassed. I was with you. I was like, nigga, chase these niggas. I was like, follow these motherfuckers. No, not even follow. They were behind us. I know, and then they got around. I was like, look, we're gonna follow it. So imagine hanging out with with you know celebrities, having a blast with them, turning up all of that shit. And as you're leaving, they pulled directly behind you, and you got a whole busted out, and it was cold that night. It was cold that night, bruh, and we had the whole back windshield busted out. You didn't even give a fuck. And you know, look, and I was turned until I saw these niggas pull directly behind us. I'm like, you know, chasing nigga. Look, you know, cool. Look, you know coos was in the car. So this is the nigga you was hanging out with with his busted ass fucking windshield. This is the nigga you took a picture with hanging out with you. You busted this snap. This nigga got a busted windshield. I'm driving around in a 350,000 Maybat. No, and you worried about a nigga that got a fucking broke back windshield, bruh. I was I felt so crazy, bro. But once again, man, shout out to Winnie Harlow. That's my girl. She a real one, man. She a real one. We can Kyle Kuzman a real one too, yeah. Man, and you know what I'm saying. That them my guys, man. So you know what I'm saying? Kyle, you know what I'm saying? Fuck with Kyle Heavy, but Winnie, that's my girl, man. I love her to fuck with her. Winnie a real one, bro. She a win, she a real one. I can hit her up. Real, yeah, bro. Hit her up whenever, man. But um Winnie, real. But that moment was just crazy, bruh. Like that shit made you really want to like at that moment. I was like, bruh, if I could just disappear, I wanted to just disappear, bruh. But which is crazy. Like, if you wanted to disappear, like kind of takes me to like the next topic that I actually wanted to talk about, bro. Which is crazy. But if you could pick one, one superpower, what the fuck would it be? Any superpower, you could be you could pick any superpower you wanted to. And that's not my topic, by the way. I was just saying, like, in that moment, I would like to it would have been able to just slap my fingers, disappear. And why? I always wanted it, nigga. Teleportation, nigga.

unknown 15:44

I can see.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

I want to teleport. I wanna I wanna disappear on a bitch. I wanna disappear on a bitch, nigga. Mother get the lay. Okay, go ahead, go ahead. That mother get the bumping the mother gun like you remember that meme where the nigga used to throw up, chuck the deuces up and disappear. Shh. No, that's my shit anyways, but like and that's the only reason because you wanna disappear on the bitch, or yeah, I'm gonna disappear on the bitch. That's it. So you can pick any superpower, that's your superpower because you want to. No, obviously not, but I want to be able to I if you if I got two, yeah, fly, like flying and teleportation, nigga. Now what would you with the teleportation, what would you, what would you do with it? I will disappear on a bitch, nigga. Now outside of that, bro. Like outside of that, what would you what would you do with it? Nah, bro, for real. Teleportation, bro, is so convenient for anything. I know, but like would you use it for good, evil? What would you I probably look into a bank? I'm not a criminal, nigga. I'm not a criminal. So I probably would do it for good, but I will make it worth my while. I'll get paid off it. I ain't gonna I ain't gonna I ain't gonna do the case. I ain't gonna do the cliche shit and uh and break it to a bank and do that shit. I'm gonna break it to a bank, but you ain't gonna know that. Exactly. Nah, seriously though, like nigga, I'm gonna make it to my youth. You feel me? Facts. I'm gonna give you like what about you? If I had to pick, I would go with super strength. Super strength? I'm gonna go with super strength, bruh. Because I want that, man. But see, you already know, like I, you know what I'm saying? I'm from the backwoods, so nigga strong already anyway, nigga. See, that nigga be at the at the farm moving thing. Oh man, you already know and you already know, nigga. Backwoods raise me cuz nigga living trackers. But I think like but for real. I think if I if I had super strength, bro, I would definitely use it to my benefit. That's why I'm actually glad that you said that. I'm saying, like, so if I happen to be walking somewhere, just a crazy, crazy example. Shit won't ever happen. And your car, like John, you remember in the movie Hancock? Yeah, you remember when the car stopped, got stalled out on the train tracks. I use it for shit like that, but it's like, all right, so you know you're going to have to happen, you're gonna have to give me like a thousand dollars for me to do that. When does that ever happen? You gotta go to the country to get some money because you go out to the city, nigga, they got fucking shit to do this shit. But see, think about it, they got shit to do it, but in a moment like that, yeah, you stuck in the moment, bro. You ain't got you can't call somebody to come get you. The train is coming, and I happen to be walking by. Nigga, write me, cash at me a thousand dollars right now, or your car gone. That's only gonna happen one time. You don't know that, bro. You don't know that. You can it's on YouTube. There's a lot of shit on YouTube. Nah, it ain't in Fresh's bird, but it could happen anywhere. That's just a random. That's a random, you know what I'm saying? But nah, I'll be thinking about when I got hard work to do, like digging a ditch or something, digging this, doing this. Super strength would be coming in handy. I feel like super strength is more would be more than what about me, nigga? I got teleportation, nigga. I can teleport to California and come up in two seconds. Now, would you let would you let people know that you had teleportation? Or would you keep it in secret? I'll keep it secret because it'll get too blown up. Just like my whole life. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Well, they probably'll figure it out. But that's the only way for you to monetize off of that. People would have to know though. No, look, a nigga be like, look, not niggas. I would say the fucking towing business. They gotta go to North Carolina and get a car. Rick said, Rick said right there. But look, if they gotta go get a car though, you can teleport. That don't mean that the truck can teleport though. No, nigga. Anybody who teleports, whatever they touch, can teleport if it's not too big. So you wanna so not just you, the shit that you touch, you can bring shit with you. Nigga, yes, nigga, that's how it go in the teleport world, nigga. Nigga, how do you know how it go in the teleport world? Teleportation ain't even fucking real. Because I'll I'm X-Men, nigga. Because what? I watch X-Men, nigga, I know how it go. Which one of them bitches teleport? Nightcrawler, nigga. Nightcrawler? Fuck yeah. I don't, I ain't too familiar with X-Men. I know you're not, nigga. So my business. I ain't an X-Men. So you know what the fuck you talking about. See, first of all, all this shit is my business. Everything is a big thing. Nigga, Nightcrawler, but you know, one thing about Nightcrawler, he can't teleport through a wall. He can, but he can't. Because he might get in the wall. That's a nigga with the that's like a he might get caught in between. He's like a reptile or some shit. He's not a reptile. He's he's I mean, he has a fucking devil tail and shit. But didn't he die? No, fuck no, nigga. He's the fucking best character. But he can only teleport if he can see what he's doing. He said he can't tell, but he's done it before. So like you said, you don't can't teleport through a wall because he might be he might teleport and be in the wall. Yeah. He might teleport and be in the wall, you know. So when you said earlier that you would teleport to California, you couldn't really do it because you can't see California from right here. Well, that's him. You know they got movies. You ever seen jumpers, nigga? That nigga was teleporting to Egypt, nigga. Oh man, that actually I might have to I might have to re rethink mine, man. That is crazy. Teleporting in banks and Samuel Jackson came and fucked him up. You can you imagine waking up? No person should have no power like this. The only person that'll say that is a nigga. Can you imagine waking up in the morning and be like, uh, I want to take a vacation? That's what I wanna I wanna go to Madrid. I wanna go to Madrid. That's all he was doing. Snap his fingers, he there. That's all he was doing, man. That's kind of a couple and banks, nigga taking all their money. That's crazy. Nigga popped up on Samuel Let. He said, No man should have no power. I remember that move, but that's an old ass movie, though. They need to make a part two of that shit. I thought they made like a second version of it or something.

unknown 22:17

Nope.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

I can't remember, man, but nope. Anyways, man, look, shout out to Faction Foolishness once again, bro. I want to give a special thank you to every single follower, the subscribers, the people that listen to you know the pod. They stream it, whether it's on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Appreciate y'all. Man, we really appreciate it. Appreciate y'all. Exactly. Bro, we've been getting so much love in the area, which is what we wanted to do. Appreciate that. Like we kind of wanted to, you know, take over the area. And we haven't even started the interviews yet. So we are definitely big shit coming for y'all. A lot of big shit coming, bro. Like, we're going to have a lot of you know interview, interviews of uh different business owners, influential people in the area coming very soon. So tap in, man. Tell it. Don't miss it. Tell us y'all's story, man. Y'all might be on this motherfucker. Exactly. And we wanna we wanna make this interactive too. So once it, you know, once it grows, we're gonna take topics and stuff from from the viewers, you know what I'm saying? Things that you guys want us to talk about on the pod. We're definitely gonna do that. But once again, man, thank you to everybody that tunes in, that taps in with us, that likes, subscribes, comments, all of that good shit. Appreciate y'all. Facts and foolishness. Also, we gotta give them a new date. We're gonna be uploading all new videos and pods on Thursdays at 3 o'clock versus Friday at 3 o'clock. So we're just switching the day. We're gonna give it to you a little bit earlier. But once again, shout out to all of you all. We love y'all. Um, but yeah, man, facts and foolishness. More videos coming soon. Tap in. Man, I actually think.