Facts & Foolishness
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Facts & Foolishness
"Dad Shit"
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Two fathers sit down for an unfiltered conversation about the realities of being dads and husbands — the good, the bad, and the ugly. From parenting wins and relationship struggles to sleepless nights, family chaos, and the pressure of trying to hold it all together, nothing is off limits. Honest, funny, raw, and relatable, this is real talk about “dad shit” and the everyday challenges of balancing fatherhood, marriage, and life.
Ready? Yes, sir. Alright. What's up, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to Facts and Foolishness. I'm your host, Tyler Coleman, and we are here with a very special guest, my boy Jeremy. We're here to kick off the new segment of the podcast called Dad Shit. Basically, what dad shit is about is literally that. It's dad shit. You know what I'm saying? I feel like a lot of fathers go through a lot of shit that um doesn't get recognized. You know what I'm saying? I feel like we don't really get recognized like that. So I kind of wanted to have a space where we could just go, you know, and talk about dad shit, man. So um go ahead and get yourself a little introduction, man. See you, see you.
SPEAKER_01Hey, how you doing how y'all going? How y'all doing? No, great. Feels great to be here, man. Uh like you talking. My name is Jeremy. You know, nice to meet y'all. Glad to be here.
SPEAKER_04Yes, sir. Yes, sir, man. And I know um uh for the people that don't know, I know a lot of y'all won't. This is my boy, man. We used to work together at Mary Washington crazy times. Some of the uh some of the best times ever, man. Like uh as long as when we were sober at least, you know. I don't know what was more fun while we were sober, while we were drunk, but uh this is my boy Jeremy nonetheless, man. And he's one of the greatest dads I know. Um yeah, man. You know, I gotta get you. I give a credit where it's due, man. You also are doing the um you're uh coaching little league, too, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coach my daughter too.
SPEAKER_04Tell me a little bit about that, man. How's that?
SPEAKER_01Uh that's actually pretty dope, bro. I'm not gonna cap. Um, so yeah, I've been coaching my daughter uh since uh she was four. Okay. Um she's been in flag football. Okay. Um, as you know, you know, that's been kind of picking up for girls, especially especially uh in the south. So hopefully Virginia gets on board with it. Um yeah, nah, it was a pleasant surprise. I ain't gonna cap. Uh we put her out there just because you know we knew the uh commissioner there like family, coach with her son. Um, and uh yeah, she took off and yeah, I've been there since. So, yeah, coached from 3-6 division. She's now in the 7-8. That's what's up, man. Yeah, quite literally, she is one of the best defenders in the whole league. Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so she got a she got a great coach, man.
SPEAKER_01Hey, man, let's go ahead, so they'll be trying.
SPEAKER_04You know what I'm saying? That's all that matters, bro.
SPEAKER_01Baby trying, but yeah, no, it's it's fun. Yes, man. It's fun, it's definitely fun.
SPEAKER_04Let's jump right into it, man. Let's get right into these. Uh, because I got a couple topics I want to discuss, man, for you know, dad shit, if you will. And um let's start with what's the most what would what would you say is the most annoying part of being a dad? You know, it comes with the title. All of this comes with the title, but what what's your most annoying part?
SPEAKER_01Uh I would say being the dad is the annoying part. It's not just one thing, bro. Like, it's so many things. For sure, for sure. Everything about being a dad, let me just preface this, you feel me, before I get murdered by my own wife. Yeah, I was gonna say, don't get cussed out by what I'm saying. You know, uh you know, happy life at home is always the key. But no, on a serious note, it's it's a double-edged sword for dads. You feel me? It's sure it's some things that are annoying, but at the same time, they give us, they pump us up at the same time. You give me like, you feel me, having to be the disciplinarian, for example. Of course. You feel me? We hate it. Like, uh there's not a dad around that likes to have to be the same. And no, not one. Like, you feel me?
SPEAKER_04Like, we're all big kids and you feel like you have to tap in sometimes when they be walking all over the wife. Bro, like she had to tag team you in there, and now I have to be the bad guy.
SPEAKER_01See, so not me. See, look, so actually, no, let me let me tell you, let me stop that. Look, I do come into a rescue sometimes, but like for the most part, bro, like I I do kind of just let her, I let her fight her battles. It's not it's seeing there's nothing wrong with that. Because only because she makes me be the disciplinarian so much. So it's like, and it's not like it's an unhealthy balance, I prefer it that way because I feel like, and you know, hey, traditional family stuff, whatever. For sure, for sure. I feel like the mom should be that. Yeah, you get me? Of course.
SPEAKER_04Like everybody, when I was a kid, everybody you're a girl dad, though, right?
SPEAKER_01No, no, no. So I got my daughter. Well, um, I got my daughter, and then I got my son. Okay. So I got you. Um, I got two boys, they no limit soldiers.
SPEAKER_04So you know what I'm saying? They be walking all over the wife sometimes.
SPEAKER_01Man, my daughter is nah. She be running the house. It's it's hard to put into words. For sure, for sure. Like, you gotta watch, you gotta see her in action and then be like, oh, shorty's turn.
SPEAKER_04See, I wouldn't be I wouldn't be worth a damn as a as a girl dad, man. Like, we wanted um obviously you would love to have one boy, one girl, you know what I'm saying? We really wanted a daughter, but you know, God blessed us with two sons, which is amazing. Yeah, but uh, I don't think I would have been worth a damn as a girl dad. She would have a way, bro.
SPEAKER_01Uh so look, it's so a lot of a lot of the my inner circle, they think I'm tough on her. They do. And you feel me, even my wife will say I'm tough on it. But when nobody's looking, yeah, I'm absolutely enabling. Of course. Yeah, of course. And and you feel me, I try to give, I try to give some some bad, you know, like it's your fault. You be you be soft, you be letting them do what they want to do, but whole time, like you just yelled at her. And when she came downstairs, I was like, Shorty, why are you doing all that?
SPEAKER_04Exactly. I feel that. Don't get a pops up. I just know I just know I wouldn't be worth a damn, bro. Like, if I was a girl dad. Now, with my boys, like, you know, I have to prepare them for the world, you know. At the end of the day, when you have two sons, two black sons, as at that, you know, you have to prepare them for the world. So you have to be, you know, but I also balance that out with love too. I'm not just a, you know, just an asshole, just strict ass dad. Uh that's not me at all. I'm a fun dad, but you know, I do have to be tough on them. Even when I want to kind of baby them at times, I can't do that. Yep. You know what I'm saying? Because the world ain't gonna, the world's not gonna be soft on your kids.
SPEAKER_01We know what that's gonna turn into.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. And yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_01So I'm the same way with myself.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. And you see the way that this shit is going for men in society now, too. So I don't, you know, I gotta, I gotta be a little tough on my on my boys, but if I if I did have a daughter, but that's not happening, I'm done. I'm I'm done, done. You know what I'm saying? Hey, today's timely on blame. Hey man, but you know, with the gas prices too, man. Shit, bro, I wouldn't be worth a damn, bro. But two bags of Doritos and one fifty dollars up a day. And since we and since we talking about um, since we talking about like disciplinary, man, like are you, you know, are you a uh that's man are you are you a belt to ass parent or are you a gentle parent type of type of guy?
SPEAKER_01So I I was raised southern as hell. You know, my dad from Alabama, my mama from Tennessee. For sure. Um me, I try to be in the middle. I do. But like I said, it's the natural rules happen at home, and I I become the primary disciplinary. For sure. Um I absolutely don't believe that you should you can't whoop your kid. Yes, you can whoop your kid. For sure. You feel me? Like that's why we got all these goddamn Y's running around here. Exactly, because it's no discipline. Cussing out adults and shit because they're they're not scared of nothing. There's no respect, bro. Um, and there's nothing wrong with disciplining your child. You feel me? I think what happened in the 90s, early 2000s was everybody got that line blurred with discipline and abuse. Of course, of course, and that scared people away from discipline.
SPEAKER_04And then everything became abuse. Exactly. Everything became abuse. Exactly. And I I kind of I have to piggyback off of that, man, because I see both sides, right? Yep. Every kid don't need an ass whooping. Nope. Some kids, like one of my sons, you know what I'm saying? I can tell him, you know, a stern talking to, he upset. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? He don't need to get his ass whooped, but at the same time, that shit don't work for every kid. Some kids like to test you, some kids want to, you know, push the limit on a lot of shit too, bruh. And you can't, you can't do that because society, especially the way shit's going today, you going to jail or you're gonna be dead. Yeah. So I I I definitely believe that uh, you know, being a strong disciplinary is a you know, it's needed, but at the same time, you don't have to, you don't have to whoop your kid, you know, nah, if it's not necessary.
SPEAKER_01Everything don't require whooping. Uh, I'm big on using a stern voice. Yeah. You feel me? I'll I'll yell eight times with eight times out of ten before I'm I'm trying to whoop you. Exactly. You feel me? And you know, my wife may be like, hey, you know, talk a little softer, da da da da da. And it's like, all right, yeah, I get it, but that's what you're here for. Yeah. And you know, like I said, what's what's for my what works for our house don't work for everybody else's house. So I get it. You feel me? Some people probably be like, oh, well, you need to just calm down. No, I don't need to calm down, you know, because you feel me. I don't want my daughter out here wilding. I don't want my son out here wilding, especially my son. Um, and you know, that's a whole nother topic of raising black kids. So you feel me? We have to be, especially black fathers, we have to be a little bit more of a disciplinary. We have to show a lot more of a controlled side. Yeah. And then luckily in today's times, we have a lot more leeway to, like you said, also have that love side, also have that disciplinarian side. So it's like, nah, my d my pops love me, but nah, he don't fuck with me.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so of course. So I know I can't just go and play and do whatever the hell it is I want to do with my pops. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01So exactly.
SPEAKER_04And that's where it's good to have, and why I do realize that a lot of households don't have that for the fact of you know, some kids they don't grow up with both parents in the household, so they don't get that strong, you know, father figure that they need, you know what I'm saying? So that's why it's blessed to have, you know, a two-parent household where it's balanced, you know what I'm saying? So my wife is more so the soft-spoken, the, you know what I'm saying, the she's the nurturer. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I know I have to be the bad guy. I don't want to be the bad guy all the time, bro. No, sometimes I don't want to be the bad guy, but if you, you know what I'm saying, you throw fucking Legos at your mom's head because you know you can get away with it.
SPEAKER_01Screaming at the top of your lungs, yeah.
SPEAKER_03First of all, she gonna she'll look at me to help her. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00She's just gonna let him do his thing.
SPEAKER_04So he didn't do it to me. You know what I'm saying? He didn't do the shit to me, so I'm I'm cool. But now, uh well, now like Kevin Hart said, now I gotta fuck you up. See, you know, your mom said I gotta come in here and fuck you up.
SPEAKER_01Now I gotta tell you.
SPEAKER_04Exactly, man. So I mean, it's definitely levels to that, you know what I'm saying? And it is good to have, you know, it's kind of like fire and ice in a in a household, you know what I'm saying? That's why it gotta bring balance, and that's why there's so many YNs running around now because they don't have that, they lack a father figure or whatever the case may be. So, you know, it is good. And I know my kids, one day they're gonna realize that they're blessed to have both of their parents under the same roof, you know what I'm saying? But with that being said, you know, talking about the dad shit of it, man, like what is what's something that you feel that the opposite sex understood more about fathers? Like, what do you what do you think that you know, of course they're gonna say, Look, of course, I understand, blah, blah, blah, but what is something that you think, you know, should be more understood from a mother or from a female perspective? And it doesn't have to just be kid related neither.
SPEAKER_01Like, what is something that we go through as men or fathers that you for me a major thing um is the trying to cut off the the sternness of fathers and the the emotion, the emotional the emotion. Yeah, I'm trying, you know, I'm trying to put it in the the the the right words, you feel me? Trying to, you feel me, limit how stern we are or how cold we are. Um and this also ties into all fathers, but I do in America at the very least, for black fathers, I think it it amplifies. For sure. Um, and I say that in the sense of, for example, we don't have the freedom to allow our sons to have a normal temper tantrum. You get me? Like you see a you see a white kid over there, you know, fully white kid, or you see even an Asian kid, you know, Spanish kids, whatever. Let every race do what they want to do, that's fine. Um, but for black kids, we can't, we really can't let our kids just start falling out and and screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs. Because as soon as we do that, that child is looked at as neglected, uh, lack of discipline, and then as they get older, they're looked at as dangerous, etc. etc. Of course. Um, and I think us as fathers, we see that because black women, yes, black women have their things, but as far as the threats of the world, black men are looked at as a threat. Of course. So when we become fathers, we try to look for the triggers and the things that we can nip in the butt so that our sons and our kids aren't looked at as those threats. For sure. So I don't think that sometimes women think that, oh, he's being cold, he's not letting him have his emotions, this, that, and the third, because he's just that map, that toxic masculinity. And sometimes, especially for me, it's not that. Yeah, it's just the fact of I know when my son's 13, he can't have this kind of fit. Because if he does, they're gonna look at him as a danger to the students. They're gonna look at him as oh, just another unruly black kid, uh, his pops probably doesn't even care. Da-da-da-da-da. Like, and that's another thing that I don't like these days is the stereotype of oh, the black dads are just letting these kids do what they want, da da da. And honestly, I don't think it's that. I think it's a lot of a lot of these black dads are a lot more present these days, of course, but a lot of them didn't have the best example, so they're learning.
SPEAKER_04Of course.
SPEAKER_01You feel me? Myself, you feel me? Uh I I was blessed. So I had I had a good I had a good example. Me too. You feel me? So you we get that, but uh fellow brothers are still learning that, fellow other fathers are still learning that. Of course. Um, but one thing we do know is that as a man, you cannot be out here tripping. You have like as mad as I want to be at home, cool, whatever. Like rage, cool, rage control. But out in public, you gotta you gotta check it, bro. You gotta check it out. Let's check the black man. Like, we gotta be 10 times better.
SPEAKER_04We gotta be 10 times better just to get in the room. You feel me?
SPEAKER_01So yeah, so that that's one thing I think is is really misconstrued about dads. It's not that we don't we lack the emotion because you'd be surprised how many dads sit on a porch, you feel me, uh, at night, not crying necessarily. Some might cry, you feel me? That's fine if they do, but you feel me sitting on a porch or sitting on their deck and just like just decompressing. Of course. Because they just all day like, bro. I've been like all day, I've been the bad guy out in the world. I come home, I gotta be the bad guy. Exactly. But I'm so but I'm being the Batman type of bad guy. I'm the bad guy because you need me to be the bad guy for the good things to happen. You get me? So it that's one of that's one of those things I think you feel me, as as women, sometimes it's just it's not toxic masculinity, it's just we're we're raising our kids in our in our in our in our spectrum. Exactly. You feel me? There's two spectrums of parenting, mother and a father. I'm gonna raise in my spectrum, you raise in your spectrum. I won't question yours. Yeah, it might annoy me, but I won't question it. I got you. You feel me? Like you give me, like you baby and my boy, da da da, like stop that. But exactly. All right, cool, whatever. In reality, I might say something, but I'm not gonna, I'm not really gonna stop it. You feel me? Because I understand that's something he needs. You feel me? But at the same time, I just ask that when you see me on on his ass or on my daughter's ass. Because I don't want no, you I don't want no little loose ass little girl out here.
SPEAKER_04It's coming from a place of love, man. Like, and it kind of goes hand in hand with what you know what I was gonna say as far as like one of those things that I wish they understood more of. And that's kind of like we get tired too, you know what I'm saying? But we can't show that shit. Like a moment, you know what I'm saying? Like, sometimes I might come home for work and I sit in the I sit in the in the in the driveway for 10 minutes before I come in the house. You know what I'm saying? Like, we get tired too, and I know as as the the man of the house, you know, being the the father, being the husband, we gotta basically have our Superman suit on 24-7. You know what I'm saying? So you don't wanna you don't wanna seem weak, you don't want to seem, you know, that the world is getting to you, but at the end of the day, the world does get to us. You know what I'm saying? We're in a constant, a constant battle. And this is for, and we're not just talking about black fathers, we're talking about fathers in general. There is dad shit, that's literally the title of this shit, is dad shit that we go through that you know that they may not understand because we don't let them see that. And when they don't see that, they don't see a problem. But there is a, and I don't want to call it a problem, it's just the weight of the world. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? So it's not necessarily a problem because it comes with the title. You know what I'm saying? That comes with the title, but we don't want to come home and talk to you about XYZ that's going on because now we don't want to worry you with shit that we're going through.
SPEAKER_01That's so that's a key point right there.
SPEAKER_04So we we keep that shit locked in. Oh, I think. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01Oh, I case that one, bro.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and it's and it's like we do that out of respect for you, though. You know what I'm saying? Not out of just I don't maybe respect is the wrong word, but we do that out of love for dicks.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we don't want you to be because I don't like seeing you stressing over bigs. I don't like seeing you stressing over big. Exactly. Like, yes, these things are bothering me. Yes, I know I can come to you. You feel me? Like, because that's another thing to tell me, ladies. Don't want to say that we're y'all aren't giving us safe space. Um you feel me, because that's one of the things my wife's a big one too. Um so I do gotta give her credit to when it's where it's due. Um we definitely have our our moments where we're just like goddamn.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, you feel me? Bill after bill, fuck. Okay, fucking cars, tires go start going down. Toilet's clogged. Toilet's fucking clogged. Fuck, I done use the snake, I didn't use fucking plungers, nothing's working. Shit. It means I gotta call a fucking plumber. Exactly. Oh, god damn it, fucking wiring that went fucking bad down here. Like, oh my god. Yeah. Like these are all things that that are constantly kind of going through, you feel me, a man's head, at least a good dude, you feel me, who has his priorities right. And that's why they're stressed, because it's like you don't want to start just laying that on to you. Exactly. Because at that point, then it's like, now I'm watching you be stressed about things that I'm supposed to handle. Exactly. You feel me? Like, I don't want, I don't want that. And it's like, it's kind of like if you want your cake and eat it too. Because I'm gonna say, right now, it's kind of a self-inflicted wound for me. Of course. You feel me? Because we we want to say it.
SPEAKER_04Exactly.
SPEAKER_01But at the same time, we know if we say it, we're gonna see you stressed and we don't want to see you stressed. Yep. So it's kind of like that how we get annoyed with women like, well, what do you want to eat? I don't know. Fucking damn. Like you feel me? So we have our own shit, too. Of course, bro. You get me? So and that's all it is, honestly. And for me, like I said, it that that's definitely a big one, is you feel me. When I do get tired, I I gotta give my shorty her credit there. You feel me? She she picks up on my signs. Like, if I'm fucked up financially, I'm not smiling really, I'm not, I'm not giggling. Exactly. You feel me? So you feel me? Uh it's that's where the nurturing part of women comes in. You feel me? Because men, we all like the fuck up. Yeah, you feel me?
SPEAKER_04Like, you can't call your boys. Like, you call me and say, Man, I'm just going through it mentally. We're gonna laugh as this nigga going through it mentally.
SPEAKER_01Like, you feel me, like nigga, how about game and shut up, bro? Come shoot some shit. For sure, bro. Like, you feel me? We all going through it. Like, exactly, like exactly, man. Nah, I I think it's definitely a uh a little bit of that.
SPEAKER_04Of course, man. Of course, man. But look, real quick, we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna have uh, you know, enjoy a word from our sponsors, and we'll be right back.
SPEAKER_02All right, there we go, here we go.
SPEAKER_04All right, ladies and gentlemen, we are back. Uh, quick surprise, we don't have no fucking sponsors. We just said that as a you know, a quick little filler to take a quick break. But um, but yeah, man, back to what we were saying, man. You know, I think uh I definitely think that, you know, women need to be more patient and realize that it's not that we're trying to necessarily cut you off or be cold to you when we get home or whatever. It's just like we deal with fighting the world and being the bad guy to the world because there's no there's no love for men in society for real. Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm not gonna say there's no love, but it's definitely colder out there for us because it's some shit you gotta just suck it up, deal with it. You know what I'm saying? You don't wanna come home, you don't want to seem like you're complaining, you don't want to seem weak, you don't want to seem, you know, just gruntled, you know, on the job or whatever the case may be. It's just society beats us up every single day. And then when we come home, we have to compartmentalize a lot of this shit so it doesn't spill out into you know us being dads, us being husbands, and shit like that, man. Like, you know, and I I think that that's just one of those things that women would, you know, could do a little bit better job of understanding. Even, you know, of course they say, like, yeah, man, you know, of course we understand. We want you to talk to us about, but at the same time, some dudes might come and try to talk to their shorty about it, and they get looked at as weak. Yeah, they'd be like, Oh, look, this nigga crying about some shit. You know what I'm saying? You may not say that, yeah, you know, and I'm not saying, you know, I know my wife's not like that, but a lot of guys can't come home and have those conversations. You know what I'm saying? So I think it kind of goes hand in hand with what.
SPEAKER_01you were saying bruh like you know it's like when being stern on your children like you need to let me be stern on my children at times because the world's not going to be kind to them they have to make their you know they have to make their mark in the world in society especially you know what your son you know like son right I feel like raising sons and daughters are completely different yeah I don't you know you can attest to that like I can't necessarily say that because you know I have two boys I you know I didn't get a daughter oh no it's it is night and day bro yeah like what are some of the the struggles with like what's the difference like you know what I'm saying like so the difference the main difference honestly is at the end of the day I have to be a lot tougher on my son um my daughter she is a ball of energy so um what may come across as me being stern is more so me trying to just calm her down because I was like I didn't get myself um but whereas my son I'm not really I don't really give him that leeway um to to go outside that box you get me um I need you like yes you're young you feel me sometimes you know I'm gonna talk to you when your mother's not around when your sister's not around because I don't want them to interject and you feel me take away from where I'm trying to take it of course at that point you get me of course um and you know I'll tell him flat out you know you don't have the space to do that same as my parents of course um like I said my parents are both my parents like almost 70 so you know they went through a lot of civil rights stuff so I got those lessons of you're a black kid you gotta do this that etc etc so I try to instill that into my son now as well as my daughter um so it's more so of a not that I'm trying to exclude you from this this this this avenue of parenting it's just these are things that I need to instill into them. You may not like how that looks but when they turn into adults these things will turn into something that you do like exactly you feel me so right now yeah I'm I'm putting a little a little larva into it nobody likes the look of a larva's caterpillar or some shit. You feel me when they're teenagers it turns into a little hard ass like my son says he calls it a chrysalic. Yep you know turns into the cocoon you feel me they're hard they're they're assholes this and the third you feel me we're trying to batter through that and then you get older you feel me turns into something beautiful. Of course you get me of course where it's like you know what I think a lot of kids and a lot of adults who had those hard dads grew up and they were like you know what I appreciate.
SPEAKER_04Of course you feel me at least for me that that's that's what I've seen and that's what I am like as a kid yeah bro like everything we don't understand that as kids bro we don't understand like why is dad being so mean to me but we don't but you know uh my sister doesn't get that same treatment or whatever because it requires two different requires it requires two different types of love you're certain you're raising a warrior yep you know what I'm saying and with a daughter and I and once again I'm not a I'm not a girl dad but I know how I would be so I know I'm raising you know when it comes to my daughter I'd be raising a princess so you're raising a warrior princess yeah like for sure that's how I look at my daughter that's the actually that's actually the best description right that's that's where I like that's how I look at my daughter because like I said people say I'm raising her rough or tough you know she's playing football you're stern on her this that and the third I mean hey call it what you want but exactly you feel me I want my daughter to be one of those black women that you look at them and you're like oh my God like she's elegant she she keeps herself you feel me like I want my daughter to idolize the women like she's beautiful not a bad bitch.
SPEAKER_01You feel me like exactly like I want I I need her to be that kind of tough mindset. Like I want her to see what a proper a proper black man looks like which she has in her life in abundance of that's great. That's a great thing for you feel me like and it's not that I don't want her to you feel me see all of our culture or anything like that but we all know you know we got we got niggas and we got black people. Yep you feel me that's what I always say that man looking for I just want her I just want her to make the right choices to live a prosperous life of course while at the same time ain't no nigga go about to try you. Exactly because they know uh no I ain't gonna get away with no bullshit exactly you feel me and that that's all I want so it it's not that um it's not that I'm raising them differently it's just I'm raising them to the same goal I need both of you to be able to fight the world I need both of you to be able to understand what you are to this world and I need both of you to be able to accomplish what you need in this world with everything that they're gonna throw at you. Yep and that's pretty much it for me. As long as I feel like I've done my part on that spectrum then I'm good. I'm good. Of course man you feel me so I wouldn't say it's necessarily a difference it's uh definitely a softer side to it yeah you know because you know when she's not tripping or when they're not doing it that's when you're just like either way you gotta it's like either way you have to prepare them to fight the world but there it's two different battles.
SPEAKER_04You have to fight the world but it is two different battles two different components your daughter may have to fight she's gonna have to fight the world in a different light than your son that's gonna have to fight the world in a different light.
SPEAKER_01So but I do think I think that's dope man I think it it's amazing to have present fathers you know what I'm saying and that's why that's the whole point of having this segment on my podcast called dad shit to talk about the good bad and the ugly man yeah you know and and with that being said like I know we kind of touched on a lot of different topics like do you think that do you think dads get the credit that we deserve and I mean real dads I don't mean sperm don't I get you I get you know what I'm saying do you think we get that credit so me for instance for for example on that subject I think this generation does um I obviously if you surround yourself with uh with the ones that that have the bad examples or the bad baby dads you feel me stuff like that then you're going to think that women don't give us the credit of course but I feel like I've done a good job of pruning because for myself I don't I don't tolerate a dude who who don't take care of me if you if you can knock a chick up you can get her pregnant you need to be there take care of yours. You need to be there for you feel me and that don't mean you feel me you just talk to them every day nah that means if they need shoes you need to go get get on your good foot and do what you need to do. If they need something you need to be able to provide of course of course and like I said I get dads you know we fall short sometimes too so that's not to say we always gotta be perfect you feel me that's one thing that I think is another another issue with dads we feel like we have to be perfect um but as far as the credit we deserve yeah I would say this generation I think we definitely do.
SPEAKER_04Of course um our fathers I don't think they did get the credit they deserve um I think honestly and even myself I'm guilty of it um I think we have shitted on that generation of fathers a lot because we had our generation of fathers you feel me financially yeah we're going through it you feel me and I feel like financially yes this group of fathers we are going through it a lot rougher than the previous generation yeah um but as far as the emotional portion of it I think our generation of fathers has it a lot easier yeah because whereas you feel me we have talked about you know some women looking at it as a weakness etc etc at least the door has opened to where there are bountiful women and you feel me myself you feel I'm in a relationship where I can real quick that was an amazing word that was a thousand dollar word I thought I was I thought it was a good nah go ahead you feel me I feel like this it it's a it's a good it's a good number that now allow men to have some form of a freedom to where they can say yo like just let me go to the bar and chill you feel me I just need I I need some space yeah you feel me I'm worn down yeah and they they'll leave it there at the very least you feel me previous generations nah you really couldn't like it was shut up and do it yeah you feel me it was a lot rougher they didn't have that emotional freedom to be able to say I'm tired the men back then they had to they provide first of all they were providing everything you know saying at least now in this generation we also have you know women that are working as well you know they're contributing and it's one of those things like and I think that that's one of those things that I do kind of get perturbed with you know like you have some women be like you know I'm not doing it he's supposed to provide he's supposed to do this that and the third but you're holding us to the same standard of back then when you could go fill your car for five dollars you can't do that you know and and you know and it goes both ways so like yeah men may not be solely providing and you know you you women ain't virgins neither you know what I'm saying at least the you know so it goes hand in hand like I think we need to stop pointing the finger and realize whatever works for you and your household is what fucking works for you and your household. Stop pointing what so many people get on the internet and be like oh no I need a man that provides so and this is my thinking right and this is not to say anything you know or to beat up on the women or anything like that. If you have a man right that let's say he wants to go 50-50 let's say you know and that's a huge conversation that always goes on you know with the women on social media and stuff like that. But um if you got a man that's willing to go 50-50 with you that's literally saying you know you're you as a grown woman you're responsible for a hundred percent of your bills and you have a good man that comes along and says look I'm willing to take half of that off of you. Yeah nah I need you to take all of it yeah you're used to taking you're used to having a hundred percent of your own and you have a good and I say a good man because some women might want a dude that provide 100% financially but he might be an asshole. I mean you have a good guy that comes along that's willing to you know be great to you be faithful take care of you or whatever and take 50% of yours. And it's never going to be and that's what I think a lot of people that aren't married don't realize today that it's never 5050. It will never be 5050 so don't think to you think to yourself that I oh you're taking half of it it's gonna be times where that number is not going to be the same. You might have 80% of it he might have 90% of it he may have 60% of it she may have 40% of it it's never people get caught up on that half number and you know yeah I think a lot of it is and it's ironic because you feel me obviously this is going to be on social media.
SPEAKER_01I think the biggest problem is social media it is um 100% because um once again like you said earlier everything isn't for the public exactly what works for my house does not work for your house does not work for their house does not work for their house but social media at this point has made it to where women are looking at these these lavish relationships these these these podcasters um that are you feel me only showing the highlights only showing the glories and and and the victories and everything else um and it's not for me to say you know why don't y'all get up there and show your your your losses too or your failures or your shortcomings because I don't I don't want to do that. Of course um so I get why they do show those things but at the same time you feel me double edged sword yeah where you're always showing this sunshine rainbows or we don't argue and we do argue it's a meaningful conversation da da da da da oh money is this that and the third no bullshit marriage is fucking rough yeah love is rough yep financials in marriage is fucking rough like it it's one of the leading factors of fucking arguments in a in a marriage and everything else the issues come up when people can't handle those rough times because one thing that that I hate that people do try to say about marriage is oh it's it's so easy to just love someone and that's it. No that's not it. You feel me like marriage isn't it doesn't get old it doesn't get it doesn't get tiring or anything like that because we're changing as people every single fucking day. Exactly you feel me there I'm not worried about you feel me okay I'm paying this much of the fucking bill da da da da I don't give a fuck like she's helping me where I need the fucking help I'm helping her where she needs the fucking exactly bro you feel me as long as that's getting handled I could care the fuck less exactly if that ends up me being 90 90 to 10 on the fucking bills so be it. As long as when I do need that help you can send me some some help. Exactly you feel me whether that be financial whether that be emotional whatever the fuck it needs to be um then I don't care.
SPEAKER_04Exactly and that's why I say that whole that what works for your household works for your household bro like you don't have to like we let like you made a really good point like social media influences so much. Like women women and men men will see social media and be like yeah man he's doing this that and the third for his girl that works for him and his family what works for you may not be that and then women will see a lot of the shit that goes on on social media and realize you it's like you do realize that's the top one percent that's getting treated like that. That's not that's not you know what I'm saying there is 99% of niggas out here that don't live like that. So it's like a it's a lot of superficial shit that gets and and that's one of the things that I I really want to do with my platform bro like I don't just show the good shit. I want to talk about it's literally facts and foolishness.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna give you facts I'm gonna give you foolishness I'm gonna give you the good the bad the ugly I don't care like I'm really being transparent with everybody that that you know that comes across my podcast bro like I don't try to hide everything because that's that shit it's it's fake as shit about say it's more damaging than good exactly so you mean to tell me you've never got an argument with your dude you we know it's bullshit bro like and that's why it's important to show the good the bad and the ugly when dealing with relationships and dad shit and stuff like that because you know social media will misconstrue so much stuff it will give you a blurred vision of what real life is and attention span too exactly because they hear one part and then they go run with that and they'll run with it they'll hear the whole exactly they will take and this is one thing that and everybody does it everybody does but I'm going to say women specifically don't beat me up in the comments ladies y'all will feel a certain way and then go find a meme that validates what the fuck you feel hey nah that shit's fucking mad you will Google a fucking meme I'm not gonna bullshit like bro the wife has got so much we don't do it no more uh but early stages yeah we used to do a little meme war uh huh I ain't gonna cap that shit piss me off yeah it's like yo what what pages didn't follow that shit to me nah they put it you will post it on on your story a subliminal bullshit and it's always something that is like it's like what the fuck how how did you find this like no because that's some bullshit or did you make it like man I'd be I'd be high yeah but that's the quickest way to lose a fight right there but now for sure bruh for sure nah definitely and real quick just so we're not seeming like we're pessimistic here we all have big ass word we understand that there are couples that don't argue but another thing that I like to say is the exception is not the rule. Of course you feel me like I think everybody sees that kind of shit and they're like oh man that's for me too yeah nah nah nah nah sometimes like we're in this fucking participation award uh fucking era for some reason everybody thinks oh yeah that can be for me too nah hey that that's not it's not it's not every everybody got their own lane and I will say you you you said a good point you you know we understand some people don't argue but in a relationship marriage girlfriend boyfriend whatever the fuck it is if y'all aren't arguing from time to time somebody suppressing some bullshit yeah that's when it does come out that is how I feel though you're gonna it's gonna be something so minute that it you know what I'm saying and it's gonna send you over the top because you've been suppressing shit for the past six months and now that's not to say that's not gonna happen in your normal marriage. Exactly because I'm still gonna get pissed that you ate my fucking cinnamon toast crunch when I only have one bowl left. You feel me? I'm still gonna get mad about that but I'm less liable to fucking say you know what fuck this I'm going to get milk and never coming back. Yeah you feel me versus all right I go upstairs I cool off then I come back downstairs and we get you feel me like exactly but yeah so no I definitely feel you on that like you it it's I'm gonna say it's healthy to argue because people take that to the extreme at least talk about it. But it doesn't have to help it's healthy to talk of course and that's something I'm working on you feel me because I come from a family that that that wasn't a thing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah like yeah my mom you know super impath and all that stuff but you know my dad my dad is a brick wall yeah you know so I'm I'm learning now through my wife to to try to talk more to try to be more vocal about certain things you feel me and that's and once again that's a hit to the ego as a man that's a hit to the ego because it feels like wait this is a deficiency I have so what the fuck exactly you feel me so exactly um but I think once again that's one of those things that men have to be comfortable with admitting like like yeah bro it's okay like you had a deficiency so what like yeah it's all good like we're not saying you got a little dick nigga you feel me like you can talk about whatever the fuck you know it and it doesn't it's okay and it doesn't have to turn into an argument you know what I'm saying like I think one of those things I had to learn and first of all a marriage is constantly learning your partner it doesn't stop it's not like one day oh I figured her out I got it yeah no that's not it that's not it at all bro search for Atlantis exactly bro like one of those things like I'm continuously learning in my marriage is that you know you have to look at yourself too like and you also have to listen you know sometimes that's not my strong suit all the time which is listening. Yeah like you know I'm big on like if I feel something is common sense you know sometimes it'll send me because I'm like this shit is common sense and I understand that I understand that you know what is understandable to me may not be to you but to me this is common sense. I gotcha you know and I and sometimes I try to push that on to my wife at times and I have to take a step back at times be like you know what she doesn't view shit the same way as me and that's okay. You know what I'm saying? This isn't a dictatorship over here this is a partnership. Exactly you know what I'm saying so and like I said it's just constantly learning man and it's you know as a as a father as a husband you know this shit doesn't come with a blueprint it doesn't come with a blueprint and and we're just constantly learning and the moment that you like you said they when you feel like you got it life gonna hit you with a fucking okie dope but you know but you know like I said at the end of the day you know say this is all dad shit man and you know Father's day is coming up you know father's day is coming up like I think it was ranked up there like maybe if it wasn't number one it was like number two like least celebrated holidays which is kind of crazy but is it because it's that's a that's that's one of those self-inflicted wounds. Yeah because we don't be giving a fuck not really it's not really a big thing so it's like the the child that cries the most gets the attention and we don't be caring like I don't need another pack of socks you know what I'm saying I don't need another pack of socks on Father's Day send me a text tell me happy Father's Day and let's keep it moving.
SPEAKER_01I think men we just don't really so care in a sense like not that we don't care because we should be appreciated but I was about to say it's not that we don't care. So like at least for me it's not that I don't care um I don't care for the the grandeur of everything especially nowadays you know like um for example I'm throwing my stuff under budget past mother you feel me um I forgot some things I forgot some things you know um and for her that's a lot more of a a hate you get me and and it's like and that's where I did learn that I have a little bit of growth because I understood that like as I I fucked up that's me okay you get me that's that's not bad. Whereas Tony rolled me out of like shut the fuck up like what the fuck but now that I'm older I'm I'm trying to understand those things. You get me but for Father's day it's different for me. You get me like I don't need you to give me the grand or you feel me I don't need all of that like I'm genuinely happy especially now you feel me with the new house and everything that we just got there. Like I'm happy just waking up you feel me seeing you seeing my kids feel me get a little get us a breakfast you feel me a little little morning little morning herbs you feel me and and and then we're just chilling throughout the day um give me a break on the fucking grill you know so I'm not sitting there hot all day but yeah that's that's why I say dude that and not all of us but I will say 85 to 90 percent of men are so simple.
SPEAKER_04Yeah we're simple as well we don't now we will turn up over some shit that we're passionate about but for the most part we are simple human beings you don't have to I think a lot of times sometimes women will Put their own afflictions on us because you will carry this. Oh, I know if he forgot this on Mother's Day, I'm gonna turn up. So I gotta make sure I do that for him. It's not necessary.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I look at I don't look at that as a negative necessarily because that I look at that kind of like a uh treat people how you want to be treated kind of situation. So I can't be mad at them for that. Okay, like that makes sense and that's fair. Um you expect this treatment, so you're trying to show me that this is what you expect. And that's fine, and I get that. You feel me? Um like I said, for me it's just as long as you feel me, we're really we're chilling, um, I'm happy. You feel me? I'm good. Um now that's not to say like every single year that has to be the standard. Yeah. You feel me? Like in my opinion, treat men's father's days and I mean your husbands, not not baby deads. Um, because I think we do need to not pressure men into marriage, but I think we do need to get away from the baby dad's bullshit. Stop being a fucking baby father and like if you like if you if you're gonna lay up with shorty and get her pregnant, like bro, deal with her bullshit and do the right thing. Yeah, let's let's let's let's let's go ahead and fix these things. Exactly. But um moving back to the main topic, I think that honestly, like treat it like rings, you know, like marriage rings. Like, what is it, every five years? Something like that, it's the upgrade. Every five years, make make it a special five years. Exactly. You feel me? Because then at that point, it's okay, cool. I'm getting my little my little four or four or five years or whatever of just normal, hey, chill day. Exactly. I appreciate you, love you, you know. We we we get nasty at nighttime, cool. You feel me? But then, you know, that's fifth, six year, all right. Let me go out for him. Let me let me show out for him. Exactly, and I'm cool. Whereas men, we actually kind of do need to do that every single year.
SPEAKER_04Maybe women feel differently about certain things, and you have to understand that this isn't I married a woman, I ain't lay up with a nigga. Exactly. So I know that you know, this comes with the, you know, she wants to be baby, she wants to pre princess treatment and shit like that, man. Of course, man. And that's why it's like it's it's important to continuously learn your partner, man. Absolutely, and it's like, and this is random because I, you know, I know we're we're coming to an end here, man, with the with this pod, but um, this is a random question, has nothing to do with what the fuck we we were talking about at all. But this is my show, this is my podcast, I don't give a fuck. Um random is water wet?
SPEAKER_00Yes, water is okay.
SPEAKER_04Is water wet? No, no, don't just answer. I need you to think about it. Is water wet?
SPEAKER_00Yes, water is wet.
SPEAKER_04Okay, if I have a bucket of water, you would say that this bucket of water is wet. Okay. Now let me let me be a caveat. We're sitting here dry. We're not wet until we jump in the water or liquid hits us in some form or manner. Then we become we become wet. Yes, but it's when the water hits us that we become wet. So is the water just sitting there being still wet, or is it just water?
SPEAKER_01No, because water is transferring its state to us. I feel like you're trying to get real smart with me. It's kind of like this. I'll put it in the most late the most look, it's it's kind of like this. Water has a cold, uh-huh, and all it's doing is passing its cold on to us. So it's not that it's cold changed, it's just that it passed it on to us. So yes, water's wet.
SPEAKER_04So what about still water?
SPEAKER_01What about it? It's still wet.
SPEAKER_04It's just water though.
SPEAKER_01It's still wet, it just doesn't have any kind of current. Which is allowing for all the all the bad.
SPEAKER_04So you take a pond of water.
SPEAKER_01It's water. Ponds have not current, I don't know what the fucking word is for it, but that water, like, it may sit still at times, but it still gets disturbed because there's stuff in it. You get me? Like, still water is typically kind of inside, like there's covered, like it's nothing.
SPEAKER_04Do you feel like you're fucking with me? I'm being fruitful, bro.
SPEAKER_01I'm being fruitful because I ain't capped. Them still water videos fuck me up because I'm like, yo, like, what the fuck? Like, yeah, shit that goes on underneath. You hear me? Like the brain-eating amoebas and shit? Like, yeah, yeah. Like me and my wife be watching ancient civilizations and shit.
SPEAKER_04I just want to I know that was random, but I I kind of wanted to close out with a random question. It I feel and like I said, this literally was in the middle of while you were talking. I'm like, I'm gonna ask this nigga this question that was just sitting here burning in my head. I was like, was water wet? Yeah, so you think water is already wet in its natural form?
SPEAKER_00Yep, water is wet.
SPEAKER_04So if I put a bucket of water outside, it evaporates, it's now dry. It's can water ever become dry?
SPEAKER_01It's now changed its state.
SPEAKER_04Okay, okay. We're gonna go with that. We're gonna go, you made some good points. You made some good points, man. We're not gonna dwell on it too long, man. But but thank you guys, you know, ladies and gentlemen, for watching another episode of Facts and Foolishness. Once again, I'm your host, Tyler Coleman. You know, it was great having my boy Jeremy here today. You know, I I'm pretty sure we're gonna have a we're gonna have a lot more of you on this show, man. You know, this isn't with it. This is my this is my dad shit segment, you know, of my podcast, man. So you're gonna be seeing a lot more of us, you know, a lot more episodes to come, you know. So just hey, tune in, strapping for the ride, pause. Um but yeah, facts and foolishness, more episodes to come soon.