Not Everyone Wants To See You Win

This week's episode is a little different 👀 

I'm getting ready for the SKIN&KIN event on Monday (today!) and thought it was the perfect time for a catch-up episode. I talk about the excitement of attending industry events, the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded people, and why stepping away from your day-to-day environment can completely change your perspective.

I also share a recent situation involving another business tenant that tested my patience and got me thinking about something many business owners experience at some point in their journey... difficult people.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why not everyone will support your growth

• How to deal with people who seem determined to create conflict

• The mistake many younger business owners make when dealing with older, more outspoken personalities

• Why age doesn't automatically equal maturity or professionalism

• How to stop other people's behaviour from distracting you from your goals

• The importance of protecting your energy and staying focused on what really matters

• Why surrounding yourself with positive, ambitious people can completely change your mindset

If you've ever felt frustrated by someone else's behaviour, questioned yourself after a confrontation, or struggled to stay focused when negativity creeps in, this episode is for you.

As always, if you enjoy the podcast, please leave a review, share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @theskindustry_ so I can thank you personally.

Have a wonderful week and I'll see you after SKIN&KIN with a full event recap! 🩷✨

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of The Skin Distry. This week's episode is going to be a little bit different because I haven't sat down and like planned a big educational topic. I just just wanted to have a little bit of a chat to be honest. Like, I'm currently getting ready for this skin and kit event on Monday, which is actually today when you're listening to it. So if you're going, I will see you there, and I cannot wait. But if you've ever gone to an industry event before, you'll know that it's always kind of like a weird mix of excitement and nerves and last-minute prep and deciding what you're gonna wear and wondering who you're gonna meet and try to make sure you've actually like packed everything. Because I will be going to like my partner's, which is an hour away from home, before going to the event, and then some girls are staying. The event's at Cardin Park, by the way. So some girls are staying there, so obviously I've got to pack beforehand and whatnot. So it's all just it's stressful, but it's a it's a good stress, I think, anyway. So that's where I'm at right now. I'm sat with this mask on for the people that are watching. You can see I look a bit wild and crazy for the audio people. Let me a little bit of ASMR there for you. It's basically it's the Descartes oxygen mask. So I've got that on, and then I've got like plastic over the top of it. So I'm just gonna have this on while I record because Gal's got a lot to do this weekend. I've got stuff to do today. I needed to come and film the podcast because I've been super busy with the clinic this week, so I've not had time to do it. I needed to do my skin stuff today and do the podcast, and then I've got to go home, I've got to pack. Beans, my cat, is also coming with me. So I've got to pack all his stuff to take to my partner's house so that he can be there over the weekend with me because my mum is going away. So yeah, I've just got a lot going on. And then tomorrow I'm actually going having a treatment done. I'm going having lymphatic drainage massage, which I love. I do it, I like I offer it in clinic, and I love having it on myself. I've not had it for lit over a year, which is really, really bad. But I'm also having the is it the M sculpt? Like the Ultra Tesla thing, and I cannot wait. Because I go away in four weeks on Monday. And have I been to the gym once? No. I go to parties every week, but haven't been to the gym. So I need help. Like, I need help. And I just feel like I've been feeling really puffy recently. So I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go every week until I go on holiday, have my lymphatic and the hem sculpt ultra Tesla thing. And then hopefully by the time I go on holiday, I look like a Victoria's Secret model. But yes, alongside all of this excitement for the event, this week has also been a little bit chaotic. Now, if you're in the Skin and King group, you will know what I'm gonna talk about with this. But I thought this would be a really good opportunity to talk about something that I don't think we discuss enough. And it's how to deal with difficult people. And that's not even just necessarily clients, it's other business owners, which unfortunately does happen. It's happened to me a couple of times throughout the years and is currently happening to me now. So when you have been in business a long time, you will absolutely come across people that just don't like you or don't like what you do, or just are out to get you for whatever reason, whether it be that they're older and you're young and they're clearly just jealous because you're young and have got your whole life ahead of you and they're bitter and old. Or if it's because you have what they want, and instead of you know being kind and asking you for help, they again are bitter and try and pull you down. There's a million and one reasons why people behave like this, but it's not necessarily because you've done anything wrong, or because you've harmed them or treated them unfairly. It's literally just sometimes because you exist and they've just decided that they don't like you. And unfortunately, I have had a reminder of that this week. And without turning this into a full-blown drama episode, I have had some ongoing issues with another tenant in my building. So what started as something that was pretty small and just like insignificant has now escalated into a behaviour that I am actually like shocked that a grown woman would do, and it's just unnecessary and so unprofessional. Like the sort of behavior that after it happens, you sit there and you just think, What is going on? Like, eh? Are you are you alright? Like, are we actually doing this? Is this what it's come down to now? And that what's really interesting is that every time something like this happens, I question myself and think, like, could I have handled that better? Normally, yes. But also, have I done anything wrong? Am I being unreasonable? Because I think I second guess myself on that a lot and think, have I did have I unintentionally started this? And with this situation, I reached out, I spoke to my partner about it, I put it in my friend group chat and spoke to my friends about it, and I also put it in the Skin and King group chat and asked them because I thought, you know, maybe my partner will say, Oh, you know, yeah, it's not that bad. Maybe my friends will yes, mommy, and be like, no, that it's them, it's them, it's them. So I thought if I put it in skin and kin, someone, if they think I'm wrong, will say, Oh, I don't know about that. Like, maybe, you know, I wouldn't have done it like that, or whatever. And not a single person did. Every single I've spoken to clients about it as well and just been like, What would like what do you think of this? Every single person has been like, Why would they behave like that? Like, that's so rude and antisocial. I don't understand. Like, I do not get why someone would behave like that, especially a grown woman. Like, this woman is probably old enough to be my mum. Respectfully, no hate on, like, you know, people in their 50s and 60s, nothing against that, obviously. But if you're gonna behave in it, like behave like that towards somebody who is so much younger, like it just gives weird vibes to me, it gives bitter woman to me. So I think a lot of us question ourselves in situations like this, especially women, because we get labelled as like hysterical and you know, bitches and problematic and blah blah blah when we're just asking somebody to respect us. But I think sometimes people are just difficult and unhappy, and people project their own frustrations and their own unhappiness on whoever is in the way, basically. And one thing I've learned over the years that not every single problem is yours to solve. You don't have to absorb somebody else's negativity simply because they're directing it at you. You don't have to justify your existence, you don't have to shrink yourself to make somebody else comfortable, and you absolutely do not have to tolerate disrespect just because somebody is older than you. I think we're all very like aware of the saying, you know, respect your elders, respect your elders. But I'm at the point where, like, no, I will respect my elders if they show me respect first. If somebody who is older than me is disrespectful to me, best believe you're getting that straight back. I'm not gonna stand here and be bullied by somebody who's older, somebody who's younger. I'm not being bullied by anyone, like straight up. But just because you're older than me does not mean you can treat me like shit. And that's something that we need to remember, especially us girlies. There's a lot of you that are younger, a lot younger. Like some of you aren't even 20 yet. Like, that is insane, crazy wild to me. I know there's a lot of people that listen to this that are younger, and there are people that listen to it that are older, there's people that are the same age as me, you know. But maybe you are in your 20s, you've opened your first clinic, maybe you're the youngest person in the room at an event that you go to, and you're surrounded by people who have been in the industry for decades, and sometimes there is the expectation that because someone is older, they're automatically right, but age and maturity are not the same thing. Age and professionalism are not the same thing. Age and emotional intelligence are not the same thing. I have met 25-year-olds, 20-year-olds, 19-year-olds who handle conflict with grace, accountability, and respect. And I have met people twice or three times their age who behave like children. Little bratty children who have been told no and are thrown a tantrum. So don't automatically assume that you're the one that's in the wrong because somebody older is challenging you. Judge situations based on behaviour, not age, not status, not how loud somebody is. Behaviour. When someone repeatedly shows you who they are, believe them. I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, right? We've all had bad days. We've all had a bad day and maybe spoken to someone like shit, or snapped, or just not behaved how we normally would if all, you know, everything was functioning how it should be. That's fine. We're all allowed to have bad days. It's how you one take accountability for it, and two, continue after the fact. If someone is repeatedly doing these same behaviours and showing them who showing you who they truly are, believe them. Believe them. But another part of it is why other people try to drag others down. So this isn't just a business issue, it is like a general life issue. We've all seen it, we've all maybe been that person that's been had this behavior like directed at us. The reality is when you're building something, you're gonna make people uncomfortable. When you're growing your business, when you're improving, when you're gaining confidence, when you're gaining attention, when things are going well, not everybody's gonna be, you know, rooting for you and celebrating it. Most people probably will, but not everybody. Some people see your progress as inspiration, and other people see it as a reminder of things they haven't done, and that's where the resentment starts creeping in. The jealousy, the bitterness. But that's not me saying that everybody who disagrees with you is just jealous. I think that can be quite a toxic mind frame to have and like look at it. Sometimes we can be wrong, and being wrong is fine. Being wrong, this is something I have learned in therapy. Being wrong doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a human. So I think we, you know, can't just instantly jump and blame people for disagreeing with us. People are allowed to disagree with us, it's their behavior that surrounds it. But I do think that unhappy people look for somewhere to offload that unhappiness, and successful people become easy targets. You've seen it on in on socials. The people that leave hate comments on other people's posts are not happy people. You don't see anybody that is, you know, absolutely thriving in life and smashing it and is super happy and has got everything that they want and you know emotionally sound leaving hate comments ever. The only people that you see doing it are people that are clearly unhappy or something is going wrong in their lives, or they're not happy with where they're at in their life, or they're jealous, or they're bitter, or yes, you can disagree with something somebody says on socials, but that doesn't mean you get to tear them down. You can have a conversation, you can be an adult about it, you could just fucking scroll past. You do not need to leave a comment, like it baffles me that people do that. It's honestly crazy. If I find out one of my friends was somebody who left hate comments on somebody's posts on socials, I would not be friends with them anymore. I would cut them off so fast, it would be unbelievable. So whether you are, you know, posting on socials, gaining that attention and that attraction, and you're visible, you're doing things, you're growing, people in your like local area will talk about you, and your name will be in places that it wasn't before. You're moving forward. The lesson that I have learned in this, and I have had to learn it the hard way, unfortunately, but do not let somebody else's behaviour distract you from where you're going, because that's exactly what difficult people do. They steal your focus, they steal your energy, they take up space in your mind that should be dedicated to your goals, and that's exactly why I'm refusing to let this situation take away from what should be a really exciting weekend. Because in a couple of days, I'm gonna be heading to Skin and Kin. Well, for you listening, today I'm going. Learning from some incredible people, meeting the most incredible girls, some of which who I would like fully just class as friends at this point, coming home with fresh ideas and like a renewed motivation, that is where my energy deserves to go. Not into stupid arguments, not into drama, not into trying to reason with people who have already decided how they're gonna behave. So if you're listening to this today and you're dealing with somebody difficult at the minute, whether that's in business, in your workplace, if it's a client, if it's a family member, or anywhere else, you do not need everybody to like you. I don't know if you can hear that downstairs, which is the exact people that I have this whole issue with have just started hammering. What I was saying was, you don't need everybody to like you. You do not need everybody to understand you, you don't need everybody to support you. You just need to stay focused on where you're going, protect your beasts, set your boundaries, keep showing up. Fuck those people that are bitching about your posting, you know, your post in their WhatsApp group or saying things to your DMing you and like you know being mean. It just shows who they are and it really does show their character. And I think honestly, it's ugly, like it really is so ugly to behave like that to another business person. I had an altercation with the woman downstairs yesterday. I'm not gonna obviously get into it, but I had an altercation and she has messaged me on Instagram today and asked for us to have an amicable conversation and sort it out, which I'm gonna do, like I am gonna do, but I'm annoyed, like I'm so annoyed, and I just think like, how dare you speak to me the way you spake to me, like fully shouting at me. Who do you think you are speaking to me like that and behaving the way that you behave? Like it's actually so gross, and like, yes, the growing-up thing, have the conversation, deal with it, whatever. But the petty child in me does not want to do that. The petty child in me wants this to carry on, but I also really don't want it to carry on because like today I've come in, like I woke up this morning knowing that I needed to come in to film the podcast today, and I was literally like, Ugh, what if I see it? Like, what if as I'm coming in, like she's coming out, or whatever, or like yesterday. The reason the argument started yesterday is because I was going to the bathroom, like there's a shared bathroom in the building, so I was going to use the toilet. Man just needed a wig, like I just needed a wig, and then the whole altercation started. So, yeah, I don't want that like hanging over my head. I don't want coming into work to be the thing that's then like raising my cortisol level when I've tried very hard to get it. So, yeah, I am I am gonna say yes to having the conversation with her. I have left her unread because I thought now you can fucking swear. Because there was just a part of me that had to just be petty. So I will reply later. And to be honest, when I saw the message, it immediately like made me angry again. So I thought, no, I can't reply right now. I have I I have that was so common of me, I have learnt to not act out of emotion or try not to act out of emotion, don't do it well every time. But you know, I'm just a girl. But learning to just take a minute and sit on it before responding to something that has pissed me off is something that I have learned and it does do me very well. And if I do need other opinions, I will ask, like if I, you know, if something happens and I think I don't really know how to deal with that, or I'm maybe may act, you know, in the incorrect way with that. I will ask for other opinions. I will ask my friends, I'll ask my partner, I'll, you know, put in skin and can for the lols and just get like that outside view because I think sometimes I can take things I no, it's not sometimes, I know I take things really personally. So if I feel like somebody is being a bit rude, I take it as like a direct hit, like okay, you're gonna have to die now. Which it's really dramatic, but you know, we all have our reasons. I have reasons behind why I am like that, as I have learned in therapy. I'm working on it. I am working on it, I'm trying. This gal has spent thousands, and I mean thousands of pounds on therapy over the last couple of years. The person I was at 21, 22 would not recognize the person that I am today. Like, oh my god, I was the most argumentative, hostile, not just like general day-to-day, but if somebody pissed me off, I'd hit the roof instantly, which I can be very close to doing still now, but I know how to like rein it in, like I said, give it a minute, give it 10 minutes, give it an hour, give it a day if I need to. Just sit on it, calm down before I reply, do my breath work. One of my therapists taught me that, um, I say one of my therapists, I've had a few, taught me that it takes 90 seconds of breathing to like regulate yourself. So that is something that I do now. I literally set the timer on my phone and give it just 90 seconds, you know, focusing on my breathing, not thinking about it calming the fuck down because wow, I can be very quick to anger. But yeah, I am gonna have the conversation with her. Really don't want to. I hate situations like that. And if I go into it and she is a bitch, I don't really know how I'm gonna deal with it because I feel like I'll just shout again. And yes, I did shout at her yesterday. She started it, and I'm not gonna be spoken to like a dickhead. Not in my house, not in my place of work. Like I've worked here for three years, I'm not, I don't have issues with anybody else in the building, you know. We ev I get on really well with everybody else. I'm not being spoken to like that. Not when I'm trying to go for a wig. So yeah, I think we do just need to have a little reminder that just because somebody doesn't like you and is really, really going out of their way to just cause problems with you doesn't necessarily mean it's you. It's usually them. They're usually the problem. So keep it cool, don't lose your head. Like I did, don't lose your head, just be as professional as you can because I just think the way that you put yourself out there is the other things that you get back. And if that person is the only one going off, you know, popping off, causing issues, causing drama, and you're just like, not my problem, babes, then they're the one that's gonna look like the idiot, like they're just gonna look childish, and other people will see that as well. But also, do stand up for yourself, do not let somebody feel like they can just walk all over you. Because with this situation, I feel like now what has happened is they felt like they could just do what they wanted, walk all over me. I've actually then clapped back, stood up for myself, and now I have a message saying, Oh, you know, let's work it out, let's be amicable. That wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have, you know, not you know, condoning shouting at somebody. But if I hadn't shouted back yesterday and stood up for myself, I don't either I would not have received that message, like categorically wouldn't have received it. So we do have to stand up for ourselves. Do not let anybody bully you, especially not in your place of work. Like, what are we doing? And especially women, like it's always women. It's 2026, like we should be supporting each other, we should be having each other's backs, we shouldn't be being me being mean to each other, like grow up, grow up. But yeah, thank you for listening to this week's episode. It was a bit of a yappy one, but I hope it's helped. I hope if anybody is going through like that sort of similar thing, then it makes you feel a bit better and it makes you feel like you can handle it a little bit better. And if you are going through like a situation like this, give me a message. Let's have a chat about it, let's see what we can do, you know. Next week I will be giving you a full skin and can recap on all of the things that I learned, everyone that I met, and hopefully some really exciting insights that I can bring back and share with you all. I know that one of the things that we're covering is pricing because Sophie's like unveiling the new skin and can pricing calculator that's gonna be on the hub at the event, so we basically get the first look at it and get to use it. So I'll probably be chatting about pricing and stuff next week, which I know I have touched on before, but I think it is a really important topic, especially at the moment because everybody is stressing about money and that makes us feel that we shouldn't be charging as much and blah blah blah. But I shall get into that next week. As always, if you have enjoyed today's episode, please remember to follow the podcast. Leave a review and share it on your Instagram stories. Make sure you tag me over at the skindustry because I love seeing where you're listening from and how you felt about the episode. Have a gorgeous week. I will see the Skin and King girlies later, and I will speak to you in the next episode. Bye.